Why “It’s Ok” is not okay and “I’m Sorry” is something to be sorry for.

Do you guys believe that the simplest words u use can actually be the reason of constant arguments? The mistake that people do is – just because these words are simple – people thought they could use it to simplify a complicated situation. But you guys are wrong. At least I think so.

It’s Ok – No, maybe it’s not ok. You know why? When there’s a problem that make you guys go haywire, both of u know that SOMETHING is wrong. “It’s Ok” is totally out of place to describe the situation. Especially when you guys have started to have an issue about something, suddenly u say, “It’s Ok” when it’s definitely Not Yet Okay. So actually the impression you’re making is – to just forget everything and pretend it never happens. But that’s not the right thing to do because this phrase can make your partner go nuts because instead of settling the problem, you sweep it under the carpet Unsolved. That means the problem is still there, but you put it a stop because u don’t want to work out on the solution. Don’t be surprised if your partner gets so angry when you use It’s Ok excessively. It’s an escapade. Both of you are still keeping the issue inside and if your partner accepts your It’s Ok, chances are anyone of you could bring up this matter during bad times and this adds up to the new problems that are most likely swept under the carpet too when you keep on resorting to It’s Ok. The worst part is when you are not done with the matter itself – this can be the poison in the relationship in the long run.

I would suggest you to SAY IT when it doesn’t feel right. Your partner would expect you to feel uneasy with any issue raised so trust me maybe it’s just u who think that you gonna silent the storm with your It’s Ok. What you are making is a volcano that is waiting to explode when too much matters are kept inside and delayed for solution. So I suggest that every discomfort must be settled before sleep. Even if you have to keep talking about the matter, at least you guys are satisfied when an agreement has been met about the certain issue. Even if you have to hear your partner mumble longer but at least that’s all that u have to endure on that issue. So the key is…Do not make your problem sleep overnite cos that gonna spell disaster in the long run. It’s Ok is not only until you settle it right to the end!

I’m Sorry – This is a phrase that you can say sorry for because sometimes it DOESN’T work!! I’m Sorry is a very irritating line when you think everything will go back to normal after you say it. It’s not so! For example, you did something that needs explanation but you instead of explaining, you present your "I'm Sorry" just so your partner know that you did something that you are not proud of and hope he/she will just take it and forget everything and start a clean slate again! There is something very wrong with this approach because your partner wants to know WHY you did what you did and you should give explanation and maybe excuses or maybe anything just to let your partner know that you REALLY mean it when you say you're sorry. If you try to explain, it shows that you seriously regret what has happened and you mean well that you will not let it happen again. So I'm Sorry becomes a word that you say out of negligence that you expect your partner to just close the case and accept it as a mistake and never know why and how and what led you to making that mistake. So you know, sometimes when you say I'm sorry, it does more harm than good.

I have a suggestion to the couples who always get into arguments. If you guys love each other, and none of you is playing foul to one another - then tell me what's the need of spending another nite in heartache just because of small matters like your partner has to wait another 30 minutes for you to arrive just because you get stuck in a traffic jam or you have to attend to something more urgent - and simple situations like that can't be so hard to solve. When you finally arrive, you say "I'm Sorry" and your partner say "It's Ok" - both of you are only trying to hide discomfort by thinking that it's just nothing. Your partner would prefer you to say reason why you are late but doesn't say it, instead just saying It's Ok when the thought runs wild that you could be using the time to cheat behind her/him. So when you start to have so many unanswered questions and too many assumptions - small things can lead to big arguments because of so many unsettled matters that could start from the simplest things.

So all this leads to one big fact about a relationship that works - Communication is very important. Say it, listen and get heard. Don't rely too much on It's Ok and I'm Sorry cos it's another heart that you are dealing with. It's the heart of the one you love. Handle it with care :)