Unbelieve The Believer, Unfaith The Faithful

Do you recall so many times when you just "quit believing" in Him and His power? It's usually because your prayers were not answered according to your time. In fact, from my experience, it could turn your heart bitter, sour, even tasteless, and made you just want to forget about your religion. A few friends of mine also said the same thing. "I feel like my prayers are not heard." when they were asked why they were considering another religion.

I think, to have prayers "delayed" is not gonna end there. It will happen again. But to you, who are still a believer, what about you? Why are you still a believer? What about all your prayers and petitions that are not answered or the help from above that never arrives? I'm sure all of you have your own story to tell.

I can say that I'm going through that again. I have some petition that are "yet to be answered" but for some reason, instead of losing heart, I keep saying the little intention whenever I pray. It's been months that I even have special praying sessions for this particular petition. If I were my much younger version, I would have sulked at God (again). Well, even at the present, I still occasionally ask God, "God, Why?" But then there's sthing more than just asking Him IN DOUBT. I just know He has been listening to everything. I just know. Sometimes I'm tempted to just go back to my old ways of reacting to Him, by getting mad at Him, by blaming Him and shouted at Him in anger. Maybe I could just refuse to pray! Maybe I could stop going to Church! Maybe I could stop finding comforts in Godly stories and Bible verses! I can just do all that to show Protect to God for now answering my prayers in my own terms and conditions.

I could, but would I? Everytime the devil whispers to me Doubt in His power, when I'm tempted to just rebel at Him and accuse Him for so many things, something just stops me. Or even if it happens, it would not be long after that, I gain my consciousness back to praising His glory. I could even speak and answer the Devil on God's behalf that he can continue dreaming about poisoning my mind. I can try to be critical and analytic but God's power in my life, is not more than just hearsays. More than just rumours. Or gossips. Or fairy tales. I HAVE WITNESSED HIS POWER WORKING IN MY LIFE. How can I deny Him now? I don't have that ability to do it anymore.

Come to think about it, for those of you who have surrendered your faith because you lost hope in God, did you only judge God on your latest petition that He doesn't answer yet? How about so many times before that He blessed you. Moments of your success, moments of laughter and joy, moments of recovery from sickness, Did you forget?

Even during the time when my own petition is not yet answered, He keeps blessing me daily. He takes care of my loved ones, and how He helps me in overcoming problem by problem, giving me the ways to the solutions, giving me foods to nourish my body and giving me ways towards the small details of my Happiness. That's why, when I ask God, "God, why? Why did you let sthing like that happen to me? Can I know the reason why?" - I just know that nothing is accidental. I have decided that GOD is in this from the very start. Things might look a bit messy at the present, but I just know that mystery is going to unfold, and I'm gonna be the one who will be rewarded by much delight. He's working in my favour. That's why He let me wait for a bit, cos I'm not alone in this world. It's not realistic that God answers my prayers right then and there when I have to follow the course of the world - where millions of people are praying for their own petitions too. Sometimes what we ask for, involves a lot of people. Things need time to fall in place. So with this understanding, you will know WHY, as long as I don't deny this wisdom that is given to me, I will never succeed in trying to Un-believe or Un-faith myself - even if I consider myself as the most selfish in this world, I just can't. GOD IS REAL. He's the one who created me, He knows what's He's doing. 

When you ask me, How do you know? My answer is, "I JUST KNOW". That's the beauty of Faith. Thank you Lord for guiding me. Help me to grow even more in Faith and I wish that one day, you allow me to SHOW YOUR WORK through my life, and I swear those people will never doubt in You anymore. 

Alleluia.:)

Faith Is Not Just For Show

During our hangout yesterday, my friend talked about a scenario of a devout follower (which happened to be her bro in-law) who likes to preach about religion and God, who likes to attend church' activities and constantly advising others about the right way of doing things. But it's quite confusing cos his life is a mess. He resigned his work and decided not to work anymore. From there, they get into financial  crises. It has been years that their home and car installment were paid by my friend's mom. And even when he said he decided to have his own business, the family collected money just so he could have it. But nothing really works. He still doesn't put enuff effort. While others are busy paying his bills, he's getting busy attending church activities. Which my friend referred as "totally out of proportion".

