How To Help Someone Forget You...

Anything strange? I’m sure at least one time in your life, you would need to do this strange kind of favour – that is helping someone to forget you! Erkss!

Yes..as strange as it is. In what scenario that we need to do something like that? Doesn’t everyone want to be remembered? Why do we need to help someone forget us? Ok..ok.. I have the answer. Sometimes life isn’t so sweet being together. Being in each other’s mind is only a poison to “moving on” with your life. And you need to move on for a greener pasture. This happens a lot when a chemistry ceases to happen.. When the love is gone. When the feelings are fading away. When two persons decide to part ways and find a new life. How is that possible when at least either one is still clinging to the past? How is that possible when the other one keeps bringing up the past memories to stop the other one to move on?

Whether it’s the guy or the girl could be the clingy one. I could easily blame the girls because of their softer nature; so they tend to be clingy. But maybe not always the case. The guys can be clingy too. So it depends on case by case basis, anyone could be the one who NEEDS this help. Yes, the person needs your help in order to… forget you. Yes, forget you.

Have I ever be the one who needed this help? I could say, Yes, I have. Only once. And that’s all I could take. In my case, I don’t actually want to forget the person, though I need to. I was feeling very comfortable living with my past memories. But I was making it harder for the other person to move on. The person needed to forget me to stop getting hurt. It depends on how you look at things, actually. So he needed me to forget him as much as he wanted to forget me. This was what he did.

Answer To NOTHING.

Whether it’s phonecall, SMS, email – Anything for that matter. If you want to make it even easier – Change all the contacts that makes the person easily drop you a “bomb note” with the message, “I have not moved on, so you can’t too.”

Yes, even if he had to do it in pain. In tears. But he had to do it.

If things were working out. No conflicts and heartache would even take place in the first place. So since something untoward has happened, getting haunted by the past gonna hold you in that heartache forever.

If you have found your way, let it be one last kindness. Help your ex to forget you.

Your ex will feel hurt at first…but trust me, he/she will thank you for helping him/her to forget you.

Note: You guys can’t be together, so there’s no point of holding on. There are many fishes in the sea. If you can’t make your decision on moving on, you always gonna be a life jacket for your ex – A jacket that has no life but save the life of others and others only come to get you when they need you. Think about it.

"Please Remind Me"

When my days are down, the world seems to crush down on me. I see darkness. I see sadness. I see hopelessness.

Yes, times like that do come occasionally. I’m just a normal human being. Sometimes I do feel very lacking and so insufficient. Sometimes I do feel like I’m the most unfortunate person I know. Sometimes I feel like I’m just another laughingstock to the world. Sometimes I feel like whatever I’m working for is just a-total-loss of time.

During those hard moments, suddenly I feel loneliness despite being inside a big crowd. Sometimes I feel like the most awkward person in the universe. Sometimes I feel like my life is loveless. Sometimes I feel like nobody cares what’s going to happen to me. I don’t even believe that anybody would ever spend a second missing me.

But only those times that all the thoughts come to me. Where were the thoughts come from?

Cos other than those times, I feel that I have the life that I want. I feel that I am surrounded by great people who appreciate me. I feel that I have used all my talents and abilities to make a living. I feel that I have a worthy life that I should have paid for all the regrets and mistakes I had in the past. So just in case the days are down again and all the negativity starts to take over my being, I hope that I have people who can remind me that those thoughts are not real. I am just temporarily blinded by the evil element of my brain. It’s just so funny when something is still the same, but the way we see them differs in a split second. This tells us even more that when we see things as they are, then only they become so. If we know we have a choice of making our life more meaningful, maybe we don’t waste our time and energy grieving over things that are actually blessings in disguise.

This is why I write this to remind myself once again that despite feeling that my life is empty and meaningless during my bad days, I want to declare that at this moment, in my totally sane mind without the influence of hormonal imbalance and evil whispers – I want to remind myself that...

I Love The Life I Am In and all the shortcomings in my life now are caused by my weaknesses and once I manage to overcome them, maybe I can consider myself living my most wondrous dream :)

Please remind me that … Thanks :)

In The Same-Sex World Of Their Own

The scenario of someone attracted to the same sex person is not that unheard anymore. We speak too much of gays and lesbian and homosexuals and what not. I have written about this topic before. I said We shouldn’t blame them. They DON’T want that to happen too if they can do it the normal way. I said that No one would pick to fall in love with someone from the same sex. But now I am not sure if I still agree with that statement. Are you sure that people don’t do it For Fun? Are you sure that the Same-Sex attraction is not to be blamed on genetic or anything natural? Why it becomes like A Trend? Why does it start to sound like Experimental? Or Adventure? Seriously. I think this scenario is worsening.

Are you surprised when I say that the common reason why people who are not born lesbians/gays become one because they fail to have a proper relationship with a partner from the opposite sex?

Is it acceptable to you when those who lose faith in the opposite sex might just turn to the same sex to get the dose of affection and attention? So is Heartache an enough reason to be One Of Them in this same sex sexuality world? It’s definitely easier. I know one girl who had it enough with guys. From being sexually abused when she was a child to failed relationships with different guys. She quit hoping for a better man. She then tries out with some tomboy and simply share bed with the knowledge of the parents since that they thought it was innocent. I know it’s not as innocent as her parents think. This girl is still very young to know her conducts. From the way she talked about becoming a lesbian, I can tell she’s very enlightened to become one and very much into the sexual too. Becoming a lesbian looks like a fun option to her. You go out with a female. You can share bed without your parents questioning so much. You can have fun all you like without the risk of getting pregnant. If you ask her if she is born with the tendency to be romantically involved with the same sex, she has a clear answer. But now SHE CHOOSES to try out same sex relationship because of the heartache. Now you see that if this can happen to her, a similar thing can happen to many girls out there. I just want to let you guys see how this is becoming like a trend. For many reasons, when the girls fail to have a proper relationship with a guy, they make this Same Sex relationship as an option. I have read the same thing from men. When they are frustrated with the opposite gender, they turn to the same gender. Can we just let this thing happen and make this world go berserk?

I’m not here to give the verdict or to try and correct anything. It’s your sexuality, it’s your freedom. If you’re cursed with the tendency to only get attracted with the same sex, maybe there’s not much u can do. But in the case when you make this same sex relationship an experiment or escapade, nobody can tell u otherwise because u have the power to your own life and body. The only thing I’m concerned is when you do it because you lose faith in love. I think it’s such a weak reason to becoming another freak of the same sex world. I think that you’re making your life more complicated that way. If things don’t work out, relax and enjoy your singleness. Why the rush? Love will happen again when it’s time. You people make the rest of them think that this world is short of love and compatible people that you can share proper relationship with. It’s NOT true. My last line would be – If you can have a normal proper life, why choose to have it differently?

It doesn’t have to be more complicated than it already is :) Think about it.

One Great Way To Learn A Man

One obvious way to learn a man is how he speaks of the ladies in his life. How he speaks of his ex girlfriend(s) to the things that he comments about his female friends and the female that he saw on the street. He couldn’t hide so much because from how he see things with other women is how we gonna see things with you.

If he complains that the female friend’s butt is too big for her, you know he’s doing the same ridiculous observation on your body contour . If he thinks that a female is “not that pretty because her chin is too slanted”, that means he would find a way to evaluate you so much on your looks. If he comments that the lady who just passes by looks really funny wearing a slipper at town, u know that he cares about the silly details of how you gonna make impression with other people with how to present yourself in public.

The words that he speaks about the other women will also show you how much he would respect a lady. If he speaks about his mom and sisters in the most respectable manner, you know that you will earn that respect too if you become someone special in his life. So the guys can pretend to see you like a princess in the early stage of courtship, he couldn’t mislead you anymore than he already did before he started giving comments about the other ladies in his life.

For me personally, if he has to go against me to protect and to stand by the important women in his life from getting bad reviews from me, this is actually A Very good sign that this man will stand by my side and this man will also fight for me if I become part of his life. Yes, I don’t mind if he has to almost lose the relationship with me because at the end of the day, we ladies realize even more that sugar-coated words are only a man’s sword to win our heart at the beginning but how he gonna treat us in the long run is what matters more. If one day he has to pick between you and her sister, it’s a good sign that he picks his sister. You can see it right away how he sets priority in his life and he must be really rational to know that Family Must Come First and a responsibility towards his family is number one; even if he has to put his romantic relationship on the line. If this man becomes your husband one day, you’ll know why you should be thankful for that.

So men…it isn’t hard to read you guys actually. You can’t pretend to be a Prince Charming if you can’t even speak the right language to your own mom. We know we have to decide once again if it’s worth it to spend another year with you trying to figure out what kind of a life partner you would become.

So…Treat The Ladies Nicely, you guys… :)

How Personal Is Your Handphone?

