When I was Girl A in the past, the guy went for Girl B because he didn’t get Commitment and Security from me. Even if he thought I was excellent in other things, still guys do need security. They want to sleep well at nite knowing that the girl will still be his the next day. Not able to commit is giving them a hard time. Too much emotional roller coaster would also put the guy in a fragile mode. He got tired of dealing with jealousy everytime. Maybe when I was still too young to understand, I might just blame the guy for being a player. I thought that he must not change heart especially when I didn’t do anything wrong to deserve that from him. But maturity tells me that when Love comes, it doesn’t mean it will stay. For so many different reasons, Love would fly. So when it happened to me, I did not complain or blame Girl B. I did not tell myself that Girl B is better than me and make myself suffer even more. I told myself that might give him the thrill, but maybe he only wanted simplicity. I accept the fact that everyone wants to settle with the best they can reach and when he picked Girl B doesn’t make me lose points cos there is someone out there who might think I am the best to settle with. Sometimes things are just not meant to be. So it is not that pitiful to be Girl A. Tell yourself that your destiny is someone else and he’s out there. Just let the guy go freely.
When I was as Girl B, usually it was accidental. All started with friendship. Sometimes I didn’t even know that I was actually Girl B. I didn’t know I was interrupting and I didn’t know how far I have caused someone else’s relationship goes shaky. After learning that I was actually the third person in the picture, and if I have the same feeling towards the guy, at one point I just chose to be passive and reevaluate my situation if I should stay or not. Of course we usually care if we become “the bad girl” in this situation. I surely don’t want to be the bad girl. But if you’re interrupting a boyf-girlf relationship, your logic mind tells you that people break up everyday. It’s normal. So when you happen to be the reason why their relationship goes shaky, anything else could be that reason of that shakiness should you not be that reason itself. Just like when I become Girl A, anything could go wrong between me and my guy so we just have to accept it if it runs its course. We understand that lover relationship is still in the process of evaluation whether each other is the best person to walk the aisle with. So when something doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world. If the guy is determined that I am the person he wants to be with, and although he feels guilty towards Girl A, he still has to pick one. So if he goes with his feeling, he might pick me and if he is overcome by guilt, he might still carry on with Girl A. So to me, I don’t have a say in that anymore. If the guy picks me, I could not refuse just because I think I’d be cruel to Girl A because when it reaches that extent, things can’t never go back to normal again between them even if I’m willing to sacrifice and leave. So just like you would want to pick the best for yourself, you must understand why people would do the same so why don’t let everyone exercise their right in picking who they want to live with. Stop pointing fingers and blaming whoever in the place of Girl B. Sometimes it doesn't necessarily have to be you. The guy would still look for someone else to be Girl B when he’s not happy with Girl A anymore.
Yes, the damage is done. Someone needs to be blame. It’s easy to attack Girl B with, “If the guy can do it to Girl A, he can also do it to you. Just wait for your karma.” If you say this, means that in whatever situation, you think Girl B is always guilty. Wait until you, being that innocent, naïve and all – still finds yourself in Girl B position. The guy picks you and insists to be with you. You don’t have a bad intention. You can’t force the guy to stay with Girl A just because you want to save the situation and be the angel in disguise. Just accept this as a process of looking for a match. Why make too much fuss about it. Bottomline is, a relationship needs 2 and only 2 persons who mutually want the relationship with each other. Whoever has to leave will find a match that share the mutual feeling. Make it that simple.
As for the Guy…whether you’re a real player who can’t lay eyes on one girl only or you’re just a sincere lover who wants to settle with the one you love the most – If you create this Triangle Love, you must NOT keep it that way for a long time. You MUST dissolve this Triangle and make a choice. Cos if you can’t, no matter what your reason is, you’re automatically a greedy womanizer, which I’m sure, you have more than 1 triangle in your life. Creating a Triangle Love is already something unfavorable so something needs to be fixed if you want to prove that you DON’T intend to hurt anybody. Once this triangle is formed, at least someone MUST get hurt.
Like my friends say, sometimes the guys don’t want to make a choice cos they want to keep both. In this case, I would agree to all the bad names the girls have for the guys who are caught in this situation. There is this one case where my friend who was Girl B, got to talk to the Girl A of their own love triangle and found of that the guy was lying to both that he would leave “the other girl”. So they both felt cheated so they both dumped the guy. I would say, Serves You Right to the guy cos he’s enjoying the whole thing and technically fooling both of them. It’s obvious that the guy only wants to make some collection of girls and is not ready for a commitment – How selfish. I salute the 2 girls for making the right move by dumping him.
If you create this Love Triangle, you must be responsible and settle it the good way. This triangle must be dissolved. MUST be dissolved, I repeat. Who gets hurt from this, move on. Who gets a love tie strengthen, keep it that way as long as possible. Avoid more Love Triangle in the future cos next time it could be you who get hurt. :)
One more thing that you men should know about girls...
WE DON’T SHARE OUR MAN. You make your choice and let the other one go. Or if it’s so hard, maybe you can say bye to both. Fair enough. :)
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