Age Guessing Game: Certainly not 23

I associate with this new chatter lately. He bumped into me in the right timing, and was lucky enough to get my Fb without having to be ignored first and then added back, like I did to most new chatters who asked for my Fb too early. 256 and her inaccessibility, nothing new right? Hahaha

I never asked about his age. Judging from his general knowledge, I could not make a conclusion on the age. Some people are just not into reading. But his job could be something. Since that he runs his own business, and he told me he worked with his dad before, and how he broke up with his gf and all that, I could easily add years to his age. Plus, judging from his opinion and his attempt to advice me to be careful of guys and their intentions, I easily thought that a very young guy won't have that much things to say.

He was dead curious about my age too. At least I bet he has a certain range of age that he puts me in, judging from the chat. He had his first guess on the first day we chat. It would be normal any guy on IRC who chats with a girl would prefer the girl to be younger right? Most of the case, yes. So the guy first guessed my age to be 25 after he went into my Fb. So using my common sense, he must guess an age younger than his age because that’s the way they would prefer it to be. So I have a reason to guess that this guy must be above 25. Everything that I learnt about him really goes well for someone above 25.

Last nite, only our 3rd day chatting, we finally found the answer! I mistakenly told him that I have a degree, so he went, You have a Degree? That’s when he finally knew the answer. Any way he tries to put it, I CAN’T be younger than him. He knows that I’m already working so I won’t be just graduated. A normal candidate usually graduates at 23. He went, 256, now I am so sure that you are older than I am!!

Cos I am just 23!!!

Haahahahahaa.

There’s is NO WAY that I’m younger than that. There’s NO WAY I would joke around and lie to people that I am that young. With all my capabilities, knowledge and experiences, it would be SINFUL to be younger than 23. *Lols. But after knowing his age, I am very proud that he has reached somewhere that young. That explains why he is not so informative and there are so many things about the world that he doesn’t know yet. But to me, after everything that I have in my life now, it’s just so ridiculous to be someone younger than him.

As far as online world is concerned, and with all this online identity policy, some guys who have chatted with me told me that judging from my intelligence, it’s a shock if I’m below 25. I just laughed. Especially to some of them whom I mistakenly told about my work.

It tells me something that our achievements do take years to develop. We like it better if we are younger, but then there are so many things that we won’t yet reach because of being young. So if we have the choice to pick to be younger or to be experienced, well…this is my answer.

I have been a 23 years old once in my life. I don’t need to be 23 again. At any age that I happen to be, I know that every year added to the age equals to so many little accomplishments that make me A BETTER PERSON. So my version of 23 years old can NEVER beat my version of 24 , 25, 26 and so on. So in my case with the guy, there’s nothing we can do about the age gap. It’s not each other’s fault that we are in our age now. It’s just the flow of life. So no matter in what age you are, you always have something to be happy about. If you are younger, you have your youth, energy and hype and if you are older, you have experiences, achievements and reputation.

But when it comes to age guessing in the online world, we certainly can’t be sure if we get it right just by the details from the chat. Only honesty tells the truth. But why care? If you guys can chat well without knowing each other’s age to begin with, then age should not stop you to make friends to younger or older people. Online world is borderless. Keep it that way. *giggles.

Beautiful For Him...

I met one new customer today. She came to me and made a strange request. “This is for my husband.” As she went on explaining, everytime she said something, it was always because of her husband. She said she wanted to look beautiful and nice and all that, so that her husband could feel good coming home every nite. She said, “I will pay any price you ask.” I told her, I did not do the service that she wanted. And I doubt, any other places have that kind of service. I mean, she did all that just to impress her husband?

Then she told me she just came back from a beauty saloon. I did not notice anything so noticeable with her which might be what she just got from the saloon. Not even her hair not eyelashes or anything. She looked normal to me. Then she told me she just got her face injected. Then I was like, “Oh. What for?” She said, the injection that cost her RM1k would make her face fuller, including the nose. She said her face was hurting all over especially her nose. I could notice the few red spots on her face. She kept touching her face because it was hurting.

As the lady walked out, with her two little cute kids, I could see that she looked a bit messy, and also overweight. Maybe that was why she she needed some improvement on her looks. I could guess that she must be one of those housewives whose priority is the husband. Whatever they do, they do it for and because of the husband. It’s important to them to make their man come home happily to see their face. As most adults would understand, the bedroom is a very important place for the married couple. I can feel the tension and the pressure in her face. She only wants to be beautiful again. She wants her man to be happy. This is what most devoted wives will do. They will go extra mile for you, men.

Never abandon this lady that has sacrificed their years just to have your love. You tell me you love your kids? Yes, it’s the lady that you married that gave birth to them.

Maybe you men should let your wives know. Maybe when you guys first knew each other, it could be her beauty that caught your attention. But Not Anymore. All the years together made you see her beyond the beauty that your eyes could see. She might not be as beautiful or as foxy as the younger girls outside there but it isn’t them who wait for you when you come home or prepare the food for you when you are hungry and hug you when you feel cold and lonely, and take care of you when you fall sick. If you still feel anxious to come home just to meet this lady and can't wait to see her face again although she sometimes looks messy and not groomed, what you are feeling could be what they call unconditional LOVE. Congrats to you. Not many could experience that kind of love.

So Please remember all that before you do one more sin towards this lady that who devoted her life to you.

Thanks Men. I know you have a heart too.

Oops Wrong Number!

Yesterday I heard a sound of incoming SMS from my phone which was in my handbag. I took it out and saw SMS from my big bro Jojon. I read the text SMS and he said something like, “Haha it was your turn to get the wrong number.” Then I was like, “What?? What did my phone do now?”

I checked the list of Dialled numbers and did not see Jon’s number there. Oh, it must be an SMS that I wrongly sent to him. I SMS him back, “Did I just send an SMS to you?” I laughed out loud. “Sorry, my phone was inside the bag. I must forgot to lock it.” Jon replied back with a laugh. This was not the first time it happened. Jon was always the victim of wrong number because his name was on top of my phonebook list. If I wrongly press anything, it usually will send to the first name. Luckily I did not send anything obscene in the SMS that I mistakenly sent to him. Hahahahaha. This wrong number thing always caused by my movement when the phone keypad wasn't locked while inside the handbag.

