Tuesday, March 31, 2009

What & How Much Maturity Gives...

I had a talk with me big brother yesterday and we talked about things in the past and out of nowhere, he came out with the remark, whatever happened in the past gives you the maturity you have now. I tried to object by saying, “Ya know what, all the things that people appreciate about me now, I have been getting the same responds for many years ago. That means it’s nothing new. Like, I’m already into writing since schooldays. There have been matured people who said that they think I was a good talker, and that was for many2 years ago. It’s nothing new.” Then I paused and thought of something before I said, “Okay, YOU MAY BE RIGHT. I might be a lot matured now.”

The 18 years old You and the 25 years old you – what’s the difference? People would expect that you’re a lot mature than when you were only 18. Or surprisingly, some people don’t change that much. They are pretty much the same person they once were. But every year that is added to our age, it’s so UNFAIR to still be the same person. I bet that at least one thing about you has changed. If not physically, or if not showed that much mentally, STILL there are things that you once didn’t know, but now you know. Ok laa, I can’t really put other person as a sample or study case because I can never know so much about one’s progression. Then, I have to present myself again as the study case today. Errkss...How Tiring!! *Lols

Looking at myself many years back, say 5 years back. Man, part of me is still in me. I might claim that my passion in writing has been around forever. I remember writing many spontaneous words of wisdom all over my text books and read them every now and then when I was only 12. The only thing that sure has developed my writing skill is the topics that I can write now are much broader. I can write about as many issues as possible. I am not ashamed when I talk about the adult world because I am already an adult. I might not have so much experiences to know so much, that much , about everything – but because I have been listening to many people, read other people’s experiences and I even had talks with people a lot more matured than I am and yeah, I asked a lot of crazy questions – Plus, man, I’m still a person who thinks a lot! What all that gives me? My Maturity.

Maturity is not something that we say, Hey I want to become matured la one day. No, I don’t think you can ask for it. It just happens. It’s not a material that you can simply buy and wear. For me, TIME gives you maturity. True? NOT TRUE. Time doesn’t give you maturity. It’s Experiences that give you maturity. And Time makes it possible for you to experience more. One more thing!!! Listen carefully. What If I tell you that, even Experiences DON’T give you maturity. Unless...unless, you take lessons from those experiences. Until you think that those experiences MATTER to you, then only you take lessons from it, and then only it makes you a better person. A Better Person – yes, a better person is what Maturity makes you become.

Looking at myself 5 years back, did I able to talk this way, write this way? I doubt. There are things about me that surely have changed. I might be a talkative person forever but the things that I talk about are now different. I can talk about much more different topics and give fruitful opinion on different stuff. Yes, I can still talk about teddybears and yes, I can still talk TO my teddybears like when I was much younger, because I have been there. It can’t leave me unless I let it leave me. But I think my girly side is not a bad thing. I love that girly side inside me. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t be a more matured person. Man, I am already a different person compared to months ago. I still remember someone said to me in such anger, “You know what, what you did is IMMATURE!!” Whoaaaa... it got me silenced for a moment. Someone just told me that I was immatured. *giggles. And I did the little thinking and decided, he was right. So I corrected my ways. And after I corrected my ways, I actually learnt something from that. And from there, I’m already a different person in one way. So, let’s not talk about 5 years, even 1 damn conversation can make you become a different person already. It’s all about you taking lessons from everything that happens. The more new people you meet, the more you are willing to listen and know, then the bigger possibility to change.

I spoke to another friend last nite. I asked him about a girl that my friend just got acquainted to. The girl is much younger. I asked him how the friendship getting along. He said, “She’s too immatured la. So kebudak-budakan. We can’t even talk much. We are not talking at the same frequency la.” I listen to comments like this from different guyfriends. When I asked them their opinion about the certain girl, they might come with the remark about the girl’s maturity. Then I always go like, “To me, she is nice, and I think she’s quite smart too. And she sure is cute. Aren’t those enough?” Actually, guys could be smarter than what they know in evaluating the girls they want to court. And because I have the guts to ask much enough that I come to realize that guys also love maturity. Or maybe it’s just the age thingy. Matured guys sure love maturity. Or maybe, can we just conclude this...Maturity is a big attraction.

People can be informative and knowledgable as long as they try so hard to keep in pace with what’s new and what’s current. But maturity is much more than that. Maturity Should Be a gift that aging gives us. But the speed of maturity does differ from one person to another. You will become matured faster if you take things seriously – learn from anything and never be so selfish that you are just too good to learn from small things.

Okay, now that we come to this part of this post, I want to say that I don’t think I’m matured enough. If people mistaken me of being matured just because I never run out of topics or ideas to write or talk about, then I don’t deserve it. Because I may have listened a lot from other people’s experiences, but I can never beat those who own those experiences. My ideas are only theory-based – those who have hands-on experiences are much better to speak. But when I said to my ex that, I’m still the same person, but a much better lady – I think I mean it. I humbly think that I deserve to be called a better person. So for that, I release myself from the punishments I deserved from my acts of immaturity in the past. I definitely learn a lot. And should we be ashamed of all the immatured things that we did before? Let me answer. Don’t let the past get us. We have the ocean of tomorrows to make up. We are a lot Matured now, remember? :)

All the best to all of ya :)

Monday, March 30, 2009

Jangan Disiksa Itu Teddybear!!!



Oh well, Happy Monday everyone. Let’s begin the day with a welfare especially for all the teddybears in the world!! *Lols. Now I’m in the one of those funny moods. I can’t help it! I need to save the teddybears!!! Hahahahaahahahahahahaha 

Ada ni kadai jahit ba, owner dia sia kanal. Sia ingat dulu tu sia pi bercerita sama dia kan, sia punya mata jeling2 la di sekitar kedai dia tu. Sia nampak ni teddybear tertiarap di atas satu meja. Kici only tu teddybear. Kekiutan betul sia baa. Sia ni pantang sikit tinguk benda2 kiut. Sia senyum sendiri ja tinguk tu teddybear. Di badan tu tedybear, ada tercucuk beberapa jarum ba. But maybe dorang teda span so dorang “tumpang” kejap di badan teddybear tu. So the next time sia datang lagi, dan bercerita lagi sama dia, sia nampak lagi tu teddybear, ni kali lagi heavy sikit tu jarum2 di badan dia. Sia kekiutan oso tinguk....but sia sampat lagi tanya, “Kamurang rasa inda kesakitan ka tu teddybear tu ahh?” Trus dorang ketawa jaa dengan soalan sia tu. 

The next time sia datang lagi, mata sia mencari-cari tu teddybear. Ntah apa sudah jadi sama itu budak. *Lols. So, akhirnya mata sia terjumpa oso. Itu teddybear kana ikat dileher dia dan dia kana gantung di salah satu mesin jahit sana. Di kepala, di badan—abis baa suma penuh jarum! Bukan sudah urg ba tu tu teddybear!! (*Lols) Terus sia cakap, “Aduiiii...apa sudah jadi sama ni teddybear??” Terus dorang ketawa lagi. One of them menjawab sama sia, “Kami sudah minta kebenaran ba tu sama dia, dia cakap OK ja kalau mau kasi tumpang tu jarum peniti di badan dia.” Doiiiiiiiiiiiiii... kamurang tau ka, itu teddybear awal2 putih baa, masih lagi berseri. Masa sia datang tu kan, butul2 mangut ba muka diaa. Sia tinguk tu muka teddybear pun biut semacam ja, apa nda, barat ba tu jarum2 tuuu!! Pikir inda sakit kaa kana cucuk2 jarum tuu badan dia tu!! Lepas tu, digantung lagi lehernya, dan tertiarap lagi tu supaya tu teddybear nda banyak cakap la that! Haiyaaaa!! Betul2 penderaan terhadap teddybear ba!!! 


Mana buli macam tu kan? Sia ingin menyelamatkan teddybear itu ba. Kenapa mesti dia menjalankan tugas sedemikian rupa? Mau jua sia teriak ba tu sama tu kawan sia dan staff2 dia, “Buli kamurang pigi bili itu span khas yang bikin tempat cucuk jarum peniti kaa????? Mungkin RM1 jak ba tu harga diaaaa!!!” (*Lols hahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahah) Tugas seekor teddybear adalah untuk menjadi penghibur bai tu. Kasi meriah keadaan. Kalau tambah kecil, tambah kana sayang bai tu sepatutnya. Ini tidak!! Sia sudah nda tahan meninguk penyeksaan berlarutan terhadap teddybear itu!!

Baru tadi, sia singgah kejap lagi tempat dorang. Inda sudah sia larat mau tanya apa sudah jadi sama tu teddybear. Tapi sedang2 sia bercakap sama one of them, sia nampak ada satu benda bertiarap --- iaitu patung harimau yang jenis tiarap punya. “Oh Nooooo...” Sia cakap baaa... hahahaahahahahahaahahahahahaha. “Apa lagi korang mau buat sama tu patung harimau tuu ahh? Mangsa keseterusnya ka tu? Abissssss la kau ni kali o harimau” Hahahahaahahahahahaha. Cos dari cara dia bertiarap tu, macam ja sia nda tau dorang mau kasi jadi tempat cucuk jarum lai tu!!! Betul2 itu tempat adalah tempat penyeksaan binatang2 comel yang tidak bermaya ba, u guys paham ka? Mungkin kalau sia masuk tu, dan check satu2 mesin, sia pasti sia akan jumpa bermacam2 lagi jenis binatang2 comel yang dicucuk jarum!!! *Lols 

Actually, dorang mimang ketawa ba everytime I say something about the stuffed animals yang ada di sana. Dorang sedar yang sia seolah-olah anggap tu patung2 tu bernyawa ba. Uiks... nda kisah la bernyawa ka inda, tapi buli kamurang tulung buka tu jarum2 kaa? Kasi sia itu teddybear! Sia mau kasi mandi dia!! Cukup2 la korang punya penderaan terhadap suku sakat teddy tuu, paham kaa?? Sia report korang pigi tu Teledera Teddybear baru tau sana. 


Note: Sia sayang suma teddybear sia baa. If got time, nanti I show you guys muka2 teddybear sia. Cumillll betul muka2 dorang tu. Ada yang macam ewoks, ada yang mcm muka tekejut, ada yang muka penyabar, ada yang tutup mataa laa... *Lols. Erksss... Ok la, the first teddybear yang sia beli nama dia si Mike. Sampai sekarang dia ensem ba. You guys know why? Sebab sia manada pernah dera tu teddybear sia suma. Jadi korang kena paham kenapa sia jadi marah bila nampak ada penderaan teddybear berlaku!! Selamatkan teddybear itu! Tulung sayangi teddybear anda semua, paham?!! 

