Sunday, May 31, 2009

Why My Blog Is That Important To Me?

Hiya's surprising that I can sit here just browse around and "mess" with my page coding to finally come up with a newer template that can leave me satisfied, at least for now.

This is actually the actual type of template that I would love my blog to have. I'm working on a new graphics for my blog so it will be up Very Soon. As you can see, there is a lot of lovely templates out there and I'm tempted to just pick one and save my time but this stubborn pokemon insists to have some personalized theme that I create myself. This stubborness is killing me sometimes. *Sighs.

Anyway, it's 31st of May already and it means it's time to change into a newer theme and say goodbye to my Unduk Ngadau theme for Kaamatan. Suddenly, it comes to me that I'm doing SO MUCH for my blog. I mean, I feel the need to write something everyday (though sometimes I fail to do so), and then I care so much about how my blog would appear to people (though most people come to my blog by accident *giggles) but I think I have the answer ready.

If you ask for my Friendster or Facebook, I don't have them. I'm not kidding. I don't have the time to do all those things because I think that it needs a lot of time to maintain them.

My Blog Is All I Have here :)

That's why my blog is very important to me. Thanks for dropping by ah.

Muahsss all

Friday, May 29, 2009

I said, Loyalty. She said, Trust.

I asked this question during a casual hangouts with my closefriends. I posed this very simple question to them.

“What is the most important thing in a relationship?”

Each of them said something. But I didn’t remember what they said because I think they didn’t get my question right. But one of them, which is the best closefriend of mine, said this.

“It’s Trust.”

Then I said this, “You think it’s Trust? To me it’s Faithfulness.”

Then my friend tried to defend her opinion.

“Without trust, it’s not going to work out.”

Then I answered,”

“True, but without loyalty, there isn’t a relationship to practice the trust for. Before you can talk about other things such as trust, understanding, caring and so on, both of you must first be there in the relationship to make those other things relevant to practice. If let’s say you can Trust so much, but the partner is not “an active player” in the relationship, it doesn’t matter how much trust you are willing to give. Trust doesn’t correct “his infidelity” when infidelity is all you need to end “your loving years” with him. Let’s say, if you don’t have trust for each other, but you guys are loyal, trust me, you guys will work it out if both of you still WANT the relationship. That’s very important to me. If you speak of Trust, you are being unfair to other elements as important trust, like understanding, acceptance, coping - because you need all of that to make a relationship work. But before that, the most essential thing is to have a relevant relationship to work for, and then the other questions will come into the picture.”

Agree or not? But I come up with that answer after spending so much time trying to figure it out. I could have a relationship that is as shaky as can be when my partner doesn’t trust me. But then I can do what I can to tell him that he’s wrong about certain things. I can steal his heart back if he gets hurt by my action. If he gets too jealous, I can always do it my way to tell him that it’s him that I love so much. Bottomline is, he and I want the relationship so badly that we would do whatever to make sure that it lasts. So he and I might do something that hurt each other, but if we are still hanging on to the same thing that, “we both want this relationship to work” so anything else can be taken care of from there. But you can really cut the story short if one of you has no heart for the relationship anymore. Even the smallest thing can be the reason to part ways. So I describe this as “Loyalty” – if you can be loyal to each other, it’s that long that you can have the relationship alive. Trust? Jealousy? Misunderstanding? These are part of the emotional roller coaster that WILL HAPPEN once in a while. I think as much as you don’t want them, they will still occur to you occasionally. But it’s not how much the tests, but how you can manage to survive them right?

I can say this for sure because even how bad the problem that comes to me and my partner, we could still have our relationship despite whatever that is trying to separate us. But it’s when one of us choose to not be loyal (in this sense, not loyal means “stop working for a relationship” for whatever reason there is), we don’t even need an excuse to do it. We can just walk away without any apparent reason. So my conclusion is, of both of us a loyal to each other, we can handle it all.

At least, I believe so :)

Again, it’s more on the hands-on and not just neverending theory on paper right? If you can tackle it using “what’s best in hand”, you don’t need a damn hypothesis because actions speak louder than words :)

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Can Success Be Built On Theories Alone?

I should include this in my last post, but let’s make a new one. If you want to be a good boss, what is your first step? Go to the library and look for the books that titled something like, “10 Steps To Be A Good Boss”. Oh, so let’s say I finish reading the book in one day, can I be a good boss the next day?

“Gotta Be Freaking Kidding Me.”

First of all, I must say that I love reading so much. I have gone through books that give me the instructions of how to be this, how to do that…It’s typical on how they do it. I am not anyway smart, but one day I just realized that I find it all so amusing. I just feel that you can’t teach someone how to be a good boss merely by theories alone. My goodness!!

With this kind of thinking that I wear, imagine how I would react when something like this happens to me. Hear this.

A guy was passing by my workplace and he looked around. He stopped and gave that cynical smile. A sarcastic smile that annoyed the hell out of me. He asked me few questions about my work and I answered. He started to give that “I’m a genius” look and then he started complaining. He said from how I do my work, he could tell that I’m lack in a few things. He said that it seems to him that from the 3 qualities that I should have, I only have 1. He said that from his bare eyes, I could be a lazy and shy person – which is not so good for my line of work. Yes people, you heard me right. He just stood there and he could define my character as if he knew me all my life? Do you guys remember the professional psychic that dropped by my workplace? Aha, and this guy is another thing. It pissed me off when you just come to me and started to define my characters as if you knew me my whole life. Thank you for thinking that I am that stupid. Thank you!!!


Because I felt “challenged” by his words, I stopped doing my work and concentrate on him talking. “What did you say?” You said I’m lazy and shy? He said, according to the theory of “-the hell I care-”, I must have those 3 qualities to succeed. Ahaa, you think I’m just gonna let him smash me? He doesn’t even know my freaking name. I don’t even care to know his name!! So what makes he think he knows so much about how I do my work just because “– I’m the facilitator for marketing courses that motivates people how to succeed in their job- Wuteva!!!”? So, I got his point. Maybe he was finding the way to let me feel that I need to attend the course that he facilitates. STUPID!! (*Lols) You don’t have to come up with irritating remarks to make people come to your course, you idiotz!! I was a bit mad at that time because he was trying to teach me something in the most “impolite” ways. By telling me my weaknesses that he could tell in the glimpse of eyes. Gotta be kidding me!!! Then I replied him. Oh, so according to the theory that you read in some books, I don’t have those 2 qualities and that I won’t succeed?

And what made me got a little bit more mad, he pointed at one of my works and said, “Actually, you don’t need anything like that if you have the qualities.” Whoaaaa…STOP IT!!! NOW IT’S MY TURN TO SPEAK!!!!!!


Then I said, OK…So some freaking theory tells you so, right? I can meet that qualities you want and still be a loser. You understand? Something like this is common sense. No theories or anything that can make you succeed in your work because you can teach anybody in the classroom how to be a good worker, but at the end on the day, it’s the HANDS-ON that produce the result. Not the freaking theories. I’m not fond of those theories. I don’t even care what they say. To me it’s the reality that matters. Who cares about the 3 qualities if I can get my job done according to the purpose? If my customers are satisfied are pleased by the results? Can YOUR theories confirm all that?

So, he kept giving that cynical smile that really pissed me off. Omigawd, did he think I’m that stupid or what? So after that he kept saying some of the marketing knowledge that I already know. I forgot to let him know!!!

“Actually, I took an extra course on Sales & Marketing so I know all those theories already. I scored very well in this course so at least I have the right to speak my opinion that it’s all goes back to “common sense”. Actually, you CAN’T teach anybody how to succeed. It’s for the person to find his own way how to succeed in his own work scenario. This is not something you can learn in the classroom. It only gives you the guidance but the rest is up to you.”

At this point, he actually got a bit embarrassed when the more I talked, the more he knew that I actually know “quite a lot”. You know ka the theory, “Hari2 u kasi itu orang makan ikan masin, dia boring juga kan? Kan bagus u kasi itu orang joran. Dia boleh pegi fishing sendiri and boleh berdikari,” Haaa, this is the “genius line” that the man gave me. I listened to this line back in school la!!!! Why, you think I’m gonna give you a Nobel award for “introducing” me to the smartest line mankind has ever created???

(Hahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Sorry guys. My gawd, I couldn’t help it!!)

Guys, maybe this is strange to you. But I actually believe that no matter what kind of job you are doing now, you can actually come up with your own theory on how to succeed in what you’re doing. YOU CAN SET THE TREND, that’s my point. So if Donald Trump is a successful boss because he’s using let’s say 10 steps, it doesn’t mean I can use his steps and fit into my own and then be a successful boss too. This is so subjective and abstract. Donald Trump is successful using his theory because it fits his surroundings and circumstances, background and many2 other things. We have our own unique life and you can’t simply photocopy someone else’s theory and expect to produce the same result. So not just because some freaking book tells you that, “If you find someone sitting at the chair by the time you reach the person’s workplace, that person must be lazy and shy.”



Why ba u so mad ni, 256? Why ba niii? (*giggles)

Sebab…itu orang tidak tau apa2 pun macamana sia kerja ba. Itu orang tidak tau apa stress sia, apa problem sia, atau apa2 hal berkaitan hidup sia. You jangan simply datang and kasi sia satu hukuman ikut sedap mata dia saja. Kalau kau begitu hebat ahh, kau tidak jalan2 looking around as if you don’t have better things to do, and simply tell people benda2 mcm tu yang UNFAIR untuk orang just terima macam tu saja. Kalau kawan baik sia yang cakap sia ni pemalas, sia terima. Sebab sia tau dia kenal sia dan dia ada reason cakap sia mcm tu. Nda kisah la kalau kau baru balik dari pertapaan di Gunung Tahan, sia peduli apaa. There’s no way you can tell how a person is until you know the person long enough.

YESS~!! Emotional pun emotional laa…sepa suruh, bikin sia geram sana!!!!


Lucu kan guysss… *Lols.

Okay, I’m done mumbling. That’s behind me now. Let’s have fun in the next posts!!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

How Do You Define Intelligence?

