Monday, August 31, 2009

Nothing To Do Or Too Much Things To Do?

You saw someone sitting there doing nothing. She must have nothing doing. So saw her looking straight, what is she thinking? She might be thinking about how boring life is when you have nothing to do.

Tell you the truth…it might not be true!!! That’s exactly what someone would think he saw me just now. But what the fact is exactly not what you think. I have so much things to do, unfinished, half-finished and the rest are not even started yet. Sometimes you have so much things to do, you just sit there, doing nothing, taking your time – which one should I do first? I’m looking straight at the wall, not because I’m feeling boring but because I don’t know which thought from the queue that I should entertain first!!! Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

So funny right? But I’m taking this chance to thank the LORD above because I realize something that whenever we are stuck in our mountain of problems, He will give us the way out. Yes, HE WILL!!! He always will. I’m so amazed at His power. I am so amazed!!! It’s pity to those who don’t believe in God and His Might. I don’t know what would I be doing without My Faith in Him. I know that God always put us in the test. But I also make my own test. Not because I doubt, but because I want to open my eyes wide, and experience his power all over again. When I have a big problem in front of me, what I do is, I WILL NOT PANIC!! This is how I do the test.

I will put my faith in the Lord and I will go with the day with a joyful heart. The days to come won’t be less just because of my problem. Even how big the mess it might put me in if I don’t solve it, I remember that this problem is just nothing IF God decides that tomorrow is the end of the world. So this problem is just a small thing compared to the fact that this life is just temporary. This earth will be crushed in one second if the Lord wants so. So, thinking that this is just a salt and pepper to my temporary life on earth, I should think that this problem is enough to end the world. This problem is just a dust that is playing with my emotions. So, the thoughts are enough to make me smile and take a deep breath. I just Trust in the Lord. At the same time, I was looking all over for the solution, a peaceful solution. Yes, even if the solution does not just fall from the sky, it’s your job to find it. I have tested His power once on this problem that I had earlier this year. And before I know, I have solved it. I didn’t even realize that I actually went through the obstacle successfully. My faith gives me peace of mind and then from there, you can see the solution clearly.

God Will Make A Way, When There Seems To Be No Way, He Works In Ways We Cannot See, He Will Make A Way For Me

He Will Be My Guide, Hold Me Closely To His Side, With Love And Care For Each New Day, He Will Make A Way :)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

"Pregnancy Test"

Huiiyoo, apa ni si 256 tulis pasal pregnancy pula. Hehehehehe. Sabarrr, jan panic. Tiada kaitan dengan mereka dan keluarga mereka ba. *Lols.

Kawan sia singgah tadi. Sia tekejut dia tanya sia pasal Pregnancy Test. “Dorang hanya akan jual dengan yang sudah kawin ka? Dorang mau surat kawin ka tu?” Uikk…terbeliak mata sia meninguk kawan sia ni. Dia ni Muslim, bertudung, dan merupakan salah satu watak yang sia pernah cerita dalam blog sia ni. I know dia hooks up with 3 guys satu kali. 1 tunang dia, dan 1 abang sangkut, 1 lagi memang kekasih gelap. But dia ni tidak tinggal sembayang 5 waktu dan berpakaian tutup aurat. Ada ciri2 gadis solehah. Cuma dia ni memang liberal sikit bahagian berkawan-kawan dengan lelaki ni. I mean, dia selamba ja keluar dengan 3 lelaki dengan masa2 yg berlainan. Bahagian itu sia tabik sama dia, sebab dia boleh kekalkan hubungan baik dengan ketiga-tiganya dan ketiga-tiga lelaki ni memang melekat habis dengan dia. 3, 3 pun kalau boleh mau kawin dengan dia ni, tapi apa boleh buat kalau memang tunang dia tu yg lebih ada hak sama dia. You guys know about this girl bah. Sia banyak kali mention pasal dia ni. Dia la yang kena tampar oleh mom dia tu sebab kedapatan tidak balik rumah satu malam tu.

Bila tadi dia datang mengejut dan tanya pasal pregnancy test, sia jadi terkaku kejap. Dalam hati sia cakap, “Apa sudah jadi niii???” Dari cara dia bercakap, sia tau hati dia ni restless sekarang. Sia terpaksa buat selamba ja tanpa menimbulkan conflict sebab sia tidak mau mengeruhkan keadaan. Sia bagitau dia apa yang sia tau. Tidak banyak yg sia tau pasal pregnancy test ni. Cuma benda2 yang sia tau dari my conversation with kawan2. Paling2 sia boleh bagitau dia yang pregnancy tube tu boleh dapat di farmasi. Actually, rupa tu benda pun sia tidak tau, apa lagi macamana cara guna dia.

Huiyoo…apa sudah jadi dengan kawan sia ni ah?? Hari ni sebenarnya hari yang penting untuk dia. Hari ni dia akan berhenti kerja dan angkut barang2 dia balik kampung. Ibu bapa dia sudah mengamuk sebab sudah terhidu hubungan mesra dia dengan dua lelaki lain selain tunang dia. Dorang takut apa2 hal akan jadi. Nda pasal2 jadi macam kakak sulung dia yang mengandung sebelum kawin. Malu habis parents dia masa tu. Dorang fobia benda tu akan berulang. Kalau tengok personality kawan sia ni, dia ni alim dan bijak, cuma dia ni terlalu “open” dalam hubungan lelaki perempuan. Dia tidak kisah bermalam di rumah bujang, dengan alasan, tidur bilik asing2. Pegang memegang di khalayak ramai tu memang tidak selari dengan imej dia. Tapi sia ni bukan jenis org yang suka2 judge orang. Sia tetap percaya sama kawan sia tu. Dia tau apa terbaik untuk dia. Sia percaya kalau dia tidak tinggal sembayang, dia mesti tau jaga limit dia. Betul ka tidak?

Now…when she suddenly singgah di tempat sia tadi untuk tanya pasal pregnancy test, sia still tidak judge dia. Tapi ada kemungkinan yang sikap “liberal” dia tu akhirnya memakan diri dia. Kalaulah dia perlukan pregnancy test tu, confirm la something had happened kan. Dan for sure, it’s not with the tunang. It’s with any of the 2 guys. Sebab tunang dia tu di kampung. Ehmmm…sia sedih pula bila kawan sia kena melalui saat sukar mcm ni. Kalau memang dia pregnant, apa macam? Ada kawan sia ni dulu masa college years, seorang achiever yang sentiasa consistent. Memang otak bergeliga punya orang. Tidak pernah kurang 3.5 pointer dia. Even orang mcm dia pun terpaksa tahan malu sebab bawa2 perut besar dia sedangkan orang tau dia belum kawin. Boyfriend dia, yg pelajar sana juga cuma lain course, pun jalan tunduk2 berjalan sama girlfriend dia yang sarat mengandung. Orang puas ketawakan dia di belakang. Sepa sangka org pandai mcm tu pun tidak boleh kawal nafsu. Tapi oleh kerana dia ni seorang achiever her whole life, mama bapa dia tidak bising pun. Dorang tau anak dorang ni budak pandai yang tidak layak dinasihat. Cuma malu tetap malu. Tapi dorang kawin juga masa perut perempuan tu besar begitu. Tapi selepas tu, semua jadi baik. Boyfriend dia tu pun sudah jadi husband dia pun. Anak tu lahir mcm biasa. Asal dia sihat, normal dan lalui hidup mcm bayi lain, cukup syarat juga kan?

Actually, memang kita akan lalui satu proses yang sukar daripada biasa sekiranya kita buat something yang lebih daripada biasa – sekiranya perbuatan tu akhirnya mula memberikan kesan buruk pada kita. Sex before marriage ni memang lah dilarang oleh agama. Even sia yang Catholic ni pun, benda ni dilarang. Ia tertulis dalam 10 Hukum Tuhan. Tapi dunia semakin lanjut usia ba. Semua kenikmatan dunia ni keluar ke permukaan. Kau tinggal pilih saja mana satu kau mau buat. Untuk org yang belum buat tu, belum tentu dorang tidak mau buat atau tidak akan buat. Mungkin dorang belum ada peluang atau timing belum sampai. Besok lusa, mungkin kamu akan jadi lelaki itu yg panic bila tau girlfriend mengandung, or yang perempuan tu pun tidak dapat tidur bila lambat datang haid. Sepa tau apa akan jadi di masa depan kan? Bila tengok org keliling kena benda ni, sometimes kita terpikir. Mesti dugaan tu betul2 kuat kan? Sampai mengalahkan segala macam kepintaran akademik dan pegangan agama. Jadi, mungkin betul benda ni sangat sukar untuk cakap Tidak. Sepa tau esok lusa kita pula yang diuji dan akhirnya tewas dengan ujian itu. Oleh tu, dalam usaha mau jadi liberal, dan pada masa yang sama, mau buat benda yang betul dan tidak memudaratkan diri sendiri…

I come up with something yang boleh jadi jalan tengah kepada mereka yang tidak boleh mengawal nafsu ni. Terutama untuk yg perempuan – yang mempunyai satu bebanan berat di atas bahu dorang ni untuk jaga nama baik sendiri dan keluarga.

If someone asks you a question, “Will You Do It?”

If you HAVE to say YES…(and you can’t give NO to a chance). Then…

“DO IT WITH THE RIGHT PERSON”.

The person who loves you and loves you in return, and gonna be the one who walks the aisle with you. Should something go wrong, he gonna be there with you through thick and thin. Pakai la kepala otak kamu tu untuk nilai betul2.

Ah? Susah mau nilai?

Kalau macam tu, paling senang macam ni….

Don’t do it :)

The Weight Or The Shape?

Ahaa… ini something yg menarik. Ada sorang kenalan sia ni, she’s overweight. But her kind of overweight ni masih boleh dikatakan “selesa” untuk diri dia, sebab weight dia tu tidak ganggu pergerakan dia and she still finds the way untuk dress up dan look attractive. But still, she’s in the category yang overweight. So the other day when she dropped by, dia cakap pasal dia punya instant diet. Dia cakap, dia tidak makan nasi selama seminggu lebih saja, dan dia hilang 7 kg dalam jangkamasa singkat. Dia cuma makan 10 keping roti kering dan nescafe saja untuk breakfast and lunch. The reason why dia mau diet macam tu adalah sebab dia sedar yang weight dia sudah melebihi had, iaitu masa tu dia pernah reach lebih dari 80 kg. Whoaa…berat tu geng! She noticed that baju2 dia semua sempit. Dia cakap, “Habis la kalau kena beli baju baru ni!”. Baju dia berlambak yg belum dipakai. Memang satu pembaziran akan berlaku. Then, dia teda pilihan but kena turunkan berat badan. So daripada 80 kg tu, dia berjaya buang 7kg dalam masa 1 minggu lebih. Wow! 7kg bukan senang mau buang ohh! I mean, we are speaking of one week here bah. Terlampau singkat ba tu! Anyway, I congratulate her sebab dia berjaya juga dalam mission dia tu. But then, 1 minggu ja? Untuk sia yang sudah banyak baca mcm2 cerita ni, sia rasa short-term goal macam tu doesn’t matter much. It’s not about shedding the kg and then you’re good to go. It’s about keeping the kg away for good!! So walaupun dia berjaga buang 7kg dalam seminggu lebih, tapi hanya untuk dapat balik 14 kg balik dalam masa 1 bulan, what for? Okay, sebelum sia lari topik, bagus sia straight to the point. Actually, this kg thingy is becoming overrated la for me. People are talking about BMI (Body Mass Index) and all. Actually who cares about 80kg if you’re looking hot with your body shape now? (Well of course la it’s not logic. There’s no way you can look that hot at 80 kg!! *Lols. Unless you’re extraordinary tall la maybe kan?)

