Monday, November 30, 2009

What The Little Things Can Do...

Hi my dear beloved readers. As you can see, I have changed the skin of my blog to a new one. Hehehe. I don’t know about others, but I can consider myself to be among those who change the skin of their blog frequent enough. Maybe it’s more than 10 skins that I have used so far. Actually, it’s only a little more than 1 year since I register this address. I only started telling my online friends in the chatroom about my blog address back in November 2008, although I registered it a month earlier. So now my babyblog is around for public for more than a year now! Happy Birthday my dear Babyblog!! *giggles. Anyway, if you guys feel “distracted” with the hot chicks in the background, please let me know. Also, I am sharing you guys the other side of me through the nice entertaining music. I want to let you guys know that although I often enjoy songs with good message, I also listen a lot to fast musics to cheer up my low mood and bring up my mood. I lurve dance music a lot. Music can do wonders too. It can lift your spirit high and bring back that jovial face. Trust me I know what I’m talking about.

Some people should have known how much I love this blog of mine. My blog is how I rest from work, my blog is how I can convey my mind, my blog is how I can produce my work, and it’s from my blog that I can share the funny things that happen daily.

You see, eventhough my blog is just a little something in this wide unlimited cyberworld, but to me, it’s as big as can be. As you can see, my readers are mostly anonymous. I don’t have that many compared to other blog. Most of these people who read my blog know nothing about me. My online networking is Very poor, cos I don’t participate in any social sites. Only recently that I publish my e-mail for this blog. The only way my online friends get to know me is from IRC chatroom, and I only join one chatroom!! Hahahaahahahaha. Thanks for reminding me that I am so NOT accessible! Erkss!

Mind you, NONE of my real life friends and families knows that I own this blog. So you know I can’t expect any kind of popularity around here. *giggles.

So considering all this, I think you guys can understand I CAN’T expect too much from all this. I can only be happy with what I can get from my online experience. I can only enjoy all this from how much satisfaction it can bring to me. Anything extra is A BONUS. I feel so touched when I have my readers to told me that this blog has given them something good. My dear readers told me that from reading my blog, their ideas are flowing too. That know what to say, how to answer and what to share with the people they meet in their encounter. They can find the words to express their views and opinions – and they said this blog has inspired them a lot. That’s why some of them who could catch me in the chatroom, told me that I should be thankful that I have “this gift”. I always told you guys that I know that my writings and ideas are the best I can produce as a human being. If you think they are still not good enough, then you know I only have that little to offer. What matters is, I’m thankful to God for this blessing regardless how much people think it is. To me, any gifts from God are never small.

Other than that, I also have friends who actually learn so much from the words and expressions that I often use in this blog. They start to adapt English words in their daily conversation, imitating my words and lines – which I think is something very sweet. I remember when my bro Ulal types me an SMS in English, something that he NEVER did before. I said, Omigawd…it sounds so good that you finally use English oo…heheheehehe. He said, “Those are all your words in the blog bah!” Hahahahaahahahah…Duii giaaaa….Considering that I don’t usually use the best clinical English words – because I’m just catching up with my pouring ideas as my fingers dance on the keyboard, but I think my readers don’t come here to judge my English. They come here to see “what’s next” from me. And also, maybe they can relate my simple and casual English to use in conversation so the next thing they know, they are using it with confidence! Isn’t it cool?? (*giggles).

If you remember one of my older posts, I spoke about this too. In the post, I told you guys that my friends, who were staying in the same dorm with me during my college years, actually memorized the words that I often used…and I felt so bad that they used it in the exam paper. They said, they got really blank while answering the English paper so luckily they remembered the expression that I often used so they picked the answer according to “[256] used to say this” Ouch! I felt bad because they caught the wrong words. I could only say, “Sorry guys, those words are not right in grammar. I’m sorryyyy…I didn’t know you guys memorize the words that used in conversation.” So now you know when I say that you never know in what ways you gonna influence people. Sometimes they take example from you in most ridiculous way you can imagine. Hehehehehehehe. So it’s actually a call to be more alert of what you say and do. It’s a good thing if they follow you because they have somekind of respect for you, but you must take that as a responsibility to make them take the good things.

Here I am, guys. I don’t know for how long we are going to be this good and nice, so it’s important to APPRECIATE what we have in hands now. Don’t talk about tomorrow’s dream or possibilities yet, cos NOW is what we surely have in our hands. I use this concept for quite a while now. This can help me through this life because we often appreciate things after they are gone. NO! Not anymore. We WILL appreciate things when they are still here with us. Let us all do that, okay?

We never know the little things we do can go a long way :) Do you take this as a challenge or responsibility to start “a good culture” among the people that get inspired by you? I don’t know about you, but maybe this is actually what “carrying out our mission in this world” is all about. You’ll know what I’m talking about. Your time will come. *giggles.

Happy Monday all, have fun and have a nice day, ok?

God Bless Everyone!

NOTE: To All My Loyal Readers, I LOVE YOU all!! Hehehehehehehehe

P/S: 256 <-- susah mau cakap I Love You ni urg ni…pls appreciate ahh… Hahahahahaha.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

"…But Do You Know What The Millionaires Are Looking For?"

I watched this Oprah show not long before. It made me laughed.

This episode discussed about “What the women look for in a man”, something like that la. So ada this lady, maybe represents the women out there yang belum jumpa Mr Right dia. The problem could be, Why dia belum jumpa lelaki idaman dia? So kes dia ni dijadikan study case.

So they asked her apa criteria lelaki idaman dia? My Gawdd… Punyalah high taste tu perempuan. Betul2 menggelikan hati. Benda2 macam tu we only speak when kita masih budak2 yang tidak tau banyak benda. Even benda2 yang kecil2 pun dia put dalam criteria dia. It’s like, combination of permintaan cliché perempuan2 di dunia ni. Semua sifat2 baik yang ada pada lelaki yg serba serbinya baik, dan menyayangi dan berkerjaya. Boleh dikatakan, perempuan ni betul2 inginkan seorang lelaki yg SEMPURNA, teda sikit pun cacat celahnya. Dia mau yg handsome, baik, penyayang, bertanggungjawab dan… tidak cukup dengan permintaan tu semua, dia mention lagi yg dia mau itu lelaki ada MILIIONAIRE… Maksudnya, sudahlah perangai teda cacat celahnya, muka pun serba serbi kacak belaka, still, SHE WANTS A MILLIONAIRE, guys…

I must take this moment to layan my ketawa kejap.


Doiiii?? Dia buat lawak ka apa ohh? Sukar mau dipercaya yang ada perempuan yg ada citarasa begitu tinggi. I wonder di mana dia hidup all this while. Sure ka dia hidup di bumi ni juga? Hehehehehehehe. Cos untuk seorang perempuan dewasa, sepatutnya hidup sudah ajar dia bahawa KESEMPURNAAN itu tidak wujud baaa… Doiiiii. Matai laaaaa… *Lols. (256 <-- confirm tekejut tahap gaban ni urg ni. *Lols)

So the guest speaker masa tu, who is a famous author (not famous enough for me to remember his name laa…heheheeheh :P). Lepas ja dia dengar apa perempuan tu mau, dia cakap ni…

“That would be, The Lord.”

All the audience ketawa. Memang pun lawak gila. Memang pun God saja yang begitu sempurna ba. Then dia tanya soalan ni balik, “But do you know what the millionaires are looking for?”

Hahahaahahahahahahahaaha. Kalau sia jadi tu perempuan, sia rasa sia akan feel embarrassed. Bukanlah berniat untuk make the woman feel bad, yang seolah-olah permintaan terlampau tinggi, tapi adakah dia pernah pikir sama ada dia tu actually LAYAK untuk lelaki yg sebegitu sempurna?

Looking at the lady. She’s in fact very average overweight black American woman. I mean, speaking of PERFECTION… What does she expect a rich handsome guy would want in a lady? So…maybe she has to be realistic too. But this NOT to say yang dia physically tidak layak untuk tu, but permintaan dia tidak logic ba. Biasa la cara orang respond to this…I think supermodel like Amber Chia pun tidak minta yg lebih2 macam tu.

Actually, I felt a bit odd pula. Maybe a little upset too. If ramai perempuan macam tu, ladies…MEMANG TIADA baaa lelaki macam tu. Hehehehe. If ada pun, mesti dia kaki perempuan, tidak pegi sembayang and lain2 hal. At the end of the day, you have to adjust your requirement. Semuanya happen di hati ba tu. Tidak payah pikir banyak2. Ini semua tidak boleh pakai tuu. Kau minta macam2, tapi hati kau terpikat pula dengan orang yg keluar dari criteria tu. Nahh, masa tu baru kamu tau yang mau set standard dan criteria ni semua, just a waste of time bah :)

One more thing, just to make it more fun la kunun. Inda kisah la macamana outcome dia. But ADILKAH kalau sia cakap, sia mau lelaki sebaik yang sia mampu untuk become? If sia mau dia religious, sia pun kena religious juga ba kan? If sia mau my guy to be loyal, sia pun first kena ada that quality kan? Nahh, macam ni baru ngam. Jadi now you know why sia nda akan list panjang2 tentang criteria lelaki pilihan sia, sebab I know, benda tu semua tidak valid lagi. Akhirnya sia punya deria yg akan respond to that. As long as I’m attracted to that guy, I will let the rest run its course. Sinang cerita.