*Lols. Bah sudah2 la tu 256. Cukup2 la lawak di pagi hari ni. Hahahahahaahaha. Have a nice day everyone. Muahsssss

Sunday, March 29, 2009

When He Becomes More Than A Friend...

When you start to kenal a guy, and he has some kind of attraction, so you feel that you have the reason to know him more. So apa lagi kalau ada chemistry, lagi la best. Especially when the guy also feels the same way towards you. Dia pun rasa kau ni best dibuat kawan. It doesn’t matter apa niat dia la. But yang penting, apa2 pun bermula dengan perkenalan. Susah juga mau expect lebih2 kalau baru kenal kan. 

So bermula la satu persahabatan tu. Masa tu, anggap masing2 sebagai kawan baru. Ada saja benda baru yang kamu tau pasal dia, dan selalunya benda2 baru tu hanya akan buat kamu senyum. Sebab kamu tidak apa reason untuk rasa lebih dari tu. Teda rasa marah, teda rasa cemburu, dan yang paling penting lagi, kamu tidak judge dia pun tentang apa yang yang dia cerita pasal diri dia dan latarbelakang dia. Nda lama lepas tu, mula sudah mau kurik masing2 punya cerita lama. Kau pernah couple sudah? Berapa lama kamu couple? Kenapa kamu break? Ex kau macamana org dia? Then during the good moments, u guys akan even share the moments you and your ex shared. Sometimes it even sounds a bit more personal, but masa tu kamu tidak rasa apa2 pun. Rasa macam best dapat kenal dia dan dapat dengar cerita dia supaya kamu pun dapat belajar sesuatu dari pengalaman dia. Di sana la sikit demi sedikit share macam2 cerita. Cerita2 lucu, sedih dan gembira. Jadi dalam proses ini, kadang2 biasa la tu kalau berputik perasaan yang lebih siiiikittt, org cakap laa...bukan sia yang cakap ah. Hahahahaha. 

Nah...bila masing2 sudah makin hari makin rasa lebih rapat, mimang berputiklah rasa sayang di hati masing2 tu. Teringat pasal cerita2 dia, perkara2 lucu yang u guys pernah lalui, suddenly pandai rasa rindu. Esok mesti mau cerita sama dia lagi. Or pandai sudah tinguk2 tu gambar. Apa lagi gambar yang kiut2 tu. Tinguk dia senyum sama kamu. Pandai pula melayang kejap. Esoknya, dengar suara dia the first thing in the morning pun, rasa happy betul. Apa lagi kamu pun boleh baca sudah yang dia pun rasa benda yang sama macam kamu. Nah, mula2 tu joking2 la. “Rindu pula sama kau pagi2 ni. Eh kau ingat ka yang kita cerita tu ari tu, malam2 pun sia ketawa ba bila ingat”. Nah, perbualan begini ni kadang2 menambahkan lagi rasa siok dalam hati korang tu. Menambahkan debaran tentang “the next thing” dalam hubungan kamu tu. 

So, sampai la masa yang ditunggu2. Bila gelora di jiwa tu tidak tertahan sudah, nah, apa lagi. Kalau bukan lelaki yang mula, perempuan la. Yang penting, benda tu mesti diluahkan. Tidak dapat simpan sudah. Lagipun, masing2 mau satu kepastian supaya persoalan tu terjawab. “She Must Be My Special Girlfriend!!” So nda kisah la macamana u guys meluahkan, yang penting, mesti ada la tu soalan2 yang keluar. “Can we become more than friends?” Errkss... masih org pakai ka ayat2 macam tu ah? *Lols. The most common yang sia tau adalah, “Will you be my special girlfriend, 256?” (*Lols. Sia terpaksa mengorbankan diri sia untuk dijadikan contoh, supaya lagi jelas baa orang cakap. Hahahahahahaahahaha) So, kalau itu perempuan cakap, errksss...anu baa... anuuu... bla bla bla bla... nah, panjang tu jawapan dia, itu mungkin petanda yang perempuan tu rasa benda tu terlalu awal atau pun dia mimang nda mau jadi lebih dari kawan sama kau. TAPI...topik sia di sini bukan untuk jawapan yang cakap NO, tapi...untuk jawapan YA!! Iaitu, u guys finally declare as special boyfriend and girlfriend! Nah... so apa macam? Rasa mau teriak ka? Confirm laa mesti rasa terapung2. Dan trust me, you guys akan rasa macam tu selama beberapa bulan. Untuk yang lagi bertuah, maybe sampai jua la setahun. Rasa macam princess saja. Kana sayang2, kana belai2. Kena beli hadiah itu ini. Kana telefon hari2. Lepas tu, nda kisah la berapa kali dia cakap I Love You, kau nda akan bosan punya. Lepas tu, rajin pula minta kiss, walaupun cuma flying kiss ja dari phone or sms. Hahahaahahahahahahaha. Ok, lets for to the real part of this topic! 

Entah kenapa dulu, masa dia cerita macamana dia jumpa macam2 perempuan, kau buli tidak jeles? Jangan kan itu, sedangkan dulu dia cerita dia kasi bili ex dia tu teddybear besar yang tulis I Love You pun kau langsung nda rasa apa2. Kenapa rasanya begitu berbeza sekarang? Hati kau pandai rasa pedih, walaupun kau cuma teringat saja apa dia cerita2 dulu pasal perempuan2 yang pernah singgah dalam life dia. Kau ingat juga tu yang dia cakap dia nda sudah ingat ex dia tu, dan kalau ada peluang pun, dia tidak mau balik sama ex dia tu. Tapi entah, dari mana datang tu rasa “curiga” – sibuk pula kau pikir, macamana kalau dia berjumpa balik sama ex dia tu ah? Macamana kalau berputik balik tu perasaan? Atau tu ex dia mau goda dia balik? Perkara2 yang sama saja, cuma perasaan dan reaksi kau terhadap perkara tu adalah berbeza. Sekarang hati kau senangnya rasa sakit. Jangankan cakap ex dia, sedangkan bila dia cakap sikit yang dia pegi bayar bil, dalam hati kau buli terpikir sepa la perempuan2 yang mungkin dia jumpa masa tu. Mungkin perempuan di kaunter tu yang lawa dan seksi gila, and then buat senyum2 manja lagi sama boyfriend kau. Wooo... itu baru laa, working 24 hours ba itu pikiran. Pikir sampai ke negeri China sudah. 

Itu lain lagi kalau itu boyfriend lambat balas SMS, or tidak call...tarik muka panjang sudah tu. Kalau dia nda sambut call, lagi lah macam kana picit2 saja tu hati kamu. Kalau dulu, cerita la apa saja, kamu akan terima dengan senyuman. Tapi sekarang, kamu hanya mau dengar benda2 yang kamu mau dengar saja. Jangan sampai salah cakap. Apa lagi kalau terlepas cakap, “Ui sia nampak perempuan tadi, punya seksii. Jalan pun bukan main goyang lagi. Tekeluar biji mata sia ba tinguk.” Haa, yang lelaki tu, kalau kamurang nda pernah rasa macamana kana pukul pakai high heels, baik janganla cakap benda2 macam tu depan girlfriend kamu yang tersayang tu. Hahahahahahaha. 
Lain lagi kalau itu ngam2 terkena masa tu lelaki punya mood nda bagus. Silap2 dia buli kasi lepas marah sama kamu pula. Tapi kalau masa masih kawan, dia cakap satu kali Sorry saja pun, cukup sudah. Sekarang ni, sorry ja tidak memadai. Mau juga 3 hari 3 malam tu mau dipujuk baru la ok macam biasa. Sampai la ada adegan tangis menangis lagi tu. Siap keluar semua bahasa “Belah la dada sia kalau kau mau tinguk macamana sia sayang kau!!” (*Lols). 

Then antara yang paling ketara sekali. Kalau dulu, nda payah mau kasitau dia kau mau pegi mana, pegi dengan sepa, jam berapa jalan, jam berapa balik, pegi naik apa – itu pun syukur la kalau dia pecaya apa kamu cakap. Kalau dia mau juga check yang betul semua kamu cakap tu, nah, lagi la payah ini jalan cerita. Terus kalau ada function kau pigi yang kau miss kasitau dia, then tiba2 kau tersebut, perkara kecil macam perkataan “Hotel” itu saja pun sudah menyebabkan perang dunia ke-3 buli meletus tu tau. Hahahaahahahahahahaha. Rasional pun hilang ba. Ini hotel ini tempat org buat macam2 majlis, tapi buli2 pula dalam kepala dia teda lain melainkan check in. Hahahahahahaha. Ish ish ish, mimang dasyat betul pikiran org2 yang sedang bercinta ni. 

Hati dan jiwa sentiasa curiga, ragu, cemburu, bimbang, takut dan macam2 lagi. 

Kamu masih ingat kan yang sia tulis – Cinta? Wah, Penatnya. Nah, ini actually melihat kepada perkara ini dari sudut yang lain sikit. But perkara yang sama. Dan kali ni, sia mau tekankan satu lagi perkara. 
Lepas kita lalui semua perkara2 ni, rasa sudah macamana tinggi rendahnya langit. Kacau bilau dan kepayahan semasa dalam perhubungan tu, mimang tidak sama untuk setiap pasangan. Kalau yang kurang bernasib baik, semua bebanan ini sudah mengatasi dia punya kemanisan. Macam mau bernafas pun susah. Rasa dikongkong, dan pada masa yang sama, sendiri pun mau mengongkong. Sebab masing2 mau jaga hak masing2. “You’re my boyfriend so you must listen to me!” Then kalau dia tengah panas lagi, “Kau belum jadi bini sia lagi. You’re not my mother. You have no right to tell me what to do!!!” Itu masa lelaki tu tunjuk kuat. Tapi kalau dia sendiri, biar pun dia belum jadi laki, biar pun dia bukan bapa kau, tapi dia mungkin buli jadi lagi teruk dari bapa kau. “Jangan pakai itu baju low cut. I don’t want the guys to look at your breast, paham ka sayang? Itu baju kau pakai masa kita dua orang saja.” Hahahahahahahaaha. Macam2 ada ba 

Then...masa kamu duduk sorang2 mengenangkan semua perkara-perkara ini, atau mengimbas balik semua kenangan masa kamu baru mula2 kenal dulu.... buli tersenyum balik. Sioknya masa tu. Kadang2 tu sampai buli pula mengalir air mata ba bila teringat balik saat2 masa baru mau kenal2. Rasa hati tu ringan betul. Sebab masa tu rasa best betul. Macam semuanya indah belaka. Kamu pun rasa heran sama diri kamu. Kenapa kamu jadi begitu banyak pikir sejak dia jadi boyfriend kamu. Permintaan kamu pun terlalu tinggi. Kamu bukan mau juga ba tu rasa kecil hati dan merajuk kalau dia lupa bday kamu. Tapi entah kenapa kamu merajuk juga. Bukan juga kamu mau ba tu rasa jeles sebab kamu tau dia sayang gila sama kamu, tapi entah kenapa, mulut kamu tu mau jua cakap benda2 yang menyakitkan hati dia. Yang buat dia rasa tercabar. Kadang2 tu saja2 mau testing dia – macamana dia jawab kalau kamu buat drama sikit. Doiii dogooo... Nah, itu masa la, terdetik di hati kamu... 

