Sunday, November 22, 2015

Something Better Than Religion, Anyone?

Before this, I always thought that God lives at the Church. I was given the idea of why we must go to church every Sunday. "To Meet God". That's why, when I missed going to church, the next time I entered it, I said to God, "God, it's nice to see you again!"

But as I get older, I no longer just listen and accept. I want to have the kind of faith from understanding. I want it to be genuine and not just out of fear of other humans who make the rules. Well guys, in the world where religion is the reason why people fight, I want to understand do we have something better than religion? 

What if there's no religion, guys? I hate to see how people fight and kill because of it. We can say that religions teach about good things, that we can't blame religion when their members turn into extremism and hurt people from different religion and use God's name to justify their doing? Is it enough? Look deep inside of you, don't you judge one another because of their difference in faith? Maybe you silently do. Maybe you do! Like, hey, you are dirty because of what you eat. Or do. That's because of religion too, right? We become some judgmental freaks because of our religion. 

Sometimes, I just sit at the church and ponder upon this matter. In these people's heart, they have the love for God. The other part of them, are they really doing this for God, or humans who make the religion? I guess they are wondering too. They just don't want to be judged by the other humans. They want to be seen fulfilling their Sunday routine. But how much does the church attendance actually intensifies their faith? Does the connection with God only happens at the church? These days, religions are not just about God. You know, right? It also involves politics, power, wealth etc. But of course, church is built with Godly intention. Do not think differently of the church. It's the most peaceful place to meditate. That I agree. This isn't against the church.

But God doesn't just present at the church...

I can feel His presence beside me, all the time. Especially when I pray every morning, I have the vision of me, kneeling in front of Him. It's Him. The one that some people think can only be found at the church. My private prayer can't be more sincere than that. I got no one see me. Just in the comfort of my own small space, that connection can take place. It's as real as can be. No distraction. Just you and Him. You speak, He listens.

So when I missed a week or two from my church session, the next time I came, I sat and just smiled when I saw the painting at the church's wall. I didn't say, God, it's nice to see you again! Because I've been seeing Him everyday. I feel that when I don't really stress on religion, I feel more at peace. I feel that I'm finally honest about my faith with God. If you come across this post and start to judge me, you could be an extremism to your religion, and don't forget that your religion IS NOT your God. Remember that religions have brought so much pain in this world because people want to prove they are better than they rest. Enough people, enough!!

Religions teach us that we are better than others, right? No, in the eyes of God, WE ARE EQUAL. Remember that.

Friday, November 20, 2015

A Wedding of Bread and Butter

Actually, there are a lot of moderate couples out there who would not mind having just a small ceremony to celebrate their wedding. Usually, their priority is the holy solemnization. It's more important to have it legal in the eyes of God, and everything else is number two. Especially in a much demanding world of today. Everything is expensive. Everything is trend. Everything is about who is better than who. You have to be really "unique" if you are not part of this.

Like this article we could find in Fb. About this couple who only served breads with butter to the wedding guests. It is said that they didn't want to get into debt, so they only spent what they could afford. Bread and Butter. If you ask the question, why can't I be like them? Can I ever be like them? Why should I spend so much when the life after marriage is more important than the ceremony? You should also consider how is the community the couple in the story belongs to. Cos definitely you will take that into your consideration if you have the same idea. It's easy to say that "I don't care what people say, I am the one who will bear all the problems, not them!"

I know a few people, who never even had a wedding ceremony. They only got their civil marriage (which is  sufficient to be authorized as legally married) and then they live their life like a normal married couple. I remember one of them wrote in her blog, she had people talking on her back about the marriage, but she didn't care. She was happy with her marriage and she was already pregnant that time. So, this kind of moderation exists in our community but they are not easy to find. If you ask me, is it possible, yes It Is. It depends on how much and how far you are willing to do it - for the purpose of fulfilling your marriage procedure.

