"The Toxic Lady"

Guys...It’s just a title. It can be ANYBODY among your group of friends. As dangerous as it is, this person that is qualified to be called a toxic person can poison you. Jangan dulu banyak cakap, you guys read on.

Scenario 1:

Boyfriend kau kasi hadiah kau gifts untuk Valentine’s and one of the gifts is a diamond ring, which was meant for anniversary yang jatuh pada bulan Februari juga. Then most of your friends know about you getting the ring. But dalam banyak2 kawan, tiba2 ada sorang yg cakap macam ni

She: “So apa dia kasi kau untuk Anniversary kamu nanti?” You: “Sudah dia kasi sama2 tu diamond ring kan hari tu. ” She: “Ha? So itu laa juga kunun hadiah anniversary kau?” You: “Ya, the ring mimang for anniversary. Gila ka kau kasi lagi lain.”

Then she buat muka...."Ohh poorr youuu...”

(And this come from the person who never even receives a ring from any of her boyfriends, even only yang diperbuat dari rumput. Look at how she made it sound like “a diamond ring” tu mcm barang yang kana tandang2 ja di tepi jalan)

Scenario 2:

Your birthday is around the corner. So your boyfriend asked you, what do you want for birthday this year. Kau ni pun kebetulan lama sudah jeles tinguk kawan2 kau yg pakai PDA ba. Mana mampu beli. Masa tu harga sudah lebih RM2k. “I want a PDA”. Then dalam 2 minggu lagi bday kau, your boyfriend sudah awal2 kasi beli this HP punya PDA. Sayang punya pasal la tu. So semua your closefriends know that your beloved sudah kasi beli kau a PDA yang kau impikan. And then semua kawan2 kau rasa kagum la sebab bukan murah ba tu barang. But then, ada sorang di antara dorang yang cakap macam ni....

She: “What’s for your birthday nanti?” You: “Itu PDA la ba tu. Kan itu yg sia minta.” She: “Ohh, itu la juga hadiah bday kau. Sia pikir ada lagi lain yg dia akan kasi masa birthday.”

Then you could read her mind telling...ooohh...rupanya inda la sehebat mana jua ba kasi sayang boyfriend kau tu dengan kau. Kotoh!

(And this come from a person who spent hundreds of ringgit buying gifts to a guy just so she could get something expensive like perfume Tommy Hilfiger to show off to her friends, unfortunately the most she could get back “after such an investment” was a clock decoration worth RM60.) RM60 bukan murah juga tapi untuk org yang memberi kerana meminta balasan mimang rasa benda tu tiada nilai.

Scenario 3:

You bought a walkman yang kau impi-impikan. Finally dapat beli juga apa yg kau pok mau beli selama berbulan-bulan. Then datang ni saturang kawan masuk bilik kau, and check what’s on your table and saw the walkman....dia belek2 tu walkman.

“Wah, you bought a new walkman kan." Then she looked at the brand. It was Sony, her favourite brand for electrical goods. The last time we recalled, she was the only one who could afford buying Sony cdplayer, kawan2 lain pun paling2 mampu beli jenama Pensonic saja. Then when she finally saw “Sony” punya brand dibeli oleh kawan2 lain, “You must use duit loan untuk beli ni walkman kan?”

Scenario 4:

Kau ni beli beberapa helai t-shirt as gifts untuk adik2 kau. Semua tu t-shirt adalah jenis yang sama, iaitu brand yang tidak famous punya. But the tshirt looks nice semua. So masa sibuk2 kawan2 yang lain tinguk2 tu t-shirt, one of them tersedar yang tu tshirt semua brand yang sama. So she asked la, “Wah, baru sia sedar semua brand yang sama pula ni.” Tiba2 ada suara datang dari satu penjuru. “Kamu mau tau kenapa? Sebab itu t-shirt MURAH ba, pasal tu la dia beli semua itu ja.” And orang yang bercakap tu, adalah roomate kau sendiri.

(Dia cakap kalau adik2 dia, hanya akan tinguk t-shirt Quiksilver, Nike – or paling2 cikai pun Maui And Sons punya brand. Dengan nada yang penuh makna, “Untunglah adik2 kamu mau pakai yg murah2.”)

Scenario 5:

If she saw anybody wearing any branded clothes, especially jeans – even only Steeple Jack, she would make people see how she tahan ketawa as a sign that, “That must be imitation. People like you can’t afford originals.”

(Beli imitation atau original, dua2 bukan pakai duit dia pun, dan bukan dia yang pakai. So why dia sakit hati betul tinguk pakaian yang dipakai oleh orang lain. Geleng kepala kamirang trus, geng!)

Scenario 6:

“What is starch ?” Before dia kasitau, dia make sure itu orang akan nampak mcmana dia buat muka yang menahan kelucuan dengan cara yang mengejek dan merendahkan orang. “Itu pun kau nda tau ka?” Dia buli tapuk tu reaksi merendah-rendahkan orang, tapi dia tidak mau. RUGI nanti kalau orang nda nampak. Jangan sampai orang tidak tau lagi yang dia lah Englishman dalam tu rumah.

(Mau dianggap paling Englishman di kalangan kawan2 tapi bila why suruh si 256 juga yang draft any English formal letter. Kalau terrer sangat buat sendiri ba kan. *Lols)

Scenario 7:

The phone rang and she picked up. It was a guy yang dia minat, mau bercakap dengan orang lain dalam rumah tu. What she did? She tidak bagitau pun sama org yang dicari tu. Instead, she buka cerita pula sama tu orang, dan begurau senda selama yang mungkin, up to half and hour, without telling the person whom the call was really for. This is only to name one of her maneuevers to try and win the fans of her own friends. Jangankan peminat, even boyfriend kawan dia pun dia tidak segan2 mau tackle. Apa lagi kalau boyfriend kau tu goodlooking and berduit. After many years tidak bercontact, the first question that she asked me was “Sepa sudah kau punya hensem boy sekarang ni?” ...My friends, are you sure that people change that easily? Maybe anybody, but her.

7 scenarios enough for you guys to tell that, Yes, She’s the toxic friend to you. Words yang keluar dari mulut dia semua benda2 yang mendatangkan conflict, making u feel bad and orang yang sangat mengamalkan double standard – iaitu, sia kaya, kau miskin, kita mungkin satu rumah, tapi you can never become like me. Whoaaa...try and have someone like this as your housemate! Cincai la taruh beberapa bulan, tidak payah sampai satu tahun, tinguk u guys tahan ka tidak!!

Semua scenario di atas tu di alami oleh kawan2 serumah kami masa tu. Yes, it happened years ago, masa masih belajar. Bukan sia mau ungkit2 or kasi besar2 cerita lama, but ini satu pengajaran untuk kita semua. Sebab orang mcm ni kau buli jumpa di mana-mana. Mungkin scenarionya tidak sama, tapi effect yang dia kasi sama diri kau tu lebih kurang saja. Bila dia ada, kau rasa tertekan sebab kau tau ada mata yang sedang mengadili kau. Semua tidak kena, semua tidak betul – semua yang baik adalah “Me! Me! Me!”. If you complain why she duduk like terkangkang and so tidak senonoh bila jumpa dengan this certain guy di depan2 mata kami, she said, “You people are NARROW- MINDED!”

