Wednesday, January 30, 2013

I Forgive You, Myself

For the past few days, I had quite a serious setback. I felt like I lost direction. Suddenly I found myself in a peculiar position, where I didn't know where I was going. Suddenly my work, my dream, anything, just met a dead end. Scary right?

How did I handle it?

I have to be really rational and do not do anything stupid that I will regret. First I have to be calm, and try to clear my mind. I did turn to activities which were less fruitful, as long as I could be doing sthing fun to slow down my negativity. I had to find myself back. I need the Fire, the Flame, the Passion to start be enthusiast once again towards my life progression. It's funny when you can still go back to square one after all the things you've gone through. Who can guarantee that you are safe from setbacks?

After wasting some time and indulging in excessive foods and drinks, which usually are our ways of expressing emotional problem, at the same time admit that I DO NEED HELP, so I turned to God every possible moment I could steal. Oh God help me not to get lost. I'm having a hard time with my thoughts and whatever this crises is, I know it's not there to build me, so help me God. Give me your light, show me the way out so I can continue my battle. I have so many things to achieve and I can't slow down. Please God, have mercy on me Your poor and weak child. Saying prayers every chance I had, I didn't forget to BELIEVE that He's working on my problems. Other than that, it could also be a test of Faith from Him. I read somewhere that He will test our Faith with giving us some obstacles. And guess what? All we need to do is COME TO HIM. I might face some difficulties but that's only because I am just a human being. What my wisdom can help me with is - I don't prolong my ordeal to the extent that it's gonna trouble me with getting back in line, and strength in faith can always save me from getting lost in dilemma and crises. All in all, we can see that this is just part of the beauty in life. It has to be survived and lived. 

Myself, I forgive you as I want God to forgive me. As many times before, I survive it again and here I am again, I'm back. Stronger. Thank you and Praise to God.

"The people that do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits. . . . Now when they shall fall, they shall be [helped] with a little help. . . . And some of them of understanding shall fall, to try them, and to purge, and to make them white, even to the time of the end: because it is yet for a time appointed" (Daniel 11:32-35).

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

A Silent Night...

For someone talkative, do you have any idea how many words you speak in a day? Try multiply that by 7 days a week. Can we expect billions of words? Or zillions? I bet you can't even count. It's uncountable. You can just go with the speed of hundreds of words in minutes times. There are just too many words spoken out, and can anyone able to digest them properly? The next thing you know, none of your words are remembered. Then you start to wonder why. Here's what you need. A SILENT NIGHT. 

I believe that even 2 people who love each other do need A SILENT NIGHT, a time where both can take a break from speaking, or topping up into the undigested words. No one has the capability of sustaining to something with the same acceleration for a long period of time. You must understand that your partner also has his/her things to worry about, not to mention some of distractions that shouldn't be there...Sometimes we are just not fit to be super  charming all the times. There are times when  we fall short of attention, we tend to make our partner feel ignored and neglected. Sometimes we are carried away by the fact that we securely loved by our partner that we don't need that much effort anymore unlike during the chasing stage. When you start to have this kind of thinking, I assure you that your partner need to declare A Silent Night with you. Right, looks like you need this lesson.

It's during the silence that you start to realize that you do appreciate her gazillions of words. That you can even take more than that as long as she just lets you hear her voice like every other nites. Who knows, maybe you can reconnect back to your senses, that maybe you have done some mistakes to her that you didn't take seriously. Maybe only then you realize that it is tough to go by a night without good nite from her. It's sad, predictably. But it sure brings a lot of consciousness to human beings who always forget their ground when they feel like their world is theirs. 

I bet it's healthy to take a break from each other. With a friendly remark and understanding - or especially needed when you start to have all funny thoughts going on in your mind. A silent night is what you need to cool down, to clear your mind and to think twice before you say anything stupid that you might regret. All in all...Go for silent night(s) because you believe that your love can be stronger than what it has been. All the best :))


1 Peter 4:8

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

Monday, January 21, 2013


In the chatroom this morning, this topic appeared out of nowhere. The topic of divorce that is becoming very common in the marriage of celebrity couples. The fact is, not only among celebrity couples, but also people with all types of occupations, ages, races etc. So this is not really about being rich and famous. So what's the reason?