Today began with a disaster. I found out that my other handphone was missing. Something was really wrong. Suddenly the morning wasn’t so bright anymore. I looked all over, almost with watery eyes…Where’s my handphone???

I paused and thought for a few seconds – What should I do Now??? Suddenly I thought that I could not go with the day. All my initial plan to start doing my work was reset back to zero. I could not go without that handphone. What did I most concern about?

I realized that if the handphone was empty, I would not care that much. It’s the content of the handphone that made me feel like it belongs with me and only with me. It’s only by then I realized how PERSONAL my handphone is for me. I could not just pass my handphone to people and let them use it all they like. And now what if that happens accidentally?

Maybe that’s the price of being someone who is so reserved – I don’t usually share with people about my private stuff. It’s from the gadget that I often bring that has all the answers. But the problem is, once the gadget goes to the wrong hands, they will know a lot of my private matters. A total violation to my privacy. I am the type who likes to keep as much stuff possible because I really appreciate all the nice things people sent to me, and in this case, the text messages. So from my handphone, u definitely know if someone is special or not in my eyes. I will keep hundreds of SMS from the same name which to me are personal. My goodness. So that explained why I went haywire this morning?

To some people, this habit might definitely teach them a lifetime lesson. I remember many years ago that my ex called me during odd hour and he was so panicked asking me – “Could u please call my number cos I think I’ve just slipped the handphone somewhere.” I could remember that tone as if someone’s life was in danger. I called it but the line was off. So it was obvious that someone took the phone and remove the sim card. My ex told me that he put a lot of personal stuff including my pictures and his family. “So u mean other person has all the pictures now?” It’s such a bad feeling when something that you thought would be your personal possession is shared with the people who are not even anyone in your life. I mean, the feeling is so bad that u got really phobia about saving things in your handphone . Suddenly you feel that it’s crucial to not rely on any gadget to get in touch of the pieces from your loved ones. Suddenly you feel that maybe it’s impossible, but you have your memory and your warmest thought where u store all the nice memories of your loved ones, and not in the gadget like a handphone that could change hands by accident.

So is it wise to keep your handphone very personal? Of course it’s obviously NOT WISE to do so, but if you still want to challenge yourself that you gonna take care of it as carefully as your take care of your body and soul, maybe that option is viable. Hehe. I found out that after my ex lost his precious handphone, he never looked at his handphone as something “very dear” to him anymore. So he had to be heartless by deleting all the messages so that there’s no message left in the Inbox in the name of – “Trying to keep my privacy protected”. Come to think about it, I mean, do you have to deny the right and need to store the everyday thing that comes from your loved ones thinking that “it would be easier the next time should I lose it again.” Ouch??

Personal or not – Take good care of your precious handphone okay? :)

Note: The lesson I learnt today is – My clumsiness can cost me more than the price of a new handphone :) The good news are – My handphone is here back in my hand. Privacy still intact? Hopefully. Phewww… *Lols

IRC & LoneLiness: Anything In Common?

I initiated a topic at the chatroom yesterday by asking them a question

“Why do people who have a good life still spend time on IRC frequent enough?”

I received many feedbacks from them.

One chatter said, “Life is not complete without going online for a day. It’s an addiction.”

Another chatter said, “It’s just a way to skip the normal way of socializing but still “hang out” with the friends.”

Then I repeated the question just to make sure they understand what I meant.

And the other chatter said, “If one goes to IRC, there’s no way that the person has a Life.”

Ouch?

Just want to share with you the interesting answers that I received from private messages from different chatters. They came out with answers like:

1. They want to flirt and having fun

2. They are looking for sexual pleasure (?)

3. They are looking for someone to commit infidelity with

4. They are just fooling around

5. They are taking a break from everyday’s life hassle

The answers like “Looking for real friendship” does sound like too old-school and some agreed that “There’s no way you can find true friendship in the cyberworld.”

I definitely disagree. If you look for one, you’ll find one. Two people with the same intention bump into each other, yes they can bring that friendship to reality. We have many living proofs even in this modern era. No more questions. It’s proven.

I realize that very few people would admit that they go to IRC because of Loneliness. They have their families, they have their friends and some even have spouse and lover, but still there’s an empty space inside them that are yet to be filled. Maybe IRC is just a way for them to see the chance if that empty space could be filled. I don’t know you. You figure out :)

Why Sabahans Suka SMS-Vote?

Dalam banyak2 pertandingan SMS di Malaysia setakat ni, mau tidak mau akhirnya semua orang mendapati bahawa kalau ada peserta dari Sabah, confirm undian SMS dia memang meletup. Daripada Akademi Fantasia, Mentor, Bintang RTM, One in A Million dan yang baru2 ni, Raja Lawak. Semuanya pernah menyaksikan how A Sabahan diangkat melalui undian SMS. What do you think?

Reality show yang first di Malaysia iaitu Akademi Fantasia knows better. Since this program menggunakan 100% SMS vote, keputusan berada di tangan pengundi SMS. Since the days of AF Season 2 where beberapa peserta dari Sabah dipilih menjadi peserta, maybe di sana lah baru the whole Malaysia nampak betapa Sabahans ni memang undi secara habis-habisan. Kita sudah pernah nampak program reality di Malaysia ni yang juaranya adalah orang Sabah – Stacy, Juara AF Musim Ke-6, Ayu Juara One In A Million Musim ke-2, Pijah dan Fiq Juara untuk Mentor untuk musim yang berturut-turut dan yang baru2 ni adalah kumpulan Kecik yang jadi juara Raja Lawak. I also remember macamana Marcellus Gatisi dan Zizie yang tidak mendapat tempat di 3 kedudukan utama untuk Bintang RTM, tapi dorang ni dapat juga habuan sebagai peserta Paling Popular yang berdasarkan undian SMS. Sia yang orang Sabah dan tidak terikut-ikut dengan demam mengundi ni, kadang2 terpikir juga. Sabah ni kalau mengikut statistic kemiskinan tegar, adalah negeri yang Paling Miskin di Malaysia. Ouch!!!

Untuk mereka yang belum pernah datang ke Sabah, maybe dorang pun a bit skeptical pasal Sabah. Maybe dorang sudah biasa dengar yang Sabah ni miskin, banyak hutan2 dan gunung ganang, dan kaum etnik yang berbagai, masih banyak kawasan pedalaman yang jauh dari pembangunan. Belum lagi dengar bahasa Sabahan kami yang pekat dan a bit melucukan bagi telinga2 yang baru sekali dengar. Satu kali dengar, macam orang Indon. Dengan gambaran2 ni semua, mungkin ada yang berpikir, memang pun tahap pemikiran orang Sabah ni maybe a bit backward sebab system pendidikan di sini maybe terikut-ikut dengan “slowness” daripada bidang2 yang lain juga. Jadi, tidak hairanlah memang selalu sia dengar oran g Sabah yang kasi cerita mcamana dorang jadi panas sebab bila sampai di Semenanjung, dorang di tanya dengan soalan2 like, “Kamu di Sabah masih tinggal di atas pokok kan?”. Mungkin soalan dorang tu ikhlas, sebab dorang memang totally tidak tau apa yang they can expect from Sabahans. Tiba2…sepa sangka, bab2 undi SMS ni the Sabahans jadi satu FORCE yang sangat kuat! Sampaikan semua org buka mata. Huiyooo…Mau untung ka? Kasi masuk saja tu peserta Sabahans, confirm melambung undian SMS! Uikss!! Like that ka?

The latest season of AF ni seolah-olah “ikut arus” sebab first time ada 4 peserta Sabah yang disenaraikan. Sebenarnya popularity program AF ni memang tidak dinafikan semakin berkurang atas macam2 sebab. Biasalah…kalau season semakin meningkat, benda2 semakin boleh diramal. Komen2 pun macam cliché saja. Semuanya benda yang lebih kurang saja. Budak bakat2 baru tu tidak bagus, or juri tidak bagus or pengacara tidak bagus, but memang adat nya macam begitu. Sedangkan the most watched reality show in the word iaitu American Idol pun dijangkakan menghitung hari untuk menuju kepada doomsday. Apa lagi dengan pengunduran Simon Cowell untuk season yang akan datang. So kalau mau ditengok dengan scenario di Malaysia alone, if you have the power to bring back the Fever, what would u do? Or maybe if you can’t, at least you still want to bank as much profit as possible. Untuk AF sendiri, it’s a profit-based program. Tidakkah pemilihan ramai peserta Sabah tu satu lifeline untuk dorang? Face it people. We the Sabahans know it. You guys know it too. I read from a website yang bagi komen pasal pemilihan ramai peserta Sabah untuk AF tahun ni kerana “Orang Sabah Suka Undi SMS”.