Whoaa…I must tell you guys, I’m writing this during my bedtime after watching tv. Why did I pick this topic to write about? I mean, in this critical hour when my eyes can just shut and enter the dreamland. Hahahahaha. Ok…let’s make this fast before my eyes are doing it again.

I do care to write about this. Because I have a CLEAR stand on how to define someone’s intelligence and I’m surprised I have not yet written anything about this yet. What motivates me is when earlier today I had a talk with a lady friend who is still deciding what to do next. She’s still very young, stopped at SPM and stuck as a general clerk in a contractor’s company. Suddenly she got so fired up about taking diploma or anything that can make her at par with others. “Whoaa, why are you so fired up, all of a sudden?”, I actually asked that to make sure if I should start my train-talk again. Hahaha.

I understand that she’s feeling left behind. She suddenly realizes that she is not so good in anything “valuable” for the job market, and not even well equipped as a person who is at least “very good” in something. Her English is pretty bad, and though she loves Maths, but her SPM doesn’t agree so. She barely got credit in all those basic subjects. Not to mention, science subjects. But to sit there and talk about how much she wants to be better, is something very intriguing. I feel that TO HAVE THAT SPIRIT is already a good sign.

Here comes the raunchy part of the conversation.

“You know what? All this certificate thing is just CRAPs. It doesn’t decide who you would end up like. It doesn’t confirm you anything, ACTUALLY. The worst part of this is, you spend all the freaking years just to see yourself as a failure. Your certificate doesn’t even define your freaking purpose as a human being, how usable you are. If you go through all this messy brain-storming of “what’s the best thing to do from here” just to be equal with those have the certificates already, I think you might want to redefine this whole thing before you waste more time. Cos at the end of the day, to waste the years just to BUY IMPRESSIONS from the people, just to make them say, “Oh, she has a degree,” it’s totally not worth it. Shut the f*cking idea about making impressions. Totally totally wrong resource to build your life on. Trust Me.”

Omigawd…did I just give someone a freaking idea how “to get lost from your own life?”


How many times do you hear people complain that the degree holders are only by names? They don’t deliver in the job market. They can be top achievers in CGPA but does that define intelligence? Think again, my dear friends. They don’t know how to communicate. Their basic grammar is already very poor and they can’t express their mind verbally. They don’t even know what they want and what they worth. They I’m sorry to say but eventually you still have the LORD to thank because the things that will shine out the most are the natural talents that you are gifted with. It’s the things that NOBODY can teach you. Please allow me to MEND my phrases. I don’t say that pursuing your education is a bad idea. Hell NO. It’s indeed the way to go IF your path allows you to. I should say this because I know that there are many worthy students out there who don’t get the chance to get a place in public universities. They have to fork their freaking money to afford private college. If you are among the unfortunate ones; you don’t have the opportunities, you don’t have the money…then I would say, the future is still bright for you. My advice is that, you never stop at one thing and call it a quit. Not just because the thousands of people are after one kind of dream, it doesn’t make the dream the RIGHT one for all of them. Maybe not for you. No, no.

So when I talk to someone, I don’t actually care to know about their education level, because I am SO SURE that it has nothing to concern me, anymore than just a casual conversation. Because how the person talks to you, responds to you and the type of ideas that comes from the person’s mind are all I need to define someone’s intelligence. Other than that, you can keep your certificates inside the drawer. One of my female cousins, who spent her whole schooling years at the kampung, and she was not able to read a word after a few years of schooling, that even the kindergarten pupil can teach her how to spell correctly, You see, it’s just so easy to label her as “stupid”. That’s they way people used to label at her. After SPM, she went to town and work, doing all the labour work that she thought is suitable for her – because people make her believe that she is unworthy and stupid. I had not talked with her properly but when I finally did, I was startled by my finding. She is indeed an intelligent person. She reads between the lines. She gets it without me having to spell out everything. She gives very matured ideas that are fruitful. The way she reacts in conflicts, I even envy her! She doesn’t have panic attack and she can think very clearly in difficult times and she even laughed at me once, because she thought I was too hard on myself. Being a year younger, she is actually more matured than I am from the way she handles things. She reads the newspapers and she can even give me the details of court proceedings on the current criminal cases. Looking at her alone can leave me embarrassed! From there, she actually earns my respect.

Many out there are like that. Don’t get cheated by nice clothing and grooming – you think these people must be very smart? I seriously think that what makes a person stands out from the rest is the qualities that are developed indirectly through the years. I believe that Intelligence doesn’t just happen. It’s a by product of experiences and HOW MUCH you are taking lessons from them, and taking what’s good and bring them with you from there. I seriously believe in that. Do you hear something like, “People don’t care how much you know unless you can express them.” So it doesn’t matter how many books you read, but if you can’t express them, it won’t make a difference to the world.

But I must also say this. If I have a diploma certificate now, I WON’T feel sorry for myself. If people come to me and say, “Hey, so this is your work now? You don’t need your diploma to do a job like this. What a waste.” Ahaa…then I have backup lines for this too. The version of myself as SPM leaver and the version of myself as diploma holder – in what way you can say my version of SPM leaver is better? I might not use my diploma for the job that I’m doing now but I’m sure I won’t be doing it this good with the version of myself as the SPM leaver. So tune it how you like, I am now the better version of a human being I am though I might not be using this certificate, but the years I spent on my way to get this certificate certainly taught me many things that you people won’t get to learn if you stop at SPM. I might not use this knowledge of business study I learnt from the lecture, but it’s the process of doing assignments, groupwork, stuggling with deadlines and random group partners, getting brainwashed by lecturers¸ time management and many others – THESE are what make me a better person. You get it, my friends? So, no matter what I say about getting a certificate earlier on, NEVER FEEL SORRY that you already own one. Trust me, you’re a better person because of that.

But in the other hand, your real value is when you can polish your gifted talents. I really believe that our gifted talents are there as part of “our individual purpose” as a human being. Formal education is just a way for us to better ourselves, but we must find the assets within ourselves. Whoaa...I can go on and on but I have to stop now. Time constraint again. *giggles.

I think you guys get it, right. So, don't worry so much about “what you have” that other people can see cos it's merely impressions. It's about YOU and your true potentials that nobody can teach you. I hope you get what I mean.

Good luck everyone! :)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Money Test

Orang sentiasa mengeluh, “Kenapa Duit Saya Tidak Pernah Cukup?”

- The popular belief would say that How can it ever be enough when the money is just too little to be enough?

But my parents think otherwise.

They said,

If you have a wrong spending habit, you will never have enough money. So it doesn’t matter how much money you have, RM500 or RM5000, it makes no difference.

And the theory of my own belief is that…

If the salary of RM500 is not enough for your own spending, RM5000 won’t still be enough for you. I think I find the way to agree to my parents.

So to see if how good a person is in managing his financial, it’s okay to start with a small amount of money to manage. If he can do it well, he certainly can do well with even how big the money is.

It’s proven!!

For me, financial management in a person is very important. Eventhough I am still far away from being good in that too, but I know how essential it is to us. So for someone who is never enough of money despite getting good amount of salary monthly, it’s bad news.

How to know?

There’s a RUNTEST that I have actually tried myself.

When someone comes to you and say he has financial problem, and you are still puzzled about the person’s reliability and other things… you can actually risk SOME MONEY to get the answer to many questions. Lend the person some amount of money. And then, make some professional verbal agreement with him that he could pay it whenever he has the money. And that’s it.

See, how long he takes to pay you back without you reminding him or without you bringing it up to him. Or better yet, make the person forget that you actually remember lending him any money at all.

If he’s one of the suitors who try to make impressions, you only need to risk some money but you will save time in the long run. You don’t have to stay and listen to more craps if he fails in this only Money Test. If he pays you, how long he takes? That is IF he actually pays at all. Some of the results that you can read from this test alone are…

1. Whether or not he is good in financial management

2. Whether or not he is trustworthy

3. Whether or not he is the type who takes advantage of other people

4. Whether or not he is reliable

And many other things, actually. The last time I did that test, the person failed very badly. Maybe he thinks the money does not mean much to me so it’s still the same whether or not he pays. But he’s wrong. Rules are rules. If someone like this opens his mouth trying to advice me on something, I would not listen because he has failed the simplest test that says a lot about a person he is.

Agree or not? :)

Think about it ya.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Don't Ask, "Who Am I To You?"

Do you guys remember the post about “Lelaki Yang Tidak Mau Rugi”? I made Episode 1 and Episode 2 of the post. The post that I’m about to write has something to do with perangai lelaki yang “tidak mau rugi” ni. But at the same time, I also believe, bukan semua lelaki mcm ni. Tapi majoritynya maybe memang mcm ni. So please allow me to speak and to those who think they are not in this category, let’s read this together. See if I’m actually making senses or not.

Maybe ada di kalangan kita yg perempuan ni actually trapped in this situation. We have “something going on” with this guy and then when someone asks you, Hey, who’s your boyfriend now? And then you go, “Errr…err…Ada laa…Nanti la I tell you”. You have that spark of having someone special in your life, but you cannot announce it yet. Reasons? Believe it or not, You don’t actually know the status of the “something going on” thing with him. Omigawd! How can that be?

Trust me people, this is more common than what you think. Like what I always write before. Feelings have no rules. After one meeting, chemistry happens, you guys are in for a bigger thing. As fast as that. And when the attraction happens that fast, all the bitter things come too late. “Oh sorry that I tell you too late. I have a steady girlfriend already”. Or, “Actually, I’m engaged.” Or worse yet, “I’m married with 4 kids.” Omigawd!!! In lucky cases, the girl can simply pull back from getting dragged longer in the fling, but most are that bold – They think they want to stay and fight for it!! They thought they have the right to stay to witness the guy finally decides that she’s the one for him. Wow, that’s a spirit of a fighter that we can look up to, but is it applicable here in this situation?