But I was not the only one who did this mistake. I remember that after a long time not talking from phone or SMS to my big bro, I received a call from him. But it was funny because the call was not for me. He expected to talk to someone else, so when he listened to my voice he laughed right away because he got the wrong number. But guess what? If it was because of wrong number, we might not listen to each other’s voice longer than that. At least we got to say hi and hear each other laugh. Hahahahahaha. The funny thing about Jon with wrong number is because he hides my name using someone else's name so sometimes he forgot and mistakenly dialed my number which he thought was the owner of the name. It was so funny. As soon as I answered, I heard him laughing so loud at the mistake. But the mistake was sweet at least he got to hear his little sister little voice. *giggles.

Guess what? We could really use this excuse of “Oops, wrong number” as a way to say, “Long time no hear” or “I miss to hear from you” something like that. Most likely the person will answer your SMS back and tell you that you got the wrong number – at least you know the person is in good condition, well enough to be able to answer your SMS back. And especially when the person thinks it’s funny, he would laugh at your mistake, at least the word “Hahahahahaha” or Lolzzz will let you know that the person is in a cheerful mood.

So, when you dial the wrong number to the right person – isn’t so embarrassing after all.

*giggles.

Note: So when you keep getting wrong number from your long lost friends or even special ones, it could be because they miss you and just use "Oops, wrong number!!" as an excuse. Hahaha :P

My Best Fb Wall Post So Far

There’s always some1 who is smarter, prettier or handsomer than the 1 by our side. But who cares? Why r we bothered that we don’t settle with the best of them all? Just because we always believe that “we want the best” – we forget that “The best” means the one who thinks that we r “the best” for them even if they know ...that we might not be the smartest, prettiest or handsomest people they know.

Note: I like to think of something original to post to my status. An idea or philosophy that hit my mind anytime. If I quote it from somewhere, I will mention just for sharing. But as far as the original ones are concerned, this one gives the most impact to me. How true, right. Hehehe

Twofivesix[256] Answers 25 Fun Questions of “How Many”.

Condition: All answers must have numbers!!

1. How many people here know your full real name?

1 (?)

2. How many people here know your IC number?

1 (Erks?)

3. How many people here have talked with over the phone?

10 (Wow…so many? *Lols)

4. How many people here have your full pictures?

6 (Haha)

5. How many people have heard you sing?

0. *giggles.

6. How many hours the longest phone call you had from the people here?

5 hours?

7. How many times you remember guys saying I love you to you?

More than 1 (Do you count? Then count for me next time Hahaha)

8. How many times have you fallen in love?

Just 1 (I only count the one to walk the aisle with which is not yet happen hehe)

9. How many times you say I love you to guys?

Say? Still waiting when to say it. So still 0. (*giggles)

10. How many kids do you want?

2-4 maybe? Hahaha

11. How many times you visit the saloon?

2 times a year. Hahaha

12. How many lipstick you have now?

4, I guess.

13. How many times you wash your hair in a week?

Once in 3 days (as advised).

14. How many perfumes you have now?

More than 3. But I don’t use them often. I prefer cologne.

15. How many earring(s) you have on each ear?

Now just 2, but with 4 piercings each ears. Erks?

16. How many panties you have now?

More than 7. (I don’t know. I just know they are many enough to last for a week without laundry). Hahahaha

17. How many brassieres you have now?

Same. More than 7.

18. How many pair of jeans you frequently use?

1?!!! The rest are slacks.

19. How many handbags you have now?

Only 2. I still keep a few more but they need to be fixed somewhere.

20. How many times you receive fresh flower bouquet from guys?

Fresh flowers? 0. I don’t like fresh flowers. Replace it with chocs la. Hehe.

21. How many times you receive chocolate gifts from guys?

About 10 times maybe? (Many times actually)

22. How many times you have a nite hangout in a week?

0. I don’t hangout at nite. Yet. Hahaha

23. How many closefriends you have?

3. The rest are still good buddies.

24. How many ex boyfs you have?

More than 1. Enuff exes, ok.

25. How many special boyf you have now.

Hahahahaha. I'm not as evil as you so I don't wish to have more than 1. *Lols

“Never Been Kissed”

I first watched this movie back in school, and finally I watched it again just now. WOW. :)

Why I think this movie is a WOW to me because it reflects me. It’s just a simple story of a reporter who had been haunted by her schoolday memories that ended with a humiliation by the famous guy who she thought wanted to take her to the prom nite. She almost didn’t believe that the hottest guy in school asking her to be his partner to prom. She didn’t see what was coming. When she saw the limo, Instead, the guy went out from the car roof and threw her with some eggs that smashed right on her face and prom dress. When she cried in embarrassment and picked her shoes and ran so that her mom won’t have to find out that it was what happened to her by the time she stepped out from the house and ready to get picked. WHY I could feel the emotion of that character. That humiliation. That shame. That total lost of self esteem. Even thousands drop of tears won’t make a difference. I’VE BEEN THERE.

Years later, after she became a reporter, she was asked to do undercover to see how the kids were today and by raising issues that could sell their papers. On her quest, she had to become a 17 years old once again and tried so hard to be accepted. Yes, it was when she realized that she thought she has never changed, still that plain, undiscovered and under-appreciated young girl who always tend to be a joke to others. How she has to come out from her shell, to finally realize that she has grown to be someone else who trapped in a schoolday humiliation. This story reminds me that a bad experience goes a long way. This story reminds me that when you have a tough teenagehood, you gonna struggle to find yourself just to believe that you are worth it. Yes – why I appreciate this story so much is because I can relate her character with me.

I used to have a tough schooldays at an elite school. I thought I was never born to be part of the community because of my moderate background and I’ve seen many kinds of emotional bully that haunted me long enough. Although I have blamed God countless of times, I still managed to go through the ordeal and walked out as a unique individual. I didn’t realize that while I was busy blaming Him, He lifted me along the journey and only let me walk on my own when I was strong enough. Now that I have left schooldays behind me, this movie character reminds me that some of us might have extraordinary hard teenagehood with all this struggle to match others, but if we could survive it there is a reward waiting for us. People just know that you’re different in a special way. People just know that there’s something about you that they won’t find in many. And if you can use your gifts well, you can touch and inspire a lot of people out there. You make the Ugly Ducklings believe that they are different because they are the few special individuals who can bring so much impact in others. They are the hope that anybody can raise above the standard.