Sebagai Sabahan, ada one thing yang the non-Sabahans should know about us. Maybe ada betulnya negeri kami ni memang a bit backward dari segi pembangunan. Why Sabah masih mundur? Kenapa sia perlu jawab sedangkan itu adalah wakil rakyat punya kerja. Rakyat biasa mcm sia ni yang spend bertahun-tahun belajar a little bit or this and that, I don’t know if you guys agree with me when I say that the model for 1Malaysia, in terms of spirit, are the Sabahans. I remember back in uni when I learnt about semangat KeKitaaan instead of semangat KeAkuan. Here in Sabah, we have mixed culture. Kawin campur yang sangat2 berleluasa. I think we have learnt to accept one another as part of “us” and not, You are You, Me Is Me. Kami tidak mudah melatah hal2 sentimen yang menjejaskan hubungan sesama manusia. Sepa sangka, dalam kemunduran ini, kami lebih toleransi dan very open about penerimaan kepada satu2 bangsa yang berlainan. Begitu juga dengan agama. Manalah tau kalau kepelbagaian etnik dan pengekalan adat yang masih kuat yang menyebabkan kami slow sikit dalam istilah kemajuan yang dipakai secara general, but sepa sangka, ini pula yang bagi kami kelebihan. Tahukah kamu betapa pentingnya perkara tu untuk mengekalkan keamanan di Malaysia?

So if it has to be yang undian SMS ni la yang how we show people yang the Sabahans are very supportive, so be it. Sepa tau, undian SMS is how these Sabahans voice dorang niat yang terbuku di hati to let the Malaysians know that We Exist and we are very much alive, we are Happy in our Land and we are very much moving forward. Speaking of Sabahans yang sudah menang sebab dibantu undian SMS ni, I’m sure the Sabahans pun undi pakai otak juga. If you look juara2 Sabahans ni – memang pun dorang tu bagus. Kemenan gan dorang adalah pilihan bijak and I’m sure, untuk Sabahans yang sudah menang tu, bukan undi Sabahans saja yang menangkan dorang. I’m sure until the rest of the people from Peninsular pun ada juga undi mereka ni. And the Sabahans pun unquestionably akan undi juga peserta2 best dari negeri lain. For me, memang betullah undian SMS ni is the way for the Sabahans to show to everyone that biarpun kami jauh di Borneo, tapi we are much more than what those people say. Maybe we just want the whole Malaysia to know that you should look at us any less because some of us are very talented, some of us are very gifted and some of us are also very lucky – just like Some people from Peninsular. So di antara kita Tiada Beza.

NOTE: You want to feel how peaceful it is without so much of sentiment and racism? Go to Sabah, you’ll learn the rest :)

Remember The Meaning Of FREE!!

A few days ago, the Celcom Broadband agents came to my workplace. “Free Modem, Free Modem!,” said one of them as they were making ways towards my desk. I still remember the way the girl waved that modem, as if she could just throw it away and didn’t care a bit. Since I am currently using Digi Broadband, I saved them time from giving me long lecture. I said, “I know it all already. Plus, I’m using Digi now.” I remember talking to a few agents at a shopping mall just to make sure I am making the better choice by picking Digi. “But we are giving modem for FREE now!” They insisted to be given the chance to speak and maybe make me change my mind. The word FREE is very soothing to my ears. “Okay, tell me what you mean by FREE.” I was trying to find out if we were talking about the same kind of FREE here.

“This modem is usually very expensive. Now we are giving it for free. You only need to pay RM100 for the registration and only pay for RM68/98 monthly for the usage,” the girl explained as the guy standing up nodding whenever I turned my face at him. “Oh, so this modem is mine if I pay RM100?” I asked curiously. The guy answered, “Yes, BUT you have to use this service for at least 1 YEAR then only the modem is yours. If not, you have to return the modem back.” I almost laughed. “So do you mean this modem is NOT FREE?” They both trying to snap and said, “It’s free. We are giving it for free now without charge.” I said, “That is still not free if I am tied by a “hidden” contract that I must use this service for 1 year then only this modem is mine.” They went silent. I know some customers are as cruel as I am. They are being very difficult. I understand what they mean and what’s the advantage of the new promotion. The older customers have to pay more than the monthly usage if they want to buy the modem separately. Ok, I know all about it. But I was purposely being difficult because I hate how these salespeople have misled those who buy the magic word “FREE” at first hand. As a matter of fact, in that case of Free Modem, I already caught them red-handed. When I first registered with Digi, I paid exactly the monthly fee of the first month since I bought the modem separately. I am bound by no contract. I can stop using if I have failed to pay the outstanding balance of maximum 2 months. But with this new so-called Free Modem by Celcom promotion, I have to pay RM100, which is already extra to any plan whether it’s 68 or 98. With the little different there, most of you would snap at me, “Hey, they are doing business ba 256, memang la ba macam gitu. Manada mau kasi betul2 Free ba.” EXCUSE ME. If it’s not FREE, then don’t claim that it’s free. We all know how business works. But to LIE or NOT is still a choice to make. An extra of RM1 will automatically nullify the meaning of FREE. So do you still want to tell me this is not misleading?

I remember when my mom was approached by a few agents at a shopping, about doing a lucky draw. So my mom did it was they said she was VERY LUCKY because her prizes totaled at least RM2K. They were some mini theater and other expensive electrical appliances. Anybody would be happy to be in my mom’s place that time. So they were actually trying to lift up my mom’s delight by emphasizing that “You have just won yourself these gifts.” Do people who get gifts take out money to pay for the gifts? No, right? If it’s not FREE, it’s not GIFTS. Agree? But then my mom was told that she MUST BUY any of the electrical appliances they are selling and then ONLY she can entitled to receive the gifts. Any item would cost around RM2K also which was Very Expensive but then she can pay in installments. My mom was about to agree because they agents were all set to bring all the gifts to the car if only my mom decided to do the purchase. Luckily my sister saved her from getting CHEATED. "Something is not right." Recently, my cousin spoke of the same thing to me how she was approached and being VERY LUCKY to be entitled to receive expensive gifts but she could only get them IF she purchases any of their products which also cost more than RM2K. I shouted at her, “DON’T!!!!!! Are you silly ka?” She found out that she doesn’t need ANY of the electrical goods that are listed as the prizes, and also any of the items that she can choose to buy before she receives the goods. “You gonna pay for the stuff you thought are gifts and you don’t even need any of them and you use extra RM2K just to make a purchase you don’t plan for the things that you don’t need. OMIGAWD…CAN’T YOU THINK??” it’s NOT FREE for heaven’s sake!!!

Just now I received a STUPID SMS about winning a competition – and my number was picked as the lucky winner. I was furious…so dead furious. I wanted to SMS back and say something bad because I read from the newspaper how this girl lost almost RM9K because she believed what the SMS was saying about her winning something. And she contacted the number and was asked to bank-in money just so she could receive the prize and she did exactly that. I would like to scream at the girl so that she can get back her senses, “IF YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR SOMETHING BEFORE YOU GET YOUR GIFTS, THAT IS NOT GIFTS, U UNDERSTAND ME?????”

You people must remember that GIFTS means FREE so if you have to fork even a sen from your purse, you’re officially being CHEATED and you ALLOW it to happen before your eyes. If you keep in mind what FREE means, maybe you will know how to protect yourself from scams. COME ON PEOPLE, WE HAVE TO STOP THIS!! Know what you are paying for. If you allow them to use FREE with another definition, FINE, that’s your choice. But NEVER FORGET what FREE really means cos if FREE has a new meaning, I am quite worried we don’t have another word to really replace what “COSTLESS” means.

If any of these salespeople come to you and can’t even be true about the word FREE, I can’t imagine they are being honest about the rest of the deal. Yeah, call me CRUEL. But maybe these people can use their cunning mind to make money WITHOUT cheating people with the word FREE. Gimme a break. You Should be smarter than that.

So Begging Is Now A Culture?

Whoa…apa mau jadi sama dunia sekarang ni. Ada yang bertungkus lumus cari duit, siang malam tidak tidur just to make sure kerja siap, and ada pula yang totally the opposite. Suruh org2 ni rajin2 kerja, and dorang2 ni pula just datang “minta” sikit bahagian. Biarpun bukan kawan, biarpun bukan saudara, tapi “Sia hidup susah ba geng, derma2 la sikit. Nda juga kau bawa masuk kubur tu duit.” Oh…mungkinkah begini cara mereka2 ini berpikir?

This is nothing new actually. Beggars or peminta sedekah adalah mereka2 yang kamurang senang jumpa. Mesti ada saja. Di KK alone pun memang banyak juga la kelibat peminta sedekah ni. Kalau sekali imbas, memang dorang ni hidup susah, and ada yang memang cacat anggota badan. Memang menyedihkan tengok nasib hidup dorang yang hanya bergantung pada ehsan orang lain. What work can they do to make them able to do something and get paid, right? Yes, memang the initial idea is that – some people are unfortunate enough to do nothing else but begging for people’s mercy. Those who have more might want to share. Ya know, life being unfair and all. We all know about it.

