How To Handle Your Lover’s Admirers?

I remember the recent talk with a customer when she said she argued with her boyfriend because she was too jealous that her boyf has many admirers. She became so agitated and started to raise issues that ended them up in arguments. I remember telling her, “Is that his fault that he has admirers?”

If you ever be in this situation that your lover has other big fans (other than you, of course), do you think it’s gonna be easy to handle it? I am not so sure myself cos I never really be in that lover’s shoes that has to deal with this. But let’s try and examine what would it feel like to be in that position. Especially when it even happens before your eyes that your lover is like “hot cakes”; a girl or a boy on demand. So is that gonna tough or what?

It’s not fair for me to advice but I can give suggestions. I think that what I told my customer was right. . When your lover has admirers, it’s not your lover’s fault. Let me tell ya a story. My own story. I remember this ex of mine who had to deal with this. I don’t know if I should blame him for being too jealous of was it me who should be blamed. I remember having this work deal with a guyfriend and it sure stole some time. I thought it was innocent cos even if we were kidding like good friends do, but to my ex the guy was trying to get my attention. I still remember that ex even had to warn me, “Strictly business, ok?!” Sometimes I thought he went overboard cos he showed it to the guy that he was pissed. I didn’t understand but somehow I thought it was logical that he felt uneasy with the encounter. But I could tell that the other guy didn’t have a hidden agenda. It WAS strictly business. So one day, when my ex just exploded and said something harsh when he couldn’t handle his jealousy. The guy asked me what went wrong with my ex, I told him – It’s normal. He’s just being too concerned like always. Then the guy said this to me. “Why act that way? What matters in the end is not me or anybody, what’s left is still the both of you, right? Why makes things difficult like this? Ask him to get over his jealousy cos it’s not gonna worth it.” He did make some sense don’t you think?

I think that this is a Test of Trust. If you trust your lover, you know your lover well, you can’t make your jealousy kill that instantly. The guy was right about one thing. These people are only temporary. They come and then they go. Their short visit might stir discomforts but remember that they are not gonna stay so don’t be silly to ruin the relationship just because you let your jealousy and suspicion overpower you. This only creates unnecessary heartache when the fact is that your lover is not at least cheating on you. Think about that.

When people say Trust is very important, I didn’t buy it. For me everyone has to earn that trust by proving it. Loving someone doesn’t mean trusting someone. But I make my fair conclusion on this. I finally find a way to agree that Trust is very important. If not, it’s like living with a ticking bomb. It makes u want to get alert all the time and just wait for the alarm that your lover is flirting behind your back. The bitter truth is, there’s no way u can carry on with a relationship if you have Trust issue with your partner. It’s better off that you guys go your own way and settle with someone who can give you that peace of mind. As for the topic above, it’s just an excuse to test your trust. If you can handle your lover’s admirers, you surely can handle many other little excuses that can make you question your lover trustworthiness. To conclude this…Your lover can have many admirers, but what matters is it’s YOU who your lover admire. :)