If you ask my personal opinion, I'm sorry if I might upset you. Cos the reality in my community - not that I care that much about what people say, but My Parents do. YES. I figured out that our wedding ceremony is not actually "especially for the two of us who are getting married that day". It's especially for Our Parents. They are the one who receive and answer for us when we are not around. They are the one who deal with their friends and relatives anything about their children. So I find out that, no matter how independent you are to the demand of the society, if you understand that "This isn't really about you". It's from my observation, why parents would fork their own money for your ceremony is because they want to have it done as properly as possible. Anything less than that, even if they don't necessarily get bashed in front of their faces, but they would feel really bad as parents. So our wedding ceremony is one way for us to make them happy. It will make them feel like they have done a good job being our parents, or at least, don't make the lose face in front of their friends and relatives. My parents might not see how much I have and would do for them, but in this one matter, I definitely put them first. Cos we only get married once, right? Our parents would usually have a few items to check in their lifetime. 1. Raising you well 2. Get your religious obligation done (baptism etc) 3.Your Education 4. Your Job After Graduate 5. Your Wedding! After that, they consider that you can take care of your life from there. It's that important to them. 

So the question of - what if I can't afford it? Well, here's the challenge. You need to be really smart with your money. If you have little budget, you need to be Even smarter. Try to do things yourself. Don't rely too much on second party to handle things for you. Get hands-on to your wedding details. This might not be the option for everyone cos I know a lot of people who won't do these kind of things. It's alright if you have more budget but if you don't, just this one time, try to make your dream wedding within your budget. Somehow, I agree with the principle of not getting into debt, or if you have to, make it a manageable debt. Don't OverDo it cos it will be a waste. A small, intimate, nicely planned wedding, with the close friends and relatives - is enough as long as everyone will have a good time. All the best on your preparation! :)


Monday, November 2, 2015

There's Nothing In This World That I Own

It's such an inspiring thing told by a customer, who is in her 50s. She is definitely someone who knows what she's saying. She has 10 children and lost her loving husband to a sudden death. She becomes my customer shortly after that when she and her daughter had to find ways to earn money themselves. A few years later, I could see changes in her. Her life is slowly paying off. Her kids are most grown-ups and she can spend her time doing what she likes, instead of working hard like before. So as we were sharing about some failed relationships of the people we know, then she told me this magic advice.

"Actually, what makes breakup more painful is because we think we OWN the person. That the person is unrightfully taken from us, hence it's unjust and we become so deeply hurt. We refuse to let go because we think it's our right to cling to the person who belongs to us. The truth is, there's  nothing in this life that we actually own. Nothing at all. Anything and be taken from us anytime, and it's not our job to stop it or holding on to things that leaves us. We never own it in the first place. Whether we lose it to another person, or to death. Whichever, it's the fact that we should accept that despite all things that don't last, we own nothing of them."

If you ask me, Yes, I have no doubt that her understanding of life - that we never own anything - helps her go through the toughest times in her life. I see myself totally the opposite. Sometimes I hold on too tight to things that any slight changes can affect and hurt me. She really inspires me since that day.

Today, I am facing a problem that is quite tough. My heart is filled with anger towards the people who caused me this problem. I wanted to shout at them and say all the bad words so they know how mad I am. I'm starting to feel hurt again because the losses that I have to bear because of it. But then suddenly the words come to my mind. What makes me so mad? It's definitely materials. Do I own anything in this life? No, I don't. Everything I have now, is from God. He let me have these things for a while. If I'm so mad that I'm gonna lose money, even those money are not mine. It's God that allows money to reach my hand to use on my materials need. So what is there to worry? God can let money come to my hand and they are not even mine. I should use the money to do my responsibility, to settle matters and not for me to keep like they are mine. I mean, "it's the possessiveness" that makes me think that "It's mine, so you shouldn't have it" makes it really hard actually. So when I think about it that God owns all that, and He will supply my needs if I rely on Him, what is there to worry? I can pass all that I have just so things can run smoothly, so that other people will get what they deserve and I get to fulfill my purpose in the society. It makes me feel so calm. It's funny how when things are hard, we think of many words to say to God. Suddenly we have reason to say longer prayers. Maybe it's really why God gives us hardship once in a while, He wants us to speak more to Him. He loves us telling Him about stuff. He loves to help. He's just so loving, isn't He. Goodness, God, you are awesome. Thanks for giving me such a realization before I sink myself in pain. Thank You, sweet Jesus :)    


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