Then this one senior chatter said that he's been married for 25 years and still in love. So never think that it's not possible for marriage to still last long. Then I asked him, "How do you handle jealousy? Lets say when your wife is being too friendly or flirting to some guys?" Then he answered, "Why need to be jealous? You must have TRUST. If she speaks to some jerk, no need to be jealous." Oh, he didn't consider the possibility that her wife might be too friendly to some attractive guy friends. I added, " I know, but don't you think your partner should know their limits too, that they must not be over friendly with the opposite sex, to the extent that can raise any problems with you? Does flirting sound alright to you?" Then he went silent. 

I really don't know if you guys get it. When people speak about TRUST, yes, of course. You may preach about how you should have trust for your partner... so, everything is solved from there? No, that means you guys don't get it. When you speak of TRUST, it's not the trust giver, it's the receiver. U can't simply order people to Trust someone, no matter what kind of bonding they have, until the person PROVES that he deserves that trust. Then you can speak of trust.

And yes, when you know that you already have someone, you can't just act like you have no one, in the name of freedom. If that's the freedom you want, don't waste anyone's time to be in your life cos people like this are better off alone. When you already make someone be in your life, that person has a heartbeat that beats totally like you. That person is human! If you think she's anything less than you that it's okay for you to just do what you want without thinking what she feels, I don't think even God likes what you do. Not just you are selfish, you are not loyal, you have lack of religious and moral values, WHAT ELSE? If you can't even take care of the heart of a person you love, you are almost good for nothing kind of person. Don't waste people's times -you may go with your way back to the playground and stay there as long as you want, but never come back with regrets. 

You're cheating on God. If  all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care? 
(James 4:4, The Message)

Didn't He Ask You Not To Worry?

Just look at those around us. Everyday you hear people expressing their concern - they always worried about something. In fact, that makes most of our problems. It's often about money - what to eat, what to wear etc. You and I have been in this situation too, right. For someone who wants to slowly lead a life of faith, don't you think it is such a shameful thing to worry?

Not until you read this verse Matthew 6:24-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I notice that in most situation, it's not like we don't have it. It's because we don't have more than enough when the fact is that what we have is just enough for our need in that particular time. Still, we tend to feel unfulfilled and start to have all sort of self-deprived emotions to consume us. Don't you think it's too much? There's this evil spirit of greed that makes us always want more than what we need. Well, when I am in this situation, I will cool down and think back all the times that I was saved and helped from my difficult situations. I have come a long way and it wasn't even possible to go through half of the journey just on my own. So imagine how many times that He has helped you through your tough times. This is just another time, and He will do it again. If you ask me How can you be sure that He gonna help you again this time? YOU MUST HAVE FAITH AND BELIEVE THAT HE WILL. Your faith means a lot to God before He can work His miraculous ways on you. That's why. Put the things you can't control in His hands, He will do the rest. Alleluia.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Is Unity Possible?

I get this link from one of the blogs that I visit daily. It's an eye opener to the rest of the world. Yes, Unity is possible.

My Religion Or My God?

It's always heated up when we start talking about religion. It's one most controversial topic, and also very sensitive. We can hurt each other using the wrong word. Being a Catholic, who have hundreds of different types of Christians against us, sometimes it puts me in an awkward position. Especially when I come across criticism about what they claim about my religion being wrong and man made. In other words, Catholic is not a religion based on Bible. For someone who has been attending church since a kid, what do I feel when I get things thrown at me, blaming my religion for being Irrelevant? 

While they are busy about the word Allah; should the Christians use it or not, No, I'm not worried about that. Even if they take away the word Allah from our publications, how much harm can it do to Our Faith? That's the thing. It's the faith, people. It's what's inside your heart.Don't worry about stuff that doesn't matter. God is God no matter what you call Him. He remains the same. The issue about, whether or not my Baptism as a Christian is valid - is much much more bothersome to me. Especially when the person who highlighted this to me is someone so dear to me. Of course I'm somewhat offended. But really, I WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH. 

