I almost turned my 1st day of December into a destructive day. The time when I am beginning to struggle living in faith, the more I question if I am fit or not to do that. To have all the doubts and funny thoughts – and at the same time, claiming to start living a life of faith. Something is quite not right, don’t you think so?
When I was at the church just now, I started to think all the torturing things that caused discomfort to me. I started to worry, to doubt, to question one’s trustworthiness, all these were messing with my mind that time. Where is my faith, I asked myself. Then I asked another question, if I claim to be living in a life of faith, does that mean I can’t have doubt in people? Especially when people are in an important position, which what they do gonna give impact to me?
For once, when I speak about struggle to live a life of faith or fear, my focus was really about God. About how much I can trust in Him, and His plan. I forgot the part where the devil is very related to this too. Devil is using fear to make us lose faith. And suddenly, I just got shocked by the fact that I could be having one of those times. The devil was whispering and influencing me to have all the issues in my head. So I could keep myself off the track of my faith. So I could doubt and question God if He's really there for me. This would make my faith go shaky. The moment when I lose faith that God is in control, HE MUST BE LAUGHING LIKE HELL!
By the time that this tought crossed my mind about the work of devil, I got really pissed and determined that NO, I won’t let it WIN! I hate the fact that this Devil, an entity that mislead and confuse us, is going to have its victory on me. The more I hate of it, the tighter I hold on to my faith! Just the thought of the devil laughing enough to make me want to do anything to just don’t make it happen!
You guess from where did the realization come from? From my determination to make FAITH as my way of life. Every struggle is just easier with faith. Even in the most difficult situation, the dose of guidance will just arrive in a split second. So guys, a word from me. If you want God in your life, He will make a way. He will make things easier and smoother for you to be with Him. You have to make the crucial decision who to follow.
So remember this, when things suddenly get confusing, and it hurts your gut, it makes you want to ruin things that you have, and hurt people that you love, THAT IS DEVIL DOING THE JOB!! You give in, devil is having the laugh of a lifetime, DO YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN?
Today, I successfully managed to skip the Devil work. At first I had my anger, and it burst out the way that would hurt people if I insist and then something just got into me. I lowered my ego and settled things like an adult. Suddenly I didn’t want to win the argument. I wanted to settle it right then and there. And Viola!! It’s done and A LOVE IS SAVED. Thank you God. This is what FAITH does to us. I see it now. And to Devil, looks like I was the one who have the last laugh! Hahahahaha.
Alleluia!!! Praise be to God!