Women, With The Weight Of The World On Their Shoulders

Adakah kamu menghargai perempuan di sekeliling kamu? Your mom, your wife or your girlfriend, your sister(s), your grandma, your aunties, your female cousins, your nieces and your female friends... dan yang akhir sekali, perempuan2 yg lalu lalang yang kamu langsung nda kenal? How seriously do you take them?

Sia tulis ni article sebagai seorang perempuan sebab sia tau apa rasa jadi perempuan. Sia pernah jadi baby, and then sia jadi budak perempuan, and then remaja perempuan dan now sia seorang perempuan yang matang. Sia diberikan kelebihan untuk share hasil tulisan sia sebab sia dikurniakan kebolehan untuk menulis. BUKAN SEMUA perempuan ada peluang untuk kongsi mind dorang dengan org lain mcm yang sia dpt buat sekarang. Pasal tu la sia ambil kesempatan ni untuk reach out to the world through my little piece of writing.

Kamu tau ka bila seorang perempuan tu discovers yang dia pregnant, dia punya laki dan keluarga, termasuklah diri dia sendiri, would probably prefer the first child to be A BOY? I know this to be true because I read a lot about it. Species lelaki ni dilahirkan untuk menjadi KETUA dan it’s such a great idea to have the first child as a male. For the Chinese people pula, anak lelaki can carry the family name for the generations. Secara saintifiknya, to get a baby boy isn’t as easy as getting a baby girl because you need the rare XY chromosome to form a boy foetus, and the common XX chromosome to form a girl. A baby boy is “SUCH A BLESSING”. Women, even before we are formed in the womb, the female species is already “A Second Choice.”

Now, sebaik saja kita lahir, we are already opened to social judgment. "Is the babygirl pretty? Cos if she's not, she'll face trouble finding a man to marry one day." This thing happens a lot, walaupun pada ketika kita terlalu muda to even know that we have actually started breathing. Awal2 pun sudah orang muka bercakap “di belakang kita” when dorang datang kita punya 1 month birthday. Kalau kita mimang dilahirkan cute, mimang kita bertuah. Tapi macamana kalau tidak? Yang pasti, cuma ibu bapa kita ja yang betul2 happy sama kedatangan kita di dunia ni.

When kita masuk primary school, usually kita akan ada kelebihan sebab biasanya kita akan lebih talkative dan lebih disukai sebab kita punya perangai yang comel dan keanakan. But when it comes to, “Who is the class monitor? Everyone will expect to see a hand from the boys corner. Walau macamana pun hebatnya kita sebagai seorang budak perempuan, orang tidak akan susah2 mau pikir pasal leadership kau. Dorang akan terus heran, “Are you sure you are the class monitor?” Dan kalau kau boleh control satu kelas yang ada 40-50 pelajar, kau mimang Luar Biasa, tapi bila kau tidak boleh control dorang, you’ll expect this, “Told you, she’s a girl. She can’t be a class monitor.” Hukuman sudah dijatuhkan dari awal lagi. Teda sepa akan berdebat jika kita gagal sebagai ketua.

Tempoh penghujung sekolah rendah ke awal sekolah menengah, kita dikejutkan lagi dengan sesuatu. “Oh my gosh, what’s this blood? Sia kena penyakit apa ni? Sia akan mati ka ni?” Untuk mereka yang tidak segan, akan terus cakap sama mom dorang. “Mom, there’s some blood on my panties.” So mom dorang kasi la dorang tu pad. Ada yang tekejut sebab tinguk tu benda too big to wear,”Mau dibagi dua ka ni?” and how to wear it? Some even wear it upside down. Lepas tu, lain lagi kalau tembus masa di sekolah. Mau cover2 pakai bag lagi kalau teda sudah kawan dapat tolong cover. Dan selepas tu, setiap bulan, sampai la tu perempuan putus haid, dorang akan alami PMS yang bermacam ragam. Mula la mood down, breast engorged, lemah badan. Lepas tu, semasa period tu pula, ada yang kena senggugut yang sakitnya melampau-lampau sampaikan dorang terpaksa baring dan tahan kesakitan tu selama berjam-jam. Muka pucat gila dan kadang2 sampai berpeluh bah menahan sakit.

See? Guys don’t have to face all this.

When we masuk sekolah menengah, masa ni mimang best. Itu budak2 lelaki senior la yang paling gembira sebab dorang imagine tu pelajar2 baru perempuan yang bebaris pegang nombor mcm tu beauty peagant, pilih mana satu mau kana urat dan mana satu mau hantar bunga. Untuk yg lelaki pula, tidak pula org harap dorang ni antara yang macho2 atau hunky sebab, “Alah, dorang masih muda. They will take time to grow.” Tapi kalau perempuan pula, if you are the ugly duckling, YOU ARE the ugly duckling. Yang cantik2 akan dapat “nota cinta” daripada tu guy seniors and nama dorang akan diteriak2 dan dipanggil2 bila dorang limpas. Yang tidak seberapa cantik pula mau tidak mau, terpaksa la rasa jauh hati sikit dan cemburu sebab dorang pula kana tinguk sebelah mata ja. Benda ni berlarutan menjadi Double Standards iaitu - "The girls on demand" or "The girls nobody demands". Dalam usia semuda itu, kita sudah pun rasa begitu punya emotional wars dalam diri kita because of the social demands. Kita sudah dinilai dari segi fizikal semasa begitu muda. Tapi tidak pula org jangka yang kita punya result itu kurang baik dalam studies kita. People still expect us to get better marks though at this age, we start to feel all kinds of conflicts just for being a teenage girl. Imagine how much the girls have to strive just to reach the expectation the society has for them.

