Saturday, December 13, 2014

"Not That I Didn't Try"

I've been observing this one personality - been following his updates and stuff. From the way he behaves in his Ig, I can tell that he is not the friendly type. He pick friends and he can't pretend to be in good terms with everyone he knows. So I read that he's said to be boasty, arrogant and doesn't mix with people. Work wise, he's very talented. But outside set, how much can a person act to be someone he isn't? 

I somehow relate to his situation - the part where "not that I don't try, but I'm born like this."  I've been in the situation where I constantly try to be what I think people like me to become. It was damn tiring. It felt good to be liked for that. But how far can I go becoming that person? I can't. I got tired and let it be. Maybe I just understand myself better, and I learn to accept my nature. Being called sombong is nothing new to me, but I just know, it's because we don't have the chance to know each other in a comforting manner. Maybe our roads don't cross, maybe we just never bump and have quality talks. I'm glad that the community where I work, they don't spend too much time judging. They have reached an understanding that, if I behave in a way - I might have something going on, and whatever I do, if anyone get hurt, they know I don't mean it. My ignorance can sometimes be a bit rude, but they know I am not a bad person. Maybe that's good enough for me. I still can't expect them to talk only good things about me, just as long as they know I don't bother their live with my problems. They can rest assured I won't disturb their privacy, and I'm much into my own things that I don't even have that space to badmouth about them. So these people, have accepted me this way. If you think I don't want to be better than this, I do. Who doesn't want to be called all the good names? But it feels better to just be this way, despite the fact that you won't be that likable. That's why some people just insist to do it their way, and lose many friends. That's why, I stop hoping too much that everyone will like me, but at least, if one day they can accept me, understand me, and still find a way to respect me, I hope I will have the chance to personally thank them for that. 

So when you meet someone who is not friendly and hard to approach, remember that deep inside them, they do wish they can be everything you expect, and I'm sure they tried it before and they decided they rather just be themselves. Yeah :)

Thursday, November 27, 2014

"The Shop Of My Dream"

Are you one of those who dream of owning a really lovely shop where you can decorate it with all the lovely furniture, paint it with your favourite colours, and imagine having people going in the shops buying things you sell. When I look at some of these lovely eateries in town, that thought crossed my mind. These people are among those who have the same dream. You totally understand. They way they decorate it, you know it's every favourite items they can think of. The theme, the fabric on the sofa, the colour of the chairs, totally one of the things you normally want in the shop of your dream.

I entered a few of these eateries with that "dream shop" concept. They are really lovely, You gonna love what you see. But...suddenly I wonder, is it enough to just materialize the dream shop into reality, which gonna cost a fortune, but How practical that dream shop is in reality? In reality, you don't have a fairy godmother to magic wand that dream shop to simply appear before your eyes. Some of them sold a land, even work for years to have enough fund to afford that shop. So, do you think you make your dream shop just as an exhibition for people to pass by, to drop by and compliment the shop? Is it enough? IT'S NOT. 

Shop is where you do a business. A business means you expect profit to come from your investment. That investment is gonna be your source of income. That income you gonna use to afford your life necessities as well as your family's. So in reality, a dream shop will be your nightmare if you simply invest without return. Eventually you gonna lose that dream shop to the premis owner when you can't afford the monthly rental. You might gonna lose more when you start sacrificing your asset to save your dream shop. You get my point here? That dream shop must make money to continue to exist!

From my observation, some of these dream shop owners, they think profit with come as long as they manage to make the dream shop come true. When they realize that business is more than just how beautiful their premis is. They don't have enough worker, they simply being hasty about the foods they sell, they don't care if they have a special recipe, they think anything will be good enough as long as the place is lovely. NO. Not true. I sat at one dream shop last weekend and they made the shop so exclusively lovely but they talked to each other like they were at the wet market. They were some non-apron young girls handling the foods and orders, and they were too busy talking and laughing, they forgot the orders. No wonder, they were busy with their phone too. Oh man. The owner sat there talking out loud, bragging about the shop being the loveliest around, and spoke about his plan opening at a bigger premis. But as he was talking, the few customers in the shop were not even served well. Some of the foods arrived half an hour later after we reminded them, they said they didn't know about the order. Goodness!! How?? You plan to open in a bigger premis when you can't even manage a small premis! No, don't do that please. Don't do that to your dream shop. 

I am not here to just criticize, cos I know and I can feel the kind of achievement to finally have your dream shop. But don't stop there. You guys are doing alright, but don't take it lightly whatever the business activities in the shop. That is the "heart" of the dream shop. It is what makes money. It's a big mistake to simply open one and treat it like "a haunted shop" instead. Like this other dream shop I went to, he got NO worker!! He said he would prepare the food alone, and we would have to wait if we order a lot. A beautiful restaurant like that, and he could not even have one assistant! He thought he could run it alone? Oh gosh, don't do that lah! We asked him why he got no worker? He said, not easy to find workers. He was right but he must know about this before he decided to make that restaurant. Don't act like he only learn about some obvious reality in life after spending so much. 

Deep in my heart I hope that they can continue! I want them to continue. I love seeing people achieving their dreams, cos it can inspire me and a lot more other people. But they might just in the learning process, so I hope they won't give up. Please continue building more dreams from that dream shop. May you achieve more and more dreams from there.

Note : I know you have your dream shop too :))

The Half-Hearted You

Suddenly I'm wondering, every good words I say, every smile I give, every little kindness that I do, do I do it with all my heart @ wholeheartedly? Cos I notice that, sometimes the words that I say, only half of me actually involves in it. Half of me claim no responsibility, no attachment at all. Ah, doesn't feel so good for someone who believes that someone must be sincere in what they do before they can give and get back the best. But, why this question now?

Lets put it this way. As much as we want to do things wholeheartedly, we do things subconsciously. We can control our intention, we can control our level of politeness, but there are things we can't control. Sometimes out of compassion, we act in a certain way spontaneously to respond to the individual or situation - because we feel that it's the most we can do at the moment. And the next thing you know, you don't really mean every word you say, but it doesn't hurt to say them as long as you don't hurt people; in fact if you can make people feel good, you think it doesn't matter if you really mean it or not. Words from our mouth - they just flow and pour. Come to think about it, does it matter if you mean it? In some situations, it doesn't. People don't have to know what you are really thinking. What they care if how much good things you would share from it, and that's enough. 

Speaking of being totally involved in words and actions; wholeheartedly or halfheartedly, suddenly I wonder if people will be happy if we just mind to do things only when we do it wholeheartedly. Like people say, if you wait for the right time to do something good, maybe the time will never come. Do it now, do it today. I just put it this way. I am no way as friendly and polite like people wish me to be, which I know I am better becoming the person they expect of me. But how capable I am to do that? I can't just wish for it and already I become one, no. But with all the noble intention I have in the world, with limited capability, at least I make the first step, of trying to do the right thing. Yeah, maybe I may only do it halfheartedly today, but one day I might really really do mean it. 

I'm sure you have the same issue yourself. It's alright. We'll get there someday, I'm sure :))

Monday, October 20, 2014

Silent Emotions Of The Best Of Friends

We notice it or not, even among the best of our closefriends, there will be unsaid emotions that "everybody understands but won't speak about." That they think you are a great companion, and yeah, plus all the good years of ups and downs from college, and life might be treating each of you differently, some achieve more, some achieve less. But yes, we can still sit at one table feeling totally at home being with them. We share the most original jokes. None of these are forced on us. But ironically, we don't fancy our friends keep telling about the good side of their lives only. We dislike that they keep showing the bright side of only, hilighting only what's good about their physicals and relationships; sharing photos that are showing too much of happiness - I mean, they can take that, but only at a certain limit. 

