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Saturday, March 14, 2009

Are Parents Always Right?

Do you guys realize that in most families, there’s always one rebellious child? Rebellious child is someone who tends to go against the normal flow of the other siblings, and usually, the rebellious child follows his/her own mind instead of the parents’. Rebellious children are usually stubborn and levelheaded. The rest of them who are not rebellious tend to follow what the parents say and obey their will. Usually, when there’s a heated argument between parent(s) and one of their children, most likely the child is the rebellious one! The only reason why I start this article by explaining about rebellious child is because I AM A REBELLIOUS CHILD! *giggles. If you happen to be a parent who has grown-up kids, I think you should read this. I am a VERY analytic and detail person so maybe you can catch some points in parenting that you never think of before. I’m using all logic and common sense, and I’m not siding anyone. I try my best to be fair.

Parents, can I ask you a crucial question? Do you think you’re always right? I mean, we children know that you have gone through a lot just to bring us up in the best possible way. You guys give us clothes to wear, foods to eat and house for a shelter. You guys work so hard to send us to school and you bought us whatever we want as long as you guys can afford it. What else can we say? You guys are two BEST persons in our life. We understand that after all that you guys did, you deserve something back in return. At least for your children to listen to you, to obey and respect you and make you happy. Parents, you deserve all that and more! There’s no way we children can ever repay all your good deeds. But, try to think beyond all this. Beyond the general idea that we children should respect you for what you guys have done since the day we are born into this world. After what you guys did, “do you think that PARENTS have the immunity to sin against their children?” –Yup, it’s a very serious question. So serious that maybe you think I shouldn’t bring this up. But I have to. I’ve been waiting forever to get a chance to write my view on this.

I usually study people around me other than my own family. I observe, I think, and I learn. I ask that question because I think people forget that PARENTS are humans too. They are no angels. They make mistakes everyday. Whether it’s towards their workmates, their friends, their relatives or even some strangers they meet on the street. But do parents realize that their children are humans too? And do you agree that humans make mistakes? You certainly say, “OF COURSE, I KNOW THAT” but you are referring to your children and the countless ways your children hurt or disobey you. I’m sure that you parents have with you some bitter memories of when any of your children did something that really leaves a big wound in your heart. Well, talking about heated arguments between you and your children, do you think YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT? If yes, WHY? Because you’re the parent(s), right? Okay, let’s not talk in riddles anymore. I DON’T AGREE.

I saw how some parents treat their children. Some parents are born rude. They talk all the bad words. I once have a neighbour like that. I remember this one time when they just got back from outing and after everyone exited the car and went into the house, the dad asked something and one son actually said he left it in the car. He screamed like, “Go and take it, you bastard!” (The Malay version is worse! I replace it with “bastard” because there’s no translation for that particular Malay slang) I was shocked when I heard the father said that for the smallest mistake. The little boy was so sad and embarrassed as he walked back to the car. I pitied him. I felt like I wanted to curse the father back. At least, let me scream, “You stupid dad, you think your son is not human?” Okay, I’m always emotional when I look at something like that. Just because you “make” your children, doesn’t mean you can decide when you want them to live, when you want them to die! Okay…sorry for my words. For the good parents, I know I’m sounding too much. But do you guys agree that some parents are REALLY RUDE?

I hate it when some parents want the BEST RESPECT from their children, but they don’t give the BEST RESPECT for them. Oh…because you’re the parents right? So you can curse your children, you can embarrass them all you like, simply because without you, they won’t even see the world right? So, is that the reason why you “make” your children? So they can pay “the debt” for the rest of their lives? So you have a place to take out your anger and frustration towards them without feeling guilty? Some of these parents would even say, “I CAN EVEN KILL EACH OF YOU IF I WANT”. Of course, language like this will only go out during bad arguments. Okay guys…don’t throw that look at me. *giggles. No, I don’t try to give a bad name to all the parents in this world. You parents deserve to go to heaven for what you guys did for your children! Okay, who go to heaven is not my decision, anyway! *giggles. What I’m trying to say is that I APPRECIATE all the things our parents do for us and all the children should too!