Saturday, November 28, 2009

"My Hero"

I told this guy once. “You’re my hero”. He said, “Hahaha, you’re being funny again.” He didn’t believe it. He thought that [256] has a heart of stone. There’s no where she could look at me as…what…a hero? Freaking kidding me. He thought so.

Actually, I was telling the truth. I couldn’t describe why I had this feeling of “awe” as if I just saw a being that makes me feel “strong” when I saw him around. If he wasn’t there, I would look all over for him, secretly. Just the feeling of having him around made me feel safe and good. Yeah, that was strange enough.

Maybe because he has a very strong character. I think that’s very important for me. People with strong characters attract me easily. These people can make me shut up and listen to them. He has that. Despite me being fragile, he could be tough and hard on me, and still I find the way to understand, accept and live with it, without making that a reason to turn my back on him. Although he needs other characters that are bad enough to balance this rare quality, I still look at his strong points. I couldn’t explain WHY besides all that, I still think he’s cool.

And maybe it’s lucky, that he thinks high of me too. Maybe he didn’t call me anything near “My Heroin”, but he always told me that I’m Rare. “I can live all this life and find only one person like you. If I lose you, I don’t know if I can find someone like you again.” He told me that many times. Despite his harshness, those are among the few good things that sounded almost like sweet-talking, but this guy sucks at sweet-talking. He doesn’t know how to sweet talk because he has plenty of rough bones in his body. He’s totally a winner in shooting swears and curses. It left me hopeless in wanting to hear sugarcoated words guys always say. But still, he never failed to mention that “this unplanned” meeting with me, changed his initial plan. In a short time, I became that influential in his life that he even has a “special name” for me when he spoke of me to other people. He didn’t want these people to know who I am, but he wanted them to know that “he has a special friend” and you people don’t have to know who she is. When I tried to be open to other people that he and I are goodfriends, he said, “I don’t want others to know. Just as long as we both know.”

When I became comfortable about being friends secretly, he broke the rule. Suddenly he changed his mind. He didn’t mind if others know. Could it be that he wanted to secure his position in this friendship? He didn’t mind if a certain group of people know about our friendship, and he even wanted me to show to them that “he’s special” to me. I didn’t mind to play his game just a little. In the name of fun, why not. One thing I wasn’t sure if he knew was that…yes, he was special to me. He might not be the most gentle guy I know, but still, he was special. I met a few other goodfriends after him, who have almost all the better qualities than him…I still reserve the “hero” place for him.

I tried to explain this. Others might be good and gentle, but they become “ordinary” to me. The normal charming guys love to speak what I want to hear. They talk with the tone that is soothing to my ears. They always say nice compliments to brighten my day. Suddenly everything becomes cliché to me. I start to doubt if they really mean it or not. I’m looking for something that stands out in the crowd. I want something REAL. As far as I recall, life is not so gentle to us too. Then maybe anything too nice or too gentle is only fake. This guy, with all the glory of his harshness, made me think for a second that, he’s indeed the “most real” of them all. I didn’t have to worry when or where I gonna see the worse side of him, because he’s been showing it forever. For all those reasons, so if I were to award someone “My Hero”, as history has it, he was once the winner of that award.

And all that happened after listening to all the bad rumours going around about him. Even the people that I care, requested me to stop making friends with him. But I didn’t comply. Because I am an adult. I don’t just walk in and walk out from a friendship just because “people don’t like him”.

But maybe, fate has a way of telling us when things are not meant to be. Something happened and I made a decision to end it there. He was shocked and he wasn’t ready for it. He even threatened to do something silly if I ended the friendship. So I fixed my words and left it hanged so instead of a FullStop, it becomes a QuestionMark.

I never told anyone that trying to let go off “a hero” was not that easy. But I always know, replacing him was quite simple. Loadsa other guys can effortlessly substitute “that hero” place, but if I wanted to do so, I would have done it long before. But I realize that I would leave that place empty. I won’t substitute it just for the sake of having someone. I decided I could live without someone to reign as “a hero”.

The most interesting part is that, he might jump into conclusions about many things, but he always thought I was kidding when it comes to “being my hero.” Maybe he knows I don’t seem to need his protection. I don’t even look like I’m gonna make use of his strong arms for comfort. For him I was just good in my place and – “she doesn’t need a freaking hero.”

But a decision has been taken…I gave myself time to accept this as the best decision and try to be happy with it. I managed to get over my mighty hero. But I’m not sure if that mighty hero is Over me? With that heart of steel and face to save, he didn’t want to come and beg me --- to solve this QuestionMark. He waited for the time that I come crawling back to him. But it never happened. He has to know his match in this game of “Whose heart is the toughest?” I’ve told you guys, I usually win that game. Not because I want to win to feed my ego, but in this case, I honestly think that he’s only good to be memorize “as a hero” I once had. Anything more than that would be too much for him. He couldn’t meet any expectation beyond that.

For months, I should have realized that some of the funny things happened for a reason. I finally found out “my hero” is never over me. He’s been “stalking” me, watching me from afar and finding out my updates without me knowing. Now he’s showing the tendency to come back and CLAIM something from me. Now he lost the “toughest heart” game. He lost it. He came back to me first. But it’s not the game that matter.

I am NOT into it anymore. I don’t want to open a closed book. I thought that the chapter of “My Hero” has passed its time. Just by trying to make ways for him again, my cortisol is pumping into my bloodstream. It’s never normal with him. It’s always like this. I have to deal with unbearable pressure and stress when he’s in my life. Maybe others have the reason to tell me to “leave” that goblin. Yeah, a monster or a goblin, anything they referred him as, but guys…he was once “My Hero”.

I’ll remember him as once “My Hero”, I promise. As long as he doesn’t do anything bad and destroy the last pieces of good memories I have of him, I will always remember the good things about him. But sadly to speak, the best word I want to say to him now is…

Leave Me Alone.

You were ONCE my hero, but Not Anymore.

So just let me go :)

NOTE: Kalau suruh si 256 tulis bunga2, mimang dia la hero…*Lols… Tatapzzz… Hahahahahahahahahaha

Thursday, November 26, 2009

"Sorrylah Kasi Susah Kau..."

Ni cerita betul2 kin ketawa. Customer sia ni salesman ba. Dorang pi Labuan untuk buat sales there. She claimed yang Labuan ni nda sama macam KK. She told me about the few differences yang dia detect. Berabis sia nda mau pecaya. Labuan used to be part of Sabah ba kan. Orang sana pun cakap Sabah juga. I mean, apa yang berbeza sangat?

Dia cerita tentang sikap pemilik kedai makan di Labuan ni…ada yang “Kalau ada, adalah. Kalau teda, tedalah.” Hehehehehe. Ada sekali tu, dorang masuk this kedai makan. Teda orang peduli dorang pun bah. Then dorang kena panggil2 lagi tu amoi pelayan, and this amoi pun datang lah. Jalan main seret2 kaki ba. Kalau buli tidak mau datang pegi layan dorang. It’s like, “Kenapa juga ni urang ni mau panggil2 ooo???” Hahahaahahahahahaha. Then bila dorang cakap order dorang tu, itu amoi betul2 emotionless. Tidak tau sama ada dia dengar ka inda. Macam tu robot yang made of wires and steels ba. Dia langsung no reaction masa dorang cakap tu order dorang. Lain tempat yang dia tinguk. Nokotigog my heart, bilang kawan sia tu. *Lols. Then lepas ja dorang cakap tu, dia main jalan ja terus. Seolah-olah dengan penuh rasa “kebencian” seolah-olah dalam hati dia cakap “ini orang2 betul2 bikin susah sama sia wooo!!!”

/me berabis tahan ketawa

Then, another kedai makan pada masa yang berlainan. Ini pun sama. Dorang ni masuk kedai makan tu, cos lapar ba. Same thing, teda orang peduli. Yang dia nampak ni taukeh dorang (looks like taukeh cos dia guyang kaki) duduk nda jauh dari dorang, duduk di kerusi rehat, sedang tinguk tv. Dia baru ja kira mau ambil tu cermin and about to do something. Maybe dia mau cabut misai dia ka, apa ka…itu kita nda tau la. Kalau korang mau tau, kena tanya dia sendiri. *Lols. Then oleh kerana teda sepa yang ada di sana untuk melayan dorang, dan ni taukeh yang paling dekat untuk dorang panggil, my friend ni panggil la. Dia tinguk tempat meja kawan sia ni dengan jelingan yang membawa maksud, “Apa lagi ba dorang mau ni panggil2 sia?” Terus kawan sia panik. Dia cakap la dengan kawan2 dia, “Alamak…abis la kita ni kena marah sebab kacau istirehat dia.” (*Lol) Then dengan muka macam baru minum cuka, dia datang jua tempat kawan sia tu. Terus kawan sia cakap la, dengan nada terputus-putus, “Boleh kami order nasi goreng kah?” Terus dengan muka masamnya tu, dia masuk la pegi masak tu nasi. (*Lols) Then dia keluar bawa tu order dorang, and taruh di meja and dia terus pegi ke kerusi rehat dia tu dan sambung dia punya aktiviti istirehat. Dorang sedar juga yg tu taukeh memang terganggu gara2 dorang mau order makan. Hehehehehe. Then dorang panggil lagi for the second time, ini kali mau kira. Yang keluar dari mulut dia adalah harga tu makanan ja. Langsung teda extra word yang tidak berkaitan dengan tu makanan. Straight away terus cakap harga. Teda main bunga2 lagi ba. Hahahahaha. Terus after semua settle, masih lagi buat muka pissed off ba. Then kawan sia dengan penuh humblenya cakap, “Sorry la ah kami kasi susah kau…”

Dekat gila sia ketawa baaa. Sebab kawan sia buat all the face expression ba. Betul2 ini dunia sudah tebalik ba. Memang sia nda nafikan yang ada kedai2 macam ni. Sepatutnya bisnes ni berebut customers tapi dorang yang staring ni makes the customers yang merayu-rayu dan buat muka seposen untuk kasi dorang business. It’s like, “Tulunggg laa taukehh…tulung la ambil duit sia niii…Pleasee laaaa…” HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. Nda kisahlah di mana, dan apa jenis kedai. Sia pernah kena di kedai elektrik. Sakit ati tu taukeh bila sia tanya dia macamana mau guna tu barang. It’s like, “Ini kenapa lagi ba ni mau tanya2 niii?? So bikin susah wooo…” Begitu lah yang sia dapat baca dari sinaran di matanya tu. Hahahahahaha. Geli hati sia tinguk. Betul2 ini konsep sudah tebalik. My sister pun thought the same thing. Tanpa sia bagitau dia, dia sendiri cakap that kedai letrik mau itu customers merayu sama dorang untuk beli tu barang2 dorang. Hahahahahahahaha. Dorang sakit hati kalau ada orang masuk kedai dorang ba that…(/me pingsan tawa).