Walaupun dia cakap dia sudah hilang 7 kg, sia belum nampak perbezaan pada dia. Dia masih nampak very much overweight, walaupun selesa. So again, tidak kisahlah berapa banyak dia hilang, tapi I believe that it’s now about the weight scale, it’s about the silhouette of your dream-body, right? Pasal tu la sia tidak suka timbang2 berat untuk tau sama ada sia lose weight atau tidak. In fact, I don’t care about weight. I care more about how I look in the mirror. If I can fit my blouse and pants nicely – that’s very good!! I still remember those days when my mom put the weight scale near the bathroom, we couldn’t help but weigh ourselves every time. My sister and I, we produced the same reading!! My sister is taller, she should weigh more. My body that time was considered thin, and I’m shorter than her. I should weigh less than her, right?? But for many times comparing, we both produced the same weigh. How on earth?!!!

Yes, it’s the shape!! You have to consider that certain people are just bigger in frame. Although dua2 pun dalam category yg kurus, but there are “pemberat” yg tertentu. Contohnya. My sister maybe taller, but she’s less curvy. Her shape is more balanced. Mine was otherwise. That explained why we still produced the same weight. I definitely won’t want to argue why someone who looked smaller, still weigh the same. And if BMI is about your height and weight, I could produce bad BMI if I weigh more because my height is still the same. But dorang kena ingat juga, bahawa berat tu adalah berpunca dari tulang, muscle and fat – dan tidak semestinya fat saja memanjang!! Terlebih berat pun sudah kena cakap unhealthy. But macamana lagi kalau sudah semulajadi frame kau tu bigger than those who are taller than you? Apa lagi kalau jenis yang flat chested and lean backside? Nahh…nampak saja tinggi, tapi mesti still ringan. Apa lagi kalau perempuan, dorang punya chest and hips tu must be bigger than the waist. But pada kadar yg berlainan. Tidak semestinya perempuan yg waist dia 25 akan ada chest 32 kan? Something like that.

So, dipendekkan cerita, you know that the weight scale doesn’t tell everything. Kalau ikut style si Halle Berry, dia akan ukur sama ada badan dia sudah naik atau tidak dengan berpandukan satu jeans lama. Kalau dia boleh muat jeans tu, means dia masih dalam tahap yang safe dan tidak perlu risau. Kalau jeans tu ketat atau tidak muat, masa tu dia akan mula buat something about cutting her diet. I think it’s more realistic because it doesn’t matter if you weigh so much, but if you look as good as you want, It’s Bingo for me!!

What do you think?

*grinz.

"The Walking Dictionary"

Kadang2 sia kelucuan, kadang2 rasa a bit disturbed. Dalam sibuk2 buat kerja, tiba2 dapat sms. Bila baca, begini bunyi sms nya…

“Apa erti Stick With You? Macam lain macam ja bunyinya.”

Okay, fine. Sia balas juga. I said, Stick with you means “terus kekal dengan kau”. Then lepas tu, sms lagi, “Apa meaning Last breath?”

Terus sia tarik nafas panjang sebab suddenly sia rasa sesak nafas mau jawab benda2 macam tu. Sia mau jawab dia, “Tiada dictionary ka sana?” Tapi sia tidak juga sampai hati. So sia jawab juga apa meaning dia.

I’m glad to help ba actually. But it’s good if she finds for alternative yg simpler kalau setakat word2 mcm tu. Considering yang kawan sia ni kerja di ofis yang ada dekat 10 orang perempuan, and access to the internet, go find there la ba kan? Instead of asking me setiap word2 yang simple2. Sebab benda ni sometimes pissing me off bila sia terpaksa pause kerja sia hanya untuk jawab, “Meaning perkataan tu adalah bla bla bla bla.” Kali ni sia bukan pula rasa yang sia menolong kawan yang memerlukan, tapi more on entertaining kemalasan kawan sia mau cari ikhtiar untuk learn something as simple as that. If you sms me, asking me for my opinion. What should I do, what should I say, How should I react – Ahaa… tu lain cerita. Sia tau yg memang dorang perlu dengar buah fikiran sia. I’m used to it. But tidak kan la sampai words2 mcm tu pun minta tau meaning juga dengan sia? Sedangkan sendiri pun setakat2 duduk2 baca sms cinta dari boyfriend dia. Aiyooooooo…

Paling senang, bawa satu dictionary yang kecil dan bawa pegi kerja or mana2 kamu pegi. Why sia cakap mcm tu? Sebab sia pun buat benda ni dulu. Dulu sia pernah rasa malu kalau kedapatan check dictionary sedangkan teda org expect pun sia terer English masa tu. Then sia ternampak kawan sia yang jauh lagi terer English dari sia, dia pegang buku cerita Jude Devaraux sambil check2 kamus bilingual, tanpa rasa malu pun yang orang akan cakap, “Ahhh ketara abis dia ni tidak pandai English”. Sebab sia memang tau dia memang terer English dari sia. Tapi dia tidak malu pun. Jadi sia ni macamana? Nahhh, dari sana la sia ubah mentality sia. Sia mau kasi tinguk org yang sia tidak malu buka kamus. Biar la dorang nampak sia cari2 di kamus, especially orang yg lebih lemah English dari sia, supaya dorang pun ubah mentality dorang!! See that??

Buat apa mau malu? Bukan orang expect pun kamu ni anak buah si Mr Oxford kan? We are all learners ba, right? So mau malu2 ni, nonsense la. Susah mau maju, geng!!

Ini lagi satu…SMS sia di pagi buta hanya untuk cakap, “He said he loves me and he wants to be with me la. He said he betul2 mean it kali ni” My gawddd… What do you expect me to say? “Waahhhh congratttt laaaaa.” Gitu kah? Sedangkan sia tau yang dia sama lelaki tu tidak berkesudahan. Hari ni kata2 cinta, esok merajuk and then damai balik. Nanti bila sia komplen, orang cakap sia ni tidak thoughtful pula kan? But benda tu terlalu remeh ba untuk sms sia pagi2 buta. Lain la kalau dia cakap, “256, I’m getting married tomorrow.” Haaa…kalau mcm tu, tolong sms sia. *Lols. Give me thrill sikit ba dengar benda2 yang happening. Kalau setakat main love2 sikit pun mau kasitau sia, alalalalalaalalala…Matai laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. (/me berabis ketawa).

Tidak payah cakap banyak la. Kalau sia balas orang tu benda yang sama, apa dia rasa? Tiba2 sia sms and cakap…Ohhh…sia dapat peminat baru o ni hari. Dia main mata sama sia dua kali, and then dia punya senyuman tu mengingatkan sia sama ni lelaki hensem yg sia jumpa di Sunway Pyramid tahun lalu. Dia punya gigi bukan main putih lagi.” Nahhh…. Apa kau rasa? Kau tidak rasa mau muntah ka baca tu sms? Hahahahaahahaha. Itu benda fill-in-the-blanks tidak payah describe punya. Kalau sia cakap penat2 ja mcm tu, esok2nya, sia limpas tu lelaki dia tidak langsung tengok sia. Rupanya sia ja salah paham yg dia main mata sama sia tu masa. See that? Back to square one. No significant value langsung ba sms sia yang describe nda tentu2 tu!! Hahahahaahahahahahaahahaha

Actually, sia rasa mcm ni selepas mengambilkira mcm2 hal ba tu. Of course sia tidak treat semua org mcm tu. Hanya mereka2 yang caranya tidak ngam dengan sia, that’s all. But having said that, tidak semestinya sia tidak suka dengan org yg suka sms bukan2 ni. Sia suka dengan kawan sia tu, dan sia akan selalu welcome dia kalau dia mau datang cerita2. Cuma perangai sms dia ni kadang2 menyesakkan nafas sia. Sebab dia dan boyfriend dia tu, dua2 kawan sia. Dorang boleh berjumpa dan cakap sendiri, tapi kadang2 tu mau juga melalui sia. Lepas tu, bila sia sampaikan, dia argue lagi yg kununnya boyfriend dia tidak mengaku ada cakap benda tu. Doiiiiiiiiii???? Don’t I have better things to do kah???

Hahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahaahaha.

So…ketawa tu ketawa juga. Sia belum taruh “Walking dictionary” ni sebagai salah satu joblist sia. So, sebelum sia taruh, don’t make me one, yet. Ok? Ok good! Bring the freaking dictionary, ok???

*Lols

Friday, August 28, 2009

H.I.V – Not A Joke

I want to remind my fellow friends – or anybody who visit my blog. H.I.V is nothing new to the human race. I heard about H.I.V and AIDS for many years but I never really think it’s something that I should worry about. I always thought that people are just trying to sound too serious when it’s not exactly that serious. I always know that AIDS can spread from sharing needles, random sex or same sex partner – and then I came to learn that it could also be accidentally transmitted from blood donation. Since that, I know that getting AIDS is NOT always your own fault. Isn’t it scary enough?

Spare a little bit of your thoughts on this. Many people out there are way ahead of me. They are being more cautious from the beginning. I remember talking to an American pal. He said, he rather save himself for marriage and stay a virgin until he finds the right one because there’s just too many concerns about diseases that could spread from sexual intercourse. I thought that he was just trying to sound like he’s been leading a righteous way of life – I mean, an American, what do you expect?

The news has to feed me many and many shocking reports about how fast the infection is spreading worldwide. Still, I don’t think it’s serious enough. HIV? Ahh…that’s a disease that people like me shouldn’t be worried about. There are thousands of workers in the sex slavery that should worry. Including those people who are getting their service- They should worry. Not me. But then, after hearing unwelcomed news for thousands of times, it finally hit me. They are not anymore talking about adults who lead unhealthy lifestyle. They are talking about kids. It’s happening every hour. More and more lives are now counting the days. We don’t know how long they gonna be live. Their immune system is a ticking bomb. It’s KIDS, my friends. KIDS. They are too young to even know how to spell AIDS. They couldn’t even remember the 3 big word- HIV – which is now, the reason why they have to go earlier than the normal kids. Why do they have to inherit what could be the mistake of others? The most unacceptable fact is when the kids inherit it from the parents!!! Have you done your part?