Okay, let’s not lose the focus. It’s on the MEN, not the WOMEN. Women are usually quite helpless when their feelings and emotions are involved. They are so fragile. They don’t want to get hurt. So when she thought that her heart is with this guy, who at the same time attached to another woman – I bet She Would Stay as long as she still finds herself important to the guy. She thinks that she still has the change to become the right one for him. But the question is, why some GUYS hesitate to make that decision about who the woman is in his life?

No kidding. A few of my friends are in that situation. My gawd! If you think this is rare, think again! The guy hooks up with 2 girls at once, and when the girls finally found out about each other’s existence in the man’s life, yes, they are both hurt. But after everything, both are still clinging to the guy. They both thought they have the right to stay, and it’s the “other one” who has to go. What happens to the guy?


The worse thing is…


Yes, people, HE AVOIDS the topic of making up WHO SHOULD STAY. Now you see how I can relate this to, “Lelaki yang tidak mau rugi”? He Wants Them All. If he can have 10 ladies want him, he would rather keep them asking the question, “Who Am I In His Life?” rather than losing them.

My good mind gives me this reason.

He doesn’t want to make the decision because he doesn’t want to hurt any of them.

Ohh…how thoughtful…

On the other hand, My evil mind gives me this reason.

He doesn’t want to make the decision because if he makes the decision, he only signs a deal that, “I have the license to get intimate with one girl instead of 10”. Omigawd! Why my evil mind seems to sound like it’s making more sense?

I’m sorry guys. But the reason that comes from my good mind is counted out already. Because of what? Let me tell ya. For your information, girls WANT TO KNOW where they stand in your life. If you think they like to be your mistress or “a secret companion”, you’re Soo Wrong!! They sure want you to make that damn decision who do you want to stay. You cannot have it all, you get me? (Please check out my post “Dalam Hidup Ini, Bukan Semua Kita Boleh Dapat.”). How thoughtful can you to begin with, when you can collect a few girls at once? And if you think the girls might get hurt if you make the decision, Ohh…you are already hurting them by the time they find out that they are not the only one in your life. So if you think you are so thoughtful and you don’t want to hurt any of the girls – You are SO LOST within your own game, dude! I bet they would prefer you hurt them ONE MORE TIME just to be sure of where they stand. Oh, I thought you guys were MEN ENOUGH to do something like that??

It’s so pathetic that some guys are just way TOO Greedy. He wants to have fun with all the girls, without letting them know who they are in his life. He wants that he has a place to come to when he needs any of the girls. If girl A is not available, he can go to girl B. He doesn’t care a bit even much the “intimate things” mean to the girls. They want to be special. They want to be the only one for him. Too bad that for the guy, “She’s just another girl.”

In the real case that one of my friends in right now, she actually demands it from the guy everytime. She keeps asking about who she is in his life, because she knows the other girl is also still around. One time she got tired of waiting and she actually made a decision for him, thinking that he might be afraid to hurt one of them. “You can carry on with your girlfriend and from today that our relationship is only brother and sister.”

“No!!! I’m not ready for that! Let’s not talk about this anymore, okay?”, said the guy.

He keeps saying that over and over again. The girl is not stupid. She begins to see herself as “a victim”. He only comes to her when he needs something. He even comes to her when he needs to cuddle and kiss – and that’s all. He only wants to have a place to have fun and play around. If he agrees to brother and sister relationship, he would not get the chance to do all that. He would rather put NO NAME to it and still have the right to do what he wants with her. Tell me if a man can EVER be MORE SELFISH than THIS!!!!

So, he can’t make that decision?

Then my advice is…


You are so welcomed to say this.


Are you anything better than a puppet or a toy? If you are anything better than that, THEN SHOW IT!! Ladies, we cannot make ourselves the victim, ANYMORE!! If you’re worth it, then quit from dating a loser who cannot make a decision on who is the most special in his life. A man like that is unreliable, greedy and a potential “good for nothing sweet talker”. Another minute spent talking about a man like this, I consider my time wasted. So ladies… are you now “digantung tak bertali”? Cut that stupid invisible string with the inner womanly strength in you!! If he cannot make that decision who should stay, then say this…

It’s Me, Or Her?

If another moment of silence from him… say this.

“Fine, I’ll make it easy for you. I’ll walk away. Have your way with her.” Trust me, you have better things to do than just hanging on to someone who divide his heart into two and cannot do anything about it.

The better man is out there, ladies! Go find your way towards him, ok!! Ok set!!

P/S : If only that’s so easy kan, Twofivesix[256]…hehehehehe (Now you’re talking huh…hehehehe :P) <-- That’s me thinking out loud. Hahahaha

A Word Of Wisdom To Share

I hear this from a sharing given by a relative during this one prayer session last week. He said he read this from a book. It’s about a man’s success story. This man was once a poor man with a good faith in God. He only knew how to cook one dish that he thought was delicious enough. He was in a desperate situation. He needed to make some money to survive. He got an idea. He thought about the dish that he could cook. He found the way out of this problem that he would sell his signature dish and make money.

He never stopped praying during his hard time. He never stopped praying for God’s help to help him with his problem. So when he finally found the idea to start his little business, he knew he finally found the way out. He thought it was a prayer answered.

So he was all set and went ahead selling the dish. Yes, the dish was delicious. People would pay for it but the problem was, no one came to buy. He was so devastated because things didn’t seem like turning out to be better for him. He couldn’t stand his frustration. “Why? Why didn’t this work?” The next time he prayed, he couldn’t help but took out his frustration. “God, I’ve been praying day and nite and my terrible situation doesn’t stop me from praying to You. Did you listen to my prayer at all? Look at my situation now. I make all the efforts and nothing seem to work. I’m really stuck with my problem. Why don’t you help me God?”

He was so upset but he never given up his faith though he thought that his prayers were never answered. All he could be thankful about was that he could still survive and stay alive, despite the hardship that he had to go through. He got really tired of thinking and talking about his problems in his prayers. The next time he prayed, he didn’t mention his problems anymore. He was just too tired to talk about them. The good thing was that he could pray at ease the time he decided to stop thinking about his problems while he prayed.

After a while, his business started to grow. People came and buy the dish and not long after, he became a rich man. He didn’t recall anything different that he did to cause the drastic changes. He was still selling the same dish that people initially didn’t want to buy. He then realized, the only different thing he did was “not talking and thinking about his problems when he was in prayers”.

It works for him so he shared his success story in the book, to inspire other people. When you pray, concentrate on your praise and worship. Clear your mind from your worldly cares. Let God take care of them. Pray with all your heart. “You don’t have to tell Him all your problems because He knows them all already”. As a matter of fact, He knows us better than we know ourselves :).

It’s up to you how to apply this in your life. But it’s quite a nice story. Maybe there’s a symbolic meaning behind this. It’s up to you how to look at it. But I agree that sometimes we think too much of our problems. We should clear our mind and not get distracted too much, at least during prayers. May God bless everyone, especially those with kind and generous hearts :).

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Mencintai Tidak Semestinya Memiliki...

I just thought of this thing actually. Maybe this has something to do with the post, “Dalam Hidup Ini, Bukan Semua Kita Boleh Dapat = In this life, we can’t get everything we want.” Just want to share with you guys another thing yang menarik.

Dalam perjalanan hidup kita ni kan, kita actually jumpa macam2 benda dan macam2 orang. Ada yang menarik perhatian kita, dan ada yang betul2 melekat dalam fikiran kita. Memang ini la lumrah manusia. Sebab kita ni dikurniakan perasaanlah, kita boleh menghargai sesuatu.

Kau imagine la kau limpas satu kedai yang sangat cantik dan extravagant yang kau sendiri pun takut mau masuk. Dari luar tu kau nampak satu bunga yang terletak di tengah2 kedai tu. Bunga tu betul2 indah ba. Dengan warna yang keemasan, dan gubahan yang cukup sempurna, ditambah lagi dengan reben2 yang berkilat2. Boleh dikatakan itulah bunga yg paling indah kau pernah nampak seumur hidup kau. Dan kau kagum sama apa yang kau lihat walaupun dari jauh ja. Price tag dia kau nampak terang2. Harga yang sangat mahal yang melebihi kemampuan kau. Untuk seorang yang suka dengan benda2 macam tu, memang kau terpikir, “Alangkah bagusnya kalau sia mampu beli tu bunga.” Tapi, dalam logik pikiran kau, kau tau benda tu mungkin mustahil. Sebab harga dia yang beribu2 tu, memang terlalu mahal untuk dibeli. So kau mungkin terpaksa lupakan saja niat kau untuk memiliki bunga tu, tapi kau berdiri di luar kedai tu lama sikit, untuk terus tengok tu bunga dan menikmati keindahan dia. Or the most you can do, is go inside the shop, and tengok sendiri tu bunga dari dekat, dan pegang dia dan terus mengagumi dia. And then, kau keluar dari kedai tu dengan senyuman dan satu perasaan yang sukar kau gambarkan. Kau pulang rumah, kau bagitau sama family kau pasal ni bunga. Kau cakap la ni bunga la yang the best kau pernah nampak selama ni. Sampaikan orang yang dengar cakap kau pun dapat rasa betapa indahnya bunga tu ba. Tapi apa pun, kenyataannya kau tau yang cuma itu saja yang kau boleh buat. Kau tau kau tidak akan mampu beli tu bunga pun. Or, kalau kau pok mau beli tu bunga pun, kau akan ambil masa berbulan-bulan untuk simpan duit. Suddenly you feel yang memang impossible la untuk kau beli bunga tu. Kau pasrah yang kau tidak mampu memiliki tu bunga. Tapi pada masa yang sama, it doesn’t stop you from admiring the flower. Kau akan ingat yang itu bunga la yang paling indah kau pernah nampak. It’s meant to be yang bunga itu ada di sana untuk dikagumi saja oleh kebanyakan orang. Dan kalau pun satu hari nanti bunga tu akhirnya dibeli oleh seseorang yang ada kemampuan tu, kau akan tetap ingat semua ciri2 indah bunga tu yang ada dalam ingatan kau. Kau akan terus bercakap pasal kekaguman kau sama bunga tu.

