tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36123364836777421282024-02-24T10:03:56.354+08:00My ConScIeNcEWhen thoughts become words...Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.comBlogger1278125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-23620568624325365602024-02-03T22:18:00.000+08:002024-02-03T22:18:13.502+08:00"You Know Nothing"<p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://w0.peakpx.com/wallpaper/979/273/HD-wallpaper-mask-girl-beauty-model-mystery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="711" data-original-width="800" height="284" src="https://w0.peakpx.com/wallpaper/979/273/HD-wallpaper-mask-girl-beauty-model-mystery.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Source: Google images</span></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">This customer of mine working at a restaurant nearby. She came to my workplace many times to buy things. I also recognized her for her cheerful ways, and I liked doing things for her because she was easy to deal with. Our brief encounters usually filled with laughters. Everytime I come to the restaurant to dine, usually she would greet me with smile. One recent day, I came and saw her. She served me as usual. But as I saw her making drinks, she was holding her tears. It was a view I never expected to see. I did hear some voice-raising earlier, but I thought it was how they normally talk. So I assumed the it was between her and her mom exchanging words in their dialect that I could not understand. Her mom is also one of the workers there. So I looked at her again, she was trying hard to hold her tears. I felt a bit sad cos I know her as the cheerful girl. Then I realize something...</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">What makes me think I know about this girl because of the 5 minutes encounters that we usually have? Even if I sat there with her and chit chat for lets say 30 minutes, there is still some 23 hours and 30 minutes that I totally have no idea about what's going on with her life.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">My point is, it goes the same way with everyone we meet briefly. We could see some people everyday, we pass them by, we even greet them and exchange smile, still we practically KNOW NOTHING about them. They could be having a heartbreak, they could be a victim of bully at their workplace, they could have a abusive partner or maybe they are the one who is abusive, so many things that they have to deal with that WE KNOW NOTHING about.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But remember when we have a less favourable encounter with people, we simply conclude that they are just born irritating and lack of manners or maybe we end up feeling bad with ourselves when we expect a better treatment from people and we begin to blame ourselves for being undeserving. Well, if only we consider that we are just a small part from these people's day, we are not even considered in the top 5 matters that bother them the most. Yet sometimes we let those brief encounter ruin our day. Yes you get what I mean. In most cases, how people behave is really ISN'T ABOUT YOU. We don't know about their history, their grief, their traumas, their phobias and so many other things that may not cross our mind at all, cos everyone, including you and me, we meet new people at one stage our of lives and in most cases, we don't have to know everything. Enuff if we can be nice and leave a good memory. But if NOT, please always consider the things that WE DON'T KNOW about them besides our short meeting. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's the same with us, right? Just like when I just let people think what they like without explaining myself. Just like Why I choose my job. I have people talking behind me, judging me for years, why I choose a job like this when I can be more. They could be talking about how I wasted my qualification, so on and so forth. But little did they know I went through a tough time and it took me years before I made the decision, and all the things I took into considerations. Most importantly, people don't understand HOW I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE. They may want things differently, but I have long accepted that I'm done with society standard. And I have my clear reasons. I don't wear them on my forehead. That's why, I can say the same that you guys practically KNOW NOTHING about me.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">My point here is, each of us have our story of struggles. We don't just born and become this person today. We have wounds, marks, and bruises all over our soul. Maybe if we accept that we Know Nothing, we will treat each other with a little more heart and we will appreciate those smiles even more, and we will judge less because that person that we about to punish is just coping with a emotional war that we know nothing about. Just don't make it harder for each other. Appreciate every person that we come across, respect them knowing that they are trying to survive storms everyday, just like us. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-51825730309868852292023-12-31T22:03:00.007+08:002023-12-31T22:11:00.817+08:002023, Thank You<p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://mljdtq5dsmwz.i.optimole.com/w:1024/h:615/q:mauto/f:best/https://lelaurier.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Bye-Bye-2023-4.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="800" height="240" src="https://mljdtq5dsmwz.i.optimole.com/w:1024/h:615/q:mauto/f:best/https://lelaurier.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Bye-Bye-2023-4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Source by Google Images</span></div><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">31st December 2023, finally here we are again. Again, I'll just let my fingers dance without having anything particular in mind about what to write. But I Must. I don't want this year to leave without a proper speech from me.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Being this age in 2023, of course there are advantages compared to before. But I will hilite interesting stuff that is worthy to remember. There are expectations that are unmet but not all in my power. I left the rest to God and I assume that those expectations are best not to be met Yet. But something that I should mention, about my new workplace since last year, a very unfamiliar place and faces, but this year I learnt to adapt even more. In such a place with small space, I have proven that my passion surpassed the superficial cos as long as my passion grows, everything else will become adaptable. This is such a gift from heaven for me cos how I manage to enjoy work despite all the odds. Like, even that can't stop me. Fast forward to 4th of December when I was given the key, yes I moved again to a new place! I have to go into more details for the future me to read and remember.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">When the tenant next door a.k.a my workplace neighbour told me she was moving out to another lot, I didn't even have the idea that I would move. Cos I got comfortable with my less-than-2-years workplace, and of course the cost of moving out is not cheap. After a while, I think God used my friend to convince me that I should move out since that place is bigger. I did not say yes right away. I asked myself, "Am I crazy enuff to do this?" YES, YOU ARE, 256. LOLS. Fast forward to 31st December, the place is 95% ready. I went thru a lot of things with the processes. But this time I'm more hands-on, I got to decide many things hence the bigger challenges I have to overcome. But now I can start seeing the fruit of the labour for the almost 1 month. I decided that I'm happier now that it happened the way it is. Then I try to see myself in the older place, and compare them, I just shake my head in disbelief how I could not see all the disadvantages of the old place. Like it was almost pitiful seeing the small space and how I made a lot of magics happen in the small space. My o my. That proved that it's just the barrier that we put in our head. I'm so thankful to God that I managed to see brightness in the dullness and felt enuff with what seemed to be lacking by other people. I've been so blessed. So guys, I will begin the new year in the new place. I worked so hard to prepare the place for me to create more magics. And this event is one of the most important for me this year.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>After more than half a year this year, my closefriends witnessed my stubbornness when I did not write a single thing in our whatsapp group out of a little misunderstanding. But I did that to make myself clear. I'm not saying that I wasn't to be blamed, but I just couldn't force myself just so people can have their way. It's not how I wanted a friendship to be. But I also did not blame anyone. I chose to stay silent to avoid saying hurtful things. But I guess silence is a worse punishment to some. </span><span>I thanked my friends who still reached out to me but even after that, I still did not talk in the whatsapp group. The first day that I finally broke my silence was on my birthday when everyone wished me. And since then, I became very active again in the group. I mean, do you know what this means to me? From my angle, I see it as Maturity. Cos if you know my nature, I used to be a Grudger. How I could just iron out all the 7 months worth of silence and took it from there in peace and harmony. I believe that our friendship has matured from there. We did a reunion on 22nd of December and we were celebrating our friendship of many years. I have known these friends since matriculation and they are the batch of friends that know me best since they have lived with me in the same apartment for 9 months and my bestie was my roomate. They are among the best gifts of my life.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Other than that, I have also developed work friendships with more people. I like how I am this "hard-to-get-close-to" but still people make the effort to still acknowledge me as a positive person, and at the same time respect the space. I like it when I found out they portray me as a workaholic who enjoys my work more than anything else and that's how I don't get involved in the business of other people, less drama, less conflict that at the end of the day, they wished they did the same. At least, being this person that is not too friendly to strangers, they still can say, 256, I like your way. That's enuff for me. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I thank you God above for letting me be a good friend to my friends if I ever be, be a good daughter to my parents if I ever be, and be a good sister to my siblings if I ever be. I also would like to set a good example to people just by being my true self. I hope to influence other people in a good way. This is what I have become as this person I am today. I am imperfect but goodness is my intention. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thank you God for taking care of my loved ones. Taking care of me and listening to all our prayers. I feel the heavenly touch in every good and trying times. It touches my heart so many times when I realize that God is doing His ways to answer my prayers. Even when I repeatedly forgot to pray, He still reminds me thru every act of love in His involvement in every situation that He's always there. I feel so touched and no words can ever describe my thankfulness. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">2023, thank you for so many colours. Did you purposely leave a few big wishes out so I feel more excited for 2024? If you ask me, well, maybe Excited is not the word, but I'm Positive about it. The year ends with a challenges actually with all the moving out thing, but thank God I'm equipped with wisdom to not snap. I got this. You know who is my Helper.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>Bye 2023, Thanks a lot for this chapter. You have made us stronger and wiser. </span><span>Guys, lets do this. We can do this. 2024, Here We Go!</span><span> </span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-22100876508677743242023-11-06T19:38:00.001+08:002023-11-06T19:38:24.187+08:00And I'm still here...<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hi my babyblog. I'm back for now. I gotta write this one down. So that when "I'm still here again" next time, I can read it and reminisce those moments.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">This year is the first year that I'm totally off any medication that is related to my panic attack. I shall write this down for my future self to remember how is the first year "being independent". The Struggle Is Real. The more I read about the experiences of other people, they all have something in common but not everything is the same. I can see how each of them studying their own bodies and understand how the symptoms take a toll of them. And How they deal with it everytime. Some are much more terrible than what I have but still, during the "moment of agony" nothing bout that matters. Enduring each time is really a matter of "Will I still be here later?"</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Why that question, u ask? Because it is just so terrible that all u think is "your last moment" on earth. Seriously. When your body starts to react to little pain and discomfort, as little as a small bruise or swelling that is purely physical, a world of Uncertainty just comes to your mind. Yeah your mind keeps playing all the tragedies u read of how someone suddenly Faint, and Go, and never comes back. Trust me the thought of the Uncertainties is one of the worst part of surviving the "attacks". But still, the worst part is when suddenly you don't hold the remote control to your body anymore. It just goes haywire for a bit, with your heart beating faster, with your mind gets foggy and sometimes you breathe faster, EVERYTHING, enuff for u to feel that it's really your last moments. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But wait, after all said and done, I'm still here typing this. Feeling good and all. But a few hours ago I had those agony briefly. Even how many times I had it, I'm still terrified everytime that happens. On my way home from work, I was unsure how I'm gonna be when I reach home. But what happened was, I entered the house and right away went to the kitchen and cooked, and then had my dinner. OH MAN. What happened? </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes, let me say this. This is what usually happens. The agony does not last forever. Theoretically, the symptoms only last for 15 minutes and suddenly everything back to normal. But it could be longer for some people, and maybe shorter. The most important thing is The Distractions. The more distracted you are, the better. It could be gone before u know. But I had one terrible nite last month during my PMS, maybe the impact of sugar and other things too. Remember that any kind of anxiety has links with the guts. That day I had all the foods I like but yeah, just a bit more sugar than normal days. I usually allow that on Sunday, out of self rewarding after a long week at work. But I guess I ate variety of things out of normal and maybe it clashed with all the hormonal imbalances, I just got one of the worst symptoms in this whole year. That's how I know that when I first got it, and then recovered, it never really leaves my body. After that nite I know that it's part of how my body reacts to the external forces that I let in. The worst symptoms can still anytime unleash. The difference now is that now I am aware what is happening to me. Unlike when I first got it and with no proper consultation from the specialist.