I want to make this short and straight to the point. Don’t make others pay for your own mistakes. As a matter of fact, life is getting back at you the worse possible way. It’s by watching the people you love suffer with you, from your own doing. Yes, some people get it by mistakes or accidents. I could only pray them all the mercy God could give them. But now, I’m talking about YOU, who is given all the wisdom to get something done. Do something about this and don’t be part of the statistics. HIV is NOT a joke!! Don’t give this a chance to ruin your life!!! And if you think it’s a weak reason to start cleaning your acts, at least think about the kids that are going to get affected by this. Anything you do today that gives way to HIV, could spread to many other innocent lives after you. PLEASE DO SOMETHING!!!

The White Lies Of A Single Mom

I know this lady back then in my workplace. She was renting the office area nearby to start working on her own. She ends up working on his own after quitting from a company she worked for years. She told me was accused of cheating and mishandling money. She quitted her job because she wanted to prove her innocence and keep her dignity. I remember having a special respect for her courage to do something like that just in the name of dignity.

She also told me about “her husband”. I saw that man quite often, helping her to set up her new office. I came to learn that she has 6 kids. They are from age 5 to 17 years old. She has a job and a husband. It won’t be that hard to raise 6 kids, I thought.

And then, who would have guessed that my random customers also know this lady. Some of them are from the same company she used to work at. They told me, “That lady is a crook”. Ahaa…you think I believed? Nope I didn’t. They told me about how the lady was accused of mishandling money by their boss. I told them, “There got to be something wrong.” I backed her up because I have had heart-to-heart talk with the lady about how she was framed. And if she was telling the truth, it was all just misunderstanding. I believed in her. One of them said, “If one person said she cheated, maybe the person could be wrong. But we are not talking about one person. We have a few witnesses.” According to them, it’s more than just money issue, but also moral issue. The lady couldn’t be trusted. Still, I never believed. For me, seeing is believing. I don’t buy rumours that easily.

It was just the beginning. Things started to unveil. Being around my workplace, I can’t run from the gossips that going around. The lady was starting to create troubles – She made large orders but she didn’t pay according to the agreement. Surprisingly, to count the victims that are affected by this to be among the people I know, it’s also a reliable number just enough to shock me. Each of them at least came to me once and told me “they got cheated” by the lady. They haven’t received the payment she promised. Still, it’s hard to believe. It’s so happened that she never created problems with me. If she bought something from me, she paid right away. I never have bad issues with her so far. But everyone else seems to have a trust issue in this lady.

After a while, I saw her kids more often especially during school holidays. When her kids are around, the place would be noisy hearing her screaming at them when they start making nuisance. I can tell that life must be hectic for her for having a few small kids. The man that she claimed to be her husband doesn’t help that much. He always comes just to drop a visit at the office. I learned much latter than that man is NOT even her husband. It was just “a male companion.” The kids called the man as Uncle, and not Dad. Did she have to ask a male friend to pretend to be her husband just to cover up her real status?

I learnt a bit late that this lady keeps a lot of secrets. She lied to me about “her husband”. I never cared about her personal life to begin with, why would she lie to me? People said that the real husband left her. So I understand that she’s a single mother. Is it embarrassing to admit that? She can’t run forever from the fact, right? Knowing that she lied about something like that, she must be lying about other things too. The next person who came to me and complained about her that she haven’t paid a thousand ringgit worth of goods, I told the person this. “Maybe you have to consider that she has 6 KIDS to raise, all by herself.” Then the person dropped his jaw. “What?? Are you sure she’s a single mom with 6 kids?” Yeah. If people knew that she is a single mom who has to raise 6 kids, maybe they would spare her some thoughts if she’s late in making payment. But she has been telling lies about her status. In my opinion, the fact that she’s a single mom has a lot to do with her financial situation.

I understand something. Maybe this lady led into financial problems because it’s tough to live on her own, and having to raise 6 growing kids, alone. She has to think about renting a house, their schooling, their other needs, and then not to mention her own needs. I understand that she has to do whatever it takes to look for income. I heard that she is taking many different jobs that she isn’t that good in. She still takes the opportunities because of the chance to make money. And she works so hard. She comes early to work and then leave when the building is almost empty. She might have breached some agreements of paying in time. She might get complained for being less efficient in carrying on her side-income jobs. She might have a bad reputation of handling money in her former company. Yes, she might even tell a lot of lies to other people to cover up her personal life. Who knows that maybe she’s too embarrassed that her husband left her for other woman. Who knows right? In my position, I can even add up to the list that she’s a big liar. She lied to innocent people like me, who are in no position to evaluate her.

But I took my time and see something beyond this.

This lady works her butt off day and nite just so she can bring something home for her kids. One thing that I can never close my eyes on is that, she is a good mother. How she talked of his children shows that she wants the best for their education. If anybody else in her position, can you tell for sure that you gonna do it better than her?

That’s why I find my way to FORGIVE her for telling lies. I feel quite deep for her that I hope her children will know how far their mother would go just to give them a reasonably good life she could afford to give. She would rather the whole world lose trust on her, call her a crook or a liar, or an unreliable business partner – just to fulfill her number one duty – A MOTHER. Maybe she doesn’t have a choice to do things any better.

All the lies that she told – I call them The White Lies. She lied not for the intention of misleading people. But maybe she’s just protecting her dignity so that others won’t think less of her. Her children better be good to her. I’m a witness that this lady puts nothing above her children.

Maybe one day we could be in that position too. We unintentionally tell people lies that to protect ourselves, just so people don’t think of us any less. Maybe one day we also hope that people don’t necessarily ask for explanation why we have to tell white lies. Maybe one day we also hope that people can just find a way to understand.

Think about it.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Moments Worth Remembering: A Special Birthday Wish For My Big Bro, Ulal @ Jojon

A lot of people have been curious why on earth did I pick Jojon as my big bro. Since almost a year ago, I have received a lot of funny questions regarding the special attention that I give him. He gets a tribute page in my blog less than a month after I release this blog and then I made a logo for his nick for the channel’s website with my signature on it. This is what you guys could see. What most of you guys couldn’t see is what’s happening behind the scene. How many little disputes about this that happened outside the channel – all revolving around my relationship with my big bro. Some of them made me burst laughing. Some just refuse to accept my answers. But it’s too late. I rest my case.

So I take this chance to write down a few things, just for the two of us to remember the fun moments yg sia pun almost lupa. Nasib sia sudah asah balik ingatan sia.. First…sia mau cakap awal2… Jojon jangan nangis ahh bila baca. (*Lols.)

1. Setahun yang lalu, sia ni chatter baru. Teda sepa kenal sia. Tapi Ulal made me feel so welcomed walaupun dia masih unsure sia ni lelaki ka perempuan. Dia ni betul2 tidak pakai double standard and langsung tidak berlagak yang dia ni chatter lama. Walaupun baru first time nampak nick sia, dia tetap chat dengan rancaknya dengan sia di channel tu.

2. Baru beberapa hari chat dengan dia, sia sometimes masuk channel pakai nick lain untuk parking bila sia tidak free untuk chat. Sia tertangkap juga line masa dia tanya2 dengan chatter lain, “Ada nampak itu Twofivesix[256] kah?” Sia terkejut juga sebab rupanya dia ingat juga dengan sia walaupun sia ni chatter baru yg tidak dikenali. Then yang sia paling terharu adalah bila dorang chat pasal paintball. Dia nda sedar sia ada parking nick di channel tu guna nick lain. Dengan bangganya dia cakap, “Kalau sia main tu paintball, sia mau tembak si 256” – Terharu I. (*Lols)

3. Kami menjadi teman seperjuangan dalam jangka masa yang singkat saja apabila menjadi mangsa kickban script gara2 flooding – sebab awal2 pagi lagi kami membising di channel, and biasanya, tiba2 saja tanpa kami sedar, kami dua2 sudah berada di luar channel. Lepas tu, kami akan meminta kesian di channel #Sabah untuk minta kana unban di #KK. Kalau salah seorang dari kami masih selamat dari kena kick, kami akan tolong sorang lagi untuk minta unban. Masa ni sia terharu juga, sebab dia akan penat2 private message sia, “Ui bebeh, buli join sudah tu channel balik” *Lols. I mean, kesungguhan dia supaya kami sama2 boleh buat bising di channel – cukup mengharukan sia. *Lols

4. Sudah sibuk2 bising di channel, akhirnya si Ulal pecah tradisi dengan private message sia untuk lebih daripada cuma untuk bagitau yang sia sudah kena unban. *Lols. Awal2 tu sia rasa serba salah sebab sia ada satu policy untuk tidak layan private message – but since dia adalah si Ulal yang sudah jadi kawan membising sia di channel, then sia jawab juga dia. Sia masih ingat lagi apa dia cakap dengan sia. “Siukk betul chat sama kau oh, bebeh. Mesti ada saja topik yg best.” Itu dia yang cakap ahh, bukan sia. (*Lols).

5. Then dari sana, dia mesti private message sia bila dia tau sia ada di channel. Sia langsung tidak imagine yg sia akan rapat dengan dia ni, sebab masa tu, sia punya tujuan untuk masuk chatting adalah untuk berhibur dan hanya akan chat di public channel. I initially didn’t want to get personal with any of the chatters, actually. Sia tidak suka soalan2 private yg sia terpaksa jawab kalau sia layan chat di private message. Tapi Ulal sudah proved himself yang dia sangat berbeza dgn yang lain sebab dia tidak bagi sia sebarang tekanan. Masa kami chat, kami akan mostly ketawa saja. From there we start cerita about kenangan masa kecil2 dan dia ni sangat suka sharing cerita. Sia masih ingat yg sia betul2 terharu sama cerita masa dia kecil – sampaikan ada sekali tu sia nangis. Hehehe. Ulal cakap, “Jangan nangis.” Dia memang macam tu. Selamba ja bila suruh org buat benda2 yang berat. Hahahaha. Yang sia geram dengan si Ulal ni, oleh kerana dia mula rapat dengan sia, so sia akhirnya show juga perangai sebenar sia sama dia. Actually I only would like people to know me as si Twofivesix[256] yang flirty dan happy go lucky mcm yg orang nampak di channel.