As the sign that someone is baptized by the Holy Spirit is that, they can begin to speak in tongues. It's the spirit language that you can speak, without you yourself understanding the meaning. According to the Bible, it's a language of soul that your soul speaks to God when your conscious body and language knowledge cannot cover every words you want to say to God. It's amazing, isn't it? The thing is, I don't have that gift. I've been reading a few verses mentioning about speaking in tongues, and one of them does mention that it's A MUST for someone to have this ability as a sign that she/he has been baptized  by the Holy Spirit. So? For someone who has been baptised since a kid, now you want to tell me that my relationship with God and the Holy Spirit is NULL and VOID?

He can speak in tongues immediately after the event of baptism by the Holy Spirit, and being a Christian not even 2 years, then again, look at me. So do you mean to say that everything that I'm doing all this time is just Not Valid? There's just too many to explain. Now, I just get clearer why my religion receives all this criticism, and why there are protestants in the first place. But then, I believe that my religion does have reasons doing what they do. I don't want to elaborate more on this. I might tell bit by bit when there's a related topic. All I can say is that, even if I find imperfection with my religion, I still know one thing for sure is that - I am praying to God. I'm not praying to my religion. If they claim that Bible is the Word of God, then did the Bible speak about having a certain religion? I believe that God said about following Him and coming to Him during times of needs. Not even one time that God asks human to start forming religions and only through religions that we can come to Him. I can say my prayer right after this and I will be speaking to God directly, using whatever way that I know. How do I know this? BECAUSE I BELIEVE. 

It's the FAITH in Him that makes the difference. We can speak about our religions and how magnificent we think it is, but at the end of the day, it's still about what YOU DO when you are living your life outside the church. It's still whether you lead a righteous kind of life, do you translate love into charity and stuff like that. A religion can only be so good in telling others what is right and wrong, but if you don't practice what is right, no religion can help you. ONLY GOD CAN. And so much about the religion, if you don't BELIEVE that He has power in your life, He still cannot make your body His temple, and He cannot be your instrument to spread the good news. What's the point?

Like what I read from somewhere. Bible is not talking about religion. It's talking about Love. Maybe it's one "religion" that everyone should speak. So rather than arguing which religion is true, and not, lets look at ourselves and how equip we are as a righteous person in God's eyes. Nevermind about the show and ritual that are getting worldly credit. Maybe I don't have a proper Baptism in other people's interpretation, but because of my Faith, there's no way anything can be a gap between me and God.

Lets not get distracted from the real deal, people. If this turns into feud and start to hurt people by questioning the validity of their religion, that's already handing jobs to Mr Devil to take advantage of us. Don't let him. How can this be the reason of our disunity?

My Religion or My God? Of course it is My God. May He help us people to sort out our differences and realize that He's the ultimate truth that we should put our hearts and minds to follow His way of life. Thanks God :))

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The Doll Domination

I pick this title to speak about the woman domination in the world where men are expected to lead. I have to admit that I do have tough characters. Tough as in firmness and as in principal and stubbornness too. In case you ask me, Do I like to be dominant?

In a way, I do. I like to feel like I have strength and abilities where my other half benefits from it too. I like to feel useful in a relationship and I dislike it when my partner is way too strong compared to me that I don't feel like I'm needed and contributing. Yeah, that's the thing. But again, speaking of being dominant, maybe I do need to feel that I have a share of domination. Which means the other half must go to the guy. What kind of guy that can handle that responsibility?

Right. He too must have strength in his characters. It doesn't mean  that he needs to have better education level, which I don't really care that much. If he thinks I am smarter than him, well, I'll let him surpass me in other things. In other words, I don't like to be dominant. I'm into power sharing. 

