Better Left Unsaid

We hear it everywhere that communication is vital. We know that it’s because of communication breakdown that people argue. Arguments that are caused by this can even lead to the breakup and wreckage. Who would deny the importance of communication between 2 people, right? It’s because of communication failure that we often misunderstand. Misunderstanding leads to bigger thing. Still, everything will be going towards destruction. So that we know communication is important, can we handle it from there?

I remember saying the same thing to many of my friends and my customers who come to me for views regarding their problems. I remember listening to each of them and decided that yes, it’s communication again. I emphasized to them to SAY IT, let their partner KNOW!! And guess what? It often worked wonders. From my counseling alone, at least I know a few of them who managed to worked out their problems by mending their communication just by SPEAKING it out and LISTENING to what their partner has to say. Little did I know that all this is ONLY EASY to say yet SO TOUGH to do. NOW I KNOW why this problem is EVERYWHERE and trust me if the solution is that simple, I wouldn’t be the first one who discover and implement it!! I mean, 100% sure on that!! What makes me think that if the solution is so easy, people are keep failing it and still trying to figure out what is the meaning of workable communication? Ouch!!

NOW I KNOW. What makes communication so hard is NOT because people don’t know that they should speak up. Not that they don’t know what to speak about. Not that people don’t give chance to the other to speak and they listen. No No. Everyone knows about all those already. What not everyone knows is that – an effective communication that you learn from books might not be taking into account your own unique circumstances which then create the issue that contribute to communication breakdown.

You know there’s a problem but you don’t want to say it. It’s not as simple as “not wanting to hurt the partner” by being frank but this is about trying to protect yourself too. I’m sure in every relationship there are issues or topics that are best not discussed. Both know that something is not right and they couldn’t force themselves to speak or ask openly because to them it might bring another version of bad atmosphere that would destroy the last remaining pieces in their relationship. They both rather keep quiet and never discuss about it and just resort to , “let time tell,” or “let it unfold in God’s mysterious plan.” Now I know how it feels. Now I know.

So couples who have the same fate know what I’m talking about. They hide if behind every hugs and kisses. They know there’s something wrong but “Shsss…it’s better left unsaid.” Whatever it is, I have something to add. My point is very simple. I keep saying this thing from my previous posts. A Relationship that works is when both people want the relationship with each other in it and they are working for the same destiny. IF you two pass this criteria, I bet you guys can still make it even if you have Taboo issues that better left unsaid. These things are only there to give you the storms and winding roads so you have something to fight against to keep the relationship alive. Something worthy like that needs obstacles so you know the value and hey, it’s time to use your wisdom and strength.

So if you have things that are better left unsaid - maybe you can put a little room for them cos there are times when you wish that you don't know too much about things cos sometimes when you know too much, you have more questions, more doubts and more suspicions. Maybe certain things aren't meant to be complicated. So for this, just leave a leeway for some issues to be kept silent. Just concentrate on the battle at hand.

Stay strong together :)