 Deep inside they know you well. Noone has a perfect life, and they prefer that you stay human, show your defects, admit your misfortunes, speak about your sadness and insecurity. Too much of -only the good things- will make your friends feel uncomfortable, and they silently begin to "hate" it. It's strange, but it makes your friends feel better about themselves if you talk about your problems, talk about your struggles. They prefer if you upload some really messy photo of you, no makeover, no grooming, cos either way, it won't impress them so much too. They just... prefer the humble you and stop trying to impress them for they know you so much better than that. Aha...

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Can I Get A Discount?

An older customer came today and said he wanted something like what he ordered before but he found another place that charged lower that what he paid before.

He kept asking "can I get a discount?" So upon hearing that he found another place that charged lower, I said, "Oh, why not go to that place this time?" which I really meant it.To me it's their right to get the cheapest price, they have the choice. Then he was giving me that look of, "No no, that's not what I mean". 

So he continued, "I only ask in case I can get a discount but if I can't, it's okay," Maybe he thought he had hurt me or what, but he didn't know what I was really thinking! So when he said that he wanted to order in quantity, then I said, "Ohh, why don't you tell me earlier?" So just like that, I gave him a price, which was lower than the price he expected. 

My reason is, price is just something, but it's not everything. I can understand his situation that they only started business and still came to me knowing that I charge higher, I actually have a special "price adjustment" for case by case basis. Plus, they order in quantity, so I no longer feel guilty for the generous discount. At least I agree with, Keeping your old customers is 5 times cheaper than getting new ones.

So you know, sometimes what you do effortlessly is what will earn you the discount, instead of keep bugging to get it, which won't work for me. So in the end, it's always Win-win with my customers. Fair enuff...hehe

The Dancing Sun; Do You Believe A Sun Can Dance?

I was looking for some story of Divine Mercy in youtube, when I saw this clip of the dancing sun in Philippine. If you know about what happened in Fatima, many years ago, during the first apparition of Mother Mary before the eyes of 3 kids, and how the kids requested her to show something for the people to believe that they did not make up story about seeing her. So she asked them to invite the people to gather at the field to show them a sign. So they did gather. Next was the sun started to move towards them. Well, nothing was recorded but it was witnessed by some 70,000 people from different faiths. So looks like something like that actually happened in the modern days, and they took the video live. Then I tried to look for some scientific explanation about the dancing sun; well, you can read all the theories of what people say when they refuse to believe. 

Considering the faith that I have, I also look for science alternative behind something out of curiosity. We all know that there's nothing that the technology cant do these day, we've seen enuff. Especially when you rely on things that you see and read on media, and not experience it yourself. Some will believe just about anything, as long as it will deny that it's God behind it. You know what, faith doesn't need all that miracles. Faith is around before things can be seen. To me, these miracles are for the believers. If you believe, it will work wonders on you. And you don't need explanation. After all, we believe that God made you and me, everything, every single thing even from the smallest atom. It's God that made them. So what do you think that God can't do? The Miracle of the Sun, of any kind of supernatural that are related to the existence of God, it's not so much about that miracles per se, but the IMPACT it has on the believers. Those who keep saying that this is the work of the Satan, hold it there. I am sure that Satan's mission is to divert us from our faith, and not to strengthen it. And these believers are praying to that same God, even without the miracles. It's no necessary, but when He wants to do it, you know He can do anything. ANYTHING AT ALL. 

If you can't explain it with your science, maybe for once, it's simpler to just believe that God is really up there. *winks

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Do Bad Guys Necessarily Make Bad Customers?

I first know this guy about 6 years ago. He had an affair with a senior friend when he was still married, and was involved in a few cases of blackmailing/threatening people, besides being a hardcore alcoholic. Knowing all this didn't really bother me since it was none of my business. 

I dealt with the guy recently when he came as a customer. I noticed that he was really courteous. He asked for a certain favour and he never argued about price etc. He did not speak outside the deal, or said something that disturbed me. In fact, in the end, he actually said Terima kasih, which made me think again, if he was really a bad guy. 

Cos I've met guy customers who appear to be more educated, friendlier and appeared to be nice at first only to know that they could be quite disturbing. I really dislike customers who flirt, or who harass ladies even just with words, who keep bugging to get special price etc. I think guys should save us ladies from difficult attitudes, cos guys should be simpler to handle, less fussy and more considerate; assuming that they have bigger responsibilities and better things to do. Some guys really get it when certain ladies are only interested in the job and entertain no hanky panky. At the end of the day, however the guys are in other side of their lives, if they know how to respect a lady, they are still better than the rest who don't.

Friday, August 29, 2014

What Did I Get From Watching Bruce Almighty?

I watched Bruce Almighty like 3 weeks ago and I thought the movie sucks. The movie didn't try its best trying to depict how a normal man got the power of God; that God wants to see if he can handle everything as he expects Him to do. Of course it's not logic, but it's worse than not logic. It should be known to us that there's no way he can do that in a human capacity. He's not given the thought like God's. He's still functioning like himself, who is mad at some people and wants to get back to them now he has God's power. That's already a lost battle against God, right? God only gives His power but not His wisdom, so how could he manage to do better? But wait. There's one very valuable reminder that I get from this movie. It's about FREEWILL.

If I wish I were kinder or more generous, can I pray for it? Not that God can't, but would He do that? Have we been praying to be given new attitudes when we are still doing things the same way? I am wondering myself. It's ridiculous. Cos if God gives us this life just to follow everything that are pre-planned, we will be a bunch of barbies or robots, that He has no more question or judgment to make since we will all go and do what we are set to do. Correct? I really agree with Freewill. It makes the whole sense why we still choose to be bad when we know what is good, all those stuff. According to the movie, it's the only thing that God won't meddle with. If it involves Freewill, He will not have His say. So that's why, when Bruce lost his girlfriend who used to love him, he could not use his Godly power to make her love him back. Because it's out of her freewill that she thinks Bruce has changed and she doesn't love the new man he has become.

We can't simply pray to God to make anyone love us, it's our job to do something that gives people the reason to love us willingly. Just as much as others can't use God to change our feelings towards anything else. But God can help us by making us understand through things that we encounter. Even that involves freewill. If we are egoistic, if we are stubborn, we will always think that we are always right. So God can't reach to people who are without a humble heart. They will not see beyond things to understand the message that God is trying to send. So guys, now that we know about Freewill, can me make a good news out of this? Isn't this a superpower that God gives us, that He totally leaves it to us to decide. So you know, if we turn to righteousness after knowing that we could turn the other way, that explains why God really appreciate it. Because following God is the choice of freewill, and that's what it's all about. It's only through Freewill that we can become kinder, more generous, less sinful etc. How can we not use this power to become a good person? 

Stop thinking that everything happens because it's God that makes it happen that way. We have choices to make everyday. How can these choices have no impact in the outcome of our lives? So if we try to disengage the fact that everything happens "as written", we will take charge instead of just waiting for things to just simply happen. We have freewill, brothers and sisters. We will not waste this power. We will do it better from here. Alleluia! Thank you for this gift of Freewill, God. May this gives us better understanding of how much we can do to make our live into Your favour. Guide us oh Lord. Thank you :)

Monday, August 25, 2014

When The Food Is On My Plate...

