“I Don’t Know What To Answer You”

You asked me,

How can I tell a person that I don’t love him anymore?

I went silent.

And then you asked me more,

How can I let someone know the truth without hurting him?

I went silent again.

How to make someone understand that though I think we are not good as lovers, I don’t want to lose his friendship?

Again, I spoke nothing.

How to let him know that I know I am guilty of this change of feelings, but I am totally helpless because now I’m in love with another person?

You guessed it. Nothing but silence.

There are thousands of questions in this world that need answers. If you ask how the Earth is formed, one man said that God made this world in 6 days, and the other one said that it all started with a massive explosion called The Big Bang. At least, they have an answer. At least, it’s going somewhere. But that’s different. Science is everything that you can prove and explain. But feelings are different. Our intangible human relations, how we feel towards each other, and how one day it’s here and one day it’s gone, and how you much guilty you feel but still you are helpless and just accept the consequences – No one can answer all that.

In real situation, if people ask me questions like that, I won’t be that quiet. It’s whether I talk or write long lines before you can even think of the next line. I’m just like that. I don’t want to make you wait. But if I really have to admit my capacity, I know that it’s best for me to just keep quiet. Cos actually I Don’t Know What To Answer You. I thought it was polite to say something to make you feel that you have a company. But the truth is that, Nobody can tell you what to do, what to feel and how to react. Nobody. That’s what I mean. I can speak to you the whole nite about how to not hurt a heart, but it’s pointless. Cos even if my answer is relevant, I WILL understand if you don’t get it.

You need TIME to get you there. You need that touch of reality with your own hands. You need to experience series of serious thinking, recollecting, reevaluating and many times of breaking your own heart, slapping your own face with wrong decisions – then you’ll be there. You will finally know how to answer your own questions.

Before this, I thought that it was crucial to hide from people the man that I was dating. I thought that I shouldn’t be open about it. I thought that people would misunderstand and create stories that are not true. I was afraid what my parents might think or make premature judgment about the guy. I was too stressed out because of all these. But then, if I turned to someone for help, I knew nobody could help me because it was my own feelings and self that were involved. I was not big enough to understand and see the way out. That’s in fact what happened to most of us. We need these unanswered questions – for us to discover them ourselves. I can assure you that the things I didn’t understand for many years, I finally understand now. Why? TIME makes the difference. So if you ask me, if I tell you something like this, now you understand. Cos I’ve been there.

These questions are here to make you a better decision maker. Without it, how can you live the rest of your life? So don’t worry if you have many questions to ask and still unanswered. You will eventually know how to answer them yourself. Just let time educate you how to do it :) So if I tell you, “I don’t know what to answer you”, that means I think it’s best that you discover the answers yourself.