6. Sia ingat lagi bila picture sia kana display di website tanpa izin, sia betul2 kecil hati dan tanya sama si Ulal apa sia perlu buat sebab kalau mau diikutkan hati, sia akan mengamuk buat kali pertamanya. I imagined nobody wanted to see me that way after I’ve been nice to most people. Tapi sia tanya dia dulu sebelum sia buat macam tu, and then Ulal tulung cakap sama org tu yang sia kecil hati sebab pic sia kena display tanpa kebenaran, so orang tu minta sorry dengan sia, dan semuanya settle. No hard feelings. My point is, walaupun pada mulanya Ulal sudah tau serba sedikit tentang perangai sia, dia cuba juga untuk paham sia instead of asking me to change my ways. Yes, walaupun sebenarnya dia kurang setuju juga dengan style sia tu. (/me garu kepala buat2 nda tau *Lols)

7. Kalau sia try to experience how it feels to be Ulal’s little sister, then I recall a few things. Pernah beberapa kali dia tulis memo pun gara2 sia yang suruh. Masa dia sudah jadi op, sia buat permintaan yang bukan2. Dia pernah kena smash sebab entertained permintaan sia yang bukan2 tu dan dia tidak sekali pun blame sia balik atau pun bagitau orang yg – “actually si [256] yang suruh sia buat gitu.- Walaupun sia minta sorry sama dia, but sia sendiri tidak begitu sedar that apa yg sia buat tu actually a bit more serious that it looked. Sia pernah minta pinjam “topi kombat” dia untuk rasa macamana ada di atas channel dan walaupun dia ragu2, tapi akhirnya dia bagi juga. Lepas tu, sia insaf sudah dan tidak mau pinjam topi combat dia setelah Ulal mengalami krisis nickname pada masa tu. Hehehe. (/me injut 1 kali tanda insaf. *Lols). Sia heran juga lepas apa yg sia buat, sia punya lengan ni belum lebam lagi kena cubit oleh dia ba. Hahahahahahaha.

8. After a while panggil2 dia big bro, pada mulanya sia anggap benda tu panggilan biasa2 saja. But then sia masih ingat how dia back up sia di channel masa ada chatter cakap kasar dengan sia. Masa tu sia terkejut juga sebab biasanya Ulal ni orang yang semuanya masuk saja. Kalau dia kena maki pun dia selamba ja. Dia biasanya tidak akan timbulkan conflict. Nda sangka pula dia akan back up sia dalam hal2 yang kecil mcm tu. Dan ada sekali tu sia pernah kena kritik secara terbuka oleh seorang chatter masa di public channel. Orang tu cakap sia ni keterlaluan dan suka kasi main2 perasaan orang. Sia mengadu dengan Ulal yang sia rasa perkara tu memalukan sia. Masa tu first time sia nampak si Ulal start sudah mau panas masa dia minta penjelasan daripada chatter tu. Nasib la sia cepat2 suruh dia stop and hal tu tidak berlanjutan. Itu adalah antara moments2 yang sia start rasa yang dia sebenarnya bukan setakat big bro pada nama saja. Dia memang treat sia mcm little sister dia.

9. Dia selalu nasihat sia supaya pikir secara positif. Jadi sebelum sia cakap apa2 yang negative, sia akan ingat apa dia cakap dan akhirnya sia tidak jadi teruskan benda negative yang sia mau cakap tu sebab sia tau apa jenis teguran yg akan dia cakap. Dan sia selalu kasi susah dan kasi pening dia bila sia mengadu tentang satu2 hal – terutama melibatkan perangai2 orang2 tertentu yang buat mcm2 perangai yg cukup memeningkan sia. Dia layan juga sia walaupun dia ada hal2 lain yg lebih penting untuk dia pikir. Walaupun di blog ni, some people think I’m quite strong and very opinionated, but Ulal has seen that fragile side of me. Benda yang remeh2 pasal guys pun sia akan minta pendapat dia. Sia selalu tanya dia soalan2 yang paling bodoh di dunia. Kalau dia teda kesabaran dan kematangan, lama sudah dia pecat sia dari jadi little sister dia. *Lols.

10. And last but not least…about this blog. Page tribute untuk Ulal yang you guys can visit from the link here, is actually a new page. The old page adalah yang original. Much simpler, tapi very raw and straight from the heart. Sia renew itu page dia sebab sia rasa sia sudah meng-anak-tiri-kan big bro sia sendiri sebab page tribute untuk yg lain tu lebih cantik dari page dia. Pecaya atau tidak, tribute page yg dorang dapat di blog sia ni pun pernah jadi competition juga. “Oh, my page is better than Jojon’s kan? Merajuk la your abang that.” Jadi pasal tu la sia buat page baru untuk dia, dan almost everything sia renew, termasuk the text. One thing yang Jojon tidak tau adalah, I KNOW yang dia sangat suka tu page lama dia, dan dia rasa upset bila sia cakap sia sudah padam tu page lama dan tukar baru. Sia dapat rasa perasaan upset dia tu. Tapi actually sia masih ada simpan baitu text dia semua. Dan yang kamu perlu tau, pasal itu new tribute page untuk dia, Jojon pun berkorban juga. Pasal sia komplen pic dia ambil pakai hphone tu kecil, jadi masa tu baru dia beli digicam dia. Sudah dia snap pics cantik2 untuk bagi sia, but sia kasi modified lagi tu pics dia, dan bukan bagi yang full version. Sia sedar di mana kekurangan kerja sia tu, but sia hope dia akan senyum juga bila tengok video dedication yg I made for him dengan lagu Numbalanku. Apa pun, sia dapat rasa yang Jojon tetap suka sama page lama dia yang sia first buat dulu. Since that I don’t give him the choice, sia harap sia boleh make up for EVERYTHING dengan this page yang I made for his birthday ni.

Arrghh…sudah cukup 10 ka? alalaalala… Bulum abis lagi sia mau cakap ni!! Bah sambung! *Lols

11. Speaking of this blog of mine, I know Jojon ni ada pening sikit kalau mau baca English punya post. Tapi sia terharu juga sebab dia still berusaha untuk paham apa yang sia try cakap dalam English posts dlm blog sia ni. Masa line streamyx dia ada problem selama 3 bulan, sia sedar sia asyik tulis English. Cos I know my Jojon won’t be around to read my blog. Sedar nda sedar, the reason why I write some of my posts dalam Sabahan Malay is also because of him. Judging from how frequent dia tulis comment di blog sia ni, dan comment dia banyak yg lucu dan comel2, dia adalah one of my blog’s greatest supporters.:) Yes, walaupun sia tau ada juga my silent readers yang tidak miss check my blog hari2. Mesti u guys pun sangat familiar sudah sama big bro sia ni. Dia la ba big bro sia yg sia selalu sebut dalam blog ni. Dia la juga orang yg sama yang bagi sia tu panggilan Bebeh256 yang kemudian diikut oleh chatters lain. Dan sia pun tidak sedar since when dia selalu panggil sia Kocayangan – which in proper language means Kesayangan. *Lols. Funny2 ba words yang si Ulal pakai ni. Cumil kan guyss… *Lols.

12. Sebenarnya, bukan senang untuk jumpa seorang manusia yang sesuai untuk kita jadikan abang atau adik angkat. Mesti ada kualiti tertentu yg betul2 ngam. Chemistry mesti bagus. Believe it or not, Jojon and I adalah dua manusia yang sangat berbeza. Ada part2 tertentu yg kami memang totally strangers to one another. As a matter of fact, kalau lah ditakdirkan kami ni first terjumpa dulu di dunia nyata, mungkin kami tidak akan jadi kawan pun disebabkan oleh personality kami yg bertentangan ni. Hehehehehe. Satu pengajaran untuk diri sia sendiri. Sebab in real world, sia tidak akan bagi diri sia peluang untuk kenal orang dengan lebih dekat lagi, apa lagi kalau personality yang berbeza. Now sia mau thankful juga with the technology yang connects people. At least we discover satu cara how to connect orang dengan element yang berbeza. As a result, now we manage to forget our differences and found persamaan kami. Now lepas sia tulis panjang lebar semua ni, sia sedar all over again yang It’s not a fluke. Memang dia la yang sia mau untuk jadi big bro sia. Walaupun dia ni supernasty, but dia sangat respect sia dan jaga hati sia. Kadang2 bila nampak dia chat di channel, sia rasa mcm mau tutup mata sia pakai jari sebab sikit pun teda tapis ba. *Lols. Balik2 nokotigog my heart bila meninguk dia chat sama org di channel. Tapi bila chat sama sia, lain betul bahasa dia ba. Rasanya nick ulal tu terlampau humble untuk dia. Kadang2 sia rasa dia ni sepatutnya tahap King Cobra sudah baini. HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (/me pingsan tawa) *Lols.

Happy Birthday My Dear dear dear big brother. Wish yg life kau akan lagi2 bagus lepas ni, dan rezeki bertambah-tambah. Diberkati dengan kasih sayang yg tidak habis2. The same wishes juga untuk sister in law and niece sia, and also mom – semua pun lahir August juga. Ingat tu laling, inda kisah la mana kekurangan kau, but semua responsibility kau buat dengan baik, you’re a good son to your mom, and a good father to your kids, a good supervisor to your workers and a good worker to your bosses and also, a good big bro to me. Mimang sia nda akan terjumpa lagi big bro mcm kau ni. Thanks for everything ahh…and sia mau thanks yg tersangat2 banyak pasal banyak sabar dan tahan hati saja dengan dugaan menjadi big bro sia selama ni and thanks banyak2 pasal sayang me as your litol kocayangan. Jan kau nangis ahh baca ni…nanti me gelitik kau that. Hehehehehe. (/me terus silau mata akibat sinar mata si laling. *Lols)

God Bless You. :)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Old Pictures...

I opened an old cd. This is what I get for keeping as much things as possible. I saw a lot of zip files. Yes, most of them are my pictures from 6-7 years ago. Look what I’ve found out:

I actually had my hair longer than what I ever had this year. I forgot about this! *Lols. It was long and very original because back then, I never actually visited the saloon. My oh my, my hair was very black!! No wonder my friends back in college always told me about how black my hair was – I remember saying, what’s a big deal? Everyone’s hair is black to me. Now I know what they mean. Mine was just as black as can be. Whoaa…do I miss that black hair? Errksss… (Why does it feel so bad to answer, No?) *Lols

Yes, I looked younger and less matured. I remember those pictures I labeled as –good new pictures – when I first took them. But when I look at them once again, they are not that good anyway!! I mean, I have seen my pics much better than those. I don’t think I could ever produce the same pictures again. I think the emotions in the pictures are just raw and immature. Erkss…Pretty rude comment for my own pics. Oh yeah. *Lols

Ok, I want to cut this short. All in all, I actually prefer who I am today, though I was much younger back then. I think I look better than my younger versions and I love my maturity more than anything else. It’s the maturity that gives me this – certain impressions- in my face that I am far ahead of who I was before. Let’s not talk about 7 years ago…Even pictures from 2 years ago is already amateur to me. They are all hilarious!! Hahahaahahahahahahahahahaha.

No wonder. A guyfriend who knows me only in 2 years saw me again weeks ago and he told me that I look so different now (in a good way). I thought he was just playing sweet, but when I found the pictures back, I realize that he’s right. I could not bear to see the pictures from 2 years ago longer because I looked really messy with my hair like that. Hahahaahahahahaahhaahhahahahahaahahah. My goodness!!!

Now I agree even more and more than getting older doesn’t always hurt how we look. Seriously!!! I think that some people look better and better as they age. Because they find themselves better with time. They know better how to present themselves better, and that matured and confident look do come with time.