Actually, kita semua lalui perkara tu sekali sekala. Mencintai Tidak Semestinya Memiliki. This line can be quite hurting juga kan? Memang sudah jadi adat manusia bila kita mau memiliki apa saja yang kita suka. But macam yang sia cakap dalam post sia yang dulu, Bukan Semua Kita Boleh Dapat. Or maybe kematangan yang akan ajar kita satu hari nanti, bahawa ada benda2 yang kita mau tu, bukan saja kita tidak dapat miliki, tapi sebenarnya benda tu kita suka/mau hanya kerana KITA HANYA MAMPU MENGAGUMInya dari jauh saja. You guys paham? Adakalanya adalah lebih baik kita hanya dapat mengagumi sesuatu tu dari jauh saja sebab you know the feeling is THAT GOOD ba. Belum tentu kau akan masih rasa kekaguman yang macam tu selepas memiliki benda tu. So ini adalah satu point yang kita harus renungkan. Anggap saja la ini satu misteri kehidupan. Ada benda yang mencapai tahap PALING INDAH pada peringkat kita mengaguminya saja, dan anything yg more than that pun akan spoil that best feeling.

Orang sudah lama bercakap pasal benda tu ba kan? Tapi sia tidak pernah actually pikir hal tu masak2 sebelum ni. Sedar nda sedar, sia lama sudah apply benda ni dalam life sia. Tapi mungkin sia nda sedar yang sia overdoing it. Who knows kan? Mungkin sia nda sedar, benda yang sia mau tu sebenarnya sia boleh dapat. Tapi sia sentiasa rasa sia TIDAK MAMPU atau TIDAK LAYAK hanya kerana sia rasa mustahil la ba hidup ni begitu generous sama sia, sampaikan dia buli let me have apa yang sia betul2 mau. Jadi tindakan bodoh yang sia buat, sia lepaskan saja benda tu sedangkan benda tu sendiri pun belum tentu lagi sia tidak boleh dapat. Sia cuma assume yang sia tidak akan dapat benda tu sebab sia tidak mau berharap habis-habisan dan akhirnya kecewa. I’m afraid that I cannot handle the pain. Macam a bit keterlaluan pula cara sia tu kan guys…Kenapa juga manusia ni takut getting hurt sampai mcm tu sekali? Hidup bukan lama ba kan? Biar la ba sekali sekala ambil risiko. Kalau pun sia terluka, kalaupun sia terjatuh, kan sia sentiasa boleh ubat luka sia tu dan buli bangun balik mcm biasa. The pain could pass ba kan? What’s the point of being alive kalau asyik2 mau protect diri sendiri saja from getting hurt ba kan? Why don’t just GO OUT THERE and FIGHT till the very last, just to get what I want. Kalau sia still fail, at least sia puas hati yang sia sudah cuba. But adakah semua orang adalah sekuat itu? Adakah sia sekuat itu?

You guys imagine pula kalau u guys berada di tempat BUNGA itu. Ada orang yang betul2 mengagumi kau, tapi oleh kerana bukan senang untuk memiliki kau, so orang tu pun guna pendekatan “Mencintai Tidak Semestinya Memiliki”, sedangkan kau mau org tu to try the very best so that orang tu boleh miliki kau ba. Tapi hanya kerana dia pun menggunakan pendekatan tu, kau sendiri pun end up in pain juga sebab the person doesn’t try hard enough to get you. Orang tu pasrah ja yang dia tidak boleh memiliki kau dan hanya boleh mengagumi and sayang kau ja dari jauh. Woww…memang la life ini betul2 “something”. Mungkin ini ba yang best betul sama life ni kan guys? Things yang berlaku di depan mata kita ni, kadang2 berlawanan dengan arus manusiawi tu sendiri ba, dan sedar nda sedar, semua orang pun actually terima benda tu sebagai satu “lumrah”.

(Uh-ohh…she’s at it again. *Lols.)

(Suara Hati Kamurang: Uii 256, paning sia apa kau tulis ni. Sasterawan negara ka pula kau ni?)


Kesimpulannya, memang betul adakalahnya “Mencintai Tidak Semestinya Memiliki” sebab hidup ini banyak kekangan dan limitation. Sebab hidup ni ada peraturan, sama ada peraturan yg tertulis atau yang tidak tertulis. Actually, this is one of the things yang sia pikir when sia tulis tu post, “Alangkah bagusnya kalau universe ni tiada rules”. Memang pun patut yang bukan semua yang kita mau dapat tu kita boleh miliki, sebab kalau 10 orang mahukan benda yang sama, logikkah untuk dorang dapat tu benda sedangkan benda tu cuma satu ja? Nahhh, sudah tidak logic kan? So akhirnya sama ada satu org ja dapat, atau teda satu orang pun yg dapat. Kalau tidak, memang porak peranda la dunia ni.

Bah, pikir2 la apa yang patut k. Hehehe.


More To Come!!!

The Childhood Memories: "Read Between The Lines!!"

Sia ingat, masa kecil2 ni kan, my mom slalu kasi jahit kamirang pajamas ba untuk pakai titun. Nda buli la ba kalau pakai baju besa2 ja. Tapi tu masa kecil la. So masa tu, sia ingat lagi. Kalau sia rasa terlampau panas, sia main buka ja tu baju, and tinggal seluar ja. Budak2 lagi sudah mengganas o kan. *Lols. I think, belum start school lagi punya umur tu. Tapi sia ingat juga perkara ni. So malam demi malam, sia rasa kepanasan, sia buka ja tu baju. I think my sister pun gitu juga kali tu. Sebab kan kami titun sebelah menyebelah, so mimang ada masa maybe terlampau panas dan nda selesa. So ada satu kali tu, masa siang2 kan, mom sia membebel la ba ni. Dia marah sebab kamirang pandai2 pigi buka baju. Maybe pasal takut kana gigit nyamuk ka apa ba tu. Kan masih kici lagi. Kalau sudah besar tu sia paham juga la kenapa dia marah buka baju. Hahahaahahahaha. Dia bebel punya bebel, sia satu pun nda ingat apa dia cakap. Sia cuma ingat penghujung dia ja, dia cakap…”Bah, kamu buka la lagi tu baju kamu ah masa tidur. Bagus la tu gaya kamu tu,” bilang mama sia. Terus si kici nda sedar diri ni terus pigi cakap sama my sister “Nahhh! Tu si mama cakap buli buka baju tuu. Sia pun mau buka baju juga niii.” Sia cakap dengan penuh keyakinan ni ba. Hahahahahahaahahahhahahaha. Sia betul2 confident yg dapat green light sudah dari mom sia yang dia nda akan marah sudah ba kamirang buka baju kalau kepanasan masa titun.

Tiba2, nda sempat2 ba gumbira, trus dia cakap, “Oooohhh…pikir sia cakap betul2 ka tu. Cuba la kamu buka tu baju kamu lagi malam2. Siapa antara kamu yang buka baju jaga kamu ah.” Something like that laaa. But geli pula hati sia bila ingat tu masa. Walaupun masa tu sia budak dan tidak tau menilai kelucuan perkara tu, but nasib sia ingat “cara sia melihat dan menilai” sesuatu tu dari mata seorang budak kecil yg betul2 innocent. Tapi bila sia sudah besar baru sia sedar kelucuan cara mama sia “menyindir” tu ba…dia harap kamirang “read between the lines” tapi budak lagi giaa…So mimang jelas terbukti yang budak2 punya pikiran ni sangat lurus dan tiada simpang siur. Kalau dia dengar mcm tu, dia punya pengertian jalan terus ja tu. Itu yang bestnya masa jadi budak, kan? Tapi apa pun, walaupun kita bukan lagi mcm tu semakin meningkat usia, tapi at least kita PERNAH jadi macam tu dulu. Thank God we were once a kid. Hehehehehe.

Uiks…tiba2 sia teringat ni peristiwa yang baru juga a few weeks ago la. I talked to this “favourite guyfriend” of mine – he’s actually my favourite in one way la. He knows it too. Jadi sia punya jenis orang ni, sia mimang akan show you yang you are my favourite sebab I give you special attention. I think semua orang pun mcm tu ba kan? Okay, back to the guy. So satu hari tu, I was talking with my bro ba ni, and then suddenly this guy came a bit latter. So sia terus told my big bro yang this guy has arrived and sia akan kena bahagi2 masa untuk talk to each of them back and forth. So my big bro yang sangat understanding ni cakap la, “Bah, pigi la kau cakap sama tu urg dulu. If kau nda bz baru kau cakap sama sia”. So when I told the other guy yang I had to delay talking to my bro sebab dia ada. So dia cakap la mcm ni dengan sia, untuk menunjukkan peri-kemanusiaan dia tu. *Lols.

“You shouldn’t do that. He’s your bro and I’m just your friend. You patut kasi lebih dia dari sia. Lain kali jangan bagitau dia mcm tu, nanti dia kecil hati.”

Nokotigog my heart ba bila dengar dia cakap mcm tu. NDA PERNAH2!!! Hahahaahahahahahahahhaha. Before this kan, manada dia peduli tu. Kalau buli, dia lagi bersorak-sorai tu kalau sia cuma cakap dengan dia sorang ja. So syukur laa kalau dia sudah berubah jadi baik. (Hahahahahahahahahahahahhaha). Lagipun mimang patut sia kasi dulu my bro ba kan. Hehehe

So sia cakap gini la… “Ya kan, betul juga kau cakap. If that is what you wish la. I talk to my bro dulu, and if me got time baru me cakap dengan kau la.”

Trus dia cakap,

“Puii…JAHAT PULA!!!!”

Then I rasa sudah aura2 mau pecah ketawa. Then I asked…

“Aiks? Bukan permintaan ikhlas kau ka tadi tu? Hehehehehehehehehe”

“Sia testing2 ja ba tu. Sia harap kau cakap la yang “Tidak, sia tetap mau cakap sama kau juga walaupun ada my bro. Rupanya tidak. Terus2 kunu kau setuju ba. Jahat punya orang.”

