Hujan Emas Di Negeri Orang...

Time di airport masa pulang, I talked to my aunty (younger sister to my father) iaitu seorang pensioner, yang sudah ikut almost all the travel destinations. Dia ni walaupun berumur, tapi kaki dia kuat. Tapi sia fikir dia akan surrender after last trip sebab sia sendiri pun sangat sakit kaki. So I told her betapa "jaranya sia" tapi dia cakap, "Mimang begitu. Tapi kau penat 3 hari ja tu. Lepas tu kau kepingin sudah mau travel balik."

Sikit pun sia nda pecaya bah. Hahahaha. Kalau urang bilang jara, jara la ba kan? Kaki sia betul2 sakit sebab berjalan yang mencari tempat dan mengejar masa. So Monday, Tuesday and kemarin, Yes, betul2 tu kepenatan tersimpan. I was still tired walaupun bercakap hyper macam biasa, boleh berjalan macam biasa, but kepenatan tu terpendam. Sia belum berpeluang untuk rest banyak sebab sia kejar kerja yang bertimbun. So, betulkah sia sudah jara ataupun sia akan akur sama aturan 3-hari yang aunty sia cakap tu? Hahahaha

Sorry ahh. Sia pecah record. Biarpun sedang jara sakit kaki, sibuk sudah sia plan next punya destination! Hahaha. Tapi concept sia nda berubah. Kalau ikut sia, sia ndamau pegi tempat yang 

1. Lagi mundur dari tempat sendiri

2. Penuh dengan kesemakan dan kesesakan mengalahkan tempat sendiri

So just now I was asked whether sia mau join trip to Taiwan, sia terus cakap TIDAKKKK! Cukup la kena decide satu kali di mana sia mau pegi. Tadi time balik, sia nikmati pemandangan sepanjang jalan. You guys know what I thought? PUNYA CANTIK NI KK. CANTIKNYAAAAAAA. Bila sia teingat bandar Hatyai yang "serabut", dengan wayar letrik yang berkulut dan kusut macam rambut sia, YA AMPUNNNN. Teruk2 tempat kita ni teda kita nampak gitu. Tiba2 sia anggap diri sia sebagai pelancong yang datang pi KK, sia YAKIN sia akan berasa kagum. Sebab kedudukan building di KK, infrastructure di pusat bandar, kemas, tersusun, moden, senang hati yang memandang. Ditambah lagi dengan "slow and easy" (nda macam di KL), sia tidak hairan pelancong akan fall in love sama tempat kita. Kamu tau ka negeri Sabah kita ni sangat sangat cantik? Time sia di Samila Beach, sia inda rasa tu aura yang ada sama Tanjung Aru Beach. In fact sia sentiasa ingat keindahan tempat2 best di Sabah bila sia browse tempat2 menarik sebab sia confirm one thing, Kalau setakat Pantai, Pulau, Gunung ---  jangan la cari di negara orang sebab yang tempat kita ni YANG TERBAIK. Thats why benda2 yang sia cari kalau mau travel:

1. Tempat yang ada architecture yang maha hebat, yang ancient dan penuh nilai sentimental (French, Rome, Spain...among others)

2. Flora dan fauna yang supercreative ciptaan manusia yang belum ada di tempat kita yang lebih suka sama apa yang semulajadi (Montreal Botanical Garden di Canada, fuh gila) 

3. Tempat yang sejuk! (Cos tempat kita panas)

4. Famous benchmarks like Eiffel, Fountain of Trevi, Colleseum, Louvre, Pisa...among others

So, jangan la dorang suggest2 benda nda tentu2 unless kau sudah round semua tu, then kau buli la hantam2 ja pegi mana2 asal tengok tempat baru. Tapi selagi kau belum, pegi la tempat yg kau mau pegi, kasi happy diri kau, cari perspective baru dalam life, positifkan fikiran dan sebolehnya, kau balik dari vacation as someone yang lebih awesome. Bah ok lah, sia mau keja kuat mula saat ni  ni mau kumpul duit mau pigi traveling ni gengg...Hahahahahha

What I Did With My BaHt

Source: Google images

Hi all. I'm back. I went to a short vacation to Hatyai and just got back last night. Well, I don't think I will share photos from that vacation because of the silly policy of privacy that I've been applying since day 1 (but with many leeways and leaks, ah just let them go).

Actually I'm not interested to go to Thailand but I'd consider if it's free. So finally it happened. Someone paid for my tour fee so I just went ahead with it. It was all pre-planned since end of 2018. So despite all that, I'd like to be prepared. I usually would find out a few things from surfing the net, blogs, youtubes and even reviews and the things that I wanted to find out were:

1. What to eat and where

2. How much things cost compared to MYR

3. What to buy that are not available elsewhere

4. What travelers love about the place from their experiences

Since Hatyai was not even in my bucketlist, I decided to take it easy. Come to eat, eat and eat! I didn't intend to do some serious shopping since I think I know where to get my favourite stuff. If you guys don't know already, I'm a Shopee crazy shopper. I love Shopee so much cos I could buy anything that most of them I could never never find around my place. So what else in Hatyai not available in Shopee? So thats why I was not into the shopping idea but then I still brought a sufficient amount of money in both currency since I didn't want to get left out if it was really really cheap there, WHAT IF, right? 