It's kinda funny for someone who can buy any foods she wants to eat, but she often orders foods that are not to you liking, but when your food comes, suddenly it's the foods that she wants. That's my sister. When she orders something, she always eats just a bit and let others eat the rest because It's not tasty or I can't finish it, she said. But when it's others who order the same food, suddenly she looks like she never saw the foods at all. Suddenly it's so yummy and she can't help but steal it. Hahahahha. I saw this many times, when she scoops my foods when when I am still eating them, then the next time going there, I have to remind her to order foods that might taste good, and not just the normal kind of foods that she orders. That's why when the eatery is good, she tells people that it isn't. Simply because she orders the wrong menu, and judging from how many times she looks at what I have on my plate, I knew it that she could have picked a better menu. But she's just stubborn thinking that "my taste is different than yours" but judging from how she looks at the foods on my plate everytime, I don't think so!! Hahahaha. That's my sister. Above all that, I love her so much. The best sister in the world. So blessed to have a sister like her. As much as I dislike it that she orders the wrong menu and victimize me for that, I think it's hilarious, and the only reason why I often find the way to critisize her is that, I'm just playing the "annoying lil sister". I guess I'm used to bla bla bla whenever she takes anything from me without me handing it to her. LOLS. My oh My. Now I'm reminded how luck I am to have a sister, and that I become closer to her again because of the times we spend eating out together after work...Hehe. 

Thank you God for the foods on our plates...:)) 

Sunday, August 24, 2014

How Personal Is Your Fb Like?

It used to be very personal to me. When I click Like to any post or page, it means that I don't just like it, but I agree to every idea that the person is writing, that the post must at least inspire me, or entertainment me at some level, and my Fb likes mean that people can tell something about me from what post I click Like. Whoaa, I really did take it seriously back then, didn't I? Hahaha. Plus, clicking Fb like is not usual to me. I am very particular about what I click. Only a few times that I donated my click just to help a friend to promote a competition page, or just to say thank you to a friend who uploaded pics of foods because I requested her. Other than that, it must be very personal for me to click Like. Well, but that attitude won't do much to me in this social network, cos most people click Like to support each other, or to return the favour. Most won't do it to the inactive likers like me. This is truly understandable, and fair. Hehe.

But then, it becomes a problem to me when it comes to my work Fb networking. Since I don't click Like on people's post, people don't click Like on mine too. Likes are important when it comes to marketing. It gives the impression that you have a good network and that your reputation is good. But then, I can rest assured that the Fb Likes that I get so far are genuine. They know they won't get the same favour from me, but they still do it cos they really like certain posts or pictures. I appreciate it. But I must do something to boost my networking to promote the services that products that I offer, right? I am also not the Liker of people's page, despite how many invitation I get. I dislike the idea that I have to click pages that I have no interest of following, just for the sake of replying the page invitation. The same concept that I do with my page. I want people to like my page because they like my products. Not because they feel forced or because I invite them. I am officially a Passive Marketer. Hahaha. Same with my Instagram, my Twitter, I am just a backbencher who wait Followers to fall from the sky cos I won't simply follow people's account too. I deserve this punishment. Hahahaha. Ok kidding.

So, I'm glad that I finally found a way to break the shell of my poor marketing skill. Thanks to this friend of mine, who insisted on teaching me ways to make money online. Even that took a while for me to realize if "this is my thing", cos I don't want to make money using the ridiculous ways that some people do. I want it to be clear, realistic, and not too good to be true. But really, thanks to him! I found a way that people have been doing to increase their followers/likers. I saw it everywhere but I thought it was a scam. Until a friend who went through the site and told me how it works. I finally registered at the site, and I find it very very interesting!!

Through the site, I can get people to Like/Follow my social media accounts, but only IF I have points. The points I can only get from clicking Like to other people's accounts too. It will show me a bunch of Fb pages, and they all come with points. If I click Like to the page, I will get the point. So when I have points, my pages too will be available at the site for others to click Like/Follow. It's so interesting! The thrill is like playing some games that keep you excited, cos you can see the number of your points, will go up when you like, and will go down again when someone Like/Follow your accounts. You can include all your social networking accounts, and the most interesting thing is, you starts getting plenty of notifications!! That people are "rushing" into your list of followers. O-M-GEE!! Hahaha. Nice isn't it? I really like it. Imagine the Likes that I never get in years, I got only in less than an hour. And this isn't no crime. Cos it's not clones who Like/Follow, but it's real people who click. They want to get points too so they will click just about any account that appears on the site.

Question is, I have to say farewell to my old days when Fb Likes used to be personal. No more, no more! I totally violated my own principal, but I will stay stagnant and a non-mover if I don't accept changes. These Likes, tho they are just in numbers, give me new spirit to market my products more. They mean a lot, cos after all, I do deserve that kind of Likes, No, not because I'm good. But because if I have smaller Likes, they won't know how passionate I am in my job, and how efficient can I be, how good my skills are and the experiences that I have in dealing with different customers. They can't belittle me just because of lack of Likes on Fb, just because of my poor marketing skill. I mean, you have to give yourself credit for all your hardworks too, you deserve it. It's not an easy journey to me so no matter how weak I am, at least there's something that right that I've done. So guys, allow me to get all this blind Like/Follower okayyy... Hahaha. O ya. In case you're interested, go join this site!! And remember to prepare enough space for the pouring Likes and Followers that will come to page. Hahaha. Good luck!!

Saturday, August 23, 2014


I have this one friend, who used to be - Not the favourite- girl in school. Simply because of her attitudes and lifestyles. I had to cut all contacts with her because she would stick to your like a leech and drag you in all her scandals. I took the decision after some deep thoughts. I thought that I could not change her. I thought that at the same time, I could not go with her way anymore, or I could be in constant heartache trying to be a friend in a toxic friendship. It's been years since I never talked to her anymore. 

Recently, she had to find me to get some works done. I was so reluctant when a friend passed my number to her. But then I decided that I have grown up since then. I shouldn't act like a small girl anymore. Especially when what she offers me is some good business which helps me with my work. No, not just about that. I saw some changes in her too. Thank God that motherhood keeps her occupied to the noble works of raising his kids, instead of getting in bad scandals like before.

So despite my reluctance, I have accepted her into my circle of friend again. In fact, I find reasons to admire her. All her patience and strength, despite having friends who dissed her, she keeps standing strong and building her life. I know that her weaknesses will not be completely gone, I always know she has these qualities, but after the test of times, it takes extraordinary courage to still keep going strong. Plus, I can see that she's making the effort, even if she actually doesn't need me in her life. She has options. She accepts that only when she has business to give me, then only we contact. It looks selfish, right? But it's not. It's Symbiosis. Maybe I trade convenience with business. 

So, if you ask what I feel. I feel better this way. I always feel guilty of what I did to her, just by not talking to her for years. Now that I talk to her again, I feel like this is the way to go. One of the things why I love maturity so much. It just makes you wiser. Thank you Lord. Please bless the friendship that I have with my friends. Forgive us for the wrongs we have done towards one another, and help us to become a better friend to each other, with You as the pillar. Amen.  

What's My Obligation To You, Again?

I've been in the young girl's shoes who did a lot of stupid stuff, just from being naive. I saw how people took advantage of me, and thought that they could fool me just because I tried to be nice, and the next time I know, that kindness was a joke to them. Maybe they gave me back some good words that made me feel good about myself, but I don't find that amusing anymore. It's okay with just real friends who talk the real stuff.  

But life unveil its skin day to day, so do people. I have to take care a lot of things in my life. Problems that I deal with, I have to deal with them alone, cos unlike some people, I do not share my troubles that easily. Whether my ego is just damn high or I just don't want to spoil people's day by hearing my problem, and drag them in. When people come to me to speak about their problems, they have no ideas that mine could be worse than theirs. But I am always at the chair, who owns the Listening Booth, and nobody freaking cares if that booth has its own problem too. And I could go on this way as much as I can still spare a bit of time and attention to. But I guess I finally saw my end line, that it is the most that I can go. When I am clearer with my priorities, I finally realize I have less time for dramas. Just because I was more generous with my time before, people think they have the rights to it. They can just claim it anytime, and when I don't comply, I am the bad girl. 