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So my dear self, here you are again. Remind me when that happens, it will LEAVE. You'll be okay, dear self. After many "attacks", I'm still here feeling healthy and good, and filled with positivity and gratefulness. Well, this is my cross to bear but sthing up there reminds me that yes this cross is heavy, but I can lift it because I'm given that strength. I have to say this again... Alleluia to the Lord above. Without him I'm nothing. And thank you cos I'm still here living my life. Amen. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></p>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-62558670515233071562023-06-28T22:05:00.004+08:002023-06-28T22:08:25.794+08:00Surviving The Insiders<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1166417394/photo/women-in-meditation-while-practicing-yoga-in-a-training-room-happy-calm-and-relaxing.webp?b=1&s=170667a&w=0&k=20&c=i-83MnSBtGTzikTkZc69LTpOShfd-RdY1pEiHGM01Vw=" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="339" data-original-width="509" height="339" src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1166417394/photo/women-in-meditation-while-practicing-yoga-in-a-training-room-happy-calm-and-relaxing.webp?b=1&s=170667a&w=0&k=20&c=i-83MnSBtGTzikTkZc69LTpOShfd-RdY1pEiHGM01Vw=" width="509" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source from Google images</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hola. It's been a while. In fact only my second post in 2023. I will just let my fingers dance on the keyboard without anything clear in my head. Lets talk about my overview of 2023 so far.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Actually macam tahun2 sebelumnya, merenung kehidupan ni in a bigger picture is something that I do everytime I spend my quiet time alone. Fast forward to 2023, now that we are getting older, banyak benda yang boleh kita renung. Perubahan dari macam2 segi, alongside time yang terus bergerak detik demi detik. Berfikir pasal KEHIDUPAN and WHAT'S NEXT, itu memang nda lari dari fikiran. In fact makin jelas ke mana arahnya semua ni kan.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">As a woman, entering new decade in my life, memang terfikir hari tua. I see that some people are doing it much earlier. They are really preparing for the old days even from 20 years earlier. It's always about - The Old Days. Me being a short term person, sia nda tinguk jauh. Sia lebih peduli pasal the nearest Next, instead of 20 years later, I'm a 1 month later kind of person. I'm sure there's no right or wrong sebab yang lalui hidup masing2 adalah diri masing2 juga. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Of of the biggest highlights in my life so far is still me discovering when I first had panic attacks in 26 Feb 2020 - not that I have not moved on but I'm still observing how my body reacts eversince that day. As far as 2023 is concerned, maybe boleh dikatakan semakin In Control, cos only last year I remembered I popped Xanax a few times but only very little amount, but that time I was getting used to a new workplace and environment, so it was freaking challenging. Now things are doing much better. But I have to mention the recent incident where a few times I got a slight attacks, in fact I occasionally have them from time to time, tapi semuanya manageable. Tapi everytime that happens, I'm still terrified. Biarpun this time I know what's happening but I'm still not so sure about what's next. Sampaikan I tell myself this, "IF I'M STILL ALIVE AFTER THIS, REMEMBER THAT THIS IS JUST HORMONAL DISTURBANCES, AND I HAVE SURVIVED IT AGAIN."</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dear ladies, I don't know about you but my PMS days are the most unstable times of my month. It's when I understand my hormones go haywire, and since the days my body intruded by the sickness, I wonder if it would ever go away. So far, it hasn't. But remember, this isn't about an OUTSIDER. This is my own hormones, my own body, my own biological system, which are the INSIDER. I recalled the recent occurance, in one morning, I couldn't describe the feeling. Like Numbness of the upper part of my neck. I had to touch my face to feel it's there, sthing like that. Sounds scary right? Maybe the hormonal disturbances got even worse with certain food. I remember eating durian, something I watch myself closely when I eat it. Cos I know durians can be toxic. It happened only a few longest seconds in my life. I had the urge to give in - like say it out loud, HELPPPP, I'M NOT FEELING GOOD RIGHT NOW. Kamu tau ka tu feeling masa tu? Sia fikir sia mau JALAN sudah. Sebab unbearable tu feeling biarpun kejap ja. GILAA, so gila. Just extra strength yg kana top up entah dari mana, I got the courage to take another step and teruskan langkah. I got into my office and I said to myself, I Will have to fight this for a while. If I faint if I fall, at least it's at a proper place. Guys, sandi bahh. Tapi to my surprise, entah camana, sia duduk di chair sia terus sia buli mula fikir benda lain. Kerja yang mau dibikin, and sia still manage to do it. Before I know, tu feeling yg menggila tadi tu actually not there anymore. WHAT WAS THAT, I thought. Sia geleng kepala ja bila fikir. Cos I must remember during the early times when I first had the sickness, it was much much worse than this. SERIOUSLY. Pun sudah sia lalui. Dan I'm still here in one piece, still functioning as a human yg seadanya. So what I'm trying to say is, this sickness is so tricky. Cos it's an INTERNAL thing. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ok, so back to the topic. Banyak benda baru yang sia discover juga. Tapi terlanjur sudah sampai di usia ni, biarpun banyak benda kita bikin yg boleh dibikin lebih baik, cara yang boleh diubah ikut yg lebih mendatangkan manfaat, like I said, terlanjur kita bangun di usia begini and hidup dengan cara yg ada. Kita terima kekurangan kita tapi nda bermaksud inilah masa kita hentam diri kita dan semua kesilapan kita di masa lalu. Keputusan2 yang silap tu, Oh gosh, will I ever learn yang masa lalu tu cuma debu2 ja. Memang bodoh la kalau dihantui debu2. Biarpun cakap ja senang tapi biar kita JANGAN LUPA yg perjalanan kita ni adalah ke depan. GUYS, WAKE UP. Kita tau penghujung hidup kita, jadi setiap langkah kita menuju ke arah tu. Sisa2 hayat kita ni berbaloi ka isi dengan masa lalu? Biarpun in a way, memories tu HARTA bagi sia. Tu la sia suka ambil gambar dan menulis, sebab dari dulu sia tau apa meaning dia utk hari kemudian. Bagi sia memories tu mcm treasure yg sangat berharga, TAPI I should remind myself yg kesilapan dan kebodohan sia yang lalu, hanyalah debu. Macamana dorg try pun they can do nothing to my present time.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So I still agree satu benda - iaitu living the moments. Mengumpul happy points di setiap hari, setiap kesempatan dan setiap accomplishment. Kalau kita boleh becakap berapi2 pasal perkara gila yg kita bikin, nah ini kan pula bercakap pasal perkara bahagia. Sia masih tidak dpt ikut rentak org pasal the common standard yg society kita ada. Maybe sia nda dpt capai tu tapi MAYBE I JUST DON'T WANT TO. Garsh, people. Kenapa la kalau kita tidak sekaya dorg. Kenapa la kalau kita tidak berharta. Sia nda cakap yg it's okay to just hidup cukup makan tapi jangan la kita terlampau mengejar utk setaraf sama org lain ada impian yg nda sama mcm kita. Imagine la, sia dengan mindset sebegini pun masih boleh terbuai sama kepedulian pasal impression org terhadap life sia. At one point, I can overthink apa lah org cakap pasal sia, tapi kalau mau difikirkan, memang teda hujungnya, semua tu cuma andaian yg sia2 ja. Yang kau ada adalah diri kau seadanya. Baik kah, buruk kah, ada org yang nampak kehebatan kau, dan sebaliknya, atas apa pun alasan. Jadi sesaat pun kau overthink pasal org yg pandang rendah sama kau, tidak akan mengubah apa2. You are still the biggest power dlm life kau. I suggest go ahead and walk tall. Life kau adalah pilihan kau dan kau BERJAYA sejauh ini. Apa guna mau impress org yg kau terpaksa korbankan bahagia kau sendiri. GILA. I WILL NEVER DO THAT. So here I am seadanya. I'm sorry if you are those people who are meant NOT to like me. Ndapa. Kau go ahead dan teruskan kegemilangan hidup kau. Hayat kita ni terbatas. BIAR LAH. Kita teruskan hidup masing2 ja. BOLEH MACAM TU?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ok, sia menulis totally ikut sukati jari2 sia ja ni. Langsung teda berlandaskan format apa2. Tapi u should know yg sia menulis ni utk diri sia jua di kemudian hari. Ini adalah jurnal hari ni yg akan merekod footprints kepala otak sia ni. Nda wajib utk ada tapi I WANT TO HAVE THEM. Ini salah satu cara sia hargai kehidupan sebab ingatan kita ni bukan permanent. I want to read them and smile as how far I have come.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So guys, kita teruskan perjuangan la kan? Almost mau habis setengah tahun sudah ni. Ekonomi yg lembab ni nda buli dinafikan tapi sudah lama kita survive dengan passion yg ada, so masih boleh bernafas. Kita masih sempat bikin magic. The word HOPE tu bah, sentiasa menyala. Hebat betul tu word. Bah Jom kita continue journey kita. Sia wish baik2 untuk semua ah. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kalau kamu buli baca sampai sini, sabas buatmuhhh. Harap2 ada la terdetik secebis dua ilham dari mana2. And Thank You :) Till next post.</span></p>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-89949400754633654272023-01-01T21:38:00.003+08:002023-01-02T00:25:22.401+08:00Entering 2023 Like A "Diva"<p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://clipart-library.com/data_images/541905.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="491" data-original-width="447" height="320" src="http://clipart-library.com/data_images/541905.jpg" width="291" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: http://clipart-library.com/</span></div><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Orang cakap semakin meningkat usia, kita makin matang dan makin bijak dalam apa juga tindakan kita. But I wonder, does it mean yang kita akan totally change? Will we ever change and be a different person completely from 5 years ago?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Entering the first day of 2023 today, while at the church, I did a lot of thinking before the mass started. I still have things unsettled brought from 2022. The situation that involved friendship, that made me look so immature and problematic. Suddenly I stopped talking and never answered back all the messages. This friend who I trusted, who I thought understands me the most, did something not in my favour. And she should know it but what she also has reason behind what she did. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Terfikir juga, adaka kita semakin menDIVA dengan usia kita. Kita rasa makin entitled and semua benda kita mau ikut apa yg kita mau. If I say Yes to that, that's not true juga. Okay, lets make this clear. Back in school, I had no choice. Sepa yg jadi my classmate, sepa yg jadi my dormates, I relied on my luck so I could avoid some names that I disliked. But I remember, luck was not always on my side. In fact, the top name that I disliked the most, became one of my dormates. As much as I hated it, I lived with it and all its consequences. Being many years younger back then, I might have better tolerance. But even that, I ended up arguing with the toxic person because I ran out of patience because she embarrassed me during English class. So remember that I always have this limit.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So selepas bertahun2 lepas school, I have more choices now. No more that I have to follow rules orang lain. Tapi that freedom bukan free. Besar harga dia. Tapi I chose it because I decided that I WANT PEACE in my life. If I don't like it, I will not do it. SIMPLE. Dan tiada sepa yang buli simply order sia do otherwise, unless I volunteer to do it. Maybe because of that, apa yang berlaku ni violated my freedom, and the person who did this is my closest friend. She always believe that we have grown up and should be wise enough to evaluate situations. She has always tolerated with this one toxic friend of ours, and in the name of maturity, she does that because that friend needs extra attention because of her toxic nature and we should be extra patient with her. I have tried my best and she got on my nerve quite a few times. So after many years not being in contact with her, it was this closest friend's effort who brought us all together in a group. Now in the name of friendship, she puts us in the same chat group where we got to see her toxicity everyday. And she left the group twice also out of her toxicity and my friend just couldn't wait to add her back. Despite knowing the issue that I and my other friends have with her, she just doesn't care about the rest of us. What's more important to her is she couldn't leave that friend alone because the history that they both shared. Now she's dragging everyone else so that friend has more company and feel accepted. Do you see how she violated us? That she never asks if it's okay with us. She just assumes we could cope - again because of the theory of maturity that she keeps saying. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So right now, I enter into my silent mode. Maybe she got it that I disliked what she did but she still couldn't help it and hope that I could just cope and be okay again. You know what I hate? I hate it even more when someone uses our close friendship to put me in this awkward situation. That I will just accept and understand. Am I a Diva when I feel so wronged? But no, I can't just walk in and put on a I'm Okay mask. I'm not a good actor. I can't be like them, they badmouth her behind her back and in front of her, they use angelic words to make her feel better. I CAN'T. THAT'S NOT ME.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So I tried to talk myself down - 256, can you just forgive? But this is not about forgiveness. This is about going on with life, forcing things that I can choose not to. She can still have her way without me. I accept that the toxic trait is just part of her and I don't expect her to change. Just like all the people who don't like me, they can go ahead without me. Why now when I have to do it, I feel like I'm being accused a Diva? Maybe back then they laughed when I said I rejected certain customers, because to them that means I rejected Money, but like I said, I value my peace more than anything. If customers are problematic, I rather concentrate on those who know the value of my work. I have my reasons. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Susah2 sia pilih ni jalan hidup, ni kelebihan yang sia ada. Some people cannot do it biarpun dorg hidup senang cos they need to accept orders org atasan. Tapi memang berbaloi sebab hidup dorg senang. My life is not sesenang dorg tapi kelebihan yang sia ada ni, when someone tries to take it from me, I have to enter defense mode. I deserve to react. I paid for that freedom dengan semua kesulitan yang sia ada sekarang. Bukan percuma ya.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">After all said and done, bulikah sia serahkan ja sama yang yg di atas untuk guide sia? O God, rendahkanlah ego sia kalau inilah yang memblock banyak blessings. Sia sanggup untuk kebaikan. And God, 2023 ni, I may start it with a moderate mindset but it doesn't mean I don't want to achieve greater things. May God give ways for good things to happen in my life. And of course most important is for my loved ones to always be under Your protection. I'm still amazed by how God have made things possible in 2022. May this faith just grow bigger. Alleluia! Thank you God. Amenn!</span></p>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-39787075005785702092022-09-15T23:50:00.003+08:002022-09-15T23:50:18.460+08:00A Woman Who Marries Two<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Bila baca tajuk, mesti ada yang fikir cuma bahasa kiasan. Dari apa yang kita tau, hanya satu agama ja yang bolehkan kawin lebih satu. Itupun kalau kau lelaki, camana kalau perempuan yang kawin lebih satu? </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Akhirnya ada kawan sia yang berada dlm situasi awkward. Yang sekali dengar, memang salah, tapi bila faham apa yang dia lalui, sia terpaksa buka minda utk pecaya sama keputusan dia. Yang pasti, perempuan yang bahagia TIDAK MUNGKIN akan kena melalui ni semua. Sebab dia sudah lama mau keluar dari marriage yang actually kasi bazir 20 tahun life dia, dengan tiada apa2 pun di tangan dia. In fact, dengan laki yang sudah nda bekerja, dia yg kena tanggung semua kos hidup dia di sini. Itu sia nampak sendiri dan setuju. Kalau dulu dia keluar rumah dengan tiada apa2, kalau sekarang dia balik kampung pun exactly sama, still tiada apa2. Not assets, no kids, no nothing. Dia almost has nothing to hold on to marriage dia. Cuma seorang laki yang masih boleh manfaatkan dia ja. And sorry to say, sia agree juga. Sudah bertahun sia dengar dorg ungkit pasal cerai, tapi hakikatnya the husband memang tidak akan lepaskan dia. Cos she's only the second wife yang bekerja dan boleh tanggung diri sendiri. And he only needs to worry about first wife and anak2. Bukan first time kawan sia nangis pikir situasi dia tapi belum juga dapat keluar dari life tu. Macam la dia bukan mcm perempuan lain yg fikir pasal diri dia juga dan hari2 yang mendatang. Perempuan ni ada kesabaran yang panjang tapi tetap ada limit.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Suddenly seorang lelaki dari zaman silam dia, tiba2 datang balik dalam life dia. Lelaki tu pun ditakdirkan duda. Dengan tau situasi si kawan di perantauan, lelaki tu sampaikan hasrat utk bina masa depan dengan si kawan ni. Selain daripada kesian, dia memang sangat2 suka dengan kawan sia ni. Cuma beza umur yang besar yang menyebabkan lelaki tu terima jodoh pilihan org tua dia dulu. Sekarang dia duda, dan bila terjumpa balik dengan si kawan ni, dia rasa ini lah masanya untuk dorg bahagia bersama. Dalam keadaan dia tau yang si kawan ni sudah berkawin di negera seberang. I don't know kalau sah utk buat begitu dari segi hukum hakam, adalah sudah tidak terpakai kalau di lain negara. Cos right now, dorang sudah rancang untuk nikah di negara dorg, sedangkan si kawan masih lagi di sini, dengan lakinya ada di sebelah. Dia susun rancangan macamana supaya laki dia boleh lepaskan dia balik ke kampung dengan baik2. Dia rasa kalau dia berkeras utk minta cerai, keselamatan dia mungkin akan terancam. Laki dia sudah balik2 cakap, dia tidak mau kasi cerai sebab dia masih mau tu perkahwinan. Masa ni juga la dia offer utk dapatkan rumah, kasi duit, kasi cari kedai, dan macam2 lagi. Tapi kawan sia sudah tawar hati sebab 20 tahun dia kasi peluang, dia nda bikin pula semua tu.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sebagai kawan, sia actually harap dia usaha untuk dapatkan cerai. Cerai dulu baru fikir kawin baru. Tapi dia pula sudah give up utk minta cerai. Dia cakap surat cerai tu tidak penting pun sebab tiada anak juga. Tapi sia terfikir, boleh kah kau skip tu proses atas sebab tiada anak semata-mata? Bukan yang DI ATAS tu nampakkah? I mean, ya la kita semua ni manusia berdosa, tapi benda2 macam ni mcm terlampau extreme utk dibuat oleh seorang perempuan. Terus sia cakap sama dia, Jadi kau technically akan ada dua laki ka? Lain terus muka dia. Sia ndamau juga sound like sia mau stop dia daripada kejar bahagia dia.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Jadi mau tunggu sampai aku umur berapa? Masa tu masih ada org yg sayang aku ka? Aku mau bazir berapa banyak masa lagi dengan org yang tidak boleh kasi aku hidup yang baik?" Bab ni sia terpaksa setuju. Sebab lelaki yg satu tu sangat beriya-iya. Dia sudah kasi sedia macam2 untuk persediaan sambut kawan sia ni sebagai bini dia. Kawan sia tersentuh dengan semua tu. Sebab dia nda pernah kena bikin gitu oleh laki dia. Dia ada cakap, dia tidak juga begitu cinta lelaki tu tapi dia sudah lama tersiksa sama marriage dia, tiba2 lelaki tu datang dengan kesungguhan dia, dia nampak masa depan yg cerah. And most importantly, "256, begini pula rasa kalau kena sayang kan?"</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dia akan ambil tindakan berani ni hujung bulan ni. Laki dia tu seakan boleh menghidu ada yg nda kena sama bini dia. Dia mula rasa kehilangan dan balik2 suruh kawan sia janji utk tidak khianati perkahwinan dorg. Dia boleh rasa ada orang lain kan? Kenapa la selama ni dia nda treat bini dia betul2? Sebab bila disuruh kasi lepas, dia ndamau. Dia cakap dia sayang bini dia tu. Tapi kenapa tidak pernah bagi dia yg terbaik ? Kenapa biarkan bini cari nafkah dan tanggung byk beban kewangan? Jangan lupa yg kawan sia ni almost tidur di tepi jalan gara2 terpaksa keluar dari rumah sewa secara mengejut. Kawan sia tetap lalui semua tu biarpun ada masa dia nangis juga. Sia sokong juga yg DIA BERHAK UTK BAHAGIA.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Biarpun sia concerned dgn keputusan terburu-buru nikah sama org lain sedangkan status masih berkawin dengan orang lain, sia rasa dia pun sudah cukup dewasa. Dengan hubungan tu nda direstui oleh org tua kawan sia tu, dia tetap mau teruskan. Tapi sampai bila kan? Kita bukan tau umur kita sampai mana. Kadang2 apa pun nda jadi kalau dengar cakap org. Not at this age.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sia wish dia baik2 ja. Sia mau dia bahagia. Biarpun ekstrem, please live happily ever after anyway. And Yes, kau berhak utk bahagia. </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">Harap semuanya dipermudahkan.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-48678720455907364002022-06-09T23:09:00.004+08:002022-06-09T23:13:02.543+08:001 cm Coffee...& Me<div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://e7.pngegg.com/pngimages/71/707/png-clipart-coffee-tea-caffxe8-americano-cafe-illustration-elegant-lady-coffee-decorative-map-decorative-christmas-decoration.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="650" data-original-width="800" height="260" src="https://e7.pngegg.com/pngimages/71/707/png-clipart-coffee-tea-caffxe8-americano-cafe-illustration-elegant-lady-coffee-decorative-map-decorative-christmas-decoration.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Source: googles image</span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">If you read my recent posts of FB, I mentioned about drinking only 1 cm of my coffee from yesterday and I was wondering if I could drink that coffee again today cos I know I was going to drink only 1 cm of it again. It's like I'm trying to avoid wasting it. The taste was good. Or should I buy again another cup just to drink 1 cm of it?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>Coffee and I have a long relationship down the road. We were besties. I was coffee and coffee was me. Cos I always love Coffee, the smell, the taste, everything. I know how to appreciate good coffee when I taste one.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Let me write this down so I will remember. The incident of 1 cm Coffee is to describe that my body starts to have tolerance issue with coffee. Yes, a lot of times I didn't finish my coffee for a reason but all those times I could finish them if I just go for it. But sadly now, my body starts to react to coffee. I think, when I first get my panic attack back in 2020, it impacts me in the long run. I remember when I was still recovering from it, I avoided coffee because it made my heart beat awkwardly. If you have this illness, you should know that it has a lot to do with heart rhythm. It can go haywire when you are having symptoms. But fast forward to 2022, I drank lots of coffee, almost like normal, until I noticed in my last menstrual cycle that my body started to "reject" coffee if taken too much. How much is too much? That's why I come out with 1 cm. Cos it's the level of coffee that I could afford to drink. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Today, I tried to break the 1 cm level, I drank more because I got carried away with enjoying the coffee. Guess what? A few hours later, my body started to act funny. At some moments, I thought I was going to collapse. I sat there in my office chair, trying to cool down. OH MAN, IT'S THE COFFEE. I broke the 1 cm rule today. What is happening to me? Do coffee and I have to break ways?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">I want to know if I will ever get back to the old days when Coffee and I can be besties again. For now, I have to stick to maximum 1 cm only, or avoid it at all. It's kinda sad, isn't it? But I'm positive about it. Suddenly it reminds me about things in life. They don't last. If you ask me, No, I have no regrets with coffee. I have always defended coffee. I have spoken good things about it. I even made more people started to love coffee. So if you ask me if I have regrets now that I have to restrict my coffee intake? No dear, no. I have my best times with coffee in so many years. So that's how I'm going to do with other things in my life. I will treasure you so much until I have no more regrets if things fall apart. So much that in this context, should someone feel the loss, it's not me, it's coffee :) </span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-19842792641870701332022-02-26T20:33:00.000+08:002022-02-26T20:33:01.109+08:00The LandLady & The Wheelchair<div style="text-align: justify;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://openclipart.org/image/800px/254707" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="745" data-original-width="558" height="400" src="https://openclipart.org/image/800px/254707" width="300" /></a></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I know them for years, I mean they are familiar faces but we never talked or have anything going on to even talk. But I know them. Sia tau dorg ni sepasang laki bini, buat bisnes sama2. And they have expanded to a bigger premis. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dorang laki bini ni boleh nampak macam orang baik2. Jenis yang beradab, cakap lembut2 dan buat bisnes lurus bendul. We know kan ada chinese yang macam ni. Nda semestinya semuanya cakap kuat or rough or asyik pikir untung. So selepas begitu lama sia tau kewujudan dorang, akhirnya we have urusan. Sia berurusan sama bini dia, logik juga la sebab sia pun perempuan. So I signed tu agreement di bawah nama orang lain. It could be the husband. So logiklah juga kan memang husband yang boss. This lady, as I have expected of her, so soft-spoken, jenis yang senang senyum and tidak banyak songeh. Terkena lagi sama sia yang species lurus bendul jua bab2 macam ni. Sia rasa kalau dia terkena sama yang bengkang bengkok, buli urang take advantage of her. But don't. Jangan lah. Urang baik sama kita, kita baik la juga sama urang. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So mau dijadikan cerita, baru sia sedar yang sia nda penah nampak tu husband. Sia pernah masuk office dorang pun sia assume ja tu husband ada dalam sana yang sia nda nampak. Until today. Masa sia rush balik, sia ternampak someone sorong wheelchair. To my surprise, it was her. The landlady. And the guy in the wheelchair looked familiar but I didn't look at him betul2. They were going to my direction. She recognized me in the mask, and awal2 lagi dia senyum lebar macam biasa. Sia sempat Hi sama dia and tepuk bahu dia before dia berlalu. Terus laju di pikiran sia, was that the husband ka? Kan kebetulan I never saw him for a while. Cara dia tolak wheelchair tu, penuh dengan kesabaran, kepasrahan dan... u can see tu Obedience di sana. I don't know apa cerita, I might ask or I might not when we see each other again atas urusan kami.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dalam kepala sia teringat gelagat the husband yang dulunya aktif bergerak, keluar masuk bangunan utk bikin urusan. Dorang dua ni maybe years older ja dari sia, tidak begitu jauh beza. Cuma sia nda sangka sia akan nampak dia di wheelchair dengan usia begitu. Betul lah teda sepa tau apa akan berlaku di masa depan. Dan without making assumptions yang macam2, sia focus on the landlady. Sia rasa kita punya permintaan mencari pasangan hidup ni seribu satu macam. Benda seremeh-remehnya pun kita kira. Mau yang itu, ini, begitu begini. Tapi u know what, bila sia nampak tu landlady surung wheelchair, suddenly something hit me. Kamu buli jamin ka urang yang kamu gila-gilakan sekarang ni akan sanggup surung wheelchair yang kamu naik sekiranya ditakdirkan kamu terpaksa duduk di wheelchair?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Actually maybe berpuluh tahun, the husband would never know how much the wife loves him. Until the point where he can no longer function and move and has to rely on someone to move. Sia jamin dia sudah dapat jawapannya. Yes, dat same lady yang selalu sama2 dia, dia la juga yang sorong wheelchair itu tanpa segan di depan orang. U know what? Nda kisah la apa yang kita mau, but apa yang kita perlu adalah pasangan yang BETUL2 SAYANG bukan dari jasad ja tapi juga soul kita. Yang akan tetap di sebelah kita dan nda akan kasi tinggal kita. Mungkin dulu kau pernah jadi gagah, muda, dan berkemampuan, tapi bila kau bukan lagi macam tu, orang yang tepat sudah memilih untuk sayang kau tanpa syarat. Tiba2 muncul kesedaran yang begitu and merenung balik kehidupan sendiri yang serba kekurangan. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sia happy untuk kamu2 yang ada orang begitu di sebelah kamu. Tolong jangan sia-siakan. Tolong jangan lepaskan permata itu untuk sebutir kaca. Untuk yang masih tercari2, yes, yang kita mau adalah orang yang sudah MEMILIH untuk MENYAYANGI kita sampai hujung nyawa. Tiada tapi, tiada kalau, tiada syarat sama sekali. Kalau kamu jumpa orang ni anggaplah matlamat hidup kamu tercapai. And kalau kamu lah jadi si pasangan setia tu, sia pray yang kamu diberkati dalam setiap hal kehidupan kamu. Amen amen.</span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-8063425622677222482022-01-28T23:04:00.002+08:002022-01-28T23:06:31.599+08:00Betul- Betul Kerja Tangan Ghaib<div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://ratkin442.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/winds-of-change.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="608" data-original-width="800" height="304" src="https://ratkin442.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/winds-of-change.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Source: https://ratkin442.files.wordpress.com</span></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kamu yang ada agama, yg sembayang selalu or sekali sekala, sia mau tanya, do you really believe in God's punya kerja dalam hidup kamu seharian? Adakah kamu sembayang sebab sudah diajar begitu dari kecil, or kamu memang expect untuk nampak God's participation dalam hari2 kamu? Maybe it's nothing surprising juga la bila sia tulis macam ni sebab mimang sia selalu mention pasal kerja "tangan ghaib" ni. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Anyway, yes, sia pun pernah miss juga sembayang. Tapi bila sia sembayang, mesti sia mention about guidance. Sebab sia ni adalah insan yang lemah, selalu bikin silap. Sia harap yang sia akan dapat guidance yang God kirim melalui kejadian or orang2 keliling sia. So, now Januari 2022, guess what, terjadi sesuatu yg betul2 bikin sia terkejut dan slowly sia realize betapa besarnya blessing yang sia dapat.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kamu besa dengar word Wind of Change ba kan tajuk lagu? Anggap la perubahan yang berlaku tu adalah Wind of <span> Change yang TIDAK SAMA SEKALI adalah perbuatan sia sendiri. Imagine la sia dalam ship yang bergerak di air yg tenang, yang sia sendiri selesa begitu. Begitu la lama sia punya keselesaan tu, suddenly datang ni Wind of Change yg bikin kapal sia telah menukar haluan tanpa sia mau or tanpa sia bersedia. YES. So it's not my own doing. It's si tangan ghaib yang di atas. Teda penjelasan lain lagi. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>Sia sempat takut dan cemas. Sia sempat kena serang panic attack lagi mau pikir pi mana ship sia ni akan pegi. Adaka dia akan pegi ke tempat yg lagi ok atau sebaliknya? Tanda tanya tu tetap ada. Tapi sia nda buli menafikan, semakin sia celikkan mata hati sia, semakin sia nampak ATURAN yang begitu cantik dia bikin. Sebab selama sia selesa tu, dia kasi sia masa untuk prepare. Now sia actually sudah more than prepared, cuma sia teda tu courage ja. Nahhh, ni kali lah. Dia kasi hembus tu Wind of Change, sia teda choice kan? Nahh itu maciam la cara dia kasi sia guidance yang selalu sia sebut dalam doa sia. Dia FORCE sia ubah haluan sebab itu caranya untuk sia buli grow. Not just grow, but SOAR AND ROAR!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>Oh My Goodness. Sia betul2 in awe. Kagum dan terpaku. Jangan la kita manusia ni mau cuba2 la kan. Sepintar2 kita, sehebat2 kita, teda buli lawan campurtangan si tangan ghaib tu. Sebab kalau ikut batas akal kita, memang sampai mana ja kan. Sia betul2 bersyukur sebab not just me, tapi orang sekeliling sia pun buli nampak tu betapa semuanya berlaku pada timing yg ngam. Oh My God. Again, sia betul2 kagum o. And ini adalah satu permulaan yang hebat untuk sia. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>Thank you Lord. Thank you.</span></span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-23106693760676226482022-01-05T00:05:00.001+08:002022-01-05T00:10:29.803+08:00"...Biar Sampai Hujung"<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Bila semakin berusia, makin cluttered fikiran kita kan? Semakin banyak happenings di keliling kita yang sometimes affect emosi kita. Life ni memang fragile dari dulu, tapi sekarang semakin kita rasa. Begitu rapuhnya kehidupan ni. So apa kita mau buat sekarang? Adakah kita mau duduk termenung bersedih? Atau masih mampu kah kita mencari warna2 indah di sebalik semua ini?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I know most of you don't know me personally. Even I myself, yang sepatutnya paling kenal diri sia sendiri, pun cannot help but say yang actually sia buli ja dilahirkan jadi macam kamu dan yg lain2 yang "normal"...tapi TIDAK. God pilih sia untuk jadi begini. Personality yang complicated ni sebenarnya "membebankan" sia juga, cos bukan senang untuk simply Be The Opposite. Mau nda mau sia kena layan ni nature yg dibagi sama sia. Sia ada banyak phobias yang orang ndatau. Bukan senang mau hidup sebagai diri sia oo. Tapi sampai bila mau kasi pecah tu benteng kan? Sampai bila? How long do we have left sedangkan life is so fragile?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So this post mengingatkan sia sometimes masa mengenang life punya uncertainties ni, huiyo buli tahan tu benda2 yang masuk dalam kepala. Kepala kita ni kena attack oleh macam2 pikiran yg buli bikin emosi down. Asyik fikir what the worst that could happen to us. Macam2 la scenario dalam kepala, sampai sendiri emo di pisuk2. Doi dogooo. Buli ka kita ubah mindset kita ni? Buli kah?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Masa sia kena Panic attack in 2020 (dia ni keluarga Anxiety juga) sia rasa oo camana fragilenya hidup sebab sia rasa sia almost di hujung nyawa biarpun dia bukan sakit yg dinampak dengan mata kasar. Dan sampai bila la mau melayan penyakit2 "kecil" macam ni, KECIL jika dibandingkan sama betapa BESARnya kehidupan ni. Even my sister pun, sakit sikit dia bercakap macam la penyakit tu la yang paling matters sekali di dalam hidup dia. Then guess what? Sia teringat ni cousin sia yang much younger, tapi sudah pernah terlantar sakit di hospital dan sejak tu dia kena pegi dialisis. Begitu mudanya dia sudah kena macam tu. Imagine la apa perasaan parents dia sebab satu2nya anak perempuan kena lalui tu semua di usia muda. Tapi parents dia nda melatah tau. In fact dia sendiri jauh sekali dari melatah. Dia terus positif. Selepas dia sudah mula dialisis, dia masih teruskan hidup macam orang lain. Dia bertunang and then baru2 tu kawin. Nampak kah semangat dia untuk HIDUP? Dia tidak berhenti sedetik pun.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Walaupun sia bukan ada di sebelah dia untuk tau exactly apa macam perasaan dia yang kena pegi dialisis sampai tangan and lengan lebam2, tapi cukup untuk sia nampak aktiviti2 dia macam orang sihat lain. Yang dia tidak perlu dramatik sangat pasal keadaan kesihatan dia sebab kenapa mesti bazirkan hidup kan? YESSS, that's the word. Sudah2 lah bazirkan hidup!!!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sekarang ni jangan kita buat kerja Tuhan, si polan buli hidup sampai sekian2 lagi, or what if ada apa2 yang berlaku pada kita sedangkan kita masih mau hidup. Doiii, stop it! Then thats why la stop wondering and HIDUP LAH selagi kita hidup. Sebab itu bukan urusan kita dan sesaat pun kita cuba mau rungkaikan, di sana la pembaziran hidup mula berlaku. Sama sekali tiada formula apa macam pengakhiran kita semua. Sama ada pasal usia, pasal keadaan kesihatan itu semua tidak terpakai sama sekali. So please, just stop it.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Bulikah mulai sekarang jangan kita bazirkan hidup? Jom kita teruskan hidup sebaik2nya, sehappy2nya, dan kita hidup laa begini SAMPAI HUJUNG. Sampai Hujung. Come lets try it this year okay? </span></p>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-72613761011066491092021-12-31T22:07:00.000+08:002021-12-31T22:07:06.785+08:00The Biggest Lesson<div style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="font-size: large;">Today is the last day of 2021. Today is also the birthday of my 2 close buddies at work. Today is also the day I re-learn something that maybe I always know but ignore, and that lesson is a like a big slap in the face. Ok, hear this.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">We have this jobless friend, who at times we thought was just a nuisance because she liked to bother us with her requests which I think she shouldn't; in her state of being unemployed. Sia sendiri selalu jadi mangsa permintaan dia yang sia rasa unnecessary and sometimes she needs perhatian kami juga dengan cara yg annoying. Maybe sebab dia banyak masa free, she has time to layan benda2 yang we don't have time for. Ada benda yang dia mau cakap, dia suka call2 and berkali2 call biarpun tidak diangkat and I especially sangat jarang angkat call dia cos I can guess, permintaan dia tu mesti yg remeh and buli dicakap di wasap. And dia jenis yang ada temper and benda2 yang kami nda terlayan dia tu mungkin ja bikin dia temper. So situasi tu buat kami rasa pissed juga dengan perangai dia. Tapi other than that, dia still adalah kawan yang baik dan kami ok ja sama dia until dia buat karenah. Another thing is, perkara selamba ja bagi dia untuk minta kirim barang, sedangkan we know she is unemployed, we thought that patutnya dia jangan terlampau terikut2 dengan kemahuan dia mau itu dan ini. Sebab kami risau dia akan membebankan orang keliling dia sebab dia akan suruh beli dulu dan bayar kemudian, tapi dia memang bayar. Cuma dia jenis yg tidak begitu segan utk susahkan orang dulu and fikir yang orang tu berkelapangan dan berkemampuan utk buat permintaan dia. Sangat opposite dengan concept sia yang segan mau susahkan orang macam tu. Ok u guys get the idea now?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So today. Finally God uses His way untuk membuka mata kami. One of the friends yang bday hari ni tu tanpa disangka-sangka terpaksa mengosongkan rumah yg dia tinggal selama 6 bulan atas sebab2 yang tidak boleh dielak. Kawan sia ni pun ada issue yg sama dengan that jobless friend. In fact, dia punya sentimen lagi teruk. She couldn't tolerate her as much as I could. She always tells me to not include that friend dalam out activity mansau sebab dia ada perangai yg tidak disukai and cannot mix with people. Sepa sangka? Hari ini dia almost teda tempat mau bermalam. Dengan sekelip mata. So guess what? Akhirnya jobless friend to juga yang jadi orang yg sangat2 diperlukan masa tu. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Remember all her missed calls and unreplied whatsapp? Kali ni kawan sia mengadu whatsapp dia belum kena buka and it was almost dark and she got no where to sleep. Dia almost terpaksa pegi hotel and spend banyak duit untuk tidur ja. Luckily dat jobless friend sempat buka whatsapp and akhirnya suruh dia datang pi rumah dia ja kebetulan dia stay sorang di rumah kakak dia selama ni. So sia betul2 nda sangka, dalam banyak benda2 yang kami nampak, ada rupanyan benda yang kami nda nampak. Kuasa Tuhan telah menjadikan dia penyelamat kawan kami yang dalam kesusahan. Suddenly it doesn't matter if dia teda kerja. Dia ada ehsan untuk tolong kawan. Dia buli ja mengelak and membalas balik semua yg dia nda puas hati kan? Tapi nda. Pasal dia la kawan sia ada tempat tidur malam ni. Syukurrrr. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Syukur juga sebab buat sia tersedar dari leka. Kadang2 kita kena rendahkan hati dan jangan terlalu menghukum kawan yang kurang bernasib baik, biarpun sometimes nda buli dielakkan, tapi jangan rendahkan taraf dia di mata kita just because dia teda kerja. Dia tetap sama di mata Tuhan and bila2 masa Tuhan boleh letakkan kita di position yg perlukan pertolongan dia. And God did just that. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Satu lesson yang sangat besar. And again God tunjukkan kekuasaan Dia. Thank you, God. I take this lesson as a guidance to lead life as a better person.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Oh Lord. 2022 is coming real soon. Equip us with all the life lessons so far so we can do it much better this time. And help us through every obstacles. Amen amennn. </span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-24603950897262898702021-09-11T22:40:00.004+08:002021-09-11T22:40:59.531+08:00Kau Akan Miss Semua Ini...<div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://cdn-webimages.wimages.net/051bbd485b01782458807d1d93ac970a14837e-wm.jpg?v=3" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="557" height="320" src="http://cdn-webimages.wimages.net/051bbd485b01782458807d1d93ac970a14837e-wm.jpg?v=3" width="223" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Source: Whisper.sh</span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Do you guys know, whatever that is happening in your life now, you gonna miss it one day?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes, read that again. You gonna miss each details of them. Read that again and digest it. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'm telling this to myself again to NEVER take anything for granted.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">This thought bermula dengan perasan mengeluh when I spent too much time entertaining my friends at work, like my time wasted on empty talk while I should be doing works. Sia selalu mengeluh. Tapi syukur, sia tiba2 sedar balik. Kehadiran orang keliling kita tu satu privilege. Jangan cakap kau akan sentiasa ada kawan2 di keliling kau. No, you just never know. Biarkan dorang meriahkan hidup kau ketika masanya. Benda kecil2 like daily chitchatting, daily gossiping, daily backbiting, tersinggung sana dan sini, let it be, guys. Ini semua warna kehidupan. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Remember those times you thought u wasted, just spending quiet times arguing over nothing, munching on the cake and coffee with your sister, yes that too. are valuable. All those small talks with ur parents, their small requests, those foods you shared, those little thoughts you spared each other, Oh Man, How valuable they are. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Random Hai dari orang2 yang setakat lalu lalang, macik tukang kopi, pelayan kedai makan yg selalu dengar permintaan kau di tengah2 kesibukan, every smile you exchange with them, treasure that too. Not to mention every act of kindness dari siapa pun, percaya lah, semua itu berlaku sama kau bukan sebab kau hebat, tapi kau diberikan kesempatan untuk menjadi sebahagian dari hidup yang super hebat ini.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Di musim yang sangat mencabar ini, buat kita makin berpijak di realiti kehidupan. Tentang hidup yang cuma sementara. But guess what? Banyak kali kita bahagia kan? Not to mention, segala senyum dan ketawa. Kita si kerdil ni pun pernah jadi sebahagian dari cerita bahagia orang lain pada satu ketika. Punyalah best life ni kan. Macam2 perkara best yang kita lalui. For what, you ask me? Sebab benda2 tu semua telah melengahkan Misi Bahagia kita. Sometimes kita hurt orang yg kita sayang atas sebab2 yang cuma kasi menang ego. Macam la kita ada 100 tahun lagi untuk hidup kan? Bukan sudah cukup kah kita berlengah dan hidup dalam kesedihan dan kesakitan? Lepaskan lah dendam dalam hati. Kenapa mudah kita buang seorang kawan sedangkan kebencian dalam hati kita boleh tinggal dalam jiwa sampai begitu lama. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kalau la kita berpikir macam ni, mungkin ramai kita akan tukar cara kita sekarang juga. Mungkin kita akan lebih menghargai, kurang menghakimi. Terima kelemahan sesama manusia dan mencari ruang kemaafan. Hidupkan hal2 gembira supaya makin banyak perkara indah untuk dikongsi. Kita tetap adalah bukan manusia sempurna tapi persetankan semua ketidaksempurnaan itu. Kita raikan persamaan kita. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kalau sia mau cakap semua benda yang boleh sia regret, teda guna juga. Yang lepas tu tetap lepas. Sia mungkin ada reason di setiap perbuatan sia. Tapi untuk masa sekarang, sekurang2nya sia makin memahami. Setiap detik dalam kehidupan harus dihidupi dengan penuh rasa berbesar hati sebabbb... Hidup itu satu hadiah yang bukan semua ada. Banyak sudah kita dengar cerita sedih tentang dorang yg terpaksa kehilangan hadiah ini. Sedangkan kita masih memiliki hadiah ni.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Lets not sia-siakan dia, ok?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">All the moments today, we gonna miss them one day...</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Never take anything for granted again, ever.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-51035841439175269862021-07-14T02:15:00.001+08:002021-07-14T02:15:06.095+08:00Sorry, I'm Letting You Go<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Earlier this year, my parents decided to do house-cleaning at our other home. So they brought back a few bags and boxes and asked us to choose which to keep and which to throw away. I was so smitten and delighted to find what's inside them. Whoa. My old things that I have forgotten cos I thought I lost them all. Old pictures, cards, gifts, badges, nametags, frames, books, cassettes and many others. If you ask me, these were once my treasure, and still are.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So still, I picked only 30% of them. The rest, I decided to leave them in the boxes and understood that they gonna end up in the garbage bin. Among the things I save is a lyrics log book that I wrote back in secondary school. I remember I was known for my lyric books. I just love songs that much actually. So I decided to keep the book thinking that one day, I might be in the mood to reminisce the old days and have sthing to giggle about. Same with the other things. I thought that they might be useful one fine day when I get all sentimental about the past. </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">Question is, when is that day? Will it ever come?</span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Back to reality at hands, even during MCO 3 that has been going on for more than a month now, I have all the time in the world. But what did I do? Almost nothing. I was busy entertaining my thoughts, my moods, looking for things on the net and other things. My room is literally getting smaller. I have less floor to walk on and suddenly it just knocks me. I CAN'T KEEP EVERYTHING. I have 2 bulks of nice clothes that I decided to keep away because my wardrobe just couldn't hold that many. I keep buying new clothes, and my older clothes keep getting in the way. I don't want to be seen wearing the same old things I wore years ago. I mean, WHY should I? The new clothes are wearing to be worn. The bigger question is, until when that I must still hold on to the values of the materials that are once meaningful to me when I still keep looking for new things to own. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Do you guys get the point? No one's getting younger, right? We only head to the future. We are losing a year in our life everytime. How much forward to I have to look for to have the time to sit and recall the past for the sake of old memories. I realize now that as much as I want to do that, I just don't have the capacity to carry them all. So yesterday, I decided to just throw away the stuff I saved from the old boxes. I have to let them go. They had their time in my life. I must let go of these baggages, because my attitude in keeping the old stuff, reflects how clingy I was to my past feelings. I gotta stop all this. I REALLY DO.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So call that a newly-found wisdom. I wish to unlock more. New memories, my present, my future are dedicated for you. Goodbye PAST. Sorry, I'm letting you go. </span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-46947188938683615592021-07-12T02:04:00.000+08:002021-07-12T02:04:24.206+08:00"Go Back Home, My Dear"<div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://marriagedynamics.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/family-2611748_1280-TinyPng-881x587.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="213" src="https://marriagedynamics.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/family-2611748_1280-TinyPng-881x587.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: https://marriagedynamics.com/</span></div><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sia masih ingat last year. First day of Hari Raya 2020. Masa tu sia tidak akan lupa macamana sia dikunjungi simptom panic attack yang masa tu begitu asing bagi sia. Untuk yang ada follow cerita epic sia last year yang sia kena dis sickness, mesti kamu tau apa yang sudah berlaku. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Masa tu suddenly lengan sia kiri dan kanan mcm numb; lenguh yang teramat sangat. Sia harap benda tu akan hilang kalau sia divert dia dengan buat sesuatu. So I decided to call a friend yang sia belum pernah jumpa. Pernah beberapa kali sia bikin macam tu, suddenly I felt okay, so sia desperately made dat call tanpa tu kawan tau yang sia sedang struggling masa tu, and sia call dia semata-mata untuk help myself untuk alihkan pikiran sama benda lain. Tidak berhasil. Lenguh di tangan sia semakin teruk, sampai sia rasa the whole body is going to go down next. Suara sia menggigil but my friend thought I was nervous so balik2 dia cakap Cool down, cool down. Hahaha. So lepas ja tu call, sia terus tukar baju and asked my sister untuk hantar sia pi clinic yang doctor dia sia sudah pernah jumpa before. I needed someone yang sia buli rely on. Dalam kepala sia tu masa, Kalau la sia pengsan, at least sia di klinik sudah. Masa tu my parents ada di rumah but sia nda expect dorg paham situasi sia tu masa. Tapi dorang rileks ja bila tau sia bergegas pi clinic. Sia thankful betul sebab reactions parents sia tidak memburukkan lagi suasana. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sampai ja clinic, tu doc check la benda2 basic. Dia cakap "SEMUA OK. Nothing is wrong with you". Ada kelegaan di hati sia tapi sia ndamau terima bulat2. Sia mau dia kasi sia ubat just in case sia tiba2 kena mcm tu, sia ada benda mau makan. Tapi dia ndatau ubat apa mau bagi sia sebab dia ndatau apa penyakit sia. Tapi surprisingly, masa duduk depan doc tu, kelenguhan tu teda sudah. I felt better masa tu. Tapi sia takut mau melangkah keluar dari tu clinic sebab if jadi lagi balik mcm2 simptom, sia tidak tau apa mau bikin. I remember cakap sama dia, "Doc, sia akan pengsan niii." "Tidak, kau tidak akan pengsan!" Hahaha. I think sia sudah pernah tulis ni benda o before kan? Tapi ndapa, sia tulis ja balik and akan baca balik apa sia tulis last year pasal kejadian ni. Masa tu, tu doc cakap dia tiada kepakaran untuk benda macam ni. She could only guess sia kena simptom anxiety. Kecemasan sia masa tu seolah2 sia akan rebah dan jalan terus. But do you know that Anxiety doesn't kill? Yes, you read that right.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ada satu conclusion yang sia mau cakap. Sebab tu doc betul2 hairan sama sia. Sebab sia boleh bercakap dengan lancar, and yet sia mengadu sia mau pengsan. Di mana logik dia kan? Dia tanya, ada family kau di rumah? I said Yes ada. And yet sia still berabis tanya dia, What should I do now kalau tiba2 lengan sia kebas lagi macam tadi? Dia ada kasi a few ideas tapi bila dia tau yang my family ada di rumah, she said, Balik la rumah and berehat sama family kau. (Di sana lah tempat yang terbaik dan paling selamat untuk sesiapa ja, setuju?) So memandangkan masa tu sia ok sudah, sia terpikir balik, kenapa benda yang paling simple tu pun sia nda terpikir ah?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ya betul. Untuk semua yang pernah kena anxiety atas apa2 sebab pun, no matter apa simptom pun yang sudah kamu lalui, mungkin kita semua ada cerita masing2. Tapi tolong jangan lupa satu benda. Biarpun masa kita sakit tu nerve system tu seolah2 screwed up and kasi kita simptom yg sangat teruk untuk dilalui, tolong jangan lupa satu benda. Iaitu orang2 kesayangan kamu yang sihat walafiat di rumah. Just thinking about them pun sepatutnya bagi kamu satu sense of gratefulness, sense of security yang TIADA di tempat lain. Masa tu since simptom2 sia berlaku di rumah, sia macam takut mau balik rumah. Thanks to dr Helen sebab knocked some sense into me that sia lupa, harta paling berharga sia ada di rumah. Kita sakit kita boleh dapat rawatan. Tapi jangan sampai kita lupa yang kita ada dorang. Kamu tau kan parents kamu akan buat apa ja untuk kamu supaya kamu sihat. Tiada yang akan lebih sayang kamu lebih daripada dorang. Hari2 dorang doakan kesihatan anak2 dorang. So masa tu sampai ja halaman rumah sia nampak family sia di ruang tamu buat hal masing2, hati sia tersentuh. Sempat juga keluar sikit air mata sia. Terus sia rasa apa la juga setakat simptom panic attack tu semua. Asalkan family sia dalam keadaan baik, macam tiada lagi yg lebih penting dari tu.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So dearest friends, go back home. Spend time with your most expensive treasure. Your sickness will heal, but never spend a day not appreciating this God-given treasure. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-48271649381873932382021-07-09T01:46:00.001+08:002021-07-09T01:46:09.782+08:00Kaya Itu Bahagia?<div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://i1.wp.com/positivesharing.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/rich.jpg?w=474&ssl=1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="218" data-original-width="400" src="https://i1.wp.com/positivesharing.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/rich.jpg?w=474&ssl=1" /></a></div><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: positivesharing.com</span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Whoever says that Money can't buy happiness, definitely doesn't know how to spend money. Kita besa dengar ni kan? And yes, most of us agree sebab banyak masalah hidup berpunca dari duit yg nda cukup. So bukan kah nyata yang kalau ada duit, banyak masalah akan selesai? Dan bukankah masalah selesai ertinya bahagia?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Just now dalam wasap group bff sia, 2 of them bersuara about situasi dorang yang sangat2 terrible hari ni. Betul2 down. Betul2 unmotivated. Mood yang sangat teruk. One of them sampai menangis di tengah2 zoom meeting (off mic of course) sebab dia sudah ndatau camana mau express. Maybe dia rasa nda terkejar terlalu banyak benda yang dia mau achieve. The other one pula lebih severe situasi dia. Masa2 tengah drive, dia boleh breakdown and suddenly TIRED and drained pasal life dia. Sampai dia buli terpikir, kalau suddenly dia accident masa tu and hilang nyawa, mesti berakhir semua ni. Kami tekejut sebab a bit too extreme fikiran dia kali ni tapi somehow sia faham juga wild thoughts yang buli terlintas di fikiran kita when kita feel down. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">For your info, 2 kawan sia ni adalah category T20 yang mampu kasi sedia kehidupan yang selesa. Both ada family, ada kids, and hubby yang commited sama family dan kerja yang bagus. Dorang ni dari zaman matrix memang jenis berwawasan. Apa yang dorang ada hari ni setimpal sama kelayakan dorang. So untuk datang ke satu point yang dorang rasa mau give up live, of course orang akan tanya, KENAPA? Kenapa dengan kekayaan yang kamu ada, kamu masih tidak bahagia?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Tadi terbaca berita pasal aktress Indo Nia Ramadhani sama laki dia, kedapatan memiliki dadah and mengaku sudah terjebak dengan dadah sejak 5 bulan lalu gara2 tertekan dengan situasi pandemik yang ada sekarang. Laki si Nia tu antara orang terkaya di Indo. Ada anak2 yang comel dan sihat. Kekayaan yang semacam itu, kompom la nasib dorang nda serupa sama orang2 yang kelaparan sebab kehilangan kerja, hidup gelandangan sebab teda rumah dan teda la dorang dengar tangisan anak2 dorang yang mau susu atau menggigil kesejukan di musim2 pandemik yang sangat sukar ni.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sebenarnya kita sudah tau tapi kita lupa. Walaupun miskin itu biasanya sengsara, KAYA itu tidak semestinya bahagia. Bukan untuk kasi sedap hati mentang2 la sendiri nda kaya, lepas tu saja ja mau cari point utk kasi jatuh orang yang kaya. No. It's reality, ladies and gents. Mungkin financial status kita berbeza. Tapi demand hidup kita pun berbeza. Mungkin sebab orang kaya tu mampu, dorang cuma mau ada Ferari baru dikira happy. Tapi orang yang biasa2, ada motor pun happy sebab mudahkan perjalanan pi tempat kerja. Jadi Bahagia itu kompom la bukan diukur sama berapa banyak duit yg kau ada, tapi sejauh mana kemahuan hati kau dapat kau penuhi.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Mungkin kita perlu consider KESEDERHANAAN itu juga satu KEKAYAAN. Sebab orang2 yang sederhana ni permintaan dorang tidak membebankan diri dorang. As for orang kaya, sia sendiri pun belum pernah rasa jadi orang kaya, TAPI sia pernah terpikir yang jadi KAYA itu menakutkan. Sia takut sia tidak nampak nilai benda2 yang berharga untuk sia sekarang. Sia takut hilang nikmat menghargai benda2 kecil dalam life yang mampu buat sia happy. Sia takut sia tidak akan berpikir macam cara sia berpikir sekarang yang tau nilai usaha dan penat lelah untuk earn money yang tidak seberapa dan tau nilai setiap sen dan ringgit. Tapi sia suka merasa kehidupan dengan cara gitu. I seriously do. Sia takut nanti sia kaya, benda tu semua jadi remeh. Sia akan jadi manusia yang susah puas dan susah menghargai. Tapi sukur kalau la berpeluang menjadi mampu, boleh memberi sama yang susah. Senang cakap, nda kisah apa status kewangan kita, kita kena fix kita punya happy points. Biarlah kaya atau tidak, bahagia itu FREE kan? Jadi kita kejar seja tu bahagia dalam apa keadaan sekali pun. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Kadang2 kau berada di satu sudut hidup kau yg hanya perlukan kehadiran kawan2 kau untuk buat kau rasa bahagia dan cukup untuk survive detik itu. Jadi sekaya mana pun kau, jangan lupa yang duit tidak menjadikan kau kebal sama masalah hidup. So tidak payah la terlampau sangat mengejar itu kekayaan sampai akhirnya itu kekayaan ja yang kau ada. Biarlah biasa-biasanya ja, yang penting dulu-duluan itu bahagia :)) </span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-61885419708747012162021-07-04T23:38:00.002+08:002021-07-06T03:01:27.968+08:00"Bukan Level Kita"<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">These days kan, sia banyak reject kerja. Sampai kawan2 sia pelik. Sandi juga si 256 ni? Memang susah mau elak apa pandangan orang sama apa yang kita bikin. But we cannot blame them. You know what? Sebab dorang bukan ada di sana bila semua ni bermula. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dulu sia pun pernah fikir kawan sia macam tu. Dia lagi senior dari sia. Tapi dia memang memilih kerja. Kalau setakat kerja remeh2 dia ndamau bikin. Sekali imbas macam dia ndamau kalau setakat yang upah murah2. Salahkah untuk dia buat gitu? Pada masa tu sia rasa dia Mengada, Tinggi diri, dan yang sewaktu dengannya. Or dengan perumpamaan yang lebih kasar, "Macam la bagus sangat. Apa lagi kalau yang menilai kita tu lebih berduit dari kita, nampak pula kita reject2 kerja, dorang mesti rasa kita si miskin yang sombong. Hahahahaa. Well, maybe ada betulnya cos kerja kami ni memang bukan bikin kaya pun.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Tapi let me just tell you. Sia sudah pernah rasa jadi beginner. Harga yang sia letak untuk masa dan tenaga sia betul2 serendah yang mungkin. Sia beralah demi mencari pengalaman. Sia rasa diri sia sangat kerdil masa tu. Tapi orang2 ni tidak tau camana sia bermula. Jerih payah sia masa tu, cuma sia ja tau. Sampai ada customer cakap, "Kau caj terlampau murah ni. Kasi up sikit caj kau." Dia pun kesian sama sia tu masa, sebab seolah-olah tenaga dan masa sia teda harga.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So selepas bertahun-tahun dengan progress yang sikit2, sia finally faham kenapa kawan sia yang senior tu cakap "Bukan level kita lagi yang bikin kerja ni". Masa tu sia disagree with him. Sedar nda sedar, sia slowly becomes like him. Sia memilih sudah. But wait, sia memilih ni bukan perkara baru. Sia sudah start bikin ni sejak a few years ago. Customers yang sudah bikin masalah sama sia, sia reject. So you know, duluan lagi sia pilih moral values daripada untung. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Tapi sekarang, sia tambah kriteria untuk memilih. Iaitu, "Is it worth my time?"</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So lets make it simple. I know I've done it so many times. Sia sudah pernah berjaga sampai malam, berwasap sama customers hanya untuk benda yang sepatutnya simple. But semua kesabaran sia, keikhlasan sia, sudah sia curahkan bertahun2 untuk customers2 sia yang sia betul2 hargai. Tapi betul kawan sia bilang, sebab benda tu kita sudah terlampau banyak kali bikin, tiba masanya benda tu dibuat oleh dorang2 yang baru start macam kami dulu. Bukan pasal kami bagus, tapi it's natural to pilih apa yang deserve energy and masa kita yang makin banyak komitment dalam kepala seiring sama umur yg meningkat. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Macamana pun, sia tetap akan bikin juga kerja2 gitu kalau masa tu mengizinkan. Sia masih tidak jera untuk mudahkan kerja customers2 sia. Cuma kekangan tu sia akur. If you ask me, sia masih mau tu semangat berkobar yang sia ada masa sia mula kerja. But guys, kita semua rasa impact pandemik ni. Biasalah bila rasa lost kejap. Mau rebuild tu semangat dan macam2 lagi "kerja dalaman" yang perlu dibuat iaitu mental dan emosi tu kena recharge biarpun sometimes rasa weak. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Lets not give up, ok? Get up dari teruskan perjuangan.</span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-33890283455691658002021-05-23T21:04:00.006+08:002021-06-01T14:43:10.627+08:00Work Hard, Play Hard<div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-e3481821373a74405cbb3298edf323fa" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="667" height="400" src="https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-e3481821373a74405cbb3298edf323fa" width="333" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Source: Quora.com</div><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kamu notice ka ada certain friends kamu yang kamu nampak macam kuat jalan, kuat makan di luar masa weekend, macam kerja dorang membazir ja. Sudah la susah mau cari duit kan? Especially yang kerja sendiri, kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang. But sekali membuang duit, macam teda hari esok. Pernah kamu berada di tempat org yg memerhati and muncul fikiran macam tu? Okay difahami. Tapi orang2 ni, kamu nampak ka struggles dia di hari2 bekerja?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sepa yang tau kan? Sometimes dorang sampai ja rumah, nap awal untuk dapat energy, bangun dan bubut kerja sampai subuh. Bangun awal pagi, bersiap awal pagi sampai ofis. Kerja yang nda siap tu sambung bikin lagi. Masa tu mungkin orang lain ada yang masih tidur. Dorang makan breakfast ja and then petang baru makan lagi bila sampai rumah. Lunch biasa skip supaya nda buang masa kerja. Ni lah cara dorang2 ni berusaha untuk bikin task masing2. Yes, behind closed doors. Nda semua dicanang. Yang penting, kerja siap, customers puas hati. Lain ceta lagi kalau yang ada hal berbangkit. Kerja 1 hari jadi 1 minggu. So struggles dorang ni orang tidak perlu tau. Masing2 jaga kerja masing2. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So bila sampai masa cuti atau hujung minggu, of course it's easier to share pictures pi mansau, pi makan2, pi shopping la, orang nampak macam berboros nda ingat esok. Ada ja masa free mesti cakap pasal mau beli kasut la, baju la, beg la, semua yg mengundang keborosan. Seolah-olah teda la kerja lain. Asyik membuang duit ja. Sedangkan kau rasa kau lagi berduit dari org tu, tapi nda pula kau macam dorang. Okay, sia faham. Kalau orang tu menyusahkan kau, pinjam duit kau tapi nda bayar sedangkan boleh bermewah2, itu lain cerita. But now lets just talk about those yang actually fall in the category of Work Hard, Play Hard.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I like to mansau sebab dia meluaskan pandangan dan kasi chance kita create new memories, connect with enviroment, dapat ilham baru, sedut udara di tempat baru, oh gosh, punya rewarding. Peluang yang ada tu rugi untuk dilepaskan. Before pandemik lagi, sia sentiasa grab tu chance untuk explore tempat baru yg nice. Take pictures, take videos untuk kenangan. Sebab ingatan kita ni singkat. Tu semua akan jadi harta hari tua. But then usia kita meningkat. Ada masa muda yang sudah kita bazirkan. Some of us start late. Sekarang baru sedar betapa bestnya jalan2 tengok tempat baru. Tapi ndapa, better late than never. Tapi yes, aktiviti ni memang memakan masa, duit dan tenaga. Boleh ja kita banyak alasan cakap, Eh, malas la. Teda duit. Mau rest lah. Bagus lagi tidur. Semua alasan ni sia pun buli guna juga. Tapi cukup lah. For me, ini la masa dia sia mau tebus balik semua masa2 zaman remaja yang sia bazirkan dengan tidak cuba benda2 baru, yang asyik mau play safe. So ini masing2 punya cara ikut kemahuan masing2. Yang pentingnya adalah? Adalah apa?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Masa Kerja kita Kerja, masa Enjoy kita Enjoy.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Of course work is more important kalau kita terpaksa memilih, tapi kerja tu boleh kita siapkan. Dan camana kita atur priority hidup kita seharian untuk siapkan kerja yang mendatangkan pendapatan. Itu cabaran kita. Nda juga buli sentiasa hidup beralasan. Ini la gunanya akal untuk cari jalan untuk semua masalah. So untuk apa semua ni? You know the answer already kan?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes, BALANCE. That's why the saying goes Work Hard, Play Hard.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kita kerja and kita enjoy secara seimbang. Ndapa kalau sekali sekala salah satu tu berlebihan, tapi aim kita sentiasa mau dua benda ni sama rata. Masa kita berupaya dan bertenaga, ini lah masa untuk kerja. Enjoy pun macam tu juga. Tidak perlu tunggu sampai betul2 ada duit, ada masa, baru mau jalan2. Sebab masa tu mungkin kita tidak ada tenaga yang macam sekarang. That's why, kalau sudah ada kesedaran pasal Balance ni, jan tunggu bisuk lusa, sekarang juga kau bikin. Ok kamu agree?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So just because kau ndatau camana dorang struggle dalam kerja dorang, terus kau judge dorang macam2 bila nampak dorang enjoy sikit. Besanya yang suka judge ni mesti yang belum jumpa tu WORK = PLAY. Kalau pun kau fikir kau tau but still nda setuju dengan cara orang lain, selagi dorang nda guna duit kau atau menyusahkan kau, fahamilah yang dorang sedang memaksimakan hidup dorang. Rest assured, dorang sudah jumpa tu formula Work = Play. Lets try to be one of them and kita sama2 kerja kuat, sama2 enjoy, sama2 Happy. Confirm teda objection kan? Yeah, lets do itttt :))</span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-75720211006479855622021-05-13T22:04:00.002+08:002021-05-13T22:04:39.179+08:00The Phases<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">About 2 weeks ago, my bestie spent 7 hours chit chatting with me. As a busy woman, it surprised me that she chose to spend her off day mostly at my office, and guess what, we shared a lot of things and I was so amazed at her thinking. I mean, she might sound like she lost her mind sometimes but just don't take it wrongly. She's squeezing the most from her hyperactive brain. So I want to hilite something from that chitchatting. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">It started off when she reminded me, that guys are usually very different at the courting stage. They'll say yes, they'll agree, they'll do just about anything in your favour, just so you feel good and entertained. But please don't expect them to remain the same after you guys enter another stage. Well, I was not surprised at all. I always know that guys love the thrill of the chase. So I asked her, Do you mean to say he doesn't love you the same after marrying you? Referring to her husband whom I also know. Because she kept referring to herself when she made those statements. Yet, she disagreed. It's not about change of heart. But it's just The Phases.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So she made another example. Her firstborn is now 13 years old. She always argues with her about Attention. Mommy, you don't love me anymore? She said, Of course I love you! But your sister needs more attention since she's still small. So she uses this as an example how to explain about The Phases. That it's just the next thing for them so they have to treat it according. Just like us. We can't forever act like we are 18. We will have to adjust and change, but we are still us. You guys get that?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>So ladies, sometimes we want to be treated so special just like how it starts during flirting and courting. We want forever to feel like a princess. But men might see it differently. When they feel a bit more comfortable, they slowly strip you off some princess treatments. Less sugarcoated. Less beating around the bushes. In other words, they are becoming more and more like their real selves. Maybe that's what they plan on consistently doing. Cos nobody can act or fake forever right? But again, according to my friend's theory, lets not look at it in a bad way. Make peace with the reality that being real is what everyone wants to end up doing. Anything else is just too much effort and it's tiring. Ladies, does this sound familiar? That you don't like how it turns out but you just are just warming up about the idea that you'd like to see how far it goes. Does the idea of The Phases turn you off?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>Maybe we should go at it in a fresher approach. Lets just accept and anticipate about The Phases. Lets cut all the unnecessary emotion setbacks that delay more happiness to happen to you. Lets just focus on Being Happy. So now when your partner starts to be more real with their emotions and attitudes, deal with it as much as you think he's worthy of. If he's worthy your understanding, give it. One day when you start thinking that he's no longer worthy, maybe it's not meant to be. But speaking of The Phases. Let them roll out. Let them happen and deal it with maturity. We are not going to be forever young. Far from being immortal. This is our life, this is our journey. Lets give our best fight and claim the reward. </span></span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-62247270225893390072021-03-13T21:44:00.002+08:002021-03-13T21:44:58.446+08:00Wanita Yang Hebat Itu...<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Tajuk yang biasa didengar tapi let me just try this again. I'm sure each one of us ada Wanita Hebat dalam hidup masing2. Tapi pernahkah kamu terfikir, Wanita Hebat itu mendapat kehebatannya dari mana? Adakah dorang dilahirkan ja pun sudah ditakdirkan untuk jadi hebat?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Lets go straight to the point. TIDAK. Sebagaimana dorang ditakdirkan lahir sebagai perempuan, yes itu takdir. Tapi untuk dia menjadi hebat, TIDAK, tiada perempuan yg dilahirkan hebat. Dorang akan lalui zaman jahil, zaman naif, zaman yang penuh dengan kesilapan bodoh, zaman yang dorang mengulangi kesilapan tu berkali2, zaman kejatuhan, zaman kehancuran hati, WOW!! Sadis bunyi dia kan? Imagine la hati wanita yang dilahirkan gitu lembut, lalui macam2 kepahitan and yet, kau masih nampak dorang ada pada hari ni dan, mengatur langkah dengan penuh harapan dan terus menghadapi hari2 yang mendatang.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">One day you come to them and tell them something, that kau rasa dorang Wanita Hebat. Kau kagum sama dorang. Mungkin kau kagum tengok sifat dorang. Kau kagum tengok kecekalan dorang. Kau kagum tengok ketegasan dalam kelembutan dorang. Sometimes you lost for words mau describe sama dorang camana hebatnya dorang di mata kau. But now you know yang dorang mengalami proses metamorfosis yang bukan calang2. Makin hebat dia, makin teruklah liku yang berjaya dia lalui.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So jangan expect perempuan yg kau jumpa 10 tahun lalu, adalah masih sama dengan yg 10 tahun kemudian. Mungkin 9 tahun tu dia statik, tapi tahun ke 10 dia alami segala2 perubahan yang drastik, dia tetap adalah berbeza bila kau jumpa dia balik. Tapi trust me on this, makin banyak heartache dia, makin banyak air mata dia, makin banyak kegagalan dia, antara dua ja, sama ada dia terus kecundang, atau dia bangun balik. Yess, yang bangun balik ni la yang akan impress dan sentuh hati ramai orang. Sebab dorang ada kekuatan yg luar biasa. Kekuatan yg dibina dari kesakitan. Tapi dorang tetap manusia biasa. Dorang mungkin hebat tapi tidak semestinya dorang boleh jadi sempurna di mata kau. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dorang tetap manusia biasa. Mungkin dorang masih ada trauma dan phobia. Mungkin dorang masih ada keraguan. Mungkin dorang masih bersyak wasangka. Apa pun dan mcamanapun dorang, now they know what to do and how to do it. Sometimes they become overprotective terhadap diri dorang sebab dorang belajar dari masa silam. Setiap pengajaran tu dorang guna. So maybe you just have to accept Wanita Hebat itu sebagaimana diri dia yang kau kenal. Sebab bukan senang untuk dorang yang akhirnya menjadi wanita itu :))</span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-46539100089913836642021-03-04T02:11:00.003+08:002021-03-04T06:42:01.489+08:00Yang Paling Staring<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Sia dedicate ni post untuk kawan sia yang paling staring. And I mean it. Cos today is his birthday. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Well, cerita dia sama sia ni bukan setahun dua. Should I say masuk 12 tahun sudah kali. According to him, sia kasi limpas2 ja dia selama ni. Hahaahaha. Nda juga bah. Camana pun sia ada kesibukan, sia ingat bah kewujudan dia. Dia sama sia ni macam pipit dan enggang. Dia punya kawan ada beribu-ribu lemon, sedangkan sia buli dikira dengan jari. Buli2 dia cakap kawan sia cuma secebis ja, which is betul juga la. Biarpun sia selalu remove friends dari list, tapi dia ni sentiasa terselamat. Ertinya I still want him in my list. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">So sepa sangka, kami diberikan kelapangan untuk get in touch again. Kira work of destiny la ba tu sebab teda sepa yang merancang untuk jalan hidup kami begitu dan akhirnya we are actually closer than we ever were. Banyak benda yang sia baru sedar pasal dia ni selepas spending banyak masa talking and sharing. Dia punya staring tu memang nda buli dinafikan. Banyak benda yang buat sia cakap gitu. But most importantly dia punya persistence and consistency untuk terus berkawan sama sia biarpun banyak liku2 hidup yg kami masing2 lalui. Biarpun dia dikelilingi oleh orang2 yang hebat, tapi dia buli tinguk juga si 3 digit yang halimunan dan pelik ni. Or maybe memang dia ada taste yg pelik juga untuk still mau berkawan sama sia? Maybe pasal ada elemen misteri yg belum terungkai kali ah? Hehe. Or ndapaa, lets find out once all the mysteries are unfold. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Anyway, today is his birthday and sia mau dia happy cuma sia ni terlalu la kerdil untuk bikin orang happy, so sia harap benda2 best akan berlaku sama dia todayyy biarpun bukan dari tangan sia. Sia kebetulan sangat busy pula untuk hari ni so at least ada la yang sia tulis di blog sia dalam masa2 yang sia sangat mengantuk dan kerja pun belum siap...Hahahahaa. Speaking of time management, 256, u seriously have issues with that. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: large;">So maybe I'll write again some other time about him kalau ada benda yang sia mau share la. Tapii at least for now, for me he's kawan yang worth having. Sia tau dia pun memang suka berkawan sama sepa ja, tapi mimang sia ja yg paling luarbiasa dan bukan calang2 urang yg buli terus bertahan dan bersabar untuk berkawan sama sia ni. Tapi dia buli. Dan despite balik2 terasa hati sama sia, dia still tidak give up on being friends with me. Sampaikan sia decided to give him VIP pass, yang according to him, pass yang sudah expired, berhabuk dan teda sudah urang mau dikasi barulah terpaksa kasi dia. Hahahahahaha. INDA. Sia cakap lagi balik ah. Lebih senang hidup sia nda kasi VIP pass sama sepa2. So jangan cakap as if tu pass sudah expired. At this point, kalau kau nda layak dapat tu pass sia rather not give to anyone. Trust me dia at least percaya how selfish and how self-centered I can be. Mau nda mau dia tepaksa akun jua yang dia memang Staring baru buli dapat ni pass. And I mean it.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: large;">Thanks for being the most loyal of them all. Sampai sini pun oredi kau paling loyal jadi nda jua sia expect lebih dari tu sebab sia ni pun bikin meradang, bila2 masa ja akan kasi naik darah kau...LOLS...Eh, sia assume kau sedang baca la ni ah. Have a nice day today ah. Enjoy your day and sia harap, if nothing else makes u happy, buli ka sia jadi reason kau happy today? Sebab kau ada sia sebagai kawan kau. Sia tau lamaaa kau tunggu untuk dapat access VIP tu, tapi so far, I hope kau enjoy the VIP pass biarpun banyak kekurangannya. Hehe. Kesabaran kau tu penyumbang kepada kestaringan kau sooo sia cakap tingkiut awal2 untuk semua kesabaran yg bakal kau ada di masa depan untuk handle manusia pelik satukur tu. Hahahahahaaha.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: large;">Happy Birthday kawan sia si yang paling Staring ni. Sia harap impian kau dapat kau capai dan kau Berhak untuk tu semua. Thanks for being a good friend of mine :)) Kau still pemegang rekod yang Paling Staring :))</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: large;">Note: Sia tulis ni dalam keadaan mamai2 sebab too sleepy sudah, so hopefully next time sia tulis pasal kau, akan lebih baik dari ni la k... but sia nda risau, u can handle this. Jan lupa yang kau tu la yang paling staringgg. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: large;"> </span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-81698991137305211372021-03-01T22:02:00.001+08:002021-03-01T22:02:35.773+08:00Did You?<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYbIe014mnoacoBn9pOdcvN5Ejuv6twlxE8ftSl-0qlWY7jflnVLfJ4wFDhkYWNTQGtQPojorpfthBfKt07U9P1ITorK9vUIoDmybzRqAhtP3NKrqBg7L1o7j2BYXtKDp18WC9ZyMoRuI/s1024/GREY.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="732" data-original-width="1024" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYbIe014mnoacoBn9pOdcvN5Ejuv6twlxE8ftSl-0qlWY7jflnVLfJ4wFDhkYWNTQGtQPojorpfthBfKt07U9P1ITorK9vUIoDmybzRqAhtP3NKrqBg7L1o7j2BYXtKDp18WC9ZyMoRuI/w400-h286/GREY.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-61156864168771733682021-02-26T01:08:00.004+08:002021-02-26T10:05:51.845+08:00Awesome To Some<div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://us.123rf.com/450wm/noravector/noravector1901/noravector190100277/115431176-stock-vector-you-re-awesome-vector-illustrated-comic-book-style-phrase-on-abstract-background-.jpg?ver=6" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="319" data-original-width="450" src="https://us.123rf.com/450wm/noravector/noravector1901/noravector190100277/115431176-stock-vector-you-re-awesome-vector-illustrated-comic-book-style-phrase-on-abstract-background-.jpg?ver=6" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;">Kita semua Awesome dalam Sesuatu.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;">Ada yang dilahirkan sebagai pendengar yang baik. Ada yang dilahirkan sebagai penasihat yang baik. Ada yang berbakat dalam menyanyi dan menari, ada yang pandai melukis, ada yang pintar dan berIQ tinggi, ada yang kreatif, ada yang bijak merancang dan berstrategi, ada yang cekap komputer, ada yang pandai masak, ada yang rajin dan pembersih, WOW...hebatnyaaaa kamu2 semua kan? Not to mention yang ada fizikal yang menarik, senyuman yg manis, wow woww. Sampai bisuk nda habis kalau mau senarai semua.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;">Of course mimang yang cipta kita tu juga la patut dapat pujian yang pertama. Sebab keunikan kita tu buatkan kita saling melengkapi. Dia nda jadikan sesiapa SEMPURNA dan teda sepa yang memiliki segala-galanya. Dia bagi kita satu pakej Kelebihan dan Kekurangan yang kita kena terima dan cabaran kita adalah untuk menjalani kehidupan yang kita mau berbekalkan pakej yg dibagi sama kita ni. Yes, most of you already know, of course la kita guna yang Kelebihan tu sebagai senjata untuk mencapai apa yang kita mau. Ada juga yang terus berjuang mencari kelebihan2 baru yg boleh dipelajari, boleh dilatih. Ikut masing2 jaa macamana memacu diri untuk hidup yang maksimum. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;">Ada masa kita rasa tewas dengan kekurangan kita, kadang2 penerimaan orang dengan personaliti kita tu tidak macam yg kita mau. Kawan tikam belakang, kekasih curang, boss tidak berngam, saudara mara pula asyik mengumpat pasal kita, Well, tu semua boleh ja berlaku pada sesiapa. Sometimes kita rasa down dan terlupa nilai diri kita di mana. Familiar, right?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;">Point sia sini adalah, jangan lupa yg bukan misi kau di dunia ni untuk mencari kesempurnaan. Kau cuma perlu jadi diri kau dengan berbekalkan kelebihan kau. Jadi laa diri kau yang ITU. Jangan la cari beribu batu sampai terlupa harta tu ada dalam diri kau. Mau contoh? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;">Dalam capacity diri sia sendiri, sia sudah puas mengira kekurangan sia selama hidup sia ni. Banyaknya ya ampunnn. Pernah jatuh tersungkur berkali-kali juga. Nda buli kira sudah berapa kesiannya sia sama diri sia ni sometimes sebab dikasi personality yang sebegini rumit. I quit trying. Sia terima kelemahan diri. Tapi personality yg rumit ni datang sama2 dengan sifat senang menghargai. Jadi sia hargai sisi baik diri sia yang nda la sebanyak mana. Tapi guess what, dalam yang sikit2 tu tapi kalau kesyukuran tu tinggi, dia rasa Penuh dan Cukup. So berbekalkan dengan kelebihan yang tidak la banyak tapi disertakan dengan kesyukuran, sia rasa cukup untuk sia simpulkan bahawa:</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;">Kau bukanlah dijadikan untuk jadi Awesome untuk Semua orang. TIDAK. Kau ada misi kau tersendiri. Jan kau risau sama beribu orang di luar sana yang tidak berpeluang kenal sama kau. Yang seberapa kerat ada di depan kau ni ja yang kau patut ambil kira. Kalau kau dapat sentuh life dorang dengan cara yang dorang ndakan lupa, ITU LAH MISI KAU yang sudah kau penuhi. Cukup lah untuk jadi Superman/Superwoman kepada orang2 ini, jangan kau peduli yang di luar sana yang tidak ditakdirkan untuk senada seirama sama kau. Dorang ada cerita dan misi masing2 juga. So percaya la biarpun ada beribu orang cakap kita ni "Biasa-biasa" or "Teda-teda", or even pandang kita sebelah mata, like I always say, PEDULI APA? Sebab sia tau, untuk beberapa orang yg dijadikan ada mata untuk nampak kelebihan sia, sia cukup hebat di mata dorang. Itu sudah cukup. Sia nda perlu yang di luar sana tu. Apa guna kalau ada beribu kenalan tapi teda yang betul2 rasa kita Awesome? So cukup lah kita cuma Awesome to Some but kita betul2 awesome di hati dorang. Bukan awesome setakat di mulut dorang tapi they really mean it. So itu pun sudah betul2 rewarding, more than words can say. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;">So to the Awesome people out there, teruskan ke-awesome-an kamu tu and Please shine everywhere you go and who knows we will be the in each other's Awesome List. Go ahead and be in mine, be my guest :))</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-37509775656107492722021-02-20T02:02:00.000+08:002021-02-20T02:02:05.346+08:00Nangis Dulu Ketawa Kemudian<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ini cerita sorang kenalan yang jauh lebih senior. A single mother yang merantau ke Sabah dari Johor. Dia ni umur sudah kategori warga emas, tapi dia nampak more than 10 years younger kalau tengok dari luaran dia. Comel dan cerdas. Plus dia ni bukan calang2 perempuan juga sebab dia ada sejarah kerjaya yang bagus semasa dia muda. Ada banglo harga 3.5 juta di hometown dia hasil titik peluh dia jadi contractor. Tapi tu lah, dia banyak kali gagal dalam perkahwinan. Kalau orang lain mungkin sudah serik. Tadi dia tidak. 7 tahun dia merantau ke Sabah, sentiasa berharap jumpa seseorang yang boleh jadi teman hidup dia.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Banyak2 hubungan dia sama lelaki, ada beberapa kali ura-ura mau ke fasa seterusnya. Tapi ada ja masalah. Tapi kes yang berlaku hujung tahun lalu betul2 yang paling teruk dalam pengalaman hidup dia. Sorang pesara guru ni berkenan la sama dia. Dan beriya-iya mau kawin dia. Sampai dia bawa dia jumpa keluarga dia di 3 lokasi yang berbeza, buat majlis makan2. Keluarga2 lelaki tu suka dengan kakak ni yang memang pandai bawa diri. Lelaki tu duda kematian bini, seorang yg berharta dan paling penting, sudah canang dengan semua orang dan berjanji untuk jaga kakak tu dengan kawin sama dia. Sudah cakap sama adik beradik kakak tu lagi dari fon. In fact, dorg sudah shopping beli cincin dan baju untuk majlis pertunangan. 3 hari sebelum hari tu, tiba2 lelaki tu wasap dia cakap pertunangan tu nda jadi. Dia suruh kakak tu sembayang hajat utk diminta petunjuk jodoh. So masa tu kakak tu tergamam nda pecaya yang semudah tu lelaki tu cakap begitu. Dia down habis sampaikan dekat mau gila memikirkan rasa malu orang keliling yg sudah tau pasal tu. Sampai sekarang dia tidak tau apa sebab lelaki tu buat keputusan begitu. Dan dia masih sakit hati yang tidak terkata. Masa cerita dengan sia tadi pun dia keluar air mata. Perasaan dibuang macam sampah yang disapu masuk parit, itu la yang dia rasa. Dia cakap dia plan mau tulis surat sama lelaki tu sebelum dia balik Johor. Dia mau tulis yg mudah-mudahan anak perempuan kau nda akan kena macam yang sia kena. Wow. Padu gilaaaa ayat dia. I said, YES, sia sukung. Mana buli dia suka2 buat perempuan gitu? Langsung tidak bertanggungjawab. Nasib baik kakak ni kuat. Kalau sia yang kena, entah apa la yang akan berlaku. Tapi memang perlu satu tamparan hebat untuk kasi penutup, memandangkan lelaki tu langsung tidak pedulikan kakak tu sudah selepas tu. Nda patut kan?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, baru tadi dia bagitau sia satu rahsia yang dia simpan and baru tergerak hati mau bagitau sia dan minta pendapat sia. Rupanya masa hati dia sedang terluka tu, dia dapat message dari satu orang lelaki asal KL yang berminat mau kenal dia. Lelaki tu terus terang dia sudah ada 2 bini. Selepas dorang chat for a while, tu lelaki menyatakan hasrat dia untuk kasi jadi dia bini ke 3. Sebab dia ada kemampuan dan dia teringin mau jadi orang yg menjaga kakak ni apa lagi bila tau dia ni ibu tunggal. So niat dia tu nampak ikhlas. This part, kita masih boleh meragui, apa lagi yang dorang memang belum pernah jumpa. Bukan nda biasa kita dengar cerita orang kena scam guna janji2 palsu ni. TAPI...akhirnya lelaki tu buktikan. Buat masa ni kan belum boleh rentas negeri, jadi dorang memang belum boleh jumpa. Tapi dorang selalu video call so sudah tau camana rupa masing2. Tapi yang menariknya, selepas lelaki tu cakap hasrat mau jadikan dia bini ke 3, dia sudah mula menjaga hal ehwal kakak tu. Dia tanya apa sumber pendapatan dia, berapa sewa dia, di mana dia mau pegi, apa dia mau beli, and guess what? Dia minta no akaun kakak tu and bank in duit sama kakak tu untuk bayar semua keperluan2 dia. Paling sikit dia bank in RM200, and kalau kakak tu cakap dia mau shopping something, dia akan kasi masuk RM500, RM300, RM800 (untuk sewa) so sejak Disember 2020 tu, dia yang tanggung semua perbelanjaan kakak tu biarpun dorang tidak pernah jumpa, dan cuma videocall ja. Dalam pada tu, lelaki tu sudah rancang selepas dorang nikah, dia akan sewakan rumah yg selesa untuk kakak tu tinggal. Cuma satu ja syarat lelaki tu adalah, pernikahan tu adalah tanpa pengetahuan bini2 lain. Dan dia tidak akan bermalam di rumah kakak tu sebab dia akan stay dengan bini pertama. Dia cuma akan jumpa sebelah siang ja, itu pun masa office hours. So bagi kakak tu, ni satu benda yang sangat menyenangkan dia. Sebab dalam pada dia akan ditanggung oleh bakal suami tu, dia juga boleh teruskan hidup dia yang macam bujangan, boleh lepak dengan kawan2, ada masa buat hobi dia dan the idea that you don't have to spend time with your husband all the time tu satu idea yang bagus, kurang pergaduhan, lebih banyak merindu dan still macam ala-ala couple sebelum kawin yg jumpa masa dating ja tapi pulang rumah masing2. So sekarang kakak tu cuma tunggu masa when larangan rentas negeri tu dibuka, dan dia boleh teruskan rancangan pernikahan sama lelaki tu di KL. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">If you ask me la kan, for me, lelaki dengan kata2 manis tu bersepah sana sini. Apa yang perempuan matang perlukan sebenarnya bukan lah Cinta yang utama, tapi adalah Security. Dan hal ehwal duit tu nda buli dinafikan adalah meliputi sebahagian besar Security yang perempuan mau. So lelaki biasanya lulus dalam macam2 perkara. Mungkin dorang lulus bab penampilan, lulus bab karier, lulus bab mengayat, lulus bab memberi harapan, lulus bab membuatkan kau di awangan, YES, dorang mungkin lulus benda2 tu semua. Ada yang bertanggungjawab, dan berniat untuk membahagiakan kau tapi dia teda kemampuan dari segi wang ringgit. Ataupun kau buli ja jumpa yang ada kemampuan wang ringgit tapi tidak dapat menanggung kau juga sebab kau bukan keutamaan dia dan dia nda pandai atur kewangan dia. So kau end up terkapai2 dan tidak bahagia. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Cintan cintun tu bukan nda penting. Dia penting juga cuma cinta ni buli pudar. Kalau kita bersandarkan dengan cinta, akhirnya kita berisiko untuk still terkapai-kapai dalam perkahwinan yang tidak bahagia bila cinta sudah hilang. Security tu adalah sesuatu JAMINAN yang bila sudah teda cinta dan sayang, kau masih boleh teruskan hidup tanpa perlu hidup merempat biarpun hati kau sedih dan sunyi. Tapi sekurang2nya keselesaan hidup kau akan jadi penawar. Ini lah yang dicari oleh perempuan2 matang. Bagi sia apa yang dioffer sama kakak tu seperti orang mengantuk disorongkan bantal. Of course kalau dibagi pilihan, semua mau jadi bini yang satu-satunya. Mau jadi sorang ja yang dimanja. But dalam kes kakak tu, memang sudah dibenarkan oleh agama untuk lelaki bermadu, yang penting mampu. And lelaki tu telah buktikan dia ada kemampuan tu biarpun dari kejauhan dorang sekarang ni yang dia sudah mula menyara kakak. Bukankah itu sudah 50% menunaikan tanggungjawab dia? Kalau dia tiba2 bikin hal pun, bukan kakak tu yg rugi kan?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jadi bayangkan la, pada awal kami cerita tu dia boleh menangis pasal lelaki yg memalukan dia dengan tiba2 cancel pertunangan, Can't you see why it has to happen? I told her, Kak, just let that man go! Sudah terbukti kenapa kakak perlu terluka dulu sebab kalau la kamu jadi bertunang, belum tentu kakak bahagia sebab lelaki tu belum buktikan apa2 pun. Sedangkan pertunangan pun dia boleh cancel last minute, imagine la apa benda lagi yg dia buli bikin. So look at it this way. Memang sudah tertulis yang terbaik untuk kakak iaitu ada lelaki yg lebih berbaloi untuk diberi komitment akan datang selepas luka dan tangisan itu. Walaupun kakak tu masih sakit hati dengan lelaki pertama tu, dia nda buli nafikan begitu besar punya rahmat yang datang sama dia lepas tu. Sampaikan dia buli sudah bayangkan yang tidak mustahil lelaki tu yg akan dapat hantar dia naik Haji. Tidak mustahil dia akan boleh melancong dengan kawan2 - semua impian2 ni dia ada cakap masa mula2 kami berbual tu yang kununnya "Kalau la sia menang loteri, sia akan buat itu buat ini," Bila teringat ja pasal loteri tu, sia buli tercakap, KAK, forget about the lottery. Ni lelaki la lottery kakak! Even better than impian menang berjuta duit yang entah boleh tercapai ka nda. Yang ni depan mata, terus satu pakej sama akhirnya dia dapat suami yang selama ni dia cari2. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So jangan main2 sama kesakitan yang amat sangat. Selalunya yang lebih baik tu akan menjelma selepas itu and akhirnya kau terpaksa akun, kesakitan tu semua kau perlu lalui untuk "buka hadiah" yang disediakan untuk kau. Just have Faith :) </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-28886286886311173052021-02-16T01:53:00.002+08:002021-02-16T01:54:35.378+08:00Si Pelik & Si Tidak Tau Malu<div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRX2hUhAwuknwTxoVmh6Pn9zje9AASmhT_dT-BZjWf3RGRuKBcg_4XNv85hLenzLyMVRsCDgNePOU5M-E4frdOlyhh3PzAqiVZeoeTt48feX77ZXUPQCD8gBMcuBBWnyngSb-8Dolpzqc/s800/frens.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRX2hUhAwuknwTxoVmh6Pn9zje9AASmhT_dT-BZjWf3RGRuKBcg_4XNv85hLenzLyMVRsCDgNePOU5M-E4frdOlyhh3PzAqiVZeoeTt48feX77ZXUPQCD8gBMcuBBWnyngSb-8Dolpzqc/w400-h400/frens.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Cuba kamurang baca tu tajuk balik. And then cuba imagine, apa macam kalau dua orang ni bertembung ah?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Si Pelik ni, well, seperti namanya, mimang pelik la ba kan. Kalau dia nda pelik, nda la dia kena kasi tu nama. Memang pelik dia tu lain macam la bah. Maybe sebab dilahirkan memang sebegitu complicated personality dia, jadi dia terpaksa jua akun yang dia memang si Pelik. Tapi si Pelik ni nda semestinya bangga dengan kepelikan dia tu. Sebab kepelikan dia tu buat dia susah didekati. Susah mau bikin kawan sama dia. Mau kesabaran. Dan kesabaran tu bukan semua orang ada. Besanya orang memang nda la sempat berkawan sama dia ni sebab kepelikan dia tu. So seperti dijangka, si Pelik ni nda ramai kawan. Tapi kawan2 dia yg sikit tu besanya akan appreciate friendship dia ni. So maybe ada jua kali sikit keistimewaan si Pelik ni. Hanya sebilangan manusia ja yang tau. So itu lah al-kisahnya si Pelik ni.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So alkisahnya the other side of the world wujud pula si Tidak Tau Malu ni. Jolokan tu bukan semestinya dari segi negatif. Come to think about it, si Tidak Tau Malu ni ada trait yg bukan biasa2 juga. Cos kalau dia biasa2, teda la dia kena bagi jolokan gitu. Cos di sebalik seorang yg Tidak Tau Malu, ada keberanian, ada keazaman, ada persistence - yang teda sama seorang yg coward. Tu pasal dia mungkin lebih sesuai kena panggil si Starring. Hahahahaahaha. Cos ciri2 starring tu lebih kurang sama ja. So persoalannya sekarang, sekiranya sudah aturan universe ni bikin si Tidak Tau Malu, bertembung sama Si Pelik, apa la yang mungkin berlaku?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Tapi kalau la bukan macam yang si Tidak Tau Malu ni, besanya kana limpas ja si Pelik ni sebab sepa la yang sabar sama dia tu. Tapi memandangkan si Tidak Tau Malu yang terlibat, mesti outcome dia berbeza. Mesti dia akan guna kestarringan dia tu juga. Kalau si Tidak Tau Malu ni ditakdirkan mau berkawan sama si Pelik, apa mcm la tu ah? Buli kah dorang ni berkawan dan kalau ya, berapa lama dorang buli kekalkan persahabatan dorang tu? Sia pasti kamurang curious. Sia pun curious juga.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jadi kita tunggu dan lihat la apa macam kan? Kalau ada sudah jawapan, mungkin kita buli bawa balik ni topik di satu post di masa depan...</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">To be continued some other time...Hehe </span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612336483677742128.post-75014830081528690342021-02-12T20:19:00.009+08:002021-02-12T20:21:42.611+08:00True Beauty...Indeed<p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinVJkBlRIqw49JFohFqKhh9868P6owjkEBp4VpANH1ttmIJvdCoKVfWYC-lGYFXkFDzBnDQbXFipO8gIEhxkvt-nn-ERSicCNlwqRTlYBTxQcVpDWZxca0Ff_Ad4nHAVhcJT_o-yFm7kA/s1920/true+beauty.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinVJkBlRIqw49JFohFqKhh9868P6owjkEBp4VpANH1ttmIJvdCoKVfWYC-lGYFXkFDzBnDQbXFipO8gIEhxkvt-nn-ERSicCNlwqRTlYBTxQcVpDWZxca0Ff_Ad4nHAVhcJT_o-yFm7kA/w400-h225/true+beauty.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was just done with the final episode of True Beauty, a K-drama yang sia cuma testing2 just first episode and terus LOCKED and STUCK. Actually sia ni not the most addicted fan of K-drama, cos I know friends yang jenis akan tengok apa ja drama terbaru, kau mention ja tajuk pun dorang tau sudah. I'm not like them. Since Crash Landing On You, there were a few good dramas but of course still ada level kebagusan masing2. Speaking of CUTENESS, the first K-drama yang palingggg kiut sia penah tinguk is You're Beautiful, penuh kekiutan tu drama. But looks like sia sudah jumpa pengganti kepada K-drama yg paling kiut yang sia pernah tinguk. Yes, this True Beauty is right for that.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Kiut GILAAA. Tu ja sia dapat cakap. Dari awal sampai habis ni cerita, yes ada adegan air mata. Tapi kekiutan dia tu betul2 overload eh. Sebenarnya, di usia makin dewasa and matang ni, besanya kita makin jauh tinggalkan zaman remaja yang penuh dengan ke-sweet-an yang innocence. Masa tu kan zaman kita baru kenal feeling2 yang cintan-cintun ni. Baru kenal rasa camana jantung berdegup bila berdepan orang yg kita suka, camana struggle with acceptence oleh kawan2, camana we struggle dengan isu penampilan yang dijadikan sebab kita dijadikan ejekan or mangsa buli di skul. Cerita True Beauty ni adalah semua tu. Sia generally tidak akan berminat kalau orang cakap cerita ni pasal remaja2, cos macam cliche and boring ba kalau difikir sekali imbas. But this drama berjayaa dengan jayanya bikin sia glued to my chair. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Main actor dia si Lim Ju Kyung, remaja perempuan innocent yang struggling sama muka dia yang dilabel sebagai hodoh, sampaikan dia jadi mangsa buli oleh budak2 di sekolah dia. I like that dorang pilih pelakon perempuan yg fresh di mata sia sebab sia belum pernah nampak dia sebelum ni, jadi sia nda terbawa-bawa sama character dia yg lain. She nailed it eh. Bila dia sebagai si hodoh, it's believable sebab there's something genuine about her. And then dia nda tahan sudah, dia pindah sekolah. Dia decided untuk mekap dan ubah penampilan dia supaya dia boleh mulakan hidup baru di sekolah tu. Then when dia makeup, dia jadi sangat cantik, and also believable, Sebab mekap dia light and not trying too hard but glowing. Jadi dia jadi si hodoh or si cantik, dua2 dia nail. Sia suka watak si Ju Kyung ni. Sebab dia remind me of myself juga. Buat sia teringat balik sama kawan2 and senior yang pembuli. Si Ju Kyung yg lurus bendul ni pun reminds me of myself juga. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Then the hero, OMG. He's so darn charming. Really really the type yang bikin melting. Sia usually suka ni character hero macam ni yang nampak KEBAL, susah mau tembus. Yang sombong, yang susah didekati, yang arrogant, tapi tu lahh, memang besanya dorang ni chaebol or anak orang kaya yang memang logiklah untuk pandang rendah orang lain. So si Lee Soo Ho ni memang hero cerita ni yang sangat2 perfect. Suara dia, style dia cakap guna tone yang slow, and jenis yg cakap sepatah2, dia bikin sia suka ni cerita even more sebab he's so damn attractive and camana he gets all the attention from being the top student, and he has a father yang famous, and the same time dia live alone di apartment dia yg buat dia a loner and tidak perlukan orang lain. So how watak si lelaki handsome, kaya dan pintar ni buli terjumpa si perempuan hodoh - memang sangat2 menarik. Yes I know it's a story yang selalu kita dengar. But penyampaian dorang tu kena di hati sia, kena di mata sia, buat sia Tidak give up sampai last episode.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">U should know that sia banyak watch K-drama yg only half way. Dorang best tapi suddenly momentum tu menurun. Ada yang sampai episode 4 terus sia rasa cerita dia serabut. Sia stop. Ada yang best sampai 6 episode, lepas tu cerita spoil sebab satu scene yang sia rasa excitement tu boleh diprolong, tapi dikasi pendek. Pun spoil juga. Drama2 yang sia tinguk sikit2 ni terlampau la banyak, so trust me kalau sia tinguk sampai habis, ertinya tu drama memang impact dia kaw-kaw punya.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Drama ni bikin sia balik pi emosi zaman remaja yang besttt betul. Scene2 romantic dorang, dengan perangai innocent si Ju Kyung tu dan perangai jual mahal si Soon Ho tu bikin tu scenes exciting and bikin kau senyum2, lepas tu hati berbunga2. YES. It made me feel like that. Character tambahan dia, daripada kawan2 sekolah, cigu2, and family si Ju Kyung, semuanya ceria dan ada kelucuan masing2. I cannot help but just get glued to the next and the next episodes. Teda paksaan langsung mau tinguk ni drama. Momentum ni cerita berjaya untuk kekal bagus, teda scene2 yang bikin spoil or too much distraction yang bikin sia mau skip. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Gadis hodoh yang dapat menawan hati 2 lelaki yg paling top di sekolah tu, dan camana kawan2 dorang tu memainkan peranan untuk menghidupkan suasana zaman remaja yang seronok and akan dirindui semakin jauh kita tinggalkan. Cerita ni, sampai episode akhir, dia give Justice sama semua watak2. Teda satu pun yg tertinggal. Dan dorang kasi banyak adegan romantic antara Ju Kyung and Soon Ho tu, like Full Blast kasi kaw2, sampai kan sia rasa YES, Enoughh! Sebab besa kita tengok romance drama yang terlampau layan konflik dan kau cuma nampak adegan sayang2 tu di scene paling akhir. Di True Beauty ni, dia kasi scenes sweet tu secukup-cukupnyaa sampai kau ndakan minta lebih dari tu. Macam dia betul2 buli baca fikiran audience yang at one point, definitely dorang mau tinguk more of these two lovebirds, and yess, memang tu la yg dorang kasi. Semua point2 sweet and cute yang dorang sentuh dari awal cerita tu, dibagi hilight yang secukupnya, sampaikan teda satu pun yg tertinggal dan dibazirkan. YESS, that's True Beauty.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Masa sia mau habis sudah tengok tu drama tadi, dalam hati sia berabis cakap, I want to review this drama so I won't forget what I feel about it. Sampai ada part tu sia rasa hati sia keluar bunga2, antaahhh tetiba pula hati buli keluar bullet bunga2. Kalau tumbuh bunga tu kita faham lagi kan tapi ni keluar bunga bah. Hahahahahahaha. Maybe itu kilig (tagalog word) datang daripada tu idea yang si Ju Kyung ni macam Cinderella yang telah berjaya bikin Prince Charming tu tergila-gilakan dia. Yang kenapa la semua orang nda percaya camana begitu punya handsome buli suka sama si Ju Kyung ni. Gila ehh. I love this drama, seriously. Dengan soundtrack2 yang best, cukup perisa serba serbi.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">So, kepada drama2 best yang sia belum tinguk, Good Luck in trying to replace this drama as the CUTEST K-drama I've ever watched. I don't think it's gonna be easy though. *giggles.<br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Hi guys, Happy February!</span></div>Twofivesix256http://www.blogger.com/profile/09251573693303832778noreply@blogger.com0