So she finally attended the prom once again. This time her prom nitemare was turning exactly the opposite. The cutest guy asked her out, instead of the other famous girls around. She dressed herself in a beautiful gown that made her steal the nite. She finally experience the kind of prom that she always dreamt of. With all the kids praised her, and even the teacher. She finally won herself the Prom Queen of the nite. It was a total "payback" for the humiliated prom girl back hen. When she saw one nerdy girl was about to get a prank on that nite, she saw “herself” and all the memories flashed back. She finally risked her undercover mission when she saved the girl from the prank and finally revealed herself. She threw her Prom Queen crown and told the kids that,

“There is a big world out there, bigger than prom, bigger than highschool. It won’t matter if you were the prom queen or the quarterback of the football team or biggest nerd in the school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.”

Her undercover mission was finally a Mission to find herself. She finally brave enough to approach her dream that one day she gonna find the perfect man to share the Real Kiss that

"When you kiss someone, everything around you becomes hazy, and the only thing in focus is you and this person. And you realize that the person is the only person that you’re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment, you get this amazing gift, and you wanna laugh and you wanna cry, cos you feel so lucky that you’ve found it and so scared that it will go away all the same time.” Yeah… those were her words. :)

Never let anything hold you back. Be who you are and believe that you are worthy of your dream.

Wonderful :)

Do You Want To Know Everything?

I Don’t.

If you say yes, get ready to land yourself in disaster. Get ready to be badly hurt and get ready to turn crazy. Now you know why I don’t want to know everything?

2 days ago, my bestfriend texted me almost midnite. She wrote, “Help me, Please!!!!” This was her story. A few days before that, she asked her husband whether or not he contacted any of his exes, he said nope but if he has the chance, he might. But just as friends. She believed. So 2 days ago, out of nowhere, she was thinking of “knowing more” than what she was told. So she hacked in her husband’s e-mail and what she found there led her to texting me to ask for help. What do you think?

She found out that her husband has been e-mailing a few female friends and she even saw him sweet-talked them, just like the kind of language he used on her. She said there were a few names she didn’t recognized and she even noted the part where his husband planned to meet this one particular lady when she arrives at KK. My bestfriend almost exploded with anger, she felt like her whole body was shivering out of anger, out of jealousy, out of – pheww… you name it. All the different feelings and emotions. The rages within her. So indescribable. Like never before.

That time when it took place, the husband was not there. He was busy with his brother’s wedding, while my bestfriend was at home busy digging his husband “extra activity” and trying to find out if he was anyway cheating on her. Before that, I want to let you guys know that I know her husband. He’s the same person I referred to in the post “Husband Mithali” because he’s the type of husband who does house chores when his wife is too tired, or even the one who wakes at nite to give milk to the baby. I can assure that he’s not a womanizer and he is never the type of guy who gets attention. I know since he was with us since college years. So my friend has very little reason to doubt in him actually. Until she looked for trouble herself and dug into what she shouldn’t have known. I mean, at least her husband needs some private space for himself right? This is what happens when you want to know EVERYTHING. You find issues to hurt yourself.

Just because of what she found out that time, she even made a series of plan should she catches her husband cheating on her, like “I will run away, and I’m taking my baby with me.” I was like, My oh my… STOP IT!! I went into Fb chat to talk to her and I got to calm her down. “Assumptions can kill us!! Stop doing it!!” She asked herself all the What If questions. She started to imagine what could happen, what had happen and all the likes. All those things she has not read from the e-mail. She exaggerates things and her thoughts running wild on the worst case scenario. Just with a slight discovery, I could tell her heart was bleeding.

She told me, “I shouldn’t have hacked into his e-mail. That’s my fault. And come to think about his e-mail to the ladies, I imagine that I would do the same if I were him, and maybe worse. Even now, I’ve been flirting with guys at the office, telling nasty jokes that enough to make him divorce me if he’s wearing the same mind I’m wearing now. Now I can’t explain why I feel so bad when my rational mind tells me it’s nothing wrong with all the e-mail.”

I said to her, “Don’t do that again!! I have adapted this new policy that I Don’t Want To Know Everything because it only gives our mind so much power to manipulate our emotions which most of the time, is only misleading. So I know how tough it could be that’s why I finally come to a realization that it’s BEST to let things unknown UNLESS it can change things to better. If it’s other than that, let it be. Let it go.

Maybe that’s why now I’m taking a different approach. The good thing is that I LET PEOPLE keep their secret. As long as the secret has nothing harmful to do with me, I just let it be. Who the person is since I am in his life is all that matters to me. How the person treats me is all that matters to me. Maybe he had a bitter past. Maybe he was never a good boyfriend to anyone. Maybe he was the rudest and most egoistic guy that pissed the girls off. What matters to me is the person with me is the BEST and renewed version of whoever he used to be. The rest, he could keep his bitter past unless he wants to share it with me so we can laugh at it together. *giggles.

So if you tend to open someone’s secret box and what comes out with it is a poison that could take your life away from you, YOU CHOOSE if that’s worth it. My bestfriend learnt her lesson that nite and I’m sure, she’s much wiser now. Never try to FORCE truth to unfold anymore than you need just enough to get you a good life you have now. We don’t want anymore conflicts. We don’t want anymore jealousies. We don’t want anymore heartaches. Enuff if Enuff. Give our loved ones their own private space cos you know you need one too.