Terus dekat gila sia ketawa ba. Punya lah lucuuuu. Patutlah baik semacam jaaa…rupa-rupanya ada udang si sebalik mi guring!! Hahahahahahahahahhaa.

Apa kesimpulannya? I might be much older than the kid in the first story, tapi ada masa yang I refuse to read between the lines. Maybe sebab sudah terlampau banyak kali kita ni buat ASSUMPTION terhadap orang lain atau perkara2 di depan mata kita. Terlalu banyak benda yang kita buat tafsiran sendiri sedangkan benda tu mungkin satu tekaan dan anggapan saja. Actually, sometimes we are TOO TIRED untuk buat tafsiran. In my case, YES. So when it has something to do with kepentingan diri kau yang ada kaitan dengan sia, better u cakap terus terang saja. Jangan terlampau berlapik sebab ada masanya sia TIDAK mau read between the lines dalam hal2 yang melibatkan hati dan perasaan ni ba. I guess I have stopped reading between the lines longer that I thought. So “paham2 sajalah” punya term tu sia mimang TIDAK PAKAI punya.

Ohhh…rupa-rupanya, budak kici itu masihhh ada dalam diri sia kan guys.

Hahahahahahahahahhahaha. I don’t care. I like that little kid inside me.

More to come!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Childhood Memories: "The Drowning Lesson"

This is one of the memories that I keep close to heart. Doesn’t matter who you are, whether you come to my blog because I’m your online friend, or someone told you, “That blog is quite good” and you’re trying to find the reason how on earth this blog could be good, or maybe you’re one of those curious people who want to know more about me – Guess what? I appreciate all of you. Sharing my personal story like this is my way of showing my appreciation.

This story happened when I was still too young. It could be 9 years below. Being the daddy’s girl, I loved to follow my dad wherever he goes. That’s why I was once my Moing’s favourite grandchild. My dear friends, I could be much older now, but there are some of my childish attitudes still in me. I still wear those childish attitudes once in a while. Would I favour to diminish my childishness entirely? Okay, let’s discuss about that later. *giggles.

There was this river, 5 minutes walking from my Moing’s home. That sungai memang jadi kegemaran orang kampung pegi mandi. Masa tu, kami yang budak2 ni akan rasa benda tu satu reward kalau kami kena bawa pegi sungai tu. I went to the river quite a few times already. Tapi selalu pigi main di tepi2 ja sebab nda pandai berenang kan. So satu hari tu, my dad bawa sia balik kampung lagi and tinggal rumah Moing sia. So, as usual, my dad mimang akan kasi tinggal sia main dengan 2 orang cousin perempuan sia yang dua2 pun lebih tua dari sia, but tidak jauh beza la. Sama2 masih budak. So sekali tu, ada sorang auntie sia ni, bawa kami pegi sungai tu. Dia mau pigi cuci kain. So sia ingat tu sia ada bawa baldi sama gayung, abis mimang sia pok mau mandi2 di siring ja ba tu. Hehehehehe. So sia ingat tu, auntie sia duduk di satu batang kayu tu cuci kain di siring2 tu ja, and 2 orang cousins sia tu pegi berenang ba. Sia tinguk ja di tepi. Tambirang ba my cousins tu masa.

Oh, before that. I must explain. Antara dua orang cousin tu (dua beradik perempuan), yang tua yang bagus sama sia. Yang kedua tu, slalu gaduh sama sia. Dia jaattttttttttttt betul. Dia slalu kasi nangis sia. Dia sendiri pun suka nangis dan menyusahkan urg. (Hahahahaahahahahahahahahha. Aiks, sia pakai my pikiran budak2 tu masa ahh…jan korang salah paham sana. *Lols) Tapi ada masa, kamirang baik juga. Tau la budak2 kan. So masa tu, kiranya kamirang sedang berbaik la ba tu. Masa dorang sibuk2 berenang sana tu, tu cousin sia ke-2 tu cakap la sama sia, “Kau nda mau cuba ka? Nda dalam ba ni…Siok ooo.” Trus si kici satu ikur ni pun curious la kunu. “Siok kaa? Tapi dalam ba tu, sia mana pandai berenang.” Trus dia cakap, “Nda dalam baa. Mari la sia bawa kau.” Then sia totally curious ba that. So sia masuk la dalam air tu. Then dia bawa sia…yg masih dekat2 tu, she could still get hold of me la. Tapi, dia makin pula pegi tempat yang dalam. I mean, it was getting farther from the riverside ba. Cousin sia ni pun, saja2 mau kasi rasa sia tu air dalam, but dia sendiri pun teda tu energy untuk jaga sia ba. So badan sia sudah masuk tu air, like the whole body. Tiba2 I got panicked because I felt like I wasn’t holding on to her anymore ba. Maybe she got panicked too ba tu, trus she kasi biar ja me sana and she swam back to the riverside ba. Yes guys, my cousin actually did that!!! Masa tu sia betul2 left alone di air yang dalam, and I was just a little kid who didn’t know how to swim. What I could do was just trying to grasp for air, doing what I could la. Apa yang sia ingat kan, sia tenggelam timbul beberapa kali. Sia tertelan-telan sudah tu air sungai. Sia sempat nampak auntie sia meninguk pi tempat sia dengan muka yang terkejut. I still remember that view ba. Walaupun sia masih budak, I know that I “was losing my life”. Sia betul2 pikir sia akan end up drown ba. Tiba2 a stronger arms grabbed me. It was the older cousin. So dia yang bawa sia balik pi tebing. She had no idea that she saved my life ba tu ari. I think that nobody actually know how much this memory means to me. I could have lost my life that day ba. You guys imagine la, kalau something happened to me hari tu, there’s no Twofivesix[256] ni hari.

So bila sia sampai di tebing tu kan, sia BETUL2 MARAH dengan cousin sia sorang tu. Sudah la sia nda suka dia, dia buat lagi mcm tu ba. Tapi sia rasa nobody actually took the incident seriously. Dorang pikir kejadian sia tenggelam timbul tu perkara yang tidak serius mana sebab my cousin tu kira cepat juga buat something. But bagi sia, sampai sekarang sia tau tu kejadian bukan main2 punya. It was a moment of feeling so helpless and left alone ba. And the BETRAYAL yang paling bikin sakit hati sia tu masa.

So, sia pi tebing tu ja kan, sia marah cousin sia tu. But since perangai dia bikin panas, so dia buli lagi ketawa2 sana. Si KICI betul2 marah ba tu masa!!! (*Lols. Si Kici = Me la ba thattt :P Hahahahahahha). So sia betul2 simpan dendam ba sama cousin sia tu. Sia rasa dia jaattttttttttttt betul buat mcm tu. Sia marah2 sama dia, “Tinguk laaaa…sia kasitau bapa sia kau kasi lemas sia. Sia suruh dia pukul kau. Jaga laa.” Yaaa…gitu la tu sia cakap. Mungkin ayat lain sikit, tapi sia mimang suka report punya orang. Sia selalu cakap, “Sia kasitau bapa sia suruh pukul kau” Hahahahahahahaha.

So, kamirang balik sudah dari sungai tu kan, sia capat2 pi tampat dad sia. Berabis si kici ni becakap ba. “Pa, tadi kan kami pi sungai. Si anu bawa sia masuk tu sungai, trus sia kasi tinggal sia. Dekat sudah sia lemas baa! Pi pukul dia. Dia kasi lemas sia tadi tuuuuuuu,” sia cakap dengan penuh bersungguh-sungguh ba. (*Lols) Trus bapa sia ni, anggap tu benda lucu2 ja ba. “Bahhh, sudah la tu. Jangan la kamu gaduh2. Dia main2 ja ba tu,” dia cakap mcm tu. Sudah sia cakap dengan u guys ba, teda org akan paham macamana seriusnya kejadian tu. My dad pikir tu benda budak2 punya hal ba tu. Abis dia tinguk sia sama juga bergerak mcm besa, sama juga si kici yang byk cakap. *Lols.

So, sia sakit hati betul sebab teda orang balas ba cousin sia punya perbuatan tu. Sia betul2 simpan dendam ba guys. So, beberapa hari selepas tu kan, sia dan beberapa budak2 lain pegi jalan pigi rumah saudara bapa sia ni, kira another auntie la juga tu. Di kampung juga. Rumah dia tu tiang dia tinggi dari rumah biasa ba. Tangga dia pun tinggi untuk kamirang yg budak2 tu masa. So masa di rumah dia tu, sibuk la orang2 besar bercerita. Sia ni pula, nampak ja ok tapi sia masih sakit hati sama cousin sia tu. So masa kami semua berdiri dekat2 tangga tu, kamurang tau apa sia buat??? Sia pi tulak tu cousin sia ba jatuh pi bawah tangga tu bah!!! Hahahahaahahahahahahahhahaha. ADOII…betullll sia tulak diaaaa. Sia BETUL2 marah sama perbuatan dia tu hari. Lagipun dia tidak tunjukkan sikit pun rasa bersalah ba selepas kejadian tu. Dia ketawa2 lagi dan tambah2 lagi ejek2 sia. So sia rasa mimang patut la sia tulak dia dari tu tangga. (*Lols) So dia nangis laaa. Tu auntie sia tu cakap, “Alalalaaa kenapa kau tulak dia?” Trus sia cakap, “Sebab dia jaat dia kasi lemas sia tu hari.” Tapi nda juga sia kana pukul atau kana cubit sebab teda bapa sia sana. Dorang pun nda juga berani cubit sia tu sebab sia kuat nangis punya budak kan. Kuat report lagi that. Mimang kes naya la kalau sia kana cubit ka atau kana marah. Hahahahahahahahahha. Tapi sia akun juga la, lepas sia tulak cousin sia tu dan dengar suara dia nangis, sia pandai rasa juga menyesal tulak dia. Sia kesian juga, tapi sia punya marah sudah memuncak ba tu masa. So sia rasa kalau sia nda buat sesuatu, sia akan terus marah. Asal dia nangis tu pun ertinya terbalas la sudah sia punya dendam tu. Yaaa…sia tau kamurang tinguk sia mcm tu penjenayah ni kan sekarang ni…hehehehehe. Jan baaaaaa. Kan sia budak2 ja tu masa tuuu. Iaitu merangkap Si Kici. *Lols. Kamurang maafkan ja la budak kici yang sedang marah tu ya. (*Lols). Tapi ok juga cousin sia ba, teda juga sampai dia luka ka apa. Tapi mimang nda patut ba sia tulak dia tu. Hehehehe. Ya la ya laa…you guys manang la that… :P

