Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My Brunch Today

The portion is too large for one person. Aiyoo...pengsan mau finish. I actually tapau the rest. This is the dish that I would order IF 1) I still feel tired from eating rice or noodles from yesterday , 2) I want to eat something slow than usual *Lols, 3) I want to kill the time. Thank you 256 for sharing the crazy reasons to eat something. *Lols

(You're welcome ... Hahahaaha)

Have a nice Wednesday, everyone :)

Do You Remember What You Forget?

I was having some flashback with Ken about the previous things and we found out that he forgot a lot of things. Ironically, I always name myself as “The forgetful one” because I tend to forget about where I put my stuff and then I even forgot why some names are in my phonebook. But after doing some memory check, actually my memory isn’t bad at all. Maybe I am forgetful about the spontaneous things but I actually remember the moments that even some of the people involved forget about!

After realizing good memories that should be remembered and not exactly remembered by all the people involved in them – makes me thinking that how much Forgetfulness actually takes the Values away from one’s life – by just by forgetting the good moments. Yes!! Forgetfulness actually takes SO MUCH from us, people. Do you realize that?

I remember repeatedly telling Ken that “Rugi oo u tidak ingat” cos I really mean it! Remember all the little magical moments that actually makes you feel the purest of joy –and though they have passed but they continue to live in memories. And Memories only live as long as we still remember them. Imagine how much you are losing if you just forget all of these!

But the painful truth is that – nobody can blame anybody if they don’t remember. Some people are just not good at remembering things and some people are really good with it. I tell you the facts about this. If you fall in either category, you have something to lose and to gain.

The people who remember so much are always tied by the good memories. Sometimes they rely on those memories so much to the extent that it’s hard for them to accept a bitter truth about the present. They tend to be clingy to a relationship that was once a fairytale cos all the good memories are still fresh as if everything just happened yesterday. At this point, it’s advisable that they try to forget the past that is haunting them. So you know sometimes it’s not all bad to forget about certain things. Unfortunately, not everyone is good in forgetting.

On the other hand, you already know what the forgetful people have to lose. Although as if the values of life have been taken away from them by not remembering life’s great details that they have experienced, but at least they are so much easier to move on without having to live with bleeding wounds in their heart. Being strong is becoming much easier because you can always start on a clean slate. Like the saying goes, we must learn to forget the past before we can turn a new leaf.

My conclusion is that – Life is quite fair when it comes to this. Being forgetful or not forgetful is actually making us someone to gain or to lose from it depending on circumstances. So the challenge is we have to live with how we are by knowing how to handle the situations when we might get troubled by it. As for me, I am the type who can remember a lot of things so I already tasted how bitter it is to be bornt this way. I can’t simply forget and move on but the most wonderful thing about this is I can use those memories to Appreciate life and to learn from the little details how to see life as wonderful as it is. But if I come across someone like Ken who tends to forget the details, I won’t complain so much because I know he’s experiencing life’s wonders too, just from the other side. Like the saying goes, “Better to light the candle than to curse the darkness :)”

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

What's Your Breakfast Today?

This was mine. I usually had my Mee Goreng Ayam at a Chinese restaurant (Malay chefs) in town and guess what, I only thought of ordering this menu at this Malay restaurant where I always go to have my brunch. I have tasted almost everything on their menu because I always eat something heavy for breakfast and sometimes my appetite just goes crazy that I don't know what to eat anymore! So I just order anything I can read from the menu board. *Lols. Why it takes so long for me to finally order this very common dish? I really don't have to go so far just to enjoy this dish anymore, and guess what, it's even 50 sen cheaper. How convenient. *giggles.

Breakfast is the meal time when I don't feel guilty by taking any kind of foods because our body needs the food to get energy to start working and then what we eat for breakfast will usually be burnt to produce the energy and heat for us to keep going. So I assume that all the calories I eat on breakfast will totally be gone by the end of the day. Yeah...but the calories from the lunch, the tea time, the dinner, the supper - that's a whole different book guys. Let's not spoil this moment, guys. *Lols.

Have a nice day today :)

Monday, March 29, 2010

A Heart Journal

Have you ever felt being ALONE but never feeling lonely? Like you enjoy the aloneness so much? You CHOOSE to be alone and because you can experience its beauty. Maybe you’re just tired of all the feelings that you can get when you have companies around. All the different ki nds of conflicts they could cause your mind. Alone but not lonely – is something that I realize I enjoy so much. I was just too tired to get into deep with someone so much that eventually leads to devotion of time and energy. I think I’m still tired of all that. I’ve told you guys all the time since I have this blog. I have been tired focusing my energy on certain people and feel the pressured every inch of distracting moves that these people do. I hate how to be emotionally involved could put me into a fragile situation. I just hate it.

I can’t count for how long I’ve been this way. I have turned into a human robot that sometimes – just Emotionless. I have missed the uniqueness of being a human being because my senses weren’t working so well. I can feel people’s warmness, but I could always put a gap so that I could never let them be part of my life. Maybe this is how I’m protecting the peace that I’m still not done enjoying. I thought no one could see anything strange with this. But recently a friend had a serious talk with me about this. She made me realize that I just let myself lost in this solitary. She told that I’ve been overdoing this. How could that be so? I said to myself.

Despite that, I am always lucky because my life is never lonely from nice people. There’s always a way that people can reach to me and tell me that I might think I don’t need them, but they need me. The last pieces oh humanness I have, makes me open a way of connection just to reassure myself that maybe I’m still after all, anything but a robot. I have feelings and I do feel real emotions. I realize that I’ve done many things that make people obey this distance and as painful as it is, maybe I do it all out of selfishness. Maybe I just want to protect myself. Maybe I’m just giving them a pinch of reality that I have a lot of issues with almost anything emotional with my life. Maybe I just don’t want people go there. Yet.

After all said and done, I am feeling a bit strange right now. Suddenly I feel that my shell is getting thinner. Suddenly I feel like crying. Maybe this is how it feels to get my senses back. I always know that I’m not going to enjoy this. I hate being fragile. Suddenly I miss the company that I always get even when I least appreciate it. A heart so dear that I always hurt. A heart that I always put in guilt and accept every bad thing that I offer and overloaded warm expressions that I receive without saying thanks. “We won’t know the value of something until it’s gone.” – Maybe that line is giving me a bite of reality. If yes, maybe I should be grateful cos in my case, it’s not totally gone but just a minor absence. But the absence makes me feel so lonely. Why after a long time, now I remember how it feels to miss someone. Suddenly I don’t even need to be alone to feel this loneliness. Suddenly I want to say sorry for everything that I say and do that might hurt. Suddenly I want to tell that with that kind of company, I can do away without the solitary.

Maybe it’s true when a good friend told me before. Maybe the problem is not with me. It takes one caring undemanding soul to knock all these senses into me. I don’t know if I actually bumped into that soul to finally be feeling this way. In a way, it gives me the creep. In a way, I just want to put my hands together and say a prayer to God cos I think that in a way, this is a heavenly thing I should be thankful for.

Lord, give me wisdom to understand this and may I find the way to handle this as You guide me through.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

If The Shoe Fits...

The modern shoes are so not durable. Sometimes the price is totally depends on the looks of the shoes and nothing else. I have bought shoes that look so good when I buy them, and then they turned into garbage-looking 100-year old shoes in 2 weeks!! Hahahaahahahaaha

My requirements for shoes are quite strange. I can go to all the shoe shops and find none that fit my preferences. I find for high heels that give good balance. Almost all the high heels are beautiful to look at, but so painful to wear. It’s like wearing a sword that is eating your flesh bit by bit. I am the type who likes to wear the same shoes everyday. I will wear the shoes till they wear down. But my habit has changed because none of the shoes of the modern era good enough to carry that duty. I have to keep buying a new pair in short time just to feel unhappy because I just buy any that fit me. It’s not comfortable enough and it’s not durable enough. I found out that even how reasonably expensive the shoes are, they would all end up the same! So it’s better that I buy any shoes that don’t cost so much, look good and at least, comfortable to wear for at least a month – that’s wise enough for me. Cos so far, the type of shoes that I love are nowhere to be found. The last time I found them at Top10, I bought all the last pairs they have. One pair of shoes can last at least A Year with daily heavy duty walking on any surface brutally and heartlessly. (*Lols). So since these type of shoes are now extinct, I have to tolerate with my requirements. I don’t care so much about the look anymore. As long as I can step on it and I can use them to walk a short distant without hurting my feet, I think that’s bingo.

