To Get or Not To Get Engaged

Speaking of getting engaged, is it something compulsory to you? Usually when the relationship is going steady and both parties are ready for a commitment, they will think about getting engaged. But how important it is?

I beg your pardon because I don’t really know about traditions and stuff. Maybe it’s not right for me to question the importance of engagement if it’s written in your traditions or laws. As far as I know, engagement is “an agreement” between two persons, witnessed by the families – that they are committing to marrying each other. Some people got engaged for only weeks, and some for years. Many of the engagements out there don’t last in marriage. Huh?

Broken engagements? Ouch!! What’s the difference with relationships? Is it just the ring?

Engagement doesn’t legalize pre-marital sex. If you got pregnant even when you’re already engaged, it’s still considered “adultery”. So, you guys tell me what’s good with engagement? Tell me one!!!

Honestly speaking guys, sia tidak berapa suka the idea of “bertunang” or getting engaged. Buat apa mau tunang2 kalau memang belum ready mau kawin? Mungkin sia sudah dengar cikgu sia pernah cakap, “Jangan kamu bertunang awal2, nanti kamu menyesal.” Dia cakap begitu sebab dia sudah lalui benda tu. Dia bertunang sebelum dia further study oversea. Bila di luar negara, dia jumpa banyak lagi lelaki yg bagus2 dari tunang dia. Dia menyesal sebab dia bertunang awal2. Malang juga untuk dia sebab mengikut adat dia, dia kena balas balik tu hantaran pertunangan sebanyak dua kali ganda kalau dia yg putuskan pertunangan tu. Akhirnya dia terpaksa juga teruskan. Upacara sudah berjalan. Ikatan sudah dibuat. Banyak hati kau kena jaga. Bukan setakat kau jumpa lelaki baru yg lagi best, kau suka2 ja kasi putus tunang.

Ouch. Again I ask, What’s good about getting engaged?

Ada yang mendidih darah kalau sia cakap pasal ni. Sebab ada orang yg anggap engagement ni penting. Tidak boleh tidak. “Kau girlfriend sia ba, sia cuma mau kita tunang saja, itu pun tidak bolehkah?” Dalam kes seorang lelaki, boleh diteka kenapa dorang mau bertunang. Usually these guys are insecure. Dorang belum confirm tu perempuan akan mau kawin dengan dorang. So dorang akan cepat2 mau ikat tu perempuan supaya at least dorang sudah book atau taruh tanda sama tu perempuan, “Ini sia punya”. Sekurang-kurangnya lepas tunang, kau tidak perlu worry lagi dia mau lari. BETUL MEH?

Ada kaki bah tu geng. Kalau kau ikat pakai tali pun, belum tentu dia tidak boleh lagi. Apa lagi setakat TUNANG!!! (Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Erkss. Kidding guys.) Apa la you guys heran sangat kalau ada orang yang tidak percaya sama “keberkesanan” sebuah pertunangan tu. So jangan la you guys merajuk sangat kalau gfriend kamu tidak mau tunang. Jangan la merajuk sangat ba. Cuba paham sikit.

Satu benda yang diberikan oleh sebuah ikatan pertunangan adalah…

PRESSURE!!!

Yes, you heard me. Bagus2 kamurang jadi couple steady ja, satu kali lepas tunang, orang asyik tanya, “Bila mau kawin oh?” Apa lagi kalau si lelaki tu belum ada duit. Paning kepala tu perempuan mau menjawab. Inda kan dia pula tanya, “Bila kita mau kawin ni?? Orang tanya2 sudah ni!!” Nahh, tu masa baru kamurang mau bercakaran. Satu tahun, dua tahun – nda juga pandai kawin2. Apa lagi tu mulut orang kampung, becakap macam tu mulut burung. *Lols. Panas terus ba telinga si kawan. Masa tu baru kamurang paham, Sepa suruh tunang awal2?

Konsep yg terbaik adalah…Bertunang sekiranya kamu sudah ready untuk kawin. Bila semua perkara tu kamu sudah ada, tinggal mau urus majlis kawin tu lagi – Ha! Masa tu baru la kamurang tunang. Ini tidak. Pegi tunang suka2 ja. Kena tanya bila mau kawin? “Entah laaa ni. Tinguk laa kalau ada duit turun dari langit. Alaa, jan tanya la baa. Tau juga tu nanti.” Jadi tunang tu untuk apa? Untuk saja2 mau show off dengan orang kah?

Actually, sia tau ba jawapan kepada soalan2 sia tu. Lepas tunang, kau ada lesen mau berkepit ke hulu ke hilir. Boleh datang rumah perempuan tu tanpa kena pandangan setajam pisau daripada jiran2 kau. Dan untuk sesetengah lelaki, ikatan tunang ni kasi lesen untuk kasi jadi yang aksi “ringan2” pegi ke yang “berat2”. Ada juga kes yg sia dengar, perempuan tu jadikan pertunangan tu sebagai “syarat” kalau boyfriend dia tu mau tidur dengan dia. Seolah-olah pertunangan ni adalah sebuah “perkahwinan” dengan costnya jauh lagi murah.

U men want to know why some ladies are so freaked out with getting engaged? Sebab seolah-olah dorang hilang kebebasan sebelum tiba masanya. Kalau sebelum tunang pun sudah kena control, apa lagi lepas tunang? Mau kawan sama lelaki lain pun salah. Sesak nafas wooo!! Paham kah? Orang pun ada kehidupan juga ba. Kalau setakat belum tau bila mau kawin, duit pun belum cukup, bagus jangan dulu sibuk2 mau tunang. Nda juga lari tu kalau sudah jodoh.

Actually, bertunang ni satu kemestian. Kan surat tunang tu diperlukan untuk ikut kursus kawin. Tapi masa tu memang ngam la untuk tunang. Sebab sama2 sudah tinggal kawin lagi. Tidak payah mau drama2 lagi masa tempoh pertunangan tu. Memang tujuan bertunang tu untuk menuju perkahwinan kan? So kalau setakat mau bertunang tapi masih mengira bintang di langit, memang cari nahas. Sia cakap ni sebab sia belajar dari pengalaman cousin sia yg akhirnya kena “bayar kawin dia sendiri” sebab terlampau kena pressure – sebab tidak kawin2 juga lepas 3 tahun. Masa majlis tunang tu dorang pikir boyf dia tu akan dapat kerja dalam masa setahun, rupanya lepas 3 tahun masih tidak dapat kerja. Akhirnya dia terpaksa berkorban. Sama juga orang cakap2. Semua org tau yang dia sponsor semua belanja kawin dia. Bukan mau berkira duit atau apa, but mungkin pertunangan tu terlalu premature ba. That’s why sia cakap, the best time to get engaged is when kamurang cuma tinggal mau urus kawin. Tidak payah mau create perangkap hanya untuk diri sendiri masuk perangkap tu.