Jadi how la ni guys? Hehehehehehe. Maybe if kamurang ja satu kedai tinggal di dunia ni, maybe kamirang terpaksa jua pegi tempat kamu. Don’t you think you guys silap pilih profession ka that? Hehehehehehehe. Orang lain ahh…biarlah kena maki or what, dorang akan tunjuk senyum ja biarpun nangis dalam hati, asalkan dapat jaga hati customer. What happens to the world of Customer Service ni? Sia imagine if this budaya sudah merebak, you guys akan nampak banner yang bertulis, “Masuk la kalau berani” instead of “Selamat Datang”. Hahahaahahahahaahahahaahahahahahahahaha. Adoiiiii…macam2 adaaaaa….hehehehe.

Jan kamurang gitu ahhh… hehehehe

Note: 256 <-- dia ni kadang2 begitu juga tu. Pandai ja cakap orang… Hahahahahahaahahahahaha.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Puzzle of Confusion Or Speculation?

I receive an email from a reader. It’s very interesting. Wanna hear? She guessed that is run by MORE than 1 person. Ouch?!

I mean, if she guessed that this blog is run by a guy or a gay, I would not be that much surprised. *Lols. I mean, 2 persons? Where did she get that?

This is undeniably a sensational gossip for my small unknown blog right here. Hehehehehe. She says that the reasons why she guessed so is because of my mix languages. Sometimes I’m writing full English (but those are broken, sis. *Lols) and sometimes, I’m writing in my own pathetic Sabahan language. And she thought that my stories are logically covered by at least two persons’ lives. Oh come on…


She also suggested that Twofivesix[256] and any kind of the nick’s variation such as, [256], Twofivesix256 and even [brb], are different people. I mean, she said that only Twofivesix[256] is the real one. [256] or [brb] are someone else. Ouch? I don’t know what to answer her!! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

What do you think? Do you want to deal with this confusion that she started?

Another piece of creativity when she brings “my sister” into the picture. She said that me and my sister are sharing the same online identity. Again, Ouch??

So, who am I here? I mean the one that is typing this right now? The real or the second real Twofivesix[256]? Hahahahahahahahaahahaha.

Another strong reason is that, she said that if I’m so busy with my work, I won’t have time to write so much. But I still have time to update almost daily. So she’s not satisfied because this is getting more mysterious than she first thought. She said that I never really bring up in detail about my sister – it could be that she could be the co-owner of this blog.

Wait wait… I think it’s already very chaotic for me. I will get back to this matter when I’m a bit free.

Very Interesting. Analytic mind, sounds very familiar. Hehehehe.

Maybe if you have so much time to kill, come up with a more creative story. I find myself enjoying it. But don’t make conclusions cos that’s gonna make me mad. *Grinz. Hehehehehe. Besides that, wild guesses - I don’t mind at all.

NOTE: I actually appreciate it. It shows that some people care enough to solve this puzzle :) Or is it actually a puzzle, after all? Aha, that’s Another puzzle to solve. *Lols


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

OnLine & OffLine Characters: Are Yours Different?

Are you still the same person online and offline?

Are you sure your online friends can read your real characters?

For us who are involved in cyberworld, making more friends from various places through chatrooms and social online networking like Facebook, have you ever thought for a second if your real characters can really come out while you’re socializing online? I mean, how well can you express yourself for your online friends to really read your real characters?

I don’t know about you, but for the few people who I have the chance to know more than just online chatting, some people really suck in presenting themselves online. They appear to be boring, harsh and even “uncivilized” online when their real characters are very different from that. Some of then fail to appear intellectual when they are actually quite brainy. I don’t know what these people have in mind. Do they do it on purpose, or what? They better be doing that on purpose. Cos it’s not really a cool thing if you mistakenly make people misread you, just because you can’t bring yourself well in the online world.

I make my little research whenever I get to know an online friend a little bit more than just in cyberworld. Maybe because I notice about the difference between online and offline characters in some people, so I have put my little aim. My aim is that – I want people to get my real characters while they are socializing with me online. I think that’s the best way for me since that I am using a concept of separating online and offline world. With this concept, it’s so unfair for my online friends when they are making friends with me here, and less chances to bring the friendship to reality, and still I fake my characters. I think that it’s a total waste of time for me if everything is just FAKE. So, it doesn’t matter about my internet-identity concept, just as long as I play some honesty. So, how does it fare so far?

So far, memang ada yang character dorang sangat berbeza. Dorang nampak boring kalau di chatroom. But when I get on the phone with them, suddenly they become a totally different person. I mean, maybe that’s all online world can to us, right? Like there’s no way we can express ourselves so much. Can I object that? I don’t know why, but for me, I don’t have problems expressing myself from my writings. I insist that I can make people read my true characters.

I don’t know if I have succeeded in doing that, so far. I mean, I never put it too hard on myself. I just bring myself the most comfortable I know. And from my own evaluation, my characters are the same hyper [256]. Anyway, the first chatter who got to speak to me offline, thought otherwise.

He said, “[256], I can’t feel you when I chat with you. Until I hear your voice for the first time on the phone, then only I started to feel you.”

Ouch?! True meh? I think we should ask my bro Jojon if that’s true or not. For me, I am among those who can express our true characters quite well. Erks…Okay, let me rethink my statement. I will give the verdict at the end of this post. *giggles.

Jojon a.k.a Ulal is one of them. He’s totally good in expressing himself. He’s as charming as he is. (/me saja2 mau kipas my big bro (shss…mau minta spend baitu… *Lols). He laughs as much as he would type it. I totally salute my big bro for this. He doesn’t mind for us to read him cos he’s carefree and he has a positive mind. He’s just being himself and that makes him likeable and I feel good when my bro is around. What more can we ask for, right? If we can find friends who can make us feel good, and we enjoy their company, they make us laugh – I think that’s the best that we can expect from cyberworld, Yeahh…whether or not it’s true characters.

I also know another friend who looks so masculine when he’s online. But when I got on the phone with him, he’s already ‘something else”. The voice alone is almost girly and nothing that I can relate with masculinity. Hahahahaahahahahaha. It put me in shock for a few minutes because it was a poor match of online and offline characters.

Kennedy is another example of those who can’t match their online and offline characters. *Lols. (/me capat2 tapuk sebelum kana kubit. Hahahaahahaha). Nevermind. He knows it already. When he’s online, the impression that I have on him was so different. He uses the different kind of words that you would want to take more seriously than you would when you saw him online. What can I say? Maybe people don’t do it purposely. But I think if you have to pick, you would rather be charming when you’re offline. At least that’s the charm that you can offer to people in reality.

Okay, WHAT ABOUT ME??? Emm… Okay, delete everything that I have said earlier on about me being good in expressing my true characters online. Actually…who I am in chatrooms are not so much my true characters. I am NOT THAT NASTY in real world. Hahahahahaha. Do you know that I got warned by an op because of my adult language in public channel? It gives people the impression that this [256] is SuperNasty. I AM NOT! Hahahahaha. It’s just my fingers. I write everything I won’t say or do. So it’s really the fun version of myself that you can find in chatrooms. Unfortunately, I don’t chat so much lately. It’s true in SMS. If you guys get in SMS with me, it’s still the same chatroom language that I use. I’m still nasty. Hahahahahaha. But IN PERSON…I AM NOT.

The only thing that I can express well is about me being hyper in words. I talk a lot in real life. I also think a lot and I write a lot. Who I am on the phone is something closer to my true self. Heheheheehhehe. You will know how much I laugh, how much I talk and HOW I talk. It’s not nasty at all. So gudgirl one baa… *Lols. (Jon, tulung sukung sista kau ni ahhh…nanti me blanja… *Lols)

Okay, the conclusion is…It doesn’t matter if people can read you or not. As long as you’re enjoying yourself and people are enjoying your company, let it be part of the process of friendship when they learn little by little about you and find out themselves if you’re the same person who appears to be when you’re online and offline. Because we are here in the cyberworld not really for the purpose of making people read our real characters. We are here because we want to have fun, we want to kill boredom. So let it be the thrill for our online friends to find out our true characters. How about that?