Bestnya masa masih berkawan. Kalau buli pusing balik tu masa, MUNGKIN kamu sanggup kehilangan semua kenangan indah masa bercinta tu asalkan dapat balik macam asal yang kamu masih berkawan. Masa tu jiwa kamu tiada bebanan dan working overtime yang sangat2 memenatkan. Pikir punya pikir, pusing punya pusing...nda heranlah kenapa ada org cakap yang Friendship is better than love. :)

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Lampless 60 Minutes

“Malam ni mau balik awal tau. Galap sudah tu jam 8.30,” said my mom just now. *giggles. Cute, right. Suddenly it becomes a big deal to make sure you turn the light off at 8.30. Then I said to my mom, I’m sure the shopping mall won’t turn off the light. The bags must be full of stolen stuff if you know what I mean. Hahahahaha. 

Since this campaign has been aired in media, I read quite a lot of responses. Like, if they want the light out then why don’t just ask SESB to shut the power off and then whole Sabah will be in darkness. Hahahaahahha. My gawd. What’s the point? Again, my parents said the same thing last nite and I said, “It’s not the same. If they want to do that, they can certainly shut the power off now, not only for 1 hour, they can do it up to the whole day if they want! But this is about AWARENESS ba ni. If you want people to take part, put a little heart for the earth, something “small” like this would mean a lot in the long run.” My mom thought that this would be like a darurat or something. You must do it else you’ll be fined. Then here comes the funny thing again, “Will anybody be there to check around if all the houses turn off the light at 8.30 to 9.30? Will they have a guard outside the house or what?” Kiut betul ba pemikiran ni org2 tua kita ni kan. Hahahahaahhaha. Berabis sia tahan ketawa ba. Bukan juga funny apa. I imagine that they thought the 1 hour is going to be a 1 hour of silence, sitting quietly, experiencing the moment of darkness, counting every minute and there goes the countdown... 3, 2, 1 It’s 9.30!!!!!! Let’s get back to life! Switch on the freaking lights!! *Lols 

All this campaign surrounding -Save The Earth- is just a tiny thing a bunch of alert people can do ba. If you don’t understand why they even have the guts to start this, it’s pointless. Speaking of environment, our Mother Earth is suffering. The more we read about how the earth is in bad shape, it sure freaks you out. Even if we won’t be here to witness the worst that could happen to this earth, it doesn’t mean we can simply wash our hands and let the younger people think and find the solution since they will be around much longer. Is that so? Then who tells you that it’s going to be a LOT latter? What if the descruction happens before our very eyes, when we are still alive and breathing? No one knows the end line of this. We don’t know how long the Mother Earth can stand suffering. As far as human beings are concerned, as long as we are moving forward with technology, we have the money to buy what we want, to have good times with the people we love, that’s all that we care. We might not care if we have at all anything to do with the ground we are stepping now. The free air that we breath in. It’s the Mother Nature that is providing us with all that, then only it’s possible for us to exercise our right to live a life that we choose to live. Yes, the knowledge is here. The everyday thing that we do could do more harm to this earth. When you read somewhere that whenever you use hairdryer, it will contribute to the depletion of ozone layer. You think, How So? Alah, nevermind la. It’s just me ba ni. Using it for 5 minutes, how much damage can I do to the ozone? 

I’m not here to speak as if I were an enviromentalist. I’m just like you. But it’s good when they have a campaign like this, I have the excuse to spare some thoughts for this earth. What I can do? I think, the most basic thing is do not throw rubbish around. I know some people are just too negligent about this. “I don’t own this earth, why should I care?” You see, if you don’t even see the needs to be thankful that you have a ground to walk on, you can switch off the light for 24 hours and gain nothing. For tonite, you might have to switch off the light for 60 minutes, some whose activities has to cancel or delay because of this might have more to say – it doesn’t matter. Bottomline is you spare some thought and thankfulness for this earth. I don’t care in what way, in what element, in what angle...Spare some thoughts that this mother nature is making LIFE possible for all of us. It’s lent to us. It’s good that when nothing comes free these days, you don’t have to pay for oxygen. You have a million dollar house, but if it doesn’t have a ground to be built on, there won’t be a million dollar house. You built it on top of a tree? Even the tree needs a ground to grow. We can’t run away from this. This earth does a lot of underappreciated things for us. What does it needs from us? It doesn’t have a voice to speak, but the voice and anger might be expressed in the most cruel ways – do tragedies has to happen and souls must fly just to make us spare some thoughts about something that you build your life on what? 

After all the Mother Earth does for us, how hard it is to turn off the light for 60 minutes? 

Spare some Thoughts for the Earth.

Friday, March 27, 2009

The SMS Affair

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a female friend. I was surprised to learn that she has been engaging “very closely” with a guy I also know. This friend of mine is engaged and I have met her fiancé too. The thing is, why that friend still shows and gives time and attention to another guy? The guy works doorsteps away from her and she said that even from their respective workplace, they sms about a lot of things. And it goes on until midnite. The guy knows she’s engaged. The lady’s fiancé also knows that she is sms-ing with a guy who works in the same building. Of course he doesn’t approve it but the lady feels that she’s doing “nothing wrong”. She would rather argue with her fiancé than trying to sooth him by saying “I’ll stop sms-ing him.” The guy said that the only reason why the 2 of them sms-ing each other is because they are attracted to each other and he said, the other guy should know and respect the lady’s status as someone’s fiancée so he should draw a distance. So far, nothing bad happens yet. But I understand what the lady has in mind. She feels that this is totally innocent. And then, I learnt that, she has also gone to movies alone with the other guy. My gawd. Are you sure no feelings whatsoever? This is starting to sound like a denied attachment, my dear friend. People are becoming more liberal these days, I should have known? Hahaha.

I asked her one simple question. WHAT IF your fiancé, does something like you do now? Sms-ing another girl with your knowledge, and when you start to snap, he explains the same thing you have been explaining him, that this is just friendship, don’t you believe me? Guess what her answer was? She went silent. She couldn’t say a damn word. And after the silence, she finally said, “I think I must feel uneasy too.” Then the puzzle is now solved. Don’t blame your fiancé for doubting you because you would feel the same way too if you were in his shoes, and guess what? You are not even in his shoes yet, but already you feel the pressure of trying to guess what it would be like to change place.

But I also understand the sincerity in her voice. She knows where her heart is. Friends are friends and the fiancé is still the guy that she loves. But I refused to make it easy for her though I could use my logic to understand. “Do you sms a lot with your fiancé?” She said Nope. “And why is that?” She answered, “Maybe because we have run out of topics to talk about. We’ve been in a relationship for 3 years and there’s not much to talk about anymore.” So my dear readers, let’s justify. The needs to love and make friends are separable. The one you love might not be the best person to chat with, and vice versa. Wow…it’s almost revolutionary. I always believe that “a partner” is everything you need. Like he’s my lover, he’s also my bestfriend. I don’t want to separate it. It’s unfair. Do I have that much space to divide between 2 guys? Even if I do have that space, why must I divide. They are both guys. Why don’t my guy be both to me? Do we need an alternative so that in case anything bad happens, we won’t be lost and alone? Why make that an option to begin with? Isn’t that selfish? Ahaa…there go the questions like neverending.

With all the heated arguments that caused by her Honesty, I think that she puts herself in a mess. I just popped out this. “Actually, you don’t have to tell him everything. To avoid problems and misunderstanding, don’t have to tell him that you are sms-ing another guy” She explained to me why she should. She wants to avoid any untoward incidents that could happen if she doesn’t tell him. After her explanation, I understood. She did the right thing.

It’s still strange to me though. Her liberalism taught me a good lesson. I wished that I could be like her. Her relationship is not fragile. She herself is not fragile. She can do anything she thinks is right and still can keep what she has. As for me, I realize all over again how hard I had tried and done to keep things mine to remain mine and still lost them – and I wasn’t even that liberal, something that I thought could bring damage to a relationship. The experience of putting a Fullstop to any friendships with “the other guy” had taken my life away. And this lady right here knows how to not lose her life and still keep her love. At least, for now.

Maybe some people are born to do things slightly differently. But an sms affair is just nothing compared to “to whom your heart is beating faster for” – no freaking sms can change that, right? Why, then maybe I should blow this up, right?

As long as you know who you love, that’s good enough.

My other suggestion would be, if you don’t need the fire and can afford to stay away from it, better stay away from it. Because the fire is tame when it’s small, but when it’s big, sometimes it’s too late you even try to put it off. You just get burnt. What do you say? :)

The Reluctant Friend...

I went shopping for lingerie earlier today. When I was in the fitting room, my phone rang. It was from an office phone. I didn’t pick it up. It rang again. I let it go unanswered. I couldn’t understand why I felt so heavy to pick the call. I know the phonecall is from a guyfriend, the one who I once called a bestfriend. I mentioned about this guy many times in this blog alone. And since I was at the shopping mall, I supposed to be rushing back to my workplace, but I didn’t. I had this funny guess that he could be there waiting for me at my workplace. Why I couldn’t explain my reluctance to speak anything to him. Let alone, meet him and chat like the old days.