Maybe ini satu kejadian yang mencuit hati ja sekarang ni, tiada lagi marah atau dendam. Sia senyum ja ingat tu hal. Apa lagi bila sia tinguk tu cousin sia yang musuh ketat sia tu dulu. She has become seorang yang SANGAT2 berbeza sudah. Dia seorang yang sangat cemerlang dalam studies dia. Dan selama mana sia nda terjumpa Moing sia tu, selama tu juga la sia nda balik kampung dan jumpa dengan cousin2 sia yang tinggal di kampung. Lepas kamirang jumpa balik, lain sudah perangai kami, sebab besar sudah kan. Dan selepas beberapa tahun tu, cousin sia tu la yang banyak tolong sia. I mean it. Walaupun dia tolong sia tu bukan for the sake of helping me, but dia sendiri pun nda sedar pertolongan dia tu betul2 besar untuk sia. Sia langsung nda pecaya, dia la orang yang sama yang pernah dekat buat sia lemas di sungai, dan orang yang sia tulak jatuh tangga sebab sia mau balas dendam. Sia lupa tanya dia sama ada dia ingat, tapi sia harap dia nda ingat. Sia nda mau dia ingat yang sia pernah jaat sama dia, dan sia nda mau dia ingat yang dia pernah buat sia dekat lemas, sebab tu benda sudah lepas. Yang penting sia masih lagi alive and kicking ba sekarang ni kan. Hehehehehehe. Yang lagi penting, tu cousin sia tu becomes my favourite cousin, even more than her sister lagi. Dan dia paham tu perangai sia yang cerewet so she knows how to deal with me.

Apa pun, sia syukur yang I have a few childhood memories yang sia masih bawa sampai sekarang. Dapat juga sia ingat balik “What a kid I was before” sebab walau macamana kebudak-budakkan pun gaya sia tu masa, sia rasa ada masanya yang sia masih “si kici” itu ba. Sia masih take BETRAYAL very seriously. Yes, and sia ni jenis orang yang “suka simpan” cuma sia tidak akan balas orang the way I did to my cousin dulu la. *giggles. Sekarang ni, Ignorance Is Bliss ba orang cakap. Sia punya style, sia tidak akan peduli tu orang saja. So kalau it brings joy to the person, that’s a reason to be grateful. But if my ignorance bring suffering dalam orang yang terlibat, maybe that’s the best revenge from me la. Apa pun, kalau benda ni dianggap kekurangan, I’m sure ada perkara2 dalam diri sia yang balance tu benda ba kan. :)

Jadii apa macam ni guys? Sia si kici yang jaat ka thattt? *giggles. It’s cute ba juga kan. Hehehehehehehehe. Bah, yang baik dijadikan tauladan, yang jaat dijadikan sempadan.

Muahss all. More to come maybe? Erks…promise tu yang paling jaat la me that. No more Si Kici yang penjaat that in the next post pasal childhood memories. Hahahahahahaha.

See ya guys next post ya :)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

When It's About - Who You Know...

People always say that in order to move forward much faster and easier, it’s about WHO KNOW YOU. Or in other words, it’s having someone inside the organization to help you to secure something that benefits you. In business or even in any other matters in our lives, it’s applicable. I don’t actually BUY IT. I still believe that luck will give way to you when you’re qualified enough. I always believe in something like that.

But actually, “It’s about who you know” has been proven. First, I must inform that I have this principle to not mix business with personal, because I won’t use my friends as a stepping stone to get something. I used to think that it’s immoral and it’s unethical. But I seriously think that if you’re doing something because you’re sincere about it, it doesn’t mean that you should refuse anything good that comes from your own act of goodness. Okay! Maybe not exactly “act of goodness”. It’s just doing things the way you would do it naturally. I remember that I know this guy back then. I had a good friendship with him. It’s just for the sake of making friends, nothing else. I never actually asked him in details about his work and others. As far as I could recall, this guy appreciates my friendship. Maybe because I was doing my part to get in touch with him too, he felt so grateful.

He didn’t know that I have a sister because it was always about us sharing things about my studies and others. So a few years later, when our friendship was slowing down, who would have guessed that my sister actually came to the place where this guy works. So when my sister submitted a form that has her details, and this guy took a glimpse of it and he saw my sister’s last name rhymes the same as mine, and the place of birth that he saw was the same as mine, he ran after my sister who just left the office. “Wait, wait. Is Twofivesix[256] your sister?” “Yes, she’s my sister.” And because of that, my sister got what she wanted. Just like that. Other people would have gone through difficulties and still won’t get it. But because of an old treasured friendship, it goes a long way. I was ashamed because a friend was using his position to help my sister. I did not ask for it. I would never ask for something like that. I remember feeling so ashamed when he called me up and said, “Can you believe that I actually bump into your sister by chance?” And he even told me some “internal affairs” that has something to do with my sister’s intention going there. I didn’t discuss the matters further about him because I wanted him to know that helping my sister was totally at his own will and it has nothing to do with my friendship with him. But this is one example of, “It’s about who you know.”

So back to the present time. Just now, I got another phonecall from another friend. My blog readers should know this guy by now. He’s the one in the Long Lost Friend and The Reluctant Friend posts. Though I decided that being friends with him like the old time was not an a favourable option for me, but I still have professional relationship with him. So as long as we keep it professional, I won’t mind. But the days when he could dig into my personal life are now over. I am currently having somekind of difficulty that concerns his duty. So because he’s now among the top guys (which was not in the picture when I first met him years back), he can make some important decisions. Again, my approach is still the same. Eventhough he’s in the position that I could ask help from, I never bring it up. If I’m facing problem, I’m going to handle it and I don’t expect to get immunity just because I know “somebody” from the organisation. But it’s different with him. He’s using his access as my personal friend to bring up matters concerning work and use his professional position to bring up matters concerning personal life. So it’s already a different game. But he gets my tune so he doesn’t force it on me. But just now, he’s giving me a solution for my situation that is not applicable for anybody else. He asks me to do something formal to make it legal so that I won’t have much to lose from this temporary difficulty I’m having now. Then I went, “Oh, that’s a smart thing to do. Are you sure I can do something like that?” He said, “Yes, you make the letter and address it TO ME and I’ll do the rest for you.” The solution is legal but yet unfair. Just because we know each other, then I get the advantage. But I really excuse myself this time from feeling like I’m using a friend for my own benefit because judging from this situation, I think that it’s not against the law. So I will definitely give it a go. After the phone conversation, I finally realize all over again that, Yes, It’s About Who You Know.

But one thing for sure, I think that if you’re really able and qualified to get something, you will get it. I have proven it also, my friends. My application approved all by my own efforts. Not even a mentor. I think that LUCK plays a role in this too. But to make it easier, let’s no rely on something like that too often. You do the effort first and if someone is in the position to help you out, maybe it’s easier for the person to do so if you have the qualification. That’s the trick. In fact, it’s very rewarding if you can achieve something without someone else’s help. Prove to them that you’re much better than just sitting there and hope for someone to make things happen for you.

We make things happen with our own hands, how about that? Dare to take the challenge? :)

NOTE: I’m very sorry my dear friends. I’m getting so much busier as of late and will be that way for the next month too. I do hope to spare some time to go online. Please bear with me ya. (and in case you ask, Yes, I miss you guys too. *Lols) Muahsss all.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A Sleepiness To Remember

(This was written on Monday. I forgot to post it. hehehe :P)

Omigawd! Yesterday was disastrous for me. It was a day when I experienced the sleepiness to remember Actually, my body is experiencing this changes and craving since a few days ago – yeah, blame it on the hormones again, huh? Hehehehe. And because I was so lazy to even stopped by and ordered my coffee - thinking that I would like to make the hot cup for myself when I arrived at my workplace…but it didn’t happen. I was too lazy to even boil some water to make coffee and at the same time, I was delaying my “coffee-time” because I needed to rush a few things first. My mind was overworking too. I thought of going to shop for new clothes among others, at the same time, I was dead worried that I could not spare time to window-shop before I make any decision of what’s the best to buy. I kept looking at the clock – but as it came nearer to the perfect time to go, my body was feeling so weak. I felt like sleeping! “Ohh! It was my coffee. I haven’t taken my coffee, that’s why!” But I could not overcome my laziness, I just sms the staff of a nearby restaurant “Send me a glass of Nescafe ice like yesterday,” but the sms got a failure report. Alamakk…maybe it was closed on Sunday. I had no choice!! I was so sleepy that I slept right on my table. “My goodness I’m so sleepppyyyyyy…”So I shut the door and locked myself inside. I wanted to sleep big-time! I laid myself on the carpet as long as I could feel comfortable lying down. Hahahahaahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahaha. But it was only a few minutes before I got up and thought out loud– “Hey 256, it was the floor you were lying on!!!” *Lols. It was such sleepiness in desperation. I felt very funny with myself but I could not get over that overwhelming sleepiness and at the same time, I could not bring myself to make the coffee that could make a difference. Heheheehehe. I sat back on the chair and started eating anything on the table. A generous friend dropped over and left a bottle of carbonated drink and a chocolate snack earlier that time – and this pokemon monster said, “I want to eat more!! I want to eat KFC after this!!” (Hahahaahahahahahahaahahahahha). It was a sleepy pokemon monster who at the same time, a food cannibal – Goodbye weight lost! (Hahahahaahahahahahaha)

Moral Of The Story – I dare not go a day without coffee :( or I'll end up sleeping on the floor.

NOTE: I have more interesting post to come. I need to settle a few works first. *winks

Sunday, May 17, 2009

3 Types Of unTRUE Love…

I love you BECAUSE you are so beautiful.

