"Judging The Book By Its Cover"

Semalam, I had a chat with this fellow chatter. Awal2 we talked about some experiences dealing with rude people whose job are to to deal with the public. She mentioned yang mentang2 la she pakai selekeh, orang pun tinguk dia teda mata. Cakap kasar2 dan pikir orang ni mcm datang dari kampung2. Satu kali, once she started talking in English, baru tu orang punya muka lain2 sebab dia pikir semua yg pakai selekeh2 sikit ni mesti org teda pelajaran. Ohoo…silap kamurang tu geng! Then I said, “Mimang ada orang mcm tu. Dorang tinguk penampilan org tu dulu sebelum dorang mau layan baik2”. Hey, look who’s talking. I sendiri pernah kena mcm tu when I deal with this bank. When I pakai t-shirt and loose pants, itu perempuan di kaunter mcm malas2 mau layan. Cakap pun mau raise voice. Selang beberapa bulan ja after that, I come to the same bank, buat urusan yang lebih kurang sama. Cuma this time I dressed nicely mcm biasa la, in my working attire. Layanan sangat berbeza. The same girl yang di kaunter tu, cakap pun tunduk2 dan segan2. When I said something, dia dengar baik2. Then itu masa la sia nampak sendiri macamana orang ni menilai orang lain melalui penampilan dorang. So, making use of this, maybe you can consider wearing nicely kalau mau urusan kau berjalan dengan lancar. Bukan pasal apa, pasal kita teda masa mau correct penilaian orang kalau dalam situasi macam tu. Urusan kita tu lagi penting. Kita kena ikut ja cara mainan dorang. True or not? First impressions do count! The best part of the conversation with the chatter comes when I learnt that she is actually a single mother. Then learning that she has been that way for more than 10 years, then I asked la. “Don’t you feel like looking for a replacement?” She thought I was kidding. Maybe it never crossed her mind. Then she said to me, “A replacement?” “Ada ka yang mau sia lagi? I’m old enough. I’m not pretty. Not solid. Noone will accept me especially after knowing that I’m a single mother. I don’t groom and wear make-ups. I don’t even dress nicely after work.” Then I had this urge to say something. I felt that something needs to be corrected.

“Please don’t say that. Of course someone will fall for you. But first, you must have that self confidence. Beauty will shine from the inside. Everything else will fall in place. You can’t sound that negative to begin with.” Then she said, “I have self –confidence in my work. But not in relationship.”

Then I replied,

“Okay, then start somewhere. You’ll be surprised that the prouder you are of yourself, the more attractive you become. But I’m not the type who shows off just to attract other people.”

I said,

“No, Don’t do it for others. Do it for yourself. For your own pleasure. Be proud because you are who you are. You have career, you have a good life, you have it all. Most women don’t even have what you have now. You have the reason to be proud.”

Then I added this,

“Maybe you may start to groom and dress nicely, just to tell yourself once again that you’re THAT worthy. You love the woman you are. And you do all this for YOURSELF.” Forget about other people first. My point is kinda simple. Sometimes we worried too much about putting up a good cover. Looking beautiful and all. But actually, I found out that the way you bring yourself is actually where the real attraction lies. You’ll be surprised when the girls who has the most self confidence have more fans than those who are pretty but nothing else. The attraction lies in how comfortable you are of being yourself. At the end of the day, it’s not about Who’s the prettiest of them all, anymore. Those who have learnt to love themselves and feel good about themselves, becomes a magnet for others to feel the same way towards them. And I don’t say that we go through all this just to please others. My concept is always – begin with yourself first. Whatever you do, you do it for yourself first. Feel Good and you’ll look good. Let’s try it, what do you say?