The last phone call he made was a nice one. Nothing bad happened. He told me that he missed me. I didn’t tell you guys that he also wrote me a long e-mail telling me just about the same stuff he talked about on the phone. One extra thing he said that he wanted to visit my workplace and make up for the times we have not met and talked. I remember replying the mail in such a hurry, and I remember the feeling that “Hey, there’s no need to make up for anything.” I feel that the times we didn’t contact each other is something normal. He’s busy and I’m busy too, he has no responsibility over me and me over him. We are only friends. I didn’t like the feeling when he told me that he wanted to make up. Hey, he doesn’t owe me the time lost from the friendship and I don’t like that feeling ba. The problem is, I don’t know why. Actually, I have this strange unexplained attitude. There are certain people that I don’t want to have anything to do with, for at least a certain period of time. I will avoid contacts with them, or when they try to be in touch with me, I will respond hesitantly.This time, it happens again, and this time, this guyfriend is the victim. I don’t like it when I can’t explain why.

Could this be just the outcome of a long evaluation that I accidentally did on him.

Or, let’s just put it this way. Let’s put a temporary and spontaneous explanation to my behaviour. Do I question his sincerity? Do I think that he only comes to me when he needs me? If yes, maybe I know why I am reluctant to respond to him. On the surface, this friendship is looking just nice. When we met each other, he was just a normal officer. After the last call, I got to meet his friends and they told me that he got promoted to a higher post, in fact, the highest post in that department. I realize that I can call him “a somebody” with the post that he’s holding. I felt a bit humble and small when I had to learn that from his friends, and not from him. I feel that he certainly doesn’t have a reason to still be “stalking” an old friend when he has more new people to associate. He doesn’t lose anything by NOT trying to put me this in funny situation that as if he’s forcing to “reunite” with me in the name of – old time sake. If he knows what I’m feeling now, it’s best for him to just let me be. If he shows up anytime in front of me, he would be getting the funny spontaneous reaction from me. I can’t fake my emotions. I’m not feeling comfortable with this friendship with him anymore. And maybe it’s true that I can’t explain why, but it’s best not to make it look more complicated. I’m glad that he’s doing great with his work now. But as far as friendship with me is concerned, I prefer that we draw a distant. He owes me nothing and I definitely owe him nothing.

It’s one uncool thing that happens in this life that could have turned out to be better. Friendship should be treasured, right. I hope that this doesn’t happen all the time cos I know for sure, that eventhough I might not be call “my bestfriend” by many, but I always think that friendship is something I treasure so much. Lets keep our friendship alive, as much as we can, ok? :)

Crush On Him: Should I Tell?

My fellow beautiful female friends. Inda kisah la siapa kamu, berapa umur kamu, apa kerja kamu dan siapa lelaki di sisi kamu sekarang. I’m sure that once in your lifetime, kamu pernah ada crush dengan mana2 lelaki yang pernah kamu jumpa.

A guy having a crush on a girl, Normal la ba. Who will question? Apa dia buat, kasi bunga? Kasi surat? Kasi coklat? Kasi la macam2 pun. Even nyanyi for her depan orang. Noone would laugh at him ba. Tapi kalau kita perempuan ni yg ada crush sama a guy, what should we do? Okay, since this is my blog, nda lari la sia cakap pasal pengalaman sia sendiri. Seumur hidup sia ni, I think I had my biggest crush on a guy when I was 18 years old. I mean, this was totally Me having a Crush on him. Lain2 kes tu, biasanya the guy akan mula, or anything like that la. But this one crush, it was ME! Then if you asked me, what I did? I totally enjoyed my crush, like to the MAX! I didn’t actually demand anything back from the guy. I just admired him from afar. I watched him play football like every late afternoon, just enjoying the view. The fact that I was not in the same class with him, I didn’t get the chance to be near him. I could only steal a sight of him before and after when the class session. Whether it was at the canteen, library or the field! It was a crazy crush, Actually!!! Hahahahahaha. Man, I lurvee the experience. It’s like, the whole college knew about it, but nobody really talked about it openly. I never hid it from my friends that hey, I likeeee that guy, A LOT. I looked at it as a healthy thing. Hello??? I was a healthy normal teenager. Pheww, I have a heart that works, finally I could prove! *Lols. Okay, how I handled it? I NEVER TOLD HIM about that. I never actually spoke a single word to him. The sweet moments happened when I stood at one corner, and he stood at the other corner, our eyes met and I smiled at him, Omigawd 256, wasn’t that obvious??!!! *Lols. And the best part was, He smiled back at me, so so sweetly. I got hold of my reaction, and turned back and went to my friends and screamed, He Smiled At Me!!!!! *Lols. Yeah, the superhyper 256, like always. If you ask me, why didn’t I let him know that I like him?

1. I didn’t feel the needs to do that. I didn’t plan the crush and since it happened, I only wanted to enjoy it.

2. I didn’t think I have the desire to make him my boyfriend – I wasn’t ready. It was just a BIG crush, maybe? It’s the age thing.

3. The crush was a new overwhelming feeling, sometimes I felt that it was bigger than what I could handle. I could not get overly crazy and spoil the whole thing.

4. I was a girl. Wasn’t it improper to just confess your feelings? What if he didn’t like me back?  This is a normal dilemma. If you have the same thing in your mind, you’re not an alien.

Actually, this is one thing in my life that I could have done differently if I had the chance to reDO it one more time. The thrill was so fun. Now that I knew the outcome, I would not mind to just go back in time, (in a long dream, maybe?) and this time, I promise I would tell him to his face. “You know what? I like how you play football. I like how you walk. I like that blink2 on your ears. I think your hair is cute and that smile, my oh my, one of the sweetest I have ever seen. All in all, I think it’s not too much of me to say that I have this little crush on you.” (Boooooo 256, those words suck! Luckily you didn’t say them. Hahahahaahahahhaha. You saved your face, be grateful!)

Ok, serious now. What should we do ah? Itu dulu. When I was 18. Actually, age ni ada effect juga ba dalam ini hal. Masa tu, you have a crush on almost all the wrong reasons. Semua sebab2 yang superficial ba. Cute sikit, macho sikit --- sudah ada crush. Hahahahaha. Now cuba laaa. Kau pikir sia tinguk lagi ka tu barang semua? Lain sudah ba tarikan lelaki tu di mata kita. Kita punya penilaian berbeza sudah. So maybe I did the right thing la masa tu. But let’s speak of something general la. How to handle this crush yang sometimes gets bigger and bigger. Kadang2 tu feeling tidak tertahan sudah ni ba. Macam u sometimes fikir yang, hey, it’s unfair to keep this alone. I Must Tell Him!!

Well, first…Actions Speak Louder Than Words, agree? Maybe you guys tidak payah spell it out for him ba. Tidak payah cakap itu words, “I think I have a crush on you.” Nope. Why don’t you guys Show It, in your own sweet gentle ways. Show him some generous attention. If you can get into his phone, sms la tanya khabar. Or just make some silly excuses just to get in a conversation with him. Tanya him benda2 yang menarik minat dia. All this adalah normal la. A normal thoughtful friend would do it too. So dari that little thing going on, you can sense any “green light” whether or not the person has the same tingle towards you. Selagi u selesa untuk teruskan, teruskan saja. Berpikir secara positif la. If you think you’re overdoing, slow down sikit. Don’t scare the guy away! Hahahahahaaha. From there, you will know what to do. Basic dia cuma how you start it saja. Yang lain2 tu, it will develop sendiri. Crush ni cuma satu benda yang sangat basic ba. Sangat raw. Belum tentu lagi you akan terus suka that guy when you know more about him. So the point is, to see if this can lead to something bigger. Eh, what if the guy has someone already? Wooo…you actually have a crush on someone’s guy? My goodness! *Lols

Emm…susah juga macam tu kan. Ok la, macam ni la. Luckily la manusia ni ada perasaan. Biar la dia boyfriend orang ka, tunang orang ka, bukan juga kau plan ba tu mau ada crush sama dia. I think you have to at first, be friendly with the word “crush”. Look at it as a raw feeling of admiration towards another person. Appreciating the person’s punya good quality. The key is, just make friends la. Be realistic dengan your situation. Tidak juga you terus pok mau aim boyfriend orang dengan harapan, “Harap kamu break la cepat2!!” *Lols. Nope, it’s not like that. Inda juga bagus kalau kau bina kebahagiaan atas tangisan orang lain, kan? Paling senang – everything starts with friendship. If he feels the same way, I’m sure something good will happen from there. Kalau sudah teda kesesuaian, kau paksa macamana pun, mimang inda jadi juga tu. So dalam hal2 feelings ni, kita kena realistic juga. Sentiasa rasa yang itu Crush adalah hak kau untuk rasa dengan sepa pun. Untuk the person who return the feeling, itu hak orang tu. So masing2 ada hak, jaga hak masing2 ja. Cukup. Each of you has no responsibility whatsoever untuk return itu feeling secara paksa. It has to happen mutually and naturally. Sia rasa, kalau basic dia betul, everything yg kamu buat pun akan berada di landasan yang betul. Jangan terlalu obsess dengan Crush ni. Feel good about it, enjoy it and buat if you feel it’s right, then show the person that you care.

Look, I can never tell you what to do. Tapi how you look at “having a crush on a guy” is very important. Lain2 hal tu, kau main “redah jer”, provided that kau kena ada prinsip juga dan sentiasa pikir dulu sebelum buat. Kita sebagai perempuan ni, nda kisah la ini zaman millenium sudah, tapi it doesn’t change anything about kita punya dignity. Kita punya harga diri tu ba. Apa buli buat kalau still the guy would mistake you for being terhegeh-hegeh, itu kita nda ble control apa outcome yang org rasa sama kita. But dari kita sendiri tu yang paling penting. Kau tau kau sepa, kau tau diri kau macamana – lepas tu paduli la apa org mau pikir. Yang bestnya di zaman ni, org semakin open ba. Kalau dua2 berpikiran matang, teda hal ba ni semua. Inda kan la kalau tu org confess dia ada crush dengan kamu pun terus dia tidak mau kawan, kan? Kalau jadi macam tu, let the person go saja la. That’s too immature la. Apa pun, pasal orang sekarang ni cukup pintar, nda payah cakap ba tu. He can read between the lines. The thing is, don’t send the wrong signal to the wrong guy la. You have to show it clearly who gets your attention more. Bottomline, sendiri punya hati, sendiri mau ingat la. Hati cakap A, perbuatan pun kena buat A juga. Kalau kau kasi rumit jalan kau sendiri, kau juga susah. Make it very clear. If you can’t solve your own confusion, what more can you expect from yourself? Apa2 pun, semua mula dari diri sendiri!

So, is the idea bulb blinking now? Good luck, gals! :)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Most Terrible Customer by Yours Truly

*Lols. Wooo... sia ni jangan tau kutuk customer saja ba. Cuba sia cermin diri sendiri, ok ka tidak? Ok, let me do it.