She said it's from your way of life, you'll get respected by people. You will honour your religion if you live in such a way that others can salute you for doing your responsibility well. Cos if you cannot balance your commitment, you'll be a burden to others, you're hurting others. What an embarrassment to not adapting faith into way of life. She got so pissed and said, It's like he can lazy around and just pray to keep getting financial assistance from others. Goodness gracious. One heck of a topic but sores the ears but you know she has a point. Nobody's perfect but the point is, everyone has to learn from mistakes and keep improving. Faith is more than just for a show :)

Should We Give Miley Cyrus A Break?

The Adorable Miley Cyrus. Her stunning hair. The best long hair that I saw on google...hehe

I read about her performance in Video Music Award 2013 that was held recently. I was a bit influenced by the hatred notes made by the public. I watched the clip, again, I was shocked too. I admired some of her songs like The Climb and When I Look At You. Her long hair, her good girly image, I'm sure she has been a wonderful inspiration to the teenage girls out there. I  never really watched Hanna Montana, but I know she was so famous for that, so again the world watches her grow up from a little kid, a young girl to -- this one, a grown up girl in her 20. Many of us don't have this kind of limelight. If we make a breakthrough performance like this in our friend's party, I'm sure the most it can go viral to is just in SMS or Facebook. Still never as much coverage as Miley got on her VMA performance. Remember the tweaking, the grinding, the foam finger? Those are all the highlights to her so-called shameful performance that night.

Of course I hated the stage performance too. It looked so indecent. The reaction on Will Smith's face, would be exactly on your face if you bring along your kids in the show. But that was before I actually watched the the clip from the beginning. How she came to the stage in the bear suit, with some dancers with the same bear theme costumes. To my surprise, it was a good opening. The music, the aura of fame, she has that. When she made that move, it all looked acceptable, cos she's Miley Cyrus. She has the license to just do what she wants on stage. I don't know where that thought came from. I just had it while watching the opening. So when I listened to the song, it was not a bad song at all. Why didn't I read anything good when there are indeed good things about her performance?  So, now I know I never actually listened to that song. I went to youtube and look for the official MTV of the song "We Can't Stop", and her some other live performances before that. Then I wondered, why the public sounded so unaware of her new approach? She was already into this way before VMA. The song was about "freedom" of doing what you want, even if you'll get hated for it. She said it in the lyrics. How she changed her hair, her dressing, it was all part of how she gonna present herself with her new album. I remember Britney's era, and then Rihanna. They were all used to have this pure good girl image before they turned rebellious and became who they are today. So what's new with Miley Cyrus?

Okay, she could have made it a bit more decent than what she did on the duet with the male singer, and how she stripped herself into that nude bikini, didn't do her pastime justice but look at us. Do you think we turn out to be everything that people expect us to be? They can just wish that we will remain the same but we can't stop from changes, or from the tendency to be what we really want to be. So for the 20-year-old Miley, this is her time. It might not be her best performance in her lifetime, she might or she might not regret it but still, I can feel that part of her just wants to express herself out of the box, and if she hit the wrong note, she'll learn and she'll get better. So guys, enough with the bashing. Lets move on and give this girl a break. Sometimes I'm quite surprised how these westerners who I thought are living in the open and honest culture all their lives, actually give that much fuss on something like this. Well, okay, lets hope there's no more shock like this from her, okay. Hahaha. Good luck Miley. We know you are more than that so go ahead and keep shining. Your fans have not given up on you yet, I'm pretty sure of that. Wish you all the best!

“The Lost Notebook”

Do you guys realize that the problem in humans is not because “they can’t think”, but it’s because sthing can simply deny them from taking benefit from whatever kind of rational thinking that their mind can produce. Do you get the idea?

For example, you lost a broken notebook. Okay, maybe you misplaced it, or maybe someone stole it, but then, hey, it’s a broken notebook! You never need it anymore for the past few months but you just keep so much hurt in you. You can go on telling people why you shouldn’t feel sad but deep inside, you feel the pain of losing it. I mean, of course it’s if that you still have it cos it’s your belonging, it should be with you and not somewhere else. You can’t help but think of all the things the notebook has done for you. Its years in service, maybe you spent your memorable moments holding it. You just can’t let go that sentimental value of that notebook. Okay, maybe a normal phase for anyone who has just lost something.

