I am not so sure. I’m been both the object and subject of jealousy and I know how it feels. To me, it’s never calm when Jealousy knocks your door. It’s never the same moment as before you let it in. It’s because of jealousy, couples argue and end up in tears. Sometimes it’s too much jealousy that make them broke up. In a question of relationship, Jealousy is A BIG matter. It can be a Break or Make factor in your relationship. Ouch? Break factor, I can understand. But Make factor? How’s that? In case that’s the question you have in mind.
With incidents of jealous partners you can hear everywhere, what about your partner? Is he/she jealous or not? It becomes awkward to hear anybody say No. I mean, after everything that Jealousy did to us, why is it feel so awkward having a relationship without it? I have this one senior friend who has a story to tell. She’s married for 10 years already. They have no kids but adapt a relative to be their only child. She told me her husband is NEVER JEALOUS. Or maybe he’s just good at keeping it to himself. He trusts her to go and do anything she wants. He never questions her. Even when she went out with someguyfriends, she let him know without hearing back objection or protest. That’s her husband. I remember hanging out with this friend for half a day talking about many stuff. She told me “She’s lucky” that she has a husband like that. She feels that she can get her freedom not most married women have. At one point, she feels like This Feels So Right when jealousy in not in the picture. I remember that time I was also close to a guy who was not the jealous type. Anybody in his position would have the right to feel jealous but this guy proved to be among the little group of guys who don’t get jealous easily. Yeah, I did feel awkward.
Back to my friend. Recently we talked again. Her situation is getting funnier. She starts to hangout with someone else’s husband who is also into her. Maybe because she’s so free, she thought that the freedom is TOO MUCH than she can handle. She realizes that at one point, she got a bit out of control. She realized that This is NOT what she wanted. She told me that she finally thought that too much freedom is not right. She was the last to find out that because of No-Jealousy policy, everyone in the family noticed that “her husband doesn’t care for her” at all. She was shocked when one of her in-laws even told her that, “I don’t blame u if you just walk out from this marriage. Your husband doesn’t even care about you.” Suddenly it knocked me too. I mean, I thought No Jealousy is what people want in their relationship? I used to complain having jealous boyfriends in the past. It was jealousy that suffocated me. It was jealousy that made me dress like half-sane person as I might put it. But I’m used to having jealous boyfriends. I could complain about their jealousy but I could not complain about how much they loved me. I think that Jealousy is part of the package that Love has to offer. So when I finally found a guy who never felt jealous but claimed that he loved me, I knew it that there was something wrong. I knew it. When I asked him repeatedly, “Why are you not jealous?” He always told me, “I’m not jealous doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.” I almost believed. So when something went wrong for the silliest reason, I just thought that – I was right all along.
When your guy is not jealous, that’s an indicator that he doesn’t care for you that much. If he doesn’t care for you that much, you can stop asking more serious questions than that. If that theory is not workable, wait until someone brings me the evident. Anything else, you should feel alarmed with your partner Trust you TOO MUCH cos it’s not normal when someone is never doubtful of your steps… Even if how trustworthy you are. This is not about you. Maybe you don’t worth that jealousy, but for you to show your care towards someone, Jealousy could be the first step when you first realize that you care for someone :)
Note: Over jealous is something else. Anything TOO MUCH is not good. So in fair amount, it actually make a relationship complete :)
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