Apa guna setakat sebuah ikatan, tapi hati tidak bahagia? Rumahtangga pun senang hancur, ini lagi setakat tunang. Yang penting cinta dan kesetiaan dalam hati ba geng!

So…

To Get or Not To Get Engaged? It’s your decision.

"Is It Right To Like Him?"

My close cousin came to my workplace yesterday and we had a long talk. From her face, I know that something is going on.

I was right. She told me that she finds herself attracted to a guy in her workplace. The guy is…Again, a married man with 2 kids. That’s not the main problem. The main problem is, my cousin already has a steady boyfriend, about to get engaged. But since her boyfriend is staying out of town, my cousin told me that, she feel lonely and that she easily finds comforts in someone else. See that? She knows what’s going on, but she can’t help it.

She asked me about my opinion on this.

“What if the guy really into me?”

The way she said it, I saw some excitement in her face. Maybe because she spent years giving attention to one guy, and then finally she has a new fan. It is exciting, I know. Finding out that someone admires you is a wonderful thing. From her question, I know that she’s more excited to the fact that the guy might really fall for her. She told me the things that the guy did to support the possibility that this guy fancies her.

You guys know what? It kinda worrying to see her feeling the excitement for the wrong reason. Getting a new fan is exciting, but where does it take her?

I told her that getting a new fan – is not something very unusual. Single guys, married man, widowers – you name it. Anybody could get attracted to you. But how far does this matter to us? In her case, she really wants to hear me say that I think the guy really falls for her. But what’s the catch? “He’s Married.” He has nothing to lose, and nothing so good to offer to her. Ouch?

He can show you that he likes you, give you things and say things that make you laugh, but you can’t take that way too seriously. Yes, it doesn’t matter what the guy feels for her cos --- IT’S NORMAL. Temporary attraction happens all the time. My cousin is sort of letting herself getting too consumed with this. I’m not trying to sound like I’m discouraging my cousin to develop a special feeling, but since that she comes to me for opinions, I’m just doing my part. I must tell her what I really think.

She wrote it in her diary about her attraction to the new guy and her boyfriend found out about it and they almost argued. So is it worth it? To fight over a “feeling of awe” over a new fan, who is married? I told my cousin, if each of us ladies entertains these easy come easy go fans, we could get too busy to spend time for the people who really deserve our attention. My point is – It’s Not Worth It!

Actually, my cousin terbeliak biji mata juga dengar sia cakap macam tu. If she expects me to say something nice just to put a nice cover to my honest views, those days are over. Dari muka dia sia nampak “that glow” that you can see in the people who are in love. I’m happy tengok muka my cousin macam tu. Cuma that glow is for the wrong reason. Sia cakap sama dia, If you want to like someone, just entertain the feelings. Don’t hold yourself. Just that, you must know the limit. Jangan nanti apa yang ada di genggaman tu terbang, yg dikejar pun tidak dapat. Especially with married men yang memang teda masalah dengan rumahtangga dorang. Memang mau cari nahas kalau hook up dengan lelaki2 mcm ni. They are just up for the thrills of chasing a new person and once you give in, that’s how soon they say bye bye. Hey, not that they never warn you. The warning whistles, Hello? I’m married okay?

“So macamana mau kawal perasaan ni? Bukan senang ba kalau sudah tertarik.”

Sia cadangkan dia, “Jangan lupa yg kau ada boyfriend yang sudah plan mau kawin kau. I think kalau kau ingat benda tu, mungkin kau tau di mana limit kau bila berkawan dengan lelaki tu. Remember, he has nothing to lose. Di sini la kau kena guna kebijaksanaan kau. Don’t be the last one to cry.”

If you guys minat or suka dengan sesiapa pun, just go ahead saja. Have a good relationship, spread the wings of love and the positive energy. But depending on who the person is, you must know where the line to not cross because when you cross it, it will backfire you. Kesilapan or keterlanjuran – Oh sorry sia terpijak kasut kau, or Oh sorry sia tertumpah air di baju kau. Semua boleh dipulihkan dengan kemaafan. But when it comes to, “Oh sorry, sia terlanjur sudah cinta sama kau.” Ada kah benda macam tu? Kalau benda tu berlaku, bukan kau patut minta sorry dengan org tu, tapi dengan diri kau sendiri sebab sedar nda sedar, kau jadi orang yg paling kesian dalam situasi tu. Hati kau terseksa bila sedar yg situasi kau tidak membawa apa2 hasil pada diri kau. Itu masa baru kau mau cakap, “Sia Menyesal”. Kau nangis ka, kau meraung ka, sia cuma boleh tengok ja.

Sia harap, cousin sia dapat idea daripada pendapat sia. Sia cakap main ikut logik saja ba. Kalau apa yang sia cakap tu tidak logik, kau senang detect di mana silap point sia tu. But if I’m right? Sia bukan dapat apa2 juga kan? Sia pun macam kamu juga, iaitu try untuk tidak buat kesilapan yg orang lain sudah buat. Mau berapa kali orang buat silap baru kita boleh belajar dari kesilapan tu? Tidak cukup2 lagikah sia tinguk kawan2 sia nangis pasal satu kesilapan? Adakah sia perlu juga untuk rasa sendiri menangis atas kesilapan yg sama just untuk cakap, “Oh baru sia tau sakit pula kena macam ni.” Nahhhh…actually this is a lifetime battle. Decide what’s best for you :)

"I Will Be..."

As you guys can here, it is the title of the mp3 song that I put in my blog. Wondering why I pick this song? Everything here is for a reason, you guys should know that by now :)

Before that, I would like to tell you guys that I’m a song lover. I went to a singing competition when I was a kid and I was actually picked to get to the next round *giggles. But I didn’t go because I freaked out. I couldn’t handle the pressure of competition. But people always know that I lurveee singing. I sing a lot. I memorise lyrics and sing along. I even imagine the songs in the form of drama – just like when I read a storybook. It’s just amazing how passionate I get with songs sometimes. Hehehehehe.