Sia ni bukanlah kategori dermawan or generous because I myself work my bump off to earn a living. Just that, I’m thankful that I am in the good condition to work and earn money. Bukan semua orang senasib. Jadi kalau tengok mereka2 yang meminta sedekah di tepi2 jalan tu --- kita terus paham. Dorang cacat, macamana mau buat kerja kan? Then rasanya memang patut juga la mereka2 yang sudi berkongsi keberkatan tu bagi sikit dengan dorang ni. Tapi mungkin betullah Malaysians ni ramai yang prihatin. Dorang cepat kesian dan mungkin dorang pun mau buat something good untuk get something good daripada yang di Atas. Well, masing2 punya reason la ba tu, kan.

Tapi cerita2 punya cerita, kesian punya kesian, sepa sangka pendapatan peminta sedekah tu adalah jauh lebih tinggi daripada yang memberi sedekah tu. Biarpun u bagi RM1, tapi ada 100 orang bagi at least RM1, rasanya pegawai biasa pun tidak dapat gaji RM100 per day. Look, I am not prejudice kepada mereka yang kurang upaya ni meminta sedekah. Memang kesian nasib dorang dan kita pun paham. Kalau kita kaya, of course kita pun nda kisah mau share sikit bagi dorang. Tapi ni lain pula ceritanya. Bila nampak pendapatan beggars ni bukan alang2, nahh…semakin ramai la mau jadi beggar. Wahh…rupanya ada juga cara mau dapat duit banyak tanpa kerja kan?? Mungkin tu yang ada di pikiran dorang.

Earlier this week I went to town and sat there waiting for the shops to open. I saw this one guy, I think at his early 20’s, dengan pakaian yang “as normal as you and me”, dengan rambut bersikat dan ada beg sandang yang kecil. Reminds me of budak2 kolej yang keluar outing dengan kawan2 untuk window shopping or just untuk jalan2. Exactly macam tu. Cuma this guy ada lain sikit. Dia bawa ni mangkuk kuning (mangkuk Maggie) and pegi ke setiap orang yang ada di situ dan hulur mangkuk tu. Trust me, mau cakap dia gila, I don’t think so. Mau cakap dia cacat, lagilah tidak. Totally a view yang shocked the hell out of me. Apa sudah jadi ni?? Memandangkan dia ni cergas dan tidak sikit pun ada masalah fizikal, dia dengan cepat saja pegi dari satu orang ke satu org dengan harapan ada yang mau kasi something di mangkuk tu. I mean, kalau kita sendiri macam tu, the first issue is, MALU a.k.a EMBARRASSED! You guys pernah kah joking dengan kawan2 and said something like – Sia betul2 teda duit oo, mau pigi minta sedekah dulu ni baru dapat pegi shopping. Yes, something like that. You know u are just kidding and there’s no way u would ever think that anybody would do that but I witnessed it with my own eyes that anyone like u and me could also be a part-time beggar! Omigawdd!! Now, don’t talk about losing face, don’t talk about embarrassment, this is MORE than all that. If u don’t have a face to save, or you don’t care a thing about how would it be if anyone who knows u or your family saw you do that would make u go straight to the headline of talkabouts- OK! Maybe u don’t care! But it’s a pity to have a perfectly healthy youngster to be doing something like that just to get easy money. What, do you guys see this Begging Culture as a workable culture? That, heyyy…while unemployment is on the rise, and let the refugees to the construction works, Why Work People? When we can just take a bowl and go around and ask a little from what these people make from working. OMIGAWDD, don’t u guys see it?

And ada lagi ni badan2 kebajikan yang selalu datang dari satu ofis ke ofis and minta derma. Bukan satu, bukan dua, tapi banyak!! Macam2 ada. 2 hari yang lalu pun ada juga. Masa tu sia sedang cakap2 dengan customer, and then datang pula dua orang perempuan ni. Dia bagi tu paper yang nicely printed on dorang punya organization yang membantu anak2 yang susah dan sebagainya. Memang nama tempat tu tidak pernah dengar. When my customer asked, “Di mana ni?” Dia cakap, “Di Semenanjung”. “Tiada di Sabah ka?” “Baru mau buat di Sabah punya.” Then my customer said, “Wah, jauh juga kamu datang hanya untuk minta derma kan?” Dorang cakap, “Ya, memang macam ni. Mau tolong kan ini budak2 kurang upaya kan.” That time, I didn’t derma. Sebab the same thing sudah pernah datang beberapa kali dan sia pernah juga bagi derma once. It made me thinking….kalau tengok flyers dorang and receipt payment dorang tu…memang dibuat dengan begitu proper sekali. It needs a lot of money to fly these people to go to Sabah and minta derma. Flight, penginapan, and then belanja “marketing” dorang pun silap2 main puluhan ribu juga tu. Then sia terpikir, kalau itu duit semua diguna untuk tolong orang2 susah yg macam dorang cakap tu, sia sure memang dorang mampu tolong banyak kanak2 dengan kos yang dorang guna tu. Then imagine laa, kalau ini semua cuma satu sindiket saja yang hanya satu level up daripada peminta sedekah yang duduk di kaki lima. Dorang ni pakai smart2 lagi, terbang jauh2 – wah… Don’t u guys sense something is not right?

Not to mention lagi bila ada beberapa orang ni datang bawa surat yang kununnya anak saudara dia sakit kronik and then minta sumbangan ikhlas. Simply kasi tinguk tu surat ja and then buat u rasa bersalah kalau tidak bagi. Lain lagi yang merupakan pesakit tu sendiri – yang siap tunjuk bekas operation or bengkak2 di badan yang buat orang convinced yang dorang ni nda menipu. Sia pernah bercakap dengan customer sia yang ada ahli keluarga yang betul2 kena macam tu and minta derma betul2. Dia cakap yang memang derma tu sangat bermakna untuk ahli keluarga dia yang sakit tu. Kita pun boleh paham juga kalau sudah keadaan mendesak. Apa pun kita sanggup buat. Tapi imagine la kalau orang buat semua tu semata-mata untuk dapat easy money, apa macam? I mean, apa mau jadi sama ni dunia kalau benda ni dijadikan culture. Sia masih ingat lepas ja dua perempuan tu datang, ada sorang salesman lelaki yang almost kami nda layan but dia try juga untuk say something yang make us want to let him show what he was selling. He was selling this travel charger yang pakai satu bateri. Kami rasa dia jual dengan harga yang tinggi juga but memang that charger useful so we just bought biarpun kami tau kami mungkin boleh dapat harga yang lagi rendah kalau dijual di tempat lain. Lepas that guy jalan, we agreed that, “If dia tipu kita tu harga pun ndapalah…itu rezeki dia sudah tu. He Made The Effort to make money dengan cara yang betul. You sell, I buy. I don’t just come and ask for your money by kasi dengar u cerita yang buat u terpikir sama ada I am talking the truth or not.

So my point here is, yang meminta sedekah secara “suka2” or “just for fun” – I know you guys are not worried about us – paling2 pun we kasi u guys RM1/RM5/RM10 saja, tapi we pity u guys – kena bagi anggota badan yang cukup, tidak mau guna betul2. Orang lain yang disable ada lagi sanggup buat macam2 untuk earn money…sebab kena bagi kehidupan ini saja pun satu anugerah yang bukan untuk ditengok ja dari jauh. Live it and if it means we have to go through difficulties untuk make money, terpaksa hidup susah sekali sekala because of circumstances yang tidak menentu – Inilah kehidupan. I don’t get it guys. Why you want to waste all your abilities. No Pain No Gain. But it doesn’t apply for this Begging Culture. Gara2 kamu, orang pun prejudis dengan mereka2 yang mungkin betul2 perlukan bantuan. So…Ask yourself, After Everything that you’re given and have learnt, is this the best way you could figure out how to make a living? Pikir2 la sikit geng...:)

“That’s Not My Problem”

Ini adalah satu line yang selalu sia dengar when ada dua orang bercakap tentang hal2 yang berkaitan dengan compromise or anything like that. The last time when I heard one person used it to speak to the other person, “Wow..rudenya!” Seolah2 orang yang bercakap tu betul2 tidak berhati perut, tidak mau tolerate even sikit pun. That was what I thought back then. But Not Anymore. Hehehe.

Sekarang ni, bila sendiri sudah rasa macamana hidup di dunia sebenar yang tidak lari daripada keperluan untuk deal dengan orang lain…sedar tidak sedar, kau sendiri pun mungkin akan guna juga that line. Biasalah dalam dunia business or anything, memang hutang sewa ni perkara biasa. Sewa ni memang bikin pening kepala. Silap2 business u turun sikit, semua untung diguna untuk bayar sewa ja. So memang biasalah banyak business tutup pun gara2 nda tahan dengan sewa ofis/kedai. Yesterday, ada sorang kenalan yang menghadapi masalah sama gara2 dapat penyewa yang tidak berhemah. Sia sendiri tidak sangka yang penyewa premis dia tu sebenarnya ada masalah dengan payment sewa bulanan.

