Monday, April 30, 2012

"Then Who Is The Best Person For The Job?"

There is this scenario:

Lets say I own this big and reputable company. I have this manager, a guy who is likeable by some, hateable by some. And his haters just get larger, everytime that a new story about the manager is being circulated among the workers. I receive complain letters by the staff, addressing to me about the matter that they think it's about time that I should pick a new manager.

I feel the need to make a meeting session, where all normal workers must present I need to settle this thing, since I don't want the matter to grow and affect the performance of the company.

"So, I receive many complaints about the manager. I learn that some of you want him to be replaced. Can I see how many of you who agree that we need a new manager?

So I could see quite a large percentage of them raise the hands.

"Looks like there's quite a number of you agree that the manager should be replaced. Can I know why, and what proofs you have to support your claims about his misconducts?"

Then the guy, who acts like the representative of the workers, read out his points, and every arguments that support his points. I find that some of them are considered serious, and if they are right, the manager is considered corrupted. I feel the need to find a solution.

"So looks like you guys have all your points ready. If I consider all that statements as the reasons to fire my own manager, who has been working with me for so many years, and have showed achievements and credible in his duty, and also part of the reason why this company is what it is today, then I assume that you guys should have A BETTER person who can replace this manager. May I know who is that person that you guys sure will perform and make up for the weaknesses that this manager has?

Suddenly I saw them looking at each other, with a question mark. Then after a while, the representative speaks, "I think we should give Guy B a try. I'm sure he can do better than the manager, after some practice and experience. Anyone here, worth a try, as long as we get rid of the manager."

"ANYONE randomly? If I pick you, can you run this company better than the existing manager?" as I point at the representative.

With hesitation, he says, "Maybe I am not qualified, but I think Guy B is qualified because he's also a senior worker and I'm sure he can do the job. Just give him a try."

Then suddenly, a crowd of people, who are pro to the manager, voice out their protests. A few of them say something bad about Guy B too, and claim they also have proofs. To my raw judgments, the accusations are also equally serious. Then I saw the two groups are exchanging words, trying to defend the guy they think is qualified as the manager.

I ask them to stop arguing before I ask another question to the representative, "So since you ask me to give Guy B a try, that means you yourself can't give me assurance that he will run this company better than the manager now. WHAT IF he screws up and brings this company down? Will you be able to do anything to reverse his failure since that I give him a try as what you all suggested me to do?

He answers, "We are never sure what will happen but we won't know unless we try."

I reply, "Do you know how important this post is? That most of you here, depend on this person. If he does something silly, you can all lose your job, and this company will close down? Knowing the kind of risks that we are facing, do you think it's wise to just hand it over to some guy whose reputation is not proven, just because you are unhappy with the current manager?

They all go silent. "Then you can choose whoever you think is right for the job as long as the manager is out. We cannot stand the sight of him anymore."

"The current manager might have shortcomings that some are not known to me, but as far as his job concerns me, he manages to run the company well enough. I won't say he's the best in the world, as agreed as some of you here. But when I ask you who should replace him, you suggest me a guy with no proven track, and you ask me to risk the future of this company to give that guy a try, and without even anything yet, some of you here already have complains about the guy. Now I'm left with 2 CORRUPTED GUYS, one with good track record, one with none. And you protesters here, are not even sure that you guys could be hasty, until I highlight that you all could lose your job too if you pick the wrong guy.

What you guys know is you are unhappy with the manager now, and you want the guy out. But as the owner of this company, my concern is more than that cos this company has helped all of you to generate income to feed your family and it's my own legacy which I could never compromise to risk it over "A TRIAL" if someone can perform the job better or not. I don't have the space for TRIAL. It's either you do, or you die. You don't see it that way because you don't see it in a larger picture. Cos it's not you who owns this company, so you think a trial is worth it just to see if the person can do it better. This is not a playground, this is the real world. Unless you present me with someone who has done such achievements, maybe I can do something.