Okay, Why I pick this song I Will Be to be my blog’s soundtrack? The original singer is Leona Lewis and Avril Lavigne made her version which is wonderful on its own. So what you are hearing now is the assimilation of both singers, mixing the two versions in one song. Actually, I am tempted to change the music to another song now that it has been around for more than a month but everytime I listen to the song again, I feel so heavy to let it go. There are many great songs out there but this one could hit this sense that I’m trying to convey to you guys. It has a sense of individualism, it has a sense of passion, deep emotions and hope, making up for mistakes and appreciation towards the loved ones – which are the elements that speak of me and so much to do with the flow of this blog. I realize that I often talk about matters that has to do with love and stuff. I don’t plan it. Love is just a big part of our lives. There’s just so much we can discover about love.

This song is so special just from the way it is sung. It’s like pouring the emotions and if you let it, it can hit you right at the center of your heart. It can make you feel the heat of the passion. If you can feel it, you are getting my rhythm bebeh :)

A Special Kind Of Special

There’s this very cute “scenery” happening in front of me earlier this day.

A acquaintant came to me and we talked about things; her job and then her relationship. This girl is always a cheerful one. She talks less about conflicts and rather sees things on the surface only. I see that as an advantage :) The way she talks, as if everything is meant to be simpler than it is. Yes, with the smile on her face almost all the time. In a way, it’s a pleasant thing to talk to her once in a while. She’s such a positive energy to be around with.

Then, she asked my opinion, what would a guy like for birthday? I was clueless. It’s not like I know the guy she’s talking about. Then she said,

“This guy sent a pair of clothes to my house yesterday. He bought for me.”

Then I went, “Wowww…that’s so niceee!”

“Who is he?”, just a question I didn’t care whatever the answer would be.

I saw that she suddenly blushed. “My boyf. Actually, this guy is deaf. But he’s so nice.”

I went, “Huh? Deaf? Oh ok ok.”

Actually, memang jarang kita dengar kes macam ni. Usually when someone talks of someone special, memang pun kita assume orang tu normal. Akhirnya sia jumpa kes macam ni, then sia rasa best juga. It’s something new to learn, right guys?

Then dia kasi tinguk sia pic tu lelaki dari handphone dia. Wowww!!! Cuteee!! Seriously!! But since itu cuma berpandukan satu gambar saja, I thought that he might not be that cute in person. Not unless I have a few more pictures to see. Guess what? Sia tidak tau pun yang perempuan tu actually sedang menunggu boyfriend dia tu datang! Then confirm la sia pun dapat jumpa lelaki tu bila dia sampai.

Sibuk perempuan jawab SMS sedang kami cerita2, mungkin dia bagitau lelaki tu mana mau jumpa. Sia tanya la, “Your boyf boleh SMS macam orang biasa juga? Language dia macamana?” Then the girl said, “Memang ada tunggang langgang sikit bahasa dia, but boleh dipahami.” For me, itu sudah cukup bagus. Remember guys, dia ni pekak dan org pekak ni kan automatik bisu, sebab dorang mana boleh cakap apa yg dorang nda ble dengar. So bukan senang untuk ajar dorang membaca sebab bukan dorang tau bunyi tu words or huruf. So kalau dia boleh SMS sudah satu perkara yang bagus. Lelaki ni sudah cukup bertuah sebab dia ada kerja tetap walaupun dia masih muda. Dan dia sangat cuteeee!!! *Lols. Sempat lagi dia videocall perempuan tu, dan perempuan tu show me the phone…Sia nampak lelaki tu senyum2 sana sedang berjalan menuju ke tempat kami tu. Then I went, “Omigawd…cutenyaaaa.” Hahahahahahahahaha. Sempat lagi ba kan.

Akhirnya dia datang depan mata sia. Lagi kiut dari gambar !! But wait. Ada lagi yang menarik pasal lelaki ni. Sia offer ambil gambar dorang together, sebab dorang ni baru juga couple, so belum pernah ambil pic berdua. So sia cakap, bagus sia snap pic kamu. Nahh…posing la dorang ni. Itu lelaki sangat fotogenik. Sia pun dekat2 cair ba tinguk senyuman dia. *Lols. Ok, that’s not all. Ada lagi yg menarik pasal dia ni. Lepas sia snap picture tu, sia kasi tinguk dorang. U guys know what?

Since dia tidak boleh cakap, sia and girlf dia tu kena tengok reaksi muka dia sama ada dia suka ka tidak dengan pic tu. Masa ni la sia found out satu perangai lelaki tu yg sekiut muka dia. Dia geleng kepala tinguk picture tu. Dia buat isyarat yg rambut girlf dia tu tutup muka dia. So dia mau sia snap lagi. So girlf dia tu kasi bagus2 sudah rambut dia ni kali. Then sia snap lah then show dorang tu pic. Terus, dia geleng kepala lagi, dia cakap, dia mau close up muka ja. Dia tidak mau ada badan yg nampak. Adoiiii… Hahaahahaha. But perangai dia buat sia senyum. Then sia snap lagi dekat2. Dia masih tidak senyum lagi bila nampak pic tu. Ouch, what’s wrong again? You guys know what?

Dia signal suruh girlfriend dia tu pakai lipstick bahh!!!! Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Duii giaaaaa. Imagine guys, dia berabis buat tu signal, dia buat signal mcm pakai lipstick, and then kasi taruh2 bedak di muka – Duiii giaaa…sia berabis ketawa tinguk dia. Girlf dia tu bukan main bengang sama permintaan boyf dia tu. Sebab girlfriend dia ni sempoi ba, bukan jenis yang bersolek. Since sia pakai lipstick masa tu, sia takut2 pula yg boyf dia tu actually dapat idea tu daripada sia ba. Sebab kami 3 orang ja sana. *Lols. Girlf dia tu berabis buat signal yg dia tidak mau pakai lipstick. But boyf dia tu macam berkeras juga suruh dia pakai lipstick. Then? Mana mau cari??

Hahahahahahahaha. Bahh apa lagi! Minta pinjam sia laa!! Adoiiii…sia memang tidak akan share lipstick or barang2 macam tu sebab orang cakap kuman boleh tersebar kalau share2. Jadi, nasib baik ada juga lipstick sia yang sudah hampir habis, but sia belum buang. Then sia pass dia la, suruh dia pakai yg tinggal2. Sebab asal2 saja boyf dia tu senang hati. So lepas tu sia snap lagi pic dorang. Dan kali ni baru boyf dia tu senyum!!! Gembira terus bah dia!!! Hehehehe. Actually, lepas ja snap gambar tu, sia berabis “mengumpat” pasal dia sama girlf dia tu. “Punya kiutt dia ni. Fotogenik lagi tu. Effortlessly semua pic dia cute ba.” Terus girlf dia tu pun iya2 ja sebab dia pun setuju. Yang bestnya…apa ja kami cakap, boyf dia tidak boleh dengar. Paling2 pun kalau kami ketawa, baru dia tinguk kami. But terlintas pula di hati sia, terus sia cakap “But sayang kan dia tidak boleh dengar kita puji dia?” Terus dia cakap, “Ya, but sia selalu bagitau dia di SMS tu. Dia tau juga ba tu yang dia tu kiut.” Hehehehehehe.