Yesterday, I talked about my customers. Now, let’s be fair. Am I good customer myself?

Omigawd. I just remember how terrible I was as a customer, last year. Remember when I told you in one of the post that I actually shouted at the DHL clerk through the phone? I was so pissed because I waited for almost a month for my shipment to arrive. I was told that everything could be settled in 1 week. Don’t you feel mad if you were in my shoes? The fact that I have paid a few hundreds for the DHL shipping charge- why DHL still wanted me to pay another RM30 just to send the stuff to my place? So what I did? I really did start an argument with my supplier. *Lols. The salesman charged me a few hundreds for the shipment, and he didn’t explain from where the charges come from. He just popped out an amount I have to pay because he knew I was desperate. I mean, I needed the item in order for one of my important equipment to work and his company is the only one who could provide the parts for me. Damn! And I knew that he could easily take advantage of my situation, but I still paid the amount. I wanted it FAST! I gave him some conditions that I needed the items to arrive to me in one week and make sure I didn’t have to pay for more shipping charges or duty tax or anything like that. He said Okay, okay. And I remember telling him, I WANT YOU TO USE FedEX, NOT DHL. That part was very important. I was pissed with DHL and he knew about it. Okay, and how should I react when DHL called me just to tell me that they have an invoice of RM30 I needed to pay once my shipment arrived. Huiyoo...actually it was not the first time ba tu. I have paid for that amount at least 3 to 4 times. But those times, I didn’t complain. Sebab before that, the salesman was being detail about the charges. I tell you, I won’t complain teda reason bah. Itu SATU BENDA yg sia minta pun dia tidak buli buat. Dorang sendiri cakap itu DHL yang service paling mahal di dunia, jadi kalau sudah customer minta dorang kirim pakai FedEx, why masih buat2 tidak dengar? Itu salesman sepatutnya sudah tau that I am VERY CEREWET and sudah balik2 he argued with me. Itu charge dia yang over2 pun sia buli tutup mata ba tu masa, walaupun dia akan untung lebih kalau pakai FedEx, tapi apa dia buat? Dia pakai DHL pula lagi. And then, yang bikin meradang, shipment yang sepatutnya took 1 week, jadi 1 bulan. Sebab halfway sudah tu barang kana kirim, dorang call “tarik balik” sebab baru sedar dorang hantar untuk model yang silap so buang masa lagi sana. Sudahlah sia mau cepat, dia sempat lagi cuai ba. Last2 sia sudah bosan tunggu dan lepas sampai 1 bulan, tiba2 DHL lagi yang datang. Sepa nda marah? Jangan cakap RM30, RM10 pun sia akan berkira tu masa. Sebab terlampau banyak sudah cost keluar on my side. My time yang paling2 berharga sekali and all this kelewatan as if itu salesman making fun of my time ba. Masa tu sia betul2 marah so mimang nasib itu clerk DHL la sebab kena deal dengan sia. “You know I already paid a few hundreds untuk itu barang begitu kecil and now you still ask me RM30? What’s with DHL ah? Why only you guys yang ada charge macam ni? Kalau cepat nda apa. Ini lambat sikit, delay sudah esok. You know that I have experiences with macam2 courier, none of them yang charged me more once itu barang sampai because we have priorly paid for the shipping charge ba.” Itu clerk pun tidak tau jawab sebab mimang what I said was true. Dorang pun tidak paham why company dorang charge lagi. Even masa the DHL delivery man hantar tu barang pun, he sendiri cakap yang “Mimang ni DHL mahal ba, ada caj tambahan lagi.” Okay, I’m sorry to the DHL people. Bukan salah dorang. So sepa lagi sia marah? Itu salesman la!! Hahahaahahahahahahahaha. Dia pun akun silap dia. “We will compensate you for the extra charge you paid DHL.” Itu masa sia bosan sama itu “make-up words” sebab teda guna ba mau cakap mau compensate la apa la, all the cost and damage is done ba. Awal2 tidak mau pikir, lepas tu mau compensate kunun. And inda cukup sama itu, kali tinguk...sama juga tu item tidak solve itu problem equipment sia. Kalau sia tidak sabar, lama sudah sia sengaja2 terjun bangunan ba, korang paham ka?

(Okay, let’s laugh. Hahahaahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaahahaha)

Okay, I was kidding.

Sia sedar sometimes I was being too much juga. Tapi sia tidak pernah terpikir itu perkataan Customers Always Right, sebab mimang tidak betul pun. Ada masa sia buat silap juga. Tangan sia ni pun tangan pemusnah ba. Sometimes barang yang sia pegang cepat rosak. *Lols. So sudah tau tu tangan cuai, nda kan mau salahkan itu manufacturer saja kan? Sia cuba pikir balik2 adakah I was not being rational by reacting that way, tapi I think that I had no other way to handle it. Ada masa sia diam, sia diam. Tapi kalau benda macam gitu, apa guna laaa sia ni jadi org yang boleh bercakap when bila ada benda yang sia betul2 perlu bercakap, sia diam pula. Itu salesman, Mr Daniel – is a very nice guy ba tu. Kalau dia tidak nice kan, dia tidak akan dapat handle customer macam sia. Dia respond sia baik2, apa soalan sia semua dia jawab. Tapi if he screwed up during a deal, I just exercise my right. I MUST SPEAK kalau ada yang nda kena. Apa pun, apa yang sia nda puas hati, sia kasi keluar satu kali, and then buka buku baru. Dorang ni sangat professional punya org ba tu. Dorang betul2 trained untuk buat customer service. Maybe if dorang can handle me, they can handle anybody. *Lols. Now that’s a big favour from me *big grinz. Hahahaahahahahahahahaha. Tapi after that kejadian, I never argue like that anymore. The supplier that I deal with the most now, know that it’s so easy to make deals with me. I don’t tawar menawar berpanjang-panjangan and make it difficult untuk orang lain. If I want to buy something, I tell a condition – like, “I want this to arrive tomorrow” and if semua okay, I made the payment and expected them to deliver. Some of the companies kan, are still so nice o. If you beli something from them, dorang tidak charge pun shipping. Benda2 free mcm nda wujud sudah ba di zaman ni, but rupanya masih wujud.

So, ini semua part of life experience ba ni. Biar la kadang2 geram la, marah la --- yang negative tu jgn dikasi panjang. Mimang dalam hidup sehari-harian tu, jangan lupa kita ni manusia yang banyak kelemahan. Bukan kita saja betul, dan bukan juga kita saja salah. Teda satu words yang betul2 boleh describe apa2 hal pun dalam dunia ni – nothing is sure except for life and death saja ba. So speaking of Customers Always Right, itu line mungkin berguna untuk put customer punya kemahuan yang paling atas sebab without them, manada business yang jalan. Jadi itu satu cabaran untuk ni org business untuk buat the best supaya customer teda ruang untuk mau buat hal, sebab dorang pun mcm kita, org yang banyak kelemahan. Jangan sampai ada ruang untuk masing2 kasi keluar tu kelemahan. Trust me, mimang business buli dibuat secara aman damai ba. Nda payah ba ni gaduh2 ni. Teda sepa yang untung. Yang penting, persetujuan dicapai and everything else, masing2 buat part masing2. You pay, they deliver the service.

Bah, untuk semua customer2 di luar sana, berbelanja la secara berhemah. Kalau buat permintaan atau tawar menawar, jangan la ba melampau sangat. Kena rasional sikit la juga. Teda tenaga atau masa yang percuma ba unless tuan punya tenaga dan masa tu yang decide so. Kau sebagai another individual actually teda hak sama masa dan tenaga kepunyaan org lain ba, apa lagi kalau benda tu adalah untuk keperluan kau sendiri. And to org2 yang buat business tu, especially yang buat direct selling or anything, ya la, sometimes you guys are so ambitious, mau make money and then capai target tertentu. Etika berjual beli tu kena ada juga ba. Jangan la sampai paksa2 pula. Kan itu duit dorang. Dorang tau la ba kemahuan dan kemampuan dorang sendiri. Sia pernah tu geram betul sama ni promoter satu brand di satu supermarket. Sudah la sia beli tu pencuci muka, dia paksa lagi sia beli tu syampu. Dekat mau menangis sudah muka dia ba mau paksa sia tu masa. *Lols. Wooo...punyalah sia geram tu masa. Melampau ba. Mentang2 la masa tu sia masih student, so pikir buli la pok2 mau bully. Sia ALMOST cakap macam ni...Ok la, sia beli tu syampu, but kau yang bayar, ok?” Sebab, let’s say itu shampu harga RM10, sia punya duit ada RM5 ja, sia buli bayar ka? Jadi why dia mau paksa2 sia sedangkan sia yang terpaksa mau bimbang sama ada sia cukup duit ka nda mau beli tu benda. Lain kali, kalau mau paksa2 org beli pasal “ini barang bagus ba” then you pay la, nanti sia pakai and find out betul ka tidak tu barang bagus. Apa macam? *wink wink.


Bah...ni hal Customers Always Right kira sudah settle di sini la.Actually, sia sudah tulis about one nice topic ba semalam, but nda lagi tersave masuk pen drive. So sia spontaneous saja tulis ni benda sambung kemarin punya. It’s good juga la at least sia being fair sebab sia sudah bercakap untuk mewakili dua2 pihak. Harap ada something good to gain la from the posts kan.

Wishing everyone a nice day today ya :)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Customers Always Right?

Wooo...customers punya cerita tidak habis2 ni. Kes I almost berperang mulut sama this one customer last year, masih lagi sia ingat sampai sekarang. You think it’s cool la to argue with customers? Gara2 benda yang berlaku tahun lalu tu, I learnt my lesson. Walaupun sia tau tu customer ada silap, sia pun ada silap juga. Sia ni org byk kelemahan ba, so inda susah mau cari di mana silap sia. Yez people. Sia pun berabis-abisan mau menyalahkan diri sia sendiri ba this. Sia bukan juga sengaja2 mau cari pasal sama customers sia yang nda buat salah. So pengalaman lalu sudah kasi sia lesson supaya jangan buat the same mistake. Jangan sampai customer buli cari silap sia lagi ba, sebab sia tanggung itu blame. Tapi kalau sia sudah careful enough dan benda ni jadi lagi, sorry, I’m not a tunggul. Sia ni percaya pada satu benda, iaitu – Semua human being ada right kena respect as much as they are willing to respect others. Sia paduli apa kau customers ka, apa ka, cuma pangkat dan kerusi yang sia duduk ni saja yang mungkin membezakan kita dan situasi ni. 
Okay, yesterday, ni benda jadi lagi. Sia sudah kasi tinguk tu sample. Sia suruh check betul2. Itu customer cakap OK semua. So sia pun on saja la. Satu kali barang sudah siap, dia suruh staff dia send balik, cakap ada silap. Woo, sepa tidak panas oh? Dia sendiri tidak berani send itu barang balik, sampai suruh staff dia. Sia sudah suruh check betul2, tapi she took it for granted. Now kesilapan sudah terjadi, jadi sia kena take the blame? Gila punya kerja!! Jangan guna itu title Customer mau show us who’s the boss here? Itu “Customers Always Right” pun bertempat juga ba tu. Jangan kau suka2 saja buat mistake macam tu and present to me Customers Always Right. Haiyaaa!! I’m tempted to curse ba sekarang ni!! *Lols. 