The shoes that I show you are the pair that I am currently using. I just bought this pair 2 days ago. So far I’m surprised that the purchase that I made on rush, turns out to be a good purchase. They are comfortable to wear. They are in shiny black and I feel good when I’m wearing them. The price is also cheap. It’s really a bargain. You’ll understand that you would spend so much on a pair of shoes when you realize that it’s hard to find one that really can be the ones to really fit you. But if you can buy it with cheaper price, would you be silly to refuse? Remember, it’s you who wear the shoes and not the shoes that wear you. You must be able to carry your feet around with those shoes on and NOT limit your movement just because you wear shoes that look good but are killing you softly. Make sure you be like the smiling Cinderella that find the match to the other shoe, Otherwise, you officially let some pair of shoes make a fool of you.

Ladies, Choose To NOT Be The Victim Of Our Own Shoes.

Heheehehehehe… :PP

Did You Ruin Someone’s Day Today?

Do you know that because you’re just too cocky to care about other people, sometimes you end up ruining their good day? And just when you’re wondering why people are acting really strange and sometimes, heartless – maybe you don’t know that it’s you who do it first to them. But only when it hits u back, then only you know it’s going to hurt, Very Badly.

Look before you leap. If you cost someone their good day, most probably they are going to repay you with a slap of reality. If that slap of reality is not going to wake you up from your sleep-walking, it gonna cost you another harsh reality when someone else is going to ruin your day so badly enough to be called a total wreck.

Don’t ruin anybody’s day as much as you don’t want anybody to ruin yours.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Love Guru

Recently, a guyfriend went to ask for my opinion about his love life. And all his problems are not that unfamiliar to me. It’s the same old thing that people have been talking about. And the first one was easy. He came again asking for my opinion on a much harder situation when her ex for 2 years suddenly came back and asking for friendship from him. He asked me Why she did that and How to handle her. Oh man, even that was easy for me. And everytime I gave my answer, he could not object me because my opinion always makes sense. He always ended up saying, “Damn you’re right!” Maybe that’s why he suddenly came up with a new name to refer to me – The Love Guru. Erkss!!!

I smiled to myself thinking that sometimes we are like that. We are so good to give people all the theories that we have learnt, we are so smart to answer all the hardest questions – But when it comes to hands-on, we could be worse than those who are seeking the answers from us. At least it’s true in my case. I suck at handling things with this love thingy. If you ask me many kind of funny questions, more probably I can give you answer that can make u go Wow. But if I have a choice, MAYBE I rather not know the answers to all the questions and I rather not be called a Love Guru. I just want to be a tiny human being who knows just enough to handle her own love life. That’s all.

But this is life. Sometimes you are More on one thing and lack on the other. Sometimes I tend to believe it too much that I think that If I’m good at one thing, I Can’t be good at other things. But this is kinda stupid though. I saw some people who are good in almost everything they do. Why can’t I? Maybe this is just about me restraining myself by thinking that if I’m really good with giving people friend-to-friend counseling, most probably that’s all I’m good in. Maybe I really suck in implementing the ideas myself. Even if this isn’t true, try to save me from this superstition. Save me from the names like Love Guru cos that might make me lose further in my own love dilemma. *Lols. Just kidding. But then, one thing for sure. Thanks for reminding me that the more someone claims that I am somekind of a good counselor, the more I think that I do actually need one too. Hahahaahahahahahahahaha.

I guess that anybody can be the Love Guru to other people’s love life other than his/her own. *giggles

Friday, March 26, 2010

Finally Arguments Beat Happy Moments

If you guys are wondering about this life, I tell you what. Me too. That’s why we are in the process to uncover many of the mysteries as we go by with our days. Let’s once again go into the lovey dovey arena. I have something to share with ya.

Another nice idea that I want to share with you guys is among the checklist that you should do to know if the person is the right one.

I read this recently. According to some study, whether or not a couple is good to go is NOT according to HOW HAPPY they are together. Wow, isn’t that strange?

Instead, it’s better that the couple go into a lot arguments and misunderstandings, cos the more they get into problems, they more they learn to understand each other and cope with each other during times of troubles. Wow, isn’t that logical!?

But you guys sedarkah apa yang kita buat selama ini? Kita lebih pentingkan SIAPA yang boleh buat kita rasa happy, boleh buat kita ketawa dan for us, itulah yang diperlukan dalam hidup kita. But after reading the articles, suddenly sia sendiri terpikir bahawa memang betul pun apa article tu cakap.

You guys imagine. When kita pegi dating, mesti kita mau happy2 saja. Kalau boleh, kita mau stay out of problem. Tidak mau gaduh2 with orang yg kita sayang. Kalau boleh, hal2 kecil tu kita sweep masuk bawah carpet. But according to mereka2 yang sudah spend banyak masa untuk buat kajian, hubungan yang bersandarkan kepada “happy moments” saja ni memang tidak kekal lama.

Logiknya macam ni. Once the couple is married, masa tu baru keluar semua reality kehidupan. Akhirnya kita sedar yang hidup ini bukannya fairytale. Akan keluar macam2 problem itu dan ini. Masalah kewangan, masalah kerja, masalah keluarga – Then masa tu you guys tidak akan ada space untuk mau happy. Masa itu it’s about COPING with your partner how to handle the conflict. If you guys can manage to work together towards the solution and survive the hard times, Yes…you guys are going to make it long :) So sebenarnya, teman untuk ketawa bersama tu memang mudah dicari, tapi teman ketika kita kesusahan memang sangat susah untuk dicari. Adakah partner kita tu akan tetap sayangkan kita kalau dia nampak macamana kucar kacirnya hidup kita ketika dilanda masalah? Adakah dia boleh menerima yang ada masanya kita melatah bila diuji?

So now you know that it’s okay to get into arguments and misunderstanding at times. What important is you guys can find the way out. After everything, if you guys are still there, appreciating each other and decide that he/she is the best one for you, so you know maybe all the arguments make you guys understand and love each other Even More. Oh that’s soo sweet. :)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Would You Want A Smaller Breast?

Earlier today I watched Wanita Hari Ini (12 PM) and the topic is about "XXL Breast (Payudara XXL). This is in fact a very interesting topic for me because I never actually came across talkshows that discuss about the problems revolving around having extra big breast. Yes, we heard about women going extra miles just to have bigger breast. They would do Anything including going under the knife just to make sure that their breast are fuller and plumper. The limelight has been on them for too long already. Have you guys ever thought about those who are already blessed with that big breast that some women can only dream to have? So are they happy about it?

The difficulties that are faced by women who have big breasts include Appearence; when they have to put on larger blouse to make their breast less visible, and they also find it hard to look for clothes since the breast area can sometimes be too tight to fit comfortably. The second one is Health; cos bigger breast weighs more and this is actually an extra burden for the woman to carry around. It will be hard for them to follow sports activity because of the extra weight on the breast which can limit their movement and if they still do it, it will cause strain at the back and shoulders. Socially: They will easily attract men's attention tailing them just to have a glance at their big-sized assets, and some girls don't enjoy this attention. Some nasty ones can even call the ladies embarrassing names that refer to their big breast. Isn't it strange that while some ladies do everything to get big breast, the ones who are blessed with it are getting funny reactions from the society?

One interesting question posed by the host was "How does a woman know if her breast is too big or normal?" Let me guess what you guys are thinking. You must say that if the woman's breast is big enough to fit D cup, Oh that's too big. The answer is very interesting. The doctor say, It Depends. One can fall in D cup but still think it's NOT so big. And some can be in B size and already think it's too big for her. Even THIS is actually Subjective. So according to the Doctor, women define their own breast. You can have a C cup and think that you have a perfect breast when others might think it's too big for your frame.

I found out something behind this talk. We are born the way we do. If we are short, we can only wish to be taller. It's something like that. There's always something that we dislike about our physicals. So the more you want changes on what you have, the more unhappy and unsatisfied you are about yourself. I don't blame you if you feel this way. You're not alone. If you see that smiling lady who is looking really jovial and carefree, even she also has things that she would want to change with her looks. But this is about Acceptance and try to live with "your blessings" openheartedly. Our physicals are only "what's outside". People who are serious about us will see us beyond our physicals. So I think that people who dedicate their life into altering and modifying their body are just Too Unhappy with what they have. Imagine how much energy wasted, anxiety and even unhappiness that cloud their mind and how much time wasted to entertain all those.