Walaupun dia pekak dan bisu, tapi dia sangat2 particular dan cerewet punya lelaki. Dia jenis yg tau apa yg cantik di mata dia. Dia belikan baju dan seluar baru untuk gfriend dia tu pun mungkin sebab dia mau girlf dia tu ubah penampilan dia. Ini satu pengalaman yg menarik bagi sia. Walaupun dia ada kekurangan tu, dia tetap mau yg terbaik setakat yg dia afford untuk dapat. Dan sia syukur juga sebab walaupun dia pekak dan bisu, God kurniakan dia dengan tarikan fizikal yang akan membolehkan dia diterima dengan lebih mudah. Suka atau tidak, perkara tu memang membantu. Dalam hati sia syukur juga sama Tuhan sebab kelebihan yang ada pada dia. Sekurang-kurangnya, diskriminasi terhadap dia ni mungkin berkurangan. Yes, benda ni teda kaitan sama sia. But entah since when sia start “bahagia” kalau nampak keberkatan orang2 yang ada kesusahan. Sia pandai rasa bersyukur secara diam2. It’s genuinely feeling happy for them. Mungkin sebab sia umpamakan sia berada di tempat dorang, dan sia dapat keberkatan yg orang lain tidak dapat, for sure sia akan bersyukur. Bagi sia itu semua kebesaran Tuhan ba.

Mungkinkah mereka yg bisu dan pekak ni lebih celik hati dari kita? Sepa tau kan? :) Semoga mereka yg mempunyai kekurangan deria macam tu diberkati dan dapat hidup mcm orang lain juga, sebab mungkin ada reason why people prefer to call them “special”, cos they Are special in their countless little ways :)

It Made My Day

I remember feeling so bad one morning. It wasn’t a good feeling to start the day. While I was sitting at the living room waiting for my mom, I actually saw this view of the pillow beside me. I saw this cute mouse smiling. I couldn’t help but smile.

It was just an ignorable view of a pillowcase – let alone be able to go over my shady mood, but surprisingly, it did work wonders on me. By the time my lips started to form the smile, it actually a whole change to my whole system. My brains, my muscles – they were all reacting to the smile. Suddenly, life wasn’t that gloomy and dark anymore.

I realize that it doesn’t necessarily seeing a cheque with your name on it, or a fancy car presented to you or a even the latest model of mobile handphone your boyfriend slips in your drawer – to make you smile. It could just be something that is always there around you but you never really care.

And that day, the picture on the pillow case did the magic. If only I did not smile that morning, life could be gloomy and cloudy for the rest of the day. It would not only affect my life, but also my work and my relationships with the people around me. It could be just a freaking smile, but it sure goes a long way. It was the smile that started the whole new impression about going about my day.

Every single thing in this life has a purpose if only we could appreciate them, and then and only then we are able to see things with the value beyond money and ranks, then only we realize that life is so much more than just of happiness, sadness, problems, successes. Life is built from abstract elements that could all come to the surface for us to savour because even if we don’t, they will still be there. It’s just a big loss on our side to not see them when we are still alive. :).

At least that’s what I think :)

"A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed"

Ia bermaksud, “Kawan yang sebenar adalah kawan yang ada ketika kamu memerlukan mereka.” Nah, now that you guys know, think for a moment. Adakah kamu seorang kawan yg sebenar?

I remember 2 days ago. My bestfriend rang my phone at the wrong timing. I couldn’t pick up. I turned my phone off. I was too stressed out that time. I didn’t want to talk on the phone. And then I turned it on again and SMS her, “Talk some other time. I want to rest now.” Actually, it’s good to SMS before you call. Because at least you can tell if the person is free or in the right mood to just chatting for fun. I felt bad because I didn’t get to entertain her call. Terus dalam hati terpikir, “Kawan jenis apa sia ni ah?”

But I think it’s too much to blame myself on that. I think my friend will understand. She always does. She was once my roommate back in hostel. Actually, speaking of a “Real friend”, I think I fail in most aspects. Seriously. Look who’s talking, people. I have friends who ask me, “256, where is your commitment? It’s ZERO, you know that?” Yes, with that kind of remark, what can you expect from someone like me?

My friends know that too. I can contribute my time listening to you, giving my opinions. But really, when it comes to more than that, I fail. I won’t leave my work just so I could come to your place and help you out with something. My friends know that if they need help in the early morning should they get stuck anywhere, 256 is not the person to call. Maybe it’s true that when it comes to Commitment, I’m always suck.

I don’t usually be the first one to SMS or call my friends to say Hello. I remember this new guyfriend of mine. I kinda like him a lot, and he sure likes me as much. But that’s all I can give. He complained me about my commitment. He got really sick to do everything first. He tried it once that he didn’t SMS me for a month, and guess what? We totally lost contact for 1 month. Hehehehehe. Although I did wonder his whereabouts, but I did nothing. And when he finally sms me back, I asked, “Oh, not busy with the other girls anymore ka?” Then he exploded, “256!!! I never complain to you that you never SMS me until I SMS you, OK??” (*Lols). Then I laughed. He was right. Hahahaahahahahahaha.

But still there are things that my friends would come to me for. I don’t know, but I always take it seriously if the compliment comes from my bestfriend. She once told me, “You know I make the best decision because I have the best counselor,” after our long session of heart to heart. I mean, this friend of mine got into arguments with me in the past. She slept in the same room with me and knew how I loved to sing in the shower and how turned on the loud volume even when she was trying hard to read her book. She knows my shortcomings. So everything that comes out from her mouth about me is reliable. I remember during the last days in college, she wrote in my book – “You’re my bestfriend ever.” I felt so touched because actually since the days we were roommates, we were separated because of our different faculty. We hardly met. And occasionally during birthdays or special occasions, we would held a party so that was where we met again. So when she still decided that I’m her bestfriend, I feel so appreciated.

Still, am I a friend in need? I hate to say that I don’t think I am. Or maybe, not yet. I know there are many things that I should do in order to be called a friend in need. I’m just not there yet. It’s funny that we know our weaknesses and still feel helpless about it right? Or maybe, I am comfortable this way for now. My life is already a mess for me to sort things out. I can’t be a superfriend. All I can give my friends is if I call them friend, I will back them up when people talk bad about them. I will cry with them when they are sad, and I will be happy for them when they are happy. And I will pray for their good life truly from the heart. And I also won’t keep jealousy or vengeance inside me – so they can be rest assured that although I give very little, but the little I give is the most honest thing I can give. If that’s all I’m capable of giving, it could be all there is for me to offer :)

Our friends are our treasure. Nobody is ever rich enough, happy enough and content enough to go without a friend. So, lets give our best for our friendship. A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed.