So yesterday, kenalan sia ni mula lah buka cerita. Wah…daripada seorang perempuan yang cakap lembut dan baik, rupa-rupanya dia pun bertukar jadi harimau bila sudah berdepan dengan konflik penyewa yang tidak menepati janji. Dia bagitau penyewa dia tu sudah tangguh sewa selama 4 bulan dan asyik cakap mau bayar, tapi tidak juga bayar. Dia sendiri pun sebenarnya menyewa premis tu daripada pemilik sebenar premis tu. So daripada cadangan dia mau mengurangkan beban mau bayar premis tu, dia kasi sewa setengah dan just bahagia dua saja sewa tu tanpa mark up sikit pun. Tapi ini pula jadinya. So dia mau halau pun susah, dia tidak mau halau pun susah. Di sini la sia terpikir – adakah penyewa yang bermasalah tu sebenarnya memang seorang yang tidak jujur sebab dia make money from using the premis, tapi tidak mau bayar sewa. Or memang pun dia memang tidak dapat make that much money yang enough untuk cover sewa dan belanja lain?

Kenalan sia ni pun sebenarnya sudah cukup baik hati. Dia dengar juga masalah penyewa dia tu yang kununnya mau tunggu loan approve dan macam2 lagi. But loan yang dia tunggu tu pun tidak approve, so nda pasal2 hutang yang beribu-ribu tu tidak tau macamana dia mau bayar. So memang bengang habis my kenalan ni. “ If you kena dengan orang lain, memang u kena halau keluar sudah. Ini sudah cukup bagus sia kasi u bisnes sini biarpun 4 bulan belum bayar. If u tidak mampu, u tutup sajalah ini saloon. Banyak lagi orang lain yang mau ini tempat. Kalau sia kasi sewa RM2 ribu pun dorang sanggup punya.” – Ha…that’s among the things yang dia bagitau sia how she talked to penyewa dia yang merupakan someone yang dia kenal quite lama juga. So si penyewa ni pun mula la bagitau problem dia itu ini – memang rumit juga situasi dia. Macam nasib dia nda berapa bagus. Sudah make effort pun sama juga tidak menjadi. So, how should my friend react? Ahaa…read the title again. Mestipun dia akan shout back, “That’s Not My Problem!!!”

Adakah kenalan sia tu jahat sebab cakap macam tu? Apa lagi bila dia bercakap dengan orang yang lama sudah dia kenal. Mana sudah perginya hati perut dia tu? But sekarang sia paham yang memang pun betul semua orang ada masalah sendiri. Kenalan sia tu cuma tau dia kena pay RM3 ribu satu bulan untuk premis dia tu, dan how untuk kasi maju business dia; which are already very susah and memeningkan. Now u present me your problems pula, yg merupakan addition to my existing problems? Is it the right time to be compassionate towards others when you have done all your best to take care of your own problems? Why can’t others do the same with their own problems?

So actually, it’s not that heartless to say it. I have people who said it to me before and I thought that it was cruel enough. But I think one day I’m going to say the same thing when I deal with difficult people. And more thing that I learn is that – I will NEVER list to others my problems and difficulties that don’t concerned them because They Are Right that It’s Really Not Their Problem. :)

So You Actually Want Respect?

Just now, I was at a restaurant having my brunch. I picked a spot where I always sit. Trying to save time to rush back to the office, I hoped not to get choked. AT LEAST, spare me that little time so that I could eat In Peace.

The table beside me were a husband and wife, with a small kid. The wife was talking all the way. I didn’t know to whom she was talking to, whether the husband or the kid. Cos if she was talking to the kid, the kid was too young to understand everything that might come out from her neverending talking. And if she was talking to the husband, the husband’s mind was clearly wandering and was looking elsewhere. “Strange,” I thought.

So when my order was sent, I started eating. Trying so hard to enjoy my food. The taste was the normal kind of good, heck, we are talking about my favourite restaurant here. So I didn’t have an issue with the table beside me. I didn’t care if the wife talked alone. I didn’t care if the husband was agitated with the wife. None of my freaking business. I come there TO EAT. But I couldn’t help it when the husband started to take out that “sheit” – cigarettes. And I was. “Uh-Oh…This is a bad sign!!!”

Let me tell you guys that my irritation against smokers are getting bigger and bigger!! I could stand looking at anybody UNTIL they take out a cigarette. That sight alone can make you a DEMON to me. I would change my direction to the other side where I don’t have to look at you, to go near you or anything like that. I mean, you can be a good looking guy but that piece of cigarette can make you the ugliest creature or A DANGER ZONE I MUST AVOID!!

Wait, before that, let me tell you that I am not that heartless. At least I understand if your heart and lungs depend on nicotine so you MUST have your dose of at least 40 chemicals to feed your organs. So that YOU MUST smoke after you eat anything. OKAY!! I GET IT!! But trust me you can get all the dose of the chemicals you want regardless WHERE you smoke and TO WHERE you puff the smoke to. I wish we have this BOX, just enough for ONE freaking demon and have it closed when the puffing begins. This is to make sure that YOU get what you give. You puff the smokes and you inhale them all back. YES, NOTHING IS WASTED. I’m sure you can savour your 40 chemicals to the fullest!!! But since we don’t have that kind of box yet, so this is the scenario that always happens at the restaurants.

So the husband started to puff away the smokes. There was a fan at high speed just on top of them so using your MAYBE-NOT-THAT-STUPID mind, you can guess that you are giving everyone a dose of your 40 chemicals, and not only that, the ashes were flying all over and hey, we are talking about an eatery here, my friends. Do you eat ashes? And I thought the husband spared himself a little compassion and a less stupidity to Have A Heart that, “I must smoke now but I understand that some people can’t stand people smoking around them” but he couldn’t even DO THAT!!

The moment I turned my face at their table, he was puffing the smokes directly on the wife and kid who were eating at the time, and it was not stupid enough. He actually puffed the smokes directly to my table too. Maybe he didn’t have the intention, he just wanted to make some puffing free-styles variety because maybe it makes his smoking experience more enjoyable. (F*ck Off Lahhh!!) *Lols

I couldn’t believe that I sat not very far from A MORON. I actually stood up and changed my place to the other table – SHOWING MY PROTEST because unless he’s a rat, he must understand that his smokes pissed me off!! They noticed it right away. The husband finished the stick and stopped. Maybe they thought I was rude. Because if you were in their place, you might think that you are that despicable that people want to run away from you and it’s ruDE when people distant themselves from you while you’re looking their way. SO WHAT????

I am at a restaurant, I don’t know you and I come to eat. I don’t have to say Hi, how you you doing? because we are strangers to each other. But I let you have your space and you let me have mine. In this capacity as strangers at the restaurant, as long as we give each other our space to EAT our dish, that’s all. If anyone in our table is making too much noise, we ask them to tone down the volume cos we might disturb others. If a toddler is throwing food around, of course you will ask him to stop doing it because it might hit other people. These are the spontaneous things that we do because WE ARE NOT at our own place, alone. Even if we don’t have to smile and greet each other but we do have the spontaneous things that we do so that we don’t create issues with other people. To them, I might create an issue by changing my place to distant myself from them, but before you count my steps, LOOK AT YOURSELF FIRST. Don’t talk why people are rude to you before you look at what you have done to make them act that way. It’s simple. If you show to me that you don’t learn ENOUGH respect for other people, I don’t see anything wrong why I can’t return “the favour”. Oh, you actually WANT RESPECT?? Give it first before you get one.

Note: The restaurant is quite spacious. There are tables located at the opened area so that the smokers KNOW WHERE TO SIT. But I sat at the center of the restaurant where it’s clearly spared for those who want more peace. Most of the smokers sit at the right spot so though I hate the view, but still I leave some respect for them as another human. But if you violate the even the most basic unsaid rule about respect, I don’t see why you deserve one.

*Bah pasik jari si [256] sebab memaki tadi … *Lols

Penat Jadi Jahat

Hari tu sia bual2 dengan my friend(yang selalu bad-mouth pasal boss dia tu). Ada this guy tiba2 masuk and then pass kami this leaflet about a motorbike. Then memang gelagat that guy mencurigakan. Tiba2 dia tengok2 macam cari something, as if lah teda orang di sana. Gelagat dia buat kami terpaku dan tunggu what’s next. Luckily dia “sedar diri” and left. So I continued talking to my friend. Suddenly kami dengar orang cakap2 di luar. I saw muka2 familiar including the security guard. Then nda lama tu, tu guard masuk and told us, “Ada orang kecurian handphone” and he referred to the clerk just beside my office. And he was referring to the guy who gave the flyers. Omigawd! So the guy was a thief?