I like my man to be the one who wears the pants. I like him to be the leader. And if one of us needs to have more power than the other, let it be him. So that's why, as much as I'm practicing my tough side, I must know when to tone it down. I must make him speak his manly voice and I will shut up and listen. I like it when sometimes he tells me what I do wrong and ask me to correct my ways. I like it that I sometimes be the fragile one, that I will sometimes cry over little things so he knows how needed he is. And I do want him to know my weaknesses so that he knows when to be stronger to balance that. In other words, to all the men out there. Your women might be wanting the same thing in your relationship. Especially for the dominant women, you know that they will make the effort to still give you your Manly job to do so that you can have you ego intact. All in all, lets be reminded that relationship isn't about Power. It's about togetherness. 

May God protect and bless the relationship that 2 sincere people have - may they overcome obstacles one by one and may they sustain the love and affection as you command your people to live by. May the love they share just go bigger and deeper from here. Amen :))

Monday, January 14, 2013

The Spirit Of Jealousy

He was once a very jealous man. He did stupid things because of jealousy. It came a long way and it was still that way when he finally found me. Even I was the once the subject too. Maybe it was not his fault. Maybe that was insecurity. Wait, maybe there's more. Maybe it was because of the nonexistence of faith in God since he was not a Christian before.

Until one day he finally confessed to me that he was dead jealous at one of a man who befriended me. He even had evil thoughts of how he would wish for bad things to happen for the man; when he was unable to control it. Finally he talked to me about it and I said something that actually totally made his jealousy Go Away. Ever since that day, he has never felt jealous anymore. He was surprised too. When I ask him, Are you sure you are not jealous again? He said, Yes, sure. He kept saying, "Our conversation that day made me realize something." Honestly, I forgot what I said that did the magic. I couldn't even remember it!!

Only just now I remembered. I remember telling him, Why are you still jealous when I spent a lot of time with you? The time that I could not possibly spend with another man? And the things that we share and been through, don't you see it that I don't need words to say, but actions speak louder than words. What is left for other man for you to feel jealous after all the time that we have shared together.

He's done his time with jealousy. Of course, after he got baptised, he starts to have a strong relationship with God. It helped him even more to correct his ways. As for me, I have not much issue with jealousy as long as I remember. I thought I was always lucky to have men who never crossed the line. Until recently. I found myself struggling with jealous rage - or maybe I could deny that it was not jealousy. After that I just raised my voice and threw some bad words at him because I was too pissed. I paused and asked myself, What am I doing? What is this? The devil at work or what?

I made too many assumptions that cause me premature heartache - which shouldn't be there at all! He said to me, Can't you see it? The devil wants us to argue and fight! He doesn't like to see us happy. We must come to God for protection. Don't let it ruin us this way. We must call upon the Lord to protect us cast away the evil spirit. 

Oh man was he right. When I looked back at what I did, it was stupid. I couldn't help but agree. I apologized to him and regretted my actions. People, never think that you are too strong for another whisper from the devil. He'll be there during our fragile time. Faith in the Word of God will provide shield. Surrender yourself to God and He will guide your way.

Don't let the spirit of jealousy ruin the paradise that God bless us with. Fight it one by one by the sword of Faith. Jealousy, sorry, you have to go!
Thanks for this article that I read that inspired me a lot. You can click the link and read if you too have an issue of jealousy. I believe that God led me to reading this. Alleluia!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

A Bestfriend Quality In...You

Some people claim they don't have a bestfriend, some people claim they do. Depends on your expectation for a friend before you can give that title to them. Okay that's one. What about you? How many people in your life that actually give you that title Bestfriend? And what about their criteria too? Have you managed to meet theirs?

The few people I have talked to, who claimed that they don't have a  bestfriend, they said so because they expect too much from someone. Which in my logic mind, anyone who has their own life to manage, can't never meet that criteria. Then again, what about you? If you are one of those with high expectations in a bestfriend, do you fulfill those criteria yourself?

I tried to ask that question to myself before. I found out that it was hard for me to comply to a bestfriend's task to someone who expects too much from me. I have too much constraints. I can't always be there to save or help them when they need me. I am almost sure that no one would give me that title. Then I looked at my friend whom I refer as my bestfriend - what did she do to deserve the title? I'm sure that she can't always be there for me too when I need her, but then I never expect her to be. It's out of appreciation that I give her the title since she is the closest to me among my other closefriends. In other words, I am not one of them with high expectation of how a bestfriend should be. 

