"The Price To Pay"

Yesterday, in the middle of working, I received an sms which says

“My mom came all the way from kampung and come to my workplace, and she SLAPPED my face in front of everyone. It hurt very badly.”

It was from a lady friend. I have mentioned about this girl a number of time in my blog.

I was quite shocked. She got my attention immediately. I replied.

“What??? Omigawd, that sounds very bad. What happened?”

She replied,

“I went out with A last nite and I slept at their house. So I did not come back to my place last nite. Maybe it was my sister who told my mom.”

Then it all made sense.

A single lady sleeping at a single’s (and engaged) man. What do you expect?

It was not the first time she stayed at the guy’s rented house. It always happens because when they come back from watching late nite movies, it was already too late for her to come back to her own place for safety sake. She feels safer if she just stays overnite at the guy’s house (only if his housemate is not around) because she can use the housemate’s room. That’s what I’M TOLD for all the time. I always believe her because if she tell lies to me, it was NOT my body who is on the line. It was hers. I made to believe that they might be very close, but they never go “there” yet.

This girl siblings have the reputation of "committing the offense", from the elder sister who got pregnant before marriage, and then the youngest sister who is staying together with the boyfriend. She is the only one left with the unruined reputation. They trust in her that she can take care of her youngest sister when they both decided to go to work at town. But what she does it she's covering for her youngest sister's pre-marital encounter, with the condition that she also covers for her.

So, being the place where the girl always come to, to share about her life updates, then suddenly I feel quite bad when things start to turn the table on her. Now that her parents know that she has “fishy nite activities”, suddenly I feel like I’m the partner in crime, because I never tell her directly that she’s doing something “not quite right”. Even if she doesn’t do anything “like what you guys think” with the guy, it’s just not nice to stay in one house, alone with a guy. If I were in her shoes, I know what would I be thinking. I would be thinking about my parents at home. What would happen to my parents if something happens to me just because I decide to stay overnite at a guyfriend’s home? Or maybe, let’s not drag the parents in. Even trying to be selfish enough, how about my own good name and reputation?

As a friend who knows everything from the start, receiving the news of “she got the slap of a lifetime from her own mom in front of her workmates” suddenly I felt like I have FAILED my duty as a friend. I always give myself the excuse not to advice her because I think she’s very smart for a girl her age – but maybe because she’s so smart, she has a way of making “wrong things – right”. Maybe because I KNOW the feeling when I try to share with someone about something, and then the person use the chance to lecture me back. That’s why I never use the chance to advice her. In the other hand, I also believe that EVERYONE actually makes stupid mistake that gonna teach us big time lessons. I’m just letting things taking their toll on her because eventually she gonna learn to step on her toes back – that maybe Good things don’t last, but Bad things are not gonna survive that long either.

Something that I learn from her story is…sometimes we just got dragged in doing something fun although we know it’s wrong. We know that one day this thing is going to go up to the surface, but rather not think about it because the moments at hand are more important. And we also keep our fingers crossed that “this moment could last” without disturbance. Actually, my friend is NOT that unfortunate. She’s giving herself too much approval she doesn’t deserve. IF ONLY she managed to balance it out with a little bit of brain, she could not go that far in breaking the rules. YOU CAN’T HAVE IT ALL. You want to get some fun, give away a little, if that’s what you need to be able to enjoy it longer. So? That Slap is a price that she paid for what she did. And it’s not just a freaking slap, it’s a SLAP of “a lost of trust” from her own mom.

NOTE: Yes I know that I sound like putting all the blame on the lady alone. This is because I believe, in a situation involving one lady and one guy, many things can be avoided if the lady knows how to speak for herself. I don’t have to remind you again that guys won’t have the time to think for yourself because their manly needs always are more important to them than you are.