But that’s not normal when it holds you back. You can’t keep bringing the lost notebook story to people, making it a big deal – which you almost forgot the fact that it’s broken and no longer can be used. Guys, this can sound really simple but you could be one of them who are still trapped with “your lost broken notebook” story. Things that you know you are able to let go, but you refuse. You think you can’t just let go sthing that once was so meaningful to you. Regrets keep coming to you, wishing that you could have taken care of it better. Oh no, again, you forgot it’s broken.

So if this is familiar with you, it’s time to let it go guys!! If in your case it’s not “ a broken notebook” but a friend or someone important that is drifting away from you, remember this. If they belong to be in your life, they will catch up. If they are not, someone will come and fill that place. Just leave the space vacant, to be fair. *winks. The clock keeps ticking, it won’t stop to any drama we put or how much delay we take, heck, even when we are sleeping, the clock will be ticking happily. Time gone will not come back, so if you want to grieve for something, do it fast, finish it fast and quickly turn a new page. Get busy writing it. Be a professional “author” of your book of life. And sure as hell a professional author won’t keep grieving about a lost broken notebook. :)

Note: Trust in His wonderful plan, and keep doing your best. Get up from every setback, and remember, if people do you wrong, it’s totally their problem, only when you give them so much space to disturb your own peace, then only it becomes your problem too. So decide wisely, guys.

Guilt.

Do you ever have this one guilt that you just can’t let go? You have told the same stories to your friends, your colleagues, your mates, but it appears that you never really tell the person. The only person who is yet to know about it is him. The one you feel guilty at.

I won’t say that it’s all fated that he’s still around, and really available to hear anything I want to say. I made the effort, and located him, but never really said it. Only recently that I thought of seriously going to ask for his forgiveness.  I had the chance before but I did not take it. I thought that after all the damage, he has forgiven me anyway. And how we used to talk again like adults, he told me how I turned his world upside down when I left him but then what mattered was he was happy to see me again. I remember that when I appeared that time, it wasn’t for the most noble intention. I was just testing the water. When will I learn my lesson?

So after some bittersome trial that happened in my journey lately, I finally thought of him. Looks like I was never over this guilt yet. I still owe him that. I knew it somehow that I must come clean with these big guilts before I could really proceed with my life. The fact that I still have his gift, the gift that he thought was a token from his heart, I lost count how many times I asked people’s opinion if I should return it. Now, what am I waiting for?

He’s around and he’s waiting for me to say my first word. I should just say it to him just to clear it off my chest. This world is just not fair, right. Especially when you are the victim. Why doesn’t life make it easier for human beings and their helplessness. If it were so simple, I could simply pick not to hurt anyone.  So today, coincident or not, is his birthday. A perfect time for me to do a bit of recollection, and finally talk with my most sensible sense – I want to ask for forgiveness. Although I can defend myself why I do what I did, no, it’s not about that. I just thought that I could have done it better but I did not. I was too coward, too selfish and it was all about me, me me. I have come this far and it’s time for me to really mean it when I say I’m sorry.

Even in my prayer, I keep having the same thought of guilt. It’s time to really really let go of this guilt. I’m gonna ask for his forgiveness with every bit of sincerity that I have, and I know, with such a kind heart that he has, he will forgive me.  And from there, I hope to be free from this too.

God, have mercy us poor sinners. Guide us to do the right thing, to correct our mistakes and to fix our ways. In Jesus name, Amen. 

"It's Your Love" - Version II

Remember this song? This is the first song of my bathroom singing that I uploaded in this blog...but it was the short version of the song before and the sound was really bad. As you know that I have a method that can make me record voice much clearer, so I re-record this song. What I like about this song; other than the nice lyrics, it's about because of the key of the song that matches my voice just fine, so no adjusting, makes my life easier...LOLS. Unlike all the songs that I have recorded so far, some I even changed the key to the lowest possible. That baddd, huh. Hahaha.Phew, luckily it's my blog I can be "as funny" as I wish to be. Hahaha. O ya, I did it again. It's not JILL, it's GIL. If I record it the third time, I'm gonna make sure I won't simply change pronunciation again. Ehehe. I'm quite well-known for it now I think. Haha.You should be able to see the Play button below this, if not, u have to download Adobe Flash player available in the net. Alrighty...till next post...:))

Are We Living In A Brokenhearted World?

Day to day I like to go through the status updates made by people in Facebook. I can see a pattern of Heartbroken in most of them. Whether they are currently going through the phase of being betrayed/ignored by someone they love, or being rejected by a potential lover, while the rest are still talking about old memories of tough heartbreak that they still fail to get over. Wow guys…What does that make this world?

