“A Friend Who Stole Another Friend’s Friend”

I remember this situation back in secondary school. For an elite school, I was considered “a plain kid” cos I didn’t have much to offer to get popularity. I saw the famous kids even had their own group. Whether they were top achievers or just daughters of somebody rich or influential. But to recall this incident back, I wasn’t sure if any of these kids had an experience like mine. Read on.

I remember when I was 14, I used to have a close friend that lasted for certain seasons. Close friend I define as someone you are seen together with most of the time. Going everywhere together; to the class, to the dining hall…almost inseparable. During schooldays, I had a few of them who I called this friend. Everyone in the school did too. It’s a normal thing when one close friend only lasted for a while. The person in that close friend’s place kept changing for many reasons. One of them could be chemistry – or just time and commitment. You usually give that place to someone who can offer you the most as a friend.

So I remember having this one girl as my close friend. I remember she was a very smart student and I was just average. She was very helpful and I thought she adapted to my attitudes very well. Being in the same class, it was so easy for us because our schedule was the same. After a while, another of our friend started to get close to me too. Maybe because that friend found out I was very chatty and a good listener, she easily got glued to me and she started to follow me around and she seemed to spend more time with me rather than the first friend. I didn’t really feel things were changing because I thought I was going with the flow. I thought if things were to change, everybody sort of understood cos that’s how it normally worked. Only a few stay with a close friend for a very long time. Everyone was always finding someone better at the time to share their interest and spent time doing things together.

I remember one evening… I was sitting at a bench with the new friend. The old friend passed us by and she sat there for a while but she kept quiet while the new friend and I kept chatting and giggling. I remember the old friend stared at me. I didn’t know what she was thinking. But one thing for sure, I remember that I didn’t see any gap. For me, all of us were friends. It just happened that I was sitting and chatting with the new friend, cos to me the next time, I could be doing the same with the old friend. I didn’t give this thing much thought. The new friend had to leave for a while and what left was me and the old friend. She said this to me…

“I see that you’re not happy with her.”

I said, “Why did say that?”

She answered, “I could see it from your smile. Like you were just entertaining to her and pretending to enjoy her company.”

Then I said, “Really? No la….”

At a situation latter than that, the new friend said to me. She told me the old friend said something to her when they bumped into each other while I was not around. She said, “You stole 256 from me. If it weren’t for you, we could still be so close like before.” I was so shocked to hear that. I almost thought she was kidding. I never thought that 2 friends would argue over me. I mean, I was just that plain little girl who was lazy and not so active in sports and I was a back-bencher who didn’t like attention and most of the famous kids there never got to even hear my voice because I was quite silent when I mixed with larger crowd. But who would have guessed that the very few people who got to be close to me, actually fought for my attention and friendship. Although I did not like the heat that was going on between them, but deep inside I felt so appreciated. At least I remember I might not be rich and famous, but I was a worthy friend that one would not want to lose.

This didn’t happen once. It happened again between other friends – always leaving me clueless, What have I done? Why I still feel so innocent? Was I heartless to not know that I have hurt a friend just by making friends with another friend?

Thinking about that old memory, I remember feeling almost the same way again for quite a few times in my life as a grown up. Actually, maybe I had the idea right. Nobody steals anybody for somebody. Why create the issues revolving “Who steals Who? Who should be with whom?… Why?? I think since I was a kid, I already know the answer. Why should we pick one from two friends when the three of us can sit together happily and talk about all the nice things and laugh and giggle together?

So I decided… I was never heartless towards my friends. What I know is Friendship is to be shared. Nobody makes a new friend just to make the old friend feels abandoned. No, it’s not right. I make a new friend, so now we have another in this circle. You make new friend, and that’s another one to the circle. The more the merrier. Nobody steals anybody. We all deserve to be here. We all deserve to share with bond called Friendship. Together we make this big circle. Go make this circle work guys... :)