This is not just pembaziran material ba. Ini benda, kalau sia tidak cakap apa2, sampai bila2 la you can never be a customer yang berhemah ba. Sampai bila you want jadi customer yang buat keputusan sewenang-wenangnya and then shift the blame sama kami? Itu mistake kemarin punya tu mimang sia confirm bukan silap sia. Kalau sudah itu customer cakap semua okay, apa lagi sia mau buat? Should be semua okay kan? Dan the error punya prove pun sia masih ada simpan ba. The record yang she did on the paper, and then plus dia punya approval lepas nampak itu sample – woooo...what’s left to blame me, man?? 

Just now pun satu hal juga. Ada this man and his son – telling me his needs to get something done. Okay, then I made the calculation and gave him the quotation. “Mahal juga?” the father said. Then I explained why charge dia begitu. Actually, itu benda yang dorang minta tu, sia sudah tolak ba sebab I don’t think I have the right equipment untuk produce the best result untuk tu benda. But he insisted. Sebab lain2 tempat sudah reject itu kerja ba. It’s good that sia capable of doing the work, but with some limitation la. So sia sudah bagitau dorang tu semua. Sia tidak tamaha itu kerja punya. Kalau sia nda dapat pun it’s ok with me. Sia cakap free2 ja kasi suggestion sama dorang what’s best for their tight budget. “Overbudget sudah ni kalau kau charge macam tu,” the father said again la. If ikut budget dorang, my price kena cut more than 3 times ba, imagine la. It’s okay, itu hak dorang untuk minta price yang cheapest. That’s fine with me. Exercise your right la. Tapi setakat sana saja itu right dia. Kau teda right untuk push sia ikut your budget. You definitely try to make me laugh la mangkali. If you cannot agree with my price, and I’m not desperate to take the job and refuse to reduce my price, I will let you exercise your Customers Always Right, man. Ini tidak. Berabis dia lecture sia balik!!! *Lols. Dia cakap, sepatutnya kau jangan charge begini2 ba.. sebab begitu2...bla bla bla bla... Tidak apa, sia terima juga. Tapi satu hal la. It’s not because you have a tight budget, sia kena kerat my own leher untuk ikut your budget, betul ka tidak? 

(Hahahaahahahaahahahahahahahahhaahhaha. Sia imagine my readers semua duduk jauh2 sudah dari sia takut sia mengamuk. Hahahahaahahahahahaha) 

No ba guys... I am a very very reasonable punya orang. Selalu kan, sia bagi free consultancy lagi sama customers sia, macamana dorang mau save duit dengan budget yang ada. Sia bukan jenis yang berani mati punya hanya untuk dapat business sedangkan customers rasa macam kena cekik darah. (Wujudkan perlakuan mencekik darah? Teda ba kan? *Lols). Sia suggest dorang lain2 tempat yang ble kasi dorang harga paling rendah punya ikut apa yang sia tau, sebab sia pun pernah jadi dorang. Sia sudah besa trying to follow a tight budget untuk hasil yang nampak mahal dan berkualiti. I’ve been there, ok? So, it’s not all about business and money ba ni. It’s tolong sesama manusia. But if it involves materials, services and skills, korang buli cuba nasihat untuk dorang kasi reduce itu service charge tapi korang tidak buli harap dorang akan terima bulat2 itu cadangan korang. I tell you guys something la ah. You guys, semua customers yang berhemah dan berpendidikan ni...pikir ikut logik saja. Selagi korang teda itu masa, kemahiran, peralatan dan lain2 hal yang membolehkan kamu guna tangan kamu sendiri untuk buat sesuatu keperluan kamu, kamu TIDAK BOLEH demand harga yang seolah-olah kamu buat tu benda guna tangan sendiri. Sebab the only way it can happen is that, KAMU BUAT SENDIRI. True. Sia tahan hati saja sama mereka2 yang tidak paham concept. Masih nda paham? Ok, mari sia kasi paham. 

Ingat dalam article sia dalam blog ni yang bertajuk, And Your Budget Is RM1?” Haa, ini pun satu kes. Nasib yg in charge tu kawan rapat sia, so sia banyak tolerate sama dia. Tahun sebelumnya, dorang yang buat sendiri tu benda dengan budget yang sama. Dorang tau macamana susahnya dorang follow itu budget. Dorang buang byk minyak kereta, peluh lagi, belanja tambahan lagi --- semua tu entah berapa puluh dorang habis. But itu kos dorang mana kira. Yang penting itu barang cukup2 la RM1 untuk satu. Dorang tau betapa susahnya untuk ke hulu ke hilir mau survey price yg paling murah. Sia masih ingat lagi sebab sia pun ada suggest dorang how to maximize itu budget. Ahaa... then the year after, dorang decided dorang teda masa untuk lalui itu process sekali lagi. Tapi budget dorang sama. So ini kali, mau nda mau, terpaksa minta tulung sia. Dorang rasa senang la tidak payah keluar peluh dan lain2 kos berbangkit. Tinggal kasitau tarikh ambil saja! How easy is that? Tapi, permintaan dorang bukan main tinggi. Mentang2 suruh orang yang buat, dorang minta yang bukan2. Geli hati sia, sampai nda berkelip ba mata sia tinguk tu perangai dorang tu masa. Demand bukan main lagi. Buli2 sia sendiri lupa yang dorang punya budget cuma RM1???? Abis demanding dorang sia pikir paling2 pun RM5 ba tu sorang. Adoiiiiii....sudah2 la tu!!! *Lols. Ini benda sudah berlalu, so sia buli ketawa saja. Itu masa sia geram tu sebenarnya. But tidak apa. Kawan punya pasal, sia tidak kasi panjang cerita. Sia punya style senang sikit. “Bagus kamu try cari org lain untuk buat la, ok.” Habis cerita. Atau, my sindiran paling pedas punya, “Ha! Macam ni la. If u guys buat sendiri, confirm ikut budget ni. Maybe ada lebih lagi sikit!” Yesss guys, you get my point. Mau paling murah, BUAT SENDIRI!!! 

Aiks, betul ba tu sia cakap. Tapi if BUAT SENDIRI is not an option for you, kena be reasonable sama cost yang you guys kena bear. Mimang macam tu. Doiii, sia tidak pecaya la if u guys tidak tau ni benda. Be rational sama perkiraan ni. Yang paling bikin ketawa, ada org ni kan, dorang set budget yang TERLAMPAU tidak munasabah! If buat pakai tangan sendiri pun belum tentu buli ikut itu budget ba! Ini mcm kes yang tadi la tu. Then I do my part, I cakap baik2 sudah. If you think my kemahiran tiada price, try find somewhere la sebab I know value my own kerja. Yes, ada benda2 yang sia buat secara percuma. Like, I can make slideshows yang cost me berjam-jam untuk buat, tapi sia buat secara free walaupun it could cost maybe a few hundreds la. Then what? Not just because I do something for fun and for free, people can come to me and demand the same work to be done for them, for free. Or paling2 pun... alaa... caj pun sikit2 la. No way. *Lols. Sia mau buat tu benda sendiri dan org suruh sia buat tu benda, 2 benda yang berbeza ba. Don’t make me laugh, ok? Hahahaahahahahaahahaha. 

The last time my friends come to me and say, Actually you are charging very cheap ba ni. Hey! That hurt me! Buli2 korang cakap sia charge very cheap, you guys know ka baru tadi sia kana lecture oleh ni customer tentang macamana sia harus put the pricing? Hahahaahahhaahahahahahahaahaha. 

Again, Customers Always Right? You know what my answer already. Heheheheheh :P 

Note: Okay, I’m being fair. Maybe I should also write a post when I myself in the position who demands that Customers Always Right. Ya, don’t forget. I’m a customer too. Maybe some other post ok guys. Muahsss.

The Cost Of Superficial Beauty

Beberapa hari yang lalu, ada this old customer datang and cerita2 pasal product MLM dorang. This time, agen Elken pula. Siap bawa sample lagi. Kalau jumpa sama potential customer yang perempuan, apa lagi kalau bukan product kecantikan. I actually dislike ba ni salespeople yang datang wasting my time mau dengar benda2 yang teda penghujung ni. But since dorang ni customer sia juga, mau cakap pun susah, nda cakap pun susah. Tapi luckily sia jenis yang tau cakap NO. Unlike my sister, last month, my uncle’s wife datang rumah, jual this 1 piece langsir yang quite extravagant la juga, but price pun bukan jua alang2, RM390 for 1 piece langsir, masuk book ka? Ready made lagi tu. She couldn’t say no. Main beli saja cos kesian tinguk my auntie tu susah2 datang. Tapi so far, I’m not like that. Membeli pun ada etika juga tu geng. So back to itu customer, she left a few catalogs and testimony la berkaitan product Elken. Sepa nda kenal ba itu Elken kan. Harga mahal tapi kira ada kelas tersendiri la. Dorang actually introduce tu baju lingerie yang buat shaping badan tu ba. Yang kurus pun ble pakai sebab dia kasi shape itu badan. Breast, pinggang, punggung…all over la dia kasi shape. Kalau baca itu testimony satu buku, nampak la tu badan2 mcm2 perempuan yang semuanya bentuk hourglass, semua sebab makan/guna tu product Elken. Actually, I always go for logics first. If I can think of how the shaping lingerie (lupa tu nama satu set pakaian tu) can work on the body, that’s enough. But to buy the product is another thing. I’m not obsessed with benda2 mcm tu.