This is no more the days when I go use 3 phones, replying messages to 3 different people, talking totally nonsense, or talk till morning comes, without any benefit. I could sit there in front of the chatroom, seeing people chat, despite my works need to be attended. I have done superstupid things with my times so far. I'd still do it for my close friends, which only require me once or twice in months time. I'd do it for my beloved family, I'd take the day off just to be with my little nephews. These people don't tie me to any judgment or evaluation, I can feel free to slip and trip in front of them, they will accept me. If you are outside this territory, that I only have to speak nice things to impress you, or look good all the times to make you smile to me, I'm done with all that.

I only need a sincere and effortless relationships in my life. I no more want to impress anyone. I am not looking for flattering. If you feel anything good about me, just treat me nice, and save your sugarcoated words. And I am always true with one thing. You can be mad if you don't know your wife's full name, or ic number, or where she lives, or spend time with you anytime you want. Only she has the obligation to do all that to you. You can't expect this from the ladies out there who are not your wife. Take care of the people who matters the most to you. They need your attention, and people like me don't deserve it. 

Note: You have no idea how much people lost just because they did this mistake. 

Peace :)

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

If It Doesn't Come As A Gift, It's Meaningless

Read the topic and what first comes to your mind? Do you imagine you saw this item on the rack, expensive but you have the money. You want it so much cos everyone else wants it, but a lot of them don't have the money, and then one more thing. You know that it can take everything in your bank account but this Item doesn't own-able that way. This Item will only give you its magic when it comes to you as a gift that you don't request. Puzzled now?

I realize that a few things in life are like that. You cannot simply ask God to give it to you. You can't force it to be in you now matter how hard you try. You can fake having it for a while, but if you don't really have it, you'll end frustrated knowing that you can only do so much. You want to know what is that? One of them is LOVE.

Just now it just hit my mind. You cannot even stand sitting beside some strangers. Maybe they smell, or maybe you don't like how they dress, and you don't like the idea that they might start a conversation, and try to be nice, when you know for sure these people - are just not your type. Yeah, maybe it's too early to know a stranger to feel anything towards them. But when you speak of having a special feeling of Love, I bet even the most charming guy in his club also won't interest you. You'll find issues why this guy or that guy - is just not your cup of tea. But even the guy you thought is not interesting, is the most special to some other girl. So it's not the other person's fault WHY you see them the way you see them. Cos when Love is not given to you to give to that person, you can't just relate to loving that person even How Hard you or that person tries. Ah, get my point?

I mean, if you have received this gift called Love, that you give to someone, who also will smell when they get sweaty, who will also look awful when they don't groom - you don't even look at those points. Suddenly your senses are being ignorant, with your permission. Love will give the person you love, advantages that you won't give anybody else. The advantage to just show their weaknesses, without you having to judge them. This will come in package along with forgiveness, acceptance and tolerance. You think you can fake Love? For a while, you might think you can. But sadly, you can't fake the packages that come with it. When that finally happens to you. you know what I mean. That if you don't have that feeling, no freaking way you can live through it without suffering or holding your breath. 

You want my conclusion? I conclude that - maybe it's true that Nobody can ever forces Love on you, just like you can't force love on anybody else. So even when you are together for so long, there's No Guarantee. Look at the divorced couples who are now married with someone new. Imagine if they force to be together when Love is not there anymore, what kind of life would that be? It's bitter to swallow that sometimes we want things to go our way, but These few items are not For Sale.Whether you have it, or you don't. If you don't have it yet, you have to patiently wait for your heart to open. It will open one day, and it might not be there forever. Treasure it when it's still there. If we understand this concept, we will know that there's not really about right or wrong, good or bad, this or that, It Is about having the gift yet, Or not. Or maybe you can try prayers to heal your hardened heart before you can receive this gift again...:))

Friday, July 18, 2014

Another Shocking News - MH17

Note: Those who are my Fb friends know that I am constantly posting my daily thoughts on Fb while I'm slow at posting to my blog. Maybe I should screen capture more often just to be fair.

From a Cupcake point of View

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

The Intention Is Noble, But Not Noble Enuff Unless...

Looking at these celebrities organizing Majlis Iftar involving anak2 yatim; with a lot of publicity, and some of them doing charity with no part of it missing in the photos shared with public, I guess the haters will have a topic to say about this. But don't you agree that no matter how not-so-sincere they make it look, still the needy got the help for real. So some people realize that it doesn't really matter, cos that help will mean a lott the less fortunate. 

Note: It reminds me back then during mass, my friend always gave more during Offering. But she was mumbling when she took out the money from her wallet, but she never failed to give more than what the rest gave, (cos she was a rich kid). I thought that it's alright, cos if a good intention stays in the heart without action, it won't make a difference. It's the act of doing it, seeing something is done, that will make a difference. Credit still goes to them, at least they do something, right...:))

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

A Thought For The Day

I really don't get it why some party took all the time and trouble in the world to confiscate holy books from other religions, and went extra mile to just make sure that the books will not be returned back, thinking that it will someday jeopardize the faith of their believers and confuse them. I mean, garsh, you can do that. Same with the usage of certain word to represent God, which is just a matter of language.

I imagine if that same amount of time and effort used on things that can benefit you and your family, used to fulfill your other responsibilities that the needy will find useful for their welfare, or even, simply just personally improve how you perform your daily religious practice which are easier, simpler and surer way to gain pahala, which I am not very sure if they have enough time for those anymore if they are busy getting their nose in other people's religions, very very unnecessary thing to do.

Do they assume that the youngsters will spend time reading holy books from other religions, when most of them may not even have time to read their text books, let alone getting influenced or confused by it. I realllyyy reallly don't get ittt. Life's short, peeps. That time is so valuable. Stop complicate things, and stop taking delight putting people in trouble. There are better things to do bah. *shake head.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Understanding Things You Once Didn't

Hi my dear readers. Do you believe when I say I have so many things to write but I just couldn't find the right "ambiance" to write them? So here I am again. I feel that I miss so many good topics but lets just go with the flow with this one.

Actually, there are a lot of reflections that took place in my mind recently. Did I tell you guys about this older lady who came to my place by chance, and I found out she was one of those who receive special ability from God. Okay, skip all the skepticism. I first found this lady 2 years ago, and only 2 weeks ago she came back to my place. It's from talking to her that I start to open my mind about new things about life, through faith in God. I can't help but think that she is some kind of a blessing. For a person who has a lot of questions in her head, don't you think I need someone who has a lot of answers? So far, I can say, she could be that person. Lets make a summary to the whole thing.

It's from her that I begin to think that, I should stop eating meat on Fridays again. I used to do it before, but stopped for a long time, after I began to not seeing how it can add up to my faith in God, etc. I also read that it's only compulsary for abstinent or fasting on meat on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. The lady didn't particularly tell me anything about eating meat on Fridays, but then my instinct tells me that I SHOULD not. She told me the reason how she got the "ability to see things during her prayers" is because SHE PRAYS. Everyday she must pray 3 prayers; 1. Rosary, 2. Divine Mercy, 3. Seven Sorrows. And these big prayers have their own promises and she BELIEVES that she will get those rewards from her faith. She's been doing the daily prayers for years before she finally received the ability. She did mention that praying is not enough. Prayers must not be on the lips alone, but you must also be "The Doer Of The Word" (Pelaku Firman). So not just refraining from making sins, we must also SACRIFICE, or be willing to go through suffering in order to be following Him. Ah, you must think this is ridiculous. But when she mentions about how Jesus died on the cross for us, for our sins, then you know what she means by that. We also have our on CROSS in lives. CROSS is the suffering or difficulties in life that we have to carry on our shoulder. So the question is, will you carry the cross, with your faith in God still standing strong? Or will we give up on Him, thinking that He has abandoned us? All those things. Then this starts a lot of reflections that took place recently. So back to eating meat on Fridays, now you get what I mean? What do I do for God, daily? Do I pray day and night? I only pray every morning. The rest of the "talking" with God is not a proper prayer. In fact, I slip my praying times while I do things so I can do two things at once. Why is it so hard to even have a special time just for God? Knowing that I have not done much, I want to improve. Not eating meat on last Friday was a little struggle too, cos they were more meat options to cook than fish. Especially when I cook for other people too, I need to make them like the no-meat day from the dish that I cook. So that's the challenge. I did it last friday, but next friday, I must explain them why we SHOULD TRY to not eat meat on that day, because we are capable of so many things in life, and why not we sometimes do things with God as our intention. Let's try it!! It's so little compared to the things we ask Him daily, and He always listens. I guess God must feel so delighted to see that we might be a bunch of lost sheep who tried something to come home. You get what I mean.