Hehehehehehe. Happy Tuesday everyone!

Note: One thing for sure is, my BLOG is VERY CLOSE to my real personality. I can't be more honest than that. :)

Monday, November 23, 2009

Cakap2 Kaki Lima

Inilah conversation yang mungkin terjadi juga di zaman dulu kala, tapi ada jarang sikit. Tau la bahasa orang2 sekarang ni semakin “nda cukup kain” *Lols.

Tadi, I singgah di satu gerai jual kuih muih. Then that penjual nampak a guy, jalan dengan budak. Penjual tu cakap la, “Anak kau ka?” I saw muka lelaki tu macam lain macam ja lepas dia dengar macam tu. Dia cakap, “Nda lah. Belum kawin pun ni.” Then penjual tu cakap lagi, “Aik, jadi sepa yg kawin hari tu?” Then lelaki tu jawab, “Itu abang sia la, kak.” Then penjual tu cakap, “Jadi kau bila lagi ni?” Then lelaki tu jawab, “Alaa, ada tunang juga ba kak. Ntah la bila ni.” Penjual tu terus menjawab, “Jangan tunggu lama2, nanti BASI.” Then lelaki tu cakap, “Alaa kakk…sudah biasa “pakai” juga…” sambil dia selamba jalan meninggalkan gerai tu. Selamba gila.

256: ???!!! <---blank ni anak…kesiannnn… (Hahahahahahahaahaha)

Dalam hati si 256 cakap macam ni… “Kalau benda macam ni dorang cakap di kaki lima, apa pula yg dorang akan cakap kalau dalam kelambu ya?” Ishh ish ishhh...dasyat betulll...


Sunday, November 22, 2009

Which One Is Less Hurting?

I recalled one day when my bestfriend called me up. She wanted to ask for my opinion.

She said,

“A friend called me up and asked me, how do I cope with the lost of my dad. Is it still hurting after a year?”… “What I want to ask you is, which one is better, when your loved one fall sick for a long time, you get to visit him on the hospital bed and you are on his side until his last breath, Or when your loved one doesn’t show the sign of any serious sickness until the last minute that he just collapse and admitted to the hospital and gone before he says his last words?"

I went,

“Emmm…Actually the word “better” is not suitable. Nothing is ever “better” in the case involving losing our loved ones. “Less hurting” is more suitable.”

She continued,

“You know, I tried to compare my situation with that friend of mine, because recently her mom just collapse and went coma until her last breath. Before that she was totally healthy. She didn’t get to say final words because she never woke up from the sudden coma. Unlike my dad, we knew he was sick for a long time. He even got to speak about how he wanted his funeral to be done. – If I tried to compare, What For? In the end, it’s still the same. It’s the same kind of Unbearable Pain of losing. It doesn’t matter how it happens. That’s what I think.”

Then I responded,

“Okay, you’re right. But if you ask me, which one is less hurting. Of course your case is less hurting because you guys have enough time to Be Prepared for it, emotionally, spiritually and physically. You can do anything you want to do to cherish the last moments you have. Unlike the other case, there could be much regret because IF ONLY they knew they were gonna lose someone so dear, they could have done things differently. They would appreciate the times together much better than they did. You’re right, the dead will be gone, but it’s about US who are still alive, how to cope with the loss. I think that HOW you lose them helps how we cope with the loss.”

You guys get the idea?

Then I want to bring up the year 2012 which has been said to be the end of the world. Wow…isn’t it “great” that we know when the world is going to end? We know it’s going to end anyway, but to know WHEN it happens is something “very useful”. It’s the same with when you know you are going to live another 1 week, I bet you would do things differently. You won’t waste a freaking minute doing stuff that you usually do “to kill the time” cos the time you are killing now is not reaching to an end. It’s in fact an intriguing idea to KNOW your final time, because you can prepare for it. BUT…but…think about this for a moment. Do you agree when I say that by the time you learn about the final day, you would start to grieve and mourn silently for that coming day? I mean, you WON’T live your days the same anymore. Everything is dedicated to that final day. You will stop living without boundaries, you will forget about your ultimate dreams and all that. All you can do is reaching for what’s reachable. If you can reach only a handful, you would try to be happy with that handful that you can reach.

Emm…that’s sad right?

Suddenly, I want to entertain the other idea. MAYBE it’s just better if WE DON’T KNOW when it’s going to end. Maybe we can still live today as if we gonna live forever. Our emotion, our mental and physical are at the best freedom it can experience. We don’t put constraint. We gonna live thinking that this happiness is going to linger. I believe the feeling is so different. At least we get to ENJOY life until the end of it – without mourning for it before it’s time.

THINK ABOUT IT, my friends.

Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter what we think, cos when the final day comes, it’s going to take its toll anyway. But now, we are still breathing, right? Why worry so much about that final day when it’s gonna come anyway. We should worry more about how to live this life that we surely gonna leave one day.


Saturday, November 21, 2009

Memory Disturbance?

I sms-ed my cousin in panic. Tiba2 I teringat about one work yang I delayed. I totally forgot about the details of the work. Omigawddd~!! I felt so bad towards my cousin masa tu, cos the work was brought in by her. Then I sms-ed her, Do you still have the details of the work? I LOST THEM ALL!! My cousin ni yang maybe sedang dalam kelas, sms me back. “Sia pun lupa ohh.” Alalaalalalalalaa… Parah ni!!!

Then I was afraid my cousin would think that I’m inefficient, so I sms-ed her back. “Nanti sia try find the paper la. Hopefully masih ada sini.” Hopefully it would make her feel good. Then not long after that, she sms-ed to me… “As long as I remember, semua sudah siap. Tiada lagi yang kena delay.” Then terbesar mata sia kejap. “AIKS??”

Daripada satu kekusutan yang baru mula mengambil tempat dalam kepala otak sia ni, suddenly satu kejutan. Rupanya memang betul kerja2 tu semua sudah sia kasi siap long before. Satu rasa kelegaan yang tidak boleh digambarkan. Tapi why my head felt so heavy as if banyak benda yang sia belum siap??

Sudah berapa lama sia torture kepala otak sia ni? Looks like some of the burden are only virtual and not real at all. Dalam pada sia cuba meet expectation diri sendiri, sepa sangka yang sebahagian bebanan dalam kepala sia ni sebenarnya “isn’t there at all”. Ouch?!

Then it made me think that actually sia ni terlampau underestimate my own efficiency. Maybe because I am quite perfectionist. But not too much la. Luckily, my customers mostly LESS perfectionist than me, jadi dorang boleh tolerate with a little bit defects here and there. But kadang2 my work memang teruk juga. Anyway, ada my loyal customers yang rely on me because they know I am perfectionist. Dorang tau sia sanggup dera diri sia sendiri untuk produce something, dan tidak buat something sambil lewa saja – they know I always put too hard on myself. They just let me get drown in my own expectation when they just tap from the good outcome.

Haiyaa…I don’t know laa…yang penting sekarang I want to finish my kerja first. Harap2 teda lagi jadi macam hal kemarin tu. Totally a redundant memory disturbance or what? Hehehehehehe. Woww…overload ka kepala sia ni ah? Not really ba kan? Hehehehehehe.

I still remember baru2 tu, my phone rang. I saw the name keluar di skrin. For example, the name comes out is Suzana. You guys know apa sia buat? Sia tengok ja tu skrin and biar tu phone ring sementara sia juggle my mind, “Suzana mana satu lagi ni ahh?” Then terus berbaris tu nama orang2 yang sia kenal yang bernama Suzana. Ada yang Suzana yang sia kena daripada short course. Ada Suzana yang sia kenal dari sekolah rendah. And then siap teringat lagi Suzana dalam lirik lagu tu ba. Alalaalalalalalala… Mana satu punya Suzana niii???? (/me pingsan ketawa) Then dia call again, sia tekan ja and kept quiet sebab sia masih juggling my memory. Takut2 silap orang ba. Dia cakap, “Hello, 256 ka ni?” Then I said, “Emmmm…Yes.” (Tapi sangat2 pelan sebab sia mau delay that conversation sampai la sia ingat or cam suara dia. Suara dia pun sia nda cam ba!! Adoii!! “Suzana ba niii” dia cakap. Dalam hati sia cakap, “Yeah I know you’re Suzana cos my phone has your name. The question is, Suzana MANA SATU!!!!???” (Hahahaahahahahahahaha) Then dia start cakap tujuan dia call sia, but sia terpaksa juga stop dia. “Wait wait…emmm…Suzana mana satu ni ahh?” Alaalalalaalala….jatuh my waterface. Palupa punya 256…Satu kali dia kastau sia the last time dia visit my workplace, baru laaa sia ingat. Patutlaaaa… Nama dia ni bukan pun Suzana baa. Nama dia sangat jauh daripada Suzana, tapi sia ingat tu dia cakap, semua orang panggil dia Suzana termasuk family dia so jarang2 dia pakai nama betul. So dia suruh sia tulis Suzana dalam phone sia tu. Hehehehehehehe. Aiks, macam ni pun adakah?

Let me make some memory test. “256, what’s your real name?” “When is your birthdate?” “What is your gender?” Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha. Okay! Luckily I still remember all those things. Hehehehehe. Ntah laaa…sia pun nyaris lupa nama sia ni. Sia cuma ingat sia ni si Twofivesix[256] jaa….Abis laaa guyssss…nama sendiri pun sampai telupa niii. Hahahaahahahahahahahahahaha.

