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Friday, September 3, 2010

A Screwed Up Life – Is it God’s Fault?

I have a story to tell. Not to embarrass anyone but to take a lesson from it.

He started off like some other kids whose parents didn’t get to be together. Still he has the mother who then married another guy who loved him like his own son. Then he has a sister and other younger brothers who accepted him as one of the siblings since birth. Financial burden and lack of education awareness could be among the reasons why he quit school early. But the same goes with the rest of the siblings. Being the eldest among them, he should have it more than the younger siblings.

When he was in his 20s, he got married to a girl. Not long after they got the first child. He never landed a proper job. It was his wife who busted her buns everyday to earn a living. She never quit even how hard it was for her. With a husband like that, imagine what kind of strength she should have to endure more than 30 years of marriage. The wife, with vision defect (which one of her eyes was blind from small), was not really the kind of lady that you thought would have time to mess around with other men behind her husband’s back. Not when she was too busy working to put food on the table. Despite her sacrifice, the husband always screamed at her, accusing her of having an affair with her superior or any guy she came in contact with. Everyone knows that jealousy was always the reason of heated arguments between them. What did the husband do all the while? If he has the time, he went out hunting. Other than that, he was just sitting at home sleeping, or going to other people’s house and chatted there for hours gossiping about other people.

Their first child was a girl. After less than 9 years, she got a new sister. What kind of fate that this sister deserved when her father accused her to be a child from her mom’s secret affair. Imagine that. Even if she had to endure people badmouthing about her resulting from her own husband’s agenda, she still managed to bring up their 2 kids like normal kids who got the basic education.

After SPM, the first daughter finally found a way to work in town, even if just a cabin cleaner. Her life back at home could be one of the reasons why she could just be happy as long as she got to stay away from home and she was satisfied enough to land a job like that. Now the younger sister also got to be away from home when she got accepted to take a government-funded course at a local institution. What left at home were again the husband and the wife until something that happened months ago. The ongoing argument on jealousy finally came to its peak. The guy got so mad at the wife and started telling his younger brothers that his wife was saying bad things about their late mother and the rest of the siblings,(which was not true) that made the brothers so mad. That nite, one of the angry brothers actually hit the wife so furiously, punched and kicked her till she had to run to the house of the Village leader, who was also one of the guy’s younger brothers. She asked for help to call the police, but the Village Leader was siding his brother. The husband just watched her wife got physically abused and was so delighted that he got other people to teach her a lesson.

Yes people. You read right. What you read was a real story happened to my own relative. This wasn’t a drama that you got hit and kicked and punched with fake bruises and pain. With only one working eye, been working selling vegetables to support the family and raise the kids on her own with the husband just to make their lives harder, that was what she got in the end. That incident hurt her so badly. She finally decided to move out from the house and took refuge in her relative’s home, and she never came home again. Maybe she didn’t believe why life has been so harsh to her. The husband left alone in the house, a house which was also built on the wife’s sweat. Even his brothers know that there’s no way that something in the house actually comes from their own elder brother. All he got was a mouth that can poison people’s mind. He couldn’t even use his mouth wisely.

So for months since that incident, he stayed there alone. No one was there to feed him. Luckily his siblings’ houses were all nearby. They did go there and visited him but they had their own lives and families too. Deep inside they knew their elder brother was good for nothing. He was just too lazy to improve his life.

After months living alone and unattended, with no one to cook for him, he had to do everything on his own. Without no jobs or even anything. In his 50s now, he only waited for anybody to drop by and send something for him. Not long after that, his health was deteriorated. Not long after that, he was sent to the hospital and stayed there for weeks now. He was diagnosed with a few diseases that need constant treatments. The siblings barely come and visit. Even his own siblings thought that he didn’t worth their time. Had him not made the stupidest mistake of framing the wife, maybe he still got someone beside the bed, just like all the times before whenever he fell sick. Now he continues to live on people’s sympathy. Luckily he got one very caring sibling (she is the only sister in the siblings) who have been sending him foods everyday and week. Even at this point, God never abandons him. At least He sends him someone to take care of him.

I looked at this man. His life was totally screwed. I tried to think whether this is God’s doing or is it his own. Now I see it with my own eyes that IT’S US who decide what kind of life we want to have. I know I’m right all along about God gives us 90% the power to get the life we want when He only takes 10% from it for our written destiny. It’s not God’s fault that He didn’t look for a job. It’s not God’s fault that he couldn’t not control his jealousy. It’s not God’s fault that he didn’t know how to appreciate the wife. It’s not God’s fault that he was too lazy for anything. It’s not God’s fault that he used his mouth for the wrong purpose. Is it God's fault that he never did one single good thing to contribute to the life that he ended up having today.

We take a lesson from this. The guy has been given more than 50 years, to clean up his acts and come clean, start a new slate, be a better person the next day – you name it. He failed to use any of these chances to get the life he wants. I’m sure the life he wants is not laying on the hospital bed, crying at nite, not just out of pain, but out of total loneliness.

Whatever we have today is the result of our own doing. Don’t go ask the same question again one day about who should be blamed if you have a screwed up life? Don’t give yourself the chance to blame. Cos the answer to that question is not anybody, is not God, but it is YOU.

Think about it. :)

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