NOTE: Suddenly I feel like saying something. To those who Trust me, THANKS. :)

"My Life As A Mimosa Pudica"

 

 

To those out there who have tried to get close to me or even tried to know me better and still failed, or those who have been friends with me and still think I was one of the most difficult persons to make friends with, I admitted all that. I was easy to at one point, but the closer you get, the farther I go. Winesimpsons dubbed me as “Semalu” a.k.a Mimosa Pudica because he said I maybe nice to look at, but when one tries to touch me, I tend to be defensive and put the shield all around me. Just like the leaves of Mimosa Pudica that are sensitive to movement. They will close if they sense any movement like touching, blowing, warming or shaking. Thanks Wine for such an understanding for my characters. He’s been appreciating my piece of writings since the early days, and he’s approached me in different ways, and he has eventually spent talking with me on the phone for at least 5 hours. He has reasons why he picked this plant to best describe me. Haha.

So much for my online identity, some people thought this is all plotted. No I don’t have time to make a plot before I do this identity. At this point, my online friends still don’t know who I really am in real life. They saw some of my pictures in Fb at one angle, and never the full pictures. Sometimes I showed the lips and the chin, and sometimes the lips and the cheek, and only whole half side of my face. One of my online friends thought I purposely did it so that they could solve a puzzle. He said he collected all the pieces and solve the jigsaw puzzle of my whole face. I said, Ouch? Did you just make me one subject of CSI? Yeah, you read right. Did you guys have any experience close to this?

I love my internet identity. Although it was totally unplanned, I love how I managed things so far. With some rules that I set from the beginning, I am doing it quite well by far. Now that after two years, I still find myself saying that if I just reveal myself, what gonna happen to 256? It’s strange how I see it, right? I even give myself the option that if my online world and reality gonna combine, it’s the end of Twofivesix[256]. I don’t know why I put this rule. I can still bring my online identity to the real world without losing anything, can’t I? The anonymousness of my blog, my freedom to write without people being prejudice at me – Am I going to risk all those? Some people surely think that I am strange enough to take this approach with my online identity. I don’t care. This is the way I want to do it. As a result, I am so far very pleased with “Twofivesix[256]”. I don’t have to mix it with my reality. I don’t go online just to get extra dose of my reality. But if you ask me does my online world actually matter anything Real to me? The answer is YES. You guys always make my day :) 

Just that, I haven’t found the comfort point where my online and reality could mix into one without this insecurity that I’m gonna lose something that I have since 2 years. Some people thought I was too secretive. The more secretive I am, the more the want to dig my secrets. Speaking of my secrets, like I have been telling some of these close online friends, you’ll be surprised to know that I don’t have a lot of secrets actually. The one who try to dig my details could have more secrets than me. YOU could have more secrets than me. I have a simple life. If you meet me at once, I think that’s it for me. I won’t have secrets to keep with my current life. Try and consider to believe that. Hahaha.

Do you guys have any idea how much Privacy means to me? Did you guys remember the day when my blog went off for more than a week? I tell you guys what happened that time. I accidentally put a post that I typed offline, in a pendrive that I passed to my brother. When he passed me back the pendrive, then only I realized that I have saved there a post and a picture to go with the post that has the address of my blog. I was so panic and I felt so terrible that I just decided to set my blog to Invite Only. I remember it felt so bad with all the assumptions going around in my head that NOW my brother knew my online identity. After more than a week, my loyal readers started complaining that they could not go in. Because of my policy, I didn't know my readers' e-mail to make them able to go in the blog. I just lost the drive to update the blog that time because I knew nobody could go in and read. Finally I got my senses back and RISKed my confidentiality that if my online identity had to leak that way, I accepted it. I told myself that even if my family and my friends gonna find my blog accidentally, I have nothing to be ashamed of. I think they gonna love it anyway *Lols. But it sure would hurt me so much because it would feel like I fail to protect my own online identity. Yes, that's how important it is for me. 

For now, maybe I am still a Mimosa Pudica. And although I am just a Mimosa Pudica, I already feel so appreciated to be among you guys. You guys still take me as part of this online community. You guys still treat me as a friend in Facebook and even in chatroom. I appreciate all that. Thanks guys. 

Last but not least, there are just too many riddles going on about me. Maybe I don’t really make it easy for those who are curious about my personal life. I don’t mean to confuse anybody so don’t confuse yourself or get confused. Maybe things are not as complicated as you think but even if they are, just don’t bother. Time will tell. Hahahahaha. Riddles again, huh.

As for being dubbed as a Mimosa Pudica, yeah, it might suit me in one way. It would be best to describe how far I go to protect my online identity from my real world and my real world from my online identity. Maybe it 's not so much about protecting, but it's just a challenge that I give myself to be able to follow the rules of the game. After two years of being Twofivesix[256] and still keep things under control, such an accomplishment to me. 


Thanks for accepting my way, thanks for understanding and thanks for making me feel so part of you guys. :) 


God bless everyone.

“Ini Pun Kamu Tidak Tau Kah?”

I went to this large stationary store looking for laser jet transparency film. I tried to look for it myself but I could not find it on the rack. I saw these 2 salesgirls chatting at one corner and I asked them about the transparency. They all turned blank. I described that this is the plastic that used for presentation using projector and when they heard the word “project”, they simply forgot the rest of the sentences and showed me the binding set of paper usually used for school project. “No, not that one. This one looks like plastic cover.” They immediately went to get the PVC plastic cover and showed it to me, “You mean this, right?” I said, “Yes, like that. But NOT that. This one is specially made for presentation. You can photocopy on it.” They scratched head still looking blank.

I started to feel a bit pissed.

One of the girls said to me, “I think you can still use this plastic cover to replace that.” Oh gosh. Now that pissed me off. I said, “No, they are different.” They called another and another salesperson around the shop and NOBODY knew what I was looking for. One person came, I have to repeat the sentence. “I’m looking for transparency film”. After saying that, what I got was another blank look. OMIGAWD you are working in a stationary shop for Pete’s sake!!!

I was taking my time and I stood there looking silly, as if I just came from another planet with all these people looking at me saying a language they didn’t understand. Yes of course I was pissed! I said,

“Omigawd, ini pun kamu tidak tau kah?” Yes I raised my voice cos I was so pissed. When you work at a stationary shop, you don’t even know the common stationary that are there in the shop? If you can’t even do this, what else you can do???