From the blogs that I read, they did say they bought many stuff there but hard to find those who made a commentary on HOW CHEAP are the goods in Thailand particularly in Hatyai. Of course, from the currency, we all know we are ahead of Thailand but then you can't really compare that way. Just because you know the Thais are flocking to work to Malaysia, well, maybe once upon a time our currency was much stronger. 

I'm a person who values money because I know how hard it is to earn it. So I will only spend on things that are worth it. So finally when I landed Hatyai, I finally found out the truth after all the researches. The truths are:

1. I thought street foods are easy to find in Thai. We still need to get in the right area to be able to see a lot of choices. Even in the crowded market like Kim Yong, I didn't see those street foods just everywhere. I said to myself, How far should I walk to find the street foods ah? Maybe I could blame this on our tour guide for not assisting us enough with the location of the street foods for they are  not just everywhere.

2. Just like Malaysians, the sellers have different price for the tourists. Same with them. But then it took away the impression that Thailand with lower currency, Malaysians can shop like mad. It's NOT TRUE. They have some nice bags with owls and elephants on them which we don't really find everywhere here in Sabah, but they are not made of leathers of what. They are meant as souvenirs and not exactly the bag that you use daily to work. The bags that I was interested, was RM50 and above. Still affordable but it's not cheap! I could spend double the money and got one branded imported bag here in Sabah. The first shop that I made big purchases was at this shop selling snacks. I took 7 packs and already 960 Baht which is around RM129 (since 1000 Baht is RM135). I mean, SNACKS! Most of them are familiar snacks just with different packing with some Thai letters but hey, what is the meaning of having higher currency when the same items can be bought with cheaper price or maybe just the same. So, why do I travel so far just to buy something that cost the same? Hello? This is not America. This is Thailand bah! Hahaha

3. I planned to spend anyway since I already changed the money to Baht. I least I wanted to buy shoes, nice clothes, a bag that I can bring to work, a good quality purse...yeah at least all that. But when I entered the shops nearby the hotel, I didn't like most of the bags. The ones that I thought was okay cost 2000 - 3000 Baht. When it's not yet the perfect one in terms of colour and size. Which means I need to prepare more than 3000 Baht (which is RM400 plus) just to get the bag that I really like. Crazy right? I'm the type of person who buys a bag because it's lovely. I don't expect to use the same bag for too long. So, spending too much on a bag is a no no to me. The same with blouses. The nice blouses we can get around 300 Baht but still not so much choice that I like. I was torn between the price and the item. When the price is already in my range, I couldn't find exactly what I like. In other word, it's not worth it.  

I did buy some blouses which were on sale (but there was only 1 shop that offered some discount. So I bought them hastily cos I could give them as souvenir if I don't want to wear them. Or else I might end up not spending my Baht if I refused to buy the items on discounts. On the finak nite, I planned to just buy anything to use all my Baht but still, I failed since our free time was during nightime and most of the shops were closed. Lack of choice I really couldn't force myself to buy anything anymore!

So I ended up with some 2100 Baht balance. A bit frustrated cos I got no bag, no purse (Errr...I already have them all but I mean, I'm a tourist I should get a new bag from the country of the lower currency, don't you think? Hehe) So now I'm back in Sabah, I went to sell back my Baht and got RM281.40. I forgot about my handbag mission cos I didn't actually need it desperately. Suddenly I thought, eh, What if the mission is not yet over? I still could spend all my baht value on my items but with some strategy. I could use the RM to buy the bags! I went to Servay Premiere and went to the branded ladies handbag and they cost around RM200 - RM400 BUT they have some 20%, 50%, 70% and even Best Buy prices. Easily, I picked on handbag RM369 with 70% discount, and a purse of RM339 with 50% discount and the bill was RM274.40! Don't you think I still made the Baht worked for me? Hahahaha

So now, I'm considered happy and I would like to rebrand my Hatyai trip as "fruitful" cos until yesterday, I was quite frustrated with many things about the trip. I was so tired and still brought limited stuff home. The stuff that I spent my Baht on are:

1. 7 snacks from the local snack shop + 2 packs of peanut snacks 

2. Meals from 2 restaurants for lunches 

3. Foods from the street for 3 nights for supper (I never finished them)

4. Drinks from 7 Eleven

5. 2 Hatyai kid shirts for my nephews

6. 2 Hatyai adult shirts for my bro and dad

7. 6 blouses

8. Keychains, fridge magnets, lil purses with Hatyai on it

9. Monobo jelly sandals for my lil feet...hehe

10. Oh forgot, 1 Haytai tshirt for myself too. Hehe

11. 1 bag with elephant print on it (for myself too)

12. All coins donated to the Church during mass

13. I got charged 35 Baht for taking a mineral water from the hotel's fridge. Hahahaha

14. Street kuih the early sellers were selling on our last morning there. Most of them were selling kuih with some pork inside it. I was left with one choice. The little koci-like wrapped kuih with no filling. Just 50 Baht but a lot of them. That was worth it.

Like I said, Hatyai trip could get low points from me. But since my friends were asking about the trip, I decided to compile some videos from the trip and they were so impressed with it! Suddenly I think back all the places we went to, it wasn't all that bad. I mean, I managed to hilight the good things in the video, they all thought it was a wonderful journey and already asked me about the next trip if they could join. Even my mom said it she likes the video so much! Well, who am I to say No, right? Hehe. It's so strange. Sometimes when you thought it's bitter, it is but then it runs out of bitterness. Now only you can feel the sweetness. Oh, I decided this trip is indeed Fruitful. 