Kiddingggg :PPPPPPPPP

Muahsss everyone. Happy Saturday.

Note: I want to say Hi to Mr Kennedy. One thing about him, he appears to remember things more than I do. Like, I thought we have started to talk to each other since last year and he told me – 256, not even a month laaa… Alalalaalalalalalalaa… *Lols. Just kidding. Just my funny way to say sorry to him. Hehehehehehe. Si Ken cakap kalau dia ada blog, confirm sia sudah keluar blog dia. Kalau ya pun gitu, make sure me keluar dengan cara yg terhormat dan got red carpet ah Ken. *Lols. (256<--- nda sedar diri ni urang, sudah la overslept last nite, buat2 nda bersalah pula. Hahahahahaahahahaha). K peeps. Have fun all…God bless you all :)

Friday, November 20, 2009

Be The Person Of Your Word

Morning everyone. Pagi2 lagi sudah berceloteh. Hehehehe. I want to sembang2 with you guys before I start my work today. This is about “Keeping your word”, iaitu tepati janji. Or tidak semestinya janji. At least when you say something, it’s virtuous to keep your word. In other words, Cakap serupa bikin.

Actually, I always claim that I take promises seriously tapi setakat claim saja pun teda guna. Sia sedar kelemahan diri sia sendiri especially when I deal with my customers. I tend to say OK sama semua benda. I said I could finish it at certain date, tapi bila that date sampai, actually sia belum siap pun. And I simply said, Ala, sorry. Belum siap lagi. I feel bad actually. Pada mulanya sia selalu cari excuse bahawa sia tidak patut dipersalahkan sebab sia ada reason why sia delay those works. Sia selalu refuse to care if my customers tersinggung atau tidak dengan sikap sia tu yang tidak menepati kata. Suddenly I felt tired of finding excuses. Sia start sedar yang my perangai yg suka delay kerja, suka melambatkan-lambatkan kerja – actually ini bukan hanya menyakitkan hati customer sia, tapi membawa banyak kerugian kepada diri sia sendiri. So it’s a lesson to learn. Sia tidak boleh bagi alasan yang sia terlampau sibuk. Sibuk pasal apa lagi kan? Mestipun sibuk pasal customer. But then sama juga my customers aren’t too happy. Jadi, apa lagi yang sia boleh buat dengan baik kalau kerja sia pun sia perform macam tu saja? Memang teruk.:P

Then sia try to analyze myself pula dari segi di luar bidang kerja. In my social life – adakah I’m a person of my word? Sia selalu pikir yang sia ni among those yang confirm boleh percaya punya. You can tell me all your secrets and I won’t leak. In other words, memang sia adalah orang yang boleh harap. Kunun-kununnya la kan. Hehehehehe. Tapi actually…sedar nda sedar, still I suck juga dalam hal ni. Ada masa yang sia akan ketepikan hal tu and share with someone else about it. Macamana pun, I think that it’s not right to begin with. Kadang2 sia terlupa juga bahawa sia tidak mau ada 2 pihak bergaduh gara2 I leak something that I shouldn’t. Kadang2 sia terlupa bahawa sia kena pikirkan orang lain yg terjejas kalau sia cakap something yang sia tidak patut cakap. Mungkin apa yang sia sudah terbuat tanpa sengaja tu tidaklah teruk sangat, tapi it’s a bad start. Sia tidak mau jadi macam orang2 yang tidak boleh dipercayai. Bagus juga la sia sedar sebelum sia memasukkan diri sia dalam kategori itu tanpa sia sedar. Sia tidak mau jadi just another person who doesn’t walk the talk.

Dalam kesibukan hidup ni, yang kadang2 di luar kawalan kita, memang inilah benda2 yang kita boleh buat. Sedar nda sedar, kita sudah tersasar dari tabiat yang mengamalkan nilai2 murni tu. Hehehe. So today sia berazam untuk mend my ways and hari ni sia akan force myself buat semua kerja2 yg sia delay. Tiada yang lebih baik daripada memulakan satu hasrat murni through making my customers happy first. Sia mau tinguk if kalau sia atasi kelemahan sia ni, berapa kali ganda keuntungan yang sia boleh dapat. Sebab one thing for sure, sia ni terlalu berlembut dengan diri sia sendiri. Now, the challenge is I must finish all the works, so that the new batch of work boleh take over. Kalau tidak, sampai bila2 la sia stuck with kerja2 ni semua. Silly kan?

And one more thing, I will watch my words more carefully now. I must only say apa yang sia mampu tepati. Kalau tidak, bagus cakap terus terang. Sia tidak mau buat orang berharap. Sia rasa sia sudah puas buat benda tu selama ni. Kalau masih nda serik2, bagus sia pi terjun laut la kan guys? *Lols.

Challenge yourself today. If you say you want to meet a friend at 5 PM, you MUST be there at 5 PM. I tell you, bukan senang u mau dapat kepercayaan your friend once you’ve lost it. Banyak benda yang u akan rugi. Not to mention dalam hal kerja u. We tidak sedar yang orang sengaja mau uji kita if kita ni jenis orang yg tepati janji atau tidak. Apa pun, teda kerugian pun if we be the person of our word. Walaupun kerja u bagus, tapi your words tidak boleh pakai, u boleh lose a job tau. Your customer mungkin lari kepada your competitor yang tidaklah sebagus mana. Tapi at least words yang keluar dari mulut dorang tu adalah words yang boleh percaya. Nah…u want ka like that?

My answer is, I don’t want to be like that. So that’s why sia insaf sudah start hari ni.*Lols See what I can do today. Sia mesti siapkan semua kerja tertangguh hari ni walaupun sia terpaksa stay up sampai pagi? (Boleh pecaya ka tu ahh? Erkssss…!!!) Hahahahahahahahaha. Let’s do our best to keep our word to others. That's today's challenge okay. *giggles.

Let's Tolerate Them Lies

Suka atau tidak, ada golongan manusia yang lebih kerap menipu or membohong, walaupun cuma white lies saja. Dorang ni sudah terlalu terbiasa dengan habit macam tu, sampaikan “just another lie” tu macam jadi makanan harian dorang. Boleh dikatakan, setiap benda yang keluar dari mulut dorang tu, mesti ada tipu2 sikit.

Kalau sekali imbas, memanglah menipu ni satu perbuatan yang tidak baik. Kita pun tidak suka orang menipu. Kita nda suka ditipu. Tapi semakin kita dewasa, semakin kita paham bahawa kalau terlampau lurus pun, payah juga. Pahit macamana pun untuk ditelan, akhirnya u guys akan setuju juga dengan sia bahawa mungkin “bercakap benar” tu bukan sentiasa solution yang terbaik untuk menyelamatkan keadaan. It’s like, “People don’t have to know the truth if it’s going to hurt them.” Something like that la.

Since I have the habit of menganalisa orang2 di sekeliling sia, instead of finding fault and call them, “A Liar”, I tried to find justification behind that habit why they lie in the first place. I know this one person, who is already a “professional liar” because he’s used to it to save himself from difficult situation. Benda ni bukan habit dari kecil. Ada orang yang pick up this habit when they are already grown up. Even bila sia dengar dia cakap di phone, even hal2 yang kecil2 pun dia mau tipu. Like, “I’m on the way sudah ni” sedangkan terang2 dia masih lagi duduk2 and not even ready to go out yet. Masa tu, heran juga. “Aiks, ndakan la hal2 macam tu pun mau tipu.” Like, if they want you to wait, they keep saying, “Kejap lagi.” But oleh kerana benda tu dicakap “Kejap lagi” berkali2, sampai juga 1 jam menunggu. But oleh kerana dorang tu pandai menipu, you pun tidak rasa u tunggu 1 jam.

Contohnya if payment lambat…Orang tu sebenarnya memang tunggu the fund untuk bayar. But once the money is there, and the person comes to make the payment, dia buat la macam2 alasan – “Ohh, lama sudah ba sia simpan ni duit ni, tapi tidak ja terjumpa kau.” Nahh, you pun tau ba dia menipu. Tapi masa tu, payment sudah dibuat, you automatically just ACCEPT saja semua alasan cover line yang dia bagi tu. Sebab you boleh teka reason sebenar, but kalau dia cakap something else yg sounds better di telinga, akhirnya kau akan izinkan saja dorang ni menipu. Yang penting, the payment sudah settle masa tu. Dan u decided to Just Forgive them for lying, sebab akhirnya you understand, they might lie to keep things in good place. Dorang lie supaya you tidak payah tau the real reason why dorang lambat, cos sama juga dorang buat that payment. The damage is already done, so lying a bit boleh mengurangkan ketegangan suasana tu.