Come to think about it, Getting older every year doesn’t actually hurt that much :) Just keep a positive mind to it and better things will unfold as we age.

*giggles.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Is It The End Of The Fairytale?

If you guys have watched last nite’s episode of Smallville, maybe you will be clearer about this topic. Last nite, Lana Lang is finally married to Lex Luthor. Although she thought of calling it off in the last minute when she finally found out about Clark Kent’s biggest secret (that he’s a superhuman) and that Clark always loves her from the start, she almost make the biggest u-turn in her life. She even told Clark a few hours before the wedding that she won’t be marrying Lex because she realized that the love that she has for Lex would be enough. (Though she still keeps it from Clark that she already knows about his biggest secret). Yes, it’s no secret that Lana is still very much in love with Clark Kent. Even Lex knows about it too, but he’s still taking the shot because he truly wants to spend the rest of his life with her. (Or is this just a competition against Clark Kent, maybe?) Even after Lana learnt that she’s bearing Lex’s child in her womb (which is also set-up by Lex Luthor just to make sure that Lana has the need to stick with him), Lana is always unsure about her real feeling. In fact, Lana has already confessed that she is still in love with Clark Kent.

But Lex’s father smelled about the u-turn that Lana about to take, he did his son a favour. He threatened Lana that he will kill Clark Kent if she didn’t turn up at the church for the wedding. Though her heart was crushed, she finally carried on with the wedding. Yes, the wedding was solemnized, and Lana is now legally the wife of Lex Luthor. Her heart was crushed because of the decision but then, she realized that Clark’s life is more important than the wedding.

Ahaaa… Here comes the question.

With this kind of wedding…when the bride is still very much in love with the former lover who is also very much in love with the bride…and the fact that the bride is now married to the third person in the triangle…Does this spell the end of the fairytale? Yes, the marriage has taken place, the proper ceremony is carried out, then what?? When the two hearts are very much together – but the body is married to another person. Which matters more, actually?

I shouldn’t be questioning this. Of course the marriage matters more. The sacred vow said in front of God – that matters more. But that’s the idea when 2 persons are tied with love for each other. And for a lot of funny reasons, couples still do it. They find themselves beside each other at the altar, saying the sacred vow of living together for better and for worse, till death to them part – but their heart is with someone else. This is crazy. How can you build a love institution when love is not there to begin with?

Speaking of Clark and Lana’s scenario, the marriage becomes a joke. I mean, yes, she could be married to Lex, but this is definitely NOT THE END of the fairytale. I tell you people, look around you and see the living proofs. They are everywhere. Infidelity is as common as can be. Even for the marriage that looked so perfect at the altar, still infidelity could come later. The third person can always come a bit too late. Let alone when the third person is already in the picture when the marriage happens. So, why the fuss anyway? Marriage is NEVER the end of a love relationship with the person that they love for real. Whoaa… isn’t that terrifying? I mean, this is something forbidden, right?

You people, this is not a freaking joke. Many old time lovers just got reunited after they are married with their respective partner. In the cases that I have come across, by the time they find each other back, they find that their feeling is even stronger than before. It’s understandable if their marriage is shaky. But the strangest part is when their marriage is not even shaky – but the reunion with the old time lover is something they won’t miss for the world. Seriously. Yes, this is wrong. People know this is not right. But they still do it. They just can’t fight their longing desire to experience Love all over again. Now are you still wondering why Secret Affairs are as normal as can be?

I don’t want to write more on this topic. It’s complicated. I just feel that last nite’s episode of Smallville is just a short interval to their (Clark & Lana) love story. Yeah, surprisingly, we are talking about a marriage here. Even marriage is not good enough to end a freaking love fairy tale. Yeah, that’s my point :)

NOTE: Suddenly it reminds me of Cupid’s story. Cupid is a small baby angel and he only starts to grow bigger when the other angel of Lust is born. Love can’t grow without Lust, according to Cupid’s story. But according to most people, Lust can grow alone. *Lols --- Love is overrated again, huh? Maybe it’s just Lust in most cases. Go figure. *winks.

Have You Done Your Body Justice?

I was on my bed and out of nowhere, suddenly I felt so pity to my own body. Suddenly I realized that I did not do justice that my body deserves. And I’m using it everyday to go through my life. Sometimes I tortured my body too much. Speaking of tortures, maybe you too should think about this. Have you done your body justice?

People often speak about drinking a lot of water. Water is important for a lot of good things in the body. I heard about it since I was a kid. But believe it or not, I have NOT done it so well eversince? Yes people. I never actually care about drinking water. I’m a person who drink very little of plain water. I only drink a lot of coffee and other things, but not plain water. It’s actually very awkward that I only come to realize about this, a few days ago. I couldn’t just sleep over this matter. I must do something!!

Our body is our instrument. We should do the best we can so that it’s in the best condition. I’m never really that concerned about my body. I eat what I want, and I wear what I like, if it fits me well – Oh it’s good!, but if it doesn’t – Ok let’s find something else! And if I want to do a work, I work my butt off. And after all that my body has done for me, omigawd, I didn’t actually feed it with enough water??? Omigawd!!

Desires and needs are two different things. Our body have desires, as well as needs. When I’m hungry, I know that my body needs the foods. But when my body doesn’t need foods, my desires could chip in. I saw a lot of foods and I still go and buy them and feed my body – though my body might not want those foods. See that, people? That is also a type of torture to the body. The toxic from all the foods our body doesn’t want, needs to be taken care of none other than the body itself. Not to mention the excessive fats that will transform our body into a tame monster. Erksss. *Lols. I mean, how long should we continue with these tortures? Each of us have only one body, right?

Realizing that I love my body but I have not done justice to it, then I’m starting a NEW diet regime, again. Nope, don’t get me wrong. This is NOT about holding back from foods. It would be ridiculous to lose weight drastically just to see them come back, but twice this time. Nope. This is not even about losing weight anymore. I have too many unfinished business before I even think about losing weight. What I will do is I will feed my body a lot of water. I must finish 1.5 liter of mineral water before I leave my workplace. I’m 2 days on it so far, and I’m feeling good. I will not hold back from foods – but ONLY the foods that my body wants. But I will not torture my body with my stupid appetite of munching over what I don’t remember eating. *Lols. Now my body must be ready for the change because I can’t always put it off until tomorrow what I can do today. The good thing about this Water Diet is I will eat whatever I want. To not listen to what my body wants is also another torture. To hell with losing weight. I don’t even have enough supply of water, for goodness sake!!! Now, I only want to concentrate on drinking a lot of water and everything else is the same. But should this Water diet cut down my food intake, I don’t know. We’ll see. But so far, I still eat my meal as usual. But the month of Ramadhan gives me a good environment to slow down on my binge of –eating-for-fun. So, I’m taking advantage of this. *grinz.

So we’ll see how this Water Diet fares. I hope that my body will be happier with me now that I’m doing this for “it”. Hahahahahahahaaha. My body, you better be nicer to me ahhh….Pikir senang ka mau minum banyak air that… *Lols. Best luck to myself!!!

How The Fasting Month Would Affect Me…

First, I’m a Catholic, so now that the Muslims are in the fasting month, so do you think it doesn’t affect someone like me? Ahaa! You’re wrong.

I remember my Muslim friend laughed at me when I told her that I was always so excited whenever the Ramadhan is coming. I told her, “There are lots of foods!!!” Yes, I’m always excited about foods. I just love foods so much! So, let me guess, you must think that the food bazaar is the thing that affects me?

Not anymore, actually.

This year is different. With the flu outbreak, as now become the worsening national pandemic, I become more cautious about being in crowded areas. I become even more concerned about people spitting, sneezing, coughing – eeeuurgghh…I hate it. And then, the exposed foods – dirt from the dust and air, the dirt from the hands that handle them, and containers where they put the foods, Whoaaa…too many concerns – I hope and pray that those foods won’t cause anything bad in the people who eat them. Cleanliness is definitely the major concern. Maybe because of this, I’m not excited about the bazaar anymore. It doesn’t even tempt me to go and mix the crowd. Unlike the years before, I always buy something everyday, although I remember feeling upset with the foods, but still, I just loved the hype the crowds were making, and be part of it. I think, it’s the scenery where a lot of people come together at one place – It really doesn’t hurt to watch it once in a while. The Fasting season is only once a year, right? So, I think even watching the people going around and buy something – and see a lot of foods being sold at the stalls – Well, I think it brings joy to the sellers as well as the buyers too. That sure matters a lot.

Though cleanliness is always the major concern from all the years before, but this year, I’m forced to look at it more seriously. A lot of people have gone because of a flu virus that come late in our country, but then our country just climbs the statistic faster than we could have predicted. This pandemic is NOT a joke, people. So, more or less this has prevented me to do it the same way I did years before. No more food frenzy, ya all.

Still, it affects me in the other ways though. Some of you know that I’m a Malay foods lover. I have to forget about buying my brunch at my favourite Malay restaurants because they will be closed in the morning. So, I don’t actually give myself an option to go to the Chinese restaurants – because I’m just not used to it. So I have to worry about what to cook, what to eat - and buy all the stuff to cook. Then I have to prepare my meal before I go to work, or the best is, eat before I leave the house. Why? Because I can’t just eat like it’s the normal season. I know that I shouldn’t be bothered to that extent but I think it’s improper to just eat in public, and I won’t want to hide like I’m doing something wrong just because I don’t feel comfortable eating heavy dish with the fasting people around. People who are fasting will understand but it’s better still that I don’t have to bother them about the smell of the foods and the act of eating as if I have no respect for them. Erkss… Okay, that sounds like a bit too much right. Hehehehe. What I mean to say is that, I do this because I think that this is the most comfortable way of doing it – that’s being among the people who are fasting. I think that we can’t avoid things like this. It’s like, when you are tuning on the music too loud, and you hear someone is talking on the phone, of course you would tune down the volume a bit. It’s how you adapt yourself to the surrounding to keep the peaceful and friendly atmosphere.

Whatever it is, I’ve been around the fasting people eversince I was in secondary school, so I have learnt how to cope with this. Although I’m a Catholic, I pretty much understand how much this season means to them. So, Have a blessed Ramadhan month to all the Muslims. I hope each of you get the best from the blessings of this season. :)

Friday, August 21, 2009

Do You Believe In Miracles?