I wonder if I can get another sponsored vacation like this. *giggles

Thank you God for the safe journey!

Dear Friends, Have You Any Shame?

This week, I get to see a few freak-titudes unleashed by my friends. I mean, where do you get that attitudes? Kalau sia la kan, bertambah lagi sia inda sanggup bikin gitu kalau sama kawan2 sia. Maybe my own family nampak lagi perangai yang nda patut2, but to my friends, I don't show it. Sebab? Sebab sia pun pandai malu bah, kamu nda pandai malu meh?

First, this clerk from the nearby office, bukan pun considered my friend, just kenalan ja yang I know by name. Before this sudah dia show perangai dia yang totally shameless by "asking me to spare a space in my office" for her to do her PMS license. The thing is, dia minta tu secara "membagi arahan" without even asking me whether or not sia even agree to that shameless idea of hers. Dia sudah plan mau guna barang2 di office sia, which table dia mau duduk, kalau pegawai tu datang untuk checking. Sia pun almost tidak pecaya yang someone can simply walk in my office, and bikin permintaan begitu, tanpa membawa "sedikit pun kemaluan" dalam diri dia. (LOLS). Okay, sorry, sia mode geram. But I never wrote about this, right? That happened maybe like 2 years ago, but I let it go. But that time she really couldn't get the wrong signal from me cos I was totally against it. I told her, the last time someone asked for my help, she paid the space. Oh, when she heard the idea that she might have to pay, dia terus bikin alasan untuk keluar. Dia cakap Boss dia yang suruh dia buat satu lesen baru, but then dia pegi cari pula office orang lain untuk tumpang sedangkan office boss dia pun cuma dekat2 sana ja. Logik ka? Sedangkan boss dia contractor kelas A yang contract beratus ribu. At least boss dia hire dia untuk kerja and bayar gaji dia. At least dorang ada kepentingan satu sama lain. So when it comes to kasi keluar lesen baru, boleh pula dia cari orang lain yg teda kena mengena sama bisnes dorang, yang teda dapat sikit pun keuntungan dari dorang, suddenly dia mau tumpang secara percuma untuk dapat lesen yang buli kasi dorang lebih banyak keuntungan. That time sia berabis nda pecaya dia buli keluar idea gitu, sebab sia betul2 ndatau yang ada urg yang waras, tapi teda rasa malu. SERIOUSLY!

So last2 after 2 years, finally dia dapat juga buka mulut sama boss dia untuk tumpang office boss dia sendiri, untuk bikin lesen PMS tu. Whoa, after 2 years ah. So imagine la, betapa nda senangnya untuk dia kasi jalan idea gila dia tu. Boss dia sendiri pun she took 2 years untuk cari jalan minta tumpang. So finally when the boss allowed, dia pigi lagi kasi susah sia masa sia sedang sibuk. Dia minta tulung, still related to the visit made by the officer yang check untuk lesen PMS tu, dia berabis rush sia. I told her to go to meet another friend yang buli tulung, but dia tidak mau pegi, dengan alasan "Ala malas laahhh". Ok fine, maybe sia pandai kesian, so sia bikin juga untuk dia. Tapi time2 dia bikin tu, banyak la dia tanya2. Sia ni nda juga bersangka buruk sama insan "yang lemah" cos sia fikir, selepas apa yang berlaku, ndakan la dia nda ambil iktibar kan? So, sia letak harga pun harga kesian, iaitu harga yang "lebih kurang kasi free seja" sebab sia anggap ja harga kawan2. So remember that tu amount sia nda kisah but I'm not gonna give it for free atas soal professionalism. So tu pun dia awal2 minta account bank, dan dia akan transfer. Pelik juga la amount gitu kecil pun dia mau transfer, so selepas dia rush2 sia, dia buli simply cakap, lepas transfer sia kasi resit ok? Macamlah harga beratus beribu bah bunyi dia. Ya ampun. Hahahahahahaha

So can you imagine that after 3 days, dia buli buat ndatau ja? Dia limpas2 depan office sia like nothing happened, sampaikan sia saja2 annoy dia pi wasap dia tanya, Ok sudah? Dia cakap, Ala boss belum kasi duit. Sanggup dia pi jual nama boss dia yang drive Land Cruiser tu, kununnya tidak kasi dia duit berapa ringgit ja. Padahal she told me before that she didn't want to trouble her boss  anymore with the license. Which means dia sendiri tanggung kos yang terlibat. Tiba2 masa tu, dia buli drag nama boss dia maybe sebab dia fikir sia punya integriti high enough untuk tidak pegi tagih sama boss dia terus. Dan lagi satu, she thought sia tidak perlu pun itu duit berapa sen sangat so buat apa mau rush2 bayar. Tapi time dia kasi rush sia bikin tu kerja, dia 100% mengharapkan simpati dan timbangrasa sia. So you guys get it what I mean when sia tanya, have you any shame? Sia paling benci perangai yang macam ni. Kau crush trust orang sama kau untuk duit berapa sen ja tapi you speak like kau orang2 hebat. Sikit pun kau nda mengaku or berterus terang yang kau tiada duit, kau terover spend for raya, or kau just plain boros. Kalau pun kau ada masalah pengurusan wang, you shouldn't drag people untuk bail you out. Kalau dia pandai malu, come to me terus terang, dengan rendah diri dan rendah hati, sia akan accept excuse dia dengan senang hati. Sia nda akan maki2 kawan sia gini suka2. 