Finally, I found the film myself at the rack nearby. I felt bad a bit because I think that they might think I was one rude customer. But hey, it’s so irritating, now I understand what’s inside the mind of one irritating customer. Sometimes they just want some reasonable efficiency around bah. If you are a postman, you don’t come to me to ask how to look for the address on the letter, or where exactly is Penampang, or Papar or Kepayan to send the letters to. My oh my…That’s your job ba kan?

Moral Of The Story: You must know how to do the job, AT LEAST the job you are paid to do. :)

Falling Before Meeting: Possible?

Have you ever fell in love with someone you have not even met? Ask yourself that. If yes, means you have the answer to the title. Yes, It’s Possible!!

Last nite, a chatfriend brought this up. He said that “How can you fall in love with me when you don’t even meet me yet?” He did say anyway that at least you use webcam or call everyday, Maybe. So what he meant here is when you fall in love with someone with the limited way of conversation. Maybe just chatting or texting. So what do you think?

This is what I answered him. I said, “Love grows in the heart.” Maybe it’s not so much about visuals or things – cos when you feel the spark, it just happens. So when this happens, some people call it with different names. As long as there’s a name. So it just happens that they call it Love :)

Maybe some of you argue or doubt that this is Love. Hey…hey…come on. Let me share my view. It doesn’t matter what they call it. You know that there is something special has taken place been you and that someone. What if they have very lack of vocabulary, the best word they can think of is “Oh I Love The Person”. So if you don’t agree what they call it, does it matter? You know something is happening in your heart. Maybe your heartbeat is getting faster when you think about the person. Or you can feel adrenaline rush when you see the person’s nick around. You see that? You don’t plan what gonna happen to you. You don’t plan when all your nerve system and brains start to act funny when you think about someone. Although what you have in mind might not be that visual enough, but WHAT TO DO when you still undergo all the auto reactions? Maybe there’s something about the person that stimulates your senses that causes all that reactions. Then if all that happens, what’s wrong if they choose to call it Love?

Maybe it’s just admiration. Maybe it’s just infatuation. Maybe it’s just feeling of awe. The real thing could be anything but it doesn’t matter what the word is. You just know it’s so overwhelming and it engulfs you with nice feelings. So the question is, does all this take place only after you meet the person? You can meet the person millions of times and still No Sparks happens. I’m sorry to say that I don’t think our feelings follow any system or procedure. When you feel something, you just feel it.

So when 2 people who have not met but declared love for each other, I’d say just give them the chance to see where it’s taking them. We, who are not in the picture shouldn’t worry so much whether or not they use the Right word to call their feelings. To me anything good that has started somewhere could go far from there. Just give them the chance to explore the feelings. This thing with our hearts knows no rules :) So now why you question when they claim to fall in love before they even meet? When they eventually meet, they will redefine the whole thing.

It’s all good, guys. Just let them be so they have a story to tell, a unique story that defies conventionality. I'd say, Why Not :)

Blue Or Red Ink?

What colour you dislike the most when looking at your Report Card back in school? Red of course!! Hahahahahaha. But today I found out something else. For the married couple, Red Ink is what they want to see! Hehehe.

Okay, don't give me that look. I'm just sharing my joy with my female friend who dropped by just now. I asked her, "What's new with you?" She said, "Macam-macamlah." Then I asked her, "So what about now. You pregnant sudah ka?" With her eyes wide opened, she said, "YES!!! How did you know??" I was like, "Whattt?? Omigawddd I was just guessing!!"

Hahahahahahahaha.

Yes, I'm happy for her. Pregnancy becomes an issue in her life after she's been married for more than 1 year. The mother-in-law made some hurting accusations that she could be infertile. She "ran" away from the house for quite a few times just because of that. Now you know why I am happy when she finally is pregnant. *giggles. She brought with me the test results since last year so I borrowed and scanned it and put here. Anyway I'm happy for her. Hopefully this pregnancy gonna change their life to better.

Note: Nope, that's not my result lah. Gila ka... *Lols

Everyone Asks For...

Everyone asks for a miracle. Some a house, some a car,and some for love. Be happy with what you have and remember: your miracle is that your alive today.

I Got Bitten

He, The Way I Remember Him

It's funny when you still talk about your ex. Not all of them (considering you have more than 1 ex), but just this particular one. Even after years not hearing from him, what makes a lady still talking about the freaking ex?

Now it's my turn since it's my blog. I want to talk about this particular ex of mine. Even if the breakup did make me us both cry, even if I thought he hurt me, but actually he got the most wounds. It was me who break his heart. Until today, I still have good memories of him. Not all the details actually, JUST THE WAY HE TREATED ME.

The more and more guys I found after him, made me realize that not ALL men are like him. Even if he was fierce with jealousy, but one thing that he NEVER failed me. He has always protected me. ALWAYS. In everyway. Even when he was so in pain because of me, he NEVER FAILED me that one thing. Even when I was not being the way he wanted me to, he NEVER failed to protect me.

Although there was a time he wanted to "hide" me from the world, like when he won't mention my birthday in public because he didn't want to see people started greeting or wishing me that would make him jealous. He said to me, "I'm bad, right? I don't want people to know that today is your birthday." I just smiled because I understood him. To me it didn't matter if people wished me or not. I didn't think I was denied a right. I still remember when he was around while I was chatting in chatroom, he would kick anyone who mention my nick. he would curse anyone who said something bad to me, he would NOT let anyone type my nick for any suspicious sentence - like, "I had a wet dream of you last nite o". He would immediately talked to the person, "You don't write something like that about my gf? I don't like it." Because of his way, I remember having to apologize to some people for his behaviour. I said, Sorryy sorryy. He only wanted to protect me. Yes, Protect Me.

My oh My. That was him. Maybe it doesn't take a genius why I'm still talking about him. Not even in my intention to meet him back, Nope. I just know I remember him in a certain way that is special enough that I could talk about it again and again without losing its value. Even on the last day that we spoke, he STILL never failed to protect me. He NEVER said anything BAD to me even if he was so hurting inside. Even the breakup was said by me because he WON'T say it. This man has learnt how to take care of my heart so carefully. He knew how fragile I was. Anything bad that comes out from his mouth would make me cry. The last time he accidentally raised his voice, I cried right away. That was the old version of 256. He accepted me just as I was. He adjusted to my ways and he never complained about my childishness. 

