If you have issues with the newly formed relationship, for some reason, you would feel relieved when the girl started it. You thought there must be something wrong with a relationship when the girl started it. Guys should be doing the job. Oh, think again. Or are you ladies just try to feel good when a guy you fancy is now with a relationship with a girl, who actually started approaching the guy first instead of the guy approaching her first?
Ladies, this is ancient. Or call yourself absurd if you want. Tell you what, I am wearing ancient thinking too so there’s nothing is so new about “looking at things from how it used to be.” I know that the old folks make us believe that the guy should be looking out for his mate and not otherwise. But back then, the guys went to work, the ladies stayed at home taking care of kids and households. Yeah, it was BACK THEN. Now the ladies go to work, as much as the guys and Guess what, more and more guys are staying at home and look after kids and households! So looking at this transition alone, suddenly you still feel like The Power belongs to men and only they can make decisions. Say that again. Freaking kidding me.
It took me a while to finally adapt to this actually. I remember watching this episode of “Apa2 Aje” on TV3, hosted by Sheila Rusly and Syamsul Ghau2. Sheila told her experience with her husband Jinggo. She said that she was the one who approached Jinggo. You know what was her reason? She said “Because I deserve the best guy.” She DECIDED who was best for her instead of men decide that she could be the best for them. The way she said, I saw “self-empowering” in her, that she thought she was THAT WORTHY that she should decide who she wanted to be with. Oh my, I was a bit startled listening to her. If I were a bit more immature that I was that time, I must have said something like, “I have never seen anyone speak so high of herself. Shame on her!” The way she said it, as if she thought she was that good. Oh man. Luckily I was that matured to digest it the right way and finally, Viola! I agreed with her!!
Guys should take note too. I notice sometimes guys would blame it on the girls. “Actually, she started it first.” I mean, when he tells you about his relationship that had just failed or even maybe his current girlfriend… he might just say to you that “She was the one who started it.” I tell you ladies, when a guy says this to you, give him “that stare”, especially when he is still very much in a relationship with the girl or he just broke up and still mourning over his breakup – cos you might be dealing with A COWARD and to me, only A COWARD speaks that way towards a girl who is his girlfriend or was his girlfriend. Tell you what, I won’t ask that question anymore. You know why? It’s because WHO FREAKING CARE who started it? IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO, RIGHT? RIGHT??
Aha…so a guy who tells people that it was his girlfriend who started the approach first, as if he wanted to give the impression that “OH MAN, I’M THAT HOT” and euwww she was all over me. Look, if that girl is so nothing, how could a Hot Man like you is in a relationship with her? Shame on you. It doesn’t matter if she approaches first because there’ll be NO TANGO DANCE if she dances alone. Moreover, trust me some guys are so passive and a non-mover, they actually wait for girls to approach them first. I know a few. Even my own uncle used to belong to this type. Luckily he met a pretty bold Chinese lady who would not mind making the first step and look at them, they have 3 kids now. Could u take from my uncle, “Oh she started it first. It was a pity.” Dammit…if any guy wants to speak this way, speak before u even think about wanting to go to the next level with her, Let Alone walking the aisle with her and make her bear your children!! Haiyooo…! (*Lols)
So the bold ladies out there who KNOW what they want – who go out and hunt their favourite guy…I’d say, Go for it. I don’t say that it’s right or wrong…but you know better. When you find someone so good to be your match, I think you ladies are smart enough to know that you don’t have forever to wait for him to make that step first. We have come this far, many steps ahead than what the old generation used to be – Now we are talking about the most important thing in life – that is to have a good life with someone who is right for you. Now that you are smart enough to know, I don’t see what should stop you. It’s just that, we are female, we are still female no matter what. We have face to save and we don’t force someone “to dance Tango” with us. If the guy gives the green light, ok, that’s good, go ahead. But if not, say Bye cos “Oh man, you’re so hot. Any guy would want to dance Tango with you.” *giggles. I mean, I find that boldness appealing! Hehehe.
As for me, of course I prefer the conventional way. But if I show it a little more than him, it’s okay. Maybe it’s just in the characters where the girl is more expressive and outspoken. The guy could be feeling more for her but he’s just the laid back type who doesn’t show. We are grown-ups. We try everything that might work and see if it could work. No matter who starts it, it’s still for the benefit of two people who decide to try it out together. Still, nothing is sure even if both have decided to “do the Tango”. So, it’s a wrong focus to begin with. If both of you FIND each other starting from the first step that she decided to make, You should thank her. :)
So now, do you mind to start “a battle”? It’s not about who starts it, it’s about who wins it… :)
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