For your info, while itu kawan bikin gitu, ada another case yang berlaku serentak. Sorang lagi tu kawan@customer sia yang sia tau dia dalam kesusahan. Sia tulung dia urus lesen dia yang dia sudah bertahun-tahun tidak berjaya bikin sebab teda orang yang sudi tolong dia. Dia tidak minta tolong sia pun but sia nampak how I could help her. Sia sendiri offer untuk tolong urus dan bayar lesen dia dulu dan dia buli bayar sia kemudian. You know what? Dia bertungkus lumus cuba jumpa sia hari tu supaya dia buli bayar sia. Sia cakap, It's okayy, no need to rush. Esok2 pun boleh. But dia insist. Sia hargai ooo apa yang dia buat walaupun sia memang sudah tulung dia. You know ka bukan duit itu persoalan dia. It's about trust yang orang kasi sama kau. Sia tau tu kawan susah, tapi dia pandai kenang budi dan berabis mau prove sama sia yang dia hargai pertolongan sia. In fact, dia cakap dia mau kasi sia percentage lagi daripada apa yang dia dapat daripada tu lesen, I said NO NEED lah! Sia tidak mau tu semua. You are not the first person yg sia tulung dalam hal ni dan benda ni tidak menyusahkan sia pun. Sia tidak tamaha duit hasil titik peluh orang yang sia teda hak pun di sana. Sia tidak mau duit kamurang dengan free2.

So 2 kes yang berbeza kan? Yang kawan yg first tu, dia mau tempah masuk blacklist sia ba kali. Mau tau apa macam rasa masuk blacklist sia? Sia kasi burn seja tu last transaction yang susah betul mau bayar tu, and then after that satu request pun sia tidak akan layan biarpun dia ampai berapa pun duit di atas meja. Sia sudah balik2 bikin ni so jangan ingat sia nampak mcm lurus bendul dan pengesian, pas tu dia pigi take advantage.

Ada lagi another type yang "lack of common sense". Kalau tau kawan mau pi melancong, sibuk minta beli itu ini. Time dia pegi melancong, it's not a big deal pun, teda sepa minta apa2. Time dia balik pun teda sepa tanya apa ole2 dia bawa. Tiba2 kalau sia yang pegi, minta beli benda yang bukan2 contohnya sabun dan bra. Sabun tu ada dijual di kedai berdekatan. Jual RM3 pun dia cakap mahal. Jadi minta sia beli terus time sia melancong sebab "mesti sana lebih murah" sebab negara asal. Kalau jual di sini pun baru RM3, berapa murah juga barang tu jadi dia kan? 10 sen? 20 sen? Paling2 pun sama juga mungkin RM1 lebih. Dia sendiri pun pernah pegi tu negara tapi dia cakap dia inda dapat beli banyak sebab nda cukup duit. Ya ampunnn. Kalau sampai sabun2 pun minta orang beli, ertinya orang punya journey ni tidak memakan kos langsung sampaikan apa la juga tolong beli sabun harga RM3 supaya dia dapat jimat RM1 lebih. Orang pi melancong ni mau happy2, bukan mau pening2 fikir mau cari barang2 remeh temeh untuk orang yang kirim gara2 mau jimat sikit duit. Bagus2 orang mau diam2 beli souvenir untuk dorang, dorang pula bagi arahan macam2 sampai sia teda mood sudah mau kasi beli apa2. Kenapa dorang buat sama orang benda yang orang tu nda pernah buat sama dorang ah? 

Oh sorry lah. Sia memang nda suka terima arahan. Sebab sia pun akan susahkan diri sia beribu2 kali sebelum sia tergamak kasi susah kawan, so sia expect my friends do the same to me. Sia hutang dorang 10 sen pun sia berabut mau pi bayar masa tu juga sampai dorang geleng kepala, but sia pun at the same time mau educate kawan2 sia untuk ADA MALU sebelum berhutang, sebelum mau lambat2 bayar dan sebelum suka meminta-minta. Sia nda suka tu perangai ndatau malu. Kamu suka ka?

HAHAHAAHAHAHA. Sandi oo si 256. 

Ini adalah perangai orang yang balik2 jadi baik dan balik2 kena pijak. Usually kami akan bangkit jadi harimau macam ni lah. So ingat, everytime ada orang baik sama kamu, kamu hargailah kebaikan tu. Jangan jadikan orang yg baik dan lurus bendul tu - seorang harimau yang boleh menerkam kau balik bila2 masa. DON'T.  Biarkan dorang terus baik dan ubah sikit perangai yang suka pijak kawan sendiri. Atau mau tunggu sendiri kena pijak dulu baru rasa oren kan? 

LOLS :PPPP

"Dress To Impress"

I am well aware of double standards cos I have been in both situation where I was the victim of it, and the situation where I was the victor of it. There's really no magic in this. People just treat you better when you dress well. As for ladies, we have the advantage cos we have more options of what to wear. 

Actually I meet with limited number of public because I'm limited to my work space most of the times. I seldom want to dress to impress. But lately I have to go out a lot and "get a few things done". Which means I don't do this for a long time and I want to take a shot now. Ah, I love it when I start wanting more. I'm usually happy with what I have, for a very long time. I just say Thank you God for all this. But then one day I realize I can get more. That if I don't get it, I'm underutilized, I'm lazy and I don't use my gifts. This doesn't mean I'm less grateful now but opportunities are part of the blessing. I'm now eligible to grab them so I will not dodge them.