Speaking of kecurian di tempat kerja, especially handphone yang diletak di atas meja and then tiba2 ada orang datang and ask something, and next thing you know, Oh I lost my handphone!! In that particular building alone, memang kerap sangat kes macam tu. Jangankan cakap orang luar yang datang dan pergi, the suspect could be the ones who you thought were a friend. Then I raised a topic – We never know if the person’s intention is TO STEAL something. Maybe he just came and saw an opportunity to steal and he took it. It’s like, “If I don’t take it, someone would”. Something like that. So it sounds like I’m backing up these thieves…but NOPE. For your information, I had it worse. The whole handbag was taken in front of me, in my own office, by a so-called customer. But after I examined my situation that time, it could be ME at fault. I was being so careless like I could trust everyone. I just left my handbag opened on the floor where everyone could see and I was busy with the pc. Then it occurred to my mind, whether or not the guy came as a thief By Choice or By Chance? If your situation was anywhere giving a green light for A Normal Guy to turn into a thief just because of the chance that you put in front of him, maybe you should partly be blamed.

I remember asking my friend, “Let me ask you. If you jalan2 and jumpa duit, you ambil ka tidak?” She said, “Ui, kalau teda nama dan alamat,memang la ambil. Buduh la kalau nda ambil. But itu tidak sama dengan pencuri handphone tu.” I know, but the concept is the same. If you want to practice the righteous way, you would just walk away because it still doesn’t belong to you. Then I kasi cerita her pengalaman kawan2 sia yang pernah jumpa duit di jalanan. Ada yang jumpa RM10 and terus guna pegi makan and then sakit perut, sampaikan kepada kawan sia yang jumpa dekat RM500 and terus shopping barang2. Apa lagi bila kejadian tu semua berlaku masa masih sekolah. So memang mcm bulan jatuh ke riba ja bila “tertendang” duit di jalanan. Heheheehe. Pokoknya, biarlah RM1 ka, RM10 ka, asalkan duit, memang ringan ja tangan kita mau ambil. Jangankan barang2 yg mahal2 yg kita nda mampu mau beli. Apa lagi kalau masa sedang susah dan sesak. Memang ada saja desakan yang menjadikan kita si Pencuri or si Jahat yang mencari peluang. Pada pendapat sia, naluri manusia untuk memiliki sesuatu dengan mudah tu sesuatu yang quite predictable. Then bila kita mula bercakap pasal prinsip hidup dan nilai2 murni yang kita jadikan pegangan, barulah naluri itu dapat dihalang. Jadi sepa yang kuat moral dia, akan berjaya menepis cubaan2 untuk menjadi Si Jahat By Chance.

Then my friend mencelah dengan cakap, “Mama sia pernah ba jumpa RM10k di jalan. Dalam dompet lagi tu. Datin yg punya. Kau tau apa dia buat? Dia nda sentuh satu sen pun dan terus hantar pegi balai. Betul2 la mama sia tu oo. Buli tahan juga dia.” When I heard that, it was nothing new to me. I still remember the rare case of the taxi driver whose passenger left a suitcase stuff with RM30k cash. Yes, he actually sent the suitcase to the nearby police station and they found the owner who at the same time, made a police report on the lost suitcase (which was all his own mistake). Of course the guy was so pleased and overwhelmed by the good-heart of the taxi driver. I mean, in this world of greed and materialistic, we do actually have people like this still around? What I could remember from the newspaper report, I caught some interesting words coming from the taxi driver. Of course he was asked Why did he return the suitcase? Let me guess, you guys must think that he was just trying to make the headline and be known as ‘The Righteous One” and get instant popularity, or maybe he would preach about it was Sinful to take what belongs to others which sounds absurd (like people don’t know it and still spend years in jail for stealing. Hehehe). He actually said something quite simple. He said something like “Biasanya orang mesti akan ambil, tapi kali ni apa salahnya pulangkan saja barang yang dijumpa tu kepada pemiliknya.” You guys get it?

Like we heard TOO MUCH of bad things already. We already know all the bad rituals most people do. Oh, he found the money and took it and spent it. Like, Hey!! ENUFF!!! Like you wake up one morning and decide that you had enough of all that. When something bump into you, your crazy mind just pops out and -- Hey, why don’t we do it differently this time? Haahahahahahaahahahahahahaha. Isn’t it funny that Too Much Of Bad Things can eventually lead people to Good Things? I mean, you would never guess in a million years that Too Much Badness just makes you tired and then Oklah…now I decided to be good.

Oh well, How Cool Is That?

NOTE: Bahh…if adalah kelibat si pencuri2 or penyamun2 yang terbaca post sia ni…Are you sure you’re not tired yet ka? Hehehehe. Tired la baa… banyak pahala tu geng.*Lols. Mungkin masih ada harapan ba dunia ni kan guys? Hehehe. Bijakk…bijak…

Are You A Big-Hearted Donor?

Do you know how to measure the price of one’s sweat?

I’m not used to “giving price” to one’s sweat, that’s why I always ask, “How much do you ask for if I ask for your favour?” The main reason I ask is so I know how much the person is expecting so that I know how much I’m going to pay. It’s like a fair trade. But there are times when the people you ask for favour from are not bold enough to name the price. They tend to say, “It’s Up To You.” Or “Ikut kau saja”

Doii!! Punyalah sia nda suka bila orang cakap macam tu. I actually prefer it to be professional. I ask for your favour, I should pay a certain price that you think equivalent for the task that you do for me. So lately I needed a lot of work to be done. I needed a lot of people to do tasks for me. It’s even harder when your family members offer to do the job – and usually if you pay them, they will feel embarrassed to accept the money. Of course usually we prefer our family or relatives do the job for us thinking that we could save money because they won’t ask you as much as the what other people would. But if this is what you’re after, you might be wrong cos sometimes you could end up paying more, thinking that you have to be compassionate with your family members. “Jangan terlampau berkira sama sodara sendiri” orang cakap. Hehehe. Well, what do you say?

Tomorrow I’m going to ask for some “helping hands” to move my stuff to my new workplace. So I asked my mom just now, how much should I pay these guys?

My mom said, RM 50 sounds like a good amount. I asked, “Tidak terlampau banyak ka tu?” Cos all they need to do it lift the furniture downstairs, that’s all! Then my mom said, “Kira macam kau tulung2 juga ba dorang tu. Lain kali besar hati dorang mau tulung kalau ada apa2.” Then I was thinking – I thought that RM50 was too big for the task. But the same guys helped me before, I actually gave them RM 100 for helping me to move my stuff into another room and to disconnect the electrical appliances. “Sepa suruh kau kasi banyak sebelum ni,” said my mom. Then I went pening sekejap. For tomorrow, the job is much easier. I thought that it is a large amount for them, and it won’t be so much task for them because lifting the heavy furniture is just nothing to them. But I spare them compassions knowing that it would be a big amount for them and it would mean so much to them because money doesn't come easy. Like my mom always say, “Macam sedekah juga ba tu.” But then, look at me, am I in the position to be a big-hearted donor? Now that I will need to use a lot of money to arrange things since I move to a new workplace, is this the time to be generous? Hahaahahaha.

I agree with my mom that it would mean a lot for the people if I can be a little generous to them. I know that it’s gonna make them happy. I know that God will be happy too. But what I have in my mind is I should be in a very good financial situation before it’s proper for me to “donate”. Erks. But the question is, is it just an excuse? Will there be a time when we have Enough to share a little portion of what we have with others? Or are the people who use this excuse are just plain stingy? Like so kedekut like Haji Bakhil? *Lols

I remember having my brunch at a nearby restaurant. It has been many mornings that I eat there. Biasanya akan ada ni apek tua yang datang dari meja ke meja untuk minta derma. Macam sudah jadi satu jadual untuk dia yang dia akan datang restoren tu setiap jam sebab biasanya dalam tempoh tu memang orang yg duduk di meja tu sudah bertukar. Awal2 tu, memang sia tidak akan bagi. Sebab masa sia mula selalu datang makan di sana, sia sentiasa pikir my problems so memang sia rasa yang sia sendiri pun lebih banyak problem daripada tu apek. *Lols. So maybe kebanyakan orang di sana pun pikir mcm sia cos jarang yg mau bagi. That apek memang sedikit disabled dan dia memang sudah tua. So adakah orang2 di sana memang ada cukup2 duit untuk bayar makanan saja, or dorang rasa tu apek malas berusaha or dorang takut tu apek akan sentiasa minta dengan dorang bila dorang bagi sekali? Ahaa… macam2 sebab.

