You, Me, Them, Everyone - None of us are perfect. Why are we so bothered by it, anyway? One time in this life, we be the judge of others. It's fun doing it right? It's fun to be putting marks from head to toe, marking what's quite not right, and what's totally wrong. Yeah, some of us done that too often. And that's why, we are bound to get a good evaluation from others too. In fact, some of us are spending our lifetime to just be good in others eyes for the sake of that "evaluation of perfection". To those who are still trapped in this, what do you guys feel?
I gradually find comforts in my imperfections. Why? Because, one, No matter what I do, I can never be perfect to my own eyes, or to anybody's eyes, cos I'm just human, and humans are not created to be perfect. We are sinners. We sin, we break rules, we are full of weaknesses. No matter how kind can you be or how sympathetic or charitable you are - yes, you are still imperfect. That's the fact. Do we forget that?
I start to love my imperfections not because I try to live in denials, but because I don't see my imperfections as "abnormality" since everyone has them, remember? So the difference now is that, I learn how to be make peace with them, to be more comfortable with them, and walk with them without much shame. Because what I am born with or I am born as, they are the list of blessings God gave to me. I am thankful for so many million things. I have my hands and legs. I am healthy. I have my wonderful family. I have a good shelter to come home to. I have a job I love doing. Oh man. That and so many more things! All the details of things can't simply ruin my blessings. I may have my shortcomings. My short temper. My talkativeness. Many others. I don't say I'm proud of them cos I'm not but I realize that some of the things in my blood, are not really meant to be gone from my life. My challenge is to put them under control, and to not let them spoil my relationship with people, and I have to watch my weaknesses very closely so they don't get the better of me. Why, do I expect my life will be completely off struggles eventually? No. NO. These struggles of imperfections will always be there along the way. That's why we need to keep in touch with our values; something not easy to do but DO-ABLE. That and many more, I don't need to elaborate. You should know.
I've been there in the stage of life where I liked to impress, I liked to show the good sides of me only so I could get compliments, so I could get flattered to smile about, but then, I guess I'm done with that. I want to do something else. Every morning I wake up, and say my thankfulness to God for this gift of LIFE. I am just so extremely thankful to be alive. I MEAN IT. Maybe because my thankfulness has switched to something more "Real" than ever. Then I start to love everything about my life. Even my weaknesses. My imperfections are like "AN ART" of God's wisdom, to just give each of us something to struggle with. And I accepted that. I AM DONE trying to bother about their evaluations. Cos I realize that when I'm happy, others have no freaking idea how happy I am or what is it that makes me happy. Same with when I'm sad. Nothing that they can do to understand, let alone to sooth me or make me feel better. I decide that I just know SO MUCH about this life of mine. Much much more than anyone who are busy judging me. So when I decided to just "Be This Way", it's when the FUN begins. You can sit down and enjoy the show of how many fake people can't stand to be there. They like the version of you who only pleases them. They love it when you put yourself in suffering just so you can make them feel good being around you, and all that stuff. Don't you want to try and SEE, who are there FOR REAL?
Nowadays, given this (limited) maturity and wisdom, I love to watch how people judge me and how they deal with their judgment. I remember when a senior came to me and told me that she thought my hair was too messy and long and I should change it to this and that, I felt offended a bit. But then come again now and say what you think, it won't bother me a bit. What I know is I love this God-given hair that I have. If you don't like it, it's not my hair's fault. There are a lot of people who are struggling with hair loss, and me who have this thick hair, have to listen to some people who are bothered by it, when I should 100 times be thankful that I even have hair, when some people are spending money just to grow theirs. It's the same with other things. I am so thankful that when I am able to see it this way, I also can be more acceptable to other people's imperfections. Although I don't always deal with them positively, but I know it's better to avoid judging people and leave them alone, rather than punishing and blaming them for being what God created them to be. You don't live on their skin to know exactly who they are, and what they have gone through. You are NOBODY to judge people like you know them forever.
Who cares if people don't think you are smart enough, you are pretty enough, you are attractive enough, cos the fact is that, you won't get all thumbs in everything. I can freaking assure you that there's NOTHING that you can do to make everyone approves everything about you. No freaking way. SO stop wasting your time. This is the time when you claim honesty, sincerity; from people - this is the only way you gonna get them! Cos people who you have to impress for them to be around you, are NOT WORTH IT. Expect to regret a fake affection which you got from faking attraction. Just move easily with the "package" that you come with, and look at your mom, your dad, your sisters, your brothers, they love you no matter what. These people can name many things you lack, but their love are not conditional to that. You see, these people do exist. The millions people out there can disagree with them, but you don't live with this people. You don't know these people. These people don't know you. They are also bothered by too much imperfections with themselves and their own lives.
PLEASE MAKE PEACE WITH YOURS. Once you can do this, consider that this is the best gift of reality. Do not worry, my dear friends. At the end of the day, You Will Never Be Good Enough To Those Who Don't Love You, and to those who love you, there's nothing that you can do that will simply change that. Do Not Worry. Be Yourself, and Be Loved For The Right Reasons...:))
God Bless!!
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