No Make-Ups, Understand??!!!!

She used to be the most innocent one amongst us ever since we’ve been friends. From how she looked, tells it all. She rarely groomed. She didn’t do her hair more than a simple ponytail. Her natural curled hair didn’t do much to her looks. After college, she started going out with this guy that she decided to be the man that she wanted to marry. Occasionally, we did go hang out during holidays. I noticed that she started to wear make-ups. She had mascara, and even blue eyeshadows, and sometimes green, and she had her hair straightened. Although she didn’t put them as a professional would, but at least she managed to change her way from someone very simple to someone who tried to groom and look better. I should be surprised, because I would not put those make-ups she had, and for the records, the rest of us had our lipstick on long before she did. The common sense is, she was doing it for the guy she loves. Does a lady has to groom out of her routine just to impress the man who has begin to love her even before she started to groom? And then, she wore nice blouse and matching handbag – which to us, the only thing left that she had to do to complete the full cycle of transformation.

After seriously dating the guy for quite a while, they got engaged. The grooming went even further and the make-ups got thicker. I think that she finally found the way to present herself the best. And then, they got married. I didn’t meet her for quite a while after the marriage. But our other closefriend did. They met at a wedding of a friend they both know.

During a hangout session with the other closefriend. She brought up this matter about the particular friend that I have been talking about. “I don’t know la what’s wrong with her. She looks so tidak bermaya o during the wedding ba. Was she sick ka? So tidak bermaya, like TIDAK BERSERI langsung!” Then I went “Was she stressed out or what? Maybe she is still getting used with the marriage life. You know laa, anything goes.”

Finally one day we planned to go to a function together. I finally met her for the first time after the marriage. My other friend was right. She was looking as plain as ever. It was as if she went back to schooldays. No make-ups, no nothing. Not even the lightest lipstick on. Hey, isn’t that too much for someone who had made friends with mascara and eyeshadows for quite a while? Even the hair was messy – and I could see it that she was looking that way – intentionally. It’s not because she was too busy with her work and stuff, but she did that because she might wanted to appear “plain” in public. I couldn’t help but bring this up to my other friends, and we have concluded something… that – the husband stops her from wearing make-ups!

Of course this persoalan akan timbul secara logiknya, that the husband would say, “Sepa lagi kau mau pikat ni mau pakai2 mekap? Kita sudah kawin kan. Dulu buli la kau pakai sebab masa tu kau masih lagi mau impress sia. Sekarang ni, sepa lagi kau mau impress selain sia? Mau pakai2 mekap seolah-olah mau memikat lelaki lain pula. Macamana kalau ada lelaki suka sama kau sebab kau masih lagi mau berlawa-lawa? Sia mau kau lawa pun untuk sia ja. Teda sebab sudah kau mau mekap2 kasi tinguk org lain.”

Sounds familiar?

Wooo…bahayaa. Actually, persoalan kami tu belum ada jawapan yang tepat. Sebab kami tidak tanya dia sendiri. Tapi sia pernah tanya tu kenalan sia yang sudah berpuluh tahun kawin, dia cakap, “Bukan laki dia nda suruh tu, dia yang malas. Mimang perempuan punya gaya macam tu. Lepas kawin dorang malas mau berkemas-kemas macam dulu sebab teda sudah dorang mau pikat. Itu la pasal lelaki ni mula sudah cari di luar sebab bini sendiri selekeh dan tidak menarik sudah.” Aiks, lain pula ceritanya kan? Tapi dalam hati sia, sia tetap rasa dalam kes kawan sia tu, mesti apa yg kami cakap tu yang betul, sebab kawan sia sama lakinya tu masih lagi mcm bujang2 gaya dorang. Belum pun ada anak. Lagipun kawan sia tu berkerjaya. Tidak mungkin dia begitu malas sudah mau groom…kalau ya pun dia malas, tidak mungkin la sampai nampak selekeh pula kan? Mimang sah laki dia la suruh that!!

Uiks…lepas kawin kennot lawa2 meh? Aiyoo…itu concept sudah salah tu. Itu mekap kan, bukan untuk impress lelaki ba actually. Itu mekap adalah untuk pakai and look good di mata sendiri. I tell you guys why. Sebab u pakai mekap macamana pun, belum tentu u nampak better di mata lelaki yg u want impress, jadi itu concept, “untuk impress tu lelaki” sudah tidak kena. I’m sure you ladies pakai mekap, tinguk cermin, nampak lawa, then baru u cakap, Ok ngam! Nah, kalau semua prempuan pikir macam sia, percaya la… we groom for ourselves, not for you men! Jadi, haruskah the husbands stop the wives from bersolek? For me, benda ni is a sign of INSECURITY iaitu dia takut2 mcm bini dia mau pikat org lain dan silap2 org lain terpikat jua sama bininya. Bagilah itu bini or girlfriend kamu buat sesuatu untuk dirinya, sebab sia yakin, dorang pun paham tu yg mekap camana tebalpun, belum tentu org lain suka, tapi asal diri sendiri suka, hati rasa gembira dan yakin untuk tampil di khalayak ramai! Dan kalau kamu yg lelaki ni sendiri nda pecaya sama bini or gf kamu, tidak ka rapuh itu hubungan tu? Nah, pikir balik.

Macam kes kawan sia. Semua org pegi function tu groom nicely. She ja yg ketara betul plain. Sia sendiri nampak how tidak selesa she tu masa sebab event mcm tu, semua org groom ba. Sia nampak dia kekok dan rendah diri. Nah, dari sana juga la kami buat kesimpulan yang dia sebenarnya mau groom macam dulu, tapi something stops her. Stop the negative thinking that the wife will run away with a new guy just because of the silly makeover cos if she wants to do something like that, she would have done that long ago. Don’t steal your woman’s life by stopping her to look great sebab itu adalah HAK dia sebagai seorang perempuan. Ada paham?

To the single ladies, make it very clear to your partner how “looking good” is about YOU and not about “the other guys”. Remember that in the beginning, the looks must have something to do with the attraction you have towards your lady, and then you ask her to turn herself into this plain living thing. And guess what, if she looked that plain to begin with, you might not see much of her too as much as you do now. U get my point?

Give your lady to freedom to be a woman she wants. If she becomes unfaithful one day, TRUST ME it’s anything but the MAKE-UPS!!! Get a freaking life you jealous men!

*giggles.