“Duit Boleh Dicari Tapi…”

I have a little situation just now. I asked a jobless friend to do something for me since everyone else in my department was busy with something. If I were to do it myself, it would take the whole sleepless night for me. The job was simple, but it became tough because of the time constraint. I was being selfish because I did not want to engage in the petty stuff since I have more important thing to do, so I called a friend who needed extra income. I actually paid for the work prior to handling it to her.

She came this morning, and said to me she finished it all in one night. She woke up at 4 AM just to continue with the work. She was concerned about my deadline too. And she even asked her family members to help her out. She came to the office bringing all the work, I noticed that the job that she did in 1 night, was not even half from what we both could do in all the day hours. She must have doubled her intensity, and not to mention that she got lack of sleep and even injury, stress and anything – just to complete the task for me. While she was out to take her lunch, I was thinking again, Have I paid for that hardwork? Of course I remember. I did pay for it already. But the little voice inside me saying that…what I paid was NOTHING compared to what she did. I could never complete the task, I would still be pressured by counting every minutes that pass. I suddenly realize that, yeah, it could be a simple work that anyone could do, but not anyone would do it, especially with the little amount of money. I thought that “I should pay her more.” Maybe the amount that I paid for her was enough for the kind of work but something was not feeling right. She deserved more. 

This is what I did.

When she came back, I took out my wallet and pulled out a few notes and put it on the table near her. She saw it and I noticed she was surprised because she knew I have paid the day before but I pretended I FORGOT that I have paid her. She always know that I am a person who has my mind all over different stuff so I might overlook things – in the worst case scenario I could possibly forgot to pay or even pay double – I mean, Yeah, Thanks that I could make people think that I could be that careless. Hehe. Anyway, she did not say to me that, “Eh 256, I thought you have paid me yesterday?” Of course she didn’t dare to say it because I know she needed the money and yet she knew the effort that she did was beyond any amount, especially when she made it on time. She helped me to make it on time. My evil side told me that I could spend the money on something else. I didn’t have to double pay her since she put such a low value to her energy and time. I mean, from our other conversations, I learned that she didn’t expect to get paid much.

Then my angelic side told me that…Whatever that I have paid her, I could earn it all back. It wasn’t even a lot. The commitment that someone showed, and how I appreciate a friend who did something for me, it was beyond any value. I could underpay her and get away with it, and I officially take advantage from someone who is less fortunate than me. So my angelic side won. I paid with a light heart. She deserved it. Money is just money. It’s NOTHING compared to the good bond between humans; especially friends. If I want to find the right time to be kind and nice, THIS IS THE TIME. I do it to the deserving friend. Like people said, “Duit Boleh Dicari…” Life is just temporary. Money is not our master. If we have a little more than others, we share it. It might not be much, but the little joy that we bring to them, will go a long way. One day we might be the one in need, and we understand that the good conscience in someone in my position now, means A LOT. And that day, you know that you would be saying, “Only God could repay her.” The heaven must be smiling. :))

Only The Strong!!!

Business is getting tougher day to day. To start a business is hard you say? I agree. But it’s much tougher to make it survive. You heard how people started business today only to close down months later. Not even a year, my friends! Now what are we talking about actually? Is it the attitudes, the competitiveness or it’s just the end of the world for many kinds of business out there?

I may not be the best person to speak of this. Just look at business loans. They have piling of applications of the high-spirited businessman wannabes – they have plans – they have visions – they have the spirit to make it happen. When the loans are approved and they get the money, only a few could actually make it like the plan they presented. The rest of them tried something but screwed halfway. And the rest of them just vanished. Now you know you can start a business with some effort, but you need more than effort to make it survive. Then here’s the question. Is it enough just to survive?

I had some mind sharing with the people who are in this field. They feel it how tough to even see another day doing the thing that they have been doing. People said location is everything. But sorry. Even those who opened a shop at Centre Point could close in months. Or do you means 1Borneo? Or Suria KK? Or Wisma Merdeka? You name it. High profiled shopping malls don’t promise anything. With the rental that is too high, the location alone is not enough to make them earn more. With the existence of cheaper alternatives, people who are more into needs and less on the brands and styles can rely more on budget stores like RM2 shops to get their household equipments. Trust me even the used clothes are in better demand than the clothes that you see in high end retail shops. Hell, the people who are selling kuih at the tamu are earning more than some of the business owners who rent shop lots.

This could be the reality of business scenario nowadays. It’s tough everywhere. Even the place like 1Borneo is only a place where people come and watch, but not buy. Even the eating outlets are hard to survive unless they have long ventured in this business and have strong capital to cover temporary losses due to unpredictable customer flow. People who rely entirely on business as the source of their income are having a hard time to think for their future. Would there be tomorrow for their business or should they change profession?

If they think using the straight way, or force on their original plan to work – they just can’t force things to happen their way. They must amend their strategy so that they can keep in the track of going forward. With the current business scenario and the trend of buying in consumers, it’s hard to be the one to change them unless you change the way that you are still capable to get your market share. Otherwise, you will be lost cos nobody is waiting for you. Nobody has the time to wait for you. The competitive one will adapt to new kinds of business or products to ensure that they are still in the market. They won’t wait for the stars to fall from the sky cos that’s not gonna happen.

Suddenly you wonder why some people can survive even when you thought these people might not make it in the long run when you first learn about them. Deep inside you, you believe that you are still better than them although you look like you can’t hardly survive. You know what, stop being cocky and think too high of yourself. In the critical times when you survive or die, you know that these survivors don’t just accidentally survive. They have “a weapon” and a strength that you don’t. Now maybe it’s time to learn from them. And low yourself a bit. Maybe you are just too full of yourself. Accept it that you are no longer the superior or maybe who cares who is the superior. You don’t have to do it the sophisticated way. You need to survive. You ask me is to survive enough? In case you answer No, tell you what, before you can aim higher than that, this survival is crucial. Survive it :)

RM50 Richer or Poorer?

Last nite, I went to purchase this colour laser printer with a shocking price of RM749. Then when I was waiting to pay at the counter, a tall man carrying his kid was also about to make a payment. I thought that the cashier was punching my item cos the she mentioned the price of RM 7** but she was staring at the man. “Oh, so it wasn’t mine”, I thought. And then I saw another big box of the same exact printer that I bought was held by someone else. Then I saw mine was not far from it. So I got the idea that the man also bought the same printer. So they went off. When it was my turn to make the payment, the cashiers paused. “How come this one is cheaper and the other just now? Just now it was RM799.” Since that the cashier only keys in the price according to the bill written by the salesman who is serving a particular customer, so the 2 cashiers couldn’t help but notice the different since that the customer just before me also bought the same thing. The bills written by their two different salesmen on a same type of item is RM50 away from each other.

Then they looked at each other, wondering…”Who made the mistake?” I just looked at their little drama. Hehehe. But according to the special offer price, it was RM749. So I don’t have to worry if they gonna charge me the same price like the man, which was RM50 more expensive. The salesgirl who made the mistake explained her mistake which was not intentional. The thing is, the customer didn’t bother and just paid the amount. Yes, it was cheap for that best-selling printer. Anyone who bought it at the old price (RM1100) would think any price below RM1k is cheap. I’m wondering, if he learns that he could have it cheaper by RM50, would he complain? I think he would.

So when I made the payment, the cashier told me, “You’re lucky, you know. Everyone else before you paid RM799 for this printer.” Do you guys know what I replied, “Actually it wasn’t me who is lucky, but it’s them who are unlucky.” Hehehehehehe. Then the cashier said, “Shssss…diam2”. Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha

If I compare myself with the man, I feel like I’m RM50 richer than him. But actually, it’s not so. Because I paid the real price of the printer. It’s just pity that he doesn’t check for the price properly cos that contributes to the fact that…I’m not RM50 richer, but it’s him who is RM50 poorer.

Note: Never think that the salesmen are doing it right all the time. You never know when they make the smallest mistake, small enough for you to detect. RM5 doesn’t sound like much, but I’m sure you still don’t want to be RM5 poorer because of anybody’s mistake (including you), and now we are talking about RM50. Be extra alert next time. It’s okay to be a little whiny like that irritating [256]. (Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha) But at least I got the price right…hell, I don’t have RM50 to lose for a careless mistake.

:P (Hehehe)

Are You A Big-Hearted Donor?

Do you know how to measure the price of one’s sweat?