But until one morning. Hati sia hepi sikit. Sia tengok keliling. Sia cari itu apek. “Mana tu apek ah?” Hahaahahahaha. Then betul2 panjang umur dia. Nda lama tu, dia datang lagi dan mula lah pegi dari satu meja ke satu meja. Yang funnynya, oleh kerana mood sia bagus tu hari, sia memang mau derma sama ni apek. So lucu juga sia rasa cos biarpun dia sedang menuju ke arah meja sia, dari jauh lagi sia ready untuk bagi dia. Itu apek pun takajut tu kali sebab “uii…bersemangat jua ni urg mau kasi derma,” dalam hati tu apek. Hahaahahahahahahahaha.

Pernah juga dulu. Masa sia keluar lepak dengan kawan2 sia. Ada ni org pekak/bisu yang datang and jual that red bean yg ada tulisan, dorang minta RM5 untuk setiap tu. It’s like menderma and get a gift. Tapi ganjil pula kan sebab dorang yg tentukan jumlah derma tu. Heheehe. So masa tu sia terus kasi keluar duit and bagi. Dalam hati sia, “Dapat berkat juga ba tu.” But then, my friends mcm sembunyi expressi terkejut dorang. Maybe dorang pikir yg, ndakkanlah si [256] nda pandai pikir yg dorg tu semua lengkap anggota badan, cuma bisu dan pekak saja. Tapi kejanya cuma minta derma. Tangan dorang buli buat byk keja yang layak untuk dorang digaji. Then…the question is…

Adakah kejadian “memberi derma” tu adalah berpandukan kepada keikhlasan tangan yang memberi atau “kelayakan” orang yg menerima derma tu?

Bagi sia, biarpun sia tau org tu sangat susah dan layak menerima derma, tapi kalau sia sendiri pun rasa diri sia sendiri pun tidak berkemampuan untuk bagi apa2, still I don’t give. Tapi kalau rasa diri berkemampuan, biarpun orang tu bukannya susah sangat, tetap ringan juga tangan memberi. Pokoknya, memang bagus dapat share something dengan orang dan buat dorang senyum. Kalau rezeki kita murah, inilah masanya bila kita tidak payah berkira berapa yang kita mampu bagi dengan orang sebab kita nda tau bahawa apa yang kita bagi tu mungkin dapat menyelamatkan satu nyawa atau menyebabkan kebahagiaan dan kegembiraan. Mungkin kita tidak tau pun yang ada orang bersyukur dalam doa dorang “for sending me an angel” dan angel itu adalah kamu. Pikir punya pikir, like my mom said…itu harta bukan bawa pigi dunia sebelah. Kalau mampu, share2 la dengan mereka yang kurang bernasib baik :) Sepa tau, esok lusa, masa kamu pula :)

Note: Mudah-mudahan Tuhan kasi banyak rezeki boleh share2 dengan orang yg baik hati...and hopefully dorang get inspired by it and dorang pun akan share2 juga dengan orang lain bila dorang senang nanti :)

Sindrom Professor Serba Tau

Ini lagi satu perangai manusia yang buli bikin itu Pinatubo melatup bah. Hehehehe. Kau pikir semua perkara tu “kacang” punyalah! Then bila orang bagi penerangan, kau main angguk2 saja, as if kau mimang sudah kelulusan PHD dalam bidang ni. Apa kamurang mau, Geografi? Sains? History? Maths? Alaa…kacang baitu!

Pernah nampakkah Sindrom macam ni?

Remember the lady I told you guys about in the previous post? Dia cakap mau datang my house, ok fine, sia lukis pelan lagi. Macam pelan di belakang kad kawin tu sudah jadinya. Dengan checkpoint2 penting dan sangat jelas! Checkpoint yang sia bagi di pelan tu bukan main obvious dan “you can’t go wrong” sudah. Dia yang minta pelan tu, dan sia kasi la. Bukanpun sia yang susah2 mau buat kalau bukan dia yang minta. But gara2 itu attitude Sindrom Professor Serba Tau, dia main dengar nda dengar ja apa sia cakap. Dia cakap, "Ohh sana kah. Senang ba tu mau cari." Wah baguslah. Senang kerja sia kan? Sia siap bagitau nombor rumah lagi…dan sia cakap balik2 itu nombor rumah. “Ingat ahh itu nombor rumah.” Dia main angguk2 ja. I thought confirm la dia akan jumpa.

Kali tinguk…tadi tengahari dia call sia. Dia mau datang sudah ambil barang. Punyalah sia terkejut. Even itu first checkpoint yang sangat penting pun dia tidak tau. For example, kalau ada satu taman bunga, and cuma satu taman saja yang ada di kawasan tu, then kalau dia jumpa taman tu, dia mesti sangat senang jumpa lokasi rumah sia. Tapi rupanya, even the first check point pun dia langsung tidak tau menau. It’s like, “Where am I? I’m lost!” Sia jadi mcm tu patung ja di sana imagining macamana susahnya sia terangkan tu benda dengan dia hari tu dan dia asyik mengangguk macam tidak sabar suruh sia stop explain. Dan ini kawasan adalah kawasan dia, so sepatutnya memang teda masalah mau cari, MELAINKAN wujud itu Sindrom yang buat kau rasa 10 inci atas darat – “Hey I know everything ba. Apa lagi mau kasi explain panjang2?”

And then masa dia drive, dia call sia and kasi sound out my voice – Sia kena bagitau dia belok mana, ikut sebelah kiri ka kanan. Sia jadi pissed off masa tu. Sebab u ask me to ulang suara everything. And then itu tidak apa lagi. Macam dia pula buat suara pissed off sebab dia totally lost and tidak tau mana mau pigi. Tiba2 sia pula yang jadi “Si Tukang Kasi Keliru” sebab as if sia kasi instruction yang tidak betul. Semua checkpoints yang sia ulang2 sebut sebelum ni, semua jadi “benda baru” sama dia. Like dia “belum pernah dengar” pun tu benda2 semua. Now you tell me la sama ada si [256] ni capat panas ka atau mimang ada urg cuba mau percik2 air panas ke arah sia? *Lols

And I couldn’t help but raise my voice sebab I was really really pissed. Then last2, dia dapat juga jumpa. Tapi…Salah rumah pula!! Cos dia pigi ubah itu nombor. Let’s say sia bilang tu nombor 12, dia tukar tu nombor pigi nombor 2. Dia pigi buang lagi tu angka 1 sana. *Lols. Then I said, “Aiyooo, salah la itu nombor rumah” Then dia sempat lagi blame me di phone, “Tapi hari tu kau cakap Nombor 2 ba.” Adoiii, buli2 lagi ada masa mau blame sia.” I tell you lah, there’s NO WAY sia akan lupa my own nombor rumah. Tapi yg sia tau, kalau rasa diri tu Professor Serba Tau mungkin ada harapan lagi kasi twist-turn fact sebab mesti kepala otak Professor ni pact gila dengan information terkini kan? Heheehehe (/me buat muka geram versi pokemon)

Then bila finally sampai depan rumah sia, sia buat muka “sangat manis” sama dia. Sia lupakan sajalah macamana jangkitan Sindrom PST yg berlaku sama dia tu, cos yang penting dia sudah jumpa my house. Tapi…masa dia keluar tu. Dia membebel lagi. “Punya susah mau cari rumah kau ni. Nombor rumah daripada No.2 jadi No.12” – Nahh nahhh…sia tarik nafas ja dan tahan hati ja mau geleng2 kepala. Kalau sia ni naga, confirm ada keluar api sudah secara nda sengaja. *Lols. If sia ni Pikachu, confirm kana keluar karen sudah dari pipi sia wooo… Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Tapi since dia ni jauh lagi senior dari sia, dia nampak juga my face yang kegeraman sama kepeningan yang dia bagi sia hari ni. I was really really PISSED, I tell you!!! Kalau dia anybody yang younger than me, confirm sudah kana teriak oleh suara doremon sia ni. Kalau Tidak Tau, CAKAP!!! Ask abis2 sampai u tau, baru u suruh orang stop explain. Jangan jadi itu bodoh sombong yang macam tau semua perkara!! Padahal satu apa pun tidak tau. Ini lah satu penyakit orang2 kita yang MALASSSS mau dengar, bongkak dan pikir diri tu sangatttt la tau semua perkara. Semua hal tu macam Peanut, or Piece of Cake saja!!! Haiyaaaaaaaaa!!! (Alaalalala…keluar karen laini kalau sia ni Pikachu baa Hahaahahahahahaha)

Ini Sindrom ahh…kalau kamurang pakai…Confirm ada satu hari kamurang kana api naga jadi-jadian. Paham? Sama ada kamurang kena tempias air liur boss kamu or lecturer kamu sebab kana teriak depan2 muka. Sebab I tell you guys one thing. Nobody expects u to know everything. Then sudah lah mcm tu, when it’s time untuk orang kasi u penerangan, guna itu telinga betul2!!! Kalau masih tidak paham, guna itu MULUT untuk bercakap. Bukan kamu main angguk2 ja dan refuse untuk dengar – as if kamurang tu si Professor Serba Tau, cos at the end of the day, memang nobody is good enough to be someone who Knows Everything so Sindrom Professor Serba Tau ni tidak ngam dipakai di planet ini. Ada paham kaa???