So I now I want to dress to impress because I don't want to be treated less than I deserve. Gone are the days when you have to beg to be served just because you dress modestly. Leave those to your younger days when you didn't understand how things worked. Nowadays, you have to dress like You mean it, like You want it. Dress the way that people don't want to say No to you. Leave nothing to chance that you get denied because people judge you from the outside. Let them do that, but this time just be prepared!

I told them, the last time that I wanted something so much, I'm still enjoying the fruit of the hardwork up to today. I have never wanted that much ever since. I told them I miss the time when I really wanted something and determined to get it. Cos it's not like you can shove it to me and ask me to "256, Trust me you want this!" It will not happen. I have to naturally want it without any force. So can I have my time now?

So again ladies and gents, it's not wrong, but we are just being manipulative of the human sentiment. Just be in people's good book and lets see where that gets us. As far as dress to impress is concerned, you don't have to try so hard. Just be yourself but be at your best. You deserve it!

Can Your Spirit Handle It Alone?

I had a full week last week. No off day but it was out of excitement. I was too obsessed with my work by default. Plus, we had a few celebrations so of course it got me busier. Isn't that busy a good kind?

So finally it's a new week today. Monday started off full of lethargic. I was just too sleepy and I never had this for a while. That moment when my lack of rest fought back, I totally lost my drive to work for that moment. Then I realize, so this is what happens when I try to defy the nature. I usually pay my sleep debt on Sunday but I skipped it yesterday and this is what I get. This is not caused by coffee at all cos I've been skipping my morning coffee for a week, and not one morning that I felt sleepy, until today. Sleepy with a large dose of laziness. So my conclusion is?

Your spirit needs a body that gets enough rest. Your body is the armour for your roaring spirit and it can't manifest when your body is worn out. So today, I stole every time I had to nap. I'm officially a tired human being who thought I could outdo myself all the time, NO, YOU NEED A GOOD REST. Your spirit CAN'T do it alone.

I also experienced some unnecessary loses because of the inefficiency of some beginner. How did I handle it? I right away know I've been thru the same thing when I was a beginner. You are NOT great in one day. Or since birth. You are great because you have done enough mistakes. So I see that they are going thru that now. I decided to just share the losses. If you can afford it, don't have to contemplate whether you should hold on to it and lose your inner peace. YOUR INNER PEACE is priceless. Pick it over some money. I did it and forget about the losses. Money will always come back, don't worry. :)

I plan to have a long sleep after this. Tomorrow I'll come back stronger, yeah.  

Sedangkan Lidah Lagi Tergigit...

Apa kena sama dat pokemon punya titles semenjak dua menjak ni? Hahahahahaha. Okay lets make this short sebab ngam2 sia belum mandi. LOLS.

Actually hati kita ni, sebatu-batu dan se-cold-blood mana sekali pun kita, tetap ada kasih sayang dalam dia. Kasih sayang ni adalah satu perasaan yang kita mau orang yang kita sayang happy, bukan mau hurt or kasi sedih dorang. Tapi kamu sedarkah, kita ada ego dan pride yang meletakkan kita dalam situasi yang "TERUK" sebab tanpa memaksudkan any of it, buli2 kita terlepas cakap, tertinggi suara - sedangkan dalam hati kita ni sebenarnya ada kasih sayang yg banyak untuk dorang. Tapi still kita boleh melukakan hati dorang. And guess what, itu masa juga lah kita feel so so sooo bad, maybe apa yang kita cakap tu untuk defend diri kita, tapi setelah kita rasa yang kita sudah melukakan hati dorang, tidak manis pun feeling dia. Tapi mulut tetap tidak cakap sorry tapi dalam hati balik2 cakap Forgive me God, forgive meeee. Nda ka sandi tu?

So sekali sekala, bila dorang yg tersalah cakap sama sia dan sia kasi biut muka, sia still rasa THIS FEELS MUCH BETTER than sia yang hurt dorang. So sekali sekala dorang pula terlepas cakap, tertinggi suara, walaupun sia bagi dorang silent treatment but deep inside I still know, I DESERVE IT. Belajarlah untuk menerima hukuman. Hehehe.

So akhirnya, ini adalah lumrah dalam kehidupan manusia. Mungkin kalau sudah beratus kali terlepas cakap dan melukakan hati satu sama lain, maybe kita akan belajar untuk lebih baik bila everytime kita akan sakit jiwa bila kita yang hurt orang. As for me, sia ingat tu kakak bagitau sia "Kadang2 ego kita ni tinggi" but I seriously think she was referring to me sebab bukan pertama kali sia dengar orang cakap, "Kau tidak pernah mau even dengar atau pertimbangkan sikit pun idea "bodoh" orang lain yang mungkin buli kau guna, tapi kau tolak bulat2". Sia ingat tu apa orang cakap sama sia. So recently sia made a mistake yang stew-peeedeee, buang duit untuk something yg sia rasa betul, but then bila sia check balik, ampai2 sudah disediakan depan sia something yg lebih bagus, why didn't I even consider it dari mula ah? Sia setuju juga dengan orang2 yang cakap sia Egoistik ni. "You're not always right. Full stop". Trust me, banyak benda yang berlaku dalam minda sia hari ni dan banyak yang pembelajaran yang berlaku di kepala otak sia ni walaupun zahir dia sia sibuk dengan potpet sia dan lain2 hal. 