I’m not used to “giving price” to one’s sweat, that’s why I always ask, “How much do you ask for if I ask for your favour?” The main reason I ask is so I know how much the person is expecting so that I know how much I’m going to pay. It’s like a fair trade. But there are times when the people you ask for favour from are not bold enough to name the price. They tend to say, “It’s Up To You.” Or “Ikut kau saja”

Doii!! Punyalah sia nda suka bila orang cakap macam tu. I actually prefer it to be professional. I ask for your favour, I should pay a certain price that you think equivalent for the task that you do for me. So lately I needed a lot of work to be done. I needed a lot of people to do tasks for me. It’s even harder when your family members offer to do the job – and usually if you pay them, they will feel embarrassed to accept the money. Of course usually we prefer our family or relatives do the job for us thinking that we could save money because they won’t ask you as much as the what other people would. But if this is what you’re after, you might be wrong cos sometimes you could end up paying more, thinking that you have to be compassionate with your family members. “Jangan terlampau berkira sama sodara sendiri” orang cakap. Hehehe. Well, what do you say?

Tomorrow I’m going to ask for some “helping hands” to move my stuff to my new workplace. So I asked my mom just now, how much should I pay these guys?

My mom said, RM 50 sounds like a good amount. I asked, “Tidak terlampau banyak ka tu?” Cos all they need to do it lift the furniture downstairs, that’s all! Then my mom said, “Kira macam kau tulung2 juga ba dorang tu. Lain kali besar hati dorang mau tulung kalau ada apa2.” Then I was thinking – I thought that RM50 was too big for the task. But the same guys helped me before, I actually gave them RM 100 for helping me to move my stuff into another room and to disconnect the electrical appliances. “Sepa suruh kau kasi banyak sebelum ni,” said my mom. Then I went pening sekejap. For tomorrow, the job is much easier. I thought that it is a large amount for them, and it won’t be so much task for them because lifting the heavy furniture is just nothing to them. But I spare them compassions knowing that it would be a big amount for them and it would mean so much to them because money doesn't come easy. Like my mom always say, “Macam sedekah juga ba tu.” But then, look at me, am I in the position to be a big-hearted donor? Now that I will need to use a lot of money to arrange things since I move to a new workplace, is this the time to be generous? Hahaahahaha.

I agree with my mom that it would mean a lot for the people if I can be a little generous to them. I know that it’s gonna make them happy. I know that God will be happy too. But what I have in my mind is I should be in a very good financial situation before it’s proper for me to “donate”. Erks. But the question is, is it just an excuse? Will there be a time when we have Enough to share a little portion of what we have with others? Or are the people who use this excuse are just plain stingy? Like so kedekut like Haji Bakhil? *Lols

I remember having my brunch at a nearby restaurant. It has been many mornings that I eat there. Biasanya akan ada ni apek tua yang datang dari meja ke meja untuk minta derma. Macam sudah jadi satu jadual untuk dia yang dia akan datang restoren tu setiap jam sebab biasanya dalam tempoh tu memang orang yg duduk di meja tu sudah bertukar. Awal2 tu, memang sia tidak akan bagi. Sebab masa sia mula selalu datang makan di sana, sia sentiasa pikir my problems so memang sia rasa yang sia sendiri pun lebih banyak problem daripada tu apek. *Lols. So maybe kebanyakan orang di sana pun pikir mcm sia cos jarang yg mau bagi. That apek memang sedikit disabled dan dia memang sudah tua. So adakah orang2 di sana memang ada cukup2 duit untuk bayar makanan saja, or dorang rasa tu apek malas berusaha or dorang takut tu apek akan sentiasa minta dengan dorang bila dorang bagi sekali? Ahaa… macam2 sebab.

But until one morning. Hati sia hepi sikit. Sia tengok keliling. Sia cari itu apek. “Mana tu apek ah?” Hahaahahahaha. Then betul2 panjang umur dia. Nda lama tu, dia datang lagi dan mula lah pegi dari satu meja ke satu meja. Yang funnynya, oleh kerana mood sia bagus tu hari, sia memang mau derma sama ni apek. So lucu juga sia rasa cos biarpun dia sedang menuju ke arah meja sia, dari jauh lagi sia ready untuk bagi dia. Itu apek pun takajut tu kali sebab “uii…bersemangat jua ni urg mau kasi derma,” dalam hati tu apek. Hahaahahahahahahahaha.

Pernah juga dulu. Masa sia keluar lepak dengan kawan2 sia. Ada ni org pekak/bisu yang datang and jual that red bean yg ada tulisan, dorang minta RM5 untuk setiap tu. It’s like menderma and get a gift. Tapi ganjil pula kan sebab dorang yg tentukan jumlah derma tu. Heheehe. So masa tu sia terus kasi keluar duit and bagi. Dalam hati sia, “Dapat berkat juga ba tu.” But then, my friends mcm sembunyi expressi terkejut dorang. Maybe dorang pikir yg, ndakkanlah si [256] nda pandai pikir yg dorg tu semua lengkap anggota badan, cuma bisu dan pekak saja. Tapi kejanya cuma minta derma. Tangan dorang buli buat byk keja yang layak untuk dorang digaji. Then…the question is…

Adakah kejadian “memberi derma” tu adalah berpandukan kepada keikhlasan tangan yang memberi atau “kelayakan” orang yg menerima derma tu?

Bagi sia, biarpun sia tau org tu sangat susah dan layak menerima derma, tapi kalau sia sendiri pun rasa diri sia sendiri pun tidak berkemampuan untuk bagi apa2, still I don’t give. Tapi kalau rasa diri berkemampuan, biarpun orang tu bukannya susah sangat, tetap ringan juga tangan memberi. Pokoknya, memang bagus dapat share something dengan orang dan buat dorang senyum. Kalau rezeki kita murah, inilah masanya bila kita tidak payah berkira berapa yang kita mampu bagi dengan orang sebab kita nda tau bahawa apa yang kita bagi tu mungkin dapat menyelamatkan satu nyawa atau menyebabkan kebahagiaan dan kegembiraan. Mungkin kita tidak tau pun yang ada orang bersyukur dalam doa dorang “for sending me an angel” dan angel itu adalah kamu. Pikir punya pikir, like my mom said…itu harta bukan bawa pigi dunia sebelah. Kalau mampu, share2 la dengan mereka yang kurang bernasib baik :) Sepa tau, esok lusa, masa kamu pula :)

Note: Mudah-mudahan Tuhan kasi banyak rezeki boleh share2 dengan orang yg baik hati...and hopefully dorang get inspired by it and dorang pun akan share2 juga dengan orang lain bila dorang senang nanti :)

Hutang Oh Hutang!!

Tersebut la kisah si “Kaki Hutang” yang tidak perlu berhutang, tetapi mau juga berhutang gara2 “tidak senang duduk” kalau tidak berhutang. Gaji dia RM3000, tulak hutang kereta dan rumah, ada lagi RM1000 untuk belanja harian. Cukup ka tidak? Kalau dia cakap, “Tidak cukup”, mesti kita mau tanya kenapa tidak cukup kan? Then rupanya ceritanya begini. Dia sudah set setiap bulan mesti beli 5 baju baru, 3 kasut baru. Lain2 tu belakang cerita. Nah…sepa sangka satu bulan tu banyak pula dia kena attend majlis birthday atau kawin. Terbang beberapa ratus. Tapi itu baju dan kasut tidak buli kana kacau tu. And then hari2 mau makan restoren. Mau masak sendiri ni “alahh malas la”. “Gaji sia RM3000 satu bulan ba. Sia hutang setakat RM500 pun buli bayar ba tu.” Jangan saja aktiviti perbelanjaan dia tu dikurangkan – “ala…Buli hutang ba. Apa susah.” Jadi setiap bulan, mesti dia ada hutang something. Dia rasa RUGI kalau tidak hutang, sebab kalau dia hutang, dia boleh belanja lebih sikit. Ui..Hutang tu extra money baituu geng… If you dapat hutang lagi banyak, lagi la u boleh pok makan buffet di hotel 5 bintang. Hidup mesti gumbira ba, bilang tu odu2. Hehehehe.