Dan I have a few orang2 yang sia sayang pun ada gaya macam ni. Especially when they deal with me. I am quite a difficult person because I can be very demanding. When I want your attention, I expect to get it. If I don’t get it, I pout and I pull a long face. It’s just so tough to “look after” someone like me. So pada masa yang sama, orang2 ni pun ada hal masing2 juga. Dorang tidak dapat sentiasa be there for me when I need them. But at the same time, dorang mau sia tau yg dorang actually care so much for me. Biarpun dorang tidak dapat make space for me, dorang bukan sengaja. Tapi ndakan la dorang mau cakap, “Oh sorry ah 256. Sia teda masa mau layan kau ni sekarang. Ada hal yg lagi penting sia mau settle ni sekarang.” Walaupun memang itu yang sebenarnya, tapi kalau cakap terus terang, silap2 hilang kawan pula. Bagus2 hubungan dorang dengan sia, nda kan la pasal masa2 sibuk yang hanya datang sekali sekali yang menyebabkan hilang kawan kan? Apa lagi kalau terkena lagi sama orang macam si 256 yg bikin panas tuu. Hahahahaha. So, diam nda diam, sia pun actually PAHAM juga why orang2 ni terpaksa guna SKILL menipu dorang supaya dorang boleh jaga hubungan baik dengan sia. I think sia ni pun boleh read orang juga. Biarpun sia punya perangai ni sometimes macam budak2, tapi sia tidak boleh deny my maturity untuk paham how people cope with me. So bila keadaan2 mendesak, sia akan cuma pasang telinga dengar “penipuan versi terkini” dorang tu. Walaupun dalam 1 perenggan ayat tu, sia tau yang tiada satu pun yg boleh pakai, tapi sia tetap accept apa yg dorang cakap tu seolah-olah sia nda tau yg dorang tu cuma mau cover line saja. Yang penting, sia tau dorang cakap gitu sebab dorang tidak mau sia rasa kecil hati. Dorang mau yg selepas benda tu berlalu, dorang akan boleh make up for it. Actually, akhirnya sia terpaksa juga mengaku yang orang kena juga ada skill mau twist and turn the fact. Mungkin betul la apa orang cakap. It doesn’t matter what the truth is. It’s about what you believe.

Another side of life yang kita kena terima, agree or not? Hehehehe. Ironinya, kematangan ni buka mata kita untuk melihat hidup ni dengan cara yang berbeza. We will find ways to cope with life, bend our ways here and there because anggap saja la memang inilah reality kehidupan. Memang fikiran kita tau yg ada satu jalan yg lurus- tapi realitinya, jalan yg lurus itu tidak realistic or practical. Kita kena juga cunning sikit untuk menempuhi hidup ni for Survival. Maybe…it’s one way how we describe that, “Ini barulah namanya betul2 guna otak.” Dan kalau kamu berada di tempat orang yang jadi mangsa kepada “otak geliga” mereka2 ini, akhirnya kamu tidak akan jadi tarik muka masam. Kematangan akan buat kamu paham dan Tolerate saja la dengan penipuan tu semua and lemparkan senyuman yang penuh makna. Ini lah proses kematangan yg tidak boleh dijualbeli. Hanya masa yang akan reveal it to us when the times comes. So white lies untuk kebaikan bersama? Maybe adakalanya, it’s the best way to go, right? So…when I tolerate with them lies, you know it’s not because I think lying is good, but it’s that’s the best option left untuk menjaga hubungan baik sesama manusia…then why not… :)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Part II: The Value Of A Man

WARNING: This page is considered 18SX. It's advisable that you must have a good moral ground before you proceed.

Here’s a story that tells a lot.

This man is a married man, with 4 kids. His first child is reaching 20 years in a year or two. Imagine how long he has started to become a father. Being a government servant who seldom shows up in the office, he definitely is one type who are lucky to get the job but never grateful. He definitely fails as a worker. Luckily, his wife is working too. This man is dating my friend (she’s the Toxic Lady, refer to my older post). My friend has an obsession of going out with married men, because she was told by a fortune teller back in Thailand that she is destined with a married man. After hopping from one married man to another, she finally stuck with the Worst on the list. This man definitely breaks all the records. Almost unheard and unthinkable. Read on.

Affair this guy with my friend bukan rahsia lagi. Sebab benda ni sudah bertahan lebih dari 3 tahun. This toxic lady has a bad mission. Dia mau wreak marriage ini lelaki dan ikat that lelaki to be her man. Although this man is actually good for nothing, the toxic lady decides that dia tidak peduli tu semua. She announces that dia tidak perlukan lelaki untuk jadi leader or untuk tanggung dia. She only needs a man to be a bed partner, and according to her, this man memang very good in bed. Please take note that I don’t call her the Toxic Lady for nothing, okay? Now you know why I have taken out her name from my friendlist. She’s totally wild and out of this world. Walaupun dia anak orang berduit dan ada nama, she has a respectable career and luxury life, sepa sangka yang she still choose to be a “beggar” in love. Dia tidak peduli itu lelaki ada anak2. Yang dia tau, this 4$$hol3 memang not even good as a father to begin with. Not to mention, a good husband. He totally sucks in all his roles. She can take advantage and just try and sweep him away to be her “legal” companion,

Bila wife dia tau pasal affair husband dia ni, dia sudah pikir masak2 dan decides yang dia tidak boleh ubah anything. Mungkin dia pun pasrah yang husband dia tu betul2 S*x addict yang tidak boleh ditangani lagi. Dia lagi tau sebab that man is her husband. So untuk divorce pun teda guna. Anak pun semakin meningkat dewasa. Akhirnya pertimbangan sebagai seorang dewasa tu sangat2 diperlukan. Mau tidak mau, dia ketepikan harga diri dia dan TERIMA saja apa laki dia buat. As long as the husband still comes home and be the father to their children. Apa dia mau buat di luar, lantak la. The worst thing yang dia buat untuk lepaskan kemarahan dia tu adalah be on the phone with the toxic lady. Then jadilah conversation yg totally uncivilized between them. Keluar semua kata2 makian dan sumpahan. The worst thing adalah they actually bergaduh and compete about Who actually please the man better in bed!!!! Sia sendiri pun almost choked bila sia dengar cerita ni. Sia tidak sangka orang yg berpelajaran tu pun boleh cakap benda2 macam tu. Sillynya untuk sia rasa hairan. Itu sia belum kira lagi berapa banyak married men yang hidupnya jadi tunggang langgang oleh sebab dia. Those men yang pikir mau one nite stand saja, but terkena dengan si Toxic lady ni – kena kejar sampai lubang cacing. Nyaris2 rumahtangga dorang hancur just because they thought this Toxic lady is just another brainless p*s**. You guys pikir balik apa yang your d*ck does for you la. Mau tunggu sampai u kena roll kereta baru mau sedar?? (Woo….tulung kipas lu si 256 nii… *Lols)

Yang lebih teruknya, masa dia sudah start together with this toxic lady, that guy tetap mencari peluang mau scr*w other girls. And dia cakap terang2 dengan that toxic lady. The last one yang kami tau, he said to her he was looking forward to scr*w this 16 years old schoolgirl, just to prove is that young girl is still virgin or not. That girl yang dia pok tu pun lagi muda dari anak sulung dia, and maybe sama umur dengan salah satu dari anak dia. Can you imagine that? You pikir sendiri tamadun apa yg dia pakai. And this toxic lady sudah sign untuk diri dia jadi s*X machine yang Tiada perasaan untuk dijaga. She’s officially making herself the dumbA$$ of the Eve generation because that guy anggap dia macam “barang”. Kalau ada guna, baru cari. Kalau teda duit baru cari. Kalau mau “itu”, baru cari.

But apa pun, lelaki sorang ni betul2 pecah rekod. Tidak cukup dengan apa yang sudah dia buat, baru2 tu the Toxic lady found out that the man also scr*wed her own enemy, iaitu workmate dia yang memang musuh tradisi. Biarpun that woman is also married. Ini lah ceritanya kalau sudah berjumpa di kalangan ‘mereka2”. Akan keluarlah cerita yang akan buat kepala kamu meletup. Totally unthinkable.

Early this year, the toxic lady did something very silly. Her last resort untuk tame the wild guy is by letting herself get pregnant. She finally got pregnant of the guy’s child. She thought hati lelaki tu akan lembut dan sanggup tinggalkan keluarga dia and marry her. You guys know apa that lelaki cakap? “Kasi gugur tu anak. Sia tidak mau tu anak.” And then masa dia pegi clinic to get the procedure done, and inside the car, the guy bukan main senyum lebar. “Nasibbb baik…” Perasaan terlalu lega (“I just killed an unwanted human?”) Tidak cukup dengan pre-marital sex, and then suka2 getting planned pregnancy dengan lelaki yg bukan husband sendiri, I don’t know apa lagi mau cakap. Memang Toxic lady tu banyak silap juga. Tapi sebagai seorang lelaki, you are expected to be a leader kan? Kalau jumpa orang sesat, kamu mau sesatkan lagi? Di sini la letakkan pertimbangan kamu sebagai lelaki. Ada bangkai depan mata, mestikah kamu take advantage dari kekurangan perempuan macam si Toxic lady tu? Kalau kamu betul2 lelaki yang “Ada Value”, sia berani cakap dengan kamu yang kamu TIDAK akan dibawa oleh arus kesesatan tu. Jangan kamurang lupa yang dia ni husband orang, ada 4 anak yang panggil dia Bapa. Kenapa masih tidak tau apa2 pasal mau handle life ni? Dia punya tabiat buruk tidak mengenal siapa. Biarlah dia tu musuh girlfriend dia ka, or saudara bini dia ka, or anak buah kawan dia ka, kalau dia ada chance, dia akan sambar. Apa punya jenis lelaki ni? Ini lah contoh lelaki yang betul2 pikir guna d*ck dia. Sorry to say. Kalau dia pakai otak, sia tidak percaya ada org sanggup hidup mcm ni.