And also, when I thought of some suffering that I went through, no matter through betrayal or through frustration, I suddenly give them "A NOD". I did not hate them that much anymore. I stop questioning God repeatedly WHY He let bad things happen to me despite asking for His blessings everyday. I know that the devil does his work everytime by reminding me "TO DOUBT" in God's love for me from all the past pain which wound still there. But suddenly I feel so relieved that those things happened to me cos I went through them and still my faith in God is unshaken. In fact, it's God that brings me up again. The more I ask for guidance, the more I realize that WHAT I WANT MIGHT LEAD ME THE WRONG WAY and thats why He has to let my heart break so I can fix that. These blessings in disguise, I KNEW IT :))

Lets unfold more things in the next post. Stay put, you guys. God bless. *winks

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Your Hands Are The Gold Mine!!

Remember how many times that you delayed some of the important things to run, just because you rely on some other people to do it? That you have to follow their times to get things done. And worse is, other tasks have to wait too. And when finally someone does it, sometimes it's not working and you still have to fork your money despite your dissatisfaction. Remember such experiences?

I have issues with my hair today. Suddenly I want it cut so badly. But I remember the experiences that I had before with the salon. One experience of hairstylist who took only 5 minutes, not making any changes to my hair, and when I started to complain, she raised her voice saying that it looked good enough so no need to cut more. Garsh, she knew what I wanted more than I did? If I said I wanted to go bald, that's my hair, that's my head and I pay for it. She has no freaking right to argue about what I want since I pay for it, right? It was a bitter experience because I decided to just pay and walk out since the chinese lady was much older. The other time, another Mrs-Know-All because when I told her I wanted to keep my hair long, but just to give some style to it, she didn't care. She cut all she wants, from waist to shoulder length, and told me if she cut just a bit, it won't show so she just cut away heartlessly without taking into account my request "to keep my hair long". I lost my long hair just like that and paid her for doing that. Can you imagine my frustration on my hair alone? So that's why I trust less people to deal with my hair. So after a bit of thinking, I decided to just go ahead cut my hair myself. Considering that long hair is easy to cut since it's  more accessible to different angles, so I just followed some tutorial about styling my own hair. Viola! It's done! I might not do it like a pro barber but This is my Hair, and I know how much my hair means to me, and whatever that I do with my hair, it's after that consideration. And those are My Hands who cut it. Whatever mistake that I might do, at least it was done performed by some stranger who thinks they know better.

I remember that My Two Precious Hands have done so many good things in my life. I am the type who hold the toolbox, the hammer, the nail, the screwdriver; things that only men do. I do that simple toolboxing work because I can't help to rely on others too much because I can't follow their time. So, as a result, I learned another and another skill to Do-It-Myself and thats why I become quite independent. That's just the extra. Not to mention what my hands do in my job. My two little hands. All the compliments that I get from my customers, it's My Two Little Hands that did the jobs. So now you tell me, don't you realize that you have A Gold Mine attached to your body? You can do ALOT with it. If you use it well, you can make a fortune. Dont you know that, and feel grateful that you have these hands?

That's why, never underestimate yourself because skills can be learned. But not everyone who have hands, use them so well. They dont know that they can rely less on people. They don't know that they can even make wonders with their hands. Do great things and all the possible things. One should never complain that they are helpless when they are jobless. Those hands are your Gold Mine, people!! Start getting golds from using them and you know, these are among the most useful gifts made with our body. Thank God for these two hands! And help us to use them well, to do good things, to help us improve our lives and possibly make a difference! Thank you, Lord! Alleluia!

Monday, May 5, 2014

My Imperfections And Beyond...

You, Me, Them, Everyone - None of us are perfect. Why are we so bothered by it, anyway? One time in this life, we be the judge of others. It's fun doing it right? It's fun to be putting marks from head to toe, marking what's quite not right, and what's totally wrong. Yeah, some of us done that too often. And that's why, we are bound to get a good evaluation from others too. In fact, some of us are spending our lifetime to just be good in others eyes for the sake of that "evaluation of perfection". To those who are still trapped in this, what do you guys feel?

I gradually find comforts in my imperfections. Why? Because, one, No matter what I do, I can never be perfect to my own eyes, or to anybody's eyes, cos I'm just human, and humans are not created to be perfect. We are sinners. We sin, we break rules, we are full of weaknesses. No matter how kind can you be or how sympathetic or charitable you are - yes, you are still imperfect. That's the fact. Do we forget that?

I start to love my imperfections not because I try to live in denials, but because I don't see my imperfections as "abnormality" since everyone has them, remember? So the difference now is that, I learn how to be make peace with them, to be more comfortable with them, and walk with them without much shame. Because what I am born with or I am born as, they are the list of blessings God gave to me. I am thankful for so many million things. I have my hands and legs. I am healthy. I have my wonderful family. I have a good shelter to come home to. I have a job I love doing. Oh man. That and so many more things! All the details of things can't simply ruin my blessings. I may have my shortcomings. My short temper. My talkativeness. Many others. I don't say I'm proud of them cos I'm not but I realize that some of the things in my blood, are not really meant to be gone from  my life. My challenge is to put them under control, and to not let them spoil my relationship with people, and I have to watch my weaknesses very closely so they don't get the better of me. Why, do I expect my life will be completely off struggles eventually? No. NO. These struggles of imperfections will always be there along the way. That's why we need to keep in touch with our values; something not easy to do but DO-ABLE. That and many more, I don't need to elaborate. You should know. 

I've been there in the stage of life where I liked to impress, I liked to show the good sides of me only so I could get compliments, so I could get flattered to smile about, but then, I guess I'm done with that. I want to do something else. Every morning I wake up, and say my thankfulness to God for this gift of LIFE. I am just so extremely thankful to be alive. I MEAN IT. Maybe because my thankfulness has switched to something more "Real" than ever. Then I start to love everything about my life. Even my weaknesses. My imperfections are like "AN ART" of God's wisdom, to just give each of us something to struggle with. And I accepted that. I AM DONE trying to bother about their evaluations. Cos I realize that when I'm happy, others have no freaking idea how happy I am or what is it that makes me happy. Same with when I'm sad. Nothing that they can do to understand, let alone to sooth me or make me feel better. I decide that I just know SO MUCH about this life of mine. Much much more than anyone who are busy judging me. So when I decided to just "Be This Way", it's when the FUN begins. You can sit down and enjoy the show of how many fake people can't stand to be there. They like the version of you who only pleases them. They love it when you put yourself in suffering just so you can make them feel good being around you, and all that stuff. Don't you want to try and SEE, who are there FOR REAL? 