Itu sudah kira ketagihan berhutang. Aha…tapi itu bukanlah yang paling teruk. Cos orang yg berhutang, and then jenis yang “ada idung” (*lols) then mesti dia mau bayar. Lagipun gaji dia cukup untuk bayar. Mungkin dia memang suka berhutang, tapi dia sudah calculate semua, then still enough to pay hutang tu next gaji. Paling2 pun orang meluat ja tengok muka seposen dia tu minta pinjam duit gara2 “Sia mau pi restoren seafood malam ni”. Biarpun kau sakit ati tinguk keborosan nda bertempat dia tu, at least kau tau dia boleh bayar. Ok fine. But ada lagi satu yang betul2 bikin meradang tahap dewa dewi. Dia tidak mampu bayar, tapi dia tetap mau hutang di sana sini – dan reason dia mau hutang tu adalah reason2 yang membuatkan darah kamurang mendidih. For example dia mau pi main slot machine, paling2 pun RM1000, dengan harapan, “Sepa tau sia buli dapat RM3000 balik?” Tapi kalau nda dapat camana? Or dia mau pinjam sebab dia mau beli blackberry untuk gf dia, sedangkan you sendiri; iaitu orang yg kasi pinjam dia duit, pun pakai tu handphone polyphonic ja. Doiiiiiii…? Do you guys sense something Really Wrong ka?

Then macamana kalau sia cakap yg manusia ni ada satu sikap yang sangat membencikan bila part mau bayar hutang yang they have to take the money from their wallet and bayar kepada si pemiutang tu – dorang suddenly rasa tangan dorang berat betul – hati dorang tu lagi la berat. Alang2… “Alaaa…malas la mau bayar!! Bikin abis duit ja oo mau bayar2 hutang lagi!!” (Hahahaahahahahahahaha bijak betul kepala otak that pokemon kan). Yaa, sadly, inilah sifat manusia when it comes to membayar hutang. Anggap sajalah yang setiap daripada kita ada sifat ni. Tapi kalau hati kita cukup baik dan penuh kesedaran, ada yang mampu lawan sifat tu then akhirnya jadilah seorang yang tidak didendami oleh c pemiutang. Susah macamana pun, hutang mesti dibayar!

Kalau sia suruh setiap daripada kita LAWAN itu sifat buruk yang liat mau membayar hutang tu, mampukah sia? Memang tidak mampu. Sebab manusia ni baik hinggalah sampai ke hal duit, keluar tanduk dan taringnya. Tiba2 tu nilai2 murni, ditaruh di pisuk2. Aiyooo manyak lugii wooo mau bayar itu hutangg! (/me pingsan tawa.)

Sia teringat tu pelakon veteran Aziz Satar, share secret dia awet muda, boleh kawin baru lagi di usia 70-an. Dia ada sebut – “Jangan berhutang”. Memang menarik juga sebab sebelum tu, sia tidak pernah terpikir yang perihal “hutang2” ni pun menyumbang kepada awet muda. Sepa sangka kan? Pikir punya pikir…memang betul Hutang ni sebenarnya menyumbang kepada banyak toksik dalam badan kita. Sebab hutang ni bukan kita rasa bimbang, takut, tidak senang hati dan wajah asyik berkerut. Gara2 hutang, saudara pun tidak bertegur sapa. Jadi wujudkah sebarang penawar kepada masalah ini?

Penawarnya – Ada beberapa yang disyorkan oleh tok guru pokemon ntah dari mana tu. Dia cakap macam ni…Penawarnya tu bergantung kepada kesesuaian masing2.

1. Berbelanja mengikut kemampuan. Biarpun kau target mesti beli 5 baju dan 3 kasut setiap bulan, tapi kalau kau kena berbelanja lebih untuk hal lain, kau kena juga lupakan target kau untuk bermewah-mewah dengan baju dan kasut tu. Else, u sudah resistant kepada penawar ini. Sampai bila asyik berhutang saja.

2. Jangan bergantung kepada orang lain – Percaya atau tidak, mungkin inilah masalahnya. Setiap masalah ada jalan penyelesaian. Kalau sentiasa tarik orang lain dalam masalah kita, memang kita akan terlibat dengan hutang yang tidak sihat. How? Sikit2 susah, mesti cari si polan…pas tu, tidak pandai bayar pula. Kalau sudah dari mula kamu tidak mau susahkan orang lain, automatik you akan elakkan diri daripada membuat aktiviti yang menyusahkan dan Sekiranya u dilanda masalah kewangan yang boleh ditangguh atau dibatal, u akan susahkan diri u dulu before you sampai hati susahkan orang lain. So in the long run, u akan save banyak benda. All you need to do now is Be Responsible dengan tindakan sendiri dan don’t drag innocent people into your mess and rely on their money.

3. Elakkan daripada memberi hutang! – Ya ini adalah satu petua. You sudah tau perangai manusia ni macamana. If you want to jaga hubungan baik antara kamu, kalau boleh jangan masukkan hal perkiraan duit. U must understand that maybe your friend is not a bad person, but anggaplah you yang mendorong sikap buruk semulajadi manusia yang liat mau membayar hutang dengan “memanjakan” dorang dengan memberi hutang. If you ni adalah si Kaya Raya, you bagi saja la duit tu. Tapi kalau sendiri pun masih lagi mengira bintang di langit, bagus u elakkan problem dari awal lagi. Help your friend to be responsible dengan life and decision dia – Trust me, dia akan belajar untuk lebih bijak next time if dia tau yang u tidak akan senang2 backup dia. If not, you pun silap2 makan hati berulam jantung bila teringatkan hutang dia everytime nampak muka dia.

4. Langsaikan semua hutang kamurang!!!!!!!!! (*Lols)

Ambillah mana2 dari 4 penawar tu nescaya hidup kita tidak dibebani hutang yang nda berkesudahan. Kalau boleh, jangan jadikan berhutang tu hobby masa lapang kamurang. ELAKKAN daripada berhutang- kasi tebal sikit tu muka. So automatik kamu pun simpan duit sikit2 sebelum berpikir mau beli gift yang special for your loved ones – jangan pula mau spend orang makan pun pakai hutang. Masing2 ada masalah. Kesiankan la dengan keluarga yang ada masalah mau dijaga, and u dengan hal remeh temeh pun mau menambahkan pening dorang. Mungkin hutang asset tu tidak boleh dielak, tapi sekurang-kurangnya cabaran kepada diri kita untuk tidak mau dibebani hutang supaya senyuman di wajah tu original punya. Sepa la tau umur kita panjang, umur 70 tahun, 80 tahun pun masih lagi muda belia. Rupa-rupanya, hati yang senang tu cuma semudah “tidak berhutang”. Apa macam? Buli ka?

NOTE: 256 <-- Cuba sedaya upaya tapi kalau TERhutang juga, kasi ringan tu tangan mau bayar. Jan buat2 lupa sana ahh… *Lols

P/S: Sia totally thankful that sia teda bebanan study loan ba. Whooa bukan sikit tu geng… u guys ble bikin kawin dua kali wooo… Hahahahaahahahahahahahaha.

Stepping On Someone...Anyone?

Since 2 years ago, I put this as my mission. I won’t trouble anyone on my way to my dreams. Tell me I’m greedy. But I just want to claim the victory alone. Yeah, but semua org akan dapat kesenangan. Sia dapat what I want, and dorang pula tidak perlu disusahkan dalam proses itu. I mean, apalah guna membina satu istana di atas peluh orang lain? That’s the point. Sia cabar diri sia sampai ke tahap itu supaya JANGAN sampai orang lain yg susah gara2 sia mau capai impian sia. Kalau nda, teda guna sia pegi sekolah bertahun-tahun. Apa yang sia dapat? At least tunjukkan la yang kau memang sudah jadi orang yang betul2 orang. Ada otak mau pikir.

