Sorry, I'm Letting You Go

Earlier this year, my parents decided to do house-cleaning at our other home. So they brought back a few bags and boxes and asked us to choose which to keep and which to throw away. I was so smitten and delighted to find what's inside them. Whoa. My old things that I have forgotten cos I thought I lost them all. Old pictures, cards, gifts, badges, nametags, frames, books, cassettes and many others. If you ask me, these were once my treasure, and still are.

So still, I picked only 30% of them. The rest, I decided to leave them in the boxes and understood that they gonna end up in the garbage bin. Among the things I save is a lyrics log book that I wrote back in secondary school. I remember I was known for my lyric books. I just love songs that much actually. So I decided to keep the book thinking that one day, I might be in the mood to reminisce the old days and have sthing to giggle about. Same with the other things. I thought that they might be useful one fine day when I get all sentimental about the past. Question is, when is that day? Will it ever come? 

Back to reality at hands, even during MCO 3 that has been going on for more than a month now, I have all the time in the world. But what did I do? Almost nothing. I was busy entertaining my thoughts, my moods, looking for things on the net and other things. My room is literally getting smaller. I have less floor to walk on and suddenly it just knocks me. I CAN'T KEEP EVERYTHING. I have 2 bulks of nice clothes that I decided to keep away because my wardrobe just couldn't hold that many. I keep buying new clothes, and my older clothes keep getting in the way. I don't want to be seen wearing the same old things I wore years ago. I mean, WHY should I? The new clothes are wearing to be worn. The bigger question is, until when that I must still hold on to the values of the materials that are once meaningful to me when I still keep looking for new things to own. 

Do you guys get the point? No one's getting younger, right? We only head to the future. We are losing a year in our life everytime. How much forward to I have to look for to have the time to sit and recall the past for the sake of old memories. I realize now that as much as I want to do that, I just don't have the capacity to carry them all. So yesterday, I decided to just throw away the stuff I saved from the old boxes. I have to let them go. They had their time in my life. I must let go of these baggages, because my attitude in keeping the old stuff, reflects how clingy I was to my past feelings. I gotta stop all this. I REALLY DO.

So call that a newly-found wisdom. I wish to unlock more. New memories, my present, my future are dedicated for you. Goodbye PAST. Sorry, I'm letting you go.