The Broken Heart That Belongs To You…

Breakups happen for a lot of reasons. You can’t just go and blame on the girl or the guy. Each must have something to contribute to the breakup. Unless it is puppy love, no one gets into a relationship just to break it off. So our perception towards “what a relationship” will differ as we age. The older we get, the closer it gets to the word Commitment. Commitment IS a very big world for relationships for the mature people. I will tell you why. 

I am no genius in this. I suck in relationships. I seriously do. I have no proven track that I have succeeded in any of my relationship. You want to know why? 

Because of the word Commitment. 

The purpose of a relationship is – to head to an exact destination of Sharing Life with each other. If your relationship is going elsewhere, then PAUSE right there. It could be a sign to call it a quit. 

I am trying to send a message. There’s no use to be in a relationship without a proper direction. It’s better off end there or you’ll spend –how many more years?- in it just to see it ends. How to know if the relationship is going somewhere? At least one of you initiates a serious talk about “the future” – going towards marriage. And the other one finds a way to share the same dream and heads for the same direction. If it’s just relationship – so beautiful yet almost questionably real – like the Hanging Park of Babylon – there got to be something else as Beautiful Yet Real outside there. 

Sometimes, breaking up is the best thing to do and to happen. It's the only way that you can look for a greener pasture. From my past experience, since that I could not get myself ready for the commitment, then it's not fair that I make my partner stay and wait for something I'm still unsure of giving. At the end of the day, we are living in reality and not fantasy. The clock won't stop ticking even how slow we are. Breaking up is still the best in order to give each of you the fair chance to look for a better new beginning. 

Recently, a friend sms-ed me and said to me her fiance wanted to call off the engagement. Then I could sense the sadness in the way she wrote the sms. I know that she was very sad. Then what do you guess I advice her? The next time she dropped by at my place, I said this to her face. 

“JUST LET HIM CALL IT OFF.” 

She was shocked that I said that. “Why you said that?” 

“It's not the end of the world, and it's not the end of both of you. If you guys are made for each other, your paths will cross again. And hopefully when that happens one day, you guys are ready for Commitments, because by then and only then, any kind of relationship would matter because by then you know where it is heading. Why be so afraid of “losing” the title of a relationship because it's not the freaking title that counts. Call it paradise, call it heaven, call it true love, dammit call it anything you like, but if it's not working, it's only a second choice to the best life that you can have. Go get that “best life”. Start with this break-up.” 

As a result, she's happier now. Why? Because she doesn't have to report to anyone when she goes out with any of her guyfriends. She's living the life that she wants. Yes, she still loves that ex-fiance of hers, but the good news is, he could still be the one she marries when the time has come. But for now, it's the best thing to be. And this thing is called -breaking up-. 

The break up Must Happen for all the good things to uncover. That's what I told her. Worried that she got hurt so much? The pain will pass. Life is too beautiful to even have the time to savour the pain that is there to make your smile sweeter. 

NOTE: My friend Dingobee, I feel sad that it was not even a month after I made a post for your birthday, and already you are tested again. But I’m glad that I told you your strong points in the birthday post for you before this thing happens because just in case you forgot, please read the post again. Yes, you’re a strong and courageous lady that inspire people like me. Don’t forget that. Be strong.