Tapi to be fair, I would say yang teda manusia yang buruk semua ba. Mimang orang mcm ni, ada kebaikannya juga. Since I have met someone like this before, trust me I have tried my best untuk cari her good points, sebab berkali-kali sia TIDAK PERCAYA yang ada manusia seteruk itu. “Nahhh, she can’t be that bad.” Tapi trust me, I FAILED. Sia tidak dapat tipu diri sia sebab dia punya bad points tu terlalu banyak dan semuanya memberikan kesan sama hati, jantung, buah pinggang dan pankreas kamirang. (*Lols).

So apa yang sia buat sebagai “benteng pertahanan”? Masa study tu mungkin sia teda byk choice. Sebab pusing sana pusing sini, muka dia juga sia nampak. So lepas habis study, I practise sia punya power of defence. Kebetulan kami semua terpisah dan ikut jalan masing2, so mimang selamat dari dia untuk tempoh yg panjang. I told my friends not to tell her my phone number. My geng karas semua paham and for years, they managed to keep my number from her. So finally last year, I had to bump into her in a wedding event so she asked my phone number sendiri. Masa tu, I had no choice but to give her my number, but I said this, “Don’t ever call me. If you have anything to say, just sms.” Yeah rude. But with that statement, sia kasi tau terang-terangan sia punya “stand” towards being in contact with her – at least I only have to be rude ONCE, and that’s it. My other friends couldn’t say the damn line like that, sebab dorang tidak sampai hati. As a result, dorang sentiasa kana kejar oleh dia, dan terus kana “mentally abused” oleh dia sebab dia punya gaya yang TIDAK PANDAI BERUBAH. Now she has a good career, still having big problems with her attitudes. As a result, kawan2 sia yang lain TERPAKSA layan dia bila she calls them and talks craps.

You cannot come to me now, engage me in a telephone conversation sampai 3 jam, listening to you mengutuk the latest man that you date, hadiah2 yang kau bagi dorang dan how much itu lelaki tidak menghargai so on and so forth. And bertambah hancur la nilai masa sia bila semua cerita tu adalah berkenaan dengan seorang “laki orang” ke seorang “laki orang” yang lain. Lain lagi mengumpat pasal perempuan2 lain yg...”bida”, “tidak cantik”, “gete”, “sundal” haaaa....tu la semua yang diceritanya. Semua perempuan serba tidak kena saja di mata dia. And antara line yang sia paling ingat she often speaks of herself, “When people look at me, they know I’m a high class punya perempuan, kalau lelaki yg teda duit mimang tidak berani approach sia.” (Oh, really?)

Cerita2 macam tu, sia buli layan la kalau masih study dulu. Mimang ini cerita2 la yang selalu keluar. Tapi kau tidak buli terus meningkat dewasa dan masih bercakap pasal benda2 yang sama ba, sedangkan sekarang u sudah pakai kereta mahal2, ada rumah sendiri – tapi kenapa mentaliti tu tidak berubah langsung? It was THE SAME THINGS yang she talked about when we were still in U ba. Grow up!!!

Satu perkara yang I want to make you guys see is HOW a friend can poison u ba. It takes a great courage untuk put a damn wall untuk protect yourself daripada influence mcm ni. Orang yg toxic mcm ni, datang dalam mcm2 bentuk dan rupa ba. Tapi adakah u guys berani untuk “beat them”? I tell you guys one thing ah...orang mcm gini, kalau parents dia tidak buli ubah dia, jangan harap pula u guys yang boleh ubah dia. So my approach is very logic.

If I can’t be her friend, she doesn’t have to be my enemy. Daripada sia makan hati melayan perangai dia, bagus sia jauhkan diri dan guna dasar berkecuali. Bukan saja pikir2 negative ni akan makan diri sia sendiri, tapi dosa sia pun bertambah juga, betul ka tidak? Pernah dengar ka orang cakap, kalau kau mau jadi orang yg baik, pilihlah kawan yang baik. Dulu masa sia masih kecil, mana sia pecaya tu benda semua. Bagi sia, it’s okay to have kawan2 yang nakal2 sikit, yang thrill2 sikit, yg penting pendirian diri sendiri. Tapi last2, sia nampak sendiri mcmana benda tu sebenarnya betul juga. If kawan kau nakal2, kau pun boleh jadi nakal juga. Dulu kau inda tau moginum, tapi kawan sama yang moginum, then kau pun jadi mcm tu juga. So jaga2 dengan jenis2 kawan yg you guys mix up often.

Dalam kes ini, sia tau mungkin dia tersinggung sebab sia sudah buat satu cara yang terang-terangan sia tidak mau contact sama dia – tapi sia percaya dia tu tau pikir juga. Sia sudah tolerate sama perangai dia bertahun-tahun, it’s time for me to make decision of what to do. Bila sia tidak bercontact sama dia, sia punya perasaan kurang senang sama dia tu semakin hilang sebab tidak dituang minyak ba, u guys paham? So sia rasa apa yang sia buat tu untuk kebaikan dia juga. Dalam hal ni, sia sebenarnya cuba untuk menjernihkan atmosfera yang kabut! Apa yang tidak baik dalam jiwa tu, jangan dikasi jalan untuk membesar dan membara, nanti jadi penyakit!

So, sia harap, this is the last time yang sia akan mentions semua hal2 ni. Itu pun my intention is good. If you get something from this, Thank God.

Get Rid Of The Toxic People In Your Life... Are You Strong Enough To Do It?

If you don’t have the answer yet, make sure you don’t wait too long from here to get it. These people might be eating up your whole being by the time you found the answer to it.

Don’t Let The Toxic People Abuse You... Walk Away, Step Out Before They Poison You!

Yes, I'm Spilling More Beans!

But you gonna get only 7!!

I just want to add some thrill to your experience reading my blog.

1. None of my real life friends or family knows that I have this blog..

2. Even whoever you are to me and you still don’t know that I own and write this blog and you try to guess, most likely you still won’t guess it right because nobody in my life actually knows about “everyone” who are mentioned in the stories enough for anybody to come up with the conclusion that I am the writer of this blog. Like everyone knows just a little or something. If the statement is hard to understand, it’s okay, it’s meant to be confusing. *Lols

3. The character of “my guyfriend” that I mention throughout this blog refers to more than 7 different guyfriends, not less. Yes, they don’t refer to the same freaking guy. And the most popular guy mentioned in my blog is in the position to know when he’s the one that I write about, but I’m almost sure he doesn’t know because he doesn’t read blogs. *Lols

4. There’s one post that I can recall, about “a female friend” of mine. The fact is, the story is actually MY OWN experience Hahaha. Which one ah? You could not guess. I have posted almost 200 posts in 6 months. Can you guess which one? I don’t think so. Go use your time for something else.

5. Other than the people who know me from IRC, which means most of my blog followers, are the people I don’t know (yet). Please drop your generous comment and I’ll be glad to return you the favour. I feel so honoured that new people become my blog followers NOT to return me a favour of me following their blogs first. I seldom have enough time to browse around other people’s blog so I am so not a blogger who socialize that much. Thanks for coming to my blog yeah. I hope you guys can forgive me for not spending time enough to browse around. I’ll make up for it.

6. When I don’t have the time to write, I just pulled one of the articles in my older collection. This older collection is put in my first little unknown blog that I have abandoned since last year (I can never have enough time for everything, ok?). And the old blog is all about long essays and nothing else; not even a damn picture – and they are all in English. Yeah, I do have my own followers too. One of them is actually my ex. *Lols. Ya guys know what my ex told me? He would still be my follower even if he had never known me. Oh sweet! *giggles.