Why must this happen in the first place? How does it start to go wrong, when everyone is looking for Love? And what are we doing? Isn’t heartbreaking totally the opposite? I tell you what’s wrong. In our quest to look for love, we are doing it ALL WRONG. When we start going out with someone, it’s not always for the right intention. Whether it’s infatuation or just lust, all are meant to be gone as quick as it comes. With lack of sincerity, we make promises, without the intention of keeping them just get the quick benefit of getting someone’s trust – build a make believe happiness that only lasts for a while and let tomorrow worry of its own trouble. Then, we are putting less effort to stay loyal to one. We entertain  our wandering eyes, and getting the thrill of chasing another and another new person, because it feeds to our pride and ego.  The farther we go with exploring possibility with someone new, the more pain we are collecting for our hopeful partner, which is just waiting to explode and make her/his world crushed in pieces. Does that sound familiar to you? Now you see why we are doing it all wrong. The Love becomes overrated, cos it’s NOT LOVE to begin with. Cos we tend to drift away from our relationship for all the wrong reasons. We know that nobody’s perfect, which means, if you can say your partner is not perfect, YOU are also far from perfect. But sometimes you judge your partner as if you are at a better human level than them. You love lies in the eyes, and not the heart.  When there’s a problem, WE DON’T TRY HARD ENOUGH to work it out. What we see if to just call it a quit, and the excuse it that we have lack of understanding.  The fact is that, our direction and destination have changed because of our own will.

I speak for the adults like you and me. Those who have underwent early teenagahood with loads experiements and self-findings. We get excused to make mistakes in that era. But not anymore. Now that we are totally aware of our deeds, we won’t just accidentally fail a relationship that we mutually start. It’s always because we fail to be loyal, we fail to be responsible, we fail to be sincere in what we say and do, and how we belittle the heart of the other person whose dream is built around our promises.  And shamefully still, many are still overcame by lust, without thinking that losing control over our flesh desire is not a one-off crime. If we fail this one, we will fail again. Why, don’t you guys get tired of failing your relationship? Don’t you think it’s about time to finally let in the kind of love that our Creator made for us to have with one and only partner?

We have to change this, guys. We have to fix our ways! Now, please get rid of all the falseness and fakeness in your intention. Stop doing it wrong! Don’t even walk in a relationship you don’t intend to make last, don’t date a lonely person when the person’s can anytime be manipulated by your temporary need of companionship and if you think you can’t be loyal, don’t make promises, don’t even be in a relationship you are not ready for. And please, do not toy with God and Faith just to mislead others that you are worthy just to prove yourself to be totally unreliable – which means you are not just wronging human, but also your own God. We have to fix this guys. We need to turn things around. There’s a hope guys, there’s a hope. If we come back to the way of righteousness, God will help us heal this brokenhearted world into a world  of peace and love. But first, we must correct our ways first. Lets do this together. God, help us to be righteous in our quest for Love. May you guide and lead us to fix our ways and do the right thing. Amen.

A Birthday Prayer

I was looking for a Birthday Prayer and I picked this one to share here. :))

Heavenly Father,

It's my birthday, and the number just keeps getting bigger.  Yet as "vast" and "great" as the sum of my years seems to me today, vaster and greater are my thoughts of you.  The number of my years is calculated merely on terms of decades, but if I tried to "do the math" concerning your glory and grace, I'd have to count every grain of sand on every beach that has ever existed.  With David I can honestly say, "How precious to me are your thoughts."

Father, keep on rescuing me from all wrong thinking about you.  Keep showing me how little I really see and understand about the greatness of your love for us in Jesus.  That won't embarrass me; it will truly thrill me.  May the gospel keep on getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

It's a source of incredible peace and freedom to know that you've ordained all of my days for me.  That feels not like unfair fatalism but rather Fatherly affection.  I'll not live one day more or one day less than you decree, by your sovereign purposes and eternal pleasure.

There's a part of me that would like to turn the clock back for a possible "do-over," especially for certain stretches of my life.  But then again, not really.  Your name is Redeemer, and you're the God who restores years eaten away by locusts.  I choose to rest in your love rather than stew in my regrets.  I have great confidence and hope in your commitment to make all things new.