Nowadays, given this (limited) maturity and wisdom, I love to watch how people judge me and how they deal with their judgment. I remember when a senior came to me and told me that she thought my hair was too messy and long and I should change it to this and that, I felt offended a bit. But then come again now and say what you think, it won't bother me a bit. What I know is I love this God-given hair that I have. If you don't like it, it's not my hair's fault. There are a lot of people who are struggling with hair loss, and me who have this thick hair, have to listen to some people who are bothered by it, when I should 100 times be thankful that I even have hair, when some people are spending money just to grow theirs. It's the same with other things. I am so thankful that when I am able to see it this way, I also can be more acceptable to other people's imperfections. Although I don't always deal with them positively, but I know it's better to avoid judging people and leave them alone, rather than punishing and blaming them for being what God created them to be. You don't live on their skin to know exactly who they are, and what they have gone through. You are NOBODY to judge people like you know them forever. 

Who cares if people don't think you are smart enough, you are pretty enough, you are attractive enough, cos the fact is that, you won't get all thumbs in everything. I can freaking assure you that there's NOTHING that you can do to make everyone approves everything about you. No freaking way. SO stop wasting your time. This is the time when you claim honesty, sincerity; from people - this is the only way you gonna get them! Cos people who you have to impress for them to be around you, are NOT WORTH IT. Expect to regret a fake affection which you got from faking attraction. Just move easily with the "package" that you come with, and look at your mom, your dad, your sisters, your brothers, they love you no matter what. These people can name many things you lack, but their love are not conditional to that. You see, these people do exist. The millions people out there can disagree with them, but you don't live with this people. You don't know these people. These people don't know you. They are also bothered by too much imperfections with themselves and their own lives. 

PLEASE MAKE PEACE WITH YOURS. Once you can do this, consider that this is the best gift of reality. Do not worry, my dear friends. At the end of the day, You Will Never Be Good Enough To Those Who Don't Love You, and to those who love you, there's nothing that you can do that will simply change that. Do Not Worry. Be Yourself, and Be Loved For The Right Reasons...:))

God Bless!!

Friday, April 18, 2014

Money Rolling System: A Fantasy Profit?

There are a lot of money rolling schemes organized by Fb people. My sis in law joined a few, and when she described it at first, you invest RM500, you get RM900 in two weeks. Sounds tempting. Another one is even more. Invest RM 1,500 and you get RM3,000 in 5 days. They asked me to join because they wanted their families to get some profit too. Then I asked my sis in law, how do they multiply the money? Nobody can answer me. What they know, they can't resist getting their money multiplied in a short time, as promised by the schemes. They did mention that this doesn't involve any investment outside the group, it's just plainly money rolling from the members. That got me even skeptical. If they tell me they have somekind of investment outside, maybe they could get fresh money pumped in. But since no, How? A will get B + C's money, B will get D + E's money and so on, but each time, Admin will pose a certain Admin fee. Lets say, who invest RM500, should get RM1000 but only get RM900 because the RM100 is the admin fee. So the equation is no longer valid, because 

The money in the cycle is not anymore in the same value because the admin will take out bit by bit of the rolling money.

This is the simplest form of understanding and nobody wants to think about it. When people stop investing, the payment will stop too. The members will blame the admin. The admin thinks he's innocent, it's the members' fault for not investing back. Those who got their money are normal people too. They will need to use the money so u can't expect people to only care about your money rolling scheme when they have real stuff to care about, kids, family, car, house etc. So, I just finished reading a big quarrel of a money rolling group where I was dragged in but I never involved myself - the language they use, hurt one another. The admin defends herself, the others want their money back, the rest just become the peacemakers. Many claimed to still have capital of RM3K-RM4 stuck in the group. Do they know why? Can't they foresee it?

Answer is simple. This scheme is not realistic to begin with. One shouldn't even start it. Those people with hard-earned money, u guys shouldn't join this at all. Small money is okay, rather than lose that small money and have none at all. Cos the so-called "help each other responsibility" basis, since when it is so easy to put people in a system led by virtue? Especially when it involves Money, the chief of all evil. So I feel pity to those who think they start a group with a good intention, and then those who hope that they can change their lifestyle from this scheme.  Someone like me won't simply join a group like this because I saw it with my own eyes, there's no such thing as easy money, I know how hard it is to earn money and I don't expect to ridicule it by making expectation that what I earn in months I can simply get by this kind of method. So, in the end, how to solve it so that everyone will leave in peace when the group stops working? The admin should know, the real responsibility of starting a fire is you don't just scream for help and disappear in the jungle. The Admin has to PAY BACK all the capital the remaining members have, and that's the admin fees all about. I bet they can get thousands of ringgit when the group just started. Sorry, but thats the only way. Pay everyone their money without dividend and close the group with the consent of everyone, and admit that this system is a failure to begin with and nothing would ever work with it as fair as they claimed. Don't forget to bring with them a lifetime lesson.

Go work your butt off and earn the money with your sweat, stop hallucinating that getting rich is a simple "money rolling" business cos it obviously is not!! Get real people!!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Why Pick One When You Can Have More?

This is what happened to me today. I must say that I am not the luckiest person in the world in terms on fortune. But then for someone who has "my kind" of ego, maybe it keeps me on the ground. Too often that I find myself in a situation that I don't have much, to even rightfully boast about anything. So today when all opportunities come to me at once, I asked myself, Is this for real? So the usual case is that, I could only pick one that's the closest my hands can reach, and just be happy with it while letting the rest go. 

Today is different. After some very serious prayers, I saw that I have the option to have them all. Which I could not see it if I don't use my wisdom well. But luckily, I managed to decide on time. I thought that by getting all these good businesses lately, I almost make that as an excuse not to attend Palm Sunday, when I could use that quality time at the church, to pray and say thankfulness to God. Why would I use God's grace to spend less time with him? I didn't even do so well with my Lent season so far, I should feel the need to really honour the Holy Week to make up for all that. 

So today,  I managed to attend Palm Sunday with a grateful heart, without losing my business opportunities. Maybe I just got used to too much mind torturing that I could not believe that I could pull it through. Maybe because of all my shortcomings that I am not happy about, I tend to look down at myself. Luckily I keep my "eyes for God" awake. It's that which doesn't keep me drifted away too far from what's proper. 

But this post is to tell you guys One Thing. That GOD does answer prayers. No No, I know you know but you gonna forget that again just like me, so let me remind ourselves once again that really, GOD does have so much mercy for us, even when we think we are the most undeserving creature we know. It's not me that makes me deserve that, but it's God that answered my prayers and pour His mercy on me. He knows how important it is for me, and suddenly I realize that this is how He often "bailed me out" of every tough situations. Most of the times He didn't give me what I want, but He sent help in different way, to make the situation bearable for me. In the end I just know it's His work.

So when you are given so many opportunities, like answered prayers that come at once, maybe God doesn't mean that you need to choose one, but He wants to see how badly you want them. Would you come up with a solution that makes you win, and He wins too? Maybe that's what He wants. I think I do the right thing today by acknowledging that the good things that happen to me recently, none of them are my own work. It's HIS. So I should spend time for Him, and don't worry so much about missing anything, since it's also from Him that all those come from. 

Thank You Lord, Thank You :)

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

They Say Being Holy Doesn't Make You A Good Person

So does that mean it's okay to just never go miss weekly masses so we can oversleep from too much fun activities from the night before? Does it mean that it's okay to never sacrifice even a bit of time for God so we can have time to attend to all our activities? Is it okay to never feel guilty to go by with our days without the thought of God in our head, until we face difficulties?

My first impression when I read the sentence in the topic is, I wonder if people make that excuse to just ignore their obligation as a follower of a religion. But then, actually the sentence is very true. Because a lot of people use their religious obligations as "a payback" for not doing good things outside the church. Some of them might think that this can justify or make up for the not-so-good things that they have done. It's like, it's okay to be bad, cos I'll ask for forgiveness when I go to church this Sunday.

