Whoaa…why this computer dictionary tells that Mrs also stands for Mistress, with capital M? I mean, if according to the dictionary, the definition for Mrs and Mistress is only the M being “big” or “small”. IF only, my friends…If Only. (I’m sure there’s a little mistake with the Babylon dictionary here in my pc la. Later I check out).
Okay, when I write issue mcm ni, mesti ramai complain if I write in English. Sebab my English yang tunggang langgang itu kan. *Lols. Now let’s do it the way you guys prefer la okay.
Actually, bukan sia sengaja mau tulis perbandingan2 ni semua since dari post2 terdahulu, but mimang benda ni terlintas di kepala sia. In fact, lama sudah I want to write this topic. Anyway, you guys sedarkah, sama ada Mrs atau Mistress, semuanya bergantung kepada lelaki yang terlibat tu? Like, he decides which one is his Mrs, which one is just his mistress.
To be the man’s Mrs tu, it’s clear. It’s written in law. You’re married legally to the guy, then you become his Mrs. Ini adalah satu hubungan yang dimaklumi oleh masyarakat sekeliling. You held a wedding party, buat ramai2…nah, si anu is bini kepada si anu. It’s clear, right?
Mistress with the small letter M tu pula, refers to a relationship yang biasanya “terlarang” – not in the way that it involves only one jantina, but terlarang because the guy is practically keeping the lady as companion sedangkan benda tu tidak diketahui umum. And the guy is still very much Married, and usually, the wife bukan tau kewujudan ini mistress dalam life husband dia. Nama pun sudah mistress. But dalam dunia sekarang yang semakinlah tidak dapat dijangka, ada extra-marital affairs yang actually diketahui oleh wife tu sendiri. But apa tu wife buat untuk handle this situation is not my focus here. I think, you and I are more interested to focus on the “mistress” with the small m. Yes, itu Perempuan Simpanan. Nama pun perempuan simpanan. Kana simpan. But u guys kena ingat, the general idea is, the lady is not kept for free. So usually cuma lelaki2 berduit yang ada mistress ni. Sebab it’s always sebab2 material yang akan make the hubungan “berlansung dalam keterdesakan” because the lady has something to rely on the man. “Biar la dia ada bini dan anak berbaris di rumah, but he gives me this luxury life, he comes home to me when he needs me, then there’s really no harm to live this way,” as a mistress might say it la. But perempuan ni, biasa la. Dorang ni makhluk yang lemah and so emotionally fragile. If she already shares part of her with the guy, mesti pun she sayang ba tu lelaki. Terlarang atau tidak, that’s another question. But mesti para mistress2 ni biasanya sayang dengan itu lelaki, then sanggup disimpan asalkan hati bahagia.
Speaking from the guy’s side la kan. Why dorang ada mistress? I think, jan pikir jauh2 la. Infidelity is as common as like what you guys know. Mimang lumrah lelaki mcm tu. They are born to conquer and they feel better as a man having women around them. And this need won’t stop with marriage. It’s just an animal side of man that they can’t live without. Remember, this is not to blame the man. Like one of my matured guy friend said, “The animal instinct is there in every man. But whether to let it overpower you is totally up to you.” So lelaki yang serba-serbinya ada sifat2 yang membolehkan dia keeping another woman (or maybe women?), he might do it – maybe it makes him feel happier. Wait, if you guys fikir betul2 ah…ikut logik la. Actually, if a man has a mistress kan, he can take a break from his wife and family, true? And in fact, this is a way the man can find himself harder to get bored of his own wife since that she’s not the only woman he spends time with. It’s VARIATION ba tu kali. Oh man, I tell you guys. This is actually more complicated than just being Unfaithful. It’s the needs to try to maximize life and let the different colours come to the surface and being able to really enjoy the beauty of every colours. Apa lagi dalam dunia yang penuh cubaan ni. You nampak orang lain buat, why you tidak buat? Something like that. It adds thrill to your life ba. Apa lagi when you have to sneak and tipu your wife mcm2 just to spend time with the mistress. Yes, betul la apa u guys pikir tu. Mistress ni dia punya kerja adalah as companion. So speaking of companionship, it usually involves sex. And for that, the guy gives materials in return la. Maybe kasi rumah or lain2 kemewahan. Sekali imbas, dorang ni mcm high-class prostitute pula kan, and at one side, dorang ni actually “a lover” to the man ba juga tu. Cuma since the man is married, so the law expects the wife to be the man’s only lover. So since ada extra lover, then wujudlah gelaran2 untuk perempuan simpanan ni.