Even when we were having our final conflict, he did not use anything that he has about me to get back to me. Not even anyone in his family got access to my stuff in his belongings, or even spread stories or gossips about me. Even if his siblings or family had a reason to at least consult me or get clarification from me, he did not let them get into our business. If he could not settle things with me, he let it remain unsettled. He won't pass a matter for other people to settle for him. He NEVER passed my details to Anyone. Not even my phone number, not even my e-mail or my address, that could make others get access to me without my permission. That was how he protected me. 

Yeah, maybe I used to get pampered too much by this ex of mine. I would not scared to tell that if I were ready back then, I could be married to him now. It was because of my failure to commit that we broke up. Despite his other bad habits that I dislike, I made them a reason why I was not ready to tie a knot with him. But after I came across more and more men who are MORE good looking than him, why am I still talking about his protectiveness? 

I'm sorry if he made me a demanding girlfriend. Or maybe I shouldn't say sorry at all. Cos the fact that I have become a lady who is very different after I broke up with him. The fact is, I am not as demanding as I was with him. I become someone "simplified" and to the point. I don't fancy sugarcoated words or expensive gifts like what my ex used to lavish me with. I totally think that I have become so rational after his chapter. No, I won't say sorry for who I am now. Cos who I am now is a LOT better than my version that he had to handle. 

Maybe it's just the guys that I meet after him - Yes, you maybe more good looking. Yes, you maybe more attractive. Yes - you maybe ALL that compared to him. But one thing that he still did better than you, is that he Protected Me. He could be helpless when he was having financial problems or health problems. But he was NEVER helpless when it comes to keeping my matter confidential. Or maybe you guys think I ask too much. At least I found a guy who never give any way for anyone to humiliate or embarrass me or disturb my feeling. I don't say that I regret that you guys are not as protective as him, but sorry, inability for others to do that just make me remember how protective this man has been to me. Although I don't miss him anymore, I just wish that... the one by my side would AT LEAST try so hard to protect me as much as he did.

:)

8 Things You Didn't Know About Dreams

Source: Yahoo Health

1. Dreaming can help you learn.

If you’re studying for a test or trying to learn a new task, you might consider taking a nap or heading to bed early rather than hovering over a textbook an hour longer. Here’s why: When the brain dreams, it helps you learn and solve problems, say researchers at Harvard Medical School. In a study that appeared in a recent issue of Current Biology, researchers report that dreams are the brain’s way of processing, integrating and understanding new information. To improve the quality of your sleep—and your brain’s ability to learn—avoid noise in the bedroom, such as the TV, which may negatively impact the length and quality of dreams.

2. The most common dream? Your spouse is cheating.

If you’ve ever woken up in a cold sweat after dreaming about your husband’s extramarital escapade with your best friend, you’re not alone, says Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, a dream expert, author and media personality. “The most commonly reported dream is the one where your mate is cheating,” she says. Loewenberg conducted a survey of more than 5,000 people, and found that the infidelity dream is the nightmare that haunts most people—sometimes on a recurring basis. It rarely has anything to do with an actual affair, she explains, but rather the common and universal fear of being wronged or left alone.

3. You can have several—even a dozen—dreams in one night.

It’s not just one dream per night, but rather dozens of them, say experts—you just may not remember them all. “We dream every 90 minutes throughout the night, with each cycle of dreaming being longer than the previous,” explains Loewenberg. “The first dream of the night is about 5 minutes long and the last dream you have before awakening can be 45 minutes to an hour long.” It is estimated that most people have more than 100,000 dreams in a lifetime.

4. You can linger in a dream after waking.

Have you ever woken up from such a beautiful, perfect dream that you wished you could go back to sleep to soak it all up (you know, the dream about George Clooney?)? You can! Just lie still—don’t move a muscle—and you can remain in a semi-dreamlike state for a few minutes. “The best way to remember your dreams is to simply stay put when you wake up,” says Loewenberg. “Remain in the position you woke up in, because that is the position you were dreaming in. When you move your body, you disconnect yourself from the dream you were just in seconds ago.”

5. Even bizarre dreams can be interpreted.

While it can be hard to believe that an oddball dream about your mother, a circus and a snowstorm can have any bearing on real life, there may be symbolism and potential meaning to be mined in every dream—you just have to look for it, says Harvard-trained psychotherapist Jeffrey Sumber. "The meaning of our dreams oftentimes relates to things we are needing to understand about ourselves and the world around us,” he says. Instead of shrugging off strange dreams, think about how they make you feel. “We tend to dismiss these dreams due to the strange components, yet it is the feeling we have in these dreams that matters most,” he explains. “Sometimes the circus and the snowstorm are just fillers that allow us to process the range of emotions we feel about our mother and give us the necessary distraction so we can actually experience that spectrum of emotion.”

6. Recurring dreams may be your mind’s way of telling you something.

Do you have the same nightmare over and over again? Loewenberg suggests looking for underlying messages in recurring dreams so that you can rid yourself of them. For example, a common recurring nightmare people have involves losing or cracking their teeth. For this dream, she recommends that people think about what your teeth and your mouth represent. “To the dreaming mind, your teeth, as well as any part of your mouth, are symbolic of your words,” she says. “Paying attention to your teeth dreams helps you to monitor and improve the way you communicate.”

7. You can control your dreams.

The premise of the new movie Inception is that people can take the reins of their dreams and make them what they want them to be. But it may not just be a Hollywood fantasy. According to the results of a new survey of 3,000 people, dream control, or “lucid dreaming” may be a real thing. In fact, 64.9 percent of participants reported being aware they were dreaming within a dream, and 34 percent said they can sometimes control what happens in their dreams. Taking charge of the content of your dreams isn’t a skill everyone has, but it can be developed, says Kelly Bulkeley, PhD, a dream researcher and visiting scholar at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkley, California. The technique is particularly useful for people who suffer from recurring nightmares, he says. Dr. Bulkeley suggests giving yourself a pep talk of sorts before you go to sleep by saying: “If I have that dream again, I’m going to try to remember that’s it’s only a dream, and be aware of that.” When you learn to be aware that you are dreaming—within a dream—you not only have the power to steer yourself away from the monster and into the arms of Brad Pitt, for instance, but you train your mind to avoid nightmares in the first place. “Lucid dreaming enhances your ability to learn from the dream state,” says Dr. Bulkeley.