So what makes someone a good person? My mom was a Pagan before until she reached certain age. In fact, when all of us have grown up. I often asked myself that time, Does being a no-religion person, makes my mom a bad person? My logic mind tells me, No way.  After all the good things we learn from school, and the idea of what the religion asks us to do, No way that God will hate someone kind just because she doesn't have a certain religion. So that time, my mom never followed any of our religious activities, and she didn't know how to pray, and who to pray to. Until she was baptized, and attended classes, she slowly learned. Now, she's even more religious than us. Her way of treating her religion, reminds me of how a kid should be when he first attends school. He will listen to what the teacher say, he will follow all rules and what he wants is to be a good boy, because that's what the parents tell him. I'm happy for her development. She even reminded us to kneel when we pray before the mass begins, and say prayer before meal - things that we learnt much earlier than she did. Just that, most of turn into rule-breakers when we are through with that school-kid level. Some of us just find our own ways to do things. Maybe we think that we don't necessary have to kneel when praying, cos we want to just sit and "have a talk" with God without having to endure knee pain from too much kneeling. Or we rather say our thankfulness short and simple, without having to necessary do the Sign of Cross, which will let others know that we are praying. At my level now, I must admit that I do get a bit "too used" to rules of how-people-usually-do-it. I rather not follow too much of it cos some of them, I just fail to relate or connect. I want to be sincere in what I do. I don't want to fake-faith tho I can lie to people, but never to God. So again, back to the topic. What makes someone a good person?

When the person speaks good words? When someone helps others in need? When someone put others first before himself? I guess you know the answer. A good person is someone who does good things to others. As simple as that. I don't want to make any conclusion. I just want to say that, for someone who believes in God, who has a religion, who knows what religion is, who admits to others that I belong to this certain religion;- maybe that sentence is not applicable to me. Cos my faith is already part of my "good world". Other than my own conscience, my faith helps be to be in the right track. If I leave it, how good can I be? :)

Sunday, March 23, 2014

My Emotional Thoughts For You, MH370

I woke up on a Saturday, 2 weeks ago, hearing about a missing plane, I was like, "Seriously?" We don't hear this kind of news often. In fact, just once in my lifetime so far. A plane involving Malaysia Airlines System. Our very own airline company. A big name since as long as I can remember. So on that same morning, before I could get deeper into the emotion of "disbelief", I read in the Fb comments about the plane landed safely in Nanning, China. I remember breathing out a breath of relief, THANK GOD!!! But it was short-lived when it was declared a hoax. One hoax news after another. Now for 14 days still in the dark about the whereabouts of MH370. We all know that everyone is grieving. Everyone is crying out, Please come home, MH370!!

Since day one, I keep myself glued to the news feed as long as I am awake. I remember getting "resistance syndrome" to my handphone screen from looking at it for too long. I felt like vomiting. I guess the emotion and curiosity add up to the stress. Day by day. I come to my workplace, I turn on the tv just to hear any talks about MH370. Yes, I follow quite closely about anything related to it. Everytime Wanita Hari Ini plays that sad poem about MH370, my eyes become. If you ask me, this is a very emotional thing for me. I understand that 239 people inside there, they have a lot of people who love them. If I can feel this way, imagine their family members! It's unbearable to even imagine it!

I am just like any of you, trying to come up with my own theory, what could have happened to the plane. From all the details collected, the assumptions are neverending. And this will continue so until they have discovered the plane. At one time, I just thought that, ENOUGH!! Please MH370, can you just come home? Can I just wake up one morning and saw the news that you have just landed KLIA an hour or two ago, with everyone's safe and sound? And the whole day would be tears of joy on the news everyday. And of course, the big thankfulness to the Lord above who makes it possible. IF ONLY... If Only...

This matter is in my mind all the time. I even dreamt it for it a few times already. But my dreams were not clear. They were clustered with my too much concern on their safety. What I know, I woke up from the dream feeling positive, "Did they actually find the plane?" Oh, Not Yet. Day by day...imagine that. 

I don't have to list all the speculations - but as much as I think that the Hijack theory sounds a better one when it comes to the possibility of survival, I would not mind to pick that. But then when they start to point fingers at the pilot(s), I don't feel good about it. But yes, at one point, I admit that I wanted so much to blame the pilots cos they were the ones who drive the plane. It's just so easy to blame them, right? But enough with speculations. We need THE TRUTH. 

Then I came across a theory which I think is very logic and realistic too. It's about how the plane was caught on fire and that failed all types of communication, and it changed direction to land at Pulau Langkawi's airport, but something bad happened before they managed to do that, so the plane ran on autopilot, and until it ran out of fuel, it went down to the sea. As much as I think this theory is simpler, and logical, it breaks my heart so hard. The survival of the 239 is EVERYTHING. 100 of planes like that can just go missing but PLEASE, we don't want any lives to go. They went to that plane with a destination, with a lot of plans, and dreams, and NO, we can't accept that they lose life in the middle of all that.

I know that everyone has been praying so hard. I do include in my little prayer, Oh Lord, please save the people in MH370. I'm sure others' voice are louder than mine. I know that God is in control. I know that when we ask for their safe return, WE MEAN IT. We really mean it! I might be whispering, but He who created me, and everyone on this Earth, can even hear my heart speak, and the sound of my every thought. Sometimes I just don't get strong enough with my voice, cos I know God knows how big our hope is. I know He Is Able. The question now is, is our will His? I'm just wondering if He would grant this one prayer of ours. Not that He could not. But we know that sometimes God wants it differently. We just don't know what He wants this time. This wait is agonizing. Trying to figure out what God wants to be the end for this MH370 mystery. Yes, He listens to prayers. Not even once that I doubt it. I'm just curious if we did so many wrong things that made Him do this. But isn't it good, that we have God? Imagine those who don't believe, it's just plainly sadness, and waiting in agony. They won't get that kind of peace that only can come from Faith in God.

God, I don't know if I say another prayer, would you send us a miracle? You don't need to prove your power God, we already know about it. But we need this miracle, God. And I'm sure, with this miracle, you will open a lot of eyes of the disbelievers. This will mean a lot to the blind hearts, who are among the hopefuls too. Difference is, they don't believe in miracles, but we do. Please God, Please. Please heal our pain on MH370. You will not disappoint us Lord. You will not. I fully believe in you :)

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Cooking With Love...

I still remember years ago when I got attacked by this extraordinary stomach pain, which I could not get any night sleep for almost 2 weeks. I asked my dad to pick me up from the hostel in the dark morning. I could see the look on his face especially. He even went to the chapel the day after, which we could guess, to pray for my recovery. I could never understand how they feel that time. But now I think I understand. 

Last nite, my dad got sick. His sore throat got worse after Ash Wednesday mass last night. Today on our way home from work, my sister told me my dad's sickness is kinda bad, unlike the usual. He did go to the clinic with my brother earlier today. I suddenly became too concerned and worried. I wanted to go home quickly to check on my dad's condition. I went quick to the supermarket and bought some foods, including instant lemon tea, which I know is good for sore throat. My dad is one very unselfish man. So unless he's really in very bad condition, he won't ask for your favour. I came home and saw my dad sleeping at the living room. He realized that I just arrived, and I asked him if he wanted some porridge. He said No. Told you. He won't make a request that he thought might burden you. That's my dad. But I didn't care, I just straight ahead and cooked porridge really fast without him knowing. My parents used to think that my kind of cooking is only for the guests, or whoever that come to visit, or during celebration. Not for normal days like today. 