Sekali imbas, terus kita mau menghakimi ba ni perempuan2 simpanan2. Kau la perempuan jahat, inda tau malu, inda sedar diri, perampas, gatal, miang…Nahh… sampai bisuk pun nda abis. Tapi betul ka dorang ni adalah perempuan2 yang cuma akhlaknya rendah, teda pelajaran atau “terlebih” pelajaran dan perangai macam bohsia? I think, you guys pun sudah boleh teka apa sia akan tulis next. Dorang tu pun perempuan macam kita juga tu – untuk yg perempuan la. Dorang pun ada naluri mau dicintai ba tu. Cuma dorang jatuh dalam jerat si lelaki yg sudah kawin. Then dorang stuck dalam relationship tu. Ada jua yang mistress2 ni kana tipu ba oleh lelaki tu. Kununnya sudah cerai la, kununnya sudah berpisah la, kununnya sudah kematian bini laa… DEIIII… lelaki oh lelaki, mestikah lidahmu tu perlu bercabang? Stop la ni perangai k?
Sia teda kawan yang jadi mistress, so sia nda pernah bercakap with any of them. But I know a story of my sister’s punya kawan. Yang ni mimang kes mistress sebab itu lelaki berpangkat Datuk. Dia kasi apartment, kereta…and gara2 sudah cinta sama tu lelaki, macam sia dengar2 tu perempuan actually sudah gugur anak beberapa kali. The Datuk keep saying yang, “I will leave my wife very soon” jadi tu mistress pun terus mengharap untuk ada ikatan sah sama ni lelaki. Tapi mcm sedikit silly la bila the lady tau yg lelaki tu kasi present sport car sama bini dia, and feels okay about it. I mean, is a sport car a good sign to “a coming divorce”? Untuk orang2 yang tukang dengar ja ni pun tau ba yang the man is very much still married to the wife, and no intention of leaving her. Maybe itu janji sudah “terlepas cakap” ba tu di saat rumahtangga tu bergoyang sikit. At the end of the day…The Wife Always Wins. Sorry to say la. Actually, sia sudah tulis this statement dalam post sia yang bertajuk, The Price Of Messing With Someone’s Husband. Entah kenapa, semua cerita orang ke-3 yang sia dengar dari orang sekeliling sia, semua TIDAK BERJAYA ambil tu husband. Tu husband akan pilih juga anak bini.
Cuma di post ni, sia focus on perempuan simpanan yang seolah-olah servicenya for companionship dibayar ba. So sia mau share a little thoughts with the ladies la okay. Emm…sia ni pun bukan jua sebagus mana mau nasihat2 orang but we share2 ja la ba kio. Gini laaa…I’m sure you ladies mau satu hubungan yang realistic, yang sah dan yang terjamin. So if you say YES untuk semua tu, say No to becoming somebody’s concubine – Yes…say No to becoming a mistress. Awal2 tu mungkin u guys enjoy juga, but sampai bila? Ingat tu, yang most men yang not divorced akan balik sama wife dia, sebab most lelaki ni cari mistress untuk EXTRA saja ba. If you guys teda pun dorang nda mati punya. Tapi jangan put yourself dalam situation yg you guys akan mati kalau itu lelaki teda. Awal2 sudah elakkan tu benda. Speaking of a mistress…semua perempuan pun ada peluang jadi somebody’s mistress juga kalau dorang pendek akal. But bukan semua mau benda ni. It’s not so hard to avoid this ba. Kita ni, hidup cuma sekali. Berbaloikah hidup setakat menumpang kasih yang tidak pasti, and just to find out that you will never make it yours sampai bila2?