I still remember about a year ago, ada this office mau buka dekat dengan tempat kerja sia. The guy yang in-charged ni bukan main lagi – lukis pelan renovation, pakai software canggih2 and then bila start talking with me – dia jack2 dia punya boss yang kununnya ambil business bukan alang2. Semua paling kurang pun puluh2 ribu. Ok fine, good for them. Tapi satu kali dia mau call boss dia, dia tanya, “Eh, teda kredit o, buli pinjam telefon kau? Please la, penting ni. Kejap ja” Tekejut sia kejap. Cakap sampai ke negeri China sudah jauhnya, tapi rupanya mau call boss dia pun kena pinjam my phone. But ndapa, maybe dia mau jimat masa. Hehehe. And then, pelan yang canggih2 tu, bawa laptop canggih depan2 sia…Kasi tinguk how itu software boleh buat 3d punya renovation plan. Lepas tu, “Ala, sia mau print ba ni tapi teda printer kami. Boleh kau tulung print?” Benda2 kecil begitu sia tidak patut berkira la ba kan, but sia rasa “geli hati” sebab “something is not right” but I didn’t know what it was. Tidak apa, sia tell myself yang apa salahnya tolong menolong, lagipun dorang gonna be my neighbour juga. And then masa perabot sampai, that office masih renovation, teda tempat simpan tu perabot semua. That guy masuk my place and ukur…”I think macam muat tu perabot semua kami simpan sini sementara.” Sia tinguk ja that guy dengan no emotion. Dengan tiba2 sia rasa dia sudah menamakan diri dia sebagai sia punya rakan kongsi or anyone yang ada hak ke atas tempat kerja sia tu. Sia tidak tau mau ketawa ka, mau maki dia ka, or mau halau dia keluar. (Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha) I mean, sia betul2 tidak tau how to react sama ni stranger yang sia baru kenal beberapa hari itupun pasal dia yang selalu pegi menyibuk minta macam2. Sia cuma boleh geleng kepala ja tinguk. Dengan umur yang jauh lebih senior dari sia – sia nampak dia macam budak kecil yang belum berapa kenal dunia sebenar. Tapi ndapa. Sia tidak judge dia begitu cepat. I don’t think a guy that senior boleh jadi begitu naïve dan tidak pakai akal. And then, tidak cukup dengan tu, contractor yang buat kerja di ofis dorang tu, tidak ada kerusi. Then, “[256], buli pinjam kerusi extra kau? Kasi ja berapa yang kau ada.” (/me tahan geli hati). Ok, fine, sia kasi jugalah. And then tidak pandai kasi balik. Pun sia tidak complain. Banyak lagi benda lain sia mau buat selain daripada mau jaga itu kerusi. Tidak cukup dengan tu, hari2 mesti datang my place, untuk tengok – “Apa lagi sia buli pinjam dari kau ni ah?”

(HAHHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA)

Bila benda tu sudah keterlaluan, barulah sia terpikir. “This is TOO MUCH!!!!” Masa tu I think I have the right to be angry. Dulu masa tempat keja sia ni masih kosong dan baru mau move in, sepa berani cakap yang sia pernah susahkan dorang? Biarpun barang kecil2 mcm screwdriver or paku – semakin kecil semakin la sia mampu untuk beli sendiri. Even tukul, or whatever yang sia perlu – Jangan harap sia ada masa pegi tanya orang lagi sama ada dorang ada atau tidak tu alat. If you want telefon line, you pegi Telekom and register. If you want fax, buy a fax machine. Does it take a genius? Kita ni bukan di asrama or di sekolah lagi – semua benda u berharap sama orang sebelah katil or sebelah locker you. Cabaran dunia ni terlalu banyak – but kecil2 mcm tu pun u tidak boleh handle, apa lagi u boleh handle?

Ini yang sia rasa lucu dengan sikap segelintir manusia yang mau capai Utopia dengan memijak belakang orang lain. This isn’t about “Oh, kamu ni ambil masa sia ja, sikit2 mau minta tulung” or “Kamu nda buli beli sendiri ka tu benda. Murah ja ba tu” It isn’t about that. This is about ATTITUDE yg suka bergantung dan menyusahkan orang. If orang ada attitude begini, kalau dia buli suruh kamu tuang tu air minum pegi mulut dia, dia akan suruh!!! People like this find pleasure in being dependent dengan orang lain. Dorang tidak mau susah lebih sikit, or tidak mau usaha lebih sikit – kalau ada yang boleh disusahkan dulu, susahkah orang tu dulu, kalau betul2 tidak dapat, barulah TERPAKSA susahkan diri sendiri. Tapi impian mau jadi company yang berprestij. Sepa sangka, even pensel pemadam pun pinjam sebelah ofis. ATTITUDE ini betul2 tidak ngam. Sampaikan sia dekat2 mau teriak that guy, “Alang2 sudah kamu pinjam semua dan buat mcm rumah sendiri, are you sure you don’t want my job ka?” (HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA)

Sia cakap ni bukan suka2. Sia pun pernah kena cuci telinga cos sia pun pernah jadi mcm dorang dulu. “[256], u tidak boleh terlalu bergantung. Ini cuma cabaran kecil saja pun u tidak boleh handle? Ada betimbun lagi cabaran di luar sana.” Masa tu sia betul2 tertampar, but still sia tidak paham. NOW I understand sebab sia sudah sahut cabaran tu supaya jangan sampai ada orang yang berani lecture sia begitu lagi. Cukup satu kali malu. Bila u simpan impian mau jadi businessman yang berjaya, u mesti berani invest ba kan? U ada RM10 tapi mau make itu jadi RM1 million ka – dengan – “Alaa, apa2 hal semua buli minta pinjam ba tu sepa2 yang ada”. Doiii…sampai bila juga kamu mau mcm tu? Berpada-pada la ba sikit. Sia tidak kisah kalau ada satu kali u guys take advantage of my kindness, tapi sia kesian sama u guys in the long run kalau u tidak ubah. Cos sia cuma susah sekali saja kerana kamu, tapi kamu akan susah sampailah kamu sedar dan berubah!!

I know, in my situation sekarang, I have friends yang TRYING to use me untuk memudahkan diri sendiri. They do it courteously la juga…tidak mau terlalu ketara. But U THINK I’M STUPID ka? Kalau kawan2 lama sia or my relatives or family members tu lain cerita. We have “blood issues” with them, kita jangan terlalu berkira. But ini orang2 yang baru kenal sikit, sudah pikir “How to use her to get what I want?” Haa, u guys nampak my face smiling sweetly 24 jam u think u can step on me? Sometimes I enjoy it yang people judge us on first impression. Nampak sia ni nice sikit, mulalah naik minyak. Again – if you tidak ubah your approach…you won’t get there. Cos sooner or later people will get so sick and tired of being your stepping stone. It’s obvious that you guys belum nampak reality kehidupan ni. Orang lain teda masa mau rely on orang lain. Kalau buli buat tu bangunan KLCC dengan tangan sendiri, dorang sanggup buat. Cos orang yg ada mission teda masa mau tunggu orang lain untuk provide semua benda untuk kesenangan dorang. Sebab kalau bergantung dengan orang, itu orang terajun paya pun u pun terpaksa ikut sebab terlampau malas dan tidak mau berusaha. Ask yourself, Sampai bila???

The Burden Of HiGH TasTE

Is [256] a High-Taste person? Interesting question. I have one guy friend who thought I was some High-class lady, who wears expensive things. Yup, he told me that. I forgot to deny it because he’s wrong. I wear what looks nice on me. They can be cheap, but when something looks nice on you, sometimes it can look expensive. I told you guys a story before that I wore this average pair of un-branded jeans and this friend of mine, who belongs to that “Victims of brands” category, thought I was wearing a pair of expensive Levis jeans? The secret is the good cutting, and nice blue colour and how you pair it with a shirt that make the jeans even more appealing. I want to ask these 2 questions.

1. Isn’t it being High in Taste is for people to see that you look Better than those who have taste not as high as you? What if you spend so much and still don’t look as good as other people who spend very little?

2. Or Is it just for Personal satisfaction that you are happy if you’re wearing a very expensive socks even if nobody knows it? I mean, people might think you are wearing the same Cheap socks like them, Nobody appreciates that you spend so much money on your socks, but as long as you know that you’re spending so much on the socks, you feel happy, and that’s about it? Is that true?

I mean, Is High Taste is dedicated for your own satisfaction or Is it just for the intention of Showing Off?

I had a long chat with a lady yesterday. She’s one sophisticated lady. How she dressed, her hairstyle and even her handbag, Enough for me to see that She’s very high in taste. But she can’t run away from economic slowdown from last year so it affects her spending. She used to drive a BMW car and she told me she has to give away the car because she couldn’t stand the maintenance that cost her up to RM20k. Okay fine. Because she didn’t foresee that she has to give away the BMW, she has given her Honda Jazz to her brother so she’s left with nothing. She has to borrow Malaysia-made cars belong to her other family members and she said, Damn…driving Malaysia-made cars are really bothersome. She complained that she’s considered in dangerous financial level because the income that she makes is only enough to cover the normal monthly spending. “I couldn’t stand keeping that Beamer anymore. I don’t mind about the monthly installment that cost me more than RM2k, but it’s the maintenance that is really sucking my blood.” Fine, that’s wise to think that way. Now she’s thinking of buying a new car. What car? She said to me, “Anything but Malaysia cars.” Ouch!