As I was preparing on cooking the porridge, my eyes became teary when I remember when I was sick before, it was my two parents who were preparing the porridge. Maybe their hearts were heavy too, thinking about my condition that time. So I found myself in their place now, making the porridge with A Great Hope and I don't know why, that time I thought that the porridge I was preparing was Really Gonna Heal him. I prepared it with the thoughts that all the nutrition he needs would be in the porridge. So I made sure I cooked the way I cooked for some special visitors or guests in our house. I did it all in half an hour. I made hot lemon tea, and squeezed some lemon into it to add to the acidic effect. That is what will react to the virus on the throat. I know this for sure cos this is my most common disease. I have learnt all the self defense possible against it. So I put it on the table and asked my dad to drink the lemon tea, and he did. After he drank it, he could clear his throat and talked a bit. I knew it worked. So after that, I kept asking him to eat the porridge, though he said he was not hungry. But he just couldn't resist my request. He took some of the porridge and ate it. I knew it by the time he ate it, it would heal him. Or at least make his sickness ease up. In the meantime, I wanted my dad to not think that his sickness is that bad. I kept telling them how I was healed from a serious sore throat before. How I thought my throat was wounded, but nope. It was just the sickness that made it feel so bad. And how I ate a few kinds of medicine for 2 weeks, and none worked. Until I ate this Breacol, bought from the pharmacy, and only my throat started to heal. Guess what? It was my dad who bought the Breacol for me. He forgot that he was behind my recovery a lot of time when I got sick. I thought that Breacol was just an ordinary medicine, but when a caring and responsible dad who bought it for his kid to heal, it made the medicine more effective. I don't know. Lets just assume that kind of magic exist. 

Because of all the cares, all the appreciation and faith, that's how I could almost feel it was more than just food and drink that I prepared for him. Plus, all my prayer for their health, and protection from God, I did not doubt that God is answering to my every prayer, especially when I say it everyday. If I can love my family that much, God must love them more. And so He will heal my dad. Maybe that's what they call Cooking With Love. It's foods that you prepare not just to bite or to fill the stomach, but also you pour all your thoughts of love as you prepare them. Cook for their happiness and wellbeing of the people who eat them. These are the additional ingredients that will make the food work wonders, and taste better too!

So guys, next time you know what to do. Get in the kitchen, and prepare a "magic potion". When it comes to your loved ones, you certainly have the ability! Stay healthy everyone! :))  

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Happy Points

At this point of living, we tend to compare ourselves with others. Especially when it comes to personal life and achievements. It's normal when you hear someone speaks of "how bad" they feel when they see their peers seemingly have better lives compared to them. Especially in this era of social network, where most people use it to share what's happening in their lives; mostly about the good and happy things. So the older we get, the higher expectation people have of us and the easier that we see what's lacking and feel insufficient. So, is this how we should do it, at this point of living?

This is my opinion. Our mind is such a Trick Master. You can make it work for you, or against you. Our mind will do its work as long as we are alive. So if you fail to emphasize "what really counts" then you'll be spending your life getting busy over "what doesn't count". You know what counts? You and your happiness. Fullstop. If you bother about what's outside this, you are wasting your time dudes! Of course there will be attempts to disturb your peace. There will be attempts to make you try to adapt the thinking of others, and wondering why your life doesn't turn the way their lives do. And you start to feel down, why you don't have what they have. This is - clearly very wrong. I tell you why.

Acknowledge that your have your strong points. I can guarantee this. As long as you can feel the jolt of joy at any time of your days, that means something is going on right. Remember what you feel when you are engaging in some fun activities at work, or at home, and who do you like to spend your time with. You know you come this far in your life, locating the Happy Points in your life, and you have found them. You already know what makes you happy. So in full gratitude, you definitely cannot let anything tell you otherwise. Cos None of those outside your body knows better than YOU! How can you let someone who you never met in years, come to you and deny your Happy Points just because her Happy Points are not the same as yours? Who can tell you whose Happy Points are more correct than the others when this is Not about being correct, this is about true moments of experiencing purest joy that you don't need others to know and understand before you can experience them.So cut the crap, guys. Stop feeling bad!! If you Believe that you are a unique wonderful creation of God, you'll never waste another minute feeling sorry for being alive. In fact, it's the first thing that you are thankful for every morning after you wake up. 

Understand one thing that just because your life is not going at the same direction, it doesn't mean yours are less good. Not at all! If you are still lost in this kind of thoughts, you're wasting your seconds away. You should stand firm that your life is defined by Your happiness, and you don't have to explain to anyone. And lets say you do have to explain, the only way you should do it is with Pride. Pride because you are given such a miraculous chance to live a miraculous gift of life, something that are denied to a lot of people, something that a lot of people have to struggle for, something that a lot of people are on the verge of losing, and Look at you. You go by with your days alive and healthy, you have your smile and laugh, good and fun times with your loved ones - oh good Lord, you are having one kind of fine life, my dear! Please enjoy this life, enjoy it to the max, to the fullest and don't slow down at all. You want to maximize? I tell you. Have Gratitude in all the pleasant things! May you live well, and wish well for each other too. Alleluia!  

Sunday, February 16, 2014

"All Or Nothing"

I found this poem on Valentine's Day morning, and decided it's a perfect poem to describe what I want to say, but could not find the simple words to put them in.

I'm sure all of us have the experiences of having a few people who loved us, but for all the wrong reasons. As a matter of fact, some of them really misused the word Love to describe their "anything but Not Love". So I'm sure, you will also like this poem so much. 

We want to be loved for a good reason. You will appreciate if people find you smart, witty, attractive etc but they forget that you will especially like it if they make the effort to Love you more than just your good qualities. Love you more than just the good times, or the good feelings that you can give them. You want them to sincerely care, and not just merely superficial. You want them to accept you as a human being, and not an idol who is without defects. You want them to understand that it's as much as you expect from them, you are willing to do the same to them. So I guess, this is a good poem for you to dedicate to all the people who Have Love You Wrongly.

Cos as much as it gives you a good feeling that lasted for a while, you don't just want it to be just that long. You want it to be longer than that. Then you know, at one time, you are almost sure that if you knew it won't last so long, you would rather not have started it. A relationship not based of unconditional love, Can't Survive. And the battle doesn't just end there. Marriage is where the reality will finally show its true colours. So if you got rid of these people, you should be thankful instead. Provided that you've been praying for your relationship, God is saving you from the worst that could have taken place. Raise your hand in thanksgiving. God has something better for you. Have faith. *winks

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Humans & Devastation

Do you guys notice that it's a good day until you start to ruin it. If you look around you, things are still the same but you can be boiling in your own hot oil and the next thing, you are officially devastated. Sometimes you can't even explain how it happens, how it starts. 

Why do humans have to be so fragile? Why do we let ourselves be that fragile? Why even simple words which are not even given much thoughts by those who speak them, cause us pain. Sounds familiar? And there goes another magnificent day. You ruin it just like that.

Sometimes when something like this happens, you try all you can to knock senses into you.You try to pinch yourself, "hey hey come on dudeee...why are you acting this way?" Something is just not right about this. You can't blame the system. You can't blame the biology, or chemistry, or physics. You just can't. It's your own doing. All yours.

It doesn't matter if we can't explain what it is. But why do we allow it? Repeatedly that we take the knife and stab it right to the heart, and start moaning in agony. Do we actually enjoy this? Ah, much riddles again.  

So humans. I believe that we can do better than this. I believe that instead of just holding the remote control, we can actually start really doing the button pressing out of our own will. Not others'. Promise to do better. And do not allow yourself to be devastated for all the stupid reasons out there. You are a miracle. You are far greater than this. You must celebrate your greatness, and the magical life you are allow to have. Ah. Thank you God. You are just...beyond words. Lets us not forget your presence. And the reason why there are just two footprints during our difficult times, it's because you are lifting us. Thank you again. Amen. 


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