I've been there too. But it's really just in the mind. I tend to feel that womanly assets make us What God made us to be, A Female Creature. Whether it's big or it's small - Do you think it actually matters that much when women are losing life over breast cancer? I make a good point if I say that, after all said and done, I would be thankful enough to even have a Healthy breast. I think you ladies should too. :)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Eating Reschedule...

This is quite funny. I started to think that my habit of skipping lunch won't do much good to myself especially after reading tips about maximizing our body fat-burning system. I thought that maybe I should reschedule my eating time.

Yesterday I actually forced myself to eat something at least I don't spend so many hours without food so luckily I have bought some instant foods which I store at my workplace which I almost forgot about. So I grabbed this instant soup, boiled water using electric kettle and cooked this soup. It was very instant and the soup tasted so nice. I ate this soup while I have my customers sitting in front of me. *Lols.

"You have not had your meal?" one of them said to me. I said, "That's the problem. I have had my meal but yet I still need to eat something now." Maybe they had no idea how it finally got me there. I mean, Why do I feel so guilty for not eating? Hehe

At the end of the day, we should remember that Foods are here to keep us alive and only when we are still alive that we can eat foods. I think that the pressure of keeping the weight was way over-rated. Why don't we just go back to the basic idea that we need foods to keep going. Let's not hold our breath or purposely starve of spend our lives in hunger just to keep the weight down. This is all starting to sound like crap. Just bear in mind that Anything Too Much Is Not Good so it's important to have some rules of moderation. Other than that, it's Okay To Eat!! Don't you guys think so?

I also believe that people give different reactions to foods. Like me, I skip lunch because lunch makes me feel sleepy-- the very bad kind of sleepy that I could just close the door and lay on the carpet. *Lols. Yeah, That Bad actually. If I am at home, I will not skip my lunch. The problem is, I have not spent any of my lunchtime at home for so so long. And this No-lunch policy isn't doing anything good to my weight either. I just have to find another way to avoid feeling sleepy rather than skipping lunch cos in a way, this habit spells disaster for my whole diet cos I usually eat so much at nite cos I want to replace the food I should have eaten at lunch. Isn't that crazy?

Mushroom soup or anything, I really need to do some eating reschedule and we'll see what happens from there. *giggles

What does your day of birth say about you?

I took this test on Facebook and this is the result.

TwoFiveSix[256] was born on a Tuesday.

Charming and graceful. Love to indulge in creative stuff. Joyful attitude towards life. Unpredictable at times. Peace lover. A good motivator. Sympathetic. Trustworthy. Very generous.

NOTE: Not bad. At least there are elements which are very true about me. Maybe you guys should do it too just to see if it's enough to know your characters from your birthday alone.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Why Skipping Lunch Is Not That Good

No Lunch policy like me? Hehehehe. Oh well. If you do it because you think that can help you shed the pounds, maybe it’s not helpful.

What I read from the Biggest Loser tips, skipping meals is not good for weight loss. It’s because even if you have stuffed enough food for you to feel full all day, not having meals for many hours would lead your body into “thinking” that you’re in hunger. So it stores calories for you instead of burning them. So it’s suggested that we break the big breakfast meal into smaller ones, and yes, it’s okay to have meals every 2 hours cos that actually gives the body the order to keep burning more and more calories. So now I understand why holding back from foods don’t always work. Cutting meals from 1 plate to 1 spoon will help us to lose the weight but from what I learn, our body can have “revenge” if you change your meal portion as sudden as that. The weight loss isn’t gonna stay and is coming back twice. It’s all about playing the “mind game” with our body. We have to make our body response the way it should benefit us. Maybe that explains why some people eat so much and still don’t gain weight compared to those who always watch how much they eat everyday. Oh that’s tiring.

Another thing is about metabolism. Metabolism is the ability of our body to burn calories. It differs from one person to another. One tips from the Biggest Loser is – Drinking plain water can certainly help to increase metabolism. I mean, Ouch? Plain water, are you sure? Yes, but people like me don’t find that simple. I’m not used to drinking a lot of plain water so it’s like a torture to me. But since it’s the innocent plain water, I can talk down my body to accept at least a bottle of big mineral water in a day. The last time I did that, I certainly felt so much better with my body. I don’t know why. I have the impression that my body is hydrated, it keeps me away from binge and unhealthy craving and I think that water just makes us go back to the old way when people don’t have sweet drinks to quench their thirst and guess what? They lived longer. *giggles.

Oh, another tips please. Do you know that we have to cheat our brains to help us lose weight too? That is a simple White Lie. Just save your money from buying bigger plate cos you should settle for a smaller one. Fill it with food you like and your brain will get cheated into thinking that you have eaten A Lot so it sends the signal to your whole body that “Yup, I’m Full Now” when u actually eat ¼ of your normal portion. This way, your brain doesn’t notice that you actually cut your meal but you still feel full. The good news is, less calories are going inside your body which will result Less fat transformation and before you know…You’re Fit again… Oh yayy… hahaahahahahaha.

When your brains and your body are not given sudden cut-meal shock which will mess your system, the possibility of you to retain the new weight is very high. It’s because your body has learnt how to accept the new eating environment without fighting back. Cos from what I heard, holding back food in an unhealthy way will cause in funny reactions that makes your metabolism drops to the floor and pumped more calories and fat in your body. Ouch… Then you know what to do. This advice is also for me cos like you, I also want to lose weight for Health and NOT looks. (Hahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha) Lets together use the tips for better HEALTH okay? Hehehehehe.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

How To Help Someone Forget You...

Anything strange? I’m sure at least one time in your life, you would need to do this strange kind of favour – that is helping someone to forget you! Erkss! strange as it is. In what scenario that we need to do something like that? Doesn’t everyone want to be remembered? Why do we need to help someone forget us? Ok..ok.. I have the answer. Sometimes life isn’t so sweet being together. Being in each other’s mind is only a poison to “moving on” with your life. And you need to move on for a greener pasture. This happens a lot when a chemistry ceases to happen.. When the love is gone. When the feelings are fading away. When two persons decide to part ways and find a new life. How is that possible when at least either one is still clinging to the past? How is that possible when the other one keeps bringing up the past memories to stop the other one to move on?

Whether it’s the guy or the girl could be the clingy one. I could easily blame the girls because of their softer nature; so they tend to be clingy. But maybe not always the case. The guys can be clingy too. So it depends on case by case basis, anyone could be the one who NEEDS this help. Yes, the person needs your help in order to… forget you. Yes, forget you.

Have I ever be the one who needed this help? I could say, Yes, I have. Only once. And that’s all I could take. In my case, I don’t actually want to forget the person, though I need to. I was feeling very comfortable living with my past memories. But I was making it harder for the other person to move on. The person needed to forget me to stop getting hurt. It depends on how you look at things, actually. So he needed me to forget him as much as he wanted to forget me. This was what he did.

Answer To NOTHING.

Whether it’s phonecall, SMS, email – Anything for that matter. If you want to make it even easier – Change all the contacts that makes the person easily drop you a “bomb note” with the message, “I have not moved on, so you can’t too.”

Yes, even if he had to do it in pain. In tears. But he had to do it.

If things were working out. No conflicts and heartache would even take place in the first place. So since something untoward has happened, getting haunted by the past gonna hold you in that heartache forever.

If you have found your way, let it be one last kindness. Help your ex to forget you.

Your ex will feel hurt at first…but trust me, he/she will thank you for helping him/her to forget you.

Note: You guys can’t be together, so there’s no point of holding on. There are many fishes in the sea. If you can’t make your decision on moving on, you always gonna be a life jacket for your ex – A jacket that has no life but save the life of others and others only come to get you when they need you. Think about it.

Friday, March 19, 2010

"Please Remind Me"

When my days are down, the world seems to crush down on me. I see darkness. I see sadness. I see hopelessness.

Yes, times like that do come occasionally. I’m just a normal human being. Sometimes I do feel very lacking and so insufficient. Sometimes I do feel like I’m the most unfortunate person I know. Sometimes I feel like I’m just another laughingstock to the world. Sometimes I feel like whatever I’m working for is just a-total-loss of time.