People know that she used to drive a Beamer before, what…”Can they accept seeing me driving a Viva now?” It’s more than just Malaysia cars suck. It’s more than that. It’s about Status. Even when people noticed that the Beamer is nowhere to be seen, her neighbours been asking, “Eh, where’s your BM?” She answered, “I want to look for a better car, so I sell the car.” That’s what she said. She told me she had to say something like that because she doesn’t want these people “clapping hands” to see her downfall. Ouch? Yes, that’s how far she took that matter. She might be almost broke and all, but this is about Saving Face. As she was talking, I nodded because I understand her situation. Speaking of a new car, I suggest her a few imported cars like Toyota Vios, Altis that are becoming quite common here – she said, those are quite cheap. I’m thinking of another Honda. If I used to pay RM2k for the installment before, RM1k shouldn’t sound too much for me. But I said, “But you also have to consider the maintenance and parts.” She said, “Yes, but it can never get more than BMW. If Malaysia cars, the service cost is RM50, and for imported cars like Honda, it’RM300, still far cheaper than RM20 k right?” (Hahahahaahahahahahaha…Suddenly something is tickling me.)

Wowww…isn’t that TIRING? You have to go extra mile trying to decide what’s best to buy because it’s more than just What’s economical, and What’s cute, and What’s comfortable – suddenly all the other issues come out to the surface. It’s not even what is Cheap and reasonable. It’s about – what’s maximum she can get with what she is making monthly. I mean, to me, that’s Very Tiresome!!

This lady is totally my opposite. I’m nothing like her. I don’t worry about what people think whether or not my purse is thick. In most cases, I actually prefer people think that I am as ordinary as possible. I mean, I DON’T CARE!! I only care about my own heart. If I’m happy, you can’t exchange it with even if you have a Lamborghini. So what? I think that if you wear flashy expensive things, you will only draw so much attention, and some people enjoy that kind of attention. As for me, I DON’T. I repeat, I DON’T. I just want to have a happy and peaceful life, being able to do what I like and maybe make my loved ones happy with what I can offer– and just enjoy life in its most original form. This post makes me thinking that sometimes we have to look at other people to be even grateful with ourselves.

Anyway, I don’t think to be high in taste is their fault, however, I am just grateful that I am not one of them :)

"Operasi Gold-Digging"

Perempuan2 yang suka mengikis harta ni dipanggil Gold-digger kan? Ahaa…then activity pengikisan harta tu bolehlah digelar sebagai Operasi Gold-Digging… Hehehehe. Suka ati dia ja buat nama operasi. *Lols

Dengar cerita2 artis2 kawin VIP ni…macam satu trend pula. Entah dorang sempat ka bercinta dan menyelami hati budi masing2. Or just “Sia kasi kau begitu begini…Kau sanggup jadi bini sia kah?”

Sia mau sebut nama pun, sia nda sampai hati pula mau sebar gossip yang memang betul. That artis kawin diam2 dengan Datuk, and tup tap…mau cerai sudah. Sampat la juga dia ada rumah ½ juta di KL biarpun teda anak. Nah, nda berbaloikah? Kawin paling2 lama pun setahun dua, and then, bila cerai, umur masih muda, teda anak, ada duit, ada harta… Then what? Ahaa…Of course sekarang dia main petik jari saja mau lelaki muda mana satu dia mau…Di zaman sekarang yang ramai lelaki yg suka tumpang duit perempuan, memang lagilah buat janda2 muda yang kaya-raya ni macam Pisang goreng Panas!

Memang mudah untuk kita judge dorang ni. Mata duitan lah, pisau cukur lah, materialistic la…Memang mudah mau mengecam dorang ni dengan macam2 tuduhan. Sia sendiri pun kadang2 cakap lepas juga dengan perangai dorang ni. Dan kalau sia layan lagi laser mulut sia ni…sia cakap…Can’t you guys see it?

IT’S NOTHING BUT A STRATEGY ba!!

You pok satu jerung yang banyak duit, make him marry you, and entitled you to get harta sekian2, make sure at least ada satu rumah, satu kereta mewah di bawah nama you. Cash, and then lain2 asset yang u boleh buat dia taruh di bawah your name. You buat la apa yang boleh sementara itu jerung sedang khusyuk jatuh cinta sama kau. Then after semua sudah secure…you pun mula la cari pasal…

U cakap la dia tu jarang balik rumah cos usually ni jerung2 ni semua sudah berumur, ada bini lain. Lain lagi urusan kerja dia yang ke sana ke mari. Lain lagi dia pok mau cari markas baru. Pok yang gebu2. Inda dapat jadi bini pun, mistress pun jadilah. Yang penting, nikmat dunia jangan disia-siakan.

So si gold-getter ni apa lagi. Mula sudah buat hal Dia cakaplah dia rasa dia tidak dicintai la, diabaikan lah, Selalu ditinggal-tinggalkan lah…or buat la apa2 isu yang menyebabkan itu lelaki pikir dia memang tidak dapat menunaikan tanggungjawab dia sebagai husband. Buat la drama air mata sikit – make the guy rasa so guilty and bagi lagi harta2 yang boleh dibagi. And bila u rasa sudah cukup, then mula la perbesarkan lagi hal2 yang kecil. Cakap la yang you tu masih muda. Dia nda dapat berikan u nafkah batin yang sepatutnya. Then…sudah banyak sandiwara macam tu, tertekan la si lelaki ni. Kalau u berani, u minta cerai la. Kalau u tidak berani, u tunggu dia jatuhkan talak. Heheheheehhehee.

[256] <-- besinar2 sudah tanduk dia menghasut ni urg ni (HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

Nahh…kalau inilah modus operandi perempuan2 ini…apa kita mau panggil ni? Operasi apa ni? Bukan Operasi Gold Digging ka that? At the end of the day, sia mau sentuh satu hal. Memang senang kita kutuk dorang ni, tapi dari segi Strategy of Survival- dorang ni lah yang pakai otak. Mau main bersih di dunia kotor, buli pakai lagi kah? What they do is ikut trend. Kalau itu katam sudah jalan miring, u mau jadi katam yang jalan lurus buat apa? Bagus lagi u jadi pokemon la like that… (Hahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha)

[256] <--- tulung pasik mulut dia ni sebab laser betul. *Lols.

Sia tulis this post bukan untuk cuba mengutuk golongan materialistic ni, but try to see sisi kehidupan yang selalu jadi bahan kutukan. Don’t worry, sia pun pernah jadi macam kamu juga. Only recently I took my time and fikir betul2. Sia ingat apa yang sia pernah tulis.

“A GOOD LIFE IS NOT A FLUKE"

Kita tau bahawa jadi baik dan lurus tu adalah apa yang BAIK untuk dibuat. Tapi kalau mau cakap pasal kehidupan dunia ni, kadang2 value kau bukan dilihat daripada kebaikan hati kau. If you are penniless, dorang tidak tengok pun dengan u. Pedih memang pedih. Tapi kita mau object pun, memang ini lah yang berlaku. So these ladies hanya play along saja. Ada kesempatan, dorang akan ambil. Tapi buat semua org ada kesempatan yang dorang ada. Bukan semua perempuan ada peluang mau jerat tu jerung2 besar yang ada banyak harta cukup untuk kasi kemewahan sama berapa banyak perempuan yang dorang berkenan. So, kalau berada dalam posisi ini, maybe apa yang gold-diggers ni buat hanyalah menggunakan kesempatan yang ada dan gunakan akal.

My bestfriend told me. “I’m not Materialistic, I am just Realistic”. Which is true right? Everything is about money. I mean, Almost Everything. Sia pernah tengok this talkshow artist2 bercakap pasal hal ni – masa tu sia terkejut sebab terang2 menegakkan harta dan kemewahan. I still remember Azhar Sulaiman bagi pendapat dia, “It’s better that you cry in a Mercedes, than in a Kancil” That means, you mau cinta tu cinta juga, tapi you kena consider the possibilities. Daripada u pok itu lelaki2 yang teda duit, bagus u pok yang boleh bagi u kesenangan. If dia mau curang, dia lari pun, hati u sakit camana pun but you bukan kena tinggal lugai2. At least it is still BETTER than crying dengan tangan kosong.