Miracles are something that seem impossible to happen in high possibility – after considering reasons and logics. The chance for a miracle to happen is when almost all reasons and logics are ruled out. I remember when my grandma admitted to the hospital and went to comma a few years ago. The doctor told my mom to prepare for the worst – “She’s going to leave” and that was what my mom told us before we quickly dress up to the hospital. My heart was beating so fast. Emotionless. On the way to the hospital, I was trying to cool myself down that I wanted to find the excuse that “It’s time for my grandma to go and I don’t have a better choice” so that I could accept the fact of losing her. Yes, I could do that. But deep inside my heart, there was a little hope for a miracle. People don’t have to know that I had that hope. Only God should know. So instead of giving up, I prayed. I prayed all the right words – I said to God the reasons why my grandma should be given more time to continue her life. The last one in the list was, “We are not ready to lose her” – which is in fact the top reason. I asked for “more time” to make up for all our mistakes to grandma. Her recovery was considered a miracle at this stage because all the family members were called to prepare for the worst. As a doctor, you won’t just say something like that as a joke unless you have medical indicators that the patient is not giving positive feedback to the treatment. Although that little possibility sounds like a joke from someone who tries to defy the reality – but it’s the last piece of shine that will remain at the corner of your heart. Who knows that little light is the going to shine the entire universe – but first… A Miracle must take place. You know the ending of the story already. Yes, my grandma was back to life. She was showing signs of recovery when half of the crowd was already prepared to lose her. In medical term, it might be quite a shock. But to go beyond what the eyes could see, my theory is that many of the family members were praying and building strong energy and hope for my grandma to fight back and gain her consciousness. And most importantly, my grandma must have been touched by God’s hands after listening to our prayers. She finally got up as normal as can be. We almost forgot the terrifying moment of almost losing her. That time, I decided that I’m not skeptical anymore. That was one of the few incidents when I finally decided that Yes, Miracles Do Happen.

I understand how painful it is to hope when everything else is going against you. Like, when you did something stupid at the interview; something embarrassing enough to lose the job; it’s painful to rely on miracles – when you know your logic spells out that you are just not fit for the job. Still, you refuse to give up until they have the name of the person who gets the job. It’s painful to rely on the little light when the darkness is too strong to make the light visible. The most painful part is when, You are almost sure the miracle is not going to happen. You know you gonna lose a competition because your point is very low. You know you gonna fail a paper because your mark is below 50. But still, because of your knowledge of miracles, you still want to hope that something impossible might turn up. Yes, miracles turn us down many times. Sometimes we feel that it’s easier to just forget about miracles because facts always win. Miracles make us go tired of hoping. I know the feeling, guys.

You know what? I’m still thankful that Miracle is there in human dictionary. Though it gonna let me down many times – but I care more about the fewest times when it’s making a breakthrough. Yes, because miracles don’t bound to happen all the time. It’s the most crucial times when you thought you have lost your hope, it could be the thing that saves the day.

Although I hope that I don’t have to rely on it, but yes, I do believe in Miracles :) I could not refuse to hope when there’s still a chance for it.

Miracle is a light of hope :)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

This Is When The Cupid Gets Really Stupid…

She’s one of my closest friends. I mentioned about her a few times already this in blog alone. She was once a very innocent girl. Never miss her Sunday mass, and Bible session every nite. Sia ni pun dikira jahat sudah berbanding dia masa tu. Selepas habis skolah, kami terpisah kejap. Bila jumpa balik, dia adalah seorang yg jauh berbeza. Bertahun-tahun dia jadi budak baik yg innocent, dia berubah jadi liar kejap saja. Kaki minum, kaki clubbing - sudah jadi part of her nite life.

It’s unfair to her kalau sia cakap dia simply turn macam tu tanpa sebab. Sebenarnya dia ada experience yang betul2 melukakan hati dia. Dia ni dulu jenis yang ramai peminat, tapi dia jenis yang tidak suka cinta2. Tapi akhirnya, dia jatuh cinta juga dengan sorang lelaki yg dia jumpa di church. Di sini la titik perubahan dalam hidup dia. Begini pula jadinya bila sorang tu susah mau bagi hatinya, satu kali dia bagi, dia bagi full blast. Berubah terus gaya dia. Di mana dia pegi, dia mesti bergayut di phone dulu. Memang dia demam habis masa tu.

So hubungan dorang tu berlanjutan sampailah habis sekolah. Since itu lelaki kerja di Semenanjung masa tu, kawan sia sanggup pegi sana dan cari kerja di sana. Dorang menyewa rumah dengan ramai kawan2 Sabahan yg lain, yg rata-ratanya attend church yg sama. Lelaki ni boleh tahan. Computer genius. Dorang happy saja dalam beberapa tahun tu, sampailah dugaan menimpa. Lelaki tu alami masalah di tempat kerja dia, dan dia berhenti. Sejak dari tu, dia tidak mau cari kerja. Dia jadi sangat pemilih kerja. Bila dia baru mau start kerja lain, dia akan quit dalam sekejap masa ja bila ada sikit masalah timbul Jadi masa tu, kawan sia ni sudah dapat kerja sales manager untuk satu rangkaian kedai buku. Lelaki tu pula duduk saja di rumah untuk beberapa bulan. Kawan sia cover2 belanja untuk boyfriend dia ni. Dia tidak berkira sebab dia sayang betul dengan bf dia ni.

Tapi…sepa tahan? Lelaki tu jadi malas dan lebih suka berperap di rumah. Daripada seorang yg kawan sia kagumi, dia jadi seorang yg tiada vision. Hutang kereta start berlambak. So kawan sia juga tolong bayar kereta dia. Dan semua perbelanjaaan dia selama berbulan-bulan, kawan sia yang tanggung. Lelaki tu cakap, dia tidak sanggup susahkan keluarga dia di Sabah dengan minta duit dari dorang. Jadi? Gf dia tu macamana? Belum pun ada ikatan sah, lagi la malu kan? Lelaki tu bawa lagi adik dia tinggal sekali di rumah sewa tu, pun tidak bekerja. Kawan sia yang kena tanggung semua. Masa kawan sia cerita dengan sia, sia pun rasa kepedihan dia. Then bila kawan sia ni kehabisan duit, lelaki tu pandai sudah mendesak, “Alah guna saja ba kredit card kau tu.” Terkejut kawan sia dengar. Dia mula rasa diri dia pergunakan. Setiap malam, dia nangis. Dia mau bernafas pun susah. Sepa sangka cinta yg dulunya begitu manis, akhirnya jadi macam tu. Dia sayang tu lelaki, tapi realitinya tetap menyakitkan. Dia tidak boleh terus diperhambakan macam tu. Seolah-olah dia kerja dengan tiada tujuan. Gaji begitu besar, satu sen pun dia tidak dapat simpan. Dia tahan juga selama beberapa bulan. Kesabaran dia sudah sampai di hujung tanduk. Dia mau buat sesuatu yg Drastik – She wanted to walk away. Tapi masa tu, nda sangka pula dia kena offer naik pangkat. Gaji pun naik juga. Lagilah payah mau buat keputusan. Dia kena berkorban. Sama ada dia mau pangkat tu atau dia mau berhenti daripada diperalatkan. You guys guess apa keputusan dia?

Dia pek semua barang dia. Dia suruh bf dia tu hantar dia pegi airport. Dia tidak cakap sepatah pun perkataan kenapa dia mau dihantar ke aiport. Bf dia pun diam. Mungkin dia boleh teka. Dia keluar ja dari kereta, dia jalan terus, tidak toleh ke belakang langsung. Dia tidak peduli kalau bf dia tu mungkin panggil dia atau cuba kejar dia. Dia masuk boarding dengan melepaskan semua bebanan dan kesengsaraan dia di situ. Apa mau jadi, jadilah! “I’m going back to Sabah!!!”

Satu episod sudah berlalu. Tapi kesan pada diri dia tu berpanjangan. Sepa sangka, kelukaan hati dia tu menyebabkan dia hilang self-respect yang sangat parah. Jadi dia ditemukan dengan sorang lelaki yg jauh berbeza dari first love dia tu. Dia hantam saja dengan lelaki ni, asalkan itu boyf lama dia teda lagi di pikiran dia. Lelaki ni jenis yang sangat social dan berduit. So di sini kawan sia boleh jumpa “jaminan” yang tiada pada bf lama dia. So oleh kerana dia mau lupakan kisah duka, dia hook up sama this guy and it was the guy yang ajar dia jadi “siapa dia sekarang”. Kawan sia jadikan lelaki tu untuk stepping stone supaya dia dapat balik self respect dia, dan dapat balik power dia yang hilang sebab kekecewaan yang teruk. Jadi dia start ubah cara hidup dia. Ini cara yang cukup berkesan supaya dia rasa dia menjadi seseorang yang “baru”. Dia try macam2 benda yang teda dlm kamus hidup dia. All the crazy things. Sampai begitu sekali impact kekecewaan dia.

Masa dia cerita semua tu, sia paham. Impact first love dia tu bukan calang2. Dan mau keluar dari belenggu tu pun bukan senang, sampaikan dia terpaksa jadi orang yg berbeza. Bagi sia, ini pilihan dia. Mungkin ada keputusan yang dia silap sikit, tapi dia manage to get back in track. That’s what matters more, right? Chapter lelaki social tu tidak lama pun. Akhirnya dia break juga dengan lelaki tu. Sama juga dia pegi ke hidup lama dia sebelum ada 2 orang lelaki tu. Seolah-olah 2 lelaki tu singgah saja dan uji dia sama ada dia akan tetap kuat atau tidak Terbukti 2 lelaki ni mengubah dia. Dia sudah buang budak innocent dalam diri dia tu. Dia tidak lagi attend church selalu mcm dulu. Dia “tiada masa” sudah untuk benda2 macam tu.

Memang begini lah hidup. Belum tentu lagi setiap orang yg hadapi situasi yg sama akan buat mcm dia. Ini masing2 punya penilaian, kekuatan pendirian dan mental. Tapi tidak keterlaluan kalau sia simpulkan, actually Cinta yang bawa dia ke masalah itu. Dia ni layak pegi curse itu Cupid. “Stupid ba kau ni Cupid, kenapa la kau pegi strike panah kau ke arah sia dengan org yg macam tu?” Apa pun, kalau sia jadi dia, sia TIDAK akan sanggup leave my family dan travel ke negeri lain hanya kerana mau kejar bf sia. Jadi, sia tidak akan exposed sama masalah yg dia hadapi. Memang result akan berbeza kalau sia berada di tempat dia. Tapi apa pun, perkara ni tiada betul atau salah. Life memang macam ni. Ini life mau tengok macamana kita handle tu cabaran yg datang. Bagi sia, kawan sia tu sudah handle situasi dia dengan cara yg terbaik dia mampu. Bagi sia, selagi dia boleh walking tall, still be in perfectly sane mind and most importantly, ada life yg bagus pada masa sekarang, dia sudah berjaya melalui cubaan itu. Dan most importantly, she has a story to tell :) And it will be very useful is she uses her experience to inspire other people about the better way of going through the same ordeal. Or maybe, how to do it BETTER than she did. Tanpa orang2 yang sudah lalui hal2 perit, mungkin orang lain tidak akan dapat belajar dari pengalaman mereka.

Let’s do this guys, The next time you’re struck by the Cupid…come to think about it, maybe it’s us who decide to NOT make it Stupid.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

And Today's Bribe Is...