Satu soalan yang interesting. Pernahkah kamu didatangi oleh lelaki2 dalam hidup kamu yang sanggup keluar duit untuk kamu, dan cakap tidak harap apa2 balasan? Ini bahaya ni. Yes, kadang2 kita dalam kesusahan kan. And ada lelaki2 ni yang maybe berkemampuan untuk tolong you guys, and you guys cakap, Iya saja. Apa lagi kalau sudah mimang ada niat mau mengikis. Tu lelaki2 kaya tu pun bukan buduh ba, my friends. Awal2 tu rasa mcm ikhlas ja, tapi bila sampai masa, mimang kana ungkit tu. Itu la buli timbul istilah Terhutang budi, tergadai body. Kelemahan perempuan ni mudah dimanipulasikan ba. Hal2 mcm tu akan lembutkan hati perempuan. Sia personally “takut” sama benda2 mcm ni sebab sia takut sia punya hati lembut sebab terhutang budi saja. Sia nda mau jadi mangsa and walaupun benda ni masih awal untuk dilabel sebagai “mistress”, tapi kalau lelaki2 yang terlibat tu adalah husband orang, what do you think is Next kalau benda tu dilayan menjadi besar?
Just now, I got an offer from a friend, who is a married man, to help me out on something ba. Actually, I did ask for his help but not involving material, but just now he offers help in terms of materials. Then I terus snapped like – “Eh no nooo…don’t want like that”. “We are friends kan?” he said, trying to make me say yes. But I cepat2 tukar topic sebab I think, the best way to treat a friendship is by not putting “materials” as priority ba. Tiba2 geli pula sia bila ingat kana offer mcm tu. Jadi if I say yes, then what? I owe him something ka that? I don’t think so he wants to help for free. Maybe intention dia baik, cuma hati manusia ni mana la kita tau. Sia cuba avoid risk ja ba tu. Kalau buli, problem sia biar sia handle la sendiri. If ada orang mau tolong, don’t make me feel mcm kana sponsor pula. Deiii…That’s not the worst actually. But as perempuan, pegangan tu kena ada. You can practise that little devil inside you but never puts your whole life on the line. Pandai2 la bawa diri kio. Perempuan kaum yang lemah? Make the guys think twice. Hehehe.
2 comments:
sometimes...yg teda duit pun gatal juga mo ada mistress nih...and in most cases nowadays, the mistress is not lowly educated, so and so mcm dulu2...some ada kerja bagus, education tinggi2...this is all about 2 parties la...the mistress and the man themselves..they choose that path..what to do. In some cases, wives that knew about this mostly the type yang sudah TIRED, FED-UP...so in the end the poor wives would say "Doesn't matter already...as long he comes home, as long he provides for me, the home and the children...then he can do whatever he wants outside."
yes, I do agree with you, there is no one more superior but the WIFE. No matter how special these mistresses been treated, hope they realised that they always come in 2nd, perhaps 3rd, 4th..and many more in the line.
Ya ba...I actually get this advice from a married guy friend yang things mcm ni MESTI akan jadi punya...sebab mimang lelaki punya nature macam tu. Sia paling ingat dia cakap, kasi kuat ja semangat kau and rajin sembayang supaya tu rumahtangga kekal. LOls...I rather pray yang lelaki2 di dunia ni stop buat barang nda tentu2 ba. I think, enough with us giving too much space for nature lelaki. I think itu mistress punya gejala tidak akan wujud juga tu kalau tu lelaki "boleh menolak bangkai"... hehehehe. This subject susah mau habis but just hope for the best for everyone la, especially the strong wives yg husband dorang tu buaya bergigi tembaga. Hahahaha. Palis!!
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