8. You don’t have to be asleep to dream.

Turns out, you can dream at your desk at work, in the car, even at your kid’s soccer game. Wakeful dreaming—not to be confused with daydreaming—is real and somewhat easy to do, says Dr. Bulkeley; it just involves tapping into your active imagination. The first step is to think about a recent dream you had (preferably a good one!). “Find a quiet contemplative place and bring a dream that you remember back into your waking awareness and let it unfold,” he says. “Let the dream re-energize.” Wakeful dreaming can be used as a relaxation tool, but Dr. Bulkeley says it can also help your mind process a puzzling dream. “It creates a more fluid interaction between unconscious parts of the mind and wakeful parts of the mind,” he says.

When The Girls Fight, Who Is Innocent?

Finally…finally…after watching it on tv entertainment gossips, and from dramas and movies, and the rest I listened directly from the owner of the body who got insulted by another woman, whose man was “stolen” by the other woman – Do I really know how it feels to be in the shoes of the woman who got insulted for the same accusation?

I’m sorry if this sounds cynical that instead of trying to fight along, I make this another study case. I always wonder…in the situation where a man has eyes on another woman when he already has a woman, why we end up seeing both women argue and curse each other? And yes, suddenly the guy was out of view. I mean, something very wrong about that, don’t you think?

I remember this episode of Melodi on TV3. That time they were interviewing Amyza Adnan, a local actress, who was so enraged with this other woman who she said was disturbing his husband. She was so mad that she said she would step on the woman’s pregnant belly if she saw her eye to eye. And then, to get the other side of the story, they got the other woman on camera and asked her directly whether or not she was having an affair with Amyza’s husband, and the woman said she was happily married but it was Amyza’s husband who could not forget her. She even said that on the day of Amyza’s wedding, the husband sneaked out and gave her a gold bracelet as a sign of his affection. I am not so sure if I got every details right but I was so sure that Amyza was attacking the woman as if she was the one who was all over her husband. Or maybe even if she knew that her husband had something to do with the affair, but she still blamed it all on the other woman. It’s like, “Hey you know he’s my man, why do you still flirt with him?”

And another reality case that I came across with recently, was this peculiar wedding. I know their strange story because the mom and the mom-in-law of the bride were my customers. Instead of 1 bride, there were 2 brides in the pictures. I did not ask anything. It was the bride’s mom that told me everything. The story began when the guy got engaged to her daughter. After that he went for a 6-month vacation to his hometown, the Philippines. During that 6 months, something happened. The guy fell in love with another girl and the girl got pregnant and the girl’s father married them off to make sure the guy bear responsible for the baby. After that, the couple came back to Sabah and broke the news to the fiancée. Of course it broke her heart. Maybe out of pity and love, the guy said he still wanted to marry the fiancée. It was then the fiancée’s decision to marry him or not. The fiancée said, Yes I will still marry him, Out Of Revenge. She wanted to marry the guy so that the other girl felt the same pain that she felt. I mean, Wow… Don’t tell me who is innocent or guilty, what’s clear is one person is winning!!! The Man!! 

The girls argue and the man looks like Oops, I’m Innocent! I don’t mean to switch the limelight lenses on the man now. No. What I am trying to make you girls see is Use your freaking Sanity!! It takes 2 to tango. If the man has an affair with another woman, they are both accountable for the affair and not the woman alone. Instead of attacking the other woman, you should go consult your man first. Ask What’s Wrong!! Of course the third person is The Most Evil Bitch that you can think of when you are so angry. Or people who are looking at a triangle love think that the second woman should be stoned to death! Am I right? I can’t stop you from having your view. You can try anything to stop that affair, but if you don’t solve it from the root, I don’t think it’s gonna work. They are grown up people. They will sneak behind you or do steal and space to talk or meet behind your back if the affair is with the consent of both. 

I know it’s so easy for me to write all this. I don’t think the girls whose men got stolen are all bad girls to be getting such karma. And please note that not all 3rd persons (the second girl) are bad girls too. How she got herself in the mess could be unintentional. It’s from others that I learn that people have never stopped looking for love even after they got married. Also consider the fact that people change, love fades away, and things do run their course eventually. Everyone is just looking for a happier life. 

If I were the girl whose man was stolen by someone, of course it gonna be so painful. But there is certain point where I think I just can’t force things to happen my way. Maybe my rational mind would tell me there’s something about me that makes my man find another woman. I don’t give MEN the green light to change their hearts, but remember, you (ladies) are human too. When you have lost your feelings towards the man you give your word too, maybe I don’t have to squeeze my mind trying to explain that it could happen to anybody. When it happens, it’s not so easy to just undo the whole thing.

If I were the girl who was accused of stealing someone else’s man, like starting to be getting swearing SMS and messages from the man’s girl, I won’t fight back. I tell you WHY I won’t fight back. First, I am a grown up lady. I spent my freaking years in school maybe not really about reading books but schooling and experiences have taught me some wisdom to live life. If you think I’m going to bring my level down just because of this, and repeat the same show that I watched on tv, or just add to the statistics of “Women who fight over a man” – DREAM ON…cos if you can swear and curse at me like I am just a piece of sheitz on the street, just by doing that only make you Exactly that. It shows your mentality, it shows your childishness and it shows that it’s A LONG way for you before you reach that mind level can make you survive this harshness of life. Trust me, this life can be REALLY gruesomely harsh at times. You can’t survive with that. TRUST ME.

Today I am thanking myself for being difficult, inaccessible and emotionless because these traits have saved me from getting into the mess of stupidity. My concept is very simple. I won’t fight for, over a man. It’s a man’s job to fight his way to get what he wants. This alone will prove to you what kind of man you have become at this level. Are you a fighter? Or A Loser. I’m sorry I am not that smart to figure it out for you. 