7. I would be lying if I tell you that I will still write this much without this blog. I doubt it because in general sense, people would do something if they have a reason to do it. And in my case, this blog is the proper way for me to channel and squeeze my overloaded brain from crazy ideas and philosophies and this blog help me to ease my mind because I got to share my thoughts and curiosity with the world – this is not just an ordinary obsession. This blog is where I pour the outcomes of my mind. Anything less than that, it would be silly of me to even come up with this blog.

Hope you enjoy it. I knewwww you guys lurveeee beans! *Lols. Have fun!

Monday? Not again...

Gotcha!

*giggles

Have A Nice Monday Everyone!

The Man Of Many Dreams

(NOTE: HAPPY EASTER 2009 TO ALL THE CATHOLICS!)

A friend of yours spent an hour talking about how much he dreamt to be a local leader so that he could help a lot of people. So that he could make up for the weaknesses that are done by the past and the current leaders that always fail to do their responsibility towards the people. And then imagine how proud can you be listening to his sincerity, especially because his dream is so unique and rare; considering that many people only dream for something that is dedicated to themselves, and not other people. Woww…isn't it great to know you have a friend who has a dream like that?

But something silly can simply spoil this good feeling. It's when the same person comes to you and start talking about "another dream", the same enthusiastic way; as if it were his first time talking about his "ultimate dream" to you. And then you realize that this "new dream" doesn't have anything to do with the "old dream". Both dreams take "a lifetime" to achieve each of them. The question is, WHICH ONE IS THE REAL ULTIMATE DREAM? If you're driving a car towards a destination, you come to a junction, even how greedy you can be, it isn't realistic to go to left and right AT THE SAME TIME! Isn't it time to decide WHICH ONE is the best junction to follow?

Of course, it's not BAD to have a lot of wonderful dreams. One dream takes time to build. Sometimes, it takes you years to have a certain dream you want to achieve. If you have TWO dreams, you double the years they take to build. People, do you want to spend MOST OF YOUR LIFE building dreams? Do you even have the time to start achieving "them"?

Of course, I'm being a little negative. But I look at this at one perspective. I can look at them at many different perspectives, but I want to concentrate on ONE, because this will work BETTER in reality. In reality, it's NOT easy to achieve a dream. You would fail, fall and cry many times before you achieve it. So, how you do budget your time to achieve a dream? Of course you would love you say, 2 years, or 5 years…but the reality is, the ultimate dream will take you "the rest of your life" to achieve it. It isn't easy.

Now you understand WHY I'm a bit upset when my friend talked to me about him having more than ONE big dream?

Of course, you can have one dream for every aspect of your life. You can dream to be THE BOSS of your company, and at the same time, you dream to be the BEST WIFE for your husband and the BEST MOTHER for your kids. This one is acceptable and most importantly, ACHIEVABLE.

No people, don't get me wrong. Do have many dreams if you want. Dream your way towards success. But please don't get TOO BUSY dreaming. Start achieving it instead. I have a friend before who ventured into one business and quit because she thought of another business, and then another. And then, before she ventured into a next business, she talked about how the old business didn't work. It was only MONTHS that she tried the old business. My question was, did MONTHS enuff to succeed in something challenging as business? And then, there she went again with another dream, that she wanted to pursue her Master, in the middle on trying out another business. I couldn't help but BE RUDE. I asked her, WHAT ACTUALLY DO YOU WANT TO DO?

I told her that she needs TO FOCUS. In this business of life, you can't quit that soon. I told her that SUCCESS is sometimes quite SHY and unpredictable. IF you want it, you need to be there LONG ENUFF, survive a lot of obstacles and then NEVER QUITS. Usually, success is only A MOMENT AWAY from the time you decide to quit. NO KIDDING. So, everytime you want to quit, you know HOW CLOSE you are to success.

Okay, maybe this is only my own theory. But it's a nice and sweet theory. If you use this, you will NOT quit no matter what. I have spent many many years of my life trying to sort out WHAT I WANT, so finally when I'm here doing what I like, I WILL NOT QUIT even if YOU KILL ME. *giggles. It's a pleasure of "having someone to kill me ONCE" for having ONE ultimate achievable dream, than to have someone kill me TWICE because of two unachievable dreams. Okay, I was joking. hehehehehe. I mean, if you have ONE BIG DREAM that you give yourself the option of "DO IT OR DIE", you will know what I'm saying. Cos THIS IS WHAT I'M DOING NOW.

You guys know what? Do you think I'm having fun making up all this? I don't even make up all this. This is my very own concept. I tell you, what's the point of being a sane human being if you don't have A CONCEPT of how do you live your life? And now we are talking about YOUR ULTIMATE DREAM. You must have a concept. Your concept might not be THE BEST concept, but at least you have one. THERE'S NO BEST OR BAD concept; cos bottomline is, you achieve your dream and maximize your life. If your concept can't help you to achieve your dream, it might not be called A CONCEPT to begin with. So people, if you want to have many dreams, it's up to you. But remember, you only have a lifetime. Don't be so greedy. Achieving ½ of all the dreams you have, is that enuff? That's almost like "not achieving anything" to me. I rather concentrate on one dream and make it my biggest glory that people would remember me for it. I'm not greedy towards the millions of dreams that I could pursue but I don't pursue just because I want to conquer one big dream.

1 DREAM, 1 LIFETIME – How hard it is to understand it? It's plain LOGIC. So, if you dare yourself to achieve so many dreams at once, and succeed, LET US KNOW HOW YOU DO IT. OK? *giggles. May God Bless Everyone.

"The Red BullY"

I take my time to write about something yg maybe selama ni jadi duri dalam daging sebilangan daripada kita. Sepa pernah kena buli sini? I tell ya guys one thing...BULLY is MORE SERIOUS than what you guys think!!

Bully comes in two forms. Bully secara fizikal atau bully secara mental. Mana yang lagi teruk? Sekali imbas adalah bully secara fizikal la ba kan. Bila you got punched, kicked and wounds all over your body, that might even leave some scars...so, is that bad enough? Bad News. It’s NOT that bad compared to physological bully. The reason is very simple. Wounds that you can see with bare eyes can heal with medicine, but what about the wounds inside you?

First, I might not use the right clinical words to describe the types of bully but as long as you guys can tell the difference pun enough sudah. Actually, I only heard about this topic ONCE saja then it’s enough for me. Everything else sia guna apa yang sia tengok dengan mata kepala sendiri la. The talk that I heard from the radio comes from the people who are professional in this area and they have made the proper studies.

