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Saturday, October 24, 2009

To Use And Be Used – More Normal Than What You Would Admit

Di dalam hidup ni, you guys might hate to admit facts that sound like devilish, such as using your own friend or family to get what you want, but the fact is, it is something that we do all the time!!

Maybe it’s too small to be detected or defined – but we humans, we have our daily needs. To get something, to achieve something or just to make our lives better – yup, sometimes we don’t realize that we are using other people to get there. Maybe not exactly like “stepping on their back” and hurt them. That’s the beauty of it. Sometimes they don’t even know that we are using them, because they feel like they also have a share of joy while they are being used by us. In the other hand, we don’t realize that it’s also that often that we are in the place of the person to is being used. So agree or not, our life is full of people using and getting used!!

For example. You just broken up from a long relationship. You feel so devastated by your sudden singleness. You need someone to make up for that empty space. So you meet new people, you might even flirt a bit just to make it even fun. They new friends that you make don’t know that you look for them because you want to kill your loneliness. You spend one day talking with them on YM or SMS or even call, just so you can slow down on your thoughts of your past love. Yes, it appears that you’re exchanging laughs and smiles and thoughts – but actually, you know that it is all in the surface only. Your heart is still bleeding. The moment you stop talking with these new friends, it will continue to bleed profusely. Then, you have to continue getting in touch with people just for the sake of slowing down your aching heart. They new girls that you make friends with, might feel that this is MORE than just a “slowing down hurting process”cos they might enjoy your company so much. They laugh at your jokes and they feel like you’re like a new friend who they have always asked for. But for you, this could end anytime. They are there just because you need their urgent companion. You see that? You’re actually using them for your own good, but they don’t know it because they are having fun too.

Another example. A friend or family asks for your favour. They tell you that, they want to promote your work to other people, but actually they only want to get your favour for free. At the same time, you don’t see that you are being used because you’re busy trying to prove your skill and get recognized for it. You don’t know that the whole idea is started from a friend trying to save cost to get something that is reasonably good – and you are the best option there is. So, again, someone is using someone and someone is getting used by someone. It happens all the time!!

The good news is, sometimes it starts that way, but it eventually leads to something good. Sebab, sepa tau yg akhirnya gara2 kau mau buang boring or sunyi, kau akhirnya betul2 sangkut dengan kawan baru kau tu. Then, you might as well don’t have to tell everything yg u come to her sebab dia ja yang sudi mau mendengar luahan hati kau tu. Memang life macam ni. We have a way of getting what we want, and we use all the “tools” available for us to achieve what we want. It’s a painful fact to agree on, but it’s as normal as drinking water. You don’t even know that it should be given a term because everyone does it!

So…in the journey of using and being used – as long as everybody does something that benefits them, then maybe we can just let it be. Cos the foundation is right from the beginning, no matter if we are using or being used, we all gain something good from it. It all that matters right? :)

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