Note: Knowing this, I also don’t ask much from my friends. I only ask them the same I could give them. That sure is not much, kan? :)

SExUAL Harrassment

Dengar sekali macam…Ah, it must be sexual violence yang melibatkan kekasaran fizikal. Some of us pikir yang “Ah, I will never have to deal with it in the kind of friendly environment I’m in, with the people that I deal with.” Well, maybe you have to decide on that once again.

Issue ni sudah rancak diperkatakan sejak bertahun-tahun yg lalu. Masa tu sia masih at school. I thought that it was exaggerated a bit too far. I mean, at the same time the rape cases are still very much everywhere in the media – Isn’t sexual harassment sounds like a bit petty? But then, when they keep coming with new act to protect people from this, it’s slowly sounding more serious. I mean, “That serious ka??”

I remember this friend of mine. Masa dia sampai di hostel tu, dia marah2. “Terukk o that guy tadi!!! Truly a sexual harassment!” Then sia terpikir, Wah, finally someone is using that word in a conversation. I didn’t understand the word actually. Sexual harassment at the campus? Ouch! How? Then she explained, masa students sesak2, suddenly someone grabbed her butt dari belakang. And guess what? She saw the guy!!! It was a familiar face at the campus. He’s Indian and there was very few Indian students back then. When she described about the guy, we all knew who she was referring to. He was a nerdy and dedicated guy. I almost didn’t believe that the same guy actually grabbed my friend’s butt. The next time we saw the guy, my friend mesti cakap, “Yaiii geli sia tengok tu sex maniac. Jaga2 la kamu.” So is this what they call sexual harassment?

I learnt later that Sexual Harassment doesn’t necessarily about violence. It could be the simplest form of sexual expression. Yes, even when it doesn’t involve body contact!! Now we know how easy it is for one to commit an act of Sexual Harassment. It’s so easy that you might not know that you’re actually doing it to someone!! Omigawd!!! *Lols

Let me share with you my experience. Remember I attended the short-term course? Yes, it was during that time that I actually understood what sexual harassment is. I remember that although I wasn’t the class leader, but everyone seemed to refer to me regarding anything. So memang biasa la kalau my classmate call2 sia untuk tanya macam2 hal. But sia allow benda tu semasa kursus tu berjalan. Selepas beberapa bulan and kursus tu berakhir, sia tidak expect untuk dorang still terus contact dengan sia. Ada this one guy – I recalled him as one smart guy, the smartest among the guys there. Dia ni smart tapi “gete” banyak!! Bukan lagi sikit! Hahahahaha. Words2 lucah tu dia cakap macam air ja. Sampaikan dia teda intention untuk memaki pun dia still akan cakap benda2 lucah. Sudah tau dia ni macam ni, sia memang tidak mau biasakan diri sama dia ni. Kalau di kelas tu bolehlah kacau2. Masa tu, kami masing2 tau yang dia ada girlf and sia ada boyf – No secrets.

After the course, this guy dapat kerja di bank. Dia masih call2 sia saja untuk cerita2. Call me masa malam lagi kalau dia overtime. Masa tu sia tidak paham kenapa dia mau call2 sia. Call la ba sumandak dia kan? Why call me? Masa tu, honestly speaking, sia tidak suka bergayut sama mana2 orang (apa lagi lelaki) di phone melainkan sama boyf sia. I didn’t take call dari orang lain. But dia ni pecah tradisi. Dia call sia balik. Dia selalu sebut benda2 yang tidak masuk topic. Such as,

“Eh you think insurance cover ka kalau a guy punya anu terseliuh masa dia sibuk2 masturbate? They should cover ba kan?”

So kalau dia cakap benda2 gitu, sia ketawa ja dan tidak layan dia. Lepas tu, dia keep sentuh hal2 yang macam tu. Sia tidak banyak cakap kalau dengan dia ni. Sia cuma banyak dengar saja. So at times, dia akan cakap pasal blue film – “Huiiyoo punya best tu blue yg sia baru2 tinguk. Orang Sabah punya ba. Punya sampit tu perempuan.” Something like that la dia comment2. Sia pun tidak sanggup mau tulis sini. Hehehehe. But really…sia ada satu perasaan yang “sangat2 tidak selesa” bila dia cakap benda2 mcm tu. Sebab SIAPA DIA untuk cakap hal2 macam tu dengan sia ba kan? Dia bukan pun considered “a friend” to me ba. Just a kenalan. So everytime number dia keluar, sia sakit jiwa mau angkat. But sia angkat juga sebab sia tidak mau rude sama dia.

Sampai la satu kali tu, dia call. Sia terlambat angkat sebab phone tu di bilik dan sia di dapur. You guys know apa dia cakap?

“Ui lambat juga kau angkat. Mesti kau baru ehem2 sama boyf kau ni kan? Alaaa…sorry laaa sia kacau. Apa macam, siok ka tadi?”

Terus sia terkejut ba dengar dia cakap gitu. Itu benda memang betul2 tidak boleh diterima sudah oleh telinga sia tu masa. Mungkin dia marah sebab sia lambat angkat, but again, sepa dia untuk complain kalau sia lambat angkat? Dia bukan boyf sia pun ba. Cukup bagus sudah kalau sia mau sambut call dia kan? Terus tu, sibuk2 dia cakap macam2. Sia tidak dengar sudah apa dia cakap. Sia macam mau meletup sudah masa tu. Hahahaahha. Then sia cakap… “Alaa sorry, sia kena off phone sekarang. Sia kena rush buat something ni.” Haaa… sia off ja phone sia, itu la kali terakhir dia dengar suara sia. Dia masih insist mau ring number sia walaupun sudah ketara sia tidak mau angkat call dia. Sia tidak tahan sudah sampailah sia tukar nombor!! Semua gara2 dia ni!

