I feel handicapped right now. One of those rare days in 2019. The last time I felt this way, it took me one week to discover that it was all Nothing. The thing that saddened me, that made me feel handicapped, was really really just a state of mind. THEY WERE NOT REALITY. So I laughed it off that time calling myself stupid. I told myself, if thats gonna happen again, I shall know how to react. "You are not gonna get me the next time around".
So today something happened (related to work). I know I'm now not easily shaken by anything because of the experience and because "I've been there, done that" for so many times. Logically, your experience makes you dangerously equipped. You are always prepared, you don't easily snap and you always get the bigger picture. Yeah, that's how I should be. But then...remember I'm just a tiny creature. If I'm okay all the time I might get arrogant. I know that's the issue with God and your relationship with Him. I don't think He likes it when you think you can handle it yourself everytime. He wants you to need Him. I KNOW THAT. I just don't know what He gonna put me thru this time. 256, watch out, are you forgetting Me?
If a month ago, I said something about getting a task that could easily not go to me, but still went to me no matter what excuses this world could find. You really couldn't stop that FORCE when something is meant to be yours. But what if it DOESN'T? Something that is already in our palm, they can grow wings and fly away. I never thought it could happen but it happened. Forcefully I have to enter this somber mode. Oh man, I feel so so handicapped right now. With all the knowledge I have in my head, I'm still not invincible. Oh, sorry, I'm far from 'bullet-proof'. It's happening now as I'm writing this. But wait...
I also know this gonna pass. Of course I'm feeling upset right now but this is how it is. As a normal human being, I will have to go through different emotions and just let it take its course. I'm doing my time now. If you ask me, how does it feel to feel handicapped? Well, I still have positivity, I still can laugh and think of funny things to say and write too if I want. But I must not deny that for now, what I lost made me feel like something is missing from myself. But again, I also know this is all just a state of mine. I KNOW... I REALLY KNOW.
So guys. Just in case something happens to you today that make you feel upset and down, hey, you have a friend. In fact many out there are like us right at this very moment. To me, I imagine God says, So 256, do you remember me now? *giggles. Sometimes I imagine God was giggling while looking at me and I pretending not knowing by looking away when actually, "God, I saw You!". Hahahahahaa. That's why we don't have to worry too much. It's all in His loving hands. When He brings you to it, He will you through it. NO DOUBT!
So Yes, we gonna wake up tomorrow wearing a tougher spirit. Feeling handicapped takes only a day to expire. Tomorrow we gonna be whole again. PROMISE?! Ok, Good! :))
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