I may be egoistik tapi akhirnya sia sampai di moment ni yang sia sedar and mengaku. Selagi sia nda mengaku sampai bila sia tidak akan fix it. Maybe I can do better from here. Give dat kemon a chance. Experience yang gini2 la yang akan help us to treat other better. Yeah. 

OK Kah Kawin Awal?

I saw my colleague, looking gloomy this morning. Lepas cuti Raya sepatutnya ceria la sikit kan. Rupanya dia pening dengan anak dara dia yang baru masuk 21 tahun. Baru kawan2 sama satu lelaki umur lebih kurang, belum ada kerja, naik motor, sudah masuk cerita bab "Nanti kita nikah ja, nda mau kenduri2". Uina, matang betul ka usia 21 tahun tu untuk bercakap pasal nikah dan kawin semua ni?

Mama dia ni serabut sebab bekas laki dia yang tidak pernah peduli pasal tu anak2 masa dorang sedang membesar, tiba2 jadi hero bila anak sudah dapat kerja. Tiba2 bapa dia mau masuk campur urusan jodoh dan mau kasi cepat dorang tunang sebab kebetulan family lelaki tu ada kaitan saudara dengan dia. So mama dia ni cakap, BANYAK CANTIK muka dia. Sebelum cerai pun tidak kasi duit, apa lagi lepas cerai. Sedangkan dia pernah pinjam duit anak perempuan dia tu untuk berjudi dan tidak pernah bayar balik. Tiba2 baru dia muncul sekarang dan ambil peranan sebagai bapa yang mau kasi tunang anak. Memang betul, si mama dia ni bergolok gadai mengasi besar dua anak dia tu. Setakat jalan kaki subuh2 pegi ke pekan untuk ambil bas ke tempat kerja, sudah selalu dia bikin. Bawa balik rezeki untuk anak2 dia yang masih sekolah. Si lelaki tu betul2 lepas tangan. In fact terjumpa sama anak di pekan pun dia tegur ja dan berlalu. Sikit buah tangan pun dia teda kasi. 

So mama dia ni bercadang untuk bantah habis-habisan perancangan gila si bapa yang tidak berguna tu. Sia tanya la sama si kakak, Dia confirm ka ni lelaki buli tanggung hidup dia? Kenapa dia beriya-iya sangat mau cakap pasal nikah, berapa tahun sudah kunun dia kenal tu lelaki? Kawan sia tu pun pelik dan salahkan bekas laki dia tu sebab bagi idea bodoh. Tapi sepa tau mungkin anak dia tu pun dalam diam kesukaan. OMG. Guys, negatif ka sia untuk bangkit soal realiti kehidupan? At the age of 21, sia di mana? Sia masih di U, fikiran totally innocent. Ada boyfriend yang sia sendiri inda sure apa feeling sia sama dia cos sia betul2 ndatau camana feeling yang kau rasa CUKUP untuk kau mau kawin dia. Not at that age. Okay, forget about me. Zaman berubah. 

But then look at another friend of mine ni. Sia saksikan kehidupan dia daripada single, sampai la dia nikah sama satu mekanik. Dia berkeras mau sama tu mekanik biarpun tidak direstu oleh satu family dia. Dengan alasan, "cuma dia ja yang sanggup berkorban untuk sia". Logik juga alasan dia kan? Fast forward 7 years later, dengan 2 anak perempuan kecil, kawan sia hempas pulas kerja di pusat kebajikan OKU gaji baru RM 700 lebih, laki dia si mekanik tu yg dia perjuangkan satu masa dulu, tidur di rumah satu hari. Anak2 dorang di hantar pi rumah orang lain yg simpati. Everytime dia datang tempat sia mengadu, sia nampak penderitaan dia. Dia cakap, KAU TAU, MENYESAL SIA KAWINNNNNNNN!! 

Sia rasa tidak salah dia kawin. Kalau sudah dia berkeinginan mau kawin, teruskan lah. Sepa juga tau tu mekanik turns out jadi begitu kan? So ngamkah kita cakap marriage tu satu perjudian? Belum tau kau akan untung atau rugi. Apa pun result dia, kau hadap lah. So untuk kes kawan sia tu yang melarang anak perempuan umur 21 tahun tu untuk terburu-buru kawin sama tu lelaki, ngam ka apa dia buat? Ngam ka dia jadikan contoh kawan anak dia yang sebaya dia yang kawin lebih awal dan sudah ada anak, sekarang hidup tidak menentu sebab ditinggalkan lelaki tu. Kadang2 terpaksa tidur di rumah kawan2 dia bawa anak tu. Adil ka jadikan dorang ni sebagai contoh? Bila sia tanya, BERAPA LAMA SUDAH DIA KENAL TU LELAKI? I said, Kak, sia pernah couple sampai 4 tahun pun sia belum rasa dia buli tanggung hidup sia o. Inikan lagi baru kenal masih malu2 kucing? Then si kakak cakap, ITULAH PASAL SIA LARANG DIA KAWIN AWAL. Sebab sia nampak orang2 yang bahagia ni bukan yg kemiangan mau kawin awal. Nanti kalau dikasi biar ja, silap2 adalah nanti menangis bawa perut balik rumah minta beras. Silap2 bersesak dengan anak menantu tinggal sebumbung gara2 teda tempat tinggal. KEJAM LA BAHHH ayat2 ni semua. Sakit mata sia baca. Hahahahaha.