Satu perjuangan yang terbesar untuk remaja perempuan adalah “social expectation”. Pada umur sekolah menengah dan lepas tu kolej dan uni, kita terdedah kepada gejala dari luar sebab pada usia ini, kita sangat muda terpengaruh, emosi membara dan kita mau mencari identiti. Tekanan dari keluarga dan teman sebaya akan jadi begitu hebat sebab expectation untuk dapat result yg bagus dan catch up with social demands. At the same time, there's a battle within them that sometimes turn them into a rebel. You can never imagine how much pressure a girl has at this stage. Dengan hormon yang aktif and then mix lagi dengan org yang salah, you can end up making irreversible mistake like accidentally losing your female gift, your virginity.

Bila benda ni terjadi, dunia akan menyalahkan kita. People often forget that you can't lose your virginity if you're alone. Org nda kisah sangat sepa tu lelaki. Yang penting, dorang tau, you are not virgin so you're immoral, you're dirty, you're cheap and you're worthless. While the unfortunate ladies are facing a lot of punishment and embarrassment from the society, how easy others will take advantage on them. Just look at the prostitutes - they are labeled as "DIRTY" or "PUBLIC TOILET" yet, men go after them despite their wives waiting at home (who are also women!). The girls who are unfortunate like this will NOT be seen as a WHOLE complete human being. They are referred to as "a piece of p*s*y*" and "You want her? Sure. You'll get a discount if you book for 2 hours" - It's not even them who put the price and it's even NEGOTIABLE!

Jangan lupa yang bukan semua pelacur tu adalah pelacur atas kemahuan sendiri. Dorang mungkin mangsa sindiket, atau terperangkap dengan penipuan atau ada yang buat dengan rela HANYA UNTUK kasi makan anak dorang di rumah. Dalam situasi dorang punya bapa lari dari tanggungjawab kasi makan tu anak bini dan tinggalkan tu tugas sama tu perempuan, dunia ni pula SIBUK sumpah seranah sama tu perempuan yg jadi pelacur untuk kasi makan anak dia, dan bukan pula dorang sibuk sumpah seranah tu laki dia yang lari. Berapa banyak lelaki yg sanggup hilang maruah hanya untuk kasi makan anak2 di rumah? As far as I know, the gigolos have nothing to lose but everything to gain. They are losing on their self value and feel a bit of guilty feelings but HEY, as usual, the WORLD CAN EXCUSE YOU MEN! DON'T WORRY!

Ha, speaking of gigolo. Sepa yang guna servis ni gigolo? Perempuan2 berduit kan? Nah, apa lagi. What else can you expect the world to say towards them? They get all the bad names especially when most of them are married and the money comes from the husband. Dorang guna tu duit husband dorang untuk bayar tu kemewahan yang dorang kasi sama tu gigolo in return of their "companionship". Apa yang orang overlook is that women are not "a toy". They have feelings too. They want to be loved and pampered too. Teda pula org bising2 pasal laki dia yang perangai tidak betul atau tidak setia, kasi biar tu bini dorang macam patung bernyawa di rumah. Itu perempuan juga kana hantam abis-abisan.

Teda sepa persoalkan. Kalau tu bini dorang semakin tua dan semakin kurang menarik, itu laki dapat tiket untuk pegi minta service tu call-girls. And the world will say, "Aaah, he's a man he has needs." Jadi kamurang pikir tu perempuan tu diperbuat daripada mesin dan wayar ka? The world will be busy blaming the wives for not keeping in shape and not looking good enough to make the husbands want them in bed.

Teda sepa peduli macamana itu perempuan bertungkus lumus mau jadi SUPERWOMAN, mau layan anak2, households lagi, kerja dorang lagi... and after all, sudah la begitu, sikit tolerate pun tiada daripada tu laki for them to look a bit messy from running around doing things for her family. Look at the salons, SPA, gyms, beauty clinics! - THEY ARE PACKED WITH WOMEN WHO WANT TO IMPRESS the men they love!

Not to mention how many beauty and health products are sold like "hot cakes" because the women stop at nothing just to win their husband back. In case you miss the death cases when women took slimming pills that led to kidney failure that finally took their lives. In some cases I read, these women were just months away after giving birth. THEY DIDN'T WAIT SO LONG TO START BEING A WIFE AGAIN. They want their figure back FOR THE HUSBANDS!