Recently, I notice that apart from being a self-centered person, I do have space for other people. I do sacrifice my time just to get something done for others, even if it doesn't directly benefit me. I'm just willing to lend a hand and It made me thinking, Oh, so I can do all this? But why I don't remember doing this before to anyone? So now I realize that we all have that Bestfriend Quality to at least 1 person in this world. It's only logical that the person is the closest person to us after our family. Of course. We can't just dedicate our whole life to ourselves, cos we are born into this world by a our mother, our of love, and it's by love that we shall continue living to make life meaningful. So if you find yourself slowly practising your bestfriend quality without you putting much effort of impressing others; which means you do it voluntarily not only because it comforts others but also yourself. This is where the work of charity finally comes to work - and according to what we are taught, Love is alive through charity. Love that only lies of the lips only means something when it's translated into a helping hands. If it's so hard to do it for others, then start doing it with the person you love the most. The Love virus can spread more from there - cos every act of love and kindness is nicely written, which if ever that God gives you a reward for something, it would be because of them.

Maybe every love that you give come back to you...:))

Friday, January 11, 2013

Distraction, Distraction ...

I managed to start doing some other better habits to spend my time at nite. I start to do a lot of reading on stuff that broaden my knowledge. I read some really powerful Bible verses, and some inspirational articles - and the more I read, the more I want to know and willing to read more. But then, what stops me?

What can go wrong during this time when I'm really thrilled into deepening my faith? Don't you think I'm just good to go?

Last nite, I went to play this Quiz at one IRC channel, and I found out that I got addicted to it that a few hours passed without me knowing. The greed to get more marks, to climb the chart, and to know more answers to more questions, I ended up wasting so much time. What does it get me in the end? If I manage to get the highest mark, what do I get? Compliments? Applause? I  can name a few more, but none of them actually matter in the end. All which are only temporary and not contributing at all to my well being. It doesn't make me go a step further in my work, not even anything! Just distraction that is there to delay my time so that I will get strayed from my original plan. Don't you guys see that?

This is about us. We are that prone to be careless with our times. Looks like this is just one innocent act of devil who can softly ruin us. We gotta be careful with anything that takes too much of our time from our real responsibility. Any addiction, any obsession. The moment it manages to steal bit by bit of your time, you're nodding to the whisper of the devil. You don't want that to happen, of course...:))

Stop these distractions from making their way further in your life. Distractions, game over!

The 4 Expectations

Tribute to David Wilkerson. I have been reading his blog recently and will be reading more. Although he has passed, but his words live on. I come across this article today. One of his earliest entries in the blog. It's about 4 Expectations. 

1. Expect to be rewarded as you diligently seek the Lord. “[God] is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him” (Hebrews 11:6).

2. Expect to see evidence of a progressive miracle in your life. “With God all things are possible” (Mark 10:27).

3. Expect to enter into God’s promised place of rest. “There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God…enter into that rest” (Hebrews 4:9,11).

 4. Expect the Holy Spirit to be always in his temple. “Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost?” (1 Corinthians 6:19).

Thursday, January 10, 2013

My ConScienCe 2013: Year Of Faith

Hi my readers. I'm back after more than a month not jotting anything here. I made some effort just now adjusting the layout and some other things from my blog. I want a simpler look for my blog - which I will concentrate more on the posts.

For the fellow Catholics, we are celebrating the Year of Faith from October 2012 to November 2013. So I will take this chance to Grow In Faith. I'm so thankful that I have made my babysteps towards this and I'm sure I'm gonna learn more from here. It's a call to understand and to know more about our Faith to our Creator. 

So from today, I will blog about issues that mainly have to do with Faith. Why not, right? We have time for things, now it's time for Faith. Lets make full use of this season to just be stronger in faith.

See you guys in the next post :))


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