All I ask is that each additional day, week, month, or year your appoint for me in this world will be filled with a greater gasp of the only love that will never let go of me.  By your Spirit, Father, continue to reveal to me how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ - the only love that surpasses knowledge (Ephesians 3:18-19).  Everything else will take care of itself.  I make my prayer in Jesus' matchless and merciful name.  Amen.

SOURCE 

 It's nice, isn't it. You can read it too on your next Birthday :))

"Ombak Rindu"

Finally, a Malay song. LOLS. Just another version of my rough bathroom singing so if it sounds so messy let it be, okay guys...hahaha. This song is good, in fact the best thing about the movie, yeah, even more than the sobbing dramas you can find there. Haha. Not really a tough song but my voice is just not made for high-pitch songs so I can just sing it for fun...ehehe. By the way, I found a translation for the song title goes with "LOVE AMID THE CRASHING WAVES" and Not "The Wave Of Miss" ah...LOLS. Direct translation doesn't do the Malay words justice guys so don't be too fond of it...hahaa

It’s HIM That Made Me Do This

You know what you want in life. You definitely know. You also know that you made a lot of mistakes in life too. You certainly know that even how far you have come, you are never good enough on your own. And there’s this thing called destiny. We believe that God has a plan for the believers. Yes we believe in that. So, with all this knowledge, you know that what you want is not always what you need, and vice versa. With God’s wisdom, if we humbly come to Him, we know that He will show us the way.

So when you pray for something that you want, then the next thing, something appears in your life. But, it’s not what you want! But then it comes in such a manner that it can actually be fit into an answered prayer. Then with the knowledge that you never know enough, you just Believe that THIS COULD BE IT. You just make peace with new changes that come to you, thinking that it could be God’s answer that you’ve been praying for. How can you resist it? You just take the chance and pray to Him to guide you on what you should do with it. You adhere to it. When things go smoothly, despite your tendency of resisting it at first, you slowly accept that THIS IS PART OF HIS PLAN IN MY LIFE.

Without you knowing, you are slowly adapting to sthing which is outside your list of Wants. You never ask for exactly that but when it comes, you accept, because you have faith in Him, and you know you are not that smart to figure everything out on your own. Before you know, you have walked this path that you believe was His plan, so it should be The Best for you. With added confidence in your prayer for so long, to ask for His protection on your progress, yes, everything went smoothly. Might be stormy at times, but you managed to survive it each time. The more you believe that, YES, THIS IS WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO.

Strange enough, after such a journey, something starts to go wrong. Of course, as usual, you will come to Him for guidance. Moreover, you know that IT CAN’T FAIL no matter how bumpy the road is. “Hey, It’s From God, He will help me through this.” With so much confidence, now you are facing a major setback. Oh come on, Not again. But that won’t scare you anymore. YOU HAVE GOD, remember?  But, I am not sure how many of you who are exactly AT THIS POINT OF YOUR FAITH. That your situation just make you ask so many question, “Whatever happens to your plan for me, O God?”

Then you come to the end of the line of calling this battle a quit, then you look back, OH NO, I CAN’T DO THIS. IT’S GOD WHO BRING ME TO THIS. I MUST FIGHT!!!!  Then you do your thing, fight for what’s right, but things are just don’t get better.  It gets worse the more you fight. At one point, you just retreat, and turn your head up, Oh God My Lord, Tell Me How I’m Gonna Do This. 

That painful moment of trying to sort out that THIS JOURNEY might afterall be A WRONG ONE. Suddenly your faith gives you a blurry sight – you almost  could not see it! You flashback how long you have come just to be defeated and to start back a new journey. Why, After All The Thankfulness, After All The Prayers, Whyy? Whyy? GOD, IT’S YOU WHO MADE ME DO THIS!! WHYYYY…!!

A sense of guilt just hit you and right away you ask for forgiveness for having DOUBT. What will you do now? Be patient? Or just be brave enough to change direction from what you initially thought was guided from God? Yeah, you would risk a new beginning. BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU AND YOUR STRENGTH. This is also about the fight that you believe come from God which moving on means you declare nullification what you believed to be His plan for you.

Let His Mighty plan unfold soon!! This is the time when you have to renew your faith all over again! Oh Good Lord, Guide Us. Give Us Wisdom. Send Your Holy Spirit To Help Us Walk, Decide And Do According To You Will. You Bring Me To This, You'll Bring Me Through This! I Pray This In Jesus Name, AMEN.