If I have with me only 2 corrupted men, I will still pick the one whom has brought me result and has contributed a lot. If all you have is another corrupted man to replace him, you better go back to your respective department, do the work you are assigned to do, than to waste time and resource trying to find fault, and before you forget, this person you guys dislike is the reason why most of you are working here. I suggest that each of you learn how to be grateful first, then maybe you will think twice before you bring to me issue that you yourself don't have the solution to fix it.

"Before I leave, one more thing. To become a leader is not easy. You have to take a lot of decisions that others don't like, and you always have to consider a lot of things before you make certain decisions. And sometimes, your personal problems will get dragged in your work and make others find the reason to evaluate you, and plus, considering that you are just a human being, you do make wrong moves, you do make mistakes. But after all said and done, if this person's achievements are still way above his shortcomings, I will still keep him, especially when all you have for me to consider, is another man who is no BETTER than him. Last but not least, just in case you are looking for an Angel as a manager here, how is that possible? You all aren't angels too. And you want a manage who is an angel? Maybe in Heaven, not here."

I'm not sure if the scenario does hit some points.

I just want a peaceful country. I thought I already have it for so long. The Bersih Rally, for 2 times now, have seen the part of the country turned into riot. People got killed, fighting for something they could not even get directly from the rally. I am not even sure if you people are not manipulated. The most shocking part of all this hype is...Recall the scenario above. These people, who are so good at protesting, when I asked them back THE SIMPLEST QUESTION, Then who do you think should be the next PM from the opposition? They said, DON'T KNOW. Big possibility that the rest of them in the rally also have the same thing in their mind. GO FIGURE.

Note: The perfect kingdom/government only exists elsewhere up there, not on this Earth.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

"We Were That Kid"

I’m savouring my emotional process of “eyes cleaning” right now. Hahaha. I was about to write a status update at my Facebook, but then I decided to just move them here my blog is getting dusty again…hehe. Ok, here we go. 

Something very cute that my dad still does until today is when we are not at home, he goes visiting each of our rooms and help clean a bit of the mess in our rooms, put the clothes in the place and even empty the rubbish basket...but he will not touch the mess on the my table, or change the position of anything cos he knows I might be mumbling if I could not find the tiniest thing, like a needle. ( call that being difficult...hahaha) The moment I enter my room and saw my dried clothes are nicely folded, I giggles cos I know it's my dad. I never say Thank you to him when I go downstairs and saw him sitting there. I just know that my dad doesn’t ask for a Thankyou. He he does that voluntarily because he has free time at home.

When I was a lil girl, my dad always held my hand as we walked, as I was asking all the funny questions to him. Maybe we won't know how our parents look at us, after being there every steps of our lives, sometimes they just miss the time when we were still kids, when we needed them to even walk properly. Although how tough life was back then for them to provide for our needs, sent us to school, but it was the joy of it that they brought with them. Now our parents are getting older, aren’t they? Still, they never leave our side. My dad’s act, reminds me of myself when I was still a little girl. I was very dependent to him. When I cried or had a fight with any other kids including my sibling, I always called my dad. I would hug me till I stop crying. As I got bigger, I never consulted my dad anymore. I did all the things on my own, I made all the decisions based of my own judgment and I remember I even argued with him because he always have different things in mind and I wanted to have things to go my way. I remember saying to my friends when I was still at school."Why our parents think that we are still small kids? That they must ask us where we go and with whom. Sometimes they just told us what they want us to do in life, as if they knew it better than us." Yeah, isn’t that familiar? How hard it is to realize that our parents DO MISS the times when you still would listen and care for everything that they said, because back then they felt it how important they were to their kids. They miss the kids in us. They miss doing all the things they used to do for us. Maybe, that was why my dad took the chance to go to our rooms and then did what he would do back then, cos in a way, we still are not as manageable as we thought we should. We do still need their hands in our lives.