Bully ni paling biasa berlaku masa sekolah la. Ada la this group of kids yang suka betul mengejek dan kasi ketawa kawan2 lain. Asal ada nama yang lucu sikit, mula la ejek2. Lepas tu, dikasi babit lagi nama bapa or nama keluarga. It happens during my time too ba. Tidak la buli nampak nama2 yang ada kampung2 sikit, sudah kana ejek. Dalam kes ni, sia terselamat la, but still juga dorang cari reason untuk ejek2, macam dorang rasa belum cukup samseng kalau ada yang selamat dari ejekan dorang. Ini perangai betul2 tidak baik. You kids tidak boleh guna itu alasan “Alaa, kami masih budak lagi ba, it’s okay to be childish” – damn, if you guys can tell yang itu perangai adalah childish, then practise your childishness in other areas – perangai mengejek nama ini TIDAK BAIK. I repeat, TIDAK BAIK dan harap kamu elakkan. Sia masih ingat ada sorang kawan sia ni masa sekolah rendah, nama bapa dia tu teda salah silapnya ba, cuma ganjil sikit saja, and then they kept calling her with nama bapa dia yang sudah diubahsuai. Benda tu sudah jadi mcm adat kepada ni tukang ejek dan dia mesti cakap kalau nampak tu kawan sia. So kalau kawan sia ni nda berani lawan balik, mesti pun dia rasa fobia bila tinguk tu tukang ejek. In other words, ini sudah kes buli ba ni. So mula sudah dia bataskan diri dia daripada mix dengan orang2 tertentu hanya kerana dia tidak mau kana buli2 mcm tu. Then satu hari tu, maybe dia nda buli tahan sudah, so dia nangis di classroom. Sampai cikgu pun tau. So bila cikgu tanya kenapa, dia bagitau la yang dia nda suka nama bapa dia kena ejek2 macam tu, sedangkan bapa dia sedang sakit tenat di hospital ba. Then masa dia cakap macam tu, sia masih ingat lagi sia pun sedih. Sia rasa marah betul dalam hati dengan budak2 jaat yang suka mengejek tu. Kenapa juga ba ada budak2 jahat yang mau buat mcm ni sama orang lain yg helpless? Ya, biarpun hanya ejek nama bapa saja. Buduh betul. Tidak bagus ba itu perangai. Ya, again, kamu akan cakap sama sia, alaa...masa tu budak2 lagi ba, bukan tau apa2. No excuse2!!! Wrong is wrong, ok??

Ada lagi satu jenis ejekan. Ejekan yang melibatkan maruah dan self-esteem orang lain ba. Apa keburukan kau, itu yang diejek. Macam kalau kulit hitam ka, atau muka berjerawat ka, atau gemuk ka, pindik ka, gigi terkeluar ka, mata juling ka --- semua ni akan dengan mudahnya dijadikan subjek untuk diejek ba. U guys tidak rasa KESIAN ka sama orang2 yg kamurang ejek tu? Kalau dulu u guys cakap, alaa, main2 saja ba tu. Now I’m writing this untuk bagitau kamu yang kamurang ejek2 tu bukan setakat stop di sana tau. Kamu nda tau macamana terlukanya hati orang yang kana ejek. Bila kamu ejek orang sebab dia punya kekurangan, mostly dia tidak buli buat apa2 juga. Bukan dia buli kasi bagus balik tu mata dia yang juling tu, atau kasi tinggi badan dia yang mimang pindik. Ataupun, budak2 perempuan yang suka2 ja kamurang panggil “si bida”. Nampak ja orang tu, then kamu ketawa. Imagine la apa macam budak2 yang kena buli ni mau datang sekolah. Macam juga kamu guna alasan yang kamu tu masih budak, then orang yang kamu ejek tu pun sama juga masih budak so mimang dia tidak akan tau macamana mau handle benda tu.

Dari apa yang sia dengar daripada the talk kan, bully macam ni akan meninggalkan luka yang berpanjangan ba. Self esteem itu budak akan betul2 jatuh dan susah untuk dia kasi pulih balik. Benda ni akan dibawa-bawa sampai dia dewasa. Dia jadi phobia dan anggap diri sendiri tidak baik. So apa akibatnya? Self-esteem yang rendah ni akan affect life dia tau. Padahal mulanya cuma hal2 ejek2 saja dari sekolah, tapi bila benda tu betul2 meninggalkan kesan pada diri dia, terus keseluruhan hidup dia akan terjejas. Dia rasa dia tidak diterima seadanya dengan kekurangan yang dia ada. Dan dia rasa semua org mengejek dia.”Alaa, sia ni bida. Sepa la mau sama sia ni.” Dan itu trauma kena buli sudah jadi satu “penyakit” mental – sebab bila dia dengar ada sekumpulan lelaki ketawa masa dia limpas, terus dia pikir dorang sedang kasi ketawa dia sebab dia bida. Terus hati dia rasa sedih dan sebak, dan bertambah hurt lagi la self-esteem dia. Padahal, bukan pun dia yang kena kasi ketawa. Then bila dia tinguk orang berbisik-bisik masa dia limpas, dia pikir yg dia yang kana cakap2. “Nah, mesti dorang cakap2 pasal sia la tu.” Nah, sampai bila benda ni mau berlarutan? Potensi sebenar dia terus malap sebab trauma kena bully dari zaman sekolah. So u guys jangan main2 hal mcm ni. Jangan kena batang hidung adik atau anak kamu sendiri baru kamu mau sedar. Kalau kamu tidak tau benda ni selama ni, NOW YOU KNOW! Ajar kamu punya budak2 sekolah di rumah tu supaya HORMAT sesama kawan dan jangan sekali pandang rendah sama budak2 lain yang banyak kekurangan.

Sia mengaku juga dulu, masa sia sekolah rendah, I think in Primary 2 la tu kali. Sia sama bapa sia duduk2 di bench sekolah. Masa tu ada tu budak perempuan ba, dia duduk sorang2 sana. Mimang ada something strange di mata sebelah dia. Maybe birth mark ba tu. Tidak juga lucu, but sia ketawa ba masa tu. Maybe sebab sia punya kehairanan tu diexpresskan dalam bentuk ketawa. So bila sia ketawa, tiba2 tu budak nangis. Sia betul2 rasa bersalah ba. Sia masih ingat lagi benda ni walaupun masa tu sia baru 8 tahun. Tapi since sia masih kecil masa tu, sia nda tau apa sia perlu buat. Sebab sia pun nda sure if dia menangis pasal sia ketawa ataupun apa. And then, all the years after that, itu budak study sebelah kelas sia ja. Sia TIDAK akan ketawa lagi depan budak tu. Sebab sia rasa mesti dia pikir org kasi ketawa birth mark dia tu, dan sia tau dia baik. Dia tidak deserve menangis hanya sebab budak2 lain tidak biasa tinguk tu birthmark dia tu. So sia tau juga macamana budak2 punya cara berpikir. Tapi kalau sia buli sedar yang sia sudah hurt hati orang lain masa sia sekecil itu, apa lagi budak2 zaman sekarang yang sudah semakin pintar dan advanced. Jangan kamurang ejek kawan2 kamu ahh. Kalau kamurang rasa ada tu budak bida betul, itu cuma mata kamu ja nampak gitu tu. Kesian sama tu kawan2 yang kana ejek tu. Nanti dorang besar tu dorang jadi perempuan lawa tu, jaga kamurang. Nah, yg tukang ejek tu silap2 jadi sikuriti ja yang duduk di ground floor bangunan, tapi di tingat 7 bangunan tu adalah itu boss perempuan yang kana kasi ketawa pasal bida masa dia kecil. So yang sudah besar panjang ni, pandai2 la ajar adik2 or anak2 kamu how to treat their peers.