Itu beberapa hari yang lalu. But tadi, datang pula an auntie (also an old customer – dia ni agen DXN pula), and when she saw the catalogs ampai2 di meja sia, so dia tinguk la. Dia cakap mcm ni, “Biar la sia gumuk mcm ni, biar la ni breast sia kendur, itu Tuhan yang kasi bah. Apa lagi susah2 mau suntik sana sini, last2 ada risiko cancer. Mau kasi tinggi hidung la, mau kasi hilang kedut la. Macam2 betul ba sekarang ni. Banyak yg kena cancer pasal kesan sampingan. Biar saja la ba macam ni. Apa lagi mau ubah2 yang kana kasi,” said the auntie. “Yang penting, itu dalaman sihat ba. Kalau luar saja cantik tapi di dalam, darah kotor la, byk toksik la, apa juga guna?” she added. Mimang betul la ba kan. Mungkin dalam diam dia mau lecture sia kali ba that. Hahahahahaha. Maybe dia pikir sia mau beli kali tu. Manada sia mau beli. Told ya I’m not obsessed with barang macam tu. Sempat lagi dia cakap, “Kau nda sudah payah pakai ba tu. Ngam2 sudah ba tu badan kau tu. Lelaki mana suka ba kalau kurus. Dorang suka yang ada isi2.” Apa pun, the point is, apa lelaki suka tu, sia malas la mau pikir. Bagus lagi sia pikir apa yang sia suka. At least confirm lagi. Ini sia main teka2 ja apa lelaki suka, lain org lain lagi kesukaan dorang. Inda berkesudahan tu.

Actually, product2 kecantikan yang macam cendawan tumbuh ni, satu bukti kemajuan ba ni. Manusia stops at nothing. They want to improve, makes life more effective and hidup lebih bermakna. Human beings WANT to be IN CONTROL. Bagi sia, ini semua satu bentuk kemajuan dan kemodenan. I have no problem with that. Sekarang ni, nose job, breast implant…you name it. Semua ada baa. Mau tau duit saja. Nose job la yang paling common. Orang tidak malu sudah. Inda sudah dorang peduli apa org cakap. Ada this auntie sia sorang, she buat nose job. Sudahla hidung dia ngam2 sudah, dia kasi tambah tu silikon, so tinggi la. Ganjil betul ba sebab tu kulit mcm kena tarik sebab itu surface hidung dia sudah bertambah. Bila dia limpas, mesti org tinguk dan rasa mau ketawa. But she buat dono ja. Yang penting hati dia gembira. Waste beberapa ratus untuk dapat satu hidung yang u only dream of having. Asal dia puas hati la ba kan. Sia ambil approach yang neutral ba ni. Sia rasa itu hak individual. Biar la dorang. Muka dorang, badan dorang, duit dorang. Kita bising buat apa? Yang bising tu pun maybe pasal nda cukup duit ja tu. Cuba kalau ada duit? Mesti korang mau cuba oso that. Apa la dorang guna cari duit penat2 bila dorang nda ble buat apa dorang suka. Dorang mau nampak lagi cantik, biar la ba dorang.

Tapi mimang betul la, perempuan ni semakin meningkat usia, semakin dorang berani mencuba. Dorang mau kekalkan dorang punya kecantikan dan keremajaan. Tidak hairan la kalau perempuan sekarang ni, semakin matang usia dia, semakin pula cantik. Sebab banyak product2 di luar sana yang actually improve dorang punya penampilan. Bagi sia, benda tu semua tidak salah pun. Hidup cuma sekali. Biar la orang buat apa dorang mau buat sama diri dorang. Cuma dalam proses tu, kena pandai juga la. Jangan terlalu obsess sama benda2 mcm tu. Banyak sudah kita dengar dan lihat sendiri akibat buruk yang menimpa mereka2 yang suka mencuba ni. Yang paling senang kita nampak, kulit muka terbakar. Kebetulan yang agen Elken tu pun, kulit muka dia macam tu. So mimang if dia mau promote product kecantikan, ada susah sikit la sebab dia tidak dapat prove. Dia cakap kulit muka dia macam tu sebab guna tu product kecantikan yang murah – tapi kalau adik dia yang pakai, cantik pula. So lain2 effect sama lain2 individual. So untuk org mcm sia yang tidak begitu suka mencuba, sia lebih suka beli what’s on the shelves, jenama yang biasa dengar sebab biasanya tu benda semua sudah kena test, ramai org guna dan kalau ada kesan sampingan, most likely bukan kau pertama yang kena. Tapi manusia ni pelik, sudah pun ok, mau lagi yang lagi ok. Macam mau lagi yang result lagi hebat dari apa yang ada. Tukar punya tukar, duit habis, kesannya teda juga. Last2, balik lagi pegi product yang syukur2 la nampak kesan tu.

Antara benda ridiculous yang perempuan buat adalah breast enlargement. Walaupun I’m NOT against ni semua, tapi sia rasa terlalu leceh la mau enlarge itu breast. Pakai saja la push-up bras untuk improve the size punya penampilan. Bukan apa, sampai tahap itu kulit mau kana kasi kuyak lagi, just to insert something yang not supposed to be there – okay, let’s not talk about side effect, but benda tu semua menyakitkan dan leceh ba. Mimang so so tiring la if mau pikir tu semua, kan? Don’t you just wish you guys just gembira ja ka dengan apa yang ada? Byk benda2 we can do to improve penampilan. Make-ups, hairdo, nice clothes --- kebersihan, dan yang paling penting sekali, kesihatan. Dan apa pun, above all this, adalah KESELESAAN untuk jadi diri sendiri. Apa la guna kalau setakat mau nampak cantik, tapi dalam diri kita ni umpama ombak lautan yang tidak tenang dan selalu bergelora sama macam2 conflict yang kita sendiri pun tidak buli handle. Paling senang cakap, hati biar gembira la ba kan.

Untuk kawan2 semua, I think that, to look beautiful adalah hak masing2. Apa sia cakap pun teda guna juga sebab u guys akan ikut hati sendiri juga. So if you guys terlalu obsess dengan superficial beauty – sometimes you guys sendiri pun tau benda tu tidak baik dan menyusahkan, tapi mimang lumrah manusia macam ni. Bila dorang mau, dorang kena juga buat supaya puas hati. If ada kesan2 buruk di kemudian hari tu, they want to find out dengan mata kepala sendiri- so at the end of the day, benda ni semua adalah satu proses pengalaman yang pembelajaran. Biar la manusia yang berkemahuan dan berkemampuan, buat apa yang dorang mau – cos they will learn from it juga should there be any negative consequences. Sebab until something happen depan mata dorang, nda kisah la apa org cakap, dorang tidak akan pecaya punya. Pandai2 la guna sendiri punya penilaian.

I just wish that everyone akan dapat apa yang dorang mau dari life ni, capai la kemahuan yang ada. Syaratnya cuma satu – jangan sampai menyusahkan orang lain, cukup la kan. Mau cantik, mau menarik, mau seksi – jangan sampai memudaratkan diri sendiri. Berpada-pada la dalam apa benda yang dibuat tu ok? *winks.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Pictures Don't Tell Everything...

First, excuse me Mr. Oxford, can I just make my own definition? Photogenic means that you can look good in pictures. Yes, even to the extent that you look much better in photograph then you are as a person! How about that?

I have a few friends who are photogenic. One way to tell is they look so pleasant in pictures. How? Get an album where you get to see a series of pictures, different shots, different poses, but one thing in common...they look so pleasantly well in those pics! Or a bit more explanation from my side, looking at them in the pictures, makes you think you’re looking at someone you don’t know yet. Because the pictures simply flash an attraction that you might not feel in your everyday’s encounter with them. Yeah, I would call that photogenic.

I have this one friend. She’s generally lovely. Tall, thin – the model material. I got to see her picture album and she looked even better in pictures. I couldn’t help but say, “She’s photogenic. She looks even better in pictures.” Yes, some people are really blessed, right? Also, I have found a lot of people are NOT photogenic. Hey, no kidding. Wait, speaking of photogenic, it has a lot to do with the camera, right? Wait, are you sure you can rely SO MUCH on cameras?

I love to take pictures. You can ask my friends. I am a person who always bring camera with me. You can say that because of that habit, I have something to gain. I have a lot of pictures my friends don’t. I have in my collection the pictures that recorded differet events and memories – and my friends don’t. That’s why they used to hunt me to get those pictures. Okay, all this just to explain to you that I deal a lot with cameras since schooldays. So, at least I am not totally anonymous to this subject of photography. I have taken a lot of pictures too, and I am the type who appreciate good pictures. So, I can at least tell you guys that some people look very different in pictures!! They can look so so good in front of me, and it’s only a snap away, I look inside the preview of the camera, man! They look so much different there. Looking different is not all, they don’t actually look as good as they really look in flesh!! Now you know I mean well when I say that pictures can be deceiving! Because it’s true! If people can look great in pictures, good!! Bravo for that! But what about when pictures don’t do the justice they deserve? No kidding. But in the contrary, some people look so stunning in pictures. My goodness, I should envy them or what? Who doesn’t want to look good, right?

One great example is this very cute little cousin of mine. She’s my favourite so far. Since she was a baby, I’ve been taking pictures of her. She’s just so adorable. Her mom doesn’t have a lot of the pictures I have. Whenever we took her to our home, whether I snap her pictures using my phone, or my camera. She looks sooo sooo cute in person. But that cuteness can’t transfer into pictures. I don’t know why!!! Seriously. People can’t feel how adorable she is in pictures alone. That is so not fair. That cuteness must be appreciated, right? *giggles. But the pictures can’t capture that cuteness. Well, she looks like some normal small girl in pictures. Where’s that charm? That charm that makes us want to squeeze her cheeks. Seriously. Those charms don’t transfer into pictures.

The good news are, we can’t rely that much on pictures. If you think you’re never looking good enough in pictures, guess what, you can rely entirely on your real charm. Something that you can’t fake no matter what. The charm that the camera can’t capture. I saw something like that, ok? So let’s not worry if you don’t produce good pictures. UNLESS you want to try your luck on Malaysian’s Next Top Cover Model – Ahaaa....maybe you have to feel sorry because you might not stand a chance. Remember Jon Johnson, the winner for American’s Next Top Male Model? He looks normal – but he becomes someone else during the photoshots. The charms come out shining. And this is to the extent that the judges could simply forgive him for being short, also his distracting teeth. Nahh...forget about them. What important is, we can now underestimate the accuracy of photographs. They might not tell the truth!!