What finally knocked senses into me was after my brother’s wife, gave birth to the first grandchild in the family, and also our first and only nephew so far. His name is Brandon. A very cute baby boy. I saw that everytime they go and visit our house, my sister in law is giving everything she can, how she breastfeeds the baby, how she could not even see the baby cry because she will calm him until he starts giggling again, and how she talks to the baby, in a tone full of pure love. I suddenly saw the vision of my own mom, taking care of us. I saw the love in the eyes of the mother. I imagine that she would not even let a mosquito land on our skin and bite us. She would leave anything she was doing when she heard us crying. Now I can finally imagine how much the love that our parents gave us since the day we were born. I am so touched as I am typing this. I’m crying so hard cos it appears that we forgot how hard it was for them to raise us, and now we are grown up and we can do what we want, and remember how many times that we hurt them we didn’t even feel sorry. I wonder if we even care to pause and look at the same way we did when they were the only people that we knew. Those people, with the hands that raised us. Do we even care to look back and appreciate what they have gone through for us?

Now that I have written this, I could not go out from my room behaving like a heartless zombie anymore that I had once become. Why not to just do things to make our parents happy. Buy them what they like as long as we can afford, and most importantly, PLEASE do not toss back to their face all the efforts of trying to teach us to be a good person. That would hurt them so badly. We have done wrong before, it’s okay, but find the way back home and tell them, 

“Yes, your kid is back”…. 

Yeah, why not? We were once really "that kid" that they fed with their hands, that they put to sleep, that they hugged and pampered, that kid was us. I do not blame you if you can't feel anything yet, maybe it's true that until you have your own kids, then only you realize even more how much you should love your parents. Are you sure they gonna be around to see that happen? Some of our friends  have lost theirs. So you know...they won't wait forever for us to finally realize.

When they are still around, lets us love them wholeheartedly. They are the most angelic people in our lives, that are irreplaceable, no matter how good the person that is gonna be our spouse. Oh Lord…thank you for giving us our parents. Please give us enough time to repay back their love to us, although no amount can ever be enough. May you keep them healthy and protected and may I ask a share of your blessing to me to go to them…Thank you. Thank you Lord for giving us very lovely parents. Amen.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

The Praying and The Crying: My Rare Reflection Of Faith

I have longed to write an article that speaks my deepest mind about my religious faith, but I was afraid that this might cause uneasiness in my readers cos I understand that my knowledge in religion might be labeled as “too shallow” to know many things, hence resulting in all the questions and doubts, which I can say, come a little too late. Only now, after all the years. 

I found out that after dealing with so much logic in everything else, it started to affect the way I look at the rituals that are being performed by the church that I attended since a kid. At one point of my life, I started looking for “THE REAL THING” since humans are often shadowed by all the unnecessary things in life that drag them distanced from the things that really matter. I got a little “lost” when I looked at all the rituals that sometimes, are done merely for the sake of “routine” and all the spoken words are said simply because “I memorise them” or “it’s in the book” and do not come from the heart at all. Sometimes I wonder, if all these prayers are mattered by every words, what if I could show to people I could look like so intensely in prayer but my mind is wandering at other things that unrelated with the prayer at all? 

What is it that really matters in our religion? Is it how we can follow every disciplines that are being set by the Church, that we must go to church every week, we must go through all process of a devotee, attending Sunday school at the early age and received our First Holy Communion, and then going for another class season for the Sacrament of Chrism, and then get married at the church and then get our kids baptized and continue the process on our younger generations. So if we follow all those processes, can we be called a devout follower of our religion? Is that so? 

I got so distracted when I saw that the Church is sometimes overly decorated, and the fancy clothes that are used by the priests, and when my mind got a little lost in trying to find relativity in these superficial displays and the REAL FAITH inside the followers’ hearts. Maybe I was disturbed too from being “too reasonable” because I’ve been studying people, and I saw those who haven’t have much to show, have faith GREATER than mine. Yeah, without those same rituals and without knowing if they do undergo something that I did since kids, yet they can simply show HOW RIGHTEOUS is their way of life. 