Sia jadi phobia, geli dan betul2 sakit jiwa. Suara dia tu ja pun cukup untuk buat sia punya buah pinggang ni terjejas ba. *Lols. So bila sia terpikir-pikir, actually sia baru ja kena Sexual Harrassment oleh lelaki ni!!!! Yaa, biarpun daripada phone saja. Actually experience tu buat sia paham apa yang dirasai oleh mangsa2 sexual harassment di luar sana. Dan daripada forum2 yang sia tengok, Sexual Harassment is defined by YOU. Hanya kau yg tau sama ada kelakuan tu adalah sexual harassment atau tidak. Kalau officemate kau kenyit2 mata sama kau ja pun boleh jadi satu sexual harassment juga! Asalkan dia buat kau rasa tidak selesa dan tidak selamat sebab kau dapat rasa dia ada simpan keinginan dan niat sexual terhadap kau. Yes, as simple as winking at the person dan lemparkan pandangan yg sangat bernafsu dengan dia! Ouch!! Hahahaaha.

Apa lagi kalau sudah, “Wow..nice outfit today. Your breast looks so big la in that blouse.. You turn me on.” Haaa…mungkin kau rasa benda tu joke, dan yang mendengar tu pun patut anggap benda tu joke, but kalau kau silap orang, orang tu boleh anggap kau baru ja sexually harassing her. Like what I said just now, ini adalah terpulang kepada penilaian si mangsa, tidak kisah la apa niat si pemangsa. Mungkin kalau mangsa kamu tu pun mau2 kena buat mcm tu, of course la dia tidak anggap benda tu sebagai harassment. Biar la kau kiss la, kau grind la, kau grab ka, as long as the person feels that acts are acceptable for her, maybe that’s not labeled as sexual harassment. Get that, guys?

Dan jan kamurang silap, mangsa nya bukan perempuan ja, tapi lelaki juga!! Hahaahahahaha. Ini zaman mana kira lagi. Perempuan ni ada yang terover daring. Memang berniat mau goda boss. Sengaja pakai seksi2, low cut supaya nampak tu cleavage dia, and then sengaja2 mau tunduk2 supaya nampak. *Lols. Lepas tu, sepa la tau kan, itu secretary gigit2 lips dia masa tu boss sibuk kasi terang something, and then benda tu looked so gross and indecent bagi tu boss. Nah!! Silap esok lupa kana pecat- Reason? Sexual harassment!! “Jangan kau mau goda2 sia la!! Setakat perempuan mcm kau, paling2 pun kau kikis duit ja mau sampai mau pok boss sendiri.” Adoiiiii.

Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahhaaha. Macam2 ada di dunia ni. But untuk lari daripada tuduhan ini, kena jaga tingkah laku. Jangan sampai disalah-paham. Kalau mau noty2, biar bertempat. Nda pasal2 kau kana label sebagai Sex Maniac satu ofis, sedangkan kau senyum2 sana pikir diri kau tu pekerja paling cemerlang. *Lols.

Uiks…silap2 kita nda sedar pun kan kita ni PERNAH sexually harassing someone dalam life kita secara tidak sengaja kan? Sepa tauu tu lelaki di pos office tu terganggu dengan senyuman sia kan? Mungkin dia pikir sia punya senyuman tu ada makna ka apa ka, nah, sepa tau kan? Alamakkkkk… abislahhh *Lols. (Kidding guys!)

Bahhh, jaga2 setiap langkah kamu tu! Hamsap tu hamsap jugaa…biar bertempat ahhh… (/me berabis ketawa sana pisuk2)

Muahsss all.

Kita Sama-sama Tidak Tahu

Tiada siapa tahu apa akan berlaku di masa depan. Jangankan cakap tahun depan, 1 jam yang akan datang pun kita tidak tau. Apa2 saja boleh berlaku. Banyak perkara2 yang sudah berlaku sekarang merupakan perkara mustahil suatu masa dulu.

Ketidakpastian ini – apa yang boleh ia beri kepada kita? Adakah ketidakpastian ini memberikan kita satu bentuk insecurity yang usaha2 kita pada hari ini mungkin tidak akan memberikan pulangan yang setimpal? Adakah ketidakpastian ini menakutkan kita bahawa kita boleh hilang semua yang kita ada pada bila2 masa tanpa mengambilkira how much far we have walked and how much temptations we have overcome?

Trying to twist this around, I rather see the “uncertainties” as a light of HOPE. Iaitu sebarang benda yang tidak baik pada life sia sekarang ni, mungkin akan bertukar menjadi baik dalam jangka masa yang singkat. Siapa tau kan? That’s why kalau kita guna perkara ni dengan cara yang betul, kita akan sentiasa melihat sinar yang lebih terang akan terjadi the next moment, it could be soon or later, who knows. But teda sepa boleh cakap for sure yg masa depan itu adalah DISASTER kepada mana2 orang – sebab, kau tidak tau, sia tidak tau, kita sama2 tidak tau.

Yes, 256 is talking in riddles again.

It’s just so intriguing thinking about what the future could bring. It’s even funny to quit hoping when the fact is NOBODY knows what the future holds. You gotta have to cling on the good things and do everything you can to make tomorrow a better one. BUT STILL, no one knows for sure until it unfolds.

Benda ni benar untuk semua aspek dalam life kita. Kita ada kemahuan. Kita ada harapan. Kita ada kekangan.Bila kita ada masalah, mungkin ini lah sinar harapan kita. Benda ni semua berlaku ikut hokum hakam saja, tapi yang merumitkan keadaan adalah… Yes, diri kita sendiri. Suddenly diri terasa tidak mampu. Suddenly terasa diri begitu bodoh. Suddenly semangat itu hilang. The greatest enemies to your own success is YOURSELF.

Sia pernah cakap dengan diri sia suatu masa dulu. I imagine God talked to me like this.

“256, I’m going to give you everything you need. It’s all ready just for you to make use of them, to profit from them – in the journey to make your dreams a reality. I’m going to give it all for you. Now you think it’s gonna be easy?”

Then I imagined saying back,

“How can it NOT be easy when everything is there for me? How can I lack in anything else when You already prepare everything for my needs?”

Then I imagined the Lord says this,

“Even if I have prepared for you all your needs, in return, I will give you the simplest form of obstacle. It’s the SIMPLEST that you won’t even see it.”

I answered,

“I don’t understand. I don’t think there could be anything that can come between me and my dreams if everything is ready for me.”

The Lord said,

“I will show you something. I want to see how you handle it. Everything will be ready for you, but I will let everything else take its toll. This biggest obstacle that I’m talking about is YOURSELF. When you are that close to reaching your dream, I’ll show you how YOURSELF is actually the only thing that comes between you and your dream.”

I said, “Trust me, I won’t think I will let myself be the only obstacle. It’s so simple, my Lord. I can just simply ask Myself to obey and be positive. How hard can it be, right?”

The Lord said, “Remember what you say today. Start your mission now and show Me that you are worthy of all this blessing.”

