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Monday, April 27, 2020

I Try Not To Miss You



Actually I'm missing someone right now. If he happens to visit my blog again and read this, I want to say something to you. I feel that it's so unfair that whenever you think of me, you can visit my blog silently; in the dark and no one had to know. While I could not reach you even for a simple Hello. I realized there are many questions the last time that I didn't bother to seek for answers. I was so overtaken by my emotion that I believed the best thing was to let go because the tighter I held on to it, the more it hurt. I know you are still visiting my blog and whenever you do, you did it for hours. I know you are still looking for the post that was written for you. You see the Search box that I put at the side of my blog? Yeah, that is for you to use cos I know you will always go back in that time when we discussed some of my funniest posts. I remember we laughed so hard about the stories I put in those old posts. You sure remember them more than those newer posts where you are not anymore involved.

I indeed have forgotten you right after you left. I have really forgotten you. It never occurred to me I could revisit you like you happened only yesterday. Seriously. I didn't know some of the memories were still stored. I read them back and I remember WHY.  WHY it was you and not someone else. You were not just to fill a void. I realize that even more than the same plot could just happen again but looks like that amount of chemistry doesn't happen all the time.

Or maybe I can still choose to end this in a bitter note. Like you are just a man and what happened was still your fault. And you deserved all those aches and agony. Don't blame me cos I have endured being patient before I totally lost it. I wished I said a goodbye. But I just let myself leave. 

Still, I miss you right now.

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