I love my religion. It’s not a thing to be blamed. I wonder if the hands that speak using the word “religion” are really worthy of doing that, and my prejudice towards humans greed on materials can’t really exclude the conductors of the churches, cos they are humans too. And history has shown that these people, though only in minority, also involved in fraud and power abuse and internal politics that to me, is such a mockery to FAITH. Because suddenly religions become the platform of earning money, and power, and MISUSING faith in the true believers – by making them believe that if you give them money, it means you’re doing welfare in the name of GOD. I believe in the goodness of charity and welfare but I regret if people are using GOD for this. No, please do not do that. Speaking of Confession, I remember going to Confession and I was memorizing “my sins” to mention to the reverent Father. Suddenly it reminded me one of those days when I was outside the exam hall. But this time memorizing sins, Oh man. So when it was my turn, I was telling my sins, and I was using my fingers to count if I have said it all, and I was “Err…err” trying to remember what did I miss. Suddenly I felt like I was making a fool out of myself. THIS IS NO ORAL EXAMINATION. It felt so fake. Although I did not have any really serious mortal sins that I wanted to confess, but it was awkward to just say one sin or two sins as if I was “that righteous”, so I forcefully added more little stuff and mistakes just to make the confession session “longer” and less awkward. The Father then said to me, “This confession will not mean much if your repentance doesn’t come from the heart.” YES, I AGREE. How can we know for sure if the REPENTANCE comes from the heart or not? Lets say if I can say my sins so confidently, no delays, no err…err, and say all the convincing words, telling the Father that I regret my sins, CAN YOU SAY THAT IT’S FROM THE HEART? What if I confess to God that I’ve been cheating people’s money, and then I confess it, and I said the penance prayers, and “feels clean” – and the moment I come out of the church, I feel so free to “do it again” knowing that I can get clean again next confession? IS THAT SO? I remember one of the confession sessions that I went to, the Father was giving a talk before the session began. He said that you guys don’t go confess THE SAME SINS over and over again, which mean YOU NEVER CHANGE YOUR BAD WAYS. “You don’t come back and say you want to ask for forgiveness for committing adultery, and you say this sin in every confession that you go!!! If you don't plan to change, no need to go to confession!” You guys get my point??? What it is that REALLY MATTERS in our faith? Is it the rituals? Or what? To me, you can brag to people, Oh, I went to confession, but then you never plan to correct your old ways. What's the point?

Yesterday I attended the Good Friday mass, it was so touching. Suddenly I saw the church in a more original form of humbleness. No flowers, no fancy table cloths, no bling2 here and there, and even the choirs were singing with no music. I felt “more connected” to my faith. I found myself feeling so regret when I had all the doubts and suspicions on how the rituals were being performed, cos suddenly I could feel that whatever it is, THE FAITH of these people ARE REAL. I could hear the lady beside me let out soft cries when the session of the veneration of the Cross was carried out. I was almost shed tears too because I imagined how painful it was for Jesus to endure all the pain. And we all prayed in extra devotion because the mourning day made us remember even more, the event of crucifixion that was the most important for our religion. And it was actually a sad day because Jesus had to undergo embarrassment and pain until the last breath. I felt so thankful for the Good Friday mass. So so thankful. I could finally concentrate on THE REAL PURPOSE of the religion. 

Still, I need to have a conclusion so that I won’t keep and keep looking in doubt. We have fanatics in every religions in this world. We will have followers from respective religions that can speak as God, saying that if you follow their religion, you will go TO HEAVEN. Can I ask, can you become a follower of a religion, ONLY BY NAME, and still go to heaven? If you claim so, what about the criminals that are still at large, doing crimes and make the innocent people suffer, who claim they are the followers of your religion, SO THEY WILL GO TO HEAVEN TOO? Maybe you’re just lucky that you’re not the victim of theirs, so you can go preaching to people that “YEAH, ALL THE FOLLOWERS OF MY RELIGION WILL GO TO HEAVEN, AND IT’S THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN GO TO HEAVEN.” Suddenly I hear the criminals clapping their hands and toasting drinks. Kidding me? I have these kind of fanatics among those in the same religion too. They will preach the same thing. “If you don’t follow, you will not be saved.” I remember asking to them, “What about those kind people who are doing little kind deeds to people around them but from different religion, do you mean just because they don’t believe in what we believe, they will go to HELL too?” These people say, “OF COURSE!!!” 