Tapi bila kau nampak depan mata kau mangsa2 di dunia sebenar, don't play-play bilang si Phua Chu Kang. Kalau la cinta dan nafsu tu buli bikin beli beras, lain sikit cerita dia. Actually pilih pasangan hidup ni teda sepa yang master dalam ni ilmu. Kita semua si dungu yg tidak tau masa depan. Yang kita buli buat adalah membuat penilaian ikut apa yang termampu. Jalan yang nampak berlumpur tu pun belum tau lagi terus berlumpur bila kita pilih untuk harung. Apa lagi jalan yang tersergam indah, confirm la banyak surprises. 

SO, BANYAK SANGAT HU HA, JADI APA LA MAU BIKIN NIII KALAU SEMUA PUN SALAH, SEMUA PUN BERISIKO? 

Hahahahahahaha. 

Pendapat si Dua Lima Anam, kau buat seja la apa yang bikin kau bahagia. Tapi ilmu2 tu kau kutip la juga jangan juga naif tidak berkesudahan. Bila bahagia tu kau decide dengan kebijaksanaan kau yang nda seberapa tu, kira ok sudah tu. Jangan seja jadi buta hati dan tidak ambil masa untuk fikir masak2. Life ni kena ambil risiko tapi jangan secara percuma. Ya la, confirm apa pun keputusan kau mesti ada pahit yg menanti. Paling2 pun kau teinjak duri, berdarah, kau nangis, kau pandai la cari ubat. Tapi promise me, tiada penyesalan selepas memilih satu jalan tu. Ingatlah yang kau di situ sebab kau telah memilih untuk BAHAGIA. Itu seja la formula yang terbaik untuk sia. Sepa la si cerdik pandai yang tidak pernah terluka dan bikin silap tu kan? :)

Bergaya Jangan Sampai Papa Kedana

I have no problems with people yang suka show off apa dia ada, show off kebahagiaan di social media, dan apa ja la yang dia mau share, sia teda masalah. Biasanya sia suka lagi tinguk gambar2 happy, tempat2 best dan makanan2 sedap. Or maybe sengaja or nda sengaja menampakkan kemewahan harta benda, sia ok ja tu. Sebab sia faham juga kan ada org yang ada kemampuan lebih dari kita, so they have what we don't have, at least tumpang sekaki tengok gambar2 dorang. Ok ja bah! No problem at all. Sia suka tinguk kamu bahagia.

Yang problemnya adalah semua yang kau show off tu actually semata-mata mengutip pujian seja sedangkan kau bergolok gadai hanya untuk "mempersembahkan" satu pertunjukan di social media. Well, bergolok gadai dalam konteks yang di belakang tabir sebenarnya kau "makan pun susah". But wait, kalau after all that kau sendiri rasa susah dia, kau nangis sorang2 di belakang langsir rinda2 tu, tanggung sorang2 bebanan sikap bermewah-mewah tu, I STILL HAVE RESPECT for you! Sebab at least kau hadap consequences of kau punya perbuatan sendiri. Agree?

Yang sia akan start lose respect sama kau, is when kau sudah terkena perbuatan kau sendiri, kau sendiri tidak larat mau hadap. Di belakang tabir, actually kau bikin diri kau macam beggar, pegi merayu-rayu di wasap, berhutang sana sini untuk tampung "pertunjukan" tu. Pinjam sampai ribu2, entah dapat bayar ka inda, not for something essential, but more to "kekal kelihatan mewah dan bergaya" di media social. That is to get your daily doses of pujian-pujian ka? Hey, sia teda masalah sama orang yg suka kena puji2. Yang masalahnya adalah when kau kasi babit orang lain, tapi teda sepa yang tau sebab orang yg kau kasi babit tu adalah orang yang hidup biasa2, sederhana dan tidak bermewah. Orang yg inda kisah kalau nda dipuji. Adilkah orang2 ni yg kena tanggung sikap bermewah2 orang lain?

Yang paling2 lagi sia pissed, is when your priority sudah menunjukkan symptom menagih pujian tu sudah capai level kronik, sebab when your own kids punya keperluan you cannot attend, tapi nama kau terpampang di group2 wasap sebagai penderma terbesar di event tu. Oh man, virus apa yang jangkit orang macam ni ah? Level mokiazou tu sudah red alert, padahal baru a few days before merayu2 minta pinjam duit untuk benda urgent. Buli pula jadi penderma terbesar, sedangkan dalam list nama tu kita tau memang ada yang orang berduit dan berpangkat still donate biasa2 saja. tiba2 nama kau pula yg naik dan donate 5 kali ganda. Mimang confirm menang puji-pujian. Muda lagi tapi sudah buli derma banyak. Berharga betul tu bisikan kekaguman yang kau imagine orang akan rasa towards you, tapi realitinya tidak begitu hebat kedudukan kita pun di mata orang. People usually know "orang2 ni" cuma minta puji ja lebih. They usually can tell bah! Cos when you try so hard to impress others di media social, tidak mustahil kau akan bikin juga untuk benda2 lain cos you are just used to puji-pujian. They know you try so hard to be noticed and recognized. Let me remind you again sia betul2 teda masalah sama kau mokiazou. Tapi tolongggg lah buat di atas kemampuan kau yang hakiki. Jangan pula kau kena maki family kau sendiri sebab kau ada duit untuk bermewah tapi sangat berkira untuk benda lain yang more important tapi tidak menghasilkan pujian sebab nda buli ditayang. Uii punya lah sia meluat sama ni perangaiii. I'm soo so meluattt macam sia mau tampiling ja. Hahahahahahahaha. 