During those hard moments, suddenly I feel loneliness despite being inside a big crowd. Sometimes I feel like the most awkward person in the universe. Sometimes I feel like my life is loveless. Sometimes I feel like nobody cares what’s going to happen to me. I don’t even believe that anybody would ever spend a second missing me.

But only those times that all the thoughts come to me. Where were the thoughts come from?

Cos other than those times, I feel that I have the life that I want. I feel that I am surrounded by great people who appreciate me. I feel that I have used all my talents and abilities to make a living. I feel that I have a worthy life that I should have paid for all the regrets and mistakes I had in the past. So just in case the days are down again and all the negativity starts to take over my being, I hope that I have people who can remind me that those thoughts are not real. I am just temporarily blinded by the evil element of my brain. It’s just so funny when something is still the same, but the way we see them differs in a split second. This tells us even more that when we see things as they are, then only they become so. If we know we have a choice of making our life more meaningful, maybe we don’t waste our time and energy grieving over things that are actually blessings in disguise.

This is why I write this to remind myself once again that despite feeling that my life is empty and meaningless during my bad days, I want to declare that at this moment, in my totally sane mind without the influence of hormonal imbalance and evil whispers – I want to remind myself that...

I Love The Life I Am In and all the shortcomings in my life now are caused by my weaknesses and once I manage to overcome them, maybe I can consider myself living my most wondrous dream :)

Please remind me that … Thanks :)

In The Same-Sex World Of Their Own

The scenario of someone attracted to the same sex person is not that unheard anymore. We speak too much of gays and lesbian and homosexuals and what not. I have written about this topic before. I said We shouldn’t blame them. They DON’T want that to happen too if they can do it the normal way. I said that No one would pick to fall in love with someone from the same sex. But now I am not sure if I still agree with that statement. Are you sure that people don’t do it For Fun? Are you sure that the Same-Sex attraction is not to be blamed on genetic or anything natural? Why it becomes like A Trend? Why does it start to sound like Experimental? Or Adventure? Seriously. I think this scenario is worsening.

Are you surprised when I say that the common reason why people who are not born lesbians/gays become one because they fail to have a proper relationship with a partner from the opposite sex?

Is it acceptable to you when those who lose faith in the opposite sex might just turn to the same sex to get the dose of affection and attention? So is Heartache an enough reason to be One Of Them in this same sex sexuality world? It’s definitely easier. I know one girl who had it enough with guys. From being sexually abused when she was a child to failed relationships with different guys. She quit hoping for a better man. She then tries out with some tomboy and simply share bed with the knowledge of the parents since that they thought it was innocent. I know it’s not as innocent as her parents think. This girl is still very young to know her conducts. From the way she talked about becoming a lesbian, I can tell she’s very enlightened to become one and very much into the sexual too. Becoming a lesbian looks like a fun option to her. You go out with a female. You can share bed without your parents questioning so much. You can have fun all you like without the risk of getting pregnant. If you ask her if she is born with the tendency to be romantically involved with the same sex, she has a clear answer. But now SHE CHOOSES to try out same sex relationship because of the heartache. Now you see that if this can happen to her, a similar thing can happen to many girls out there. I just want to let you guys see how this is becoming like a trend. For many reasons, when the girls fail to have a proper relationship with a guy, they make this Same Sex relationship as an option. I have read the same thing from men. When they are frustrated with the opposite gender, they turn to the same gender. Can we just let this thing happen and make this world go berserk?

I’m not here to give the verdict or to try and correct anything. It’s your sexuality, it’s your freedom. If you’re cursed with the tendency to only get attracted with the same sex, maybe there’s not much u can do. But in the case when you make this same sex relationship an experiment or escapade, nobody can tell u otherwise because u have the power to your own life and body. The only thing I’m concerned is when you do it because you lose faith in love. I think it’s such a weak reason to becoming another freak of the same sex world. I think that you’re making your life more complicated that way. If things don’t work out, relax and enjoy your singleness. Why the rush? Love will happen again when it’s time. You people make the rest of them think that this world is short of love and compatible people that you can share proper relationship with. It’s NOT true. My last line would be – If you can have a normal proper life, why choose to have it differently?

It doesn’t have to be more complicated than it already is :) Think about it.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

One Great Way To Learn A Man

One obvious way to learn a man is how he speaks of the ladies in his life. How he speaks of his ex girlfriend(s) to the things that he comments about his female friends and the female that he saw on the street. He couldn’t hide so much because from how he see things with other women is how we gonna see things with you.

If he complains that the female friend’s butt is too big for her, you know he’s doing the same ridiculous observation on your body contour . If he thinks that a female is “not that pretty because her chin is too slanted”, that means he would find a way to evaluate you so much on your looks. If he comments that the lady who just passes by looks really funny wearing a slipper at town, u know that he cares about the silly details of how you gonna make impression with other people with how to present yourself in public.

The words that he speaks about the other women will also show you how much he would respect a lady. If he speaks about his mom and sisters in the most respectable manner, you know that you will earn that respect too if you become someone special in his life. So the guys can pretend to see you like a princess in the early stage of courtship, he couldn’t mislead you anymore than he already did before he started giving comments about the other ladies in his life.

For me personally, if he has to go against me to protect and to stand by the important women in his life from getting bad reviews from me, this is actually A Very good sign that this man will stand by my side and this man will also fight for me if I become part of his life. Yes, I don’t mind if he has to almost lose the relationship with me because at the end of the day, we ladies realize even more that sugar-coated words are only a man’s sword to win our heart at the beginning but how he gonna treat us in the long run is what matters more. If one day he has to pick between you and her sister, it’s a good sign that he picks his sister. You can see it right away how he sets priority in his life and he must be really rational to know that Family Must Come First and a responsibility towards his family is number one; even if he has to put his romantic relationship on the line. If this man becomes your husband one day, you’ll know why you should be thankful for that.

So men…it isn’t hard to read you guys actually. You can’t pretend to be a Prince Charming if you can’t even speak the right language to your own mom. We know we have to decide once again if it’s worth it to spend another year with you trying to figure out what kind of a life partner you would become.

So…Treat The Ladies Nicely, you guys… :)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Get Hyper To Kick Start The Day!

Reminder: Turn off the background music of my blog by pushing the lower pink button at my MP3 player. Please help yourself k... :)

I lurve dance music. I received a lot of complains my whole life for tuning music too loud than what their ears can take. *Lols. I remember the last time my big bro called me, he said, "Ui, kau di disco ka apa ni?" But I was actually at the office. *Lols. I would put this video for those who need some mood-lifting - Cheer Up People. :)
The music is good, but the video is kinda funny to me at first impression. Hahaahaha. Anyway, just layan the music la okay guys.

NOTE: I know Ken loves this kind of music too so this goes to you... Yes I remember that today is your offday. *Lols

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Something That Makes "Terrified" Feels Good

NOTE: To begin watching, Click the pink button (the bottom one) on my Mp3 player (The circle thing on the right side of this blog - Yes, that's my MP3 player) so the background music can stop playing when u watch this video. Always do the same if you want some peace as u visit my blog. This world is just too full of good music, people :)

She was the first Idol 9 contestant that caught my eyes by her singing. I fell in love with the song right away. Just wanna share this video so u guys can find out if we have the same taste or not. *giggles.

How Personal Is Your Handphone?

Today began with a disaster. I found out that my other handphone was missing. Something was really wrong. Suddenly the morning wasn’t so bright anymore. I looked all over, almost with watery eyes…Where’s my handphone???

I paused and thought for a few seconds – What should I do Now??? Suddenly I thought that I could not go with the day. All my initial plan to start doing my work was reset back to zero. I could not go without that handphone. What did I most concern about?

I realized that if the handphone was empty, I would not care that much. It’s the content of the handphone that made me feel like it belongs with me and only with me. It’s only by then I realized how PERSONAL my handphone is for me. I could not just pass my handphone to people and let them use it all they like. And now what if that happens accidentally?

Maybe that’s the price of being someone who is so reserved – I don’t usually share with people about my private stuff. It’s from the gadget that I often bring that has all the answers. But the problem is, once the gadget goes to the wrong hands, they will know a lot of my private matters. A total violation to my privacy. I am the type who likes to keep as much stuff possible because I really appreciate all the nice things people sent to me, and in this case, the text messages. So from my handphone, u definitely know if someone is special or not in my eyes. I will keep hundreds of SMS from the same name which to me are personal. My goodness. So that explained why I went haywire this morning?

