I still remember it was one Very Tough paper. I took it during a short semester that only a few students took the same paper so the lecturer gave the full attention to the students. So what happened to me was, I was getting myself busy with my hobby with computer work. Mind you, I was not sent to school doing computers or graphics. The Prof doesn’t have to know what I like doing. He doesn’t have to care. Cos what he should know, he was in charged of a tough subject that I must score to graduate. But maybe I was in the jinx of my bad years, I just got too excited with my extra work. I was hired to do something by an organization that could earn me money and then I could show my skills. Chances like that don’t come always. So I was so occupied with my other work WHILE I should be doing my schoolwork. When the Prof asked me to come, I said, “Sorry Prof, I had to finish my work first. This is a paid work. I must meet the deadline.” Goshh 256, were you crazy or what? I said that to a Prof, who was trying to help me to graduate, and I gave the superstupid excuse that “Sorry, I don’t have time for that.” I cancelled a few class sessions maybe because I had long decided that my heart was NOT in my course anymore. But did the Prof has to know? Nope he didn’t have to. To hell with what I think. What the Prof knew was to give me a grade. If the grade was bad, I might land in trouble. The Prof has the power to do this. But yet I didn’t care. I totally lost it, don’t u guys think? Ok save it! Hahahaahaha.
I got warned before by my the senior friends that in higher learning institute- it’s not like primary/secondary school where you are evaluated totally from the final exam paper. In college or university, the lecturers have full power on your grade. You can be nice to your lecturer and expect to get A. I totally broke that rule. I wasn’t nice to my Prof. I threw bad attitudes in my studies and I gave the worst excuses to skip classes – I was officially the SuperBad 256 wearing a Devil mask in my Prof’s eyes. The peak of the story, I went to the final exam trying to make up for all the skip classes. I thought I was going to pull it off and earned at least a PASS remark for that subject. I didn’t know what the Prof did to my paper. Maybe he didn’t even look at it. Maybe he threw it away. I don’t know. What I know is, he gave me a FAIL for that paper. At once chance when we bumped into each other, he told me, “You said you don’t have time. So I don’t have time to check your paper.” Then I was soo sooo devastated by my Prof’s evil maneuver to get back to me. “No he could not do this to me!!!!”, If I were to scream out loud. It was crazy and it was driving me nuts.
So I had to retake the paper. I had to meet the Prof again but this time- I never skipped one session. I had to meet him without anguish in my eyes, although I hated him so much. But I went through with it until the course was done. But hear how it all ended up. On my graduation day, while I was walking on the stage to receive my mock transcript, my eyes ran towards the bunch of lecturers who sat not far from there and my eyes stuck at my Prof, who was looking at me that time – With A Smile. I smiled back quickly and went ahead and took my certificate. I decided that the smile and the stare from my Prof was the Most Meaningful that I could recall that time. That was the smile coming from a person who made me paid for my mistakes – who would NOT let me graduate until I learnt the most valuable lessons in my life. Something inside me said to me that, “If he let me pass the paper, I would become a graduate who is intellectually handicapped. I won’t know how to respect my time and people’s time. I won’t know how to make full use of my capability given the limitations. I won’t know how to take things seriously and professionally cos in the reality of job world, your personal matter has nothing to do with your job. Oh man, he taught me a lot. And from cursing and swearing him – I finally swallowed my own words and decided that he’s the face I owe something to should I reach somewhere, someday.
After I graduated, I became a changed person. I took a few extra courses in different organizations and I got good remarks from other people because I am serious and focused, I respect people’s time and I appreciate every knowledge that the tutors teach. Maybe it was out of trauma or phobia – but this one is really helping me to build Who I Am today. Yes I was embarrassed. I was ashamed. But still, Thanks is the best word to my Prof for the lifetime lesson. :)
*giggles.
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