Sia tulis post ni supaya sia sendiri pun tidak kasi penat2 kepala otak sia mau kutuk2 perempuan yg kejar kemewahan dan menggunakan strategi yang sia tulis tadi tu. Dorang yg buat begitu, dorang yang kaya dan mewah. Hati dorang gembira ka tidak, itu kita pun tidak tau. Tapi daripada hati tidak gembira, and then miskin lagi…lagilah teruk kan. Hehehe. At least if dorang ada anak, tidak la lari2 di jalanan, naik turun tangga, teriak2 macam teda mama bapa. At least orang2 yang berkaitan dengan dia pun dapat kebaikan daripada “kelicikan” dia tu. Sepa tau, dorang cuma perlu licik “sekali” ja, then dorang dapat hidup senang sampai hujung nyawa.

KESIMPULAN: Masing2 cari bahagia dengan cara masing2. Cukup la tidak menyusahkan hidup orang lain kan :) Gold-digging pun, at least merasa jua hidup kaya. Yang kita2 ni pula, jangan pula asyik mau mencari silap, sedangkan hidup sendiri melarat. Pikir2 kan la bilang si anu…ntah sepa tu. Lupa sudah sia. *Lols

Give Till It Hurts

Janganlah Memberikan Sesuatu Sebagai Hadiah Dari Kelebihan Melainkan Berikanlah Sesuatu Sampai Anda Sendiri Merasa Sakit.

I saw this line from the bulletin for the Christmas Eve mass. When I read it, I thought that it could never happen to me. I mean, Who would want to give something when it causes them pain? As a matter of fact, we would not want to give at all if we can’t afford to give something. So it’s always because We Can Afford to give then only we give. But that line is suggesting that – it’s for the sake of giving – whether or not you can afford it. Iaitu kebesaran hati untuk memberi sesuatu kepada orang lain itu yang lebih penting.

Who would have guessed that I actually felt “that pain” for this Christmas? *giggles.

Buying a gift for our loved ones is not that hard. If you have the money, you can buy anything nice. But sometimes the concerns arise are – 1. Whether or not the gift is expensive enough to make them happy? 2. If Yes, will they actually be happy to receive the gift with the amount money that we spent on it?

But I’m not doing it like what others do. I don’t believe that the more expensive the gift is, the happier they feel when they receive it. I always know that it’s not like that. The best gift that people can get from me is my handwork. If I care enough to sacrifice my time and energy, it’s the best gift that I could give.

So here is the Christmas gift story for this year. Hehehe. I was planning to make a surprise. It’s a specially designed gift for my family members. So because I was so busy with other things, I delayed my plan until the last minute. Since that I could not make the gifts ready by Christmas Eve, believe it or not, I actually went to work on Christmas Day? Ouch! Not that I didn’t respect the holiday, but it was coincident that we only have a special dinner at nite. So I had to cancel going to some Christmas invitations that I received during the day. I had to tell them, “Sorry, I have something urgent to do”. Wasn’t that painful enough? I had to cancel my chance to meet my friends and relatives and eat variety of foods just to prepare the gifts. That’s one pain to count.

And then, the office was actually closed on Christmas Day. Nobody in the whole big building actually turned up. The security guards had told everyone to not come for any purpose because it would cause them extra work to look over the building if the building was opened. But because my equipments are all there, I HAVE to come. So it’s actually another pain to see the face of the security guard in charged when he had to stay there and watch the building since I was there. I spent almost the same hours in my workplace trying to make what I planned. So even my safety was at risk. Anybody would sneak into the building and do something bad. The guard had to be alert of that too just because of me. Did I just do that? I could not believe it myself. It was for the gifts.

Then here’s another thing. I found out that my equipment failed to perform. It was really a last minute malfunction that caused me headache. I had to run to find a shop that can do it for me, but most of the shops were closed. So I found a shop, and I thought I was lucky. Still, I was not lucky enough because the shop couldn’t produce exactly the quality that I expected. The time was running out. I must get everything ready in hours. But I came to the end of my wits. I could not do anything about it. I came back to the office and paused – “What should I do now?”.

My expectation was too high and must be met. I felt so upset inside. I wanted my family to be happy to receive something special from me after the Christmas dinner. It was gonna be a big surprise that would touch their hearts because they know, the whole year I was always giving the excuse that I was busy and set aside what they asked me to do since I always give my customers the priority of my time. So I wanted to take that time to show them that finally I have time to do what they want. But after all that I did that day, things were not working smoothly for me. I felt so stressed out and upset.

I suddenly remember the line that I took from the church bulletin. “Berikanlah Sesuatu Sampai Anda Sendiri Merasa Sakit.” Maybe it was what I was feeling that time. I pushed my effort to the limit. If I just buy anything to replace that gift, that means I could only give them the second best. I really felt it how my intention of giving got the better of me. I would not settle for the second best.

Finally…though I could not prepare the special gift yet, luckily I have other smaller gifts to give them and told them I have to delay the other gift. Guess what, they did not expect anything and they were still happy even I did not give them anything.

This Christmas, I learnt something very useful about Giving.

When you are very sincere about giving something to people, you would do anything even how hard, even how difficult, just to make it happen. Even if you know people would still be happy without the gift…Even if you know you are still loved the same even if you don’t give them a gift. It’s not about THEM. It’s about YOU. Cos you want to give and then you MUST give.

At the end of the day, I found out something else.

When you give something with all your heart, the most joy happens in the heart of the ones who GIVE, and not the ones who RECEIVE.

Now I understand what it means by The Pleasure Of Giving.

If you give something till it hurts you, it represents that your giving heart is bigger than what could be defined by your wealth. As beautiful as that :)

P/S – I will have a new year gift for my beloved readers :)

Oh That's Tickling!

“I Do Care For You My Old Ones, But…”

Suddenly isu warga emas di kalangan keluarga kita ni timbul di celah-celah kesibukan orang bercakap pasal macam2 hal dunia yang nda berkesudahan selagi jantung masih berdegup.

Biasalah kita sebagai manusia, kita akan concern pasal how long we gonna live, and how healthy we are as long as we live. Yup…Hayat and Health. Semua orang tau, hidup ni cuma sementara. I remember this one line from Kyle XY, Why are you guys celebrating birthday when it’s actually another year nearer to death? Ouch. Reality bites. But inilah satu fact hidup yang nobody can deny. You can deny that this earth is actually round, but no one can deny that every living thing will eventually die. Walaupun begitu, tiada rules yang cakap bahawa kau hanya akan tinggalkan hidup ni semasa kau sudah tua. Mungkin juga ajal orang masa dia masih kecil or baru lahir, but kepada mereka yang panjang usia ni, what else can we say? Mereka sudah melalui hidup yang panjang, dan sekarang adalah tempoh dorang akan slow down cos energy dorang semakin kurang, keupayaan fizikal dorang pun semakin lemah, begitu juga dengan minda, kebolehan berkomunikasi dan berinteraksi dengan orang…semua ni akan menurun dengan banyaknya.

Siapalah yang tidak sayang dorang ni? Dorang ni mungkin boleh jadi ibu bapa kita, datuk nenek kita or saudara mara kita yang kita sayang. Menjadi warga emas is something that we will go through when we live long enough. Biarpun dorang tua, tapi kita tetap sangat sayang dengan dorang. Kita mau dorang hidup lagi panjang dan kalau buli, sampai kita tua pun kita harap dorang masih lagi hidup dan sihat.

Zaman sekarang, product health and beauty adalah product terlaris, I can say. Sebab manusia mau hidup lama, dan dorang mau preserve their youth, kalau buli, umur 60 , 70 tahun masih lagi cantik dan macho. Dan apa lagi di zaman yg banyak penyakit ni, apa saja jenis ubat yang dikatakan mujarab, semua pun orang mau try. Biar la kikis tu duit di bank. Yang penting kesihatan tu yang paling utama. Okay…then we go into the real issue. Mungkin ada di antara kita yang melalui kesukaran untuk membuat keputusan berkaitan dengan “pengorbanan” yang kita perlu buat untuk warga emas kesayangan kita.

