Memory Disturbance?

I sms-ed my cousin in panic. Tiba2 I teringat about one work yang I delayed. I totally forgot about the details of the work. Omigawddd~!! I felt so bad towards my cousin masa tu, cos the work was brought in by her. Then I sms-ed her, Do you still have the details of the work? I LOST THEM ALL!! My cousin ni yang maybe sedang dalam kelas, sms me back. “Sia pun lupa ohh.” Alalaalalalalalaa… Parah ni!!!

Then I was afraid my cousin would think that I’m inefficient, so I sms-ed her back. “Nanti sia try find the paper la. Hopefully masih ada sini.” Hopefully it would make her feel good. Then not long after that, she sms-ed to me… “As long as I remember, semua sudah siap. Tiada lagi yang kena delay.” Then terbesar mata sia kejap. “AIKS??”

Daripada satu kekusutan yang baru mula mengambil tempat dalam kepala otak sia ni, suddenly satu kejutan. Rupanya memang betul kerja2 tu semua sudah sia kasi siap long before. Satu rasa kelegaan yang tidak boleh digambarkan. Tapi why my head felt so heavy as if banyak benda yang sia belum siap??

Sudah berapa lama sia torture kepala otak sia ni? Looks like some of the burden are only virtual and not real at all. Dalam pada sia cuba meet expectation diri sendiri, sepa sangka yang sebahagian bebanan dalam kepala sia ni sebenarnya “isn’t there at all”. Ouch?!

Then it made me think that actually sia ni terlampau underestimate my own efficiency. Maybe because I am quite perfectionist. But not too much la. Luckily, my customers mostly LESS perfectionist than me, jadi dorang boleh tolerate with a little bit defects here and there. But kadang2 my work memang teruk juga. Anyway, ada my loyal customers yang rely on me because they know I am perfectionist. Dorang tau sia sanggup dera diri sia sendiri untuk produce something, dan tidak buat something sambil lewa saja – they know I always put too hard on myself. They just let me get drown in my own expectation when they just tap from the good outcome.

Haiyaa…I don’t know laa…yang penting sekarang I want to finish my kerja first. Harap2 teda lagi jadi macam hal kemarin tu. Totally a redundant memory disturbance or what? Hehehehehehe. Woww…overload ka kepala sia ni ah? Not really ba kan? Hehehehehehe.

I still remember baru2 tu, my phone rang. I saw the name keluar di skrin. For example, the name comes out is Suzana. You guys know apa sia buat? Sia tengok ja tu skrin and biar tu phone ring sementara sia juggle my mind, “Suzana mana satu lagi ni ahh?” Then terus berbaris tu nama orang2 yang sia kenal yang bernama Suzana. Ada yang Suzana yang sia kena daripada short course. Ada Suzana yang sia kenal dari sekolah rendah. And then siap teringat lagi Suzana dalam lirik lagu tu ba. Alalaalalalalalala… Mana satu punya Suzana niii???? (/me pingsan ketawa) Then dia call again, sia tekan ja and kept quiet sebab sia masih juggling my memory. Takut2 silap orang ba. Dia cakap, “Hello, 256 ka ni?” Then I said, “Emmmm…Yes.” (Tapi sangat2 pelan sebab sia mau delay that conversation sampai la sia ingat or cam suara dia. Suara dia pun sia nda cam ba!! Adoii!! “Suzana ba niii” dia cakap. Dalam hati sia cakap, “Yeah I know you’re Suzana cos my phone has your name. The question is, Suzana MANA SATU!!!!???” (Hahahaahahahahahahaha) Then dia start cakap tujuan dia call sia, but sia terpaksa juga stop dia. “Wait wait…emmm…Suzana mana satu ni ahh?” Alaalalalaalala….jatuh my waterface. Palupa punya 256…Satu kali dia kastau sia the last time dia visit my workplace, baru laaa sia ingat. Patutlaaaa… Nama dia ni bukan pun Suzana baa. Nama dia sangat jauh daripada Suzana, tapi sia ingat tu dia cakap, semua orang panggil dia Suzana termasuk family dia so jarang2 dia pakai nama betul. So dia suruh sia tulis Suzana dalam phone sia tu. Hehehehehehehe. Aiks, macam ni pun adakah?

Let me make some memory test. “256, what’s your real name?” “When is your birthdate?” “What is your gender?” Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha. Okay! Luckily I still remember all those things. Hehehehehe. Ntah laaa…sia pun nyaris lupa nama sia ni. Sia cuma ingat sia ni si Twofivesix[256] jaa….Abis laaa guyssss…nama sendiri pun sampai telupa niii. Hahahaahahahahahahahahahaha.

Kiddingggg :PPPPPPPPP

Muahsss everyone. Happy Saturday.