To some people, this habit might definitely teach them a lifetime lesson. I remember many years ago that my ex called me during odd hour and he was so panicked asking me – “Could u please call my number cos I think I’ve just slipped the handphone somewhere.” I could remember that tone as if someone’s life was in danger. I called it but the line was off. So it was obvious that someone took the phone and remove the sim card. My ex told me that he put a lot of personal stuff including my pictures and his family. “So u mean other person has all the pictures now?” It’s such a bad feeling when something that you thought would be your personal possession is shared with the people who are not even anyone in your life. I mean, the feeling is so bad that u got really phobia about saving things in your handphone . Suddenly you feel that it’s crucial to not rely on any gadget to get in touch of the pieces from your loved ones. Suddenly you feel that maybe it’s impossible, but you have your memory and your warmest thought where u store all the nice memories of your loved ones, and not in the gadget like a handphone that could change hands by accident.

So is it wise to keep your handphone very personal? Of course it’s obviously NOT WISE to do so, but if you still want to challenge yourself that you gonna take care of it as carefully as your take care of your body and soul, maybe that option is viable. Hehe. I found out that after my ex lost his precious handphone, he never looked at his handphone as something “very dear” to him anymore. So he had to be heartless by deleting all the messages so that there’s no message left in the Inbox in the name of – “Trying to keep my privacy protected”. Come to think about it, I mean, do you have to deny the right and need to store the everyday thing that comes from your loved ones thinking that “it would be easier the next time should I lose it again.” Ouch??

Personal or not – Take good care of your precious handphone okay? :)

Note: The lesson I learnt today is – My clumsiness can cost me more than the price of a new handphone :) The good news are – My handphone is here back in my hand. Privacy still intact? Hopefully. Phewww… *Lols

Monday, March 15, 2010

IRC & LoneLiness: Anything In Common?

I initiated a topic at the chatroom yesterday by asking them a question

“Why do people who have a good life still spend time on IRC frequent enough?”

I received many feedbacks from them.

One chatter said, “Life is not complete without going online for a day. It’s an addiction.”

Another chatter said, “It’s just a way to skip the normal way of socializing but still “hang out” with the friends.”

Then I repeated the question just to make sure they understand what I meant.

And the other chatter said, “If one goes to IRC, there’s no way that the person has a Life.”


Just want to share with you the interesting answers that I received from private messages from different chatters. They came out with answers like:

1. They want to flirt and having fun

2. They are looking for sexual pleasure (?)

3. They are looking for someone to commit infidelity with

4. They are just fooling around

5. They are taking a break from everyday’s life hassle

The answers like “Looking for real friendship” does sound like too old-school and some agreed that “There’s no way you can find true friendship in the cyberworld.”

I definitely disagree. If you look for one, you’ll find one. Two people with the same intention bump into each other, yes they can bring that friendship to reality. We have many living proofs even in this modern era. No more questions. It’s proven.

I realize that very few people would admit that they go to IRC because of Loneliness. They have their families, they have their friends and some even have spouse and lover, but still there’s an empty space inside them that are yet to be filled. Maybe IRC is just a way for them to see the chance if that empty space could be filled. I don’t know you. You figure out :)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Why Sabahans Suka SMS-Vote?

Dalam banyak2 pertandingan SMS di Malaysia setakat ni, mau tidak mau akhirnya semua orang mendapati bahawa kalau ada peserta dari Sabah, confirm undian SMS dia memang meletup. Daripada Akademi Fantasia, Mentor, Bintang RTM, One in A Million dan yang baru2 ni, Raja Lawak. Semuanya pernah menyaksikan how A Sabahan diangkat melalui undian SMS. What do you think?

Reality show yang first di Malaysia iaitu Akademi Fantasia knows better. Since this program menggunakan 100% SMS vote, keputusan berada di tangan pengundi SMS. Since the days of AF Season 2 where beberapa peserta dari Sabah dipilih menjadi peserta, maybe di sana lah baru the whole Malaysia nampak betapa Sabahans ni memang undi secara habis-habisan. Kita sudah pernah nampak program reality di Malaysia ni yang juaranya adalah orang Sabah – Stacy, Juara AF Musim Ke-6, Ayu Juara One In A Million Musim ke-2, Pijah dan Fiq Juara untuk Mentor untuk musim yang berturut-turut dan yang baru2 ni adalah kumpulan Kecik yang jadi juara Raja Lawak. I also remember macamana Marcellus Gatisi dan Zizie yang tidak mendapat tempat di 3 kedudukan utama untuk Bintang RTM, tapi dorang ni dapat juga habuan sebagai peserta Paling Popular yang berdasarkan undian SMS. Sia yang orang Sabah dan tidak terikut-ikut dengan demam mengundi ni, kadang2 terpikir juga. Sabah ni kalau mengikut statistic kemiskinan tegar, adalah negeri yang Paling Miskin di Malaysia. Ouch!!!

Untuk mereka yang belum pernah datang ke Sabah, maybe dorang pun a bit skeptical pasal Sabah. Maybe dorang sudah biasa dengar yang Sabah ni miskin, banyak hutan2 dan gunung ganang, dan kaum etnik yang berbagai, masih banyak kawasan pedalaman yang jauh dari pembangunan. Belum lagi dengar bahasa Sabahan kami yang pekat dan a bit melucukan bagi telinga2 yang baru sekali dengar. Satu kali dengar, macam orang Indon. Dengan gambaran2 ni semua, mungkin ada yang berpikir, memang pun tahap pemikiran orang Sabah ni maybe a bit backward sebab system pendidikan di sini maybe terikut-ikut dengan “slowness” daripada bidang2 yang lain juga. Jadi, tidak hairanlah memang selalu sia dengar oran g Sabah yang kasi cerita mcamana dorang jadi panas sebab bila sampai di Semenanjung, dorang di tanya dengan soalan2 like, “Kamu di Sabah masih tinggal di atas pokok kan?”. Mungkin soalan dorang tu ikhlas, sebab dorang memang totally tidak tau apa yang they can expect from Sabahans. Tiba2…sepa sangka, bab2 undi SMS ni the Sabahans jadi satu FORCE yang sangat kuat! Sampaikan semua org buka mata. Huiyooo…Mau untung ka? Kasi masuk saja tu peserta Sabahans, confirm melambung undian SMS! Uikss!! Like that ka?

The latest season of AF ni seolah-olah “ikut arus” sebab first time ada 4 peserta Sabah yang disenaraikan. Sebenarnya popularity program AF ni memang tidak dinafikan semakin berkurang atas macam2 sebab. Biasalah…kalau season semakin meningkat, benda2 semakin boleh diramal. Komen2 pun macam cliché saja. Semuanya benda yang lebih kurang saja. Budak bakat2 baru tu tidak bagus, or juri tidak bagus or pengacara tidak bagus, but memang adat nya macam begitu. Sedangkan the most watched reality show in the word iaitu American Idol pun dijangkakan menghitung hari untuk menuju kepada doomsday. Apa lagi dengan pengunduran Simon Cowell untuk season yang akan datang. So kalau mau ditengok dengan scenario di Malaysia alone, if you have the power to bring back the Fever, what would u do? Or maybe if you can’t, at least you still want to bank as much profit as possible. Untuk AF sendiri, it’s a profit-based program. Tidakkah pemilihan ramai peserta Sabah tu satu lifeline untuk dorang? Face it people. We the Sabahans know it. You guys know it too. I read from a website yang bagi komen pasal pemilihan ramai peserta Sabah untuk AF tahun ni kerana “Orang Sabah Suka Undi SMS”.