And one more thing, untuk yg dibuli tu. Apa juga budak2 tau ba kan? Susah juga sia mau cakap sama dorang yang itu buli2, ejek2 tu semua, small matter ja. Susah juga sia mau cakap mcm tu sama dorang, sebab benda tu mimang menyakitkan hati. Susah juga sia mau suruh dorang to stay strong and jangan nangis. Apa yang sia boleh cakap adalah – kenali diri sendiri more than others kenal diri kau. Kalau kau kenal diri sendiri, nda kisah la apa orang cakap, kau tau kau tetap bagus ba. Nah, kalau budak2 paham ka bahasa sia ni? Tapi good thing about kids ni, dorang punya pikiran ni kan belum byk selok belok. Dorang think straight ja, dan mostly dorang tidak tau pun wujudnya dua jenis pikiran, iaitu positif dan negatif. Dorang main hantam saja. Masa sia sekolah rendah, sia mana tau ini pikiran negatif semua ni. Jadi sia rasa, benda ni bukanlah complicated mana pun kalau untuk pikiran budak2. Cuma since prevention is better than cure, baik jangan wujud langsung budaya bully ni di sekolah sebab effect dia dalam jangka masa panjang tu. So PLEASE...STOP BULLYING! Kamu yang membuli tu sudah cukup hebat dan kuat ka? Jangan banyak cakap! Apa mau bully2 oo...kasi BUKTI kehebatan kamu. Jadi orang yang berjaya, orang yang berguna – nah itu masa baru la kamu buli cakap yang kamu hebat. Kalau setakat mau bully2 macam tu, sendiri pun belum ada apa2. Paham adik2? Kalau kamu treat kawan kamurang baik2, bukan sia yang untung, kamu juga yang untung. Cos sampai kamu tua kawan2 kamu akan ingat kamu that. So if kamu belum mula, mula sekarang. Make a change today. Say NO to bully!!

The Friday Is So Good...

It’s a mourning day for the Catholics. A day to remember the crucifixtion of Jesus Christ. For all the Catholics, let us take this chance to meditate and think for a while, what our faith has done to us, and would we become without it. That’s the way I want to put it – the simplest language even the non-devoted could understand.

We have almost come to the end of the fasting season and what do we get from this season? Feels like it’s only yesterday that I was talking about Ash Wednesday, and now the season is coming to an end. But...it could be a bigger beginning to some people.

During this season, I actually feel so blessed. I have made a few changes that would affect me in the long run. Some of my problems have also solved much easily than I thought. You tell me...how can I NOT be thankful to God? Despite being someone who lacks in many areas even speaking of faith alone, He never abandons me. Yes, the same goes to the rest of us. It’s about noticing and sensing in what form the blessing comes to our lives. I will NOT mislook this, because I know I am a nobody who has nothing and the only reason why I’m still here is because the grace from above. Sometimes, when I say my thankfulness in my prayers, I feel that I can never say enough, as much as I mean it. I mean, it’s silly for me to ask this, but I hope the Lord would pause and look inside my heart and see how much more and more thankfulness I actually mean than what my mouth can say. It’s just too much. Thanks Lord :)

Without This faith that I have, even how small it is compared to what others have, it still has A LOT to do with who I am today. It’s because of my faith that I put constraints to my life, that I care to be called – good, nice – it’s because of this Faith. This faith taught me that I would be appreciated because of the good deeds that I do. Though I might not do it to get something back, but if I were to get something back, then I would be so grateful to receive something good. Speaking of “Good” – how good can I be? I know that I can’t be that good anyway. I am a human being with a lot of defects that mostly come from my own humanly weaknesses, but I realize that to be perfectly good is not the point. There’s a reason why we are created this way – and when we are so busy talking about perfection, it isn’t part of the agenda after all. It’s about fighting the evils with the small weapon of goodness inside us. It’s damn hard, yeah right, but that’s the point of telling who’s strong, who is not. If life is just so easy for us, we can simply give in to evil deeds and get away with it. As sinful as this world has become now, the challenges are getting bigger. If you can survive this world of sins without any blood on your hands, you’re might be a warrior in the eyes of your faith. Because it’s just hard. It’s just hard to be different – and this kind of different is “different” in the way that makes people look at you and suddenly got inspired – the kind of inspiration that make people see that it’s NOT BAD at all to be GOOD. To even have this mission is almost ridiculous to begin with because to be someone slightly different from others is not easy – in this world where we want to be EQUAL and we want to stand and sit the same height with those who are labelled as “great”, it’s just so easy to get drifted from your own agenda in life and without you knowing, you have been working your bum off just to achieve someone else’s dream. I tell you people, this is just a pinch of the challenges that we have to take on. How can we even enter this track without A FAITH that can tell you where to go, what to do – oh man, we seriously do need Faith.

I’m writing all this because I want to do some memory recall on what my faith has done to me. I might be “a lost sheep” without this faith, yes, even how humbly small it is. I think, it’s not meant to be that I have everything I want when I still have a long journey ahead of me to achieve them all. The point is to use this life to achieve our goals, and whether or not we still have that good Samaritan inside us on the way to the top, that’s the challenge. If we look for happiness all around, can we make that happiness exist in our hearts without stepping on others’ back or hear someone else screaming in pain – can we do that, people? Because to do OTHERWISE is surely much easier. After all, life is that mysterious. I seriously DON’T WANT to know everything yet. I want to uncover the mysteries one by one with my own hands. I want the Lord to know that I have seen a small part of this life that show me that the pleasure of this life is when you fall down and your own knees got hurt, bleed your own blood, you cry in pain with your own tears – It’s about you being the weak human being who is doing whatever possible to survive this life. How about that? :) I’m thankful for this day because it’s a celebration of FAITH, once again. I’m thankful for all the blessings that are given to my loved ones and I, and to all the people who have brought joys to our lives. A day like this reminds me of you guys even more. Praise the Lord.

How Hard Can It Be To Be A Friend?

An interesting sms that I received from a guyfriend a few days ago.

“It’s not easy to be your friend. Susah mau ambil your hati.”

Sia tekejut juga tu bila dia cakap mcm tu, considering yang he has access to me. Not only that, he actually gets my proper attention because when he sms me, I will reply even how busy I am, even how sleepy I am, even when the phone wakes me up from sleep! Actually…I do that to all my friends ba, bukan dia ja. *Lols. But sia still tekejut sebab I never think that it’s an issue that a friend should “ambil my hati” sebab as I said selalu, friendship ni tidak payah byk2 syarat ba. Kalau sudah u can talk to the person about anything, exchanging jokes and all – I think that the chemistry alone is good enough ba. Bukan senang u jumpa kawan yang ngam ba. So considering yang I am already “that friend” to him, why is he still complaining? And itu manusia curious (iaitu diriku *Lols) ni pun mula bertanya soalan tidak henti. Nda hairan ka tuu (Then tiba2 sia dengar suara si Jojon, “Jangan la kau banyak2 pikir baa litol sista” Hahahaahahahahahahahahahaha. Abis dia tu slalu tegur sia banyak pikir… :P)

Emm…anyway, maybe he has a point. This thing happens bila your friend wants more commitment from you than what you are willing to give. That’s normal la. Like me, walaupun ada org cakap mcm tu towards me, but actually I also don’t expect much from them. Sia cuma rasa bersyukur yang sia ada kawan untuk cerita and hang out and share stories… bagi sia, to have a friend who is there to lend their ears pun sia sudah cukup syukur. Sia tidak harap yang dorang akan dapat tolong sia masa sia susah, atau dorang mesti datang kalau sia jemput dorang datang majlis tertentu…dan sia harap orang pun buat begitu sama sia. Sebab sia sedar sia punya kemampuan ni ba. Kalau sia tidak mampu untuk jadi “kawan yang sebegitu” untuk kawan sia, then adalah tidak adil untuk sia harap benda mcm tu jg dari dorang. So bila ada orang cakap sama sia, “They have no true friends.” Then my point is simple, adakah kamu sendiri pun boleh jadi “true friend” itu untuk kawan2 kamu? Sia sudah buat a few posting about friends ni, jadi u guys should have known by now how I see this.