Last nite, I received SMS from a goodfriend. “[256], cuba dulu kau check 1 juta tu ada berapa kosong?” Then sia takajut dengan SMS macam tu daripada kawan sia yang memang kerja dia adalah ajar Maths sama budak2 sekolah. Hahahahahahahaahhaha. Biar betul. Nda payah pikir2 panjang, sia SMS dia balik, “ 1 juta got 7 digits, so got 6 zeros.” Then she said to me, “Mati la sia ni!! Sia kena buat loan sebanyak 1 juta untuk menampung ubat bapa sia. Macamana sia mau buat loan begitu banyak???” Then sia takajut ni ba. Alaalalalaalala. Dia cakap abang2 dan kakak dia yang suruh dia buat tu loan sebab dia ja belum ada tanggungan. Logik kah? Then sia SMS her back. “Uii banyak ba tu. Bagus kau pikir betul2 la.” If personal loan RM100k pun, dia kena pay back more than RM1k permonth. “Betul2 I cannot plan for my own life ohh macam ni,” she said to me. Terus sia sangat simpati dengan my goodfriend tu, sebab everytime jumpa dia, dia mesti cakap orang asyik minta duit dengan dia ja. She said, “Sia sudah pun pikir masak2 ni, tapi memang ubat bapa sia tu mahal. Memang dia minum ubat tu sekarang. Kena bayar cash lagi tu.” Then sia pun timbang2 juga situasi dia, so sia tidak mau suka2 nasihat nda tentu2, then sia cakap la macam ni…

“If your heart is that big, to fund your dad punya medication, wang ringgit tu apa juga ba tu kan?”

What do you guys expect me to say? Sia tidak buli cakap sama dia yang bagus lagi dia simpan tu duit dia dan bina hidup dia, daripada dia hutang macam tu hanya untuk bayar ubat bapa dia. Apapun, sia tetap percaya, byk lagi ubat yang mampu dibeli yang boleh ubat macam2 penyakit. That's why sia rasa biarpun kita sayang dengan warga emas kita tu, kita mesti juga pakai otak. Kena realistic juga. Jangan sampai sendiri yang susah nda bertempat. Tapi macam kejam pula kan? Mentang2 la bapa dia sudah tua, then anak2 pun cakap, “Alaa…ubat macamana pun, sama juga ba tu. Tiada juga orang yg buli hidup sampai bila2.” Emmm…Reality bites.

Macam juga kes adik beradik saudara sia ni. Mom dorang ni memang tua sudah. Teda penyakit kronik, cuma sebab sudah tua, so asyik terlantar di katil and wheelchair. Dia tidak mau makan nasi or anything. Just air. Jadi memang dia jadi sangat kurus. So bila baru2 tu ada orang jual dorang ubat harga beribu-ribu – yang kununnya boleh kasi sihat apa juga jenis kesakitan pada badan, one of them ni suggest yg dorang beli ubat tu untuk mom dorang yang sudah tua tu. But yang suggest ni pun bukan mau keluar duit, dia tukang cakap ja. Yang dia harap keluar duit tu adalah abang dorang. So si abang ni mengeluhlah… “Bukan sia tidak mau beli ni ubat2 semua…tapi si mama tu sudah memang sakit tua ba. Apa ubat pun bukan buli kasi bagus dia.” Betul juga. Kadang2 kita pun serba salah orang tuduh kita ni kedekut or berkira duit, tapi kalau cakap pasal product ni, sampai tahun depan pun tidak habis cerita. Tapi ubat tu tidak akan buat mama dorang tu muda balik dan dapat balik semua hormon dan tenaga dia yang buatkan hidup dia betul2 sihat balik. Keadaan dia sekarang adalah berpunca daripada “lumrah kejadian manusia” yang akan menjadi tua selepas muda. Jadi no freaking medicine can reverse that, true or not?

If kamu dalam situasi tu, adakah kamu akan tetap berhabis wang ringgit untuk buat hati kamu tenang dan selesa bahawa “at least I’ve done everything I can” dan dengan tu, u tidak akan menyesal if warga emas tu akhirnya meninggalkan kamu. Or should we just be realistic about the reality of life that every living thing will die? So dalam keadaan hidup kita yang perlu bercongak dengan kewangan masa depan sendiri yang masih samar2, and at the same time sayang dengan warga emas yang berada di bawah tanggungjawab kita, kita cuma buat apa yang logic, spend at certain amount yang reasonable – and leave the rest to God?

I don’t know. Cakap pasal ni saja pun rasa begitu payah kan? Seolah2 ditelan mati emak, diluah mati bapa. Maybe masing2 punya kes, situasi dan penilaian kan? Mungkin betul ada kejadian alam yang kita tidak boleh stop, but maybe lagi ngam if kita tukar focus kita kepada perkara yang berada di dalam kemampuan kita. Iaitu…focus kita bukan kita mau hidup selamanya…Tapi kita mau mampu untuk jadi sebahagia mungkin selagi kita masih ada kehidupan ini. Maybe we should concentrate more on a happier life, rather than macamana make sure kita masih hidup umur 100 tahun. Come to think about it…most rational people don’t want to live that long :) They just want a happier and meaningful life. :)

Lord, bless our old ones.

"…But Do You Know What The Millionaires Are Looking For?"

I watched this Oprah show not long before. It made me laughed.

This episode discussed about “What the women look for in a man”, something like that la. So ada this lady, maybe represents the women out there yang belum jumpa Mr Right dia. The problem could be, Why dia belum jumpa lelaki idaman dia? So kes dia ni dijadikan study case.

So they asked her apa criteria lelaki idaman dia? My Gawdd… Punyalah high taste tu perempuan. Betul2 menggelikan hati. Benda2 macam tu we only speak when kita masih budak2 yang tidak tau banyak benda. Even benda2 yang kecil2 pun dia put dalam criteria dia. It’s like, combination of permintaan cliché perempuan2 di dunia ni. Semua sifat2 baik yang ada pada lelaki yg serba serbinya baik, dan menyayangi dan berkerjaya. Boleh dikatakan, perempuan ni betul2 inginkan seorang lelaki yg SEMPURNA, teda sikit pun cacat celahnya. Dia mau yg handsome, baik, penyayang, bertanggungjawab dan… tidak cukup dengan permintaan tu semua, dia mention lagi yg dia mau itu lelaki ada MILIIONAIRE… Maksudnya, sudahlah perangai teda cacat celahnya, muka pun serba serbi kacak belaka, still, SHE WANTS A MILLIONAIRE, guys…

I must take this moment to layan my ketawa kejap.

HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Doiiii?? Dia buat lawak ka apa ohh? Sukar mau dipercaya yang ada perempuan yg ada citarasa begitu tinggi. I wonder di mana dia hidup all this while. Sure ka dia hidup di bumi ni juga? Hehehehehehehe. Cos untuk seorang perempuan dewasa, sepatutnya hidup sudah ajar dia bahawa KESEMPURNAAN itu tidak wujud baaa… Doiiiii. Matai laaaaa… *Lols. (256 <-- confirm tekejut tahap gaban ni urg ni. *Lols)

So the guest speaker masa tu, who is a famous author (not famous enough for me to remember his name laa…heheheeheh :P). Lepas ja dia dengar apa perempuan tu mau, dia cakap ni…

“That would be, The Lord.”

All the audience ketawa. Memang pun lawak gila. Memang pun God saja yang begitu sempurna ba. Then dia tanya soalan ni balik, “But do you know what the millionaires are looking for?”

Hahahaahahahahahahahaaha. Kalau sia jadi tu perempuan, sia rasa sia akan feel embarrassed. Bukanlah berniat untuk make the woman feel bad, yang seolah-olah permintaan terlampau tinggi, tapi adakah dia pernah pikir sama ada dia tu actually LAYAK untuk lelaki yg sebegitu sempurna?

Looking at the lady. She’s in fact very average overweight black American woman. I mean, speaking of PERFECTION… What does she expect a rich handsome guy would want in a lady? So…maybe she has to be realistic too. But this NOT to say yang dia physically tidak layak untuk tu, but permintaan dia tidak logic ba. Biasa la cara orang respond to this…I think supermodel like Amber Chia pun tidak minta yg lebih2 macam tu.

Actually, I felt a bit odd pula. Maybe a little upset too. If ramai perempuan macam tu, ladies…MEMANG TIADA baaa lelaki macam tu. Hehehehe. If ada pun, mesti dia kaki perempuan, tidak pegi sembayang and lain2 hal. At the end of the day, you have to adjust your requirement. Semuanya happen di hati ba tu. Tidak payah pikir banyak2. Ini semua tidak boleh pakai tuu. Kau minta macam2, tapi hati kau terpikat pula dengan orang yg keluar dari criteria tu. Nahh, masa tu baru kamu tau yang mau set standard dan criteria ni semua, just a waste of time bah :)

One more thing, just to make it more fun la kunun. Inda kisah la macamana outcome dia. But ADILKAH kalau sia cakap, sia mau lelaki sebaik yang sia mampu untuk become? If sia mau dia religious, sia pun kena religious juga ba kan? If sia mau my guy to be loyal, sia pun first kena ada that quality kan? Nahh, macam ni baru ngam. Jadi now you know why sia nda akan list panjang2 tentang criteria lelaki pilihan sia, sebab I know, benda tu semua tidak valid lagi. Akhirnya sia punya deria yg akan respond to that. As long as I’m attracted to that guy, I will let the rest run its course. Sinang cerita.

