A Sign From Above, But Which One?

I remember praying to God – I prayed for His guidance to guide me through. There are certain things in my life that I am not certain of doing and which way to choose. I asked for “signs” so that I know that I shouldn’t be doing certain things and what not. It’s a big dilemma actually. I read a very serious prayer for these certain things. So what do I expect now?

Earlier today was a very terrible day for me. Something was bothering my mind so severely. My mind was fed with too much negative thoughts that I thought I might burst in flame. I realize that my mind was not working the normal way. My stress level was high and I expected something like that since I’m having my PMS. I almost thought “this could be the sign” that I must back out before things get too late. That’s how I see it. On my way home, I mocked, I laughed and even ridiculed myself after everything that happened. I thought that I have made a laughable mistake. I suddenly decided to take my emotions as the signal that I must back out. Simultaneously, I have all the plans ready. What I should do next and all that stuff. Damn was I that determined. I was almost sure that this MUST be right.

Then suddenly, when I reached home, something happened. My broadband connection was down. This has something to do with what I planned to do. Never before since I first use it. So because of that, I got to nap with my heavy heart. I don’t know why I thought that this could also be a signal. I should not proceed with my evil plan. Gosh! When I got up from the nap, my head was lighter. I was not so upset anymore. I remember calling the helpline about the broadband earlier before that and I was told that it gonna be fixed by 10 PM. I got up from nap only about 9 something and the broadband was already back on. I could take that as a green light that I was at the right track for not thinking nonsense. It was only giving me a time to think it over and to not do anything that I might regret. I was so delighted because suddenly things went that way. I didn’t get to carry on my little mission because of the small interruption. I don’t know WHICH from these are the signs from above?

The first sign told me something negative. And then something stopped it. What do I expect? Did I expect that signs from God must come easily and easily seen? What if God gives me more mental tests for me to overcome and then that’s how I get the answer? Gosh this is funny. I was right about it. Why did I think that if God really answers my prayer, should He unfold things easily for me to see? Would He make it clear that I shouldn’t take certain decision, or would He make it another puzzle for me to solve? Now in front of me are a few signs that I could take as a Yes or No answer. After the prayer session, I realize that many things seem to be visible. I felt a little more, I saw a little more and I took into heart a little bit more. I see that I could pray for signals and signs for Guidance but God knows I have that wisdom to find out the answer. He provides me a way and I must walk the way on my own.

God, you’re something! *giggles.

Guide me more Lord. Help me to get back in track in case I take the wrong step. :)