If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time...

I read a blog of a dear friend MissCyg18 (Lolly^Trisha). She has a good topic there. In fact, I have the answer for this question for a long long time already. Yes, I Have The Answer Ready.

I realize that the biggest turning point in my life happened when I was 12 years old. I could be a different person today IF ONLY I had made a different decision that time. Surprisingly, I had thought about this even before I left secondary school and UNTIL TODAY, I have NEVER changed my mind about it. It was a hell of a decision that brought changes to the rest of my life.

12 Years Old? What does a 12-year old girl can do to make a difference to the rest of her life? Ask Me, People. 12 years old is the age when you finish your primary school. Yes, that’s when you are to pick which school to go to for your secondary. How was I when I was 12 years old?

The 12 years old Twofivesix[256] is always the girl that I admire so much, my whole life. Until this time, I think that I’m still looking everwhere so that I can be “her” again. I want to have her courage, I want to have her confidence, I want to have her pride and I want to have her carefree soul, her positive thinking, her leadership, her spirit to be the best – and man, was she a fighter. She would never settle for number two. She MUST be the number one. That spirit, people... that spirit. And maybe because she was all that, the spinning pedestal took its tool. She was given the a possibility To Make A Mistake. All it took was a single decision. “Dad, I want to go to school that I choose. I can pick any school I want because I was the only straight As achiever in my school.”

I remember my little vengeance because my friends who were far from being the achievers, got to enter the school they picked. And I didn’t. It was so unfair to me. So finally, I accepted an offer to go to a school for selected students and I accepted it JUST because I was angry at the stupid system who made me the victim of accidental rejection. My fighting spirit got the better of me because I wanted to be recognized for my good achievement. Then what happened?

It’s a damn decision that I made that had turned my life upside down. I was too young to “”be smart” on my own. Without my parents’ supervision, I was all messed-up. I failed in time management. I got a culture shock and turned me into a day-dreamer instead of WHOEVER I was once. I started to hate books. From being the 100% achiever in my maths paper, I even tasted how it felt to become the only one who failed my maths paper.

IMAGINE.

I got a lot of peer pressure and I was so busy attending to it, and my effort to keep my reputation as an achiever had stopped because my pride was too high, maybe? I learnt a lot that without my parents, I didn’t even know what A is, let alone to achieve it as a grade to measure my wisdom. My parents taught me disciplines and my parents taught me the pressure of managing my time. By the time my pride overruled everything else, my stupid silly pride, then I got the taste of HOW to start all over again.

How does that sound? :)

Since that NOBODY can turn back the hands of time, so what I did from there? I picked up the pieces, and I collected my strength and senses...I started fom zero and still building up. Still building up and until this time, I have NOT matched who I was when I was 12.

It’s a damn decision. If you guys find it hard to understand, trust me it’s because I have not included the details enough. Until today, I believe that, if only I didn’t make a decision because I was too angry and too proud,

I might be someone SO MUCH better today.

NOTE: I Will Never Never Allow Rooms For Regrets, Ever Again.