Dan speaking of myself, as a friend that I can be to other people – yes, mimang I know a lot of people who give MORE than I give, in the name of friendship. Maybe I’m below the average la ba ni kan, then maybe ada masa org rasa susah mau pula mau berkawan sama sia. Yaa, walaupun I’m tempted untuk deny this, but I have to sedar diri juga ba kan. Hehehehe. Actually, time to time sia TRY untuk keluar daripada constraint ini, and be a better friend untuk kawan2 sia. I give almost all my time untuk diri sia, but still I complain that I don’t have enough time even for myself – aiyoo…apa macam ni oh? Get a life la Twofivesix[256] !! Something needs to be fixed!!!

2009…can this be a year that I’m going to “break” the wall and then be a much better friend? I hope I can find a way to this.

Speaking of the SMS that I received from my guyfriend earlier on. Actually, it has a continuation. He ended his sentence with this.

“…But me puas hati dapat kawan macam you.”

Nahh! *Lols. Syukurr laaaa. At least I know I am not that bad ba. Syukurr betul sia kalau ada kawan2 sia yang appreciate my friendship ba! I mean it! Thank you thank you thank you muahss muahss muahsss (Hahahahaahahahahahahha. Just kidding guys. Just want to make you guys laugh ba.)

Anyway, walaupun ada kawan2 sia yang rasa sia ni separuh-separuh ja dalam commitment sia, but sia sayang u guys semua ba. I always pray for you guys tau. I never forget my friends even in my prayers.

So, how hard can it be to be a friend? I’m not the best person to answer, but I can only suggest something...how about...

“Just be yourself?”...

Try it, if it works, share it with us. :)

"She Talks Like A Train!!"

“Wah, so hyper ah…”, said my big bro the last time we had a telephone conversation. “Punya laju kau cakap. Macam juga kau menaip. Kau berpikir pun laju”, he added. And I was like, “Erks, really ka?”

That was 2 days ago tau.

A male teacher stopped at my desk and asked me something. And there I was explaining to him with my friend sitting beside me. I remember that in the midst of talking and talking, the teacher smiled – like he was exchanging signals with me friend. I had no idea, but I was not done talking yet (*Lols). So when I was done, she told me this. “While you were talking, I wrote something on the paper and the teacher saw it.” “Ah? What did you write?” She said, “I wrote, “Macam keretapi kan?” Referring to the way to speak.” And I went, “What?? Adakah kau buat mcm tu!! Laju ka sia cakap?” (*Lols)

Ladies and gentleman, and that happened when I was only in Form 1, barely 13 years old.

Omigawd! Betul ka I talk that fast? Sia nda mau mengaku eh!! (Hahahahahahaha)

Actually, I receive a lot of comments ba when people saw me typing. “Wah, punya cepat kau menaip!” Untuk seorang yang never go to typing course, mimang I type so so fast. I sedar juga but it’s not a big deal for me. I feel that semua orang akan menaip mcm tu kalau dalam kepala dorang ni ada berlumba-lumba idea mau keluar. Ha!! That’s the point. My ideas are flowing ba tu, then kalau sia punya jari menaip macam itu siput, macamana mau tangkap tu idea semua kan?

Then, mungkin itu jugalah alasan sia kenapa sia cakap cepat. Sebab berbaris sudah tu benda di kepala sia, then I have to cakap cepat la nanti itu benda hilang mcm tu saja. Satu kerugian tu!!

Masa sibuk2 chatting tu, my big bro selalu cakap benda ni, “Cepat tul pikiran kau ah.” Then I pun heran. Macamana dia buli terpikir yang pikiran sia ni cepat. Maybe when we talk about something, trus sia buli teka sudah apa ending tu cerita ba, or apa maksud tersirat di sebalik watak2 yg terlibat dalam cerita tu. Actually, only in the case when benda tu semua pakai common sense then only you can predict ba tu apa outcome tu cerita. Bagi sia, org yang buli cakap sia punya pikiran ni cepat tu yang sebenarnya cepat tu pikiran dia, sebab dia buli tangkap sia dalam situasi itu. Betul ka tidak? *Lols. (Apa macam? Terrer ka sia kasi pantul tuduhan? Haahahahahaha :P)

Apa2 pun…sia rasa sia punya gaya yang cakap cepat ni, sia patut kasi slow down sikit. Apa lagi kalau sia bercakap sama orang yang ada sound trouble, atau orang yang sedang mengantuk…mesti tidur terus that. Hahahaahahaha. Maybe sampai org mau cakap, Shut Up ba Twofivesix[256]!!! Haiyaaa, ntah apa2 la kau cakap tu semua. Satu barang pun sia nda paham apa kau cakap ba !! *Lols Syukur laa kalau nda kana umban apa2 barang yang bikin sakit. Hahahahahahaha. Ya la ba…sia try la ba ni untuk slow down dan “sedar diri” masa sia sudah terbawa-bawa sia punya kerancakan bercakap tu. Sia tau ini perangai ni tidak berapa bagus ba. Apa lagi kalau becakap di phone yang inda nampak muka, confirm la dorang rasa mau hempas saja tu phone ba pi dinding. Hahaahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Anyway, I will try to tone down on that okay. Yaa, sia setuju yang itu habit buli dikawal dan tidak begitu baik untuk kesihatan telinga kawan2 sia, *Lols Anyway, I won’t say sorry for typing and thinking fast, sebab sia buli guna tu benda untuk kebaikan ba kan. Kalau sia nda gitu, maybe sia akan jadi blogger yang slow dan tidak tau apa mau tulis. Ini tidak, hari2 ada ja benda sia mau tulis. Macam nda pandai abis2 ba topic dunia ni. Tapi BEST!!! Pasal habit sia tu la sia buli guna untuk buat something dengan lebih baik.

Well, cepat tu cepat jugaaa…tapi ada hal2 tertentu dalam life sia ni yang sia sangatttttt la slowww…slowwww gilaa mcm tu anak siput yang baru lahir…Hahahahaha. Trust me, dalam hal2 yang sia slow ni kan, sudah ramai org geram sama sia ba. Buat decision pun slow, mau pikir lu masak2 kunu. Kin panazz. *Lols. So kalau dalam situasi tertentu kan, mimang la akan ada orang geram sama sia punya slowness ni. Nah…apa macam ni? Jan kamurang marah2 sia ba kalau sia laju, sebab kalau sia slow pun kamurang marah oso. Susah la mau benapas ni gini tau ging!! (*Lols)

Apa pun, laju yg menyumbang kepada kemajuan tu, apa salahnya. Tapi part becakap laju mcm train tu, bertempat juga la ba kan hehehehehe. Ya la ya laaa…sia try la ba kasi slow ah. Thanks sama sepa yang sudah menegur sia tu (padahal dari Form 1 lagi sudah kena tegur, nda jua pandai ubah2 Hahahahahahahaha).