And girls, you want to continue fighting over a man, I’m afraid when you finally done with your anger and revenge, you have come to the end of your life. Life ends anytime. Never think it’s too long that you can practice all the bad virtues first before you can practice the goods. If you want to fight, go ahead. I’m not interested. I have so much works to do for my life. :)

I have stated my views. Suit Yourself. :)

Blogwalking Award 2010 - My Turn To Do The Tag

Thanks sweet Stella for tagging me :)

1. Apakah yang bermain di kepala anda sekarang?

Wow…provided that I have a hyper brain – 1. I can’t wait to go to the office tomorrow and do many things around it…oh my why am I still excited ahahaha 2. What to do tonite before I sleep soundly 3. What are the foods available to line up for me to be my dinner and supper tonite 4. When am I going to get up from this chair and take bath 5. Should I wash my hair or not and I thought maybe not. 6. I want to clean up my room, tonite could be the nite but I don’t know where to start Soo much things to be done. *Lols 7. I like number 7 so I usually save the best for last and it belongs to number 7 which you’re not get for free… *Lols

2. Apa nama samaran anda.

I know this is funny but my online friends call me 256, so it’s either Twofivesix or Dualimaenam or Duvohimoonom *Lols. Okay it’s funny I don’t mind if you laugh. Hehehe

3. Siapakah 3 orang yang paling anda sayang?

Aiyooo…ini sia nda mau jawab sebab sepa yang disebut kemudian akan rasa dorang kurang disayang. This might create room for uneasiness hehe. So cakap di mulut pun teda guna. It’s about how I treat them. Nanti sia cakap sia sayang si polan bin si polan, dia cakap Manadaaa kau sayang sia. Kau slalu nda peduli sia. Nahh… nakamalu la sia tu kalau mcm gitu. So sia nda akan say it usually, but I SHOW. Don’t worry the 3 people should know. *giggles.

4. Panggilan Untuk si Dia

Okay, let me try to Not skip this question this time. Erks, can I skip this? Hahahahahahhaa. “Dear can you answer this for me? Hahahaha

5. Hadiah yang diimpikan daripada seseorang yang istimewa.

His loyalty.

6. Blog mana yang anda selalu lawat?

Entertainment gossips!! If I have time after that, I visit the most intriguing topics on my list. Hehe. So it can be your blog too. :)

7. Tagkan kepada 15 blogger.

Gosh 15? Hahahaha. That’s so much for a not very social blogger like me hehe. So whoever happens to read this blog and you feel like you have 15 friends to tag, maybe you should do it and go ahead and tag them and see how they answer the questions. *giggles.

“Just Be That Dinosaur, I Told Her”

Sometimes when you are having a personal crises within yourself, you could be giving yourself peculiar options that only other people can see how stupid they are. During the hangout with my friends recently, my bestfriend asked our opinion on this. She started with…

“Consider the options that I have now, ok. I have been thinking of quitting my job and start a business. Do you think it’s worth it? Cos if I don’t quit my job, it’s whether I become this Dinosaur in the department, who is considered experienced and senior compared to the new staff but still remain doing the same post for years, or I try to become a professional engineer IR which gonna take some time but achievable, but I saw my superiors, and their workload isn’t easy. Considering that now I am already too busy that my man even complains that I only have time for work, I can’t imagine if I get busier than this. Then the best thing is maybe to quit my job and do business on my own so I don’t have to deal with this.”

By the time I listened to her words, I didn’t take that much effort to come up with an answer. I told her, “Just Be That Dinosaur.”

My other friends laughed at my answer. They thought I was joking. But guess what, I was giving the my real view on her situation. Since that it wasn’t the first time when she posed me a question like that, I knew the nature of that little thought inside her of quitting her job. She thought it was too hectic. She wanted more personal time for herself and her family. Her job doesn’t make it possible. And she thought that she has to get stuck there for the rest of her life because applying to get a promotion is not going spell things well for her judging from her current situation when her man always made it an issue of argument when she keep saying I’m Busy. Her man couldn’t understand the demand of her job. Yes I understand that. It doesn’t take a genius. Although the job is making her busy, but it’s the job that is giving her the life that she has now. She has everything under good care because her financial situation allows it so. She doesn’t have to worry about money. She can spend all she wants. She can go where she wants if her time allows. Another thing is she is worried about becoming “The dinosaur” because of other’s perception of her that she is considered senior staff but never get promoted. I said to her, “So you are worried about what others gonna say when you still at your chair after years working?” She paused and said nothing. Maybe she was thinking of what to say. “This thing about other people, let me tell you. They gonna talk what they want and when you get too worried of their impression about you, look at them, do they have a life half as good as yours? If you quit your job just because you don’t want to be A Dinosaur, these people are not there for you when you don’t have enough money for your monthly spending. These people won’t be there for you if you fail in your business attempt. I’m not trying to be negative here but I tell you what’s the reality of business today. To start a business is so easy but to make it successful, tell me why do you have to go through all this when your professionalism is already at your grab? We are talking about all this because you are considering of letting go something that is SURE you can pull off satisfactorily. The last person I know who quit job to look for a greener pasture that he has lack skills on, now living in hardship because of the decision to let go the job he was so good in. It’s whether he was greedy or bored, you must weigh the good and bad consequences from your options. Every work has its own pain and struggle. Once you venture into business, you are starting from zero. If you are not used to this mental challenge, maybe you would get discouraged in a short time. By that time you have lost many things that you won’t even have to consider losing if you just tolerate with the thought of staying as A Dinosaur.

They laughed at me because I sounded like I was being cynical. Then my bestfriend hugged my arm and said, “Okayyyyy You are right! I won’t quit my job!!!!!” Okay, then she agrees to be the Dinosaur, guys… *Lols.

Don’t get beaten up by the mental challenges. These challenges are the biggest cos you don’t know how your own mental can be your biggest enemy that attempt to change your life into a bad way. Positive thinking is good, Yes, I know. But positive thinking must come with other “equipments” then only it can give you positive results. It’s a world full of temptations and challenges. One wrong step is all you need to turn things upside down. Be rational. Dinosaur or not, it’s too small to make it a big deal. Or if you insist, just be a Dinosaur that is wearing a diamond crown. I’m sure everyone won’t laugh at you. They now WANT to be a dinosaur like you too. Hahahahaha :)