We have seen people who are so good in “displaying faith” but they are not even close to being righteous in life. You can cry at the Cross, and feeling say and pray what’s necessary, and then you go back to your seat, your old mom asked you something, you shouted, WHAT???? If you can’t even speak nicely to your own mom; at the church, I could not expect that you become the “most obedient follower” when you are out there. I beg to differ, you ladies and gentleman. 

RELIGIONS are just MEDIUMS. The religions ARE NOT the God. And I believe God creates the idea of having a religion so that it’s easier for us to lead “a life as a good person” because we will have certain disciplines that our respective religions will teach us. We will do our best to follow the disciplines that are taught, ASSUMING that it will go in line with how we lead our lives. Then sadly to say, people are becoming too obsessed “to put a show”, that they use it as a mask. So that they can get away with some wrong things that they do in their daily lives. What matters is they win “the people’s eyes” cos the people won’t even know what’s inside their heart. Even if their faith is actually ZERO. Sorry to say to the Fanatics, I am a lover of peace, I am not prejudice at people by their religions. I am only prejudice to people once they start to show “how ruined” their manners are. If you have no kindness to people, you have no respect for others, you cheat people, you swindle people, you kill people, you frame people, you hurt people, you have no pity towards the other living things, you humiliate others as if you are the king and others are your slave, you don’t appreciate people’s kindness to you, you SCREWED big time. You get what I mean? 

IT’S HOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE that matters. If your praying and crying for your religious faith don’t reflect the way you live, you can save me your preaching. I’m sorry if I have to sound a bit harsh, this is nothing Science. So if it’s too much for you to put a show of your devotion, it’s okay, as long as you touch people’s lives with your kindness. If you contribute to the good relationship and peace and wellbeing of people in your surrounding, people care less about what your religion is. They will speak silently, “this person will surely go to heaven.” It’s your righteous way of life that will MAKE A DIFFERENCE to yourself, to your life and everyone who knows you. If it has to be just 1 thing besides you and God, it’s your righteous way of life :) 

Have A Blessed Easter :) 

NOTE: I am still learning myself. I make mistakes everyday too. I hope I will find a clearer answer and understanding. Never Lose that Faith, cos even how foggy the road is, Faith will always let us see the way out...

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A Bad Day: A Short Analysis

Today is one of those bad days in my 2012. I can safely say that although the kind of crime this day gave me is in the form of “soft attack”. Usually when people say it’s their bad day, u would imagine that their car got hit and run, or they got fired or maybe bashed by the boss or colleague, or maybe someone stole the handbag and they have to walk all the way home, yeah sthing that bad. Mine is different. Nothing like that at all. And why did I call it a bad day? I need to run a lil analysis on my situation. 

I notice that, to have a bad day, it doesn’t necessarily need to be physical. Sometimes all the tortures happen emotionally. And nope, it’s not even close to love thingy, which most people think is the source of major heartpain. I beg to differ. Cos today, I saw that I was feeling so bad, after being “unpleasantly treated” but some dose of stupid drama caused by people who are “in need” but are too cocky to say, and resorted to dishonesty instead. As a result, my acceptance and interpretation towards their behaviours, gave me a “seizure” of major irritation – bad enuff that I had to stuff myself with sweet stuff just to calm myself down. Okay, I don’t expect anyone to understand that. Lets put it in a simpler language. 

You know the feeling when you think you are having everything in place, and you have done everything in your power to keep things running smoothly in your life, and you are following certain ethics to do your work and exercise your human values in your encounters with other human beings, and be corteous in your every conduc ts – you know, the state when you think you have done your best to produce ANOTHER GOOD DAY, still, something can just prick it and screw it all up. When people take advantage of your values and people are squeezing every last piece of advantage that they can take on you, I am surely say that IT IS gonna give you one heck of a bad day slap when you realize that you don’t deserve this kind of treatment. People cheat in their deal, and they make you feel like a beggar in your own house. Oh yeah, you better have some ideas how bad that feels. 