Hahaahahahahahaha. Lucu betul. Sia ni nda berapa biasa ba kena passing2 makanan, sebab sia ni pun bukan jenis yang suka mengharap kena spend. Kalau sia mau makan tu benda, sia pegi beli sendiri. Sia pernah bagitau hal ni dulu dalam satu post bertajuk, “A Gift From Under The Table” – It’s about sorang kenalan ni, dia minta tolong benda2 kecil saja ba, like minta tulung simpan kunci. So apa juga kan? Tapi everytime dia limpas my place, mesti kasi tinggal makanan. Sia rasa funny juga sebab walaupun sia sudah tidak tolong dia simpan kunci yang berapa kerat tu, dia tetap juga kasi singgah makanan. Dan selepas dalam 2 bulan dia tidak datang, dia baru call sia dalam 2 hari lepas, tanya pasal something. Sia tidak berapa paham apa dia cakap sebab pelat cina dia tu terlampau pekat. So sia main, iya iya saja. Hahahahahahahahaha. Sia cuma tangkap dia cakap, “Sia tau kau orang baik kan” – something like that la kunu. Hahahahaha. Again, sia rasa dia ni mengeluh pasal someone, but dia tidak mau org tu tau, then dia luahkan dengan sia di phone. Sekejap saja perbualan tu. Then tadi dia datang, sempat lagi kasi singgah sia makanan ni. As usual, sia cakap, “Tidak payah la ba ni.” Then dia insist juga sia ambil. Ui, biar la kerupuk jak, tapi pandai malu juga ba sia ni guys. *Lols. Lately my selera makan turun, which is a good sign. Bukan turun apa, selalu terlupa yang sia belum makan. Then baru sia mau happy dengan perubahan sia ni, then dibagi lagi makanan begini. Macam suruh sia jadi monster jak. Hahahahahahaahahhaaha. Tadi si big bro sia cakap my pipi tambah comel, nahh!!! Montel lai tuu!! Adoiii… *Lols.

Bahh…apa pun, inda juga best ba kan kalau kana spend balik2. Sia ni segan punya orang, apa lagi kalau org tu sia nda biasa. Sebab sia sendiri pun tidak akan belanja orang sesuka hati, sebab sia pun rasa dorang segan oso that. Jadi??? Apa la ni guys? Adakah sia telah dirasuah lagi? Just because itu bini taukeh rasa sia baik, jadi sia kena la terus baik dengan dia ni kan gara2 dia slalu spend sia??? Adoiiiiiiii… Niii yg sia nda berapa2 suka ni ba. Lain kali kalau buli, jangan lagi rasuah sia untuk terus jadi baik ah. Sia mau juga sekali sekala buang muka baaa… (*Lols…hahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha) Just kidding!

Apapun, makasehh banyak2 ahhh. Sia appreciate jasa baik yg slalu spend sia ni. Len kali, cuba la pula spend sia batu permata ka, diamond ka, paling cikai pun emas putih. Orites… (*Lols. /me pingsan tawa)

A Kind of Honeymoon

Orang plan satu wedding bukan main lagi. Siap buat checklist. Mau semua yang the best. Date mesti mau perfect. The band, the food, the cake, the car, the doorgift, the wedding card, photographers – semua benda mesti mau yg bagus punya. Sampai gaduh2 lagi anak beranak pasal perselisihan pendapat. Ini wedding mesti mau the best punya. Once in a lifetime.

During the wedding day, apa yang ada, harungi saja. Usaha sudah dibuat. Duit sudah keluar. The best thing to do is just to enjoy the day. Tapi mengaku atau tidak, pengantin tu punya pikiran tidak seindah baju mereka. Dorang pikir pasal duit, hutang2 yang sudah dibuat gara2 majlis tu, dan macam2 lagi tanggungan yang harus dilangsaikan selepas habis majlis. Satu2nya harapan untuk backup adalah duit hadiah daripada guests yang hadir. Tapi susah juga kalau mengharap sama benda yang belum tentu. Apa lagi kalau guests tu bagi hadiah duit tu semua kepada parents pengantin, dan bukannya kepada pengantin. Kalau ikut kebiasaan, siapa yang diberi hadiah tu, dia yang simpan. So what if anak tu cuma dapat seciput saja, dan parents yg dapat sampai beribu-ribu? Nah…bertambah peninglah si pengantin. Tidak kan la mau minta tu duit gift daripada parents untuk backup hutang2 mau bayar lebihan untuk urusan kawin? Sedangkan, silap2 duit deposit tu pun semua duit parents. Malu la juga si pengantin ni kalau asyik2 minta backup parents. Jadi, malam pertama tu pengantin asyik melayan pening. First nite punya thrill pun tidak wujud. Apa lagi kalau pasangan pengantin tu punya first nite sudah pun dorang lalui berbulan-bulan atau bertahun-tahun yg lalu. Wedding tu seolah-olah saja mau cukup syarat. Kalau tidak mau kawin pun, nanti orang kampung cakap2 pula. Mau menyesal tunang awal2 pun, benda sudah jadi, apa yang dapat dibuat kan? Alaa…kawin ja laa. Yang penting, ini majlis kasi selesai dulu then barulah habis semua ni kesusahan.

Ini adalah satu scenario yang mungkin berlaku pada ramai pasangan pengantin. Bukan semua cerita perkahwinan tu elok saja walaupun orang bayangkan majlis kawin tu adalah satu detik yg bersejarah dan indah belaka. Orang tidak tau pun betapa peningnya kepala otak pengantin tu untuk mengharungi majlis tu. Atau, mungkinkah ada silap2 di mana2? Bukan kita tidak pernah dengar, orang lain yg kawin, orang lain yg sibuk. Ahli keluarga yang ke hulu ke hilir tolong urus. Pengantin tu sendiri pun blank sebab terlampau banyak benda mau pikir. Tidak tau mana satu mau buat. Lain lagi kerja sendiri yang terbengkalai. Lain lagi deadline. Kawin tu kawin juga. Tapi kalau kerja tu diabai, silap2 mencari nahas. Lain la kalau sendiri yang boss. Cerita punya cerita, macam perit pula majlis kawin ni kan?

Silap2, lepas kawin saja, sudah masam muka laki bini. Hutang keliling pinggang. Silap2 video dan cd gambar kawin pun belum tentu dapat claim sebelum habis tahun, sebab banyak lagi benda lain yg perlu dipikir belanjanya, selain daripada mau membayar benda2 yang tidak sebegitu penting dalam masa2 darurat macam tu.

Actually, scenario ni dilalui oleh seorang kenalan sia. Since sia pun terlibat dengan majlis tu, so banyak benda sia tau. Silap yang dibuat orang dorang ni adalah benda kecil saja, tapi akhirnya membawa kepada majlis perkahwinan yang –premature -. Premature means perkahwinan tu sepatutnya belum berlaku kalau mengikut kepada kesediaan dorang dari segi kewangan. Gara2 selalu berkepit ke hulu ke hilir, mesti pun mama bapa perempuan tu bising. Dan si lelaki ni pula tidak mau kalah. Mau juga jaga air muka. Then bila kena suruh tunang, tidak dapat menolak. Mau juga tunjuk staring. Ok auntie uncle, next month kami tunang. Check2 duit simpanan, belum ada pun. Tapi sudah mau tunang. Alahhh, tunang saja ba. Bukan mau pakai belanja besar pun.Walaupun tidak pakai belanja besar, sama juga minta backup parents. “Nanti sia bayar palan2 ba, daddy”. Bukan belanja besar? Tunang saja pun sudah almost RM5k. Ini semua gara2 duit bukan keluar dari poket sendiri. Ini dalam kes bapa mama dia ada duit. Kalau bapa mama teda duit, apa cerita? Mau minta pinjam along?

Straight to the point lah. Actually, memang pun betul wedding tu sepatutnya hari yg indah. Tapi silap langkah yang dibuat hari ni, akan membawa kepada kesusahan di masa depan. Sejak dari mula, masa mau berkepit lagi dengan sumandak, masa tu sudah pikir. Kalau mau bawa anak orang ke hulu ke hilir, jangan lupa yang itu perempuan tu ada ibu bapa. Kau bukan bawa anak patung. So kawal sikit tu nafsu mau berpeleseran kalau rasa2 duit simpanan tu masing kosong. “Whoa, jaat oh si 256 ni cakap macam tu”, you said? Ini adalah realitinya. Benda2 macam tu comes with a responsibility. Bukan saja2 mau have fun. Make sure you guys ada duit ready sebelum kana cuci telinga. Jadi bila kena suruh tunang, ok fine, boleh tunang terus. Jangan pegi kakai2 lagi duit daddy kamurang. Kalau daddy nda cukup duit, buat muka seposen lagi dengan mummy. Tapi sendiri pakai kereta besar (walaupun sudah 2 bulan nda kena bayar), kerja pun bunyinya bukan calang2. Apa guna kalau sekadar hiasan ja? Parents juga kena korek simpanan dorang. Nda kesian kah?

Jadi, bila berlaku satu majlis kawin yang sia ulas di atas tu, now you know why. And you know how difficult and peritnya kalau lah melalui majlis kawin yg ditimbuni masalah. Lepas tu, hadiah kawin pun tidak boleh backup hutang. Kalau sudah mulanya mcm ni, bukan pula cari senang, tapi susah yang dicari!!! Bila pikir2 balik – di mana silapnya benda ni? Actually, a sense of responsibility tu – kalau dari mula ada, confirm banyak benda yg sudah dibuat tu, tidak akan berlaku dan dibuat sedemikian rupa.

Orang sibuk cakap pasal masalah rumahtangga lepas kawin. Tapi macamana pula dengan yg masa kawin pun sudah tunggang langgang? The journey is not even started yet kan? Orang berduit yg kawin macam raja2 pun buli hancur rumahtangga. Masa depan, kita tidak tau, tapi adakah kita sudah buat yg terbaik hari ni bersedia menghadapi masa depan yang cukup mencabar tu? So kalau lepas kawin ja sudah main congak2, “Entah la apa mau jadi esok,” then, does it sound like a good start to enter the real battle?

Honeymoon tu tidak lah sepenting mana. Memang betul. Tapi if semuanya dibuat properly, mungkin lain ceritanya. The last thing in your mind is when your honeymoon dipenuhi dengan bebanan majlis kawin yg tidak tau macamana lagi mau settle. Teda sepa mau jadi mcm tu, tapi masih ramai yg end up begitu. Hairan juga kan? :) Sedih juga tengok pengantin baru yang susah hati, bila tau cerita sebenar, rupanya pasal hutang majlis kawin. Kaum keluarga yg jadi tempat berhutang pun tahan perit saja sebab tidak tau bila hutang akan kena bayar. Sikit pun nda rugi kalau awal2 lagi beringat kan. Jangan jadikan majlis yg bahagia tu racun kepada diri sendiri dan juga kepada org2 yang disayangi. Beringat sebelum kena. So you newly married couple, make sure you guys are good enough to go for a good, joyful and quality real honeymoon after your marriage, and not spending sleepless nite over wedding debts, okay?