Then, kalau laa sia ada conversation macam tu dengan God satu masa dulu, sekarang ni adalah moments yg sia rasa betul yang diri sia ni adalah cubaan terbesar yang paling susah sia mau tepis. Sebab bila one side of me tau sia boleh buat, but one side lagi mempersendakan sia – macamana sia mau tepis? They are both coming from my brain. Bila orang cakap sia bagus, sia sendiri pula sibuk kasi ketawa diri sia sendiri – Ohhoooo 256, kau la paling teruk punya manusia. You make the wrong decisions all the time. And macam2 lagi bla bla bla. Pikiran macam ni saja pun sudah cukup untuk kasi hancur diri sendiri. Betul ka tidak? Try apply dalam life kamu. Bila kamu rasa things are so bad, maybe it’s not so. Maybe it’s just you yang cuba untuk destroy semangat kau sendiri. Aiks, logic ka macam tu? If you ask me, Absolutely YES. Sebab, The Lord said the same thing to me. Tapi tu masa sia tidak paham. Sekarang sia nampak dengan mata kepala sia sendiri!!!

Tiba2 sia rasa sangat sangat relief bahawa esok itu Tiada Siapa yang Tahu. Maybe things are going to unfold nicely for me. So obstacle dalam kepala sia ni pun tidak akan tau apa akan jadi. Dia tidak boleh bagi verdict pada sia yang sia memang sudah buat satu keputusan yg salah. Dia tidak tau. Kamu Tidak Tau. Saya Tidak Tau. Kita sama2 tidak tau.

Tengok date hari ni. 2 September 2009. Nanti 2 September 2010 kamu tengok balik sekeliling kamu. Adakah benda2 masih sama? Adakah masa tu kamu masih memiliki benda yang kau ada pada hari ini, atau pun adakah kamu sekarang memiliki benda yang kamu tidak pernah mimpi untuk dapat? So, ada baik juga kita sayang betul2 apa yang kita ada sekarang ni. Belum tentu semua ni masih ada pada kita bila kita reach tarikh yang sama tahun depan. Jangan cakap tahun depan. Bulan depan pun belum tentu.

Macam juga blog sia ni. Sekarang ni kamu nampak sia blogging hampir hari2. Ada2 saja celoteh sia. Kamu pun mengeluh, ada2 saja si 256 ni. Asyik membebel saja keja dia di blog. *Lols. Or kamu nampak sia di IRC parking nick. Ishhh asyik2 si BRB ni juga keluar masuk channel. Kamu rasa kepenatan tinguk sia. *Lols. But then, sepa tau berapa lama lagi sia akan blogging. Esok lusa mungkin sia akan stop blogging – manatau sia sudah hilang minat. Atau sia punya perhatian sudah berpindah ke tempat lain. Kamu tidak akan nampak sia membebel lagi. Sedangkan address ini pun mungkin sia akan delete dan www.twofivesix256.blogspot.com ni hilang sama sekali daripada rekod. Jadi tu masa baru kamu rasa yang “Bagusnya dulu masa dia masih lagi aktif. Hari2 pun ada saja.” Masa tu kamu rasa sedih pula. Kalau la dari dulu lagi kamu appreciate celoteh2 sia ni, mungkin kamu tidak juga rasa begitu sedih.

(/me berabis ketawa. Hahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Teasing you guys!!! *Lols)

But seriously, pasal tu la kita mesti betul2 aprpeciate apa kita ada pada hari ni.

Tiada siapa yang tau apa akan berlaku di masa depan. Kau tidak tau. Mereka tidak tau. Sia pun tidak tau. Pokoknya, kita sama2 tidak tau. :)

The Triangle

Hari Merdeka baru2 tu, actually sempat lagi sia buat satu little kaunselling session with a guyfriend. He came and jumpa me kejap and we talked a bit and the end of the conversation when he was about to leave, dia sempat tanya sia. “I want to ask your opinion.” Here is his situation. 

This guy is IN LOVE with 2 girls AT ONCE. Yes, you heard me right. Ceritanya macam ni. Dia ni memang ada steady girlfriend yang he planned to get engaged with in months time. But dalam beberapa bulan menuju ke hari pertunangan tu, dia terjumpa sorang perempuan lain dan terus minat dengan perempuan tu. Dia tidak sangka perempuan tu pun sudah bertunang. Dalam diam2, dia jalinkan persahabatan dengan perempuan baru tu di belakang girlfriend dia. Sepa sangka hati dia betul2 terpikat sama perempuan baru tu. Tapi memandangkan perempuan tu adalah tunangan orang, jadi dia “balas dendam”. Dia teruskan juga pertunangan dia dengan girlfriend dia tu. Jadi, dia officially sudah jadi tunang orang, yang masih berhubungan dengan seorang perempuan lain yg juga sudah bertunang. Situasi ni awal2 macam main api kecil saja, tapi sekarang sudah jadi besar. Dia rasa tidak adil kalau perempuan tu saja bertunang, that’s why dia carry on wiyh the engagement walaupun hati dia sudah berbelah bagi. Sekarang ni, dia kadang2 menyesal juga sebab dia bertunang. Kalau dia masih single, maybe situasi tidak serumit itu. Sebab perempuan baru tu pun sudah jatuh cinta dengan dia dan sanggup tinggalkan tunang dia. Tapi lelaki ni pula terikat dengan tunang dia. Tidakkan baru ja tunang terus dia mau buat hal. Dia tanya pendapat sia, “Apa yang perlu dia buat?”

Sia simplify my opinion macam ni. 

“Teruskan saja apa yang ada di genggaman kau. Jangan pula mengejar benda yang tidak pasti, sedangkan yg dalam kocek tu berjatuhan. Ikut jalan lurus saja ba. Apa boleh buat, sudah terlanjur kau jalin ikatan sama girlfriend kau. It’s more about responsibility now. Banyak hati mau dijaga. You must be a man. About your feeling towards the other lady, think about it in the long run. Hari ni hati kau berkobar-kobar cinta sama dia, but is it worth it untuk lepaskan apa yang kau ada hanya untuk kejar dia? How sure are you that you are not gonna regret this decision? Are you sure you gonna love her the same next year? I mean, anything about this new girl is something UNSURE. Kalau kau teruskan dengan tunang kau, kalaupun kamu gaduh ka, apa kah – at least orang keliling kamu akan support kamu because hubungan kamu tu direstui. Mau tidak mau kamu akan stick with each other sebab you guys have come a long way. But kalau dengan the new girl, kalau apa2 silap, mesti kamu banyak benda mau ungkit dan regret. Masing2 akan ungkit pasal kesilapan tinggalkan tunang masing2, dan berapa banyak hati yg kamu hurt – Ini akan jadi poison dalam jiwa kamu. Bottomline – appreciate apa yang kau ada. If it feels hurt inside, FACE IT. Kena sacrifice sikit. Mencintai tidak semestinya memiliki kan?” 