I am considered a positive person, judging from the negative people that I have associated with. So it isn’t so easy to make me feel like crap, unless it’s really really terribly horrifyingly irritating. I found myself munching on my favourite Roast Almond cadbury, eating it like some snack, cos I didn’t enjoy the taste, but just for the sake of having something to chew and swallow. My mind was all messed up especially when I recompile back all the stupidities these people did that ruin my emotions. Not only that they ruined my feelings, they have completely destroyed the last remaining impression that I have on them, and when they have come to this stage, usually it’s a no turning back. My issue of trust on them, is over and done with. I hate that people misuse everything they could, including my smile, to think that I could never ever do anything to make them pay back for what they did. They are ALMOST right. But not completely. I have a way to teach people some lessons. I promise they will not have to lose anything, just denied from any further encounter with me. Doesn’t sound bad right, so I’m sure they can survive :) 

So looks like a bad day isn’t so hard to exist. I have used up all my immunite system so that it won’t destroy my nite too, and thanks to the people who love and care for you, they can make you thoughtful enough to not make them pay for your disappointments. And still, the rest of the nite is really up to you. You gonna spend it punching on your wall or…Write a blog like me? Show the bad day what the strong people do to handle it. One thing for sure, they won’t get beaten down. Close the bad day book before the next day comes. Payback will come peacefully. Good day, here I come!! 


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The Fan Of Originality, Anyone?

Do you have the guts to just appear as YourSelf?

No Imitating, No Plagiarizing. No Copycat.

As for me, I used to claim something about my own originality. I claimed to be doing things not because of trend, not because I’m a follower of some obsession, which I really have proven when it comes to my career. But then, still, it depends on your definition of original. Although I’m not a person of eyelashes and blusher, but I experiment hair colour a little too often. People can say that I’m not original because of my hair colour, and you know I’m gonna laugh at that. I think that these people who are always comparing and bringing up the issue of not being original, shows very Original form of jealousy, and that is really really making your so-called Originality less matters. Agree? Not?

I remember that I called this guy as “Original”, of all the other characteristic that I could refer him. The reason I called him that was because he was just comfortable being himself, doing things his way, without getting assimilated and “polluted” by the culture of the community that he was in that time. I was amazed that he was able to keep his “old ways”, from the way he talked, from the way he dealt with people and his mannerism, although I thought was a little harsh, but he managed to keep his Original ways of how he was being brought up by his parents. Sometimes, I wasn’t sure if by calling her original was a compliment or otherwise. Being original is in the sense of being just you are, with your own unique ways and characteristic, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that your originality is always doing you good. Agree?

So for those people who always highlight they part where they are Intact when it comes to their Physical Originality, and calling people who undergone beautification procedures and Fakes and Plastics, I really find less reason why because I notice that, even how much people appreciate originality, they just appreciate it even more if you put some effort to just Be Someone Better, even if it means that you have to change your ways and getting farther from your Original state. Confusing?

My bestfriend is a very good “word thief”. I used to say some common slangs, and she actually adapted all those into her common slangs. Yeah, even it was in swearing. I was like, Hey, you stole my line!! So, if I make it a point of who’s more original, I would claim it because she stole the lines that I created. Maybe she thought those lines were cool so she took it and did even pay me “some royalty”. Ok kidding. Hehe. What I mean is that, her ability to just absord words from others, partly contributes to her intelligence. Although her words are mostly all taken from other people that she took example from, but then, when she meets new people, people might feel impressed because of her rich vocabulary. In other words, although she’s not being original, but she’s just better that way. You get my point?

So that’s why I am never so fond of originality anymore. I would prefer to be like a sponge that can easily absorb info and knowledge and skill from people who are better. Maybe when my relatives saw me, they might complain about my red hair, or think that I’m a show-off when I speak more English words than Malay, maybe they can badmouth that I have adapted so much of the city culture and maybe forget my root too, They may say all that. But I’m sure, their little thought say that it’s quite an achievement to reach somewhere, and they would be thanking people like me who ignore people’s badmouthing and Just Do It despite people disapproval. Sorry, that is ancient to me. For the record, if I live to please these unhappy people, I would never have this chanc e to even write this for you all to read. All in all, the only valid reason for you to Remain The Old You Forever, is when it’s the values that really are your Winning Points, or else…Feel Free To Change!!! Toss your originality and welcome the new and Better you :))


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