Have fun all…:)

A Hairdo Mission

“Kau nda mau try ka buat macam itu rambut Rihanna?” said my friend who dropped over. Then I paused a bit and said, “Emm...nice oso if try something new. But, sayang la my long hair. Belum pernah my hair panjang like this bah.” Then itu conversation end dengan tiada kata putus.

“Eh which one you like ah, perempuan rambut lurus atau rambut keriting?” I sms-ed my guyfriend last nite. “I like both”, he said. (*Lols. Sepa suruh tanya yg kaki perempuan punya. Mimang la ba suma dia suka!! Hahahaha) Then he added, “Tinguk muka juga ba tu, baru tau ngam rambut mana satu.” Nah, that one sounds better. Terus sia rasa soalan sia inda masuk book ba. Mimang la ba hairstyle is subjective ba tu. Mimang sia nda akan jumpa jawapan yang memuaskan hati sia. Lain orang lain kesukaan dia. So mimang nda berkesudahan tu kalau sia tanya2 orang.

Actually, I have been thinking for almost 2 weeks now...I need a HAIRDO, very badly. My hair sudah tidak makan kana iron...dia akan berlekuk di bahagian yang I always clip. It pissed me off sebab nampak my hair messy. Actually, I like to let my hair down ba, sebab clipping it mcm kasi rusak, but then mimang tidak tahan tu kalau sudah di rumah. I have to clip juga my hair. Then mimang I need a visit to the saloon ni tau. At least do a makeover with my hair, get a new hairdo that makes me worry less about it, and hopefully feel good about it all over again. Heheheeheheh :P

Mimang I fancy the wavy thingy on long hair – digital perm. It looks so nice, but kalau hal mcm tu, I have to be VERY SPECIFIC macamana punya wave yang sia mau, because I have to live with that hair for months or maybe a year. And not that I’m so cerewet but I won’t let “just any perm” to be done on my hair – I must bring a photo to show to the person who will do my hair so that I get a confirmation that “Yes, I can do exactly like that, I guarantee you” – at least I hear something like that, baru sia senang hati. I know at least that person is confident he can deliver, he is one foot there already. So since I get so mixed up with what kind of wave I like, then I just got stuck here wondering --- “What I’m going to do with my hair ah....” What colour ahh...do I still want red or can my hair accepts brown? Hahaahahahahahahaha. You don’t want to know what’s going on in my head so 256, pls keep quiet!! *Lols

Whatever it is, I’m sure I will need one whole day sitting at the saloon and get something done to my hair. It would be damn long. This is one of the reasons that slows me down from getting a new hairdo. I have so sacrifice time. The last time I visited the hair saloon, the hairstylist engaged me in a long conversation – I spend 6 hours in the saloon just for a new haircolour that didn’t even work on my hair. Damn...it was such a mockery to the value of time. I understand that he chatted and chatted with me because he didn’t want me to complain why it took so long for him to wash the colour off my hair. He knew “this customer” bikin panas punya nii --- matai la kalau itu colour tidak masuk, nanti dia complain lagi. *Lols. As a result to that, the colour LANSUNG tidak masuk! Gila punya kerja. With such a reputation kan, hal gitu patut tidak jadi ba. Then he blamed it on the colour – and he siap pegi bergaduh lagi on the phone sama tu colour punya supplier. Sebab itu colour mahal ba kunun, one stick sudah RM50 – but why my hair yg dari perang2 sikit terus jadi hitam! Hahahahaahahahahaha Kelam kabut baa dia mau jawab sia. Bah enough on that. Yang lepas tu lepas, but now sia paning mau pikir apa mau buat sama hair sia....deiiii!!!

Maybe in 1 week or so, I will get a new hairdo anyway. Yaa, kadang2 bosan ba tinguk di cermin, itu saja tu rambut kan. So I do it to get a new spirit jua ba ni kunun. *giggles. Bah, apa2 saja laa...yang penting, sia syukur ada rambut sia ni...syukurr sangat2. Jadi nda kisah la apa hairdo, yang penting sia ada ini rambut pun sia gumbira sudah!!! (*Lols....)

Note: Hehehehehe geram ba this sebab still cannot make up my mind. Yang penting, jan pla kita lupa yang ada rambut pun cukup syukur sudah that :)

"Si Tukang Nangis"

Kiut ba ni gaya kuat nangis ni…or in bahasa percakapan, dorang panggil CENGENG. Sikit2 mau nangis. I remember the comment from my first younger brother yang cakap, “Actually ni menangis ni, sweet juga ba ni kalau untuk perempuan.” Then baru sia ada idea untuk pikir yg menangis ni pun satu sifat keperempuanan juga. Dei, cool ka ni gaya kuat nangis ni?

Buli sia tulung jawab ka?

Jawapannya adalah…TIDAK cool langsung!!

Sudahlah menangis itu satu proses yang tidak menyenangkan, and then membawa suasana pilu lagi sama org keliling. Then, berjangkit lagi tu!

Sekali imbas, org cakap menangis ni hanya ketika sedih, sedangkan kalau gembira pun nangis dan kalau terlampau takut pun nangis, dan terlampau geli pun sama juga nangis! Haiyaaa! *Lols

Ada ba ni sorang kawan sia, which was my roommate masa tu. Dia ni geli betul sama cicak. Jadi ada sorang kawan sia ni, nakal betul. Sudah la dia tau kawan sia sorang tu geli cicak, dia pigi lagi kasi takut2. “Nah kau imagine la ada tu cicak kan jalan di badan kau and then pigi masuk mulut kau…” then sempat lagi dia buat gaya ba. Apa lagi kawan sia ni terus nangis ba tu masa. Hahahahahahahahahaha. Terbeliak ba biji mata kami, nda pula sangka dia akan nangis.

Dan ada lagi sekali tu. Ha, yang ini sia sendiri pun pernah. Menangis sebab terlampau TAKUT ba! Deii…abis terlampau takut sudah, nda tau apa lagi mau buat. Then nangis saja lor! *Lols. Yang tukang kasi takut itu ba, tul2 ba minta kana saman. Sudah tau urg tu penakut, yg dia pi kasi takut lagi tu apa pasal? Sia ingat ba tu, ni semua zaman school la ba ni, tinggal sama2 kawan. Then sudah la tau kawan sia tu penakut gila tahap dewa dewi, dia pigi cerita pula pasal cerita bikin takut yg ada kunu sorang kawan kami tu nampak itu anggota2 badan manusia ba yang berpisah2. Apa lagiii itu kawan sia, dia betul2 nda ready mau dengar tu cerita, terus ba dia nangis. *Lols. I mean, u imagine la going thru the nite dengan bayangan yang macam2. Apa lagi mau buat? Then nangis lor! Hahahahahahahaha. Funny pula kan guys.