Terus dia angguk2 kepala and said, “Ya betul juga cakap kau tu.” Sia rasa apa yang sia cakap tu bukan benda yang baru. Cuma I hope sia ada mention a few things yang betul2 bagi dia inspiration. Actually, kalau sia berada di tempat dia, sia sendiri pun unsure apa mau buat. Mesti pedih kan? But the question is, Will I ever end up like him? Sebab benda tu bukan mudah untuk terjadi. Kalau awal2 lagi sudah you refrain yourself from taking the third person into the picture, masalah ni tidak akan merebak macam tu. Actually, ini satu cubaan hidup. Kita pun sometimes buat benda ni, iaitu kita “bagi muka” dengan kemahuan kita yang bukan2. Kalau ada 10 perempuan lawa mau sama kau, semua pun kau mau. “Alaa, main2 ja ba…enjoy2 saja. Bukan betul2.” Nahh, sedar nda sedar, hati kau tu rasa macam kena hiris2 pakai pisau bila terpaksa buat keputusan. Actually, lelaki tu terpikir mau kawin dua2 perempuan tu, sebab dia tidak boleh pilih. Ya, itu kalau mau pikir nafsu dia la kan? True or not? Ada dia pikir kah yg perempuan tu ada keluarga dan impian juga? 

You guys know ka apa sia cakap dengan lelaki tu. 

“Lelaki memang tidak mau rugi ba kan?” Terus sia ketawa. 

Terus dia backup. “Tidak, bukan macam tu. Ini soal hati sudah terpaut ba ni.” 

Dalam hati sia cakap (Yeahh right…) *Lols 

Ehmmm…ada2 saja perangai manusia ni. The last thing you want in a Love Triangle is, to be the one who lose everything. So that’s why sia suggest dia teruskan dengan apa yg sudah confirm dia punya. You can’t have it all. Then, maybe you should look at what you already have in your hands. Cos it could be the only thing that is meant to be for you. :)

Comel Pasal Sayang Atau Sayang Pasal Comel?

Sia pernah mention pasal my little brother yang sia sayang betul tu kan. Sia cakap adik sia ni comel betul masa dia kecil. Come to think about it, adakah sia sayang dia sebab dia comel, atau pun sia rasa dia comel sebab sia sayang dia? Nahhh…Kamu pernah terpikir ka hal ni?

Kamu tinguk gfriend/bfriend kamu, or laki atau bini kamu – of course kamu sayang dia. Mungkin dia kiut atau macho di mata kamu. But adakah kamu nampak dia macam tu kerana kamu memang sayang dia, atau kiut atau macho tu yg menyebabkan kamu sayang dia?

Hehehehehe, funny kan guys?

Adakah perasaan sayang kita terhadap seseorang tu menjadikan semua benda tu menarik di mata kita? Atau pun memang orang tu memiliki tarikan tersebut, yg actually menjadi sebab kamu sayang sama dia?

Benda ni mungkin timbul bila orang yg kamu sayang ni puji2 kamu. Then kamu tanya, adakah pujian tu memang layak kamu dapat ataupun dia saja2 puji kamu macam tu sebab dia sudah sayang dengan kamu. Tau la manusia ni, ada2 saja. Mauu juga tau ba benda2 macam tu. If you ask me, sia memang jenis yang ingin tau walaupun benda2 tu remeh. I wonder kalau la orang tu tidak sayang sia, adakah dia masih akan rasa yang sia memang bagus dalam hal2 yg dia puji tu?

Actually, benda ni bukan satu perkara yang besar. Cuma kalau mau dipikir-pikir, perasaan sayang kita tu actually ada magic yang tersendiri. Biasanya kita akan cakap yang - gara2 kita sayang dengan seseorang, semua benda jadi baik saja. But sia rasa itu tidak betul. Sia rasa kita tetap nampak keburukan dan kesilapan orang yg disayang tu, cuma bezanya kita akan cuba untuk memahami dan memaafkan dan menerima dia seadanya. Itu saja bezanya. Yang mereng itu tidak jadi lurus, yang biut itu tidak jadi kiut – I mean, kita akan tetap menilai macam biasa, cuma perasaan sayang tu membuatkan kita nampak LEBIH dari setakat apa yang mata kita boleh nampak. Kita tengok dan nilai dia guna mata hati kita ba. Betul ka that? Nice kan guys… hehehehehe.

Kamu mau tau apa dalam hati sia? Hati kecil sia berkata, sia harap bila orang yang sayang dengan sia say something good about me, sia harap yang dia memang maksudkan benda tu. Contoh paling dekat, sia pakai blog sia ni la ah. Macam big bro sia selalu visit blog sia ni – sia selalu tertanya-tanya kalau la sia ni bukan little sister dia, dia akan still visit blog sia ka? Sebab when a stranger yg sia nda kenal macam si Ezra, cakap yg he found my blog by chance and then he likes me writings, then I have a reason to feel good. Ada ex sia sorang tu kan, he suka betul baca tulisan sia even masa blog sia yg dulu tu. Memandangkan dia sudah jadi ex sia, sia anggap dia bukan orang yang “berkepentingan” then dia teda reason untuk impress sia ba. But dia selalu puji2 hasil tulisan sia di blog tu, sampaikan dia cakap yg sia boleh beat itu Oprah Winfrey. *Lols. Bila sia pikir2, dia ni teda reason untuk jack2 sia ba, then maybe he could mean it for real kan? Then sia tanya la dia…”If kau tidak pernah kenal sia, adakah kau akan still baca blog sia?” Dia cakap, “Yes, sebab kau memang seorang penulis yg baik.” Nahhhhhhhhhh!!!! Abis laaaa…

(Hahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahaha. Kidding ba guys… *Lols)

Just entertaining the little thought ba. Apa pun, penilaian kita terhadap sesama manusia tu memang subjective. Then kenapa perlu terlalu kisah kan? There’s no way to know for sure. Sebab orang pun tidak akan take the effort untuk let you know apa yg dorang rasa. Kalau dorang sayang kau, dorang mau kau happy, so dorang akan cakap benda2 yang best, walaupun hati dorang tidak begitu maksudkannya. But, does it matter? Yang penting hati kau happy, so kau pun rasa dihargai. Then hubungan kamu pun bertambah baik. Itu yg lebih penting kan? Yes, itu yg lebih penting :)