Are You Sure You Are Over Him?

Are you one of those who try to deny the fact that someone is still very much lingering in your heart? And in the most unfortunately case, that’s the best you can have? You can’t reach for the person with your hands. All you have are the pieces of good memories that you told people you wanted to erase but you never did?

Then the bigger question is, sometimes trying to get over your ex is harder because YOU make it harder. You refuse to GET OVER him. You want to cling to it as long as you still keep the sentimental value of the old time sake. Isn’t that stupid?

The more stupid things you can do is start dating new guys, one by one, but just ending up making them feel stupid because all they can memorise in your conversation is, your EX. You speak of no one else more than you speak of your ex. And then at the same time, faking the smile, “Oh, he’s just my ex. I’m over him.” And the guys caught you red-handed. “No 256, you’re not over him.” Face It.

As excited as you can get when new guys come into your life, it’s actually just to give the “thrill” to prove that the memories of your ex are gonna be stronger than any new crush that gonna walk into your life. Cos you leave the door open for anyone who tries to walk in to easily find the way out cos you don’t really hope they would stay longer. Something stronger matters more and it’s not likely to end anytime soon. You thought you tried. But you haven’t tried enough.

My good guyfriend told me once that he said the love that I had for my ex was true love because it was hard for me to move on. Honestly, I don’t appreciate that term “true love” to describe my situation because it doesn’t matter what the term is. When it’s over, it’s over. He actually thought that the harder it is for someone to move on, the greater the love is. What for? This is not a competition of whose love is greater, judging from the how long they take to move on. Gimme a break. We have a life to live here, people.

I don’t know if I’m doing it again or this is really IT this time. I think that I’m losing grip of the past memories. I mean, it’s just different now. I don’t feel that they are as powerful as they used to be. They don’t affect me anymore. I almost thought they are losing their meaning to me. It’s almost cruel to feel this way but it has to happen. I need it to happen. Almost pretty badly.

Suddenly I feel that I don’t mind even if I burn all the things that keep the memories of him. It doesn’t feel like it’s gonna hurt. Not anymore. Suddenly the thought of his being doesn’t even give you the tingle anymore. You’re NOT that attracted to that vision of him as you used to in the past. He’s doesn’t make the cut for the figure of someone special to you. He’s now just another guy on the street. If you pass him by, you might not even want to turn your face at him. The thoughts of him don’t even turn any switch of button that could turn you on in anyway. Now, what do you call that? Are you now finally over him?

I don’t know if I experience something like that now. I think that I found my way to give space for others to make me feel that I’m missing a lot of good things this life can offer me. I think I’m holding myself back for too long. I should go back to the arena and close the old chapter. Am I ready?

Maybe all this while, I was trying to make myself serve the sentence so that I can believe that I have received the punishment for anything wrong that I did that hurt the heart that didn’t deserve it. Maybe you guys don’t realize that you find it hard to move on because YOU FEEL GUILTY to do so. Maybe it’s not because you thought you still love the person. Yeah, maybe it’s just guilt. Now, after all said and done, I’ve done my time, can I move on now?

Read the topic again. I want so much to answer Yes. And this time, it’s for real. I’m sure. I mean, almost.