Then menangis kegembiraan tu, of course la – mimang something pleasurable. Biasa kalau masa wedding tu, masa peluk parents and mentua dorang tu, biasanya nangis2 tu. But terharu ba tu kali kan? Rasa tersentuh ba juga tu. Pun air mata keluar juga. Tapi pasal air mata keluar tu la membuatkan detik tu begitu bermakna ba kan. Mimang memainkan peranan juga ba air mata ni kan guys. Lain lagi masa nangis sebab menang sesuatu, then buli juga menangis sebab rasa relief yang teramat sangat like terlepas daripada satu bebanan masalah – Wow…masa2 sia sedang menulis ni pula sia baru terpikir yg menangis ni satu EXPRESI yang betul2 extreme ba kan. Like, you hit that point yg betul2 menyentuh hati kau, then air mata pun keluar. Okay…sudah cukup ulasan. Then let me ask you, are you the type of person yg cepat nangis ka? Tinguk movie pun bukan main meleleh-leleh lagi tu air mata. Capat2 lap pakai baju ni ba masa urg nda tinguk. Hahahahahaha. Well, I tell you guys ah. Jadi seorang yang CENGENG ni langsung nda best. Orang nampak mcm kebudak-budakan sebab sikit2 hal pun mau nangis. Tapi ini perangai tidak kira umur ba tu. Sia rasa mimang org yang “perasa” ni akan mudah tersentuh dan menangis. Bikin malu juga la ba kan kalau sudah besar pun masih lagi menangis. But mesti ada something yang sangat menyentuh hati la tu ertinya. Bukan suka2 ba ni menangis ni. Ingat best ka tu.

Untuk yang lelaki2 tu. Kan lelaki ni orang cakap adalah makluk yang spatutnya gagah perkasa? Tidak ngam la ba tu gelaran gagah perkasa tapi sikit2 tu air mata keluar. Hehehe. But sia jumpa banyak o lelaki yang cepat nangis. Ada lagi yang lebih mudah nangis dari sia sendiri ba, sedangkan sia ni perempuan. Duii…camana tu? Teresak-esak lagi tu. Kalau la itu lelaki tu boyfriend sia, inda ka janggal tu sia pula yang memujuk dia supaya berenti nangis? Then apa macam lai tu mau pujuk lelaki yang menangis? Hehehehe. Uiii…baik sia nda payah pikir susah2. Tapi yang lelaki tu, kena kuat sikit la ah. If girlfriend or bini kamu sedih, tapi kamu punya tangisan tu lagi kuat, camana la tu? Mesti u tunjuk kuat la ba, supaya org sebelah kamu tu pun buli rasa kuat juga.

Apa pun, menangis ni satu expresi perasaan ba tu. At the same time, it’s good juga untuk sebab2 kesihatan – yang sia pernah baca la. Then it’s good untuk menangis sekali sekala. Maybe the dirt pun ble keluar dari mata kita ni. Heran kenapa sia tulis topik ni? Sebab sia ni adalah seorang Tukang Nangis ba ni guys. So sia tau apa rasa dia bila sudah tersentuh tu, air mata mimang mau keluar. I don’t want to remember the last time sia punya air mata keluar tidak henti2, sebab saat menangis tu satu penyeksaan untuk sia but not much I can do kalau sudah benda tu part of my nature. Inda best ba guys. Bagus la tu kalau kamu jenis yg susah nangis. Tapi…sekali sekala kamu menangis tu, tiada salahnya ba kan. Selagi kita ni ada hati dan perasaan, selagi itu la tidak mustahil untuk kita menangis. Tapi menangis biar la berpada-pada ba tu odu2 cakap. Hehehehe.

Sia mau cerita salah satu kenangan yg sia betul2 menangis teruk. Ada ba ni anjing kami ni warna putih. Duii gia. Tu anjing kan hyper ba gaya dia, dia suka lumpat excited nda tentu pasal. Itu la kelebihan dia. Sia masih ingat tu my dad sayang tu anjing tu…dia kasi mandi la, and semua tu la. Mimang asal saja ada anjing kami my dad mimang jaga betul2 punya tu. But dalam byk2 anjing yg kamirang pernah pelihara kan, dia ni saja yang sia “buat kawan”. Sebab gaya dia mcm “budak2” tu kan, sia selalu kasi main dia ba. Sia tayang2 tu biskut kan then sia tarik. Trus dia cubuk2 ba sia. Sia berabis ketawa and then I spoke to him lagi, dan dia tinguk ja sia. Maybe dia paham ba kali tu. So lepas sia main2 sama dia, baru sia kasi tu biskut. Then masa kami pindah rumah tu, my dad bawa juga dia ba, dia kasi selimut lagi tu anjing masa dalam perjalanan tu. Terus “poimizo” ba kunu dia, mcm dia tau ja yang dia nda buli nakal2. Then kejap ja dia get used to suasana baru. Mesti my dad panggil2 dia tu kalau nda nampak dia…then capat dia datang. Ada sekali tu, kena panggil pun dia nda datang, bila my dad check, sana pula dia tidur. Itu kepala dia ngam2 dia landing di atas tu salur paip. Punya ketawa my dad. Pandai juga itu “budak” cari kedudukan selesa mau landing. Terus kami semua keluar la tinguk dia titun sana paip tu. Berdengkur lagi tu. Duii giaaa tu anjing. Banyak benda kami ble ingat pasal dia ba. But nda lama lepas tu, dia start sudah sakit. Yang paling sedih, kami bukan sudah dapat jumpa dia selalu sebab kami stay di rumah yg lain. Lama juga tu dia tahan2 sakit dia tu. Dia nda mau makan. Worry juga my dad. So during one weekend, my sister pegi drop by di rumah kami tu untuk ambil something, dan dia balik kan, selamba ja dia cakap, “Mati sudah tu anjing. Kesian o.” Sebak betul ba hati sia tu masa. But sia tahan ja and tidak banyak pikir. Tapi malam tu sebelum sia tidur, sia nangis berabis ba. Nangis yang terlampau punya. Macam kalau buli semua tu air mata sia mau keluar satu kali. Sia ingat semua tu kenangan macamana sia main2 sama dia kasi tinguk2 dia tu biskut. Sia ingat masa dia tidur berbantalkan itu salur paip. Sia ingat dia punya hyper tu yang buat byk org tidak suka dia sebab dia suka ikut2 belakang org dan panjat kaki. Tapi kalau dia teda, org buli rasa sunyi baa. So malam tu sia betul2 nangis sampai mata sia bengkak sudah esok dia. Kalah2 pula nangis putus cinta ba.

Itu baru anjing biasa2 saja…bukan pun anjing yg mimang kepunyaan sia – pun sudah sia nangis mcm tu. Sia betul2 JARA ba. Sia nda mau sudah kami piara anjing. Sejak dia teda kan, my dad tidak pernah adapt any anjing sudah untuk tulung jaga rumah. Sia namau lagi ada anjing oo. Sia nda mau lagi nangis mcm tu. Sebab org mimang nda akan pecaya ba tu kalau sia cakap sia buli nangis teruk pasal seekor anjing. And you guys know what? Masa sia menulis ni pun, sia punya air mata nda dapat tahan ba. Mungkin anjing tu mimang betul2 special. And terkena lagi sama si Tukang Nangis ni…lagi la…hehehehehe

Dui giaaa. Apa pun, menangis ni bagi kita lebih rasa elemen kehidupan ni. Sebab kita nda akan menangis kalau benda tu tidak menyentuh hati kita. Tapi walau apapun, I hope that sia lagi kuat dari ini ba – when it comes to bab2 menangis ni. Hehehehe. Bukan apa, malas sia mau jawab tu soalan, Eh kenapa mata kau bengkak tu? Paham2 la ba urg baru nangis. Deii, mau ditanya lagi ba. Hehehehe. So, kepada sekalian Tukang Nangis di luar sana, control ayu dan control macho la walaupun anda memegang profesion yg tidak dibayar itu. Hehehehehehehe.

Pesanan dari penaja: Nangis tu nangis jugaaa…control2 la ba sikit ahh. Hehehehehe