But I’m not here to tell you what we all already know. What we don’t know is that SOME PARENTS ARE SO BAD, they think their children are some slaves. If you are a rude person, do you actually like others to be rude to you too? No, right? But what can you expect from the children who are fed by cursing and swearing everyday? If you take it out on your friends, you would feel guilty and all, and even say sorry…but to your children, some of you don’t even care! Why? Because you think you OWN your children. When you and your children argue, all you have in mind is your children are ungrateful and they commit a big sin because they go against you. Yes, I remember it’s in the 10 Commandments that we should always respect our parents. I can’t agree more. But what if the parents are bad?

When your children speak, you must also listen because they are human too. They are not some dolls that you manufactured. They also have their own mind, they have their own dreams and sometimes, THEY DO KNOW BETTER than you when it comes to their own lives. They know what they like and what they don’t. How many times you hear that the children have to sacrifice their whole life to achieve their parents’ dreams? Just because you like engineering, you think your children should take engineering? “You will regret if you don’t obey us”. Okay…that’s what you think. But what if they obey what you say and still regret? Do you want to say this, “Oopps, sorry, I should have let you follow your dreams.” – but that time, your children are already in their 50s, and only then they realize they have been doing EVERYTHING just to get EMPTINESS in the end. I tell you this. If your children pick a way you don’t approve, and they really end up regretting it, HEY, it’s their mistake. They will learn from it. But I’m sure you don’t want to die in regrets when you see your children regret their lives just because they have to follow every word you say. Just because you think YOU’RE ALWAYS SMARTER AND BETTER, AND YOU’RE ALWAYS RIGHT!

Correct this perception. Set your mind that the happiness of your children is your happiness too. Be tolerable to your kids. If you can raise them well and see them be someone useful, it’s already a fulfilled responsibility. Let them judge for themselves what they want to be and do because you’re not gonna be there with them forever to tell them what to do. If your children turn out to be grateful children, they will repay you back what they can afford. If they can’t afford materials, they will give attentions and helps. Judge them for what they do good, not what they do bad. If you hurt them, say sorry because this way, your children will also learn to say sorry when they hurt you next time. If you want sweet words, talk sweet words to them and not curse. In my logic, I know that even if you’re parents, you are still committing sins if you do/say something bad to your children especially when they don’t deserve it. I believe that God doesn’t permit us to do wrong to anybody, including our own children. I can say that if you want to be recognized as “THE BEST MOM/DAD IN THIS WHOLE WIDE WORLD”…You must first BE that BEST MOM/DAD in your children’s world. Don’t just wish to be THE BEST when you can’t even use the right language to talk to you children. RESPECT THEM they way you want them to respect you.

If all of us know our roles as parents, as children…maybe we will hear fewer cases of children running away from home, children/parents disown each other and all that stuff. Make this world a better place by RESPECTING EVERY HUMAN BEING, including your own children. And before I end this, I want to say my endless THANK YOU to my strong-willed mom and my hardworking father for BEING MY WONDERFUL PARENTS. I may be the rebellious child in the family, and I’m not proud of that. I know I have hurt my parents many times because of my stubbornness. I know that I still have a lot of points to prove and I also know that my parents have put up a lot for my attitudes and natures. I will prove to them that it will all be worth it :)

PARENTS, CHILDREN…Let’s appreciate, love and respect each other. There’s no other institution stronger than the family bond and if there’s nothing much we can give back to this life, at least we make sure that our responsibility as a member of the family is done properly. If your wife can never refer you as “the best husband in the world”, but at least your mom and dad have all the reasons to refer you as “the best son in the world.”

