Today I found out that my friend actually "used" me for her benefit. She is planning for a trip to a nearby attraction and she wants to stay overnite, despite the fact that it's close and just two hours away from home. In the trips before this, she actually listened to others. She actually asked if it was okay. But this time, she just gives order and expects us to just agree to anything. Is that all in the name of friendship?
The thing is, she charges us a certain rate that she profits from. And I remember one trip before, she didn't even let me know, let alone invite me to join them. Reason is because she got it all free. It's like, Hey, this trip is free, we don't have to ask 256 to join. Only ask her to join if we have this massive expenses that must be shared so we don't have to pay so much.
Back then it was just an assumption but today I witness it myself how she just changes the plan to her benefit, and still be asking us to pay certain amount she is excluded to pay. There's this unspoken rules in all our trips before. It's about sharing good time and the cost is shared equally (even if some of us can actually afford to pay more, but we still prefer to go by that rules to show our equality. No one is richer or poorer. We are all even!). She broke the rule out of greed. She thought we could not read her action when it was actually obvious! Simple thing like that. I know I shouldn't snap on it like it was something big, but who likes being manipulated?
I am the type who don't like and don't expect my friends to pay for any of my expenses. I don't go and hope that someone will just be generous and save me some money. So my friends will never feel burdened by me, I know they usually appreciate it. But then I also expect the same from my friends. Knowing that it is how I treat my friends, you think it's fair when my friend saw me as this walking atm bank? Just because I don't mind paying for what's necessary, it doesn't mean I will pay for things blindly, or pretending to be. Hey, who is still that stupid you think?
So I feel a bit disturbed. But it doesn't ruin my day. It's a small thing anyway, you know that. Just that, I begin to think what is our value in our friends' eyes. Are we just valuable because they think we have money? But let me comment on that too. I told my other friend, Sia pun kais pagi makan pagi. Kais petang makan petang. I only have enough. The impression that others have on me is not my responsibility. My friends should know that all of us are earning a living by the amount of hardwork and effort. Nothing comes free. Cos if I'm not in their league, I will not be there, struggling my daily work at the same area as them. I will be somewhere else where life is more glamourous. But I'm just an average person who loves what I do. In that case, I'm considered "very rich". Rich in passion of what I do for a living.
So guess what, I exclude myself from her plan. She was a bit offended but luckily she gets to her senses and feels okay about it. So kawan2...actually memang susah mau jadi kawan yang hebat untuk semua orang. Cukup la seorang dua yang betul2 hargai kau, pun cukup. Dan kau sendiri, camana kau treat kawan2? Will you take advantage of them di masa2 dorang leka? Setakat kau untung berapa sen sangat, bagus nda payah lah. Bukan itu cara seorang kawan bah. Nda payah la mau peras baru berapa ringgit pun dari kawan. Nda ke mana juga. Friendship tu nda buli dijual beli tapi dia MAHAL. Satu kali kau kena take advantage, impact dia long run. Sampai bila2 tu trust level bukan sudah penuh. TRUST itu yg bikin friendship mahal. Yes. Pandai2 la kamu atur percaturan kamu cos kawan tu satu life necessity. Dan life bukannya panjang betul pun. Buli kali kita live the rest of our lives as a better friend. Try la kan? :)
No comments:
Post a Comment