My parents used to say this since many years before. We must start attending weddings and parties, so that they will return the favour. They always scare us with, “If you don’t come, no one will come to your wedding.” Living in the kampung culture, I guess that this is never yet too obsolete for them. We still hear that line to this day. We failed to attend a lot of wedding invitations. In my case because I was away from home for so many years. I mean, I did not stay at home for almost all my 365 days in a year during those years. But even I didn’t get exempted. So now I’m still to be punished for my unintentional crimes. Then recently when my parents said that line again, then I got something to reply. “Are you sure that everyone whose wedding we attended; will attend ours?”
Then my parents said, “Of course. That’s the way it is.”
But my parents were wrong. During my brother’s wedding a few years ago, there were some relatives who were not present. And my parents attended all the events from those families, be it weddings or birthdays. So? Why didn’t they come. My parents did go and ask them after the event. They were giving some funny excuses, like, “Oh, all of us got food poisoning that time, we all went to the clinic that day.” Then you would assume they were lying. Or maybe they could be telling the truth. Would you go extra mile to find out the truth? Or just let them be?
That’s why. When you do something, you can’t always expect people would do you the same favour. This is one big factor of frustration and heartache in people. EXPECTATIONS. I have learnt my lesson the hard way. Expectations for other people always bring disappointment. Never rely or depend too much on others. Their next move might just crush your dream, just like that. Don’t let them.
I give you another tips. Whatever that you do, you must learn to do it with sincerity. The more sincere you are, the safer. Sincere means you would still do it even if you won’t get paid, or get back what you give. Of course, you can always rely on “What you give, you get back” but still, it’s better to feel wholeheartedly volunteer to do something. If you can’t do it, then don’t. It’s much better than writing down all your deeds and waiting for the reward, and it just never comes. Then you start cursing life in your own unique way. Would it do any good to you, you think? Life still goes on, right?
This is the world where you can’t really trust must, depend much, more than you do ON YOURSELF. Cos at least you know, the next thing that your hands and feet do, is an order from your own brain, which you have control of. Even that, you are still not really in control sometimes. Not to mention the rest of the things in this universe that you totally have no power over. Have you read the quote saying, “Even your own shadow will leave you when you are in darkness”.
Using the example above, when you attend a wedding event, attend because you think you want to attend to just be part of it. Think about the foods, the musics, the people – feel good about doing something for others. And lastly, it’s better to not expect that by you coming there, you make them owe you. I choose not to do so. Why would I do so? I keep a positive mind thinking that even if all this people won't attend my own event, it's okay. I create such a world where as long as we do things with good intention, things can’t get too far wrong. EXPECT LESS and start to let go hard feelings for others. We just never know. They have their own battle too. So good news is. You TOO should do the same. Go right ahead and achieve the life that you want, without much interference from others. The less you expect from others, the more powerful you become in your own life.
Still, I believe, in the world where every man for himself, it doesn’t mean that we better off as strangers. We still have unwritten rules for a better life. Honour Familyship. Honour Friendship. Be there for one another for support any time possible. In case they can’t repay you, you know who will…. God :) Just feel good and fully enjoy being In Power In Your Own Life. Lets do it!!
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