Sebagai Sabahan, ada one thing yang the non-Sabahans should know about us. Maybe ada betulnya negeri kami ni memang a bit backward dari segi pembangunan. Why Sabah masih mundur? Kenapa sia perlu jawab sedangkan itu adalah wakil rakyat punya kerja. Rakyat biasa mcm sia ni yang spend bertahun-tahun belajar a little bit or this and that, I don’t know if you guys agree with me when I say that the model for 1Malaysia, in terms of spirit, are the Sabahans. I remember back in uni when I learnt about semangat KeKitaaan instead of semangat KeAkuan. Here in Sabah, we have mixed culture. Kawin campur yang sangat2 berleluasa. I think we have learnt to accept one another as part of “us” and not, You are You, Me Is Me. Kami tidak mudah melatah hal2 sentimen yang menjejaskan hubungan sesama manusia. Sepa sangka, dalam kemunduran ini, kami lebih toleransi dan very open about penerimaan kepada satu2 bangsa yang berlainan. Begitu juga dengan agama. Manalah tau kalau kepelbagaian etnik dan pengekalan adat yang masih kuat yang menyebabkan kami slow sikit dalam istilah kemajuan yang dipakai secara general, but sepa sangka, ini pula yang bagi kami kelebihan. Tahukah kamu betapa pentingnya perkara tu untuk mengekalkan keamanan di Malaysia?

So if it has to be yang undian SMS ni la yang how we show people yang the Sabahans are very supportive, so be it. Sepa tau, undian SMS is how these Sabahans voice dorang niat yang terbuku di hati to let the Malaysians know that We Exist and we are very much alive, we are Happy in our Land and we are very much moving forward. Speaking of Sabahans yang sudah menang sebab dibantu undian SMS ni, I’m sure the Sabahans pun undi pakai otak juga. If you look juara2 Sabahans ni – memang pun dorang tu bagus. Kemenan gan dorang adalah pilihan bijak and I’m sure, untuk Sabahans yang sudah menang tu, bukan undi Sabahans saja yang menangkan dorang. I’m sure until the rest of the people from Peninsular pun ada juga undi mereka ni. And the Sabahans pun unquestionably akan undi juga peserta2 best dari negeri lain. For me, memang betullah undian SMS ni is the way for the Sabahans to show to everyone that biarpun kami jauh di Borneo, tapi we are much more than what those people say. Maybe we just want the whole Malaysia to know that you should look at us any less because some of us are very talented, some of us are very gifted and some of us are also very lucky – just like Some people from Peninsular. So di antara kita Tiada Beza.

NOTE: You want to feel how peaceful it is without so much of sentiment and racism? Go to Sabah, you’ll learn the rest :)

Saturday, March 13, 2010

A Fairytale Story-Teller That Never Was

Pernah dengar cerita cinta yang almost like a Fairytale? Wujudka Fairytale di alam reality?

Ada sorang customer-turns-friend yang selalu lepak2 sama sia. Dia ni Nampak sangat average. If orang2 yang judgmental memang akan bagi dia ni not-so-good review sebab her penampilan very sempoi dan quite selekeh actually. Dia ni suka juga cerita macam2. Sometimes her story memang a bit like “too good to be truth” but memang setakat yang sia dapat ingat dan dengar, almost all her stories memang tidak bertindih. So all that while sia memang No Prejudice dengan semua story2 dia, biarpun ada yang terlampau dasyat dia punya 18SG atau 18SX. Yang paling tragis cerita dia sendiri watch sexual harassment di lift yang berlaku kepada sister dia and how her sister was traumatized. Terlampau dramatic pula. Kalau satu kejadian saja, nda apa juga. Tapi terlalu banyak kejadian yang dikira overdose dan betul2 significant untuk diingat.

Actually being a good listener ni pun bukan senang. Sometimes sia pun terpikir juga adakah sia cuma buang masa dengar cerita dongeng dorang or memang some people ni betul2 ada life yang begitu dramatic macam satu storybook yang diolah dengan begitu menarik sekali. From her story, dia tidak juga tinggi diri. Bad experience dia diceritakan dengan begitu baik dan logic sekali. Her love stories pun mcm tu juga. Ada macam2 lelaki yang cuba approach dia and how she ends up dengan her husband now. Tapi memang dlm cerita berkaitan lelaki2 ni la yang bikin dia “kantoi” dengan sia tadi. Sia sudah catch satu point of story dia yang bercangggah. Sia geleng kepala ja. So, is she another compulsive fairytale narrator ka? Like it’s an illness to make up stories dengan orang2 yang tiada kepentingan pun untuk bagi her anything from the made-up fairytales. Can I ask again, WHY? I don’t understand.

Her lovestory was almost a fairytale cos the guy that she didn’t get to marry was like so crazy in love with her. Sampaikan dat guy sudah bawa her pegi ambil gambar kawin di Yes, I Do di Penampang. Dorang ambil pakej RM1999. Semuanya memang logic untuk setakat itu. Dia cakap that studio kasi hadiah dorang kek kawin dua tingkat lagi dan dorang makan berdua saja di tepi pantai. Sia belum pernah dengar ada studio pengantin yang kasi hadiah kek kawin dan terus bagi that kek lepas ambil gambar. And then, masa makan kek tu dat guy almost bawa dia pegi register kawin. Setau sia bukan u senang2 datang and register. But since dia nda mau, so dia kasi kawan sia ni cincin. Cincin Couple yang kalau disambung barulah bentuk Love tu lengkap. But biasanya masing2 simpan yang sebelah tu ba kan? But dia simpan dua2. Memang hairan. So di bahagian yg dia betul2 kantoi is when dia cakap pasal gambar kawin tu. Not fair juga dia simply reka cerita and waste my time dengar ba kan? Maybe her memory is quite good, but mine is better than hers. Dia lupa yang a few months back dia bagitau sia dia teda gambar kawin yang diambil di studio gara2 itu studio Everbest punya cameraman lupa pasang flash, so gambar dorang semua gelap. Dorang siap minta balik duit. I still remember her story time tu sebab I asked her if dorang ada take pic studio for wedding package. So she was trying to tell me yang dorang ada pegi ambil but gambar tu rosak. She didn’t say “We don’t have the budget”. Nevermind. But tadi, bila dia sebut pasal sudah ambil wedding shots tu dengan her old lover yang she didn’t get to marry, she suddenly sambung that cerita yang kununnya masa dia kawin dengan husband dia tu, that cameraman terkejut tengok muka dia datang untuk ambil gambar di studio tu lagi, tapi dengan lelaki yg berbeza. Dia terpaksa bisik2 dengan that cameraman yang lelaki yg lama tu bukan husband dia. And dia sempat lagi suruh dorang kasi masuk gambar dorang yang kena display dalam album sample. Sebelum husband dia tu Nampak. Nahh…sense the mistake?? Ertinya dia just claim yang dorang take pic di Yes I Do juga!! Sedangkan a few months back dia cakap dorang ambil di EverBest yang kununnya gambar dorang rosak. Patutlah sia heran kenapa professional punya photographer boleh lupa pasang light? Kalau pun lupa, mesti nice juga tu cuma lighting effect ja yang berbeza. Rupanya ni semua cerita rekaan saja dari mula lagi . Kalau sudah cakap pasal rekaan, confirm la itu tiang studio pun dia cakap runtuh masa sedang2 ambil gambar. Aduiiii….WHYYYY??

Sia sudah pernah nampak ILLNESS yang macam ni. SIa pernah ada kawan seorang yang Obsessed with STEALING and then since 2 years ago sia ada kenal dengan the single mother yang Obsessed with LYING. Dorang punya obsession ni memang sangat strange. Yang si pencuri tu akan mencuri biarpun dia tidak berada dalam kesempitan. Dan yang menipu tu akan kasi twist cerita biarpun dengan orang2 yang tiada kepentingan pun dalam penipuan tu. And then this one lagi satu Fairytale story-teller yang tidak pun memerlukan impression yang baik dari sia, yang cuma seorang yang dia baru kenal. Whoa… Kalau sia mau tanya, Kenapa obsession yang pelik macam ni boleh wujud? Adakah yang boleh jawab?

Daripada sia pening2kan kepala, bagus sia jaga hal tepi kain sia ja. Memang manusia ni betul2 pelik. Kita sebagai orang yang deal dengan dorang ni, kena pandai buat apa yang patut supaya obsession dorang tidak menyusahkan kita cos kalau mau harap kita kasi betul dorang, kita sendiri pun belum tentu lagi terlepas dengan Obsession yang pelik2 macam tu. So senang cakap macam ni sajalah…Masing2 pandai cari bahagia. Jangan sampai menyusahkah orang lain dan disusahkan oleh orang lain cukuplah.

NOTE: Yang Si Fairytale Story Teller tadi ni sebenarnya sudah wasted my time juga but sia halalkan saja lah. Siok juga ba tu macam dengar cerita fairytale sekali sekala kan. Hahahaahahahaahaha.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Remember The Meaning Of FREE!!

