There are many things that hurt our feelings. Frustration, failure, disappointment, you name it. Things that once made us cry and always leave wounds in our heart. The only way is when we try not to give too much thought to it, then only we can lessen the pain. Or maybe there’s more to it.
Like any other female, sometimes I get carried away with emotions too. Especially when something that once hurt me, come back in a jolt of flashbacked memory that I don’t invite. There’s always something that can trigger back the old feeling, and guess what? Sometimes you trigger the wrong kind of emotions, recalling back moments you don’t want to remember. Suddenly there’s this pain coming from within. It’s tough. Oh darn it’s tough.
People might see that I’m a person who is always cool and laugh a lot. I give people a lot of fruitful advice when they come to me. I feel silly that sometimes I do need the same counseling that I give people. I mean, to whom can I go to? In my situation, sometimes I hate the state of being fragile. I hate to admit that I’m as weak as some of these female who told me they have lost direction trying to deal with their heartache. So you think I should tell them that “We are just the same” instead of pretending to be strong? I mean, of course I don’t pretend. I just have the way to see strength and to use them, especially when people need that strength from me. I mean, I recall many times when they got their thinking bulb working after they talked to me. That means I did help them to activate their mind, working towards their own dilemma. Don’t they know that I have my fragile moments too? I do. I surely do. It’s when I feel like I could cry. That sharp pain, I feel it. It’s when all the negativity starts to take place, oh man, I feel like the world comes crushing down. Suddenly the things that hurt me start to engulf me, so tightly that I barely breathe. Oh man. I do need help.
Do you guys know what comes to rescue me? When I open my eyes and look at the other female I know. Their Pains. I learnt about their pains. Their pains are much more unbearable than mine. Their problems with their men were like many percent worse than me. If I said I got cheated, these women must got beaten to death. I mean, that’s the comparison. If I said I found a useless man, guess what, they found Lucifer, the chief of devil. *Lols. Ok, kidding. My point is that, these women had pain much worse than mine. Their experiences are sometimes ridiculous enough even trying to put yourself in their shoes. But look at them. Some of them are walking tall like nothing happened. Maybe they pretended to be strong, but STILL, they must have that guts to even pretend. It’s so painful. They don’t just get emotional abuse, but also physical abuse. And what about their self value and dignity. This is more than pain. This is a violation of right to be treated right. They have put so much in line, in the most unsophisticated way, and still survive in smile. They can face another day, even how tough, and still, they have successfully make people forget that they once had that ordeal that took tough survival with tears and even maybe blood too. When I look at them…suddenly I feel…SO LUCKY. My problems are so tiny compared to them. What am I doing here trying to beat myself up like life has been so cruel to me. NO! I disagree.
These women show me HOW LUCKY I AM. And looking at their strength, I feel so ashamed of myself that I even complain. I shouldn’t. I should appreciate that I’m given a pain, together with a wisdom to deal with it and I’m wise enough to learn from others. My pain is just a tiny dust compared to theirs.
That makes my heart light. It’s so funny, why I can change the way I feel about something, when the pain remains the same since it belongs to the past. This taught me even more that maybe, I am totally responsible in why I am still getting hurt. It’s not the pain. It’s me. It has left me, and I’m given so many new blessings to count, and still I am here grieving. Oh come on 256. You are better than this.
To all the strong women out there, THANKS FOR BEING STRONG. You have no idea how many people you inspired just by being that way, and I’m just one of them. And with this, I hope to spread this around, so to the rest who are weaker than I am, will get inspired by me too. Lets do this. We will fight for happiness till the very end. :)
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