Haiyaa!!!!

/me :PPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Moral of the story: If you don't hear it the first time, ask someone to repeat it the second time, "Sorry I can't hear you" or "Sorry I don't understand". Cos kalau terkena itu sindrom, silap2 orang kena ulang tu benda lebih dari 2 kali gara2 sikap bongkak yang kununnya diri tu sudah tau semua benda. Bila kana suruh buat, apa pun tidak tau. Wait until kamu sendiri kena macam ni oleh orang lain baru u tau tinggi rendahnya itu langit. Tinguk kalau itu naga jadi-jadian buli keluar api ka inda. (Hahahaahahahahahahahah)

Are You Sure You Are Not Hated For That?

When people ask you What Do You Hate About Other People? whether it’s something in their attitude, their personal hygiene, their appearance, their manners or the way they talk.

I bet you can name A LONG LIST of what you dislike and hate to see in other people.

We can’t help it. We are just born to hate things that don’t meet our preferences. We tend to avoid these people who have the qualities that we dislike.

I generally dislike people who use foul language. I mean, that’s the first impression that you must pass before I can even think of making friends with you. And then, I dislike RUDE people. Rude means the person cannot show some respects for other people. And then I dislike people who have no principles. I hate people who like to suck up just to get something. I hate people who pretend to be good because of a hidden agenda. Whoa, I tell you I can name A LOT MORE!!

I thought of this topic after I had a deal with a lady, who is my mom’s age. She’s very experienced. Being a breadwinner in her family, she sure has a good Survival Strategy. With not so sophisticated office to run her business, still she’s able to lure many thousands into her bank account just by chipping in to government-funded projects and grab as many small opportunities as possible. To me, her experiences are her winning point. To her, I’m just a “toddler next door”. Erks. Maybe, right? Who knows.

This is what the lady did yesterday. I had a negotiation with her. She named a price – even lower than the discount price. It’s A Statement, not A Question of “Can I get this price?”. It’s like – I have to accept that price or argue with her. And IF I decide to argue, don’t you think it will make me look like the bad person because I argue with an older lady (exactly my mom’s age)? In this case, I have to keep my manners in place so that I don’t lose a friend. But if you were in her place, don’t you think you should play your part too? I definitely HATE IT when she takes advantage of her seniority over me. I HATE IT when she takes advantage of the situation that I don’t want to raise conflict. I HATE IT when she knows that [256] is not the type who would lose face over things like this. Yes, I do hate it. It’s painful to even think about it. I don’t care about the money I lost over the deal. It’s just money. But it’s the attitude of –MAKING USE- and –TAKING ADVANTAGE- of other people. I tell you. If you have these attitudes, you gonna make A LOT OF people hate you. Ask yourself ONCE AGAIN, if you have people like that, come to you and make a deal “out of friendship” and squeeze your to your last drop of blood, Tell Me To My Face – Are you sure you are NOT gonna hate it?

I thought of this while I was busy doing something. I ask myself…

“256, Are you sure you ARE NOT like that when you’re in her situation?”

I can say YES to that question. But then, here comes many other questions that I ask myself.

How sure am I that I DON’T HAVE any the attitudes that I hate in other people?

How sure am I that I am NOT HATED over the same qualities that I hate in other people?

See that, people? That’s my point here. I don’t write this post to emphasize about the little deal with the lady. The bigger question is, sometimes we stare too long at other people that we forget that we have our own shortcomings too.

If you can write the LONG LIST of what you hate in other people, make sure you are not hated for the SAME THINGS people can find in that list.

Fair Enough? :)

“The Gifted Writers”

Do you think that A Good Writer is something gifted? Can one attend classes and still able to be a good writer? I mean, is it a gifted talent or something can you can learn and then adapt – then get famous for it?

Last nite I came across Facebook pages of my old schoolmates and seniors. I found a few influential names and then got access to the pages of the rest of them in their friendlists. I was so delighted to see that these people are still around, and some of them really make it big in their careers.

The most interesting part is when I found out that my A-list ex-schoolmates (they are The Smarties, high achievers list) are still very much with the same group of friends. I mean, some of them used to be the A-list students back then, but it wasn’t final yet. Each of them go their own way, some landed average jobs that might not be sophisticated enough to brag about. But it doesn’t matter at all. Most importantly is that, I never really get the chance to assess HOW they could land themselves as the A-list students back then. Yeah, I wasn’t in that list. *giggles. I found out that most of them have blogs!!! Some of them are not only smart, but hot and beautiful, and still think that blogging is their cup of coffee. To my surprise, I recalled that those who have blogs were all bright English students since secondary school. Maybe it was coincidence. I wasn’t even sitting at the same class with them because their standard was higher than average students. So…let’s talk about their blogs.

To my surprise, even if they are all good in English, and they write their blogs in English, I could still feel the passion and the emotion of their writings…BUT…some are not good enough for me to want to read what I have missed. I’m surprised that even with a very good range of vocabulary, and I’m sure they have been very familiar with creative English much earlier than I am. I found one that made me want to read EVERYTHING. I could not stop because her writing is just sooo good. Compared to the rest of them, this friend referred herself as “The Ugly Friend” because she’s really the average look among the rest of the A-List students. But look at her writing skill! I’m so impressed! The fact that I know this lady, I bumped into her when I went shopping to the hypermall where she’s working, I remember turning my head to her and shouted her name with my jovial tune, and she smiled back, “Long time no see!!!” she said. Yes people, this is the owner of the blog that I found last nite. Her blog is very plain-looking to compared to mine, but wait until you read—I’m sure you could go WOW too. I smiled that I just discovered A Talent, by accident. Cos even if I have time to talk to any of them, I won’t be asking about their Facebook account or anything, let alone, “Do you have a blog?”. So, I’m delighted that I found their pieces this way.

I mean, I see that my friends and their blogs are also belong to a blog networking that they create. “Do I want to be part of that networking?” I have this thought that I wanted these ex-schoolmates know that I have a blog too and they might find something they like. Or at least, my little thought said that I want that lady to read my blog and see if she likes it. Cos honestly, I have my own taste in reading too. And I can tell if I enjoy reading something or not. As much as I think I enjoy reading the friend’s blog, I hate to admit that I also enjoy reading my own writing. But I don’t want to sound like I’m so full of myself. No no. I could read my posts over and over again and end up smiling. Cos like it wasn’t me who wrote them all. Something else is giving me the force to write something and that’s why I read my own writings as if they weren’t mine.

I came across at least 5 blogs from the people I know and I found out that – writing is a talent that HAS TO BE gifted. Although I know that none of them really tries so hard to produce a good blog but neither do we. I’m sure the lady with the superb blog also doesn’t try so hard to make her blog that good, but it’s just so good. Eventhough I can list many blogs with good template and presentation, and hers are definitely not in the list cos it’s as PLAIN as can be. It’s just black and no graphics, no nothing. Her writing skill is THAT DAMN good that I thought I came across the best blog that can make me fall in love in minutes. The pleasure of reading, the emotions, the dilemma, the rambling minds – she described it all in the simplest words and YES, it’s like watching a well-directed movie. Remember what I said about a Good Author? A good author to me is the one who can make me create a movie in my mind and as I read line by line as the movie progresses. Do you want to stop watching? Of course you don’t. That’s the sign that you come across a good movie. And wait, but we are not talking about movies here. We are talking about good blogs. Can that be enough to tell you that Writing is something gifted.

Isn’t it a waste if we fail to see how gifted we are? And even if we know, we fail to use it, it’s the same like not knowing it at all. I tell you people something. Life isn’t easy for me. I’ve been through hardships and survived emotional aches mostly due to my nature and life challenges. I’ve come a long way and still have something strong to hold on to. I have reasons why I see life a bit more differently. I have reasons why I tend to exaggerate the small details and I have reasons why I tell you that the pleasure of knowing and using the talents gifted to you by our Creator is Indescribable.

She might not be pretty and hot, but she found her strength and she uses it. And then, I also realize something else. Maybe it’s not really about the writing skills. It’s the SENSES that makes you see life in such a way that make you have thousands of interesting approach to write it down. You see your surroundings like an unfolding art that can be further appreciated if you write it down and share it with people. I found out that, A Good Writing is translated from the mind. You must first have it “created so beautifully” in your mind then the little writing skill can make you form all the words needed. My oh my – Thank God for this.

Reading a good writing is almost magical.

Yes, I decided Good Writers are Gifted. :)