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Monday, October 18, 2010

Handsome, Rich and…Lonely

Are you one of these handsome and good looking guys, who are wealthy enough to afford luxury, whether if from your own efforts of your family fortune, but there’s something missing in your life? That missing thing is creating a big empty space in your heart. What could that be?

Recently, I associated with a few guys that belong to this league. They are good looking, they have money , they have friends, they have girls wanting their attention… but still they are SO LONELY. When I took time to talk with them, I realize that these guys have a serious “emotional emptiness” that no matter how many people they meet or talk to, the emptiness is still spared until they come to the end of that day when they are left alone with that absolute longing. I’m sure they can’t explain it very well too.

I asked that questions too, WHY ARE YOU STILL LONELY? It’s not like they have no one to mix with. They can even have a few female names that keep tailing them just to get special attention from them. I can’t just say that they isolate themselves from the society. They have tried their best too. They spent money to do what they want, and have companies around them and do fun stuff once in a while. Still, they come home lonely…and “empty”. Have you come across these guys?

I talked to a few, and found out this. They know their advantages but they could not find a way how to make their advantages fill that emptiness. As you can guess, Yes…they are longing for LOVE. They want to have someone to share their advantages with. But why do they have to make it sound so hard? Normal guys in their league would not have a problem to hook up with girls. There’s SOMETHING about them that makes them hard to get close to. The girls can try everything but they still refuse. So, what do they actually want?

These guys have something in common. These guys have LOST trust in girls once in their lives. They all told me they got cheated VERY badly by the last girl they claimed to be in love with. I should have guessed that this is really something about “missing the ability to function normally as a human being” that caused this loneliness. They could not Trust again. They tried and still in vain. They come to a stage where they thought they had enough of this loneliness and suddenly feel somekind of a desperation to just have someone to fill the space. It’s like longing to have someone and at the same time, refuse to take someone because of the fear of getting cheated again. It’s like having a rage inside them. They know they should get someone to end the loneliness but they find it HARD to accept anyone. The FEAR is bigger than the needs.

One of them told me. It becomes harder when the parents start to nag about his singleness. They want him to get married fast so that he has someone to take care of him. He told me NOT that he didn’t want to fall in love but it’s hard. He was still haunted by the last time his heart was broken so badly. He said now he has issues with girls who go after his money. He wants ordinary girl to love. He doesn’t want to fall for a pretty girl who has a lot of fans. I mean, yes, that insecure. He said he doesn’t want the same thing to happen again when his girlfriend left him for another guy.
But here comes the act of desperation. Trying so hard to end the loneliness, he starts to look at girls and forced himself to get attracted to them, thinking that he is ready to move on. When he gets closer to one particular girl that he thinks is better than the other choice, he starts to flash his money thinking that if he could not wait that natural spark to happen, he might as well make it happen. After only 2 days encounter with this one girl, he told me he is now in a relationship with her. It was so sudden…and so Unreal. He knows it too but he’s just helpless with his situation. He has to hook up and he has to try to make it work. He can’t get trapped in loneliness forever. Yes, you can call that girl lucky. But he has to do it right. If he pampers the girl with money, he gonna face another frustration. Might be a bigger one.

My advice to these guys…I know that God is fair, but it doesn’t mean that you have desperate and lonely just because you’re rich and handsome. I saw guys who have all that and still they are not like you. The fear to get hurt is felt by anyone who was once hurt. But instead of trapping yourself in the past breakup, DETERMINE your weaknesses. Money and Looks don’t buy real love. If you think by just being handsome and rich, enough for you to secure love, and feels like it’s so UNFAIR if your girl still leaves you…you are wrong. These guys told me that their gfs left them because they were too busy with work. I knew there’s something wrong and they knew it too. So it doesn’t matter how long you gonna be lonely, but if you come up just to be the same way again, I’m afraid it’s gonna spell the same ending.

Don’t make the girls love you because you’re handsome and rich. If you still have to do it, bear in mind that that’s not enough to make them stay. In terms of Love, maybe your looks and wealth don’t make you ANY LUCKIER than your peers. Work out something. Improve your attitudes in relationship. Your Money and Looks don’t make them come for free. Good luck :)

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