The other day, when I was on the phone with my bestfriend. We talked about kawan kami yang sudah sangat jauh tersesat ni. Now it’s like waiting What’s Next from her. Apa pun, sia bukan mau backup my friend ni. Sia sudah disown dia as my own friend, despite knowing her since we are 16 lagi. Bukan alang2 untuk sia simply mau disown kawan sia sendiri yang sudah lalui macam2 benda sama2. Sia terpaksa korbankan semua good points dia sebab cara hidup dia yang betul2 tersasar. Walaupun sia tau dia punya approach memang totally immoral, but I know dalam hati dia, dia mencari cinta. Dia mau disayangi. What to do if she’s not happy enough and grateful dengan family dia. Tapi she only wants a man untuk love dia, sayang seikhlasnya. But memang dia sangat susah mau jumpa. So at least she finds a man who can fill the blank space in her life. Dan untuk capai tu, dia tau kelemahan lelaki. Dia guna badan dia untuk dapat kasih sayang lelaki. Walaupun sudah entah berapa kali approach dia silap, berapa kali dia menangis dan diperbodohkan, dia tidak pandai serik. Yang dia tau, lelaki confirm akan datang tempat dia kalau dia offer apa yang dorang mau. In this case, I pity you guys if you let your other head do the thinking. Bukan salah kami kalau You Men tidak tau camana mau kawal nafsu. Gara2 nafsu kamu, keluarga kamu akan musnah. Gara2 nafsu kamu, reputasi kamu akan jatuh. Gara2 nafsu kamu, kamu akan kehilangan VALUE kamu sebagai seorang lelaki. I said that word to my bestfriend. “This guy totally Tiada Value. If derived to price tag, RM 0 ba. Totally No Value.”

Finally, sia masuk point utama kepada topik ini. What Is The Value of A Man?

Actually, we women tau yang kami tidak dapat harap lebih2 sangat daripada kamu. Kamu sendiri bagitau kami yang kamu akan menduakan kami in one way or another. Kami sendiri nampak dan tau macamana you guys are mostly lust-driven. Kami mau nangis pun teda guna, mau ketawa lagi la teda guna. Sebab mangsanya teda lain dan teda bukan, adalah perempuan juga. Kita mau judge pun susah cos dosa pahala tu urusan Tuhan. Cuma apa yang sia boleh simpulkan sebagai seorang perempuan, semua kejadian2 yang haru biru ni yang akhirnya membolehkan sia meletak NILAI pada seorang lelaki.

Kalau kamu semua macam tu, akibat nature kamu. Then we women kena berlaku adil dalam hal ini. Since that you guys are so helpless when the other head are getting “bigger” than the real head, then mungkin kita cerita macam ni saja la.

Sekurang2nya, macamana pun kamu punya hormon memang tinggi daripada lelaki normal, or kamu ada tarikan yang makes the girls glued to you, and kamu ada duit untuk afford lifestyle yang begitu, KAMU MESTI at least hidup dengan ada prinsip. PRINSIP is a big word to me. Macamana pun nafsu kamu tu tidak terkawal, kamu MUST ada rules yang kamu tidak boleh break. Kalau kamu kerja, kerja betul2. Jangan asyik pikir mau pok silap kawan2 ofis kamu yg seksi2 tu. Kalau sehamsap mana pun kamu, peranan sebagai abang kepada adik2 kamu tu tetap diutamakan. Biarlah kalau kamu terpaksa miss that chance untuk pok silap one lady, tanggungjawab kamu tetap di atas itu semua. Kalau kamu sudah kawin, kamu mesti utamakan anak bini kamu. Biar pun kamu terpaksa hilang kawan. Yes…sampai begitu sekali. Ini adalah rules yang UNBREAKABLE. Nothing should come above TANGGUNGJAWAB kamu. Kalau kamu ada anak, kamu ajar anak kamu betul2 untuk ke jalan kebaikan, biarpun kamu tu pun bukanlah sebaik mana. Kalau kamu seorang guru, kamu mesti concentrate on ajar student kamu biarpun student kamu tu sangat cute dan seksi. Kalau kamu dengan kawan2 perempuan kamu, kamu jangan sekali2 simpan niat buruk – “Manatau dia pok one nite stand dengan dia ni”. Orang percaya sama kamu, biar la dia tu hot hotchie lady ka, or what…kamu kena obey kepercayaan orang sama kamu. Ini yang sia maksudkan dengan hidup yang berprinsip. Biarpun kamu cakap kamu cuma lelaki biasa, tapi INI yang akan membezakan kamu dengan lelaki2 lain. Sebab hal2 begini lah yang meletakkan value atas diri kamu. Kamu akan ketepikan kelemahan kamu sebagai lelaki, sebab ada benda2 lain yang lagi penting daripada nafsu kamu. Senang cerita la. Lelaki yang ada pegangan adalah lelaki yang ada value di mata kami.

Contoh cerita di atas tu—adalah cerita tentang lelaki yg TOTALLY LOST IT. I told my bestfriend, if lelaki macam ni tiba2 vanish dari this earth, this earth sikit pun tidak rugi. That’s rude I know. Tapi dia sudah membuat pelanggaran hukum yang sangat2 terlampau. Hidup yang TIADA ARAH. Tiada Prinsip. Dia main hantam keromoh saja asal nafsu dia puas. Tapi u guys kena ingat. That Nafsu yang u guys mau kasi puas tu TIDAK akan pernah puas pun. Ini barang hanya akan lead u to kehancuran saja. Bagus lagi u guys pause and renung baru IF it’s worth it, or not. Sia betul2 kesian dengan org macam ni. Biarpun hidup ini cuma sementara, tidak semestinya kita guna tubuh badan kita ni dengan tidak berhemah. Sampaikan tidak peduli soal maruah dan harga diri. Biarpun kamu lelaki, kamu jangan pikir yang kamu ada lesen untuk scr*w around. Tidak payah cakap pasal hal dosa dan pahala. Kita semua pun ada dosa. Tapi it’s so unforgivable untuk live hidup ni tanpa peraturan dan prinsip. Sia2 la kita kena bagi apa yang telah dibagi pada kita. It’s umpama layang2 yang simply fly away ikut ke mana angin bawa dia. So you guys imagine la betapa tersasarnya tamadun yg kita bangga2kan ni. Sampaikan buli jadi kes Haruan makan anak. Why guys, why?

Actually…if benda ni pahit untuk ditelan, u imagine how worse it is for us women. Kami lagi banyak bebanan untuk ditanggung. Kami tidak payah jadi seteruk kamu untuk dapat mcm2 tohmahan. Setiap langkah kami semua dinilai. Cara kami berpakaian. Cara kami cakap. Orang belum tau lagi perangai kami sedalam-dalamnya, but already people are judging us, especially the Men, of course. Kana cakap pisau cukur la, slut lah, bitch la, Whoaaa…! Macam2 lagi lah! Jadi kalau kita terpaksa main banding2, actually cabaran kamu tidaklah seberat mana pun. Itu yang makes us women wondering…If ini pun kamu tidak boleh buat, apa lagi yang kamu boleh buat?

Tidak kisah la kamu handsome ka, cunning ka, macho ka, tegap ka – itu semua hal2 fizikal yang mengaburi mata ja. At the end of the day, if kamu hidup cuma berlandaskan nafsu, tanpa pegangan dan prinsip – It's totally denying the values sebagai human being yang bijak dan ada akal fikiran. Totally wasting semua pemberian. Unless you guys tidak kisah, it’s okay la . Just live with it. But untuk sia, hidup cuma sekali. Apa salahnya fight habis2 untuk dapat dapat yang terbaik. Untuk dapat yang terbaik ni, biasanya nda mudah. Kena sacrifice sikit. Tapi, NAFSU kita ni antara cabaran terbesar. Persoalan sudah terjawab. If you guys wondering, apa quality kamu yang makes you stand out? The girls pun mungkin tidak sedar hal ni lagi. Tapi akhirnya, dorang pun mengaku bahawa…It’s YOUR VALUE as a man yang dorang cari tu :)

Do You Have It? :)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Part I: The Value Of A Man

Men – You guys are born with physical strength that women don’t have. This strength pairs with the simpler mind that can think much clearly in difficult situations. Plus, with necessary wisdom, you guys are expected to make decisions that can make things better. That’s why you are expected to be a leader. You guys are born to Take Charge and be the protector, shelter and comforting arms for your loved ones. Imagine, if you guys can’t be all that, What Else can we expect from you?

But the world is getting older. We are not that naïve anymore. Men are in fact the major contributors of the crime statistics. Violence– abuse on women and kids of any kind, even at home where the root of family institution should stand strong. Any kind of emotional, mental and physical abuse that the female can try to withstand. You Men … the same creatures that do the selling and laundering of women – just to dedicate it to your own species. You Men, are the same creatures that molested and raped the women that you don’t deserve and still have the ways to blame the women back. You Men, are the same creatures that sweet-talked and promised the ladies the world, just for those promises to be broken afterwards. You Men, the same creatures keep a few mistresses or another wife or two, without the knowledge of the lady you legally married. You Men, the same creatures that claim that you guys can only love us so much, but still, “1 woman is never enough” – And you claim that you guys are born with desires and needs that need to be satisfied and because of that, “Don’t blame us for this nature.” That we must understand why you can’t say No to all the other ladies whose last name you don’t even know. You tell us that this has nothing to do with love. We women didn’t understand how come you say that you love us, but still you have desires for other women and still claim that you only love us.