Lain lagi tu plastic surgery dan breast enlargements. How many women out there got silicon under their breast just because THE BIG ISN'T BIG ENOUGH for the men they love. Dorang risk their lives just to be pretty so they can feel loved by their men again. Dorang sudah nda peduli berapa byk darah yang keluar dari luka tu as long as they can see that smile on the men's face. But all the world know is, THESE WOMEN ARE A PITY AND UNGRATEFUL. THEY ARE NEVER SATISFIED WITH WHAT GOD HAS GIVEN THEM.

But when the men say, I want you to have bigger breast, hips and slimmer waist, and good skin - "Hey it's normal. It's the woman's responsibility to be beautiful for their man.

As for the women who are mothers…just imagine the 9 months of carrying around the baby in their stomach. Dorang kandung tu baby walaupun dorang sendiri nda pasti sama ada dorang akan ada di sana ka untuk melihat tu baby yg dorang lahirkan, sebab the pain of giving birth is "THE PAIN THAT HURT THE MOST as if their live is taken away from them" and surviving labour is almost a miracle. Tapi untuk kes laki yg nda sedar diri, "Get the baby out fast so you can get rid of that bulging belly and YOU BETTER GIVE BIRTH TO A HEALTHY BABY!" If the baby is abnormal, "IT'S A JINX THAT I MARRY YOU and look at the baby that will carry my name! You want people to laugh at us? IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT and your BAD GENES!"

Itu masa melahirkan. Lain lagi masa membesarkan. Bukan semua anak akan sayang mom dorang macamana mom dorang sayang dorang. Ini adalah risiko yg dorang kena pegang, iaitu sama ada kepayahan dorang selama 9 bulan tu akan mendatangkan sesuatu yg baik sama dorang. YET, they never give up to find that out. Kalaupun dorang terpaksa mengorbankan diri dorang untuk kasi makan anak2 dorang, THEY WILL DO IT. After all the sweats and hardship of raising the kids, they are still at risk that the kids will turn their back on them. When they are old and useless, they can expect to be sent to the welfare home so that they can die peacefully there.

Fikirlah berapa byk “hukuman” yg perlu dilalui oleh seorang perempuan sejak dorang lahir, dan ia tidak akan berhenti selagi dorang masih hidup. Now, the world has another one waiting to attack just any women through something that should be their womanly asset. If you guys don't know yet how every minute women are at risk. Their womanly asset - the breast - could get back at them anytime. Any time they can get false alarm if they find lumps on their breast and could only be thinking about death. And for those who have sex with random partners at early age, their cervix could be "eating" them AS I'M WRITING THIS LINE, and they don't even know it. After all the things, we women have to undergo…our own body is actually A TICKING BOMB for us that it could explode anytime and kill us.

Now, you guys pikir balik, macamana kamu treat perempuan2 dalam hidup kamu. Apa yang kamu admire sama dorang, sama ada kecantikan dorang atau tarikan fizikal yg kamu rasa sama dorang, hinggalah kepada how gross you look at other women for all the other reasons. The physical things could be deceitful, but after reading this article, I hope you get the idea that IT'S PAINFUL enough to even think about all that we have to go through just because we ARE WOMEN. If you think you guys can simply judge us as bitchy, plain-jane, fat-ass, big-breast, or a baby-making machine - I hope you guys have some heart after you read this. I hope you guys will have the guts to say "THANK YOU" FOR BEING ONE OF THE WOMEN IN MY LIFE. I want to congratulate all the women in this world for all the tears you've cried and all the laughs you bring to the people around you. I know what you have gone through and are still going through because I am a woman too, so I KNOW. When I turn on the tv and hear we lost another female to breast/cervical cancer, I feel so heavy and sad. Some of these women were still in the middle of the mission of doing a lot of good deeds for the society and some were still building their family lives and some, not even get to experience marriage. I am so sad because of what is happening to women in the world today.

I cried to God and asked, "WHY GOD, WHY? PLEASEE HAVE PITY ON US WOMEN. THINK OF ALL THE GOOD THINGS THAT WE CAN DO TO THIS WORLD IF WE COULD LIVE LONGER. LET US ENJOY THIS LIFE WITH THE PEOPLE WE LOVE. GIVE US MORE TIME TO EXPERIENCE THIS LIFE AND ACHIEVE OUR DREAMS. I ASK FOR YOUR MERCY, LORD. HAVE PITY ON US, WOMEN".

BE THANKFUL FOR HAVING WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE. THEY ARE THERE DESPITE HAVING THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON THEIR SHOULDERS. EVERYTIME YOU LOOK AT A WOMAN, PLEASE APPRECIATE THEM BECAUSE YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT EASY AT ALL TO BE A WOMAN. THANK YOU LORD FOR CREATING WOMEN AND THANKS FOR THE STRENGTH. MAY ALL THE WOMEN THEMSELVES KNOW.

"WHAT A WONDERFUL CREATURE WE ARE"