Had a conversation with a friend (a divorcee with 3 kids), who recently got married secretly to a married man of 3 kids. I wrote about her situation before. Anyway, she just got back from London where the husband was. After she came back to Sabah, the first wife and the 3 kids's turn to go to London. I bet they had no idea that there was a lady who came first before them and stayed at that same house room with the husband/father.
The guy told my friend to avoid checking out on the first wive's Fb to avoid seeing any happy photos of them that might make her feel unhappy. But my friend still does it. She showed me one pic she took from the first wife's Fb, of a happy family in London, all wearing big smiles. She told me, "Tipu la kalau sia nda jeles".
I told her repeatedly that she has that strength. You seriously have that strength. But she confessed to me that, Everyday she tells herself to not feel bad with her situation, to not feel jealous. But sometimes she fails. It hurts the most thinking that her husband will touch another woman the way that they touch. But then she realizes it was her who comes second. She only saw the husband like once every few months. Because she is the secret wife. He spends most of his time at the first home. But she likes it that she has all the freedom and still have someone to call a husband without doing her wifely duty everyday. In case you wonder why the husband marries another. He claimed that the wife gives all the attentions to the kids and he feels distanced. They no longer share the same bedroom. The wife actually mentioned about divorce but her terms mean the kids must for with her. The guy doesn't want that.
To my friend, she is number 1 to the husband. She believes when he tells her he never touches the first wife anymore. That he doesn't love her anymore. That they stay married for the kids. Could be true. But when she was at London the other day, she checked his phone and saw a lady's picture that her husband took secretly. Maybe he saw the lady somewhere and he took her candid picture. My friend was so mad. The husband said, it was a friend's friend and all the bla bla bla. Finally he admitted that he took the picture before he liked to see her body shape. My friend was so mad that the husband actually went to his knees to beg for forgiveness.
Our conversation comes to the point, "What can you expect from a man, anyway?" Hahahahaha. I mean, everything comes out from the man's mouth, sometimes they are sweet to hear but you know they are not likely to be true. Sometimes you have to close your eyes and tell yourself all the lies you want to hear. Again, what can you expect from a man? That he will love you alone for the rest of your life? That he will never look at other girls anymore? That's impossible. I think the conversation got her to the hurtful facts. I saw her face changed a few times. Because I kept dropping the honest bombs about men. Sorry to say but if they have 10 girls offering themselves to him, most men will accept all.
I told her, You have chosen to be in his life. You are married to him. To protect yourself, stop checking on his personal belongings. Don't insist to know everything. You will not like what you find out. I'm sure that after this, you will avoid from knowing too much. Because men are not created the same attributes women are created. I mean, we are very much different. Whatever that is wrong for women to do, we can't expect men to think the same. They function differently. They see female - as many things that bring them excitement. They can be a wife, a friend, an entertainment, a good time, and each woman for different task. For them, tt's not wrong for them to feel this way towards women. As for us, we can't do the same because - like I say, we are just born different from men. So they can never be what we dream of because we dream of the impossible. We can never solve this problem of how to make a man stick to one woman only. If we can't accept the way of their creation, we will forever suffer. I tell her to just carry on, focus on the happy points of her life and her choice of being the secret wife to the guy that she loves. No one can tell her that it's wrong. It's her decision and she will find her happiness from there.
If you ask me, I myself still wonder how can a man love his kids but take the mother of the kids for granted? How can a man love more than one woman and still feel and act like he's the most sincere lover in the world? Men don't deserve that much research. Just accept their creation. That's how they are. Full stop. But it doesn't mean we will accept and agree with anything they do. We know how to retaliate but what can men do? Nuthin. LOLS. Men are selfish. They will let the women fight for them and then as long as one of them wins, it's okay for him as long as he's not the losing part. He will still come home with one woman who manages to beat the other. He will never be empty handed. That's good enuff for him. How selfish. But guess what, don't ask them that they will never admit. They will prove you by their act so no sweat. LOLS.
I write this without thinking. If I read this again sometime and regret something, I'll take this down. LOLS. Well, I have to write something in case anybody misses me kan...:PPP Hahahaha
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