I know what it feels to not be photogenic, because I am also not photogenic. I would sometimes prefer looking at myself 10 times more in the mirror, than in the pictures. Yup. I have to accept the fact that I am not photogenic. I think that people might do some mistake of trying to figure out what I’m like in person, just by looking at the pictures. I don’t want that to happen. I don’t really mind if people underestimate me when they look at my pictures, as long as I can at least be slightly better in person. As you can see, pictures are static. There are many things you cannot see in static things used to describe something dynamics and moving like human beings. Videos tell more truth than pictures. At least you see the movement, the 3 dimensional objects – so we will less likely got deceived by positioning and technicality. My goodness 256, who wants to know about all this??? Cut the crap, OK?? *Lols.

Let’s just be happy with who we really are la ba kan? Photogenic or not, biar laaa...malas la mau pikir. If yang nda photogenic mcm sia, senang jaa... make sure you use digicam, and start snapping as many times as you can afford to. Take 100 shots and confirm mesti ada 1 yang ok2 sikit tu. *Lols. Hahahahaahahahahahahahahaha.

Remember, pictures don’t tell everything!

Monday, March 23, 2009

People Call It Monday Blues...

It’s Monday again, right? And why it doesn’t feel that much different with me? Sundays and Mondays always look The Same to me for more than a year now. At least, I won’t have to deal with Monday Blues anymore, right? Hahahahahaha.

I have many things in mind to write about but I just can’t focus like always. Maybe because I have a project to finish so I thought I better get this over with. To stay motivated is sometimes a challenge, don’t you think so? Sometimes distractions get in the way. Like my sickness, really mess up with my fasting, energy, mood and others. Because I was too tired of dealing with all the runny and blocked nose, I don’t wait too long to get my life back. I have started drinking cold drinks again since 2 days ago, even though I’m not totally recovered. I was just tired of holding back many things over a fever. I’m tired of feeling lethargic and exhausted. I don’t want those excuses to slow down my time because the time is never slowing down actually. Time is still slipping so fast, whether or not I’m sick or sad. I just have to put a stop to this series of excuses. Life must go on and NO! It’s not just a common line. It’s in fact, very true. This life is too beautiful to waste. Let’s explore it to the max, and yez, not even Monday blues can get in the way!

My hormonal dilemma is starting to take over me again. My body is showing the signs of hormonal imbalance, again. And this even make it worse for me, because I get even lazier and the binge is getting worse. I hunt of all the sweet drinks and I recalled, eating my dinner for the past few days only made me want to throw up and, “Eurrgghh...take those foods away from my sight. I can’t even smell them now!” Yeah, but that doesn’t stop me from eating and craving for the other and the other foods that I have in mind.

I found another nice hot drink that I could try to replace my addiction for coffee, but I don’t think it’s gonna work in the long run. It’s cocoa flavoured Perl Cafe or whatever the spelling is. I lurvee the taste. The smell of cocoa and the nice flavour reminds me of the free chocolate flavourited milk back in primary school. I enjoy it hot and savour every sip but what happens is, AGAIN people, AGAIN...why don’t anybody remind me that anything cocoa is a sleeping pill to me? I don’t get to smile longer thinking that I have a subsitute for my coffee because maybe there just isn’t a substitute good enough to replace coffee. I can only think of switching from one coffee type to another, but still, it’s the family of coffee. How can I ever run away from coffee? Suddenly I remember my friend said to me, “Too much coffee will kill ya!!” She was amazed to learn that I drank up to 3 packets of instant coffee a day back in university – and the worse part is, I bragged about it. *Lols. My goodness, I just realize how much I enjoy coffee. Hellloooo? I might be coffee addict, but I don’t do alcohol and my friends do. Who is in the better position to advice, it’s them, or me? Or if none of us fit to give advice, then don’t make me feel like an evil sister just because I drink coffee every morning? Excuse me?

Actually, my body is not 100% now. It’s aching all over. My fingers are overworked. One of my fingers “cried out” last nite. It gave a little pain at the joint – Oh well, now what? Are you going to demonstrate too? Want some extra pay, huh? *Lols. My goodness, my dear fingers. It’s your job to do all the work for me, right? You guys can’t complain, you’re my fingers, remember? (Hahahahahaahahahahahahahahaah). Why don’t I long for a sleeping day? I mean, can I at least think about my bed in this hour so that I can do something to entertain little desire? The thing is, there’s no other place I prefer to be. You can force me to be at home right now I can’t breath being at home when it’s not nite. It’s AT WORK that I want to be. So why am I here writing all this and not reaching at a damn point that at least make sense? *Lols.

Okay, this is what I’m going to do. I’m going to go through this day with a warm heart. My cup of coffee is almost finished so if I claim coffee helps me to focus, why I still complain about “being lost” of what to do? Oh my, I can’t carry on writing more of this and drag you guys in your own version of confusion because it’s totally not fair because I’m sure, most of you are having Monday Blues, something that I don’t have to deal with. But it’s for the funniest reason.

I don’t have weekends. That’s why. Hahahaahahahahahahahahahaha.

It’s actually lucky enough if I don’t forget it’s Monday.

You guys have a lovely day today. Smile the loveliest smile...Yea Now! *giggles.

Muahsss all.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

When The Words Hurt...

One of my closefriends lost her dad last year. When she sms-ed me about that, I was shocked. I got to meet them during an event a few months before that and the father looked healthy to me. I took my time to write the sms to reply her back. I was careful in what I typed. I must type the right words because I could feel how sad she was that time. I reread the sms a few times before I sent. I definitely did the right thing.

But one of our closefriends did not do that. Maybe when she got the news, she was in the middle of something so she rushed herself to write and ended up writing something that hurt my sad friend. I didn’t know about this story until a few months after. That ignorant friend went to meet me and we hung out like always. That was when the story popped out. She said that the friend (who lost her dad) never replied her sms or even answered her call since the demise of her father. I was surprised myself because that friend frequently sms-ed me. So I didn’t make any speculation. I just told that friend of mine that “She must be very sad so she doesn’t have much to say for now.” My ignorant friend agreed with my suggestion. One sad heart is bad enough to me. It’s better that she doesn’t know for now. Even if she’s gonna learn about it soon, I don’t want to be the person who tells her.

Not long after that, I got to sms that sad friend of mine and she finally explained to me everything why she never answered sms or call from that ignorant friend. She was deeply hurt because that friend of ours replied her sms (about her dad) like it was some unimportant everyday thing – Her sms sounds something like, “Oh ok. You take care okay.” Yeah, it doesn’t sound so bad, but at least show some grief or emotions. I get what my friend meant. What made it even worse, that ignorant friend sms-ed her again days after, “If you are free to hang out, just give sms or call me.” –And that was during the funeral day of her dad!

I pity that ignorant friend of ours because until now, she doesn’t know the damage that she has done. This is serious to the grieving friend because I still remember she said, “I still can’t forgive her.” I have tried to tell her that maybe she shouldn’t think so much about that, especially when the ignorant friend doesn’t even know that she did something wrong. I even told her one incident back in university, which also involved that ignorant friend. I remember that I lost my wallet (not sure whether I dropped it or someone snatched it) but I remember feeling so sad that time. Especially because I lost my IC. So I remember meeting 2 of goodfriends at the library, and I wanted to share my grief – so I told them that I just lost my wallet and I was feeling so down. That ignorant friend really didn’t know how to react. Instead of giving that sympathetic looks, she reacted as if she just heard some good news. She gave that shocked look and then laughed in joy. I mean, even if she thought it was funny of me to be so careless, it’s still NOT the way to express it just so I could learn something. No, it’s totally not the way to react. It was the moment that I realize that something like this is a “thorn” in a friendship. We thought that our closefriends who have been through sadness and joys for years, would at least be compassionate and be a listening ear to lighten your troubled heart, but come to think about it, maybe we expect too much from a friendship. I told that to my sad friend so that she would at least find a way to forgive the ignorant friend. Maybe “she’s just like that. Maybe she didn’t know how to express herself. Let’s not forget that she has lost her mom too much earlier so maybe she looked at this differently.” I was trying to talk my grieving friend down so that she won’t look at it worse than it already is.

I realize that my two closefriends were having “cold war” without the knowledge of one of them. This is still ongoing. I never open my mouth. I don’t want to make things worse because I know, none of them are bad. One of them made a mistake and the other one was hurt. Our friendship of many years is still more important than that small dissatisfaction. I tell myself, “This will pass for sure.” I love both of them. Although the ignorant friend did a few silly mistakes like that in the past, I have forgiven her entirely. Yeah, isn’t this essential to friendships? We can’t live by counting all the mistakes and make sure our friends pay for their own mistakes before you can forgive and forget. Is that the way to go? No, right? Even if you remember that your closefriends borrowed some money from you back in college and never paid, do you want to bring up the small matter and say, “Hey, where’s my RM20? You guys don’t remember ka you borrowed my money to pay the photocopied notes. Now that each of you has a job already, better pay up now. Bikin malu saja RM20 pun tidak buli bayar ka.” (Hahahaahahahahahahahaahha. More likely it’s me who should feel ashamed because I bring up about RM20 after years. Haiyaaa...kasi halal saja la ba kan?)

Actually, we have many rude things to say to our friends. The more times we spend with them, the more issues we can talk about. It’s just the matter of putting the friendship first. So in the sensitive case like my friend who lost someone she loved, the rest of us must know how to say the right words so that she won’t feel hurt. Although she knows that we might only try to sound that we care, but at least it makes her feel good inside. As a matter of fact, speaking for myself, I really do care because she’s my friend and I know how much she loves her dad. I remember in the sms that I sent her, I mentioned that “I know you’re much stronger than I am. I’m sure you can go through this hard time. Remember that your dad is in a better place up there so just pray to God to look after him.” I remember she replied to be with the word Thanks. It might sound like nothing but I’m sure, some soothing words will be much appreciated by our dear friends during difficult times like that.

So, be careful of what you say especially during difficult times. It doesn’t hurt to just be compassionate and thoughtful. They don’t ask for money or anything. Moreover, we are speaking of A Dear Friend here, not just any stranger you meet on the street. Trust me, you won’t lose anything if you just say something nice.

True friend is so hard to find. A lot of people don’t even have anybody worthy enough to call A True Friend. If you can go through years – lived in the same house, waited the college bus together, even shared the same bed – can you still at least use these excuses to treat them a little nicer than you would do to normal friends?

Let’s not ruin a dear friendship because of our insensitivity. A friendship that stand the test of time is not easy to find. And speaking of Life being short, we might not have long enough to make new friends just to see if she can turns out to be “that friend” you can still call a friend on your last day. So, let’s not look far. Those who are they on your side after all the years – make these people the friends for life.

Say the right words to your friends, cos I’m sure you also want your friends to say the right words to you. :)


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