Sandi kan coretan sia ni? Mesti kamu fikir, mesti si 256 yg jadi mangsa kena hutang ni. No, you think sia mau layan species begini dan feed their madness? But orang2 yang weaker than me, yg lebih pengesian, yang lebih banyak berkorban, orang2 ni la yang kena. Sia kesian dorang. Orang2 yang kana pandang sebelah mata time ja time si mokiazou sedang senang. Time susah kena cari pula. Ya ampun, tulunglah berubahhh. Jangan bikin gini. Sama la macam tu urang2 yang mengeluh di FB pasal kawan yang asyik keluar negara tapi hutang belum bayar. Setuju ka nda, dorang2 ni nda mustahil adalah orang2 yang satu sen pun nda bayar PTPTN but since list nama tidak akan kena kasi public, they are okay kalau setakat kena gertak surat saman. Bukan orang nampak pun kan? Yang penting yg orang nampak tu biar sentiasa hebat dan mewah. 

This is a sickness. Kalau kau struggling dan diberikan sedikit kesenangan, it's okay to bersederhana. Kau letak 100 amas di atas meja pun teda sepa akan cakap kau kaya, they still think kau "si miskin yg berusaha mau dipuji kaya" tapi they know silap2 beras di rumah kau pun kau susah mau beli. DARN, jaat betul sia tulis ni semua but we have seen so much. Jangan jadi gini, guys. TULUNGLAH! Bermewahlah atas kemampuan diri dan bukan atas kesusahan orang lain. Earn itu lifestyle yang kau mau dan jangan babitkan orang lain. Biarlah kau si biasa2 tapi buli belanja family makan tanpa satu dunia puji. 

Note: Ya sia tau sandi betul bahasa sia di sini. Sia nda mau bersopan santun sudah depan kamu, macam la kamu nda besa kan. LOLS

The Crowd You Choose To Be With

Something yang sia observe sendiri long before this but I never wrote about it. It's about picking the right crowd. Sebab people who flock in the same crowd treat each other "their way" and if you happen to be there, they will treat you the same. Cos they don't know you, and don't expect them to. If you be in the wrong crowd, get prepared to be treated less than you think you deserve, and it's okay if you can handle it. It's okay if you can handle being treated like you have never achieved anything in your life, like you have not earned any respect in your life, like you have a bank account of a beggar. Yeah, then don't pick your crowd. But I have come to a stage in my life that I don't want people to just UNDO everything that I've done. Not that I think you know me, cos you don't. I'm unknown anyway. So maybe I'll just pick my crowd and the fact that we don't know each other will never be an issue. For justice sake, can we just be in the crowd that we belong to, shall we?

Ala, Sepa La Mau Beli Kan?

Source: Google images

Tadi sia terjumpa sorang kenalan yg sudah bertahun-tahun sia nda jumpa. And dia tanya2 la sia pasal kerja. Dia sudah try beberapa bisnes tapi sentiasa tidak jalan, jadi dia tau kepayahan buat bisnes. Memang nda dinafikan dia kategori "tegar" juga dari segi sentiasa cuba bidang baru kalau bidang lama tidak menjadi. So pada anggapan dia, semua orang pun akan lalui kepayahan macam dia, dan expect orang ambil jalan yg dia ambil iaitu quit dan cuba lain bidang. So bila dia terjumpa sia tadi, dia lontar banyak soalan2 skeptical dan prejudice yang 100% berpandukan kepada pengalaman dia sendiri. Sampaikan satu part yang dia begitu confident cakap, "Ala, sepa la mau beli kan?" bila dia tau sia masih doing the same field sejak bertahun dulu. Sia nda kecil hati langsung, in fact sia cuma ketawa, cos sia tidak mau panjangkan cerita dengan menafikan dakwaan dia tu. Tapi kalau dia cakap gitu sama sia bertahun yg lalu, mungkin sia akan kecil hati dan kasi tanda X di dahi dia nda mau kawan dia lagi. LOLS.

Why, sebab sia faham something pasal life ni. Iaitu liku hidup kita yang berbeza. Pilihan kita yang berbeza dan penilaian kita yang berbeza. Dan nasib kita juga berbeza bergantung kepada berapa kali opportunity meets preparation. If ada 100 opportunities datang sama kau tapi kau belum bersedia untuk grab dorang, mungkin kau tidak akan dapat tu lonjakan. But please understand that bukan semua orang akan constantly unprepared like you. Ada orang yg pickup cepat. Ada orang yang grow enough dalam satu tempoh yg kau masih terkial-kial. Ada orang juga Sudah Jumpa, sedangkan kau masih mencari-cari. Timing kita tidak sama. That's why kau dan dia tidak sama biarpun kau sudah lalui liku yang sama suatu masa dulu, tapi look at where we are now. You are not there all the time so you only think you know, but you don't. 

Anyway, sepa juga cakap hidup ni senang kan? Terpaksa juga dilalui saat2 kena pandang sebelah mata sebab kami2 ni tidak akan terus2 menang di mata orang lain. Tapi orang2 yang high-spirited tidak utamakan itu semua. They have a goal. They have a dream.  And that's the journey they want to conquer. That's it. They don't need you to understand it. So, do you have that kind of "kekebalan"? Hehe.