Type 2: IF
I’ll love you IF you sleep with me.

Type 3: HAVE TO
I HAVE TO love him because he’s the one that I’m married to.

This is what I get from the church’s sermon yesterday. It’s a very interesting way to explain unTRUE Love in a simpler form. Untrue Love is also called CONDITIONAL LOVE – Iaitu cinta yang bersyarat. Kalau syarat tu sudah tidak dipenuhi, cinta tu akan hilang sekelip mata. (To me, they should find a different word to replace “Love” with that characteristic). 

I have been writing about Conditional Love every now and then, but how sad, this world is full of those 3 types of love. It’s everywhere and you could be involved in one too. That’s my point. Until you learn how to love someone unconditionally, even the smallest reason can cause breakups. Speaking of broken love, it’s always about being judgmental. It’s about seeing the partner becoming “a less” person that he/she used to be, or just trapped in a match marriage or accidental act of lust. 

Speaking of Unconditional Love – Maybe I am not the best person to speak. But I think I had the experience that COULD BE a spark of Unconditional Love. Hear this. 

I remember the time when I went out with my friends and we were spending hours talking at a restaurant. My friends asked me about my updates. I told them, “Falling in love is not easy.” I continued,
“Until something like the feelings that I ever had before overpower me all over again, it’s hard to even imagine to fall in love again. I have had feelings so great, that it even passed the stage of EVALUATION. I mean, he might wear that messy hair, or gain double the weight, but I imagine if suddenly I saw him coming through that restaurant door, the first word that I would say is, “That’s My Sweetheart”. Because I have stopped to see him using the naked eyes, but it’s the eyes straight from the heart. No matter what form he becomes, he’s STILL that man that I’ve fallen in love with.”
Imagine people, I have felt how it was to see someone that way. It’s not because the man was SO GOOD or SO GREAT. In fact, he is a man with a lot of weaknesses. The weaknesses that could be more than what normal guys have. It hurt me many times, but still I hanged in there. Because there’s something else STRONGER than just seeing his weaknesses. The world might give me a thousand reasons to leave him, but I only need one to make me stay and I did. So, because I survived it, IN SPITE of his weaknesses, I began to see him more than just his strong or good points. I finally realized that what made him so special to me was not because of how romantic he was and how much money he spent on me, but it’s because THAT is the person that I have gone through a lot – the emotional roller coaster that I undergone – and finally when I gained my state of stability back again, it’s still HIM that I still care so much. So do you want to hear my conclusion on how to “be there?” 

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE will appear if you survive all the tests. The most important highlights I can give are, You must learnt to accept his shortcomings and Adapt to them, in the way that you can still stick with your ways and principles – and still feel happy and content with what the two of you have. 

But then that's an amateur point of view :) 

So what’s the keyword for Unconditional Love, according to the Fr. Who gave the sermon? 

If a person loves you IN SPITE of anything, it could be the type of love you're looking for. Let's examine the type of love that we have in our life :)

“Just Send Me The Bill”

I have this habit of saying “Just Send Me The Bill” when I ask for a certain service which needs some time to finish. I don’t want to wait there and waste my time so I ask them to send it to me together with the bill and I pay them cash. That’s how it is with me. It’s simple. You give me the bill, I pay you cash.

Just now, I sent a copy of paper to the photocopy shop and asked them to make 14 copies for me and then cut the paper into sections. I did that before so I know the charges of the service. I have asked for the same service. The first time, they charged RM 4 for 500 small cuts, and RM 0.05 each for the photocopy. Actually, at first, they told me, the cutting charge is only RM3 for that 500 pieces. They simply added RM1 to the bill, it’s okay. I won’t complain.

The second one, which was 2 days ago, I asked them to laminate using A4 papers, and they said okay. When the laminated papers sent to me, they gave me the bill that made me pay almost RM10 more than what it should – with the reason, “Sorry, we used A3 size instead, because it’s not suitable for A4 size. But I could not tell if they were really using A3 size because they have cut the papers into sections so it makes no difference anyway. But I paid with a smile. “Nevermind. You guys know what is better. As long as the products are good, it’s okay.”

So just now, when I asked them to do 14 copies and cut into pieces, they put in the bill RM0.10 each for the photocopy. I know that it’s RM0.05 each above 10 papers. So it’s already overcharged. Other than that, for the 100 small pieces, they charged me RM7 for the cutting only, and that is to compare to RM4 for 500 pieces – the same cutting job and size that I asked them to do before. I saw the bill and went, Haa? But really, because of integrity, I didn’t snap right away. I showed that “shocked” reaction but I paid it right away.

Now I begin to realize “the pattern” of trying to charge more on the bills that they send to me. It’s from the second job, when they changed the laminating film into bigger ones, without asking me first. Think I’m too sweet that I didn’t complain that day? Don’t you think you should “be grateful” that I just paid and didn’t complain about the sudden changes that made quite a difference on the bill? Don’t you think they should be grateful instead of seeing this as a chance to play dirty?

I know that you guys may say to me that RM7 is just a small amount, I should NOT make a big fuss out of it. But I have to remind you guys, that this is NOT JUST about the RM7. It’s about how reliable you are. I know that the people who I deal with are just normal workers/assistants but it doesn’t give them the right to just charge anything just because “she said, just send the bill and I pay you cash.” NO! Especially when these people who are working at the shop know that I GREET them if I saw them somewhere outside the shop. It’s more than just business deals ba. It’s about your own integrity as a human being, a friend. If you still HAVE to “take advantage” of anybody, don’t do it on the person who you find no reason to make enemies with. That’s more like a principle ba. If ini barang pun you screw, apa lagi yang orang buli harap sama kau?

It hurt me a little when I think they are taking advantage of “my kindness”. Maybe they think that I’m always busy and always running around to get tasks done, it doesn’t mean that I don’t pay attention of the small details. How na├»ve it is for some human beings to still have that kind of thoughts.

Not just because, “I think she won’t mind paying more, as long as it’s in the bill” you can take advantage of that. It’s really a wrong move to do business. If you can’t be righteous about 100 cuts of paper, what makes you think you gonna Play Fair in bigger business deals? I begin to pity them la if this is their way of “earning” off the records business. If they think I don’t care, they are wrong. It’s not the money but it’s the ETHICS. You know the price of this?

It might only cost me RM7 but it gonna cost them much more because they have lost my trust - Just like that.

“Just Send Me The Bill” sounds like A License to play dirty? If you think people are always that stupid, you gonna learn a big lesson anytime. I guarantee.

NOTE: Never take advantage of other people’s kindness.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Another Independence Day For Me

Who told ya that Independence Day can only be celebrated Once A YEAR? In my case, I celebrate it any given day!! Yesterday was CHAOTIC for me! I had to finish a lot of works in a day and you could not imagine how stressful it was for me. My head was spinning but my hands had to keep working. It was so crazy la! I almost thought I ran out of breath sudah! My headache attacked me at the evening and I could not do much but went early to bed, got up at 2 AM and continued with some tasks. The works are expected to be done by this morning and only one hour ago, the works are officially DONE! Wowww…whatta relief.

One of those stressful days, full of urgent works. Luckily, these jobs that give you more stress usually give back more cash reward. It is the kind of “joyfull stress” actually, but it doesn’t stop me from mumbling all the way. No matter how stressful it is for me, they know that I will still try so hard to meet the standard so they don’t usually worry that much. I hate it when people are making use of my perfectionism. *Lols.

Woww…again, I’m feeling so much lighter right now. Like a heavy load taken off my shoulder. It’s very rewarding to feel the Independence day once again. I told my friends, actually it’s good to have A VERY BUSY DAY once in a while because we need it to make this life more interesting. We need to have bumps here and there along the way, and not just flat and straight. Without it, I won’t feel how good it is to finally feel independent again. Anyway, I sure have works lining up for me, but the time constraint is reasonable. I can manage it. Guess what…? Stressful or not, I’m starting to love it already. *giggles

I will give my blog a new look soon because – as the psychic guy said about me, “You are the type of person who easily gets bored. You always change your mind and you’re so slow in making decisions.” (Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahhaahha) So because the psychic said so, I HAVE to do something to make his prediction comes true. *Lols. I start with, changing the looks of my blog. And it’s going to take a while before it happens because – blame it on the psychic guy also. Hahahahahahaahhahahaha. I can’t help it. He gave prediction for free so it’s just a little token of thank you from me. *Lols. Nasty 256!

Have a great Saturday everyone :)

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Theory of "What You Give, You Get Back"

Sia ingat lagi bertahun-tahun yang lalu. Time tu Christmas season ba, so ada banyak la ni fellowship yang buat tu small party yang ada buat exchange gifts, which is something very very exciting. Bah, sebab mau dapat hadiah kan!!! *Lols. Suma orang suka hadiah ba. Sebab benda tu diberi dengan kau percuma dan rasa mcm surprise ba mau tau apa yang orang tu bagi. So masa2 tukar2 hadiah ni satu aktiviti favourite yang selalu dibuat oleh me and my friends kalau kamirang buat party.

So, I have something to share with you guys k. Ini mungkin tips pok silap, tapi kalau tidak mengena pun nda apa…I tell you why. Let me share my little story. Masa Christmas season tu kan, my kawan2 yang aktif fellowship ni bawa la ikut tu Christmas party yg kana handled of the Christian students community. First, sia rasa sia nda layak ikut tu party sebab sia bukan ikut dorang punya perjumpaan tu secara aktif ba. But kana paksa2 juga, so at least my motivation was the exchanging gifts la. Itu saja yang best sia rasa masa tu. Hehehehehe. So dia kasi satu price minimum for the gift. Masa tu, I was a much different person sebab I took things for granted – especially that age la. I liked to do things just for the fun of it and not really care about the more important elements – like the spirit of celebration and togetherness. So masa tu, I bought a gift tanpa rasa keikhlasan ba. Saja2 mau have something to bring and hope to get something good. Yup, that’s normally what in everybody’s mind. People want to give less but get something more. I know how it feels so sia bukan saja2 buat cerita.