"Jack Of All Trades"

It’s a term untuk refer kepada orang yang buat banyak benda pada satu masa yang sama. It’s like, Tukang masak pun dia, tukang kebun pun dia, tukang jual sayur pun dia, tukang putung daging pun dia…pokoknya, semua pun dia buat!!!

Memang best kan? You know orang ni mesti pandai cari duit dan kuat kerja. Confirm punya. Tidak lama, mesti kaya raya kan? Yup, that’s the basic idea. Tapi kalau pikir punya pikir, actually MAMPUkah seorang manusia untuk buat tu?

I get inspired to write about this when an acquaintant dropped by. Dia ni memang seorang yang sangat sibuk. You always see her running around. She’s doing one kind of business when I first met her. And then, I know she was waiting for another big-scale business loan- about public phones. And just recently the business is already going on. And just now, she just told me that she just attended a course to open a taska. I mean, wow…the businesses are all from different fields. Not even related to one another. It’s like a whole new book to open! First, dia ni memang bijak rebut peluang. Second, she stops at nothing. Always looking for more and more opportunities. Third, she’s willing to work harder. Fourth, she is a positive person, that Yes, I can do it!. And here comes the negativity – Can she perform at least to the standard of Good in all the fields she involves in? Yes, now you’re talking. The more things you get your hands on, the less attention you give to each of them. For example a cake. If you eat it alone, you can have the whole cake. If you have 4 persons to divide it for, you only get ¼ of the cake.

Sia start nampak issue ni sebab gara2 kawan sia ni mau jadi the Jack of All Trades, dia punya business yang awal2 tu sudah jadi tidak tentu. Orang yang buat deal dengan dia pun cakap mengeluh dan geleng kepala. Komitment dia macam melepaskan batuk di tangga saja. It’s good that she’s very ambitious, it’s a good thing. The negative people would call a person like her as Greedy. I won’t call her that. But all she needs is good balance. Sia tidak cakap dia tidak mampu, but dia mampu atau tidak, terpulang pada dia. Make sure dia jadikan diri dia tu MAMPU. Kalau tidak, apa yang dia buat tu akan memakan diri dia sendiri juga. Buat satu business tu bukan senang. So kalau jatuh tu senang, mau naik tu susah. Kalau setakat buat business secara “manja2” only, rasanya ada susah sikit. Melainkan ada disiplin yang betul2 kaw2. But biasalah manusia ni, mesti ada social life juga. Mesti ada masa untuk kawan dan family juga. Kalau dia tidak sacrifice any of those, mesti dia punya activity Jack of all trades tu – suam2 kuku saja. Silap2 investment teda balik modal, negative lagi ada. Kan susah? Bukan pula cari senang, tapi cari susah!

Bagi sia, apa2 hal pun, kena ikut rules juga. To have discipline is the main rule. Tidak boleh main redah saja. Sebab ambition kita ni bukan semestinya mendatangkan perkara baik pada kita – we HAVE TO make it work for us. Make it work!! That’s the tagline. Jadi, when someone said about “Being positive” – it’s true, but careful when to use it. If you want to do bad things and “be positive” that you are going to get away with it, then the positivity is going to hunt you back. You have to use all the motivation in the place, at the right time. Nothing is right for everything or everyone. I think I can apply this in my work too. Thinking positive without equally hard work and making use of opportunities – will spell “Vain” in the end. You guys realize the real challenge behind all this? It’s to use the RIGHT approach to your goals, and know how to adapt the approach according to your individual case, and then, make things work for you.

A good idea won’t work if we use the wrong approach. And this is when being too positive could be harmful. We must not ignore reality and yes, reality bites. To play the good game, you must follow the rules. Positivity alone is like trying to live in fantasy that we create, just to find out that we are very much in reality. So again, it’s bad to hear that all the hard work doesn’t pay. So to all the Jack of All Trades out there, I believe you people can do it. If you can pull it off, you can inspire a lot of wannabes out there. Then do it, and do it right :)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

“Tukang Tilik”

I have thought of writing it down for quite some time already. Okay, now, it won’t escape from my fingers anymore! Hehehehe. Just something to share and ponder upon.

You guys remember one of my old friends, the one I mentioned in the post The Toxic Lady. I have not been in contact with her for quite a long time. My bestfriend, in the other hand, is very much still in contact with her, so it’s from her that I get this toxic lady’s updates. (I refer her as the toxic lady here so that you know which)simply because she appeared in the post The Toxic Lady)

The breakthrough news came when she was reported to start going out with married men. And the first guy that she went out with, was a young lecturer who was a maktab perguruan lecturer, where our other friend took her teaching courses. The toxic lady made a mistake by telling the friend that she was going out with her lecturer – that’s when she was brainwashed, "Stay away from my lecturer! He's married with 4 kids!!!" After a little arguments between them, the toxic lady fought back and said, “All the men have secret affairs, and some of them can keep it away from their wives for the rest of their lives.” So I remember we were discussing about that line when we were hanging out together. Hahahahaahaha. (Whoa, wanna open a full post for that line? Hahahaha)

It was just her first affair. Then she kept changing to another and another married men. Then my other friends got really sick with her. “What’s wrong with her? Can she keeps her hands off the married men?” Then I remember, that time, she still has my number. The toxic lady herself got me on the phone. Yeah, she thought I didn’t know about her affair with the lecturer. But I made a mistake by mentioning the name of the guy, and she went, “My gawd, you know his name???” *Lols. 256, no more stupidity like that in the future, ok? Hahahaahahaha. As usual, I didn’t advice her of what to do. I didn’t even tell her what she was doing was not favourable. I just lent my ears and listened. Yes, it was during the phonecall that she actually told me about something behind this “married men episode”. She went for a vacation in Thailand. And she went to meet the fortune teller/clairvoyant to predict her future. The fortune teller said, “You are going to end up with a married man.” So, there you go, guys. When she came back to Sabah, she started hunting for married men, because…the fortune teller said so!!! HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.

Omigawd. You see that, people? If you are the type who believes in something like that, don’t go and consult the fortune tellers. They will turn your life around with their crazy predictions. I believe that the only being that knows about the future is God and even God is not making a verdict yet. He gives us hands and feets and a big brain to do what we want – to do what’s best – and what’s right. I don’t know what got into my friend because she practically tries her best to make the prediction comes true!! And she’s still very much trapped in this prediction, trying to prove that the prediction is true, although she has got herself in such a large mess. The recent one – pls help yourself, refer to the post, “Picking The Best Father To Your Future Kids?” That’s the same person starred in that post. She got herself in a very big mess trying to prove that she ran into the best fortune tellers in Thailand. *Lols. I mean, it took her years now to prove, and still, no sign that she hits it right. She has gone through a lot of troubles because of the prediction. And it’s only getting worse and worse. So, I did the right thing last year when a Tukang Tilik came to my workplace and started to give me predictions. He said I would become lucky in March, so on and so forth. I didn't remember. What I remember was when I shot back at him. My strongest line that –

“People like you can’t decide my life. It’s my two hands that decide my luck. If you predict that my luck will be good in March, can it be good if I just sit there and do nothing? You can say anything you like but it’s still up to me to make it happen.”

Don’t let any Tukang Tilik try to determine your future. I told you that the future is not written yet – it’s what you do today that will determine it. Never get fooled by a freaking prediction about the future. Your future is in your own hands. :) (And the rest, leave it to God :) )

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Rule Is…Never Fall In Love

It’s quite a famous tagline for Casanova, right? Hehehehehehe. I mean, in this field where a social game between a man and a woman – you meet new person, make friends with the one you have chemistry with – and then the good friendship starts to happen – Do you agree with me if I say that it’s actually better to stay that way? It’s better to have a moderate conclusion. Than to reach “a high point” just to lose it in the end, right? What could that high point be? Yeah, when you start to fall in love. Love often screws friendships. I’m sorry. It’s such a bad thing to quote but, think again, I might NOT be far wrong after all.

Everything is acceptable, forgivable, understandable – UNTIL love comes in the picture. I write about these things quite a few times already. I wrote about how friendship is better than love. I wrote about how tiring love can be. The idea is all the same. Love is such a beautiful thing. Oh man, it IS beautiful. But it comes with a large tag price – we thought we could afford, but most of us found out too late that we could not afford it. And then, something went wrong, it all goes back to square one. How hurtful.

I have the experience when friendship turns to love. After I went back to square one, if you ask me which would I prefer? I might go for friendship, although I wasn’t so sure about UNdoing the love chapter. I still wouldn’t want to miss it. It’s too wonderful to let it be taken away. But then, what if it’s the only choice I have in order to keep the friendship I once have with him? I don’t want to answer that.

But I want to make a big highlight how LOVE can mess up friendships. You start to feel deep for the person and it starts to torture you. Suddenly things aren’t that simpler anymore. It’s NOT that acceptable, forgivable and understandable, anymore. Maybe because of the experience that I had before, I build resistant to it. I will play my part but I draw a very visible line, which I should not cross. I know that I’ll be in trouble when my emotions get deeper than what’s within the boundary of friendship.

But, am I playing robotic around here? I think that I’m a little too often labeled as “the female robot” that shows no emotions, and when I do, they are usually the fake ones. *Lols. Like, hey, whatever comes out from 256’s mouth, don’t buy it. She’s just playing around. I think I don’t blame people for that. I think I enjoy it. Some people are in the position to feel that I’m heartless. You guys know what could be the reason to suggest this? The last time I go by what my heart was telling me, I was drown, like pretty badly. I hate it. I told ya guys in a previous post, getting your emotions involve is pretty much leading to losing power. I hate losing power over my own self. I hate to be fragile. And speaking of friendship, yes, when love starts to mess it up, it all starts beautifully at first, but it always ends pretty badly. (Hey, that’s very negative, 256!!) I mean, yeah, it could lead to bigger thing that actually works, but if it doesn’t, it will NEVER be the same again. It’s rather, Love or Nothing. See? Friendship is not there to be picked, anymore.

Imagine this. You are having one kind of a great friendship with a great person. Everything is doing really great. What if one of you is already showing the sign to drift away a little bit from the friendship and gradually about to cross the border, and without the person knowing – it’s already Love? It’s frightening!! I mean, look at what’s at stake, people! Can we stop something like this, now that it’s not too far yet? Can we still mend our ways so that we can stay within the boundary? Is it worth it to lose this friendship? I think you guys have experienced this at least once in your whole life. Your heart starts to feel the strange pain – because now you have demands. You want the person to always be there, and do the things that you like – and when she doesn’t, you get hurt so easily.

I can go on and on, but I’m just trying to make people realize that, if you don’t have a hunch that this thing not gonna work in the long run, Do Not cross the border. Just enjoy the friendship. It’s beautiful enough. It could be only second to Love, that is if it has to be anything else than the first itself. What if one of you starts to show the sign of crossing the border? I don’t know about you, but for me, I will show resistant at some point. Slow it down so that things will tuned back to normal before it’s too late. But…

Read the topic again.

The rule is…Never Fall In Love.

Hitleap

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