"Is It Right To Like Him?"

My close cousin came to my workplace yesterday and we had a long talk. From her face, I know that something is going on.

I was right. She told me that she finds herself attracted to a guy in her workplace. The guy is…Again, a married man with 2 kids. That’s not the main problem. The main problem is, my cousin already has a steady boyfriend, about to get engaged. But since her boyfriend is staying out of town, my cousin told me that, she feel lonely and that she easily finds comforts in someone else. See that? She knows what’s going on, but she can’t help it.

She asked me about my opinion on this.

“What if the guy really into me?”

The way she said it, I saw some excitement in her face. Maybe because she spent years giving attention to one guy, and then finally she has a new fan. It is exciting, I know. Finding out that someone admires you is a wonderful thing. From her question, I know that she’s more excited to the fact that the guy might really fall for her. She told me the things that the guy did to support the possibility that this guy fancies her.

You guys know what? It kinda worrying to see her feeling the excitement for the wrong reason. Getting a new fan is exciting, but where does it take her?

I told her that getting a new fan – is not something very unusual. Single guys, married man, widowers – you name it. Anybody could get attracted to you. But how far does this matter to us? In her case, she really wants to hear me say that I think the guy really falls for her. But what’s the catch? “He’s Married.” He has nothing to lose, and nothing so good to offer to her. Ouch?

He can show you that he likes you, give you things and say things that make you laugh, but you can’t take that way too seriously. Yes, it doesn’t matter what the guy feels for her cos --- IT’S NORMAL. Temporary attraction happens all the time. My cousin is sort of letting herself getting too consumed with this. I’m not trying to sound like I’m discouraging my cousin to develop a special feeling, but since that she comes to me for opinions, I’m just doing my part. I must tell her what I really think.

She wrote it in her diary about her attraction to the new guy and her boyfriend found out about it and they almost argued. So is it worth it? To fight over a “feeling of awe” over a new fan, who is married? I told my cousin, if each of us ladies entertains these easy come easy go fans, we could get too busy to spend time for the people who really deserve our attention. My point is – It’s Not Worth It!

Actually, my cousin terbeliak biji mata juga dengar sia cakap macam tu. If she expects me to say something nice just to put a nice cover to my honest views, those days are over. Dari muka dia sia nampak “that glow” that you can see in the people who are in love. I’m happy tengok muka my cousin macam tu. Cuma that glow is for the wrong reason. Sia cakap sama dia, If you want to like someone, just entertain the feelings. Don’t hold yourself. Just that, you must know the limit. Jangan nanti apa yang ada di genggaman tu terbang, yg dikejar pun tidak dapat. Especially with married men yang memang teda masalah dengan rumahtangga dorang. Memang mau cari nahas kalau hook up dengan lelaki2 mcm ni. They are just up for the thrills of chasing a new person and once you give in, that’s how soon they say bye bye. Hey, not that they never warn you. The warning whistles, Hello? I’m married okay?

“So macamana mau kawal perasaan ni? Bukan senang ba kalau sudah tertarik.”

Sia cadangkan dia, “Jangan lupa yg kau ada boyfriend yang sudah plan mau kawin kau. I think kalau kau ingat benda tu, mungkin kau tau di mana limit kau bila berkawan dengan lelaki tu. Remember, he has nothing to lose. Di sini la kau kena guna kebijaksanaan kau. Don’t be the last one to cry.”

If you guys minat or suka dengan sesiapa pun, just go ahead saja. Have a good relationship, spread the wings of love and the positive energy. But depending on who the person is, you must know where the line to not cross because when you cross it, it will backfire you. Kesilapan or keterlanjuran – Oh sorry sia terpijak kasut kau, or Oh sorry sia tertumpah air di baju kau. Semua boleh dipulihkan dengan kemaafan. But when it comes to, “Oh sorry, sia terlanjur sudah cinta sama kau.” Ada kah benda macam tu? Kalau benda tu berlaku, bukan kau patut minta sorry dengan org tu, tapi dengan diri kau sendiri sebab sedar nda sedar, kau jadi orang yg paling kesian dalam situasi tu. Hati kau terseksa bila sedar yg situasi kau tidak membawa apa2 hasil pada diri kau. Itu masa baru kau mau cakap, “Sia Menyesal”. Kau nangis ka, kau meraung ka, sia cuma boleh tengok ja.

Sia harap, cousin sia dapat idea daripada pendapat sia. Sia cakap main ikut logik saja ba. Kalau apa yang sia cakap tu tidak logik, kau senang detect di mana silap point sia tu. But if I’m right? Sia bukan dapat apa2 juga kan? Sia pun macam kamu juga, iaitu try untuk tidak buat kesilapan yg orang lain sudah buat. Mau berapa kali orang buat silap baru kita boleh belajar dari kesilapan tu? Tidak cukup2 lagikah sia tinguk kawan2 sia nangis pasal satu kesilapan? Adakah sia perlu juga untuk rasa sendiri menangis atas kesilapan yg sama just untuk cakap, “Oh baru sia tau sakit pula kena macam ni.” Nahhhh…actually this is a lifetime battle. Decide what’s best for you :)