So masa bawa2 gifts tu kan, wahhh…gift2 dorang bukan main happening lagi. Wrapping pun mcm2. Apa lagi when dorang taruh nombor di gift tu kan, betul2 random ba. Dalam byk2 hadiah besar2 sana, mimang sepa2 ya buli pick the number and get on of the most expensive gifts there. Semua orang mau dapat gift yang paling expensive and paling lawa…sedangkan maybe sendiri pun kasi gift yang sendiri pun tidak mau ba. True or not? Tapi yg paling pitiful adalah gift yang dibeli tanpa keikhlasan ba guys.

So masa tu, sudah la sia join tu party pun separuh hati, langsung tiada penghayatan atau appreciation for the event ba. So masa sia pegi claim itu gift for number yang sia cabut. Itu orang yang bertugas bukan main kepayahan mau cari mana itu gift yang ada number yang sia cabut tu. So last2 ada this very very small gift, the smallest of them all pula yang ada tu numbur. Judging from the size, mimang la sia sangat2 upset dapat tu gift tu masa. Begitu byk hadiah yang besar2, sia dapat juga yang THE SMALLEST of them all. Masa sia pegang tu gift ja sia betul2 upset dan sia tidak terpikir pun untuk buka. Sia just tossed masuk my bag and didn’t open langsung.

So on our way back, my kawan2 semua sibuk cakap pasal hadiah masing2. Ada hadiah2 yang ganjil2 but nice to see la sebab tidak pernah dilihat. Macamana buruk pun hadiah dorang, I still thought hadiah yang sia dapat tu la yang the worst walaupun sia belum buka. So when sampai di rumah and sia finally buka tu hadiah, it was a cute crystal decoration for Christmas. Which is sweet la actually. Ada card lagi sana yang ada tulis ucapan dan nama org yang bagi tu and I know the guy yang bought that gift. Tapi still dalam hati sia upset juga tu masa sebab kawan2 lelaki sia ada yang dapat teddybear satu pasang lagi, ada yang dapat kaset…you know, all those stuff yang lebih exciting ba. Come to think about it, I learnt something. Sia rasa I don’t need a second lesson mcm tu juga to know yang “What You Give, You Get Back.” Hadiah yang sia dapat tu, exactly the same price sama hadiah yang sia letak di sana. Entah kenapa boleh kebetulan. Sia rasa mimang sia kena teach satu lesson of a lifetime la tu. Itu harga hadiah tidak jadi hal, atau apa itu hadiah pun tidak jadi hal. Yang jadi hal ni adalah rasa “kekecewaan” yang really spoilt the nite yang should be meant for a big celebration. Kalau hal2 mcm ni boleh teach me something, then maybe mimang it served me right la.

So, the next event yang needs exchanging gifts yang involved random people kan which happened a few years after, sia guna satu concept yang berbeza sudah. Sebab sia mau prove itu theory. Sia main berani saja taruh hadiah yang jauh melebihi budget yang dikasi tetap dan sia buat aim lagi yang sia mau sepa yang dapat hadiah sia tu MESTI yang paling gembira hari tu, dan yg lain akan jeles dengan dia. Ha, sampai mcm tu sekali. Sia mau tinguk, BETULKAH itu theory, What You Give, You Get Back. So masa tu sia punya harapan untuk hadiah yg sia akan dapat, sikit pun tiada. Sia tidak harap pun hadiah mahal or hadiah bagus2. Sia nda kisah sudah. Sebab harga yang kana set tu mimang cukup tinggi sudah untuk sesi tukar hadiah yang biasa untuk students, so sepa2 pun mesti dapat something yg worth it. So akhirnya, everyone gets something. My aim betul2 tercapai. Orang yang dapat my gift tu paling bahagia tu masa, dan dicemburui oleh kawan2 yang lain…ehehehe, sebab apa? Sebab itu gift was made exclusively for our group so mimang teda di kedai punya. Itu barang dorang kena order from me lagi kalau dorang mau. Dan harga dia mimang sia charge mahal sebab itu my original work. Tapi sia paling puas hati tinguk kegembiraan di mata kawan sia yg dapat tu gift. And how dorang cakap, “Jeles sia o kau dapat tu hadiah!” Tu pun sia happy betul sudah. And speaking of my gift pula…YES, I got a very nice musical table clock yang I never seen at any kedai pun. The music is a real tone punya lagu and not just music. Got patung menari lagi sana. Mimang enough to make me smile cos I like keunikan tu gift. I know yg the gift pun confirm over budget punya. Masa tu sia bukan peduli sangat tu barang, sia punya aim cuma mau buat ujian on the theory saja ba. Orang lain dapat frame or any decoration yg biasa dinampak di kedai. Masa pulang tu, I Smiled…I said, I think YES, memang betul yang “What you give, you get back.”

Itu pok silap punya tips sia baru ja reveal sama u guys. If you want to get something good, GIVE something good. But if it has to be unfair that you sudah kasi bagus2, tapi u dapat something yang tidak berapa bagus, then look at your keikhlasan la. Maybe you screw up bahagian sana. Hati yg tidak ikhlas memberi ni kan, tidak akan merasa gembira ba walau apa pun dia dapat. At the end of the day, if you give something good to orang lain, and get NOTHING sebagai balasan pun, hati u sendiri akan puas sebab kau punya niat tu mimang mau orang lain yang happy. Paling2 pun tidak lari yg u mimang akan dapat ganjaran dari atas punya ba tu. Betul ka tidak? :)

Jadi…speaking of gifts. The days yang I mengharap gifts daripada orang – is over. I think that I have received the most wonderful gifts sudah my whole life. I have had boyfriends who lavished me with special gifts, and even ordinary friends – so sia pernah rasa sudah kegembiraan yang teramat sangat bila dapat something nice. So sia tidak that excited lagi untuk mengharap hadiah dari orang. Bagi sia, a good relationship between the person and me tu pun sudah cukup. Yang penting hati bahagia. Nah tu pun cukup sudah that. Kalau sia mampu untuk kasi happy org dengan gift yang sia buli bagi dorang, itu sendiri pun sudah satu gift for me. Cuma I have a principle la dalam ini hal. Kalau sia nda ikhlas, sia nda akan bagi punya. So sia rather kana cakap stingy or kedekut daripada sia mau menunjuk dengan org yang sia yg paling generous, sedangkan hati sia tidak ikhlas. Those days were over too. I won’t do anything like that anymore.

Want to try out the theory? Hehehehe. Good Luck!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Price Of A MistaKE

Nobody’s Perfect. Nda kira la macamana keras kepala pun kita ni, dan macamana perfectionist pun kita, kita mimang akan buat kesilapan. Yang lebih menggeramkan, kesilapan yang sama juga kita buat balik2. Kesilapan yang sendiri saja yang tanggung tu ok lagi, tapi sampai orang lain pun kena menanggung juga kesilapan kita tu, mungkin WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING. Apa aturan pula hidup kalau tidak pandai belajar dari kesilapan. Sia berani cakap begitu even to myself sebab sia tau sia ni manusia yang banyak kelemahan. Walaupun ada masanya sia rasa diri sentiasa betul, tapi sia rasa wisdom gives me the knowledge yang Yes Twofivesix[256], You Make Mistakes Too.

Last year, when I had my first heated argument with a customer, sia berabis cakap yang Dia yang Salah, Dia yang Salah! Haa, tu la yang sia cakap. Walaupun sia cakap sia sendiri pun ada salah, tapi sia tetap tekankan yang dia sendiri pun ada salah yang menyumbang kepada masalah kecil tu. So sejak peristiwa tu, sia semakin berhati-hati. Jangan sampai sia buat mistake yang buat my customer ada chance untuk smash me. So masa tu, sia tanggung kesilapan tu semua. Sia terpaksa tanggung kerugian yang quite memedihkan juga la. Tapi masa tu, sia rasa itu lah price sebuah kesilapan.

So just now, sia sudah confirm one work and sudah kana review pun oleh the customer, yang Yes, all is tip top sudah. When I went with it almost halfway, I realize there’s a stupid stupid mistake that I did but overlooked by the customer. Arrgghhhh…Not Again!!!! Jadi? Apa sia kena buat sekarang? Mula membebel lagi yang…Ohh itu customer pun tidak sedar tu mistake, jadi itu silap dorang! Nahh, tu la perangai sia dulu tu. But now, I finally realize something. Itu customer actually TRUST sama sia, yang sia akan buat the best. Dorang yakin I won’t make mistake dan that’s why dorang tinguk sekali imbas ja tu barang. So now, I made the mistake, mimang sia nda buli bising lagi. Kalau sia tahan sakit, bagus sia pi tampar muka sendiri la sebab masih belum lagi pass buat kerja yang TOTALLY no mistakes. Stupid stupid mistakes!!!\

So tadi, cara sia hukum diri sia adalah dengan buat semua tu benda semua walaupun kerugian sudah berlaku. Dengan syarat, jangan sekali-kali sia rasa sakit hati dengan kerugian yang sudah berlaku ni, sebab PADAN DENGAN MUKA SIA sebab buat kesilapan ni. Semua kerugian sia tu adalah HARGA kepada kesilapan yang sia sudah buat berkali-kali. Kalau sia nda mau lagi rugi, YOU BETTER DO IT RIGHT, Twofivesix[256]!!

Nah, tapi apa la juga kerugian kecil ini kalau dibandingkan dengan pengajaran yang sia dapat dari ni semua. Kalau la kerugian ini yang buli jadikan sia orang yang lebih baik, sia berani cakap yang BETAPA KECILnya nilai kerugian ini.

Apa pun…sia harap inilah kesilapan terakhir yang sia buat dalam benda ni. I Learnt My Lesson. Bagus la yang kerugian sia cuma kecil saja. Tapi itu tidak bermaksud yang sia akan tunggu sampai kerugian sia betul2 besar baru sia mau belajar dari kesilapan kan. Today I Officially Learnt My Lesson. You guys semua jadi saksi ahh. Hehehehe. Muahss


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