Let’s make this world a better place. :)

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

slalunya ibu akan sakap sama anak durang (suatu ari nanti akan kamu jadi ibu/bapa jua tu!! sana lah baru tau rasanyaa) pena jua sia kisi2 dulu bikin marah mama sia sampai dia kaseh takut ngan sakap ( ko pikir sia buli lahirkan ko pastu nda buli masukkan balik ko dalam purut sia kah !!) wakwkkawkakkaaaaaaaaa taim budak tuss sabut lari lah ..mo tunggu apa lagi kalo lampu warning sampai sdah haha!!
yg panting jan lah sakap sama anaknya ngan (bagus lagi beranak satu biji tulul drpd branak sama kaw!!len ari buli d rubus lagi!!)
mamaki pun nda ngam tu sama anak..
paling payahlah kalo jadi ibubapa ni ..sbab bukan suma anak durang sama cara pengajarannya..ada yg mo lembut baru masuk ajar...ada jua yg perlu lampau tegas utk displin kan anak.. adezz namau sakap lagi lah...nanti panjang lebar lak komen sini wakwak... camna pun laling256 bila lain kali ko begelar ibu .. 1 hingga 7 tawun perlu sentuhan dr ibubapa...8 hingga 14 tahun perlu disiplin kan ni anak.. 15 hingga 21 perlu banyakkan masa bersama dgn anak.. 21 keatas pula perlu sukungan dr ibubapa <- ni munurut tu duktur pakar lah wakwak..

yg sia tau ...bkan SENANG mo ajar anak.manakala bikin anak pula tabalik ..iyaitu lampau SONANG !!!
/me sabut lariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Twofivesix256 said...

Hahahahahahahaahahahahahhaha...thanks for sharing abangku sayang. Kau mimang! /me kubit ulal sampai dia nangis. *Lols

Anonymous said...

What else i can say.. Klu masuk bab2 parents.. Dorang la segalanya.. Dorang lebih kenal anak2.. Dorang yg lebih nampak transformasi budaya anak2.. So, mungkin sy setuju dgn kenyataan 'Parents Are Always Right~'
(pendapat saya)..

*ngantuk ba time leaving komen ni... lols~

Twofivesix256 said...

Ya...actually mimang mcm tu ba tu World Thinker, but mimang kepala otak anak yg memberontak ni ada lain sikit heheheehhehe...but sharing is caring ba that *winks

chaz said...

nice ..i hope i can say this to my mom, because before i red this, my mom say a bad word 2 me, and at that time, i just woke up.. u know how bad to wake up, then ur mom/dad curse u, we had an arguement bout my gf, but i have 2 help her coz she had an accident and i know thats my responsibility to comfort her, and give her a support to pursue her studies.. i know my mom thinks about my future, and i appreciate that, but hello! im 19, i know wat im going to do in my life, yes i know that sometimes i hurt them by shoutin' at them, because im saying my opinion to them but they dont listen coz they keep tellin me that "we are your parents.. bla bla bla.." .. does bein a children dont have any right to point what their mistakes are?.. because they are my parents, they have a right to say that?.. i mean.. i didnt wanted to shout to my mom, im just shocked when i did that, "bagong gising ako momy, bat mko cnabhan ng gnun?" .. then she come to me and slapped me .. then i she said that i didnt respect her.. she's talkin bout my gf, and i know that she's worried bout me coz maybe i failed to graduate because of that,. they take away my dream, because were lack of money to take my dream course.. they take away my dream school because of money too. its ok from me because i know at the philippines, we experiencing some poverty, corruption, but.. I KNOW THEY DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO CURSE ME.. i love them.. soo much.. they say the most hurtful words to me, coz im a homosexual.. and they say that im a abnormal and i am a sin.. but i want them to know that im a human too.. i should have respect coming to them, them ill give so much love and respect that they deserve.. cant forget what she said to me..


mom - ure shoutin at me.. u dnt give respect to me!..
me - because ure cursing at me, im standin on my own, and at my age, i knw what's right or wrong.. i just need ur trust.. why u curse at me..
mom - "wat's wrong of cursing u?.. YOURE JUST MY DAUGHTER.." ..

This hurts so much,, wish dat i can get out of this..

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