A few days ago, the Celcom Broadband agents came to my workplace. “Free Modem, Free Modem!,” said one of them as they were making ways towards my desk. I still remember the way the girl waved that modem, as if she could just throw it away and didn’t care a bit. Since I am currently using Digi Broadband, I saved them time from giving me long lecture. I said, “I know it all already. Plus, I’m using Digi now.” I remember talking to a few agents at a shopping mall just to make sure I am making the better choice by picking Digi. “But we are giving modem for FREE now!” They insisted to be given the chance to speak and maybe make me change my mind. The word FREE is very soothing to my ears. “Okay, tell me what you mean by FREE.” I was trying to find out if we were talking about the same kind of FREE here.

“This modem is usually very expensive. Now we are giving it for free. You only need to pay RM100 for the registration and only pay for RM68/98 monthly for the usage,” the girl explained as the guy standing up nodding whenever I turned my face at him. “Oh, so this modem is mine if I pay RM100?” I asked curiously. The guy answered, “Yes, BUT you have to use this service for at least 1 YEAR then only the modem is yours. If not, you have to return the modem back.” I almost laughed. “So do you mean this modem is NOT FREE?” They both trying to snap and said, “It’s free. We are giving it for free now without charge.” I said, “That is still not free if I am tied by a “hidden” contract that I must use this service for 1 year then only this modem is mine.” They went silent. I know some customers are as cruel as I am. They are being very difficult. I understand what they mean and what’s the advantage of the new promotion. The older customers have to pay more than the monthly usage if they want to buy the modem separately. Ok, I know all about it. But I was purposely being difficult because I hate how these salespeople have misled those who buy the magic word “FREE” at first hand. As a matter of fact, in that case of Free Modem, I already caught them red-handed. When I first registered with Digi, I paid exactly the monthly fee of the first month since I bought the modem separately. I am bound by no contract. I can stop using if I have failed to pay the outstanding balance of maximum 2 months. But with this new so-called Free Modem by Celcom promotion, I have to pay RM100, which is already extra to any plan whether it’s 68 or 98. With the little different there, most of you would snap at me, “Hey, they are doing business ba 256, memang la ba macam gitu. Manada mau kasi betul2 Free ba.” EXCUSE ME. If it’s not FREE, then don’t claim that it’s free. We all know how business works. But to LIE or NOT is still a choice to make. An extra of RM1 will automatically nullify the meaning of FREE. So do you still want to tell me this is not misleading?

I remember when my mom was approached by a few agents at a shopping, about doing a lucky draw. So my mom did it was they said she was VERY LUCKY because her prizes totaled at least RM2K. They were some mini theater and other expensive electrical appliances. Anybody would be happy to be in my mom’s place that time. So they were actually trying to lift up my mom’s delight by emphasizing that “You have just won yourself these gifts.” Do people who get gifts take out money to pay for the gifts? No, right? If it’s not FREE, it’s not GIFTS. Agree? But then my mom was told that she MUST BUY any of the electrical appliances they are selling and then ONLY she can entitled to receive the gifts. Any item would cost around RM2K also which was Very Expensive but then she can pay in installments. My mom was about to agree because they agents were all set to bring all the gifts to the car if only my mom decided to do the purchase. Luckily my sister saved her from getting CHEATED. "Something is not right." Recently, my cousin spoke of the same thing to me how she was approached and being VERY LUCKY to be entitled to receive expensive gifts but she could only get them IF she purchases any of their products which also cost more than RM2K. I shouted at her, “DON’T!!!!!! Are you silly ka?” She found out that she doesn’t need ANY of the electrical goods that are listed as the prizes, and also any of the items that she can choose to buy before she receives the goods. “You gonna pay for the stuff you thought are gifts and you don’t even need any of them and you use extra RM2K just to make a purchase you don’t plan for the things that you don’t need. OMIGAWD…CAN’T YOU THINK??” it’s NOT FREE for heaven’s sake!!!

Just now I received a STUPID SMS about winning a competition – and my number was picked as the lucky winner. I was furious…so dead furious. I wanted to SMS back and say something bad because I read from the newspaper how this girl lost almost RM9K because she believed what the SMS was saying about her winning something. And she contacted the number and was asked to bank-in money just so she could receive the prize and she did exactly that. I would like to scream at the girl so that she can get back her senses, IF YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR SOMETHING BEFORE YOU GET YOUR GIFTS, THAT IS NOT GIFTS, U UNDERSTAND ME?????”

You people must remember that GIFTS means FREE so if you have to fork even a sen from your purse, you’re officially being CHEATED and you ALLOW it to happen before your eyes. If you keep in mind what FREE means, maybe you will know how to protect yourself from scams. COME ON PEOPLE, WE HAVE TO STOP THIS!! Know what you are paying for. If you allow them to use FREE with another definition, FINE, that’s your choice. But NEVER FORGET what FREE really means cos if FREE has a new meaning, I am quite worried we don’t have another word to really replace what “COSTLESS” means.

If any of these salespeople come to you and can’t even be true about the word FREE, I can’t imagine they are being honest about the rest of the deal. Yeah, call me CRUEL. But maybe these people can use their cunning mind to make money WITHOUT cheating people with the word FREE. Gimme a break. You Should be smarter than that.

The Cost Of Her Smile

“I want to eat sweets. Can you buy some for me?” You say, “Sweets? It’s bad for your teeth. It’s too childish. Later la I buy you some Ferrero Rocher but I buy when I have the time to go to the mall. “But I want the sweets, now” she insists. “ need la. I’m sure you like the chocolate more. Later la ok?” But the grocery shop that sells sweets is very near from them. How much do the sweets might cost? It’s as cheap as 3 sweets for 20 sen and for that little cost, why do you give so many excuses just because you think you know what is better for her. You never know that the little request is all she asks for. And you never know that your inability to fulfill her smallest request tell her a lot about how much she actually means to you. If you think her request is too small for her to pout if you exchange it with someone bigger, you can be wrong. If you think that she won’t care if you don’t fulfill it as long as you have bigger things in mind, you are wrong. The sweets could be all she wants and yes, because of your reluctance, you could hurt her so badly. Unless she’s really no one to you, maybe you don’t care. What if she’s the person that you care the most?

It’s funny when sometimes we still find excuses for the simplest thing. What can be simpler than a little request from the person that you care so much. Even when the request is too ridiculous or quite laughable, it could mean a lot to the person. It could be as simple as buying sweets, but it could lead to arguments that cause both of you heartache and tears that might put your relationship in jeopardy. Sometime this is what we do subconsciously. The easiest thing become the hardest thing because we think that the person we love must be asking for the universe before she can be happy. Why make life difficult – if she asks for the simplest thing, give her that simplest thing.

At the end of the day, you’ll realize that The Cost Of Her Smile is not about how much, how expensive or how big. It’s the thoughts from you that she can feel from the little things that she asks for. You’ll realize that to feel hurt in the end just because you have hurt someone you love is – Almost Stupid, when it is all caused by your insensitivity that you don’t believe that the little things are actually all it cost to make her smile. :)

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Blog MakeOver

Hi my loyal readers...

I will be doing Blog-Makeover for the coming days, whenever I have the free time. As some of you notice, my online time has changed because now I am also available at nite, unlike before. I don't want to mix my online time and working time so much like before but yes, I still do it whenever I'm free at work. But I have to reschedule to maximize my time. I hope this will bring us Closer :)

Thanks for being there :)

Muahsss...lurve ya peeps.

So Begging Is Now A Culture?

Whoa…apa mau jadi sama dunia sekarang ni. Ada yang bertungkus lumus cari duit, siang malam tidak tidur just to make sure kerja siap, and ada pula yang totally the opposite. Suruh org2 ni rajin2 kerja, and dorang2 ni pula just datang “minta” sikit bahagian. Biarpun bukan kawan, biarpun bukan saudara, tapi “Sia hidup susah ba geng, derma2 la sikit. Nda juga kau bawa masuk kubur tu duit.” Oh…mungkinkah begini cara mereka2 ini berpikir?

This is nothing new actually. Beggars or peminta sedekah adalah mereka2 yang kamurang senang jumpa. Mesti ada saja. Di KK alone pun memang banyak juga la kelibat peminta sedekah ni. Kalau sekali imbas, memang dorang ni hidup susah, and ada yang memang cacat anggota badan. Memang menyedihkan tengok nasib hidup dorang yang hanya bergantung pada ehsan orang lain. What work can they do to make them able to do something and get paid, right? Yes, memang the initial idea is that – some people are unfortunate enough to do nothing else but begging for people’s mercy. Those who have more might want to share. Ya know, life being unfair and all. We all know about it.

Sia ni bukanlah kategori dermawan or generous because I myself work my bump off to earn a living. Just that, I’m thankful that I am in the good condition to work and earn money. Bukan semua orang senasib. Jadi kalau tengok mereka2 yang meminta sedekah di tepi2 jalan tu --- kita terus paham. Dorang cacat, macamana mau buat kerja kan? Then rasanya memang patut juga la mereka2 yang sudi berkongsi keberkatan tu bagi sikit dengan dorang ni. Tapi mungkin betullah Malaysians ni ramai yang prihatin. Dorang cepat kesian dan mungkin dorang pun mau buat something good untuk get something good daripada yang di Atas. Well, masing2 punya reason la ba tu, kan.

Tapi cerita2 punya cerita, kesian punya kesian, sepa sangka pendapatan peminta sedekah tu adalah jauh lebih tinggi daripada yang memberi sedekah tu. Biarpun u bagi RM1, tapi ada 100 orang bagi at least RM1, rasanya pegawai biasa pun tidak dapat gaji RM100 per day. Look, I am not prejudice kepada mereka yang kurang upaya ni meminta sedekah. Memang kesian nasib dorang dan kita pun paham. Kalau kita kaya, of course kita pun nda kisah mau share sikit bagi dorang. Tapi ni lain pula ceritanya. Bila nampak pendapatan beggars ni bukan alang2, nahh…semakin ramai la mau jadi beggar. Wahh…rupanya ada juga cara mau dapat duit banyak tanpa kerja kan?? Mungkin tu yang ada di pikiran dorang.

Earlier this week I went to town and sat there waiting for the shops to open. I saw this one guy, I think at his early 20’s, dengan pakaian yang “as normal as you and me”, dengan rambut bersikat dan ada beg sandang yang kecil. Reminds me of budak2 kolej yang keluar outing dengan kawan2 untuk window shopping or just untuk jalan2. Exactly macam tu. Cuma this guy ada lain sikit. Dia bawa ni mangkuk kuning (mangkuk Maggie) and pegi ke setiap orang yang ada di situ dan hulur mangkuk tu. Trust me, mau cakap dia gila, I don’t think so. Mau cakap dia cacat, lagilah tidak. Totally a view yang shocked the hell out of me. Apa sudah jadi ni?? Memandangkan dia ni cergas dan tidak sikit pun ada masalah fizikal, dia dengan cepat saja pegi dari satu orang ke satu org dengan harapan ada yang mau kasi something di mangkuk tu. I mean, kalau kita sendiri macam tu, the first issue is, MALU a.k.a EMBARRASSED! You guys pernah kah joking dengan kawan2 and said something like – Sia betul2 teda duit oo, mau pigi minta sedekah dulu ni baru dapat pegi shopping. Yes, something like that. You know u are just kidding and there’s no way u would ever think that anybody would do that but I witnessed it with my own eyes that anyone like u and me could also be a part-time beggar! Omigawdd!! Now, don’t talk about losing face, don’t talk about embarrassment, this is MORE than all that. If u don’t have a face to save, or you don’t care a thing about how would it be if anyone who knows u or your family saw you do that would make u go straight to the headline of talkabouts- OK! Maybe u don’t care! But it’s a pity to have a perfectly healthy youngster to be doing something like that just to get easy money. What, do you guys see this Begging Culture as a workable culture? That, heyyy…while unemployment is on the rise, and let the refugees to the construction works, Why Work People? When we can just take a bowl and go around and ask a little from what these people make from working. OMIGAWDD, don’t u guys see it?

And ada lagi ni badan2 kebajikan yang selalu datang dari satu ofis ke ofis and minta derma. Bukan satu, bukan dua, tapi banyak!! Macam2 ada. 2 hari yang lalu pun ada juga. Masa tu sia sedang cakap2 dengan customer, and then datang pula dua orang perempuan ni. Dia bagi tu paper yang nicely printed on dorang punya organization yang membantu anak2 yang susah dan sebagainya. Memang nama tempat tu tidak pernah dengar. When my customer asked, “Di mana ni?” Dia cakap, “Di Semenanjung”. “Tiada di Sabah ka?” “Baru mau buat di Sabah punya.” Then my customer said, “Wah, jauh juga kamu datang hanya untuk minta derma kan?” Dorang cakap, “Ya, memang macam ni. Mau tolong kan ini budak2 kurang upaya kan.” That time, I didn’t derma. Sebab the same thing sudah pernah datang beberapa kali dan sia pernah juga bagi derma once. It made me thinking….kalau tengok flyers dorang and receipt payment dorang tu…memang dibuat dengan begitu proper sekali. It needs a lot of money to fly these people to go to Sabah and minta derma. Flight, penginapan, and then belanja “marketing” dorang pun silap2 main puluhan ribu juga tu. Then sia terpikir, kalau itu duit semua diguna untuk tolong orang2 susah yg macam dorang cakap tu, sia sure memang dorang mampu tolong banyak kanak2 dengan kos yang dorang guna tu. Then imagine laa, kalau ini semua cuma satu sindiket saja yang hanya satu level up daripada peminta sedekah yang duduk di kaki lima. Dorang ni pakai smart2 lagi, terbang jauh2 – wah… Don’t u guys sense something is not right?

Not to mention lagi bila ada beberapa orang ni datang bawa surat yang kununnya anak saudara dia sakit kronik and then minta sumbangan ikhlas. Simply kasi tinguk tu surat ja and then buat u rasa bersalah kalau tidak bagi. Lain lagi yang merupakan pesakit tu sendiri – yang siap tunjuk bekas operation or bengkak2 di badan yang buat orang convinced yang dorang ni nda menipu. Sia pernah bercakap dengan customer sia yang ada ahli keluarga yang betul2 kena macam tu and minta derma betul2. Dia cakap yang memang derma tu sangat bermakna untuk ahli keluarga dia yang sakit tu. Kita pun boleh paham juga kalau sudah keadaan mendesak. Apa pun kita sanggup buat. Tapi imagine la kalau orang buat semua tu semata-mata untuk dapat easy money, apa macam? I mean, apa mau jadi sama ni dunia kalau benda ni dijadikan culture. Sia masih ingat lepas ja dua perempuan tu datang, ada sorang salesman lelaki yang almost kami nda layan but dia try juga untuk say something yang make us want to let him show what he was selling. He was selling this travel charger yang pakai satu bateri. Kami rasa dia jual dengan harga yang tinggi juga but memang that charger useful so we just bought biarpun kami tau kami mungkin boleh dapat harga yang lagi rendah kalau dijual di tempat lain. Lepas that guy jalan, we agreed that, “If dia tipu kita tu harga pun ndapalah…itu rezeki dia sudah tu. He Made The Effort to make money dengan cara yang betul. You sell, I buy. I don’t just come and ask for your money by kasi dengar u cerita yang buat u terpikir sama ada I am talking the truth or not.

So my point here is, yang meminta sedekah secara “suka2” or “just for fun” – I know you guys are not worried about us – paling2 pun we kasi u guys RM1/RM5/RM10 saja, tapi we pity u guys – kena bagi anggota badan yang cukup, tidak mau guna betul2. Orang lain yang disable ada lagi sanggup buat macam2 untuk earn money…sebab kena bagi kehidupan ini saja pun satu anugerah yang bukan untuk ditengok ja dari jauh. Live it and if it means we have to go through difficulties untuk make money, terpaksa hidup susah sekali sekala because of circumstances yang tidak menentu – Inilah kehidupan. I don’t get it guys. Why you want to waste all your abilities. No Pain No Gain. But it doesn’t apply for this Begging Culture. Gara2 kamu, orang pun prejudis dengan mereka2 yang mungkin betul2 perlukan bantuan. So…Ask yourself, After Everything that you’re given and have learnt, is this the best way you could figure out how to make a living? Pikir2 la sikit geng...:)


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