We women have hopes for you, Men. We have high hopes for you because of WHAT God created you to be. We believe that Men are not just born to be strong for Nothing. We believe that Men are not just born to be called a Leader, for nothing. As a matter of fact, the mightier you are, the higher our hopes are in you. The women hope that by the time they give birth to a baby boy, he’s going to be a good son. He’s going to be the protector of his little brothers and sisters. And soon, when he goes to school, he will be the class leader, leading his other friends to follow the school rules and disciplines. And be the example of the other friends – in attitudes and also in grades. Yes, that’s the women’s hope for you. And when that boy grows up to be a man, we women hope that you can be a young guy who knows his steps. Mix with the right friends and we hope that you guys can stay strong and not get dragged in unhealthy activities that are done by the teenagers who are not supported by a good family ground. We women don’t know if you are that strong to avoid yourself from bad influences. We don’t know. But we do have hopes for you that that strong arms of yours should come so well with a working brain. And we have concerns for you too. We are concerned if you get a little nasty with your jumping hormones that you might get yourself into troubles. We are concerned that one wrong step could cost you the rest of your life that has initially started so beautifully. We are so concerned about the possibilities that this life bring, give us NO assurance that anyone who starts well will also end up good and well.

And then you guys become adults; matured men with all the experiences and knowledge to add to your points. Here, it’s almost the same with having the ability to put your hand on this world, because with that freaking hands, you can make a difference. The world will have the limelight on you because here is when your real battle begins. We women can be that strong too. But we know you have the advantage because you have to deal with less discrimination and double standards. No one will question you if you are appointed to be a leader. You can go anywhere without having to worry that people trying to take advantage of you. You can mix with more people without too much concerned about your safety because you know you are strong enough to protect yourself. With these less constraints, please don’t question anymore WHY we women have hopes on you.

We hope that you can be a boss that can lead the company to success. We hope that you can make us the good workers under your supervision. As a friend, we hope that you can be a friend that can help us and respect our womanly right in your capacity. We hope that you are in the position to offer your time and energy for us, you will do it because you honour the word friendship. We hope that you respect us as a weaker counterparts and never take advantage of us.

And then when the love knocks your heart, this will add another fun journey to your life. We women hope that you can always be a good lover, as charming as you are when you first start to knock our hearts. We hope that we can build a relationship that is sincere and honest. And as fate would have it, when we become husband and wife, we hope that you can stay truthful to us and mean every vow that you say when we first got married. “For better and for worse, In Sickness and In Health, Till death to us part.” And when we have children, we do hope that you be the best father to these kids that are born from our loving union. We hope that together we will face the obstacles that life throws at us. We hope that we will stay strong together until the end of our lives.

Yes, despite all the hopes we have in you Men, we always know of this one weakness that you guys have. It’s so pity that you guys can be so good in many things, but it only takes a single weakness to bring you down. Suddenly it sounds like a joke, when Men are ruled by Lust. It’s the only thing that they can’t say No to. In a more harsh language, some women said that Men are easily ruled by “their second head” located below the waist. Tell us again that God is fair, or what. When the other head gets the better of them, they don’t even remember their freaking name. It’s in fact the reason that degrades the whole male generation. This is alone, the reason how you guys break our hearts so many different ways. Because of this, You Men simply lose your good judgment. Because of this, you would not mind losing your virtuous ways. Because of this, you Men can simply forget about the people you really love and care. Because of this ALONE…We don’t know if we CAN STILL PUT HOPES on you Men. The history told us that you gonna break our hearts countless ways if you don’t get hold of yourself.

We don’t know anymore if you can be that lover that we hope. We don’t even know anymore if you can be that husband that we hope. We sure don’t freaking know anymore if you can be that father that we hope. Today’s world told us that Men have the records of breaking ALL the rules. Even the case when a Grandpa or father who raped her own daughter/granddaughter is Not anymore an eye-opener. When you break the most sacred man’s role, We Don’t Know what else we can hope on you. We don’t even know if we even dare to hope at all..

To be continued...

Note: In Part II, I will tell you guys a story of a guy who make me want to write this post. And I will tell you guys WHAT is the value or a man. Wait for the second part :)

Monday, November 16, 2009

The Art Of Falling In Love

We all know that people say love is blind. But don’t you think that it’s you who make it blind?

Recently, I had a chat with a friend. He told me about his very short love encounter. It was very brief, like it’s over before it was even started. I asked him about the girl. He didn’t even know her age, and he only saw one pic of her. Oh my…how can you already fall in love? It appears that I know about the girl, much better than him. Even though the girl was just an acquaintant that I had short chat with a few times. My Oh My. Why make it sound like “Falling in love” is that easy?

To me, it’s a degradation of Love. It’s not even falling in love. It’s just entertaining funny thought of, “hey let’s just try it out. This looks like fun from here.” No! You guys can’t do that. Know the person well before you even think about falling in love. I mean, I can’t stop you guys but at least I remind you before you do another silly thing that you would feel embarrassed to remember, or worse yet…add another into you Regrets List. Do you want that to happen?

Anyway, I find that much more convenient than putting it too hard on yourself. That could be even worse. I mean, when you are so particular about things before you want to fall in love, chances are you might never fall in love. That’s even pity!! Hahahaahahahaha.

But my point is…at least Love for the right reasons. As funny as it is, do you guys believe that, one of the reasons that I haven’t told you why I pick this nick Twofivesix[256] as my online identity is because I don’t want anyone to fall in love with me just because of my freaking nick!!! (Hahahaahahahahahahahahaha). True. It’s funny here in the virtual world. People fall in love Blindly. I certainly don’t want to be part of this funny stories anymore. If I use a very cute and girly nick, people will build impression around it. People would think, hey this lady must be as cute as the nick, so on and so forth. And suddenly starts to feel that tingle inside them, as if they have already fallen for me (YeaHH…suddenly they dream of my cute nick smiling and giggling—Oh my, I’m in love with her!!)


My point is, virtual or reality, love is still love. Crush is still crush. If you want to just have fun, it’s okay. You do your way. But don’t break a heart, don’t make someone cry – just because you love for the wrong reason. I mean, do this for yourself. Practice good judgment. I won’t let myself have a crush on someone just because of a cute nick, as much as I don’t think anybody would fall for a nick like [256]?? Haahahahahaahahhahaaha. Come on guys. Know your friend a little better, build good chemistry and maybe something can come from there. At least, give a value to “falling in love”.

Well, who am I to speak. I don’t know much about it too. Maybe the rest of you know better

It’s been a while since the last time I fell in love. Sometimes I wish that falling in love is that easy. But again…Love for the right reasons okay?

Ok good. That’s a lesson for today. Hehehehe

Note: My expected post is still pending. I’m just writing this very short and quick one. I need to finish some work today and tomorrow, only then I will have time to sit and spend quality time to write about a more heavy topic. See ya guys around. Muahssss

Saturday, November 14, 2009

What's Next

Next I will write a controversial topic, filled with immoral issues - And the title would be

The Value Of A Man

I am only halfway writing it because I need to attend other things first. I hope it can be ready for tomorrow. Wait up, peeps.

I have written about A Value Of A Woman now her counterpart. Bear with me. Muahsss all.


Friday, November 13, 2009

Something From Me

Does It Need To Be Sincere?

I have this funny feeling earlier today. This customer of mine was showing a lot of interest to do me a favour. She wanted to do free marketing for me, in line with her next special event. I mean, considering that she has her own stuff to take care of, I couldn’t help but be skeptical about her idea. I mean, what is it all about actually? What could she gain from this?

While I was continuing my work, my fingers were moving fast, but my mind was even faster. I was trying to find the reason WHY she has that in mind, and how could this possibly benefit her? Actually, I could save my time thinking, IF I can just assume that maybe SHE’S JUST BEING SINCERE. I recall that my relationship with her is more than just business. She has shared with me even her private life. I mean, this could easily be the reason why she wants to help out without gaining anything.

This crazy mind of mine still refuse to accept this as pure SINCERITY. I thought that human beings can be nice, but they are never too nice without hidden agenda. I don’t know. I’m worried a bit because I am actually still naïve. I don’t know much about this life and the evil things people can do. I’m still learning. I hate how my mind is polluted with the bad things going around me. I hate to refuse believing that pure good things still exist.

I mean, EVEN IF…Yes, she has a hidden agenda, but it’s clear that I am going to benefit from this, anyway. I can just tap from this opportunity and gain as much as I can, without making it difficult. I can just rest my mind and go with the flow. Hey, she’s trying to help me, why the fuss? Even if she has her own agenda, So What? It doesn’t mean that she has to bring me down in order to gain something from helping me. I mean, Helping Me!? Sounds like I have A LOT to gain. Suddenly I’m wondering why I start this topic in the first place. Isn’t it silly?

At the end of the day, if everyone gains something, Does it matter if this is sincere or not? Try this. What if people are being sincere all the way, but everybody gets nothing but just the soft nice feeling of appreciation that, “Yeah, she’s sincere. How noble.” So why does I make it sound like a “world issue” whether or not she’s sincere about helping me?

I don’t know. And I don’t want to think more about this. This is messing with my brain. Maybe I can choose to be silent and just enjoy the show. I only need to know my steps, if I have a hunch that something is going wrong, then I do something to not get dragged too far in it. Other than that, maybe I don’t have to care that much, whether or not people are sincere towards me. Maybe it doesn’t matter if it’s sincere or not. Cos one thing for sure, people will only do something if it brings something good to them.

But, whether or not it’s sincere…ERKS…

Suddenly I notice that Sincere Or Not --- is not even a right question to ask.

Note: LesS Is More --- Think Less, Gain More. Keep it Simple. End of story.


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