*giggles.

Let's Tolerate Them Lies

Suka atau tidak, ada golongan manusia yang lebih kerap menipu or membohong, walaupun cuma white lies saja. Dorang ni sudah terlalu terbiasa dengan habit macam tu, sampaikan “just another lie” tu macam jadi makanan harian dorang. Boleh dikatakan, setiap benda yang keluar dari mulut dorang tu, mesti ada tipu2 sikit.

Kalau sekali imbas, memanglah menipu ni satu perbuatan yang tidak baik. Kita pun tidak suka orang menipu. Kita nda suka ditipu. Tapi semakin kita dewasa, semakin kita paham bahawa kalau terlampau lurus pun, payah juga. Pahit macamana pun untuk ditelan, akhirnya u guys akan setuju juga dengan sia bahawa mungkin “bercakap benar” tu bukan sentiasa solution yang terbaik untuk menyelamatkan keadaan. It’s like, “People don’t have to know the truth if it’s going to hurt them.” Something like that la.

Since I have the habit of menganalisa orang2 di sekeliling sia, instead of finding fault and call them, “A Liar”, I tried to find justification behind that habit why they lie in the first place. I know this one person, who is already a “professional liar” because he’s used to it to save himself from difficult situation. Benda ni bukan habit dari kecil. Ada orang yang pick up this habit when they are already grown up. Even bila sia dengar dia cakap di phone, even hal2 yang kecil2 pun dia mau tipu. Like, “I’m on the way sudah ni” sedangkan terang2 dia masih lagi duduk2 and not even ready to go out yet. Masa tu, heran juga. “Aiks, ndakan la hal2 macam tu pun mau tipu.” Like, if they want you to wait, they keep saying, “Kejap lagi.” But oleh kerana benda tu dicakap “Kejap lagi” berkali2, sampai juga 1 jam menunggu. But oleh kerana dorang tu pandai menipu, you pun tidak rasa u tunggu 1 jam.

Contohnya if payment lambat…Orang tu sebenarnya memang tunggu the fund untuk bayar. But once the money is there, and the person comes to make the payment, dia buat la macam2 alasan – “Ohh, lama sudah ba sia simpan ni duit ni, tapi tidak ja terjumpa kau.” Nahh, you pun tau ba dia menipu. Tapi masa tu, payment sudah dibuat, you automatically just ACCEPT saja semua alasan cover line yang dia bagi tu. Sebab you boleh teka reason sebenar, but kalau dia cakap something else yg sounds better di telinga, akhirnya kau akan izinkan saja dorang ni menipu. Yang penting, the payment sudah settle masa tu. Dan u decided to Just Forgive them for lying, sebab akhirnya you understand, they might lie to keep things in good place. Dorang lie supaya you tidak payah tau the real reason why dorang lambat, cos sama juga dorang buat that payment. The damage is already done, so lying a bit boleh mengurangkan ketegangan suasana tu.

Dan I have a few orang2 yang sia sayang pun ada gaya macam ni. Especially when they deal with me. I am quite a difficult person because I can be very demanding. When I want your attention, I expect to get it. If I don’t get it, I pout and I pull a long face. It’s just so tough to “look after” someone like me. So pada masa yang sama, orang2 ni pun ada hal masing2 juga. Dorang tidak dapat sentiasa be there for me when I need them. But at the same time, dorang mau sia tau yg dorang actually care so much for me. Biarpun dorang tidak dapat make space for me, dorang bukan sengaja. Tapi ndakan la dorang mau cakap, “Oh sorry ah 256. Sia teda masa mau layan kau ni sekarang. Ada hal yg lagi penting sia mau settle ni sekarang.” Walaupun memang itu yang sebenarnya, tapi kalau cakap terus terang, silap2 hilang kawan pula. Bagus2 hubungan dorang dengan sia, nda kan la pasal masa2 sibuk yang hanya datang sekali sekali yang menyebabkan hilang kawan kan? Apa lagi kalau terkena lagi sama orang macam si 256 yg bikin panas tuu. Hahahahaha. So, diam nda diam, sia pun actually PAHAM juga why orang2 ni terpaksa guna SKILL menipu dorang supaya dorang boleh jaga hubungan baik dengan sia. I think sia ni pun boleh read orang juga. Biarpun sia punya perangai ni sometimes macam budak2, tapi sia tidak boleh deny my maturity untuk paham how people cope with me. So bila keadaan2 mendesak, sia akan cuma pasang telinga dengar “penipuan versi terkini” dorang tu. Walaupun dalam 1 perenggan ayat tu, sia tau yang tiada satu pun yg boleh pakai, tapi sia tetap accept apa yg dorang cakap tu seolah-olah sia nda tau yg dorang tu cuma mau cover line saja. Yang penting, sia tau dorang cakap gitu sebab dorang tidak mau sia rasa kecil hati. Dorang mau yg selepas benda tu berlalu, dorang akan boleh make up for it. Actually, akhirnya sia terpaksa juga mengaku yang orang kena juga ada skill mau twist and turn the fact. Mungkin betul la apa orang cakap. It doesn’t matter what the truth is. It’s about what you believe.

Another side of life yang kita kena terima, agree or not? Hehehehe. Ironinya, kematangan ni buka mata kita untuk melihat hidup ni dengan cara yang berbeza. We will find ways to cope with life, bend our ways here and there because anggap saja la memang inilah reality kehidupan. Memang fikiran kita tau yg ada satu jalan yg lurus- tapi realitinya, jalan yg lurus itu tidak realistic or practical. Kita kena juga cunning sikit untuk menempuhi hidup ni for Survival. Maybe…it’s one way how we describe that, “Ini barulah namanya betul2 guna otak.” Dan kalau kamu berada di tempat orang yang jadi mangsa kepada “otak geliga” mereka2 ini, akhirnya kamu tidak akan jadi tarik muka masam. Kematangan akan buat kamu paham dan Tolerate saja la dengan penipuan tu semua and lemparkan senyuman yang penuh makna. Ini lah proses kematangan yg tidak boleh dijualbeli. Hanya masa yang akan reveal it to us when the times comes. So white lies untuk kebaikan bersama? Maybe adakalanya, it’s the best way to go, right? So…when I tolerate with them lies, you know it’s not because I think lying is good, but it’s that’s the best option left untuk menjaga hubungan baik sesama manusia…then why not… :)

"Nothing Comes Free"

I was about to send one of my pcs to the shop. Then I remember that my bro is always the computer genius in the family. I asked my bro if he has the time to reformat my pc, he said okay. I told my bro that, "I will pay you like what I pay the pc shop." He kept quiet. It was actually not a good thing to talk about payment when it comes to families. So I understand why he didn't want to talk about it. So just now, he did all the job to my pc. Just the simplest job that didn't take him even a freaking hour. This is just a piece of cake to him. He even solve the strangest pc problems in the whole family and relatives. In fact, my bro earned a lot of money when he worked as an apprentice at a pc shop during his college years. It was where he got all his knowledge from, considering that he didn't take computer course for his degree. But since he didn't pick that field for his serious career, my uncles usually asked him to do laptop works for them, for free. I'm sure that my bro won't talk about money. It was just improper to ask for payment, right?

But when it comes to me, it's different. I know how to value one's skills and talents. Maybe that's how much I would like people to value mine. Nothing comes free this day. I mean, if you are the one who is offering your hands to others, it's okay to put "Free", but not when you are the one who is asking for other's hands. You have no right to put Free for their service. That's my concept. So after my bro did his job with my pc, I gave him the money which I would exactly pay the pc shop. He didn't want to take it. So I just pushed the money and asked him to take it - letting him know that I don't give you this money because I think you don't have money, but this is because of you serviced my pc and I would still have to pay the same amount should anybody else does it. So, it's very simple. Family is family, but when it comes to something that need someone's professionalism, nothing comes free these days. At least, we be compassionate enough to value people's work. If you think their skills are nothing, you might as well be doing it with your own hands. As long as you need someone else's hands, their